she's hardly a supermodel or movie star but today Nora Vincent is getting the full-blown glammer treatment Nora is a writer and one of these shots will Adorn the cover of her new book this wasn't just a stunt this was about learning this is a human project it was about finding something out about the human creature and I learned it the best possible way because I went through it what Norah went through or more accurately what she became in the last 2 years was a man yeah a little bit shorter on the top no Nora didn't
get a sex change operation she did it the oldfashioned way with acting and a disguise at 5' 10 155 lb and wearing men size 11 shoes Nora was a natural growing up in the midwest with her actress mother lawyer father and two older brothers Nora was a tomboy with a flare for the dramatic she says she's still a tomboy and in fact is a lesbian living in Midtown Manhattan with her partner Lisa I think we can work with this her transformation into the guy she calls Ned begins with a buzz cut baggy men's clothes and
a two small sports bra to flatten her breasts she even wore a little padding in a jock strap I also tried to think well what kind of guy is Ned and get for the rest she Enlisted the help of makeup artist Ryan McWilliams she just came to me and said Ryan I'm I need to turn into a man the hair small as we can make it right and so they came up with a method of shredding braided wool into whisker siiz bits and gluing it onto her face women have much stronger nasal resonance as a
as a and then there's the theatrical component a so just easy Tarzan out on your chest a little a good juliard voice teacher Kate morray coached Nora for months on a program of movement breathing and speaking I want you to be the best man you can be I all to incorporate some of the subtle and not subtle characteristics of being a guy notice what men do if they need to suddenly grab a taxi hey they just do that whereas women will ask for a taxi instead of demand one when all the pieces are together hair
makeup voice posture style the transformation is [Applause] complete and Nora Vincent becomes Ned Vincent I can one of these shots will be the second photo on the book cover the book self-made man is out today and is about Norah's 18 months living as Ned I wanted to enter male spheres of interest and see how men are with each other I wanted to make friends with men I wanted to know how male friendships work from the inside out Ned's first act as a newly minted male was to join that quintessential Bastion of camaraderie a men's bowling
team the only problem was she's a terrible bowler I probably bowled before this three times in my life and that was you know in high school when you do it with both hands you know so it was just insane for me to walk into this place without any and why didn't they just run you out of town when they saw how bad you were it's an amazing thing because I think I mean that that's shows you the generosity that they had it was the first of Nora's many surprises she thought these guys from a workingclass
Pennsylvania neighborhood would mock Ned's B and reject him as a guy but from their first meeting they accepted Ned the handshake was unbelievable that blew me away the first time I shook hands with a guy a strange guy and I was amazed because you think of women you know we're so nice we're so easy men are so mean complete opposite hey baby and I felt as comfortable as I could feel right away they just took me in no questions asked this is the first time the guys are coming face to face with the female version
of n would you have known me on the street no no good good taller than I remember yeah I know you're shorter what happened though they've known about Norah's true identity for months how are you congratulations this reunion is their first chance to talk about their friendship but you guys had said that wasn't there that game that you know the the person who didn't make it to 100 had to wear women's panties at the end of the season and I thought you know I'm going to give you guys a shock of your life the team
had bowled together for 9 months and gradually Nora gained entrance into the inner sanctum she found that all the cussing and good nature ribbing is just how men often show affection for each other go oh yeah remember it is oh my God that's right I forgot all about that did you know based on watching her Bowl I mean you know the joke was she bowled like a girl but we had our suspicions that these guys did I just was gay everybody really yeah everybody has their own style you know but my style was style is
thisy near the end of the team's run Nora decided to reveal herself as a woman nervous about how they'd react she tested the waters with the one guy she was closest to she took Jim out for a drink so she sits you down she's very serious and she says I'm going to tell you something that's going to blow your mind and what did you say I said the only thing that will blow my mind you told me that you were a girl and that she was a guy and she go well your half right the
she Jim's talking about is Norah's partner Lisa who the team had met several times Jim assumed they were Ned and Lisa a heterosexual couple but you didn't believe her at first at first well I was still in shock I said how can this Poss you know where would this come from this is just a regular Monday night I was out boring having a good time a few minutes ago now I'm trapped in this bizarre conversation about your name isn't anymore you know later Jim told the rest of the team who all took it well what
do you think nor expected to find in a bowling alley full of guys I think you expected to find like a bunch of guys just talking about women's private parts and bunch of racists and you know I think kind of that's what she came into this thinking they really showed me up as being the one who was really judgmental because they were the ones who took me in not knowing anything about me they were the ones who made me their friend and you know no judgments attached that's not like it what's wrong Nora and Jim
became closer friends once he knew that he was a she now Jim was willing to speak more personally and openly like about his wife's cancer Nora came to see that between men intimacy is sadly lacking there's a tremendous potential for tenderness between men and I I'm not sure that it's always realized and it's terribly sad cracking the mystery of a boy's Night Out is one thing but what about the explicit world of a man's sexuality I really ran smack up against the difference between male and female sexuality is that female sexuality is mental it's up
here and male sexuality is a bodily function it's a necessity you just have to do it when we come back Nora goes to strip clubs in the company of men as a [Applause] man over the 18 months of venturing out in the world as a man Nora Vincent guesses she put on Ned's whiskers and clothes about 150 times after the bowling league she was ready for love and [Music] sex you went to a couple of sex clubs what were you trying to get at well at first I thought this is sort of the quintessential guy
guy thing to do right the bachelor party at the strip club when I told people initially that I was doing this it' say oh you got to go to a strip club she says the clubs were obviously sexual but once again lacking in intimacy which leaves men emotionally frustrated I saw the men there I saw the looks on their faces I saw them sitting alone nursing their Bourbon and this is not about appreciation of women of course it's not about appreciation of their own sexuality it's about an urge and it's that's not always that pleasurable
really these guys who go to these high price clubs would say this isn't about pain it's about pleasure men have had the tears and the emotional expression sort of pounded out of them from an early age and so by the time they're they're men it's very they don't even have the vocabulary anymore or or the emotional awareness to really say what they're feeling Nora says strip joints are about pure sex drive completely empty of any meaningful interaction even when a woman is gting on your lap but you're attracted to women were you ever aroused during
any of these I really ran smack up against the difference between male and female sexuality is that female sexuality is mental it's up here whereas for men Nora says sexuality is shall we say below the waist at its core it's a bodily function it's a necessity it is such a powerful drive and I think because we don't have testosterone in our systems we don't understand how hard it is so it never gets cold where you back in Australia throughout the project Ned dabbled in the art of picking up a woman where did your go we
went with him to this bar wearing hidden cameras this is my friend JC I'm n Nora was reminded that in this Arena it's women who have all the power we sit there and we just with one word no will crush someone and the thing is we don't have to do the part where you cross the room and you go up to a stranger and say the first words and those first words are so hard to say without sounding like a cheeseball or sounding like a jerk or whatever else and what do you guys do Nora
says the brush off Barbara Jones gave Ned was typical she was just sort of emblazened with hostility you know just looked at you and you saw everything cross her face which was oh God help me not again I'm trying to have a drink with a friend and I got to deal with you Barbara was trying to dispose of Ned before her friend returned from the bathroom we haven't seen each other in a while got to head out but then return turned and told Barbara the truth about her gender saying you gave us all the lines
like try to get rid of us see and as a woman I have such sympathy I'm like oh I hate being this guy that you're trying to get rid of talking to a woman Barbara seemed more open and friendly and in the end actually apologized for how she had treated Ned sorry for being bit please does that kind of living in the skin of a man in the bar scene in the dating scene give you a different kind of respect for men it gives me a certain definite SYM aathy um and I don't mean that
there's any disrespect but it it just makes me understand what's going on Nora as Ned also went on about 30 dates with women mostly arranging them on the Internet did you have any fun rarely rarely it was just unpleasant yeah she says the pressure of Ned having to prove himself was grueling Nora was surprised that many women had no interest in a soft vulnerable man my Prejudice was that the the ideal man is a woman in a man's body and I learned no that's really not there are a lot of women out there who really
want a manly man ultimately Ned told most of his dates that he was Nora many of the women reacted angrily but usually just for a little while some women wanted to continue the relationship they remained interested in pursuing something further you know so whereas sexually yeah and that was heterosexual women who that's what I'm saying it's all up here because they said well we connected and you know there's something I really like you and I don't care how many guys would do that that's the difference between male and sex female sexuality right there Nora says
she found differences not only in sexuality and intimacy but in every Walk of Life I'm in the market for a car and take for example shopping for a new car going in as Norah the sales pitch quickly becomes flirtatious any guy that gets in it's going to feel like okay this girl I want to date this girl just for a car well see I didn't say I but going back to the same salesman as Ned the tone was all business and the talk was all about performance they have a 3 l durch V6 engine and
in the end a personal touch for Nora the salesman would never have offered Ned all right thank you you're welcome in Nora's final month says Ned she upped the Annie infiltrating all male inner sanctums but after 8 18 months of deception she was unraveling and the play acting at a men's Wilderness encounter group would begin to scare her one guy had chopped up a log pretending it was his wife so I thought great you know we're going to have axes and knives so I was terrified having survived strip clubs dating and a bowling league Nora
Vincent wanted Ned's last days to be among men only in private and intimate surroundings Norah elapsed Catholic thought the cloistered inner world of a monastery would be ideal Ned managed to live for 3 weeks as a trainee the monks she says were Pious smart men but they were still men what made it prototypically male what do you mean by that the breakdown in communication the the the need the desperate need for male intimacy and the lack of ability to give it really painful Nora says the monks were hostile to her feminine side she says she
was ostracized because of the Monk's assumptions about her sexual orientation Ned was really at the center of it because he was an effeminate man and many of them thought I was gay as one of them told me in confession you know I said I have something to confess to you and he said well I think I know what it is and and I said what and he said well you're gay and I said well yeah but not in the way you think loneliness can't hide Nora thought the perfect end to her 18-month Saga was to
join a men only Therapy Group a place where guys tried to bond and show their emotions instead of hiding them they don't get to show the weakness they don't get to show the affection especially with each other and so so often all of their emotions are shown in Rage and they kept talking about their rage often their rage toward women and what they would do physically and violently towards women right a lot of this was blowing off steam it's sort of talking about the things that need to be said that you know you would never
do I mean you know they would talk about fantasizing about chopping up their wives or something it's not that they would ever do that but it was a way to get out the blackest thoughts he doesn't like doing that work but he can't quit Nora began to empathize with the fear and stress men feel for having to always be the strong provider the therapy leader psychologist John gorelli saw Ned's shyness as typical of a newbie coming to Brave the group a lot of the guys spoke to me after the retreat and said talking to him
I felt like I was talking to somebody feminine once again some group members thought Ned was gay but no one suspected he was a woman after eight sessions the group went on a Backcountry retreat but Norah's 18 months of being an impostor was closing in on her the pressure of being someone that you're not and being the fear of Discovery and the deceit that it involves piles up and piles up so by the time I got around to doing this men's group it was really reaching critical critical mass on the retreat her fear became palpable
and I was out in the woods with a bunch of guys who have rage issues about women and I was in Drag and I thought oh God you know what am I doing Nora was unraveling she felt guilty about lying as though she should be punished in the final ritual of the weekend the men were to act out the problems Unearthed at the retreat with a partner and you asked that he harm you yeah yeah I did at that point I was starting to really kind of crack up I was really you coming unglued yeah
you were asking this guy to cut me to cut me so self mutilation is is very much a female thing and I think it was my way of of paying the penalty for what I I felt I had done Nora was not harmed physically but she continued her emotional descent and a week later checked into a hospital with severe depression identity she concluded was not something to play around with when you mess around with that you really mess around with something that you you need that helps you to function and I found out that gender
lives in your brain and it's something much more than costume and I really learned that the hard way Nora says she's healed now and glad to be rid of Ned but her views about men have changed forever men are suffering they have different problems than women have but they don't have it better they need our sympathy they need our love and they need each other more than anything else they need to be together do you think women understand what it's like to be a man not at all no clue no idea John gorelli thinks Norah's
conclusions that men are just as emotionally vulnerable as women are important and will be taken seriously because they came from a woman I said to her this is going to be revolutionary because it's been looked at as though men were the perpetrators and women were the victims this is and now one last identity switch wari has never come face to face with the real Nora hi John I'm Nora hi wow Ru teaches so we can never come to the meeting so and both John and Nora are happy she is a she the irony is not
lost on Nora that it took a trip into manhood to help her appreciate her own femininity I'm so much closer to myself than I ever was that I really like me I really like being me and I really like being a woman did you like being a woman before Ned I did but I like it more now cuz I think it's more of a privilege that's perfect right there that's awesome like that nice
