I Left My Wife With Nothing After Discovering She Called Me A Simp And Got Pregnant By Him.

I left my wife with nothing after discovering she called me a s and got pregnant by him I'm 33 years old and my wife is 27 we tied the KN 6 months ago after a year of dating we initially met online and after a few dates we decided to commit to a serious relationship which swiftly led to marriage I consider myself a bit of a nerd so when an attractive girl who told me she loved me expressed interest I was completely enamored I would have done anything for her and she knew it I have a

demanding job since I own a small business which requires frequent travel during the week I'm rarely at home before taxes I was making 150,000 a year and she wasn't employed essentially she depended on me entirely for her livelihood she's somewhat lazy but I didn't think much of it because I allowed it to happen she was never one to engage in household chores cooking or cleaning so the lack of it didn't strike me as unusual a few months into our marriage my wife dropped the bombshell that she was pregnant unfortunately I was out of town at

the time so I had to drop everything and rush back home the following day I took her to a clinic that confirmed she was 2 months pregnant a week later I came home from the office to retrieve something for a job I was about to undertake I noticed my wife's car in the garage indicating she was at home as I opened the door I heard noises emanating from the bedroom and I followed the escalating sounds before reaching the bedroom I already had a sinking feeling about what was happening to make matters worse they left the

door wide open so I walked in to find her engaging in an intimate act with another man the first words out of her mouth mouth were that it wasn't what it appeared to be keep in mind that she was 2 months pregnant at the time I couldn't put into words how I felt watching her with another man in our own bedroom I had been mentally preparing to become a father and had built my world around her making every effort to ensure her Comfort yet there she was being unfaithful in our bedroom that moment revealed her

true nature they both stared at me in shock as I turned away and left the room she tried to convince me that I hadn't seen what I clearly witnessed as if I were a gullible fool I regained my composure and quickly retrieved what I needed before leaving before departing I made it clear that she should be gone by the time I returned on the drive back to work I was a wreck my thoughts were scattered and I was fortunate not to have had an accident I couldn't help but think about all the times she professed

her love for me now realizing it was all a facade I had no inkling of her deceit partly because my job kept me away during the week she had played her part so convincingly that I never suspected a thing she intended to have me support her throughout her pregnancy and then raise another man's child my wife bombarded me with calls and left voicemails but I chose not to answer upon reaching the office I called a friend who waited for about 2 hours before going to my place my friend informed me that she had left taking

essential belongings with her following that I went to Home Depot and changed all the locks on the house I later discovered that she was staying with her family so I contacted my lawyer and served her with divorce papers my lawyer emphasized Iz the importance of keeping silent he advised me not to take calls from her family or friends and if I did speak to mutual friends to be polite but refrained from discussing the divorce he insisted that he should handle any related conversations on my behalf he was right and while I didn't have any desire

to instigate anything it was wise advice to prevent potential complications or provocations we coordinated through text messages for her to retrieve her remaining belongings during the following weekend my friend acted as my representative while she collected the rest of her things in response she retaliated by hiring a divorce lawyer and requesting $2,000 per month in alimony for 5 years she argued that the pregnancy was mine and that she needed financial support she also wanted to remain on my health insurance which I found unreasonable despite her alimony demands I chose not to react with anger it's

a good thing it went through my attorney first as he informed me that although she may have expected certain things it wasn't going to happen while I didn't mind sharing assets IR ired during our marriage my primary goal was to have her out of my life however I wasn't willing to reward her with monthly payments for 5 years for her misbehavior continue covering her health insurance and raise a child that clearly wasn't mine no way she could seek support from the guys she had been involved with when I discussed with my attorney how to navigate

around the alimony and other obligations I wasn't eager to fulfill we considered her lack of employment I was earning $150,000 a year before taxes and she depended entirely on me for her financial well-being our ultimate goal was to have the alimony completely eliminated which we managed to achieve however his concern was that if we couldn't get it eliminated we should aim to significantly reduce it due to her actions even though it wasn't explicitly written we could support our case with statistical evidence he pointed out that in many cases the courts tend to favor women and

there was a risk that her attorney might try to portray me as an enabler and shift blame on to me for her infidelity it didn't take into account that I had been working this job for over 3 years and we had been together for almost a year before the cheating occurred the only minor difference might have been that I worked an hour or so less during that period but it still amounted to a significant workload typically 60 to 80 hours a week it's even more now 6 plus years later if I hadn't caught her she

might have become even more dependent on me today that's why my attorney advised a strong approach which in hindsight might have been Overkill however I trusted his expertise given his experience in such matters he wasn't infallible himself so he understood the situation well my attorney was searching for evidence of my wife's infidelity to strengthen my case in the divorce proceedings he suggested that I hire a private investigator to gather more evidence that could be used in court my attorney arranged for the investigator to work on my behalf although I paid the investigator directly to say

that he did an excellent job would be an understatement he performed exceptionally well I hope I never have to face him on the opposing side in such a situation I should note that he also checked up on me not as extensively as he did on her but just to ensure for the attorney's sake that I wasn't contributing to the issues otherwise I might have been financially supporting her for a few years typically around five but it could even continue until she remarried although these days that's quite rare I suppose having a job like mine doesn't

help not long after hiring the private investigator he captured evidence of her spending time with the same guy I had caught her with in said I made a mistake by not canceling my credit card to which she had access consequently she went out with her lover that evening and racked up a bill of about $5,000 these weren't high limit cards I had obtained them mainly to improve my credit score and since I had been on a cash only basis for a while I had forgotten about them a month later the private investigator uncovered that she

had been cheating throughout our marriage and even before that he identified two guys she had been involved with but had subsequently ended things with both of them agreed to provide affidavits to my attorney Additionally the private investigator collected a significant amount of photographic evidence based on the testimonies of the affair Partners we realized that my demanding 60 to 80 hour work weeks played right into her plans she avoided infidelity on the weekends and her boyfriend was well aware of it her actions were carefully calculated when the private investigator spoke with the two individuals who had

gotten fed up enough to provide statements they were quite candid about it they emphasized that you didn't reach out to her unless she initiated contact and so on the private investigator was the key to my salvation he managed to track down people she had previously dated and two of them were angry enough to sign affidavit stating that she had cheated on me and knowingly taken steps to keep me in the dark I believe alimony can be justifiable in certain situations such as when one spouse significantly out earns the other or when one spouse has been

out of the workforce for an extended period due to the marriage in such cases re-entering the job market can be challenging due to Extended gaps in employment making financial support reasonable for the duration of the marriage however in my case she was the one who cheated and I wasn't about to reward her for her deceitful behavior that led to our separation the private investigator took pictures of her spending time with various men mostly as evidence of her behavior while not strictly necessary they were part of the process by speaking with some of these men he

traced back to two individuals who felt scorned by her because she had ended their relationships these two played a crucial role in influencing the judge's decision they not only confirmed that they had been involved with her while we were married one had even been with her before our wedding but they also attested to her deception tactics such as not calling during weekends when I was home never coming to the house and insisting that I not call her until she contacted me among other things roughly a month after I asked her to leave the private investigator

discovered that she had gone to a club and was spending time with about 10 men in a back room this would have been around 3 months in her her pregnancy I had zero contact with her from the moment I caught her until our court date although I did receive calls from my family I should mention that her calls kept coming and about a month after the divorce was finalized and she lost my ex-father-in-law reached out he accused me of ruining his daughter's life and I allowed him to vent before offering to have my attorney send

him a copy of the data collected by the private investigator she of course painted me as the one who had been unfaithful even claiming that I was the one she had caught in bed with one of her female friends he reluctantly agreed my lawyer reviewed the data with the names of the men withheld and he called me back about 2 weeks later he apologized for yelling at me and all contact from her family finally ceased in essence it was the private investigator who uncovered everything through his research while the attorney organized the evidence for the

legal proceedings according to my attorney at the time the court typically tends to favor women especially in cases involving children which I couldn't have so I consider myself fortunate to have avoided a more complex situation however my lawyer cautioned that we needed to provide irrefutable proof that she was the cause of our divorce to reduce or eliminate the financial obligations with the assistance of the private investigator and a few individuals she had angered along the way we were able to do just that I still crack lawyer jokes from time to time but honestly they are

worth every penny and then some as for private investigators I'll never make fun of the really good ones he uncovered information I had never been aware of during the divorce I didn't seek reimbursement for her running up my credit cards I was earning a good income around $150,000 before taxes at the time which has since increased to $250,000 before taxes a year I decided to pay off those credit card charges and considered it a costly mistake since I hadn't canceled them making me legally responsible for the expenses pursuing her for the money would have been

futile I wouldn't have recovered anything essentially I just wanted to put it all behind me that's why I allowed her to take her belongings most of the items we acquired together as well as the gifts I had given her I wanted her out of my life and the reminders of our marriage out of my house among other things the only thing I absolutely didn't want to do was pay her $2,000 a month for approximately 5 years which my attorney said was the typical outcome I also didn't want any involvement with her unborn child I felt

it would be an insult to me and a way of rewarding and condoning her behavior essentially funding it further for the duration of the payments as for the other costs I was willing to Bear them in exchange for a swift resolution and her removal from my life I believe she was playing some sort of game and I considered this expense a means to ensure that I met the required time frame at the time of the divorce it took 6 months and one day to complete the entire process in California now it's something like 6 weeks

if there's no contest surprisingly my divorce was emotionally taxing and I don't share this to seek sympathy instead I hope that my story might help someone else learn from it or recognize signs that I missed looking back I sometimes wonder if there were subtle hints I didn't pick up on due to my blindness at the time I still analyze the situation but I didn't want to engage in a drawn out battle in total the attorney's fees amounted to about $112,000 roughly equivalent to 6 months worth of alimony payments the attorney informed me that I would

likely have to make monthly payments to her for about 5 years so I saved a substantial amount of money on that for sure it could have potentially extended even longer depending on the judge's decision she didn't end up receiving the $2,000 per month once the judge heard all the details during the final divorce hearing since the divorce was finalized I haven't encountered her again but I'm aware that she's in Arizona because she attempted to apply for credit in my name there three times I can't be certain if she chose to proceed with the pregnancy but

I'm highly confident that the child wasn't mine it's likely that she was trying to deceive me into raising another man's child I acknowledge that I was manipulated and I take responsibility for my part in it every day she has to live with the consequences of her actions which likely makes it more difficult for her even though she doesn't know me anymore she may be aware that she had a good at one point but her actions led to her downfall meanwhile I continued to make progress steadily growing the business I partly owned and increasing my income

as well she might still be in touch with some of our mutual friends but I don't inquire about it yes she caused me emotional pain and she attempted to gain money as a form of compensation however she didn't succeed and I'm carrying on with my life to me living with the consequences of her actions is a more significant punishment than death death would be too easy in Escape for someone like her many people believe I should have reacted differently when I caught them in my bed instead of walking away from my house I understand where

they're coming from and believe me I considered it however upon reflection I realized that leaving was the best choice to avoid a physical altercation or worse I could have easily escalated the situation I readily admit that I was deceived the more I look back on it the more I suspect that she never truly loved me I was merely a means to an end for her I accepted my part in it as I provided her with the perfect opportunity I was rarely home during the week and when I did return I was exhausted and eager to

rest because another work day awaited me she just needed to ensure she was home before me and asleep when I arrived since I'm someone who values transparency she always knew my schedule I was indeed played and I played right into her hands I'm just grateful that the STD test I took 2 days after catching her came back negative update there is one question that some of you may have about the child she was pregnant with I'm ashamed to admit it but she was planning on passing it off as mine I didn't sign the birth certificate

and I didn't even make her take a DNA test after the divorce the truth emerged once the baby was born and it turned out to be Asian not a surprise I had been expecting she had some elaborate story about the baby being of Asian descent because of her grandmother's Heritage and she insisted that it was mine but the reality is that she was sleeping around so there's no telling who the real father is it's a messed up situation and I'm just glad I got out of it without being on the hook for child support as

for the baby I heard through the grape find that she ended up giving it up for adoption it's a sad situation all around and I can't imagine what the kid will go through when they inevitably find out about their parents deception as for me I'm doing okay all right that was a fun story now let's move on to another exciting one stay tuned and let's Dive In my wife and I were just 6 weeks away from celebrating our 25th anniversary when I discovered that she had been involved in a multi-year affair with a 33-year-old bartender

from New York City I'll refer to my soon Tobe ex-wife as Maddie she's 48 and I'm 49 and we have one adult child our 24-year-old son I had always assumed that we had a wonderful marriage and I considered Maddie my best friend someone I could trust with my life we got along exceptionally well and never had any major arguments of course we had minor disagreements along the way but we always managed to work through them and we never went to bed angry our connection in the bedroom was particularly strong because we were both very adventurous

and had very high libidos we enjoyed trying new things and kept our relationship exciting by going on dates taking romantic vacations and making sure to have fun in the bedroom surprisingly we even engaged in Intimate activities in unconventional places like a car or the outdoors whenever we had the chance it may sound immature to some but but it reflected how much we cherished each other I was genuinely happy in our marriage and believed that Maddie was too now let me explain how I discovered the affair did I stumble upon a suggestive email or text exchange

between her and her lover no did I catch them in the ACT no I actually found out through the ex-girlfriend of her lover whom I'll refer to as Sarah Sarah contacted me on LinkedIn and sent me a message asking if we could talk when we spoke I initially couldn't comprehend the information she was sharing and I thought it might be some sort of prank that Maddie was playing on me my world was shattered when Sarah sent me a series of pictures and a video showing Maddie engaged in Intimate acts with another man it was a

painful reality that I couldn't escape witnessing Maddie involved in such intimate moments with a stranger deeply wounded me and I doubt I'll ever be able to erase those haunting images from my mind forgiveness seems impossible to me now in my eyes Maddie has committed the gravest Betrayal of our marriage and I can't see a way to recover from it now let me provide some context on how this affair unfolded Maddy's corporate office is located in New York City and she travels there a couple of times a year for work meetings these meetings typically take place

during the early part of the week so her usual routine involves flying out on Sunday afternoon and returning on Tuesday evening this pattern has been consistent throughout her tenure with the company during her trips to NYC Mattie always stays at one of the hotels within walking distance of her office it was at one of these hotels where she met her younger lover a a man 15 years her Junior who worked as a bartender according to Sarah the former girlfriend of Mattie's lover they had an instant connection and spontaneously hooked up one night 3 years ago

following that initial encounter they continued their rendevu by annually for two more years until the affair ended last year according to Sarah's account Mattie's lover claimed that they were only together on five occasions and all of these encounters took place on Sunday evenings in Maddy's hotel room he insisted that they never shared a kiss and he always used protection however I find it difficult to believe his claims Sarah mentioned that she discovered the affair 6 months after it had ended when she stumbled upon explicit messages and pictures on his old smartphone she confronted him and

he admitted to the affair leading to Sarah kicking him out of her life unable to afford his own place in Manhattan he had no choice but to quit his bartending job and move back to Long Island I asked Sarah why she took so long to reach out to me she explained that she hadn't initially planned to tell me but her new boyfriend who had EXP experienced infidelity himself and strongly despised cheaters convinced her to do so he insisted that she had to inform me and that's why she finally did I inquired if she knew why

the affair had ended according to her Maddie eventually ended it because she confessed her love for me it was a confusing revelation after absorbing all this information I took some time to grieve and figure out my next steps after careful consideration I've made the decision to divorce Maddie although I still have love for her I can never trust her again and the image of her with that bartender will always haunt me furthermore I've chosen not to confront her directly instead I plan to catch her off guard by serving her with divorce papers I don't want

to give her the opportunity to explain herself or hear her excuses and apologies I aim to make the day she receives those papers so emotionally charged that she'll feel worse than I did when I discovered her Affair it's my way of seeking revenge for her betrayal in the meantime I'll pretend everything is normal and act exceptionally kind my own experience serves as proof that this kind of situation can happen to anyone even after 27 years of marriage I never imagined I'd be one of those individuals sharing their personal stories with the world but here I

am my parting advice for married men out there is never to become too complacent in your marriage and to stay vigilant stay alert at all times my friends once the divorce papers are prepared I intend to relocate my belongings to storage and arrange to have her served with the papers at her workplace when she reaches out to me I'll inform her that I've been aware of everything for weeks and provide evidence by sending her one of the explicit pictures that Sarah shared with me each time she attempts to contact me again I'll send her another

picture and another after that subsequently I'll inform both our families about my decision to divorce her and the reasons behind it at this moment I am Resolute in my choice and eagerly anticipate the day when I can disrupt her life just as she has disrupted mine first update darn it why is it that things never go as planned the day arrived to serve Maddie and everything seemed to be falling into place I had all my belongings moved out in the morning and in the afternoon a courier delivered the divorce papers to her office serving Maddie

as expected she reacted strongly and immediately called me to which I answered I informed her that I knew all the details about her affair with the bartender her boy toy and that I had initiated divorce proceedings she pleaded with me to allow her to explain but I told her I had already moved out and advised her to consult an attorney then then I ended the call as I had anticipated she started calling me repeatedly and in response I sent her the first photo with each subsequent attempt to contact me I forwarded another picture at that

moment everything was unfolding just as I had planned later that evening I phoned my son and shared the news with him he was taken aback and understandably upset he inquired if there was any chance of reconciling to which I replied no not after what she did I emphasized to himon never stay with a cheater after our conversation I was about to call my parents when my mom contacted me she informed me that Maddie had just left their house where she had been frantically searching for me while at my parents house Maddie confessed everything to them

and revealed that she had been undergoing counseling since ending the affair last year she disclosed that she had been diagnosed with a sex addiction claiming that her infidelity was a result of this mental addiction that made it difficult for her to resist sexual Temptation can you believe this afterward I went to my parents house to have have a conversation with them to my frustration both of them attempted to dissuade me from divorcing Maddie they weren't endorsing her actions but they pointed out that it meant something significant that she had independently terminated the affair and sought

treatment my mom in particular was quite vocal about it and dad also tried to soften my stance I told them that a person should never remain in a relationship with a cheater and I was taken aback and disappointed by their response I expressed my view that labeling her actions as a result of addiction was merely an excuse for her infidelity in my opinion I believe in the saying that if you commit a wrongdoing you must face the consequences the ultimate consequence or penalty for marital infidelity is divorce and that's the path I intend to take

before leaving my parents assured me that they would support whatever decision I made but requested that I take some time to reflect on it I informed them that I had already done so and then left after returning to the apartment I rented I phoned Matty's dad to let him know I was planning to visit and talk he informed me that Maddie had just been there and had confessed everything just as she had done with my parents he expressed his disbelief in the whole addiction claim but suggested that I take some time before making a final

decision we continued our conversation and while I didn't make any promises I agreed to give it some thought I have a close relationship with Matty's parents so going through with a divorce would also mean losing them which would be emotionally challenging that night Maddie attempted to call me multiple times but I chose not to answer on Saturday morning my son called and informed me that his mother had contacted him the previous night and confessed to everything I have to give her credit for that she has taken full responsibility for her actions and has come clean

to our entire family my son expressed his strong disapproval of his mother's actions and offered his full support to me he mentioned that he knows I'll face pressure from his grandparents and assured me that he will stand by whatever decision I make He also mentioned that if his current girlfriend ever did something similar to him he would break up with her immediately so that's the current state of affairs I find myself in a temporary holding pattern unsure of how to proceed although I'm eager to expedite the process of divorcing my wife I'm also concerned about

our families perceiving me negatively if I rush things second update I've gone through all your comments and want to express my gratitude for the advice even if it's from those I may not agree with I want to clarify that I'm still committed to pursuing the divorce but I've decided to meet with my soon to Bex stbx to address some issues so to speak I plan to allocate 60 Minutes for her to speak her mind and that's it my attorney strongly advised against it but if I proceed the meeting will take place at his office and

it will be recorded I proposed an alternative to meet at a neutral location with Witnesses and record the discussion my attorney agreed to this Arrangement but cautioned me to exercise caution in my words and actions as he's seen such meetings go arai for the Betrayed spouse I've scheduled the meeting for next Tuesday at her parents house where my son will accompany me and record the convers ation using his tripod gimbal my son along with my in-laws and my mom will be in the adjacent room during the meeting unfortunately my dad won't be able to attend

due to a doctor's appointment at that time my purpose for meeting with her is primarily to fulfill the expectations of my parents and in-laws I'll provide an update here after my conversation with Maddie third update we had the meeting and it went surprisingly well though it was emotionally challenging for me I allowed her to speak without interruption with the only request being being that she didn't use the sex addiction as an excuse and she agreed not to she began by expressing her love and longing for me admitting that what she did was wrong foolish and

meaningless after her initial statements she looked at me and I simply responded with an okay and a look that implied is there more she went on to explain that she had a Moment of clarity last year after continuing the affair for 2 years and since then she had been undergoing therapy she confessed that she had concealed all this from me because she feared losing me Maddie mentioned that therapy had been beneficial and that her therapists believed she had worked through the underlying issues that led her to cheat I questioned whether her therapist considered this a

temporary fix and she confirmed that it was I followed up by asking her how she would handle a similar situation if another young bartender came into the picture she simply gazed at me and tears welled up in her eyes I reminded her that the Clock Was ticking prompting her to continue she shifted the conversation towards my happiness during our marriage and whether there was anything more she could have done for me I acknowledged that I had been content before the affair but noted that there were fundamental aspects she could have improved namely trustworthiness and loyalty

Maddie insisted that she had been loyal and loved only me I gave her a skeptical glance and burst out laughing in her face she attempted to justify her actions but it didn't go over well she claimed that she only cheated when she was away so she never neglected me she also tried to argue that the absence of kissing and the use of rubbers somehow made a difference it was quite absurd and she seemed to expect me to be impressed I urged her to listen to herself as she sounded utterly ridiculous she clarified that she wasn't

defending her actions just attempting to explain her thought process I questioned why she had done it if she was supposedly happy with our relationship she admitted that she was simply enticed by the idea of a young attractive man being physically interested in her despite my making her feel beautiful she believed she was no longer attractive at at this point 45 minutes had elapsed and I reminded her that she had only 15 minutes left to present her case she proposed that if I gave her another chance we could return to where we were before I reiterated

that it was impossible because I could never trust her and the mental image of her with her boy toy would haunt me every time I looked at her in desperation she suggested the idea of one-sided open relationship she proposed that I could do whatever I pleased with whomever I wished while she would remain faithful to me I swiftly rejected this notion emphasizing izing that I was not like her this brought her to tears and she spent the remaining time pleading for me to take her back I simply allowed her to cry and beg without uttering

a word when the hour was up I got up picked up the gimbal with my son's phone attached and exited the room before departing I had my son use the Dropbox app to send me the video and then I left later that evening Maddie sent me a text thanking me for meeting with her but I chose not to respond now that I've completed that task my plan is to contact my attorney tomorrow morning and and instruct him to expedite the divorce proceedings final update our divorce was officially completed last Wednesday we divided our assets equally

and mattye chose to stay in our family home buying out my share of the equity she claims this decision is rooted in the belief that we might reunite and live together there again someday the divorce process took a heavy emotional and mental toll on me as time passed my determination wavered and I considered reconciling with Maddie on numerous occasions however I knew deep down that doing so would ultimately lead to misy adding to the complexity of the situation during our initial hearing the judge mandated 60 days of counseling for US 60 days she informed our

attorneys that we had to complete these sessions before she would proceed with the case I questioned my attorney about her authority to make such a demand and he informed me that she indeed had the power to do so and there wasn't much we could do to challenge it he advised me against raising strong objections or filing any challenges cautioning that it could potentially work against my favor as the judge might hold it against me thus I endured 16 counseling sessions from my perspective this process was painful and felt feudal Maddie could have made the entire

process more challenging and expensive but she chose not to and I was grateful for that to express my gratitude I took her out to dinner the day after our divorce was finalized and then returned to our house well her house for a night cap during our time together we became physically intimate for the first time in over a year it was a positive experience and I felt content afterward you might wonder how this makes sense for me it meant that I couldn't remain married to her after her infidelity nor could I contemplate living with her

again however that didn't mean I didn't desire her physically because I did and likely always will we both recognize that our future relationship will primarily revolve around physical intimacy somewhat like the connection she had with the bartender she told me she could accept this arrangement for now but expressed her desire for more promising to keep trying while I haven't started dating other women yet it's in my plan and Maddie is aware of this I explained to Maddie that if one of these relationships becomes serious I will end our physical relationship she understood but didn't want

to dwell on it and expressed her commitment to remaining monogamous with me even if I find someone else although I miss the way things used to be I appreciate the new arrangement we have for the first time in a while I feel positive about myself and the future