Sarah Chen bit her lower lip hard she wouldn't laugh she absolutely would not laugh as Earth's representative to the galactic Council she had a duty to maintain some semblance of diplomatic dignity but sweet Einstein on a pogo stick these aliens made it difficult and in the past solar rotation alone humans have violated exactly 2,847 safety protocols High Commissioner zix's voice Rose to a pitch that made Sarah's translator Crackle their phosphorescent tentacles were practically strobing with agitation which really didn't help Sarah's attempt to keep a straight face the grand chamber of the galactic Council was packed today representatives from over 300 species filled the spiraling tears of crystalline seats each one looking more horrified than the last the chamber itself was a Marvel of over-engineering with safety features that would make Osho weep with joy even the air was filtered purified and sanitized exactly 14 times before being deemed safe enough for the assembled dignitaries to breathe would the human representative care to explain why a group of her species was observed asterisk juggling asterisk plasma containment spheres another counselor this one looking like a rather distinguished cross between a peacock and a jellyfish waved a data pad accusingly ah yes Sarah coughed buying time to compose herself I believe that was the engineering Crews we weekly skill buing exercise they find it helps with hand eye coordination a collective gasp echoed through the chamber someone in the upper tiers actually fainted skill building zix's translators seem to struggle with the concept those spheres contain enough energy to power a small City exactly Sarah brightened so you can imagine how careful they have to be really builds Focus you know the peacock jellyfish counselor's plumage went completely flat and the in in the Hydroponics Bay where your species was observed asterisk deliberately ingesting asterisk capsus and Laden plant matter Oh you mean the hot sauce contest Sarah couldn't help grinning now that was just the annual Scoville Championship though I have to say chief engineer Rodriguez's homemade Supernova sauce was a bit much even for me pretty sure I saw through time for a minute there more fainting the medical drones were getting quite a workout today zix at tall's tentacles had gone from strobing to full-on Rave mode you you mean to tell us that your species asterisk intentionally asterisk consumes neurotoxins for for asterisk entertainment asterisk well when you put it that way it sounds bad Sarah admitted we prefer to think of it as spicing things up a bit speaking of which I brought samples if anyone would like to no the unified shriek from the entire Council actually made the safety reinforced windows vibrate Sarah Shrugged and pulled out a small red bottle from her pocket the surrounding delegate scrambled back as she casually added a few drops to her water your loss zix was now Consulting furiously with several other council members their tentacles intertwining in what Sarah had Learned was the xenobiological equivalent of a nervous breakdown representative Chen they finally managed are you aware that your species was classified as Class 12 death worlders upon first Contact oh sure Sarah took a sip of her now spicy water we thought it was pretty cool actually there's a whole extreme sports League named after it back home and and were you aware that this classification comes with exactly 57,8 32 mandatory safety protocols Sarah blinked wait those were asterisk mandatory asterisk we thought they were more like guidelines you know suggestions for the particularly cautious the the silence that followed was broken only by the soft wor of medical drones retrieving yet another fainted counselor guidelines zix's voice had gone so high only dogs could hear it now guidelines well yeah Sarah scratched her head I mean come on 3 hours of safety briefings just to use a coffee maker we figured you guys were just really really into paperwork the peacock jellyfish counselor had begun to mol in distress you mean all this time every single violation oh Sarah's eyes widened with sudden understanding oh wow you actually meant for us to asterisk follow asterisk all those rules like for real the collective groan that Rose from the assembly suggested that yes yes they had huh Sarah took another sip of her spicy water watching with Amusement as the nearest safety sensor went into panic mode well this is awkward welcome to space station Darwin Sarah announced cheer to the team of alien safety inspectors where Humanity's finest Minds gather to well mostly to see what happens when you poke things with a stick the station's AI affectionately nicknamed Chuck short for Charles Darwin naturally chimed in through the speakers current count of evolutionary dead ends today 17 though I suspect will break 20 once these gentle beings see the cafeteria the inspection team consisting of three Regulatory Compliance officers from different species clutch their data pads like Shields the leader who resembled an anxious blue giraffe with too many eyes was already hyperventilating into a portable atmosphere adjuster perhaps we should begin with something simple Sarah suggested how about a human figure sailed gracefully overhead through the low gravity Corridor executed a perfect triple flip and landed on the opposite wall before springboarding down the next hallway the observation deck Sarah finished pretending not to notice the display was that was that a human performing unauthorized gravitational manipulations the second inspector a crystallin entity that sparkled with distress waved a sensor frantically oh no Sarah assured them that was completely authorized station directive 47 all personnel must maintain Proficiency in zerog G maneuvering we just happen to interpret proficiency rather broadly current Corridor parkour high score holder DrEmily Wong aged 72 Chuck helpfully supplied though young Jensen from maintenance is catching up quite literally in fact incoming another human zip past them this one using what appeared to be a modified cleaning drone as a makeshift skateboard the youth these days Sarah sighed fondly always innovating the third inspector who had so many tentacles they seem to be mostly tentacle was frantically documenting violations on three data pads simultaneously this this is there are 27 different safety protocols being violated just in this Corridor only 27 Chuck sounded disappointed we must be having an off day they reached the main engineering section where the real fund began the massive Fusion reactor at the heart of the station hummed with power its containment Fields shimmering with patterns that definitely weren't part of the standard specifications is is that are they the giraffe-like inspector's many eyes were all widening in horror are they using the containment field as a light show movie night Sarah explained the engineering crew found out they could use quantum fluctuations to project images we're showing Star Wars later if you'd like to join but the regulations clearly State the crystallin being began oh those old things chief engineer Rodriguez called down from where she was casually adjusting something with a wrench that definitely wasn't regulation we use them to calibrate the reactor's power output turns out if you take every safety protocol and do exactly onethird of what it says you get optimal efficiency current reactor efficiency 147% of theoretical maximum Chuck announced proudly we're thinking of writing a paper on it working title why not an engineering perspective the inspectors huddled together whis in frantically in their native languages Sarah took the opportunity to check her messages on her definitely not approved personal device perhaps the tentacled inspector suggested weekly we should proceed to a less technical area great idea Sarah brightened the cafeteria is just this way Chef Chen no relation is trying out a new Fusion Cuisine menu and I mean Fusion in both a culinary and physics sense as they approach the the cafeteria the environmental sensors began wailing in protest the crystalline inspector actually began to develop cracks is that is that capin in the air the giraffe inspector's atmospheric sensor was flashing red at those concentrations it should be legally classified as a chemical weapon nah Sarah waved dismissively that's just Tuesday's special we call it surface of the Sun Curry really mild stuff compared to Monday's Supernova surprise through the cafeteria window they could see the chef cheerfully adding something to a pot that made the reinforced plas steel spoon begin to smoke slightly I feel compelled to point out Chuck interjected that according to my calculations the current dish violates approximately 52 different Galactic culinary safety regulations three Interstellar weapons treaties and possibly several laws of thermodynamics only three weapons treaties Chef Chen shouted back pass me the ghost peppers I can do better the inspection team was now huddled in a tight group their various appendages shaking the data pads were overflowing with violation reports and the giraffe inspector's eyes had begun to rotate independently in distress oh and fair warning Sarah added cheerfully we're approaching shift change that means the zerog G yoga class will be starting in the main Corridor we found it's a great way to combine exercise with spatial awareness training spatial awareness the crystalline being was definitely developing more cracks now current record holder for the inverted solar salutation DrRodriguez Chuck announced though I still maintain using the reactor's magnetic field for balance should be considered cheating right on Q a group of humans in exercise gear floated past contorting themselves into shapes that made the inspector's various anatomies hurt just looking at them I believe the tentacled inspector announced faintly we have seen enough for one day oh but you haven't even seen the best part Sarah protested we've just installed a new recreational area we call it the gravity well it's like a swimming pool except instead of water we use localized gravitational fluctuations the inspectors fled was it something I said Sarah asked innocently current Terror level of Inspection Team 94. 3% Chuck reported a new station record though I suspect we could have hit 95% if you'd mention the nuclear mini golf course there's always next time Sarah consulted the AI there's always next time I must say Sarah mused flipping through the Thousand page violation report I'm actually impressed I didn't even know you could violate safety protocols in some of these ways especially page 847 that's just creatively unsafe the galactic safety council's emergency session was in its fourth hour the inspection team's report had caused such a stir that they needed three different types of calming Fields just to keep the Chamber from descending into chaos representative Chen High Commissioner zix tals tentacles were now such a violent shade of purple that they'd broken several color coding regulations your species has managed to turn every single safety system on that station into what you call a challenge mode so oh yes Sarah beamed with pride we even have a leaderboard Chuck keeps track of the most Innovative safety violations last week someone managed to turn the emergency evacuation slide into a zerg water park technically they were practicing emergency protocols so a horrified murmur rippled through the assembly do you mean to tell me the peacock jellyfish counselor interjected that the fusion reactor's containment field is being used as a what does this say a cosmic light show disco ball and a tanning booth on Thursdays Sarah added helpfully very efficient really multitasking the crystalline being from the inspection team still showing stress fractures pulled up another page of violations it says here that humans are using class 7even hazardous material storage units as refrigerators well where else are we supposed to keep Rodriguez's hot sauce regular containers just melt but but the inspector's voice voice crackled with disbelief these units are designed to contain radioactive isotopes exactly Sarah nodded enthusiastically though to be fair some of those sauce combinations probably should be classified as radioactive I swear I saw one glowing last week Chuck's voice suddenly came through Sarah's Communicator loud enough for everyone to hear attention station Darwin congratulations to maintenance crew B for achieving the who needs grow gravity achievement time and inverted gravity while replacing ceiling panels 47 minutes New Station record Sarah quickly muted her C but not before several council members had to be treated for shock perhaps zix suggested desperately we should discuss the proper use of safety equipment for instance the standard food preparation protocols require triple redundancy systems just to safely toast bread wait wait Sarah interrupted you're telling me it takes three different Safety Systems just to make toast how do you even eat breakfast before work the morning nutrition preparation period is carefully scheduled to begin 4 hours before 4 hours Sarah couldn't help it she started laughing no wonder you're all so stressed you need a proper breakfast tell you what come by the station tomorrow Chef Chen makes these amazing breakfast burritos sure they violate about 20 different heat containment protocols but more fainting the medical drones were starting to run low on power from overuse this is precisely the problem the peacock jellyfish counselor's plumage was now completely puffed out in distress your species treats deadly serious safety measures as if they were were fun Sarah suggested I mean have you seen our gym those hazmat suits make excellent weights and the emergency pressure doors are perfect for resistance training did you know if you override the safety locks they make great mechanical bulls the inspection report suddenly gained another 50 pages as new violations were hastily added representative Chen zix satal managed through what appeared to be a developing nervous condition your species has turned a state-of-the-art research station into what your records refer to as the Galaxy's most extreme playground and we're very proud of that achievement Sarah agreed we're thinking of making t-shirts I survive station Darwin has a nice ring to it don't you think the chamber erupted into chaos through it all Sarah's Cal crackled again with Chuck's voice station Darwin achievement unlocked maximum bureaucratic distress bonus points awarded for multiple simultaneous diplomatic incidents Sarah grinned they were definitely going to need a bigger violation report I have a proposition High Commissioner zix tall announced their tentacles finally settling into a more controlled stroke pattern one that might resolve this situation Sarah raised an eyebrow after 6 hours of emergency Council sessions three complete nervous breakdowns not counting the fainting and what she was pretty sure was the start of a religious crisis among the more spiritually inclined species this ought to be good we propose a challenge zix tal continued one standard week station Darwin will follow all safety protocols exactly as written no interpretations no creative compliance no what do you call it yoloing yolo is actually an acronym Sarah began helpfully we know what it means the entire Council shouted in unison if you succeed the peacock jellyfish counselor interjected trying to smooth their ruffled plumage we will consider adapting certain regulations to better suit your species unique proclivities and if we fail Sarah asked already mentally calculating how long it would take for the station to descend into complete chaos she gave it about 3 hours additional restrictions zix tall declared including mandatory safety supervisors for all activities including breathing Sarah's calm crackled to life station Darwin emergency poll Chuck announced subject following all safety protocols for one week current voting results 99% favor 1% abstaining due to being unconscious from last night's Quantum chili challenge you're supposed to be a secure Channel Sarah muttered to her C I am secure Chuck replied cheerfully I just choose to share sharing is caring after all also you might want to know that the station crew is already taking bets on how quickly they can turn this into a new extreme sport Sarah pinched the bridge of her nose how many betting pools are there already 17 no 18 engineering just started one on how many safety briefings it'll take before someone tries to use the briefing room's emergency exit as a Slip and Slide current odds are three one on briefing number three the council members were looking at her expectantly Sarah did some quick mental math on one hand this was absolutely doomed to failure on the other hand we accept the words were barely out of her mouth before Chuck's voice echoed through the chamber attention station Darwin new stationwide achievement hunt unlocked operation malicious compliance current objectives follow every single safety protocol to the letter while maintaining maximum chaos within regulatory limits bonus points for making safety inspectors question their life choices that's not what we zix atall began challenge starts immediately Sarah interrupted quickly Chuck send out the complete safety protocols to all station personnel downloading all 57,8 32 safety protocols now Chuck announced also starting new Bing pool on how many people will actually read them versus just looking for loopholes current odds heavily favor the loopholes back on station Darwin the announcement was met with the kind of enthusiasm usually reserved for announcing free beer in the cafeteria did you hear DrRodriguez was practically bouncing off the walls literally thanks to the low gravity section we get to do everything by the book do you know how many hilarious regulations there are about proper screwdriver handling procedures 17 separate protocols Chuck supplied helpfully including one that requires a full environmental impact study before opening any screwdriver resistant packaging the maintenance crew was already planning their week says here we need three different types of safety harnesses just to change a light bulb Jensen grinned flipping through the manual what if we wear all three at once and turn it into a new form of anti-grav a ballet technically within regulations Chuck confirmed though I feel compelled to point out that the resulting appearance would resemble a human-sized cocoon with legs in the cafeteria Chef Chen was cackling over the food preparation protocols listen to this all food items must be tested for potentially harmful effects using no fewer than seven different scanning methods before being cleared for consumption seven do you know what this means means that breakfast will take approximately 4 hours to prepare Sarah suggested having just arrived back at the station no well yes but also science in the kitchen I'm going to need so many new scanners and look at these temperature monitoring requirements I can finally justify that Molecular Gastronomy said I've been wanting current count of new equipment requisition forms 147 in Rising Chuck reported I feel I should note that the forms themselves require safety reviews before they can be submitted for safety equipment Sarah watched as her crew arguably some of the brightest Minds in human space exploration enthusiastically dove into finding the most creatively compliant ways to follow rules that were never meant to be followed quite so thoroughly day Zero Hour one of operation malicious compliance Chuck announced first achievement already unlocked bureaucratic Inception filing safety review forms for safety review forms required to review safety forms how many layers deep are they going Sarah asked fascinated despite herself we're currently at level seven apparently there's a regulation that requires safety reviews of safety review reviewing procedures engineering is treating it like a coding recursion challenge Sarah watched as DrWong the 72-year-old parkour Champion carefully began filing the necessary paperwork to classify her morning Tai Chi routine as preapproved repetitive motion safety training we're going to turn this into an absolute nightmare of compliance aren't we she asked nobody in particular current probability 100% Chuck confirmed cheerfully would you like to place a bet on how many safety inspectors will require therapy after this week current pool is up to 500 credits Sarah grinned this was going to be the most entertaining diplomatic incident in human history put me down for 750 credits on all of them item 1,247 on the mandatory pre-coffee checklist DrRodriguez read aloud her eye twitching slightly verify that all Personnel within a 50m radius have signed the hot beverage proximity waiver and completed their thermal Hazard awareness certification it was 6: a. m.
station Darwin time the entire morning shift was crammed into the cafeteria attending their third hour of coffee machine safety briefings the coffee machine meanwhile sat unused surrounded by holographic warning signs and enough safety tape to mummify a small planet current caffeine withdrawal symptoms critical Chuck announced probability of someone trying to classify coffee as emergency medical supplies to bypass regulations 87% and Rising don't tempt me Sarah muttered staring longingly at the coffee maker how many forms are left only 394 Chef Chen said with frightening enthusiasm though we'll need to redo the first 127 because someone forgot to initial in triplicate using the approved safety certified ink color the collective groan was interrupted by Chuck congratulations station achievement unlocked bureaucracy before breakfast survive 3 hours of safety protocols without caffeine bonus points awarded for only minimal homicidal thoughts I can't feel my arms Jensen complained from within what looked like a cross between a hazmat suit a bomb disposal unit and a small mobile habitat how are we supposed to fix anything wearing all this the engineering crew had discovered that proper protective gear for routine maintenance meant wearing no less than seven layers of safety equipment the resulting outfits made them look like a group of extremely cautious marshmallows according to regulation 7 249b DrRodriguez's voice echoed metallically through her suit's Communication System were not actually allowed to move faster than 0. 3 m/s while fully equipped also we need a spotter team for walking current average time to Traverse one Corridor 47 minutes Chuck reported though the maintenance team has discovered they can use the suit's bulk to Simply roll to their destination technically not prohibited by current regulations station achievement unlocked human hamster ball find Innovative uses for excessive safety gear bonus points for style what what is this a horrified crew member poked at the gray perfectly cubic food item on their plate Galactic standard safe nutrition unit Chef Chen announced with barely contained rage guaranteed to contain exactly 0% potentially hazardous flavors it's been processed sterilized homogenized and sanitized until it's achieved perfect neutrality according to the regul it's the only truly safe food in the Galaxy the cafeteria was filled with the sound of people trying very hard not to remember what real food tasted like but what's it made of someone dared to ask you don't want to know Chef chin said Darkly but it took 16 different safety certifications just to look at the recipe the good news is it's technically classified as both food and construction material station note Chuck interjected three crew members have already submitted proposals to use excess safe nutrition units as radiation shielding technical analysis suggests this would actually work Sarah washed as her crew valiantly attempted to consume their safe lunch how many people have tried to classify hot sauce as Essential Medical Supplies 17 so far Chuck reported though DrWong's argument that spice withdrawal constitutes a medical emergency was impressively creative station achievement unlocked taste bud Purgatory a experience food so safe it circles back around to being dangerous to morale the gym is closed the morning exercise group stood in front of the sealed doors reading the official notice with disbelief according to safety regulation 9384 C Sarah read from her pad standard human exercise routines exceed the maximum allowed gravitational stress tolerances by approximately 847 apparently doing push-ups is classified as extreme gravitational manipulation Inon current number of crew members attempting to reclassify their exercise routines as essential gravitational research 42 Chuck announced special mention to Lieutenant Cooper for their proposal to classify jumping jacks as vertical spatial displacement studies the notice board now included a helpful conversion chart between regular exercise terms and their officially approved scientific classifications running equal sign horizontal momentum research squats equal sign controlled gravitational resistance testing push-ups equal sign personal anti-gravitational Force applications yoga equal sign multi-dimensional spatial orientation studies station achievement unlocked creative reclassification turn prohibited activities into approved scientific research through the power of semantics by the fifth day the station had achieved a state that could could only be described as maliciously compliant chaos the engineering crew had discovered that by following every single safety protocol simultaneously they could create safety equipment combinations that technically qualified a small spacecraft they were now conducting maintenance while technically classifying themselves as external Vehicles the science department had reclassified their entire lab as a safety protocol testing facility allowing them to conduct experiments on the safety protocols themselves they were currently on page 436 of their report titled an analysis of the psychological impact of excessive safety measures on human cognitive function or how we learn to stop worrying and love the rules chuck had developed what it called a safety protocol optimization algorithm which automatically generated the maximum possible number of safety forms required for any given activity current record 2,947 forms required to sharpen a pencil status report Sarah requested watching as a group of crew members encased in their regulation compliant safety gear attempted to hold a meeting by slowly rolling their suits around the conference room day five hour 14 Chuck responded current count of safety forms filed 147,148 hours number of crew members who have attempted to classify C coffee as a medical necessity 89 number of new scientific research proposals based on creatively interpreted safety regulations 234 and how many safety inspectors have we broken three have requested early retirement two have developed a new form of anxiety specifically related to human compliance methods and one has started writing a philosophy thesis titled if a safety protocol is followed too perfectly does it stop being safe Sarah nodded thoughtfully watching as the engineering crew attempted to navigate a corridor by forming their safety suits into a conal line you know what the really scary part is what's that we're actually following every single regulation perfectly just not quite in the way they were intended station achievement unlocked perfect imperfection follow all rules exactly while completely missing their Spirit bonus points awarded for maintaining plausible deniability through it all the beding pools continued to grow the safety forms continued to multiply and somewhere in the galactic Council a group of increasingly distressed bureaucrats was beginning to realize exactly what they had Unleashed emergency alert Chuck's voice cut through the station's normal chaos of safety compliant activities Rogue asteroid detected on collision course with civilian transport vessel Morning Light time to impact 47 minutes Sarah was already run running to the command center when she skitted to a halt right safety protocols Chuck how long to implement emergency response procedures according to regulations Computing standard emergency protocols require 12 different committee approvals 47 safety assessments 153 authorization forms in triplicate and a minimum 4-Hour safety briefing before activating Emergency Equipment estimated total time 7. 2 hours the command center erupted in a flurry of activity as people began pulling up trajectory data then remembering the challenge they all slowly sat back down and began filling out the required forms form 62b DrRodriguez read aloud request for permission to request permission to consider emergency actions she looked up at Sarah eye twitching the bloody asteroid will have already hit by the time I finish writing my name in safety approved Inc Sarah watched the holographic display showing the civilian transport's position 300 Souls on board completely unaware of the danger heading their way the asteroid now clearly visible tumbled through space with the kind of casual disregard for safety protocols that would give the council a collective aneurism Chuck Sarah said quietly how many safety violations would it take to save that ship Computing alternative scenarios minimum violations required for successful intervention 2,847 possibly 2848 if we count what DrRodriguez is about to suggest doing with the safety manual Sarah stood up ladies gentlemen and various other beings of station Darwin what do you say we break some rules the cheer that went up probably violated at least 12 noise safety protocols Morning Light this is station Darwin Sarah broadcast making sure to patch through to the galactic Council as well we notice you've got a slight problem headed your way don't worry we're about to demonstrate why humans are classified as a death world species she clicked off the C and grinned at her crew let's show them how Darwin does emergencies Chuck initialize operation screw it with pleasure the AI responded attention all Personnel safety protocols officially suspended let the chaos commence what followed was probably the most spectacular violation of safety regulations in galactic history the engineering crew finally freed from their safety marshmallow suits repurposed the station's Fusion reactor into what they called a gravity slingshot violating approximately 500 regulations in the process the maintenance team led by Jensen converted their safety harnesses into makeshift grappling equipment using them to Anchor themselves as they reconfigured the station's external arrays in record time DrWong the 72-year-old parkour Champion demonstrated exactly why humans train in Low Gravity as she literally ran across the station's outer Hall to manually adjust sensors using nothing but mag boots in what she called good old-fashioned human stubbornness Chef Chen for reasons nobody quite understood but everyone appreciated managed to convert the cafeteria food safety sterilization system into an auxiliary power source the safe nutrition units make excellent fuel they shouted gleefully time to asteroid impact Sarah called out watching as her crew worked with the kind of Controlled Chaos that only humans could truly perfect 7 Minutes Chuck reported currently tracking 1,847 safety violations and Counting DrRodriguez just invented three new ones that I don't think even the council had thought of yet Sarah opened a channel to the council hey folks you might want to watch this Chuck initiate Darwin special the station hum with power as every system was pushed well beyond its safety limits the improvised gravity slingshot engaged creating a controlled field that caught the asteroid and with Precision that would have been beautiful if it wasn't so terrifyingly unsafe redirected it away from the civilian transport the asteroid sailed harmlessly past the Morning Light its course altered just enough to miss both ship and station as an added bonus its new trajectory would eventually send it into the sun or as Rodriguez put it Nature's incinerator station Darwin to Galactic Council Sarah broadcasts unable to keep the smugness out of her voice I believe this concludes our demonstration of why some rules are made to be broken also we may need a new safety manual this one appears to have spontaneously combusted from sheer indignation the emergency session of the galactic Council was unusually quiet this might have had something to do with the fact that half the members were still trying trying to process what they'd witnessed while the other half were busy having existential crises about the nature of safety itself High Commissioner zix's tentacles had gone completely still a sure sign of severe bureaucratic shock you you violated 20847 safety protocols 2,848 Sarah corrected cheerfully we counted Rodriguez's creative use of the safety manual as a separate violation and yet the peacock jellyfish counselor continued plumage twitching not only did you prevent a catastrophic Collision but you did so with zero casualties minimal property damage and they check their notes in disbelief while maintaining station efficiency at 147% 148% actually Chuck chimed in through Sarah's come the emergency got everyone so excited they actually performed better also we discovered that safety harnesses make excellent bu bungey chords when properly repurposed the council chambers erupted in overlapping conversations most of which seemed to involve various species trying to reconcile their fundamental understanding of the universe with what they just witnessed finally zix satal spoke again we have reached a decision humanity is hereby reclassified as a Controlled Chaos species first time controlled and Chaos have been used to describe humans in the same sentence Sarah mused for thore the counselor continued we acknowledge that perhaps some flexibility and safety protocols might be warranted for your species does this mean we can keep the gravity slingshot Rodriguez's voice came hopefully through the Cal we've already written a paper about it working title how to Yeet an asteroid a scientific analysis Sarah tried not to laugh at the council's collective winse at the word yeet I believe what my colleague means is we've developed alternative safety approaches that while unconventional have proven effective just zix tall's tentacles had developed a slight Tremor please submit some form of safety guidelines for our records 3 days later Sarah submitted the new human safety manual to the council it was onepage long human safety protocols version 1.
