we're coming it mean before we get started I'd like to just talk to you about confidentiality everything you say in this session is confidential it doesn't leave this room with the exception that if I think you're gonna harm yourself or you've been a threat to harm someone else then we're gonna have to have a discussion about that and I might have to inform the authorities so they understand that okay okay before we get started kidding you should use your cells please I knew her okay I agree okay so either why don't you start off by
telling me why you're here we're here because my daughter amber she she's she's 21 years old and she still lives at home and she's always she goes out partying all the time she never helps out around the house she doesn't the job she dropped out of college she's just not going anywhere in life and she just thinks this is the way that she's gonna live and I don't want her just coming into my house at 3:00 in the morning when I have to get up and get ready to go to work and she's just now
coming home and then she's gonna sleep all day and eat all the food and not contribute to anything okay so amber how does that make you feel what's your response to that I don't know what she's talking about I help out around the house but what do you do I think up my trash when I meet in my room and I claim the sink off in the bathroom this way in and I helped my mom when she needs help when she asked me but she never asked me she just expects me to know what to
do I shouldn't have to ask you're an adult you should know how to take care of a house and how to clean and keep up on things well you never taught me that stuff so how am I supposed to know but how many times a week do you go out partying every night you got every night yeah how's me anything wrong with that so spa need to go out and party every single night right because you're a teenager or 19 or 21 but you want to have fun right yeah I mean I don't have any
bills or anything so I don't have kids so you have no responsibility so why not have fun exactly I had to say I don't know it seems like that your mom enabled you and then she's been giving you everything that you want that's the same like she's trying to discipline you at all seems like you're almost like you're anything use this term it seems like you're almost ready while I mean she has given me everything and I tell her I appreciate that all the time I don't know I mean I don't know what you guys
want I don't even know why we're here because now she's an adult and I helped her through high school and she was expected to go to college and she was told that she could stay at home when she was in college but now she's not because she dropped out so now she needs to be figuring her own stuff out and having responsibilities how does that make you feel what's your response to that I don't think I should have responsibility is when I'm still young and I love it so why do I need responsibilities I mean
she's never made me do a lot of stuff anyways I don't understand them so it's okay to party all the time what's wrong with it so keep up party about something all your problems right absolutely so you don't think your mom is spoiled you at all I mean yeah she spoiled me she's given me everything I wanted and she used to when I was growing up but when I was a teenager I had my friends over and she knew we were drinking and she knew we were out partying and she never she never got mad
I never got grounded I never got in trouble for it so I don't see why now all of a sudden she has a problem with it okay well it seems like we're kind of at loggerheads here because you're engaging behavior even though you think it's fun carefree that you should do it however to defend your mother that makes it seems to be from her perspective it's making life harder on her so I want I want you to try to change your behaviors like are you willing to modify your behavior to help your mom I mean
I hope we're all ready but guess I can pick up the next record okay so how about every time you want to go party I'm going to go out and have fun that you decide to clean a room of the house before you go out okay okay you try to do that before how does that realize that she's an adult and not a teenager and 21 makes him young but 21 you're supposed to be having responsibilities okay I think this is kind of put you in a tough situation glad you're doing this because you love
your daughter and you wanted to do well at the same time you don't want to spoil her and overdo it you love Richard watch the children said that partying all the time yeah so why don't we meet in two weeks and discuss see how this finalized that sound good okay hi amber breathe thanks for coming back to our for a second session together okay so we haven't met in a couple weeks can you tell me how things went well I just got tired of every time I went out I had to come home with Clinton
around so I just started helping out more around the house so I just figured that would be easier than making the time to clean every single time I go out so I'm just trying to clean a few rooms at a time instead of just one or another every night that's not you tired it just clean when I get home the bed I go okay it's gone a lot better she's been helping around the house and our relationship has gotten a little bit better okay so something things are slightly improving a little bit well when we
move in an even greater direction of of more happiness between you two because it seems to me we their other obsession you're talking that this party was out of hand that you really weren't spending quality time with your mom and it's important for your relationship you two see each other when you're not over or drinking ready to go out so why don't we try the stead of going out partying every night this time of nights a week going out with your friends what else we'll split that time in half you can spend three nights at
home with your mom I don't think I can do that why can't you do that I don't really want to hang out with my mom all the time romantic now I'm not talking all the time we're talking three nights a week out of seven what are we gonna do watch TV I mean it just seems kind of boring well you could talk you know we could be interested but yeah anything about anything yeah I mean it's it's like it seems like your mom's interested in your life you're interested are you I mean you don't have
to tell her every detail of your 21 year old woman but at the same time you two live together and she puts a roof over me and she you pay the bills don't you yeah she pays the bills I think there's some obligation I mean if that's the only way she'll pay the bills I guess well I'm not trying to deplete you the double-play put you in a body or anything but I think that if you can think about from your mom's perspective that she wants to spend more time with you put yourself in her
shoes I think you'll be better off I mean I can try to spend more time with there I don't want this about a schedule though but I'll definitely try to spend more time with her well why don't we say this we're gonna meet in the next three weeks we'll start out this the first week you'll spend one night alone with your mom then the second week you'll spend two nights with your mom and then the third week you'll spend three nights that way we'll slowly build up to it rather than once like that okay that
worked better okay so we're gonna do summarize we're going to gradually have you spent more time with your mother and that way this will hopefully encourage its strength from the emotional bonds between you two you'll feel closer it seems like we're ready that by cleaning you're starting to learn more responsibility so you're not being a spoiled and it's coggle as much so it sounds like we're on the right tracks let's keep going on this train of more responsibility and a more fruitful relationship with your mother okay okay sounds good okay all right we'll be three
weeks
