which gender is more likely to cheat on their partner uh men or women do you think probably depends because i have known couples that are both cheating and but probably males yeah yeah and what makes you think that so you've been cheated on and you've been dumped and this is a horrible horrible situation you feel the pain of loss you feel embarrassment humiliation even some anger she strung you along for months making you feel as though the relationship was fine when in truth she had other guys on the side she has wronged you and it
feels as though there would be nothing more satisfying than to tell her to her face what you really think of her to really give expression to the anger that you're feeling to give her your full judgment your full moral condemnation i know that that's tempting but do not do it stay silent don't say a word to her keep all of your thoughts and your feelings to yourself believe me when i say that there is tremendous power in your silence now lots of guys mistakenly believe that silence is weakness here she is she's just committed this
horrible wrong against you and what you're not going to say anything the worst punishment that she gets is silence but let me explain to you why silence is not only the more practical approach but it's actually more powerful than anything you could say firstly it is a clear demonstration that you are above her that you have moved beyond her when you're in a relationship yes she gets to know your thoughts she gets to know your feelings you share all of that openly with her but that is a privilege that she gets by being in a
committed relationship with you but she has broken that bond and so she has therefore lost that privilege she is no longer entitled to know your thoughts and feelings losing that privilege will infuriate her and she's likely to act like a spoiled child who suddenly lost her privileges she wants to know what you're thinking and it makes her so angry that you're withholding that information from her she may try and insult you she might try and start a fight or an argument because she wants to emotionally rile you up so that you let loose some of
that information that she's seeking do not give it to her do not explain yourself that is a waste of your time now the reason that she wants to know what you're thinking is because she's looking to alleviate her own guilt and she wants to know specifically what your thoughts are so that she can mount a defense she wants to argue against something specific and so here she is she's been caught cheating and her body is racked with anxiety and uncertainty and it's desperate to try and reassert some control over the situation once she finds out
exactly what you know exactly what your thoughts and feelings are that's when she can begin to address those points specifically and thereby reasserting some control do not give her that opportunity why would you give her something specific so that she can argue against that's just a favor you're doing for her you don't owe her anything stay silent the beauty of this is that when you don't say anything when you stay silent she has to imagine what it is that you're thinking and her mind will immediately go to the worst case scenario he thinks this about
me he believes this about me he knows all of this about me he must see what a terrible terrible person i am this is how it works when you are silent she will project the very worst thoughts that she has about herself onto you and believe that you're thinking them it is the cleanest punishment that you could possibly hope for to allow her to just stew in the juice of her own moral decay but in order for that to happen you have to stay silent because if you start speaking and you provide her with something
specific that just gives her something to argue against and you you throw her a lifeline you allow her to escape her own moral judgment do not give her that escape don't let her externalize this issue let her come face to face with her own conscience now while she's coming to grips with her own moral failures and having to face what a horrible person she is this gives you a fantastic opportunity to reassert to yourself that the only judgment that really matters in life is your own how your life unfolds and how you're treated by the
people around you is completely up to you now after catching a woman who's cheated on you a lot of men mistakenly believe that by arguing with her by telling her off and by pointing out all the horrible things that she's done that they're somehow being masculine and asserting control over the situation that's what they tell themselves but in most cases they're actually deluded in reality what's happening is they are trying to convince the woman that what she's done is wrong think back on your own life and ask yourself have i ever said something like this
to a woman don't you see how terrible your actions were don't you think that what you did was wrong don't you feel as though you have wronged me in some way now i understand that there is some subtlety to this but i'm hoping that you're able to hear that in those sentences they're not actually pronouncing moral judgments or condemnations they're actually please in truth what you're really doing is begging her to validate your victimhood you think that you're making a strong argument but the subtext of what you're communicating is that yes i believe that what
you did was wrong but i'm not entirely convinced i'm not 100 sure and i need to convince you and get you to agree with me that what you did was wrong before i give myself permission to completely believe it the point that i'm trying to make is that you don't need anybody else's permission to pronounce moral judgment who cares whether or not she agrees that what she did was wrong why do you need her approval she's the one who wronged you she's the one who committed adultery and cheated on you and betrayed your trust in
such a horrible way by doing such a heinous act she is automatically disqualified herself as somebody who has any moral character and therefore her opinion should be completely disregarded she thinks that what she did was wrong she thinks that what she did wasn't wrong who cares she's the cheater and she's proven herself to be morally bankrupt and therefore her opinion means nothing every single moment that you spend arguing with her begging her to validate your victimhood is a moment that she gains in power and you lose in self-esteem if you get cheated on and it
hurts and you're feeling frustration and anger and betrayal i understand all of those emotions they're completely normal and justified but keep them to yourself do not share them with her she is not entitled to know what you're thinking and it is not your responsibility to ease her suffering take this opportunity to demonstrate to yourself that you have moved beyond caring what her opinion is you will keep your own counsel your own company you know what she did was wrong doesn't matter what she thinks i know that there's a desire for revenge you want to punish
the person who has wronged you but i'm telling you if you give her something specific to argue against and you start blaming her attacking her she'll convince herself that she's the victim she will become defensive and then she will start to argue against that those are not the emotions that you want her to be feeling you don't want her to feel like a victim like she's the one under attack she's the one who did something wrong all you need to do is withdraw don't give her anything allow her to just come face to face with
her own moral bankruptcy now at some point in the future i would recommend actually reaching out and speaking to an ex-girlfriend in a relationship that ended like this not for her sake for yours this is just for data collection because it's important to know what the hell happened why did she cheat on you were there signs that you missed was there something that you could have done in the relationship that prevented this was there some character flaw in her that was obvious from the beginning but for some reason you didn't pick up on that is
important information for you to know and so even though it sucks that you have to speak to her again i actually think that the data collection is that important those who do not learn from the mistakes of history are guaranteed to repeat them and remember that pain that you're feeling right now because you got cheated on you don't want to feel that again in the future and doing your due diligence and checking in how did this happen and how did i not see this coming that's important for you to figure out to make sure that
you don't make the same mistakes again in the future with a different girl give it a few months let the pain subside but eventually i would reach out speak to this person just to gather up all of the relevant information even during that process i would largely stay silent ask the questions that you need to ask and then get out of there i understand that the advice in this video might seem counter-intuitive when you feel victimized you feel like you've lost control there's a strong desire to speak and to speak powerfully to try and reassert
that control so let me just say give it a trial just try it once perhaps you've already had this experience and you know that there's a certain amount of power that comes from just staying silent and letting people confront their own demons i sincerely believe that this is the more masculine approach to take in a situation like this no need to condemn no need to justify no need to speak just stay silent how do you communicate your needs in a relationship without coming across as needy you want somebody to listen to you to spend time
with you to be affectionate with you you want your bedroom needs taken care of you have all of these things that you want from a woman but you're frightened to express them because you don't want to come across as needy so what do you do this is the topic of my latest video and in this video i give the number one guaranteed way to make sure that you don't come across as needy so that you're able to get exactly what you want from a woman but in a way that seems masculine and powerful this video
is available on my patreon as an exclusive video right now for every single video i post on youtube i post an additional bonus video on patreon that means that at the moment you're only seeing half of my content if you'd like to see the other half it's just five dollars a month it's a fantastic way to support the channel i really hope to see you over there at my patreon community i think people move on too fast right now because they they're not really into relationships right now
