One of the complexities when we're healing from trauma is that when we've tried to voice our experiences of what happened to us we were simply not heard and a secondary trauma is almost perpetuated from this that the people that we believed were safe uh to actually go to uh we're not safe at all and we have to carry this seemingly alone so that can be very stressful to have and as EFT tapping is a stress reduction tool let's use EFT tapping to reduce some of these symptoms so taking full responsibility for your own well being and repeating after me let's begin to tap and let's go with that flow Even though I've had many traumatic experiences many scary experiences and I've had to carry these experiences alone as when I've tried to have my voice and tried to be heard I was shut down and I was left to feel like I was all alone and I'm open to loving and accepting myself. Even though the more that I've tried to speak up the less people want to know and of all these experiences where I've been disconnected from myself trying to find connection with others is just falling on deaf ears and I'm open to loving and accepting myself. Even though of all of these experiences that I've had to go through that connection to others where I wanted care and love wasn't too caring when I tried to voice some things that weren't and I'm open to loving and accepting myself.
All of these experiences all of these harmful experiences all of these scary experiences all these isolating experiences as when I've tried to have my voice and speak up that something was not right I was made to look like the wrong one for voicing some wrong that happened to me they might have been friends and family or authority figures who when I raised the problem saw me as the problem instead there was definitely an issue and the more that I raise the issue the more I got seen as the issue I'm better to be seen and not heard and the message I got in return was that I was to suffer in silence as it's a terrible inconvenience for others to hear a perception and reality than the difference of what they're substituting for their own it's gonna like that bystander effect well if I do something I have to get involved I don't wanna do that so I look the other way not my issue stop calling out for help and it's falling on deaf ears they might use her moral disengagement and say to themselves well it's their fault for getting hurt I'll dehumanize them or defuse any responsibility where I might have to act to acts of aggression be it emotional or physical against myself that is speaking up and saying this is not right as I am not being treated right I might even go to the people in an effort to bring sanity to insane actions and say stop hurting me hey I found this research that said you might be this way but anyone that doesn't want responsibility for their actions I may meet instead their reactions cause it's my fault that their way that way and why not take it out on me? Cause I made them feel bad by treating me bad some things we just don't wanna look at so it's better to avoid better to suffer silence but strangely I don't feel better about that I might even be met with a statement like I'm so ungrateful I should just move on and I did the best that I could! 10 points.
. . if I sought resolution for something especially for someone that I cared about even though they're not showing caring actions towards myself perhaps I don't wanna move on perhaps I wanna bring awareness too some injustifiable actions in the hope that they can get better and stop doing the harm that they did if this is just the best that they can do is that the final line in the chapter?
Well that's the best that I can do so I'll do no more this is the best it's gonna be so you better be grateful for that. Doesn't quite make sense does it? How long do I have to wait for the better to get better?
They can defuse this responsibility by discharging their anger upon me and justify their actions for voicing things that were not right. Or. They could take responsibility as if this is the best that they can do maybe they could do better by addressing things that aren't the best for everyone including myself.
And if my message from my social society or my social group is that it's better to suffer in silence keep a stiff upper lip just don't talk about these things be the bigger person does it work the other way? And how much empathy must I lose for myself in order to lose for others? Cause if I can't care for myself by not being the bigger person by accepting belittling acts against me and to keep a stiff upper lip to the point where I'm rigid unwell by holding on to so much toxicity that I can't talk to others about there's other things that I can do in silence as well as my health slowly declines and I might have to also come to the awareness that that's a miserable experience to go through and those that don't want to see the reality of a person who can commit a harm against myself maybe in the same company and misery likes company and they don't want any form of resolution from that so it might mean my Social Circle may travel in the same social groups that group them into a certain category of perpetuating the harm that was done against me that I tried to speak up about and I have to consider if I wanna be a part of that or seek other circles and that can be scary definitely by all these signals that I've received by those that I thought that cared but there has been one voice and one voice that I haven't been listening to too well that has been wanting the best for myself the voice of my own and that voice definitely knows between what is right and what is wrong and what is love and what is not and it's been loud enough for me to hear for me to listen when my environment was clearly wrong and I'm listening a little bit more to that I might have had a lot of trust broken but I might start to trust myself and listen to what's right for me even though other parts of myself all these voices from my environment that tell me that I should never be anything better perhaps I can listen to what's best for myself and in doing so in growing that inner love that inner compassion that inner strength and courage to go against the grain to no longer accept the unacceptable I might find a new strength and in finding a new strength for self I might find a new strength of social groups and those that can clearly see right from wrong and will be there for me when the wrong happens to help me feel right again and that may be a long road there's a lot to undo but I do want the best for myself and I'm grateful for every day where I don't have to accept these unacceptable ways I'm growing in strength and power within myself I realized the shame that I had to carry was from those that could not carry that themselves I'm freeing myself of these burdens and I'm listening to myself my voice is loved and treasured as I am in my own eyes no matter what anyone says in mind, body and spirit taking a full breath in and out.
And yes it can be terribly invalidating to actually have your experiences and have people add their own variety of experiences to that but once again we don't have to look to others to justify what happened to us we're aware of that in our body we're aware of it and how it's affected our lives and sometimes it's giving our own self the self justice and to advocate for our own well being by speaking up for ourselves and those that don't want to hear it I guess also need to go into therapy and heal from these behaviours that perpetuate onto others that we have to actually heal from so it's not acceptable and I don't accept it at all so time to start accepting ourselves by giving ourselves the love and attention and the care that we deserve and we should have had in the first place so I'm Dion from Eflowtion Support Services I offer EFT tapping one on one online so check out Eflowtion Support Services. com if you want a more in depth experience with EFT Tapping and I'll catch you in next one. Bye for now.
