How many of you. . .
. . .
have a passion for going to the mountains? Anyone who loves traveling to the hills? You?
Where did this “hoo hoo” culture come from in our country? This is not a part of our culture! Has it ever happened in school that someone acted in a square play and went.
. . ho.
. . ho.
. . ho?
Raise your hand and tell me. How? Ma’am, how do you feel when you go to the mountains?
Very nice! Anyone else who wants to share? Sir, you?
Who raised their hand? No. .
. no! You did!
Sir, how do you feel when you go to the hills? It feels good! Mostly.
. . anyone else?
Just one more person? Peace. .
. I mean most people are saying they find peace. It feels good!
It feels peaceful! These people are fake! They will never.
. . this is AI!
I'm telling you the truth. You only enjoy the mountains as long as you're sitting inside the car. The moment you step out, you have to walk!
My friend and I, we live in Gurgaon. We decided. .
. . .
. that the land of Gurgaon is way too flat. So why not go to the mountains for some adventure?
We are going out of Gurgaon in search of adventure—can you believe it? Is Gurgaon lacking in adventure? If I step out after 10 p.
m. , . .
. even I feel like robbing someone! There’s a vibe.
There’s an atmosphere in the air here! You just feel it. When you see someone walking on the other side of the road, .
. . you feel like smashing their head with a stone!
I’ve been mischievous since childhood! I’ve always had a naughty nature. Then people made me understand—it’s a crime!
You can’t do such things frequently! I’m not able to follow my heart anymore! I’ve heard that the local people in the hills.
. . .
. . are very kind at heart, very good people!
We went to the mountains, and people were being rude to us! They were asking for money at the Dharamshala. We said, "Dharamshala?
" They said, "That’s the name of the place, bro—Dharamshala! " The place we reached, the hotel’s name was Hyatt! He was standing there, wrapped in a wet towel.
I said, “Tell me a good place to explore. ” If you ask about places to explore in the mountains, they immediately start talking about treks! Like, “Go on this trek, you’ll go crazy!
” If I’ll go crazy, why would I even go? You come back from there half-naked feeling good! It was fun, man!
Nature is truly a wonderful thing! Just one leaf wrapped around. .
. . .
. and that too on the face! Nature has driven me mad!
We had gone to McLeodganj. And there, the Triund Trek is very famous! You have to go there!
So he said, “Go to the Triund Trek! ” I asked, “What’s the Triund Trek like? ” He opened YouTube and started showing me, “This is the Triund Trek.
You’ll see it when you go! ” I said, “Well, now I’ve already seen it! ” You’re already looking crazy to me!
He said, “Bro, listen to me. . .
It’s my first day today. The manager told me I can’t raise my hand on anyone today. But I have one request.
When you check out tomorrow, don’t just leave. . .
Let’s meet before that! ” Man, I should’ve just knocked him out right there! I said, “You idiot!
Just tell me a proper place to explore! ” He said, “There’s a trek about 8 kilometers from here. Go there.
. . there's a beautiful waterfall flowing.
There’s a lake, it’s lovely, you’ll have a great time! The path is scenic too! ” We both set off!
There were two paths to get there. One easy path, the other — the path of death! We looked into each other’s eyes.
. . And said, “We’re men, after all!
” Why would we choose the easy path? Our brains are stuffed. .
. with straw! We must make full use of that straw!
We are men! We’ll go down this path and get ourselves beaten up! Both brave men started walking.
For the first half hour, when the path was smooth and nice. . .
. . .
our friendship was going great! We were hugging and all — “Bro, if you're here, I’m here too, man! ” The moment we started climbing uphill, irritation started kicking in!
“Bro, tell me one thing — are you stupid or what? ” Why did you bring me here? “Dude, you were the one who said it!
” “So you’ll believe whatever I say? ” “When are you giving back my 5 rupees? !
” I’ll give it to you! Give it now! — “I’ll give it, not right now!
” We were grabbing each other’s collars over there! Then we calmed down a bit and walked further. .
. Suddenly we started hearing these “crack, snap. .
. . .
. pop, crunch” sounds from around us! When we paid attention, we realized it was coming from our own bodies!
Hips that had been jammed for years had finally opened up! Our intestines had tied themselves in knots! Our cholesterol was off the charts!
If someone had done a checkup then, we’d have tested positive for AIDS too! I said. .
. “At this rate, we’re going to become martyrs! ” Let’s do one thing.
. . After every kilometer, let’s take a 4-hour nap!
He said, “Sounds good, O Lord! ” But over there, one kilometer was actually coming every 4 hours! In our brains, there’s this hormone.
. . .
. . called dopamine — it makes you feel happy.
That dopamine just died in agony right there! We didn’t like anything anymore! I really love dogs.
. . But when I saw a dog there, I freaked out!
Thinking it might bite me! He said, “Bro, dogs bite, they don’t sting! ” I replied, “In the mountains, dogs are shapeshifters, bro!
” My brain was making up all kinds of imaginary stories! Finally, we reached our destination. .
. . .
. where they had claimed there’d be a waterfall! There was no waterfall there!
There were just 3-4 little drains flowing from above. . .
. . .
collecting into a pit below! And the people there were running such a scam. .
. They were calling that pit a lake! Imagine turning a pit into a lake!
We came all the way thinking we’d take a nice bath! When we showed up, even the fish popped out. .
. . .
. saying, “You guys go ahead first! ” “You’ve come from far, we live here!
” “There’s only enough water for one person at a time here! ” “Go ahead, bathe. .
. why are you just standing there? ” “If you’ve got guts, go bathe and show us!
” “If your undies get fully soaked, let me know! ” “We’re not starting a family here. .
. water is limited! ” “Useless people just show up from who knows where to bathe!
” I’m a shameless man. . .
. . .
so I went ahead to bathe! The water was weird — my stomach was wet, but my back stayed dry! My friend was still sitting outside.
I said, “Come on bro, join me, have fun! ” He said, “No bro, you enjoy to the fullest! Only you can bathe in such a trashy lake!
” “There’s barely any water here! ” “All the water splashed out because of your weight! ” “You’ve filled up another pit entirely!
” “Now they’ll promote even more tourism…” …saying, ‘We’ve got two lakes now, come, come! ’” In that forest — where there are no animals, no humans. .
. . .
. even there some guy was busy selling Maggi! That guy.
. . Woh jungle mein mil jayenge apko!
. . .
wearing a lungi, was grinding spices deep in the jungle! He’s never even left the forest! He knows he doesn’t have to go anywhere.
. . .
. . because dimwits like us will come to him!
Feeding Maggi to humans by day, and catching deer by night! If you wanna succeed in life — you must eat Maggi! Why do you keep grazing like cows all day!
We said, “Let’s just go back, bro! ” There were two ways to return. .
. “One easy way, and one that leads to death! ” Humans learn from their mistakes.
. . .
. . animals don’t.
Our bodies may have looked human. . .
. . .
but our minds— —were like that of an ox! A man’s brain is basically like an ox’s brain! We were still in that same attitude: “We’re men, bro!
” But this time. . .
. . .
the confidence was kinda low. Still trying to convince ourselves, “Bro, we’re men, right? ” My friend just went, “Ha ha ha ha!
” He was unconscious, remember? He sat up suddenly, like, “We’re men, damn it! ” “We won’t take the easy path!
That’s where the girls go! ” That’s where the girls go! ” “This jungle route right here.
. . .
. . we’ll go through this — with nature poking us from all sides!
” Taking in all the flora and fauna. . .
. . .
and off we went — two brave 'men' on a mission! My friend goes, “Wow. .
. I’m healing with nature! All my life problems — gone!
” I was like, “Bro, how is nature curing your piles though? ! ” I pulled out the map to check.
. . It showed the path was just 45 minutes long.
After walking for 45 minutes straight, I checked again. . .
. . .
now it said 55 minutes to go! What kind of route is this, man? Did we accidentally take the path to salvation?
! Look, I’m an educated man — I don’t believe in ghosts or spirits. .
. . .
. at least not until it gets dark! But the moment it gets dark, you do start to believe in ghosts!
Look, ghosts might be real. . .
or not. But witches — they definitely exist! Because all these spirits and ghosts — they’re all from our own society, man!
Even up there, women are dominating us! Like that one witch yelling at her ghost husband: “Sit down quietly! ” “I’m not crazy, okay?
I’ve been putting nail polish on backward feet for the last half hour! And instead of helping me, you’re showing me attitude? !
GET LOST! ” The human mind is so f***ed up! Just look at the crap we talk during the day.
. . .
. . stuff that makes zero sense!
And as soon as night falls, we start ghost talk automatically! Like, “Even if I get scared sh*tless. .
. my swag won’t die! ” During the day we’re saying stuff like: “Bro.
. . This food reminded me of my mom!
She used to cook horribly too! ” I mean, she loved us a lot — just couldn’t cook to save her life! But at night.
. . .
. . our whole conversation flips into: “Bro, you know what?
There was this witch in my village. . .
Every time my grandpa stepped out. . .
Every time my grandpa stepped out. . .
And she’d call out his name, like ‘Grandpa ji! ’” Thing is. .
. his actual name was Grandpa Ji! And the moment he turned around.
. . she’d vanish!
I mean. . .
is the witch trying to scare him, or is she scared herself? No clue! Forget the witch — tell me more about Grandpa Ji!
Like, what did his face look like, man? ! …whose face is so scary that even the witch is freaking out!
It’s getting darker and darker — the situation is going downhill! The path was supposed to be 45 minutes long. .
. But these two “men” have been stuck for more than 2. 5 hours!
And now the men are feeling cold! Suddenly, my friend starts staring at me! Just staring.
. . continuously.
I said, “Bro… bro… listen to me! ” “I’m committed! ” He goes, “You’re misunderstanding me.
. . …I just want to kiss you!
” I said, “This is not okay! ” He said, “This is friendship! ” I said, “Bro, this is not friendship!
” He said, “We’ve known each other for so many years… …we’re a little comfortable with each other…” I said, “No bro! ” He said, “Just on the surface, man! ” I said, “No dude!
” I mean, I told him I’m committed. . .
…I’m seeing another guy! This was around 4–5 years ago. .
. I had gone to the village — I was gay for a few days! At that time, everyone in my village was gay!
Actually, they weren’t gay. . .
…they had come from the city. They thought LGBT was the name of some course! .
. . a course that helped you land a job faster!
So they opened an institute there: “LGBT C++ Java Python! ” I didn’t know much back then! I honestly didn’t know!
Later, when I moved out. . .
…to big cities like Delhi, Mumbai, Bangalore, Pune. . .
…that’s when I realized. . .
“Ohhh! Guys can marry guys now too! Society has changed!
” So I went back into my closet! So I tried to explain to my friend, “Bro… …I can’t do this. I’m just not into that stuff.
. . .
. . and 800 rupees is way too low!
” Right then, we saw a guy coming towards us on a bike. I was like, “Thank God, someone’s here! We stepped out in the morning like men.
. . .
. . and by night, we were fully vulnerable!
” Just get us out of here somehow! Then my friend started staring at me again! He said, “Bro, tell me one thing — you were just rejecting me a while ago!
But now you're straight up negotiating deals with some random guy! ” I said, “Listen, man. .
. . .
. transactions happen in cash too! Not everywhere supports GPay, okay?
” That man said, “Bro, I would’ve given you guys a lift. . .
. . .
but your conversation has shaken me to my core! ” “So no, I’m not giving you a ride — not even on the back seat! I’m outta here!
” I said, “No problem, bro… …but before you leave, at least tell us — …are we on the right path? We’re heading to McLeodganj, right? ” He said, “McLeodganj is 15 kilometers behind you!
Keep going this way and you’ll end up in Israel! ” I said, “Bro, this much adventure wasn’t part of the plan! ” He said, “Don’t worry, guys.
. . Just keep walking calmly — the jungle is safe!
Sometimes you might see a tiger or bear…” “What? ! There are tigers and bears here?
! ” My friend said, “Bro, I was about to go to the washroom. .
. …but I already went! ” He said, “You guys are overthinking.
. . Just keep talking to each other — the tiger won’t come near you!
” “Bro, what kinda solution is that? Keep talking and the tiger won’t come? ” Like the tiger’s sitting there listening to us!
‘Let them finish — two people are having a chat… …seems like they’re solving some personal stuff… …go ahead, go ahead, finish your talk! ’” Keep talking and the tiger won’t come, huh? !
And if the tiger does come… should we start a conversation with him? Like, “Hey tiger… …bro, your physique is amazing! ” “You got tattoos too?
” “Oh really, that’s natural? I had no idea! ” “I’m from a village — didn’t know much, honestly.
” “And tiger. . .
. . .
did you eat mutton today? ” "Alright then, tiger. .
. I’m leaving now, okay? " “I’m heading out, tiger, I really am!
” “Let go of my thigh, man! ” “You’ve got it clamped between your teeth! ” “You’ve torn through 1.
5 kilos of my mutton! ” “Just let go, and I’ll quietly leave! ” Look, friends, I’m telling you — I’ve got no problem with tigers.
Because the moment a tiger shows up in front of you, you don’t have to do anything! Whatever needs to be done — the tiger will handle it! You don’t need to play the hero everywhere!
Sometimes you just gotta accept death, man! But the good thing about tigers is — They kill quick — as soon as they catch you, it’s over. No delays.
Doesn’t take much time at all. But bears… now that’s another story. I don’t know how much you all know about wildlife.
. . …but bears are not okay!
Bears are not okay! Bears are ill-mannered! Bears are morally corrupt!
Their character is just not right! Bears like to play… okay? …and they have no gender preferences!
Like zero! No he, no she — just “de-dadaam! ” I don’t even know how to explain this to you people!
Even I don’t feel comfortable. . .
. . .
talking about it, but facts are facts! A bear — before killing — beats the crap out of you! And that kind of death.
. . Nobody wants that!
But let me honestly say something about myself — I’m scared only of death! Nothing else really scares me. I don’t care that much about honor and dignity and all that!
If something bad happens — no big deal! All I care about is. .
. I wanna stay alive, that’s it! And I’m not gonna tell anyone about it later!
You’re the one who’s gonna go around sharing your trauma with everyone. . .
. . .
and that’s when you’ll be humiliated. . .
by a bear! “Heh heh… by a bear! ” Your respect is in your hands, bro!
I just wanna stay alive! What happens in the jungle, stays in the jungle! I’ll walk outta there, no shame at all, bear!
It’s all good, bear! You just did what you thought was right, didn’t you? I used to be a nature lover, man!
Turns out. . .
even nature loved me back! Friends, incidents like these are quite common in the forests. And when such things happen, a sense of depression starts to build up in our minds.
We need to come together to overcome this feeling of sadness. That’s why I’ve organized live shows, both in India and abroad. You can find all the details in the description of this video, and also on my Instagram page.
If you liked this video, please share it with as many people as you can, especially with your friends you plan to travel with. Please share it. Follow me on Instagram, stay safe, stay alert, and keep exploring.
