getting the things that you would desire in life whether that is a dream job or a dream partnership all of it is going to require you to be able to effectively communicate your thoughts and desires the psychology of good conversation is actually a lot simpler than we make it but sometimes when we don't fully understand what exactly it is that we're trying to communicate or the essence of good communication we struggle with trying to find our words our thoughts and the energy behind what we actually desire to say so the first tip to having better
communication skills is to realize that you speak how you feel so when we feel more confident in ourselves when we feel more aligned with what we we are saying what we desire to say that energy comes out and how we say it comes out it's no different than when you see a confident person who just seems to know themselves they command the room they're magnetic in the way that they communicate even if they're not exactly talking about things that they fully understand even if they're not the smartest person in the room but they somehow draw
in most of the attention and a lot of times that is going to come down to the confidence that they have and the way that they communicate that confidence with their words their body language and their presence versus someone who is more insecure about themselves and they have more anxiety and the agitation that they feel internally that is what is presented to the worlds when they go to speak and even if they are the most intelligent person and they do have the most credentials if the way that they communicate the energy behind it is so
distorted then what they're trying to say is not going to be heard and who they're trying to connect to will not necessarily know that that's what they desired when we're talking about getting exactly what we desire when we're talking about trying to create the life that we desire whether you call that manifesting whether you call that blessings whether you you're saying you're talking to God or the universe it still requires you to have clear concise communication about what you desire to experience in your reality the next tip is to remember that people want to hear
what you have to say you just have to find them sometimes when we're struggling with our communication skills a lot of times we're practicing those skills on the wrong people when we have toxic people in our lives that desire to be misunderstood to misunderstand you to have more conflict than resolution we can think that our communication skills our ability or our right to say certain things is devalued we we can feel like what we want to say is not something people want to hear that what we desire to share is so common knowledge that no
one's going to listen but the problem is that perspective is actually false your unique signature on this Earth is so important and so potent because you have experienced a certain set of things that no one else has experienced even if it's very similar you have a similar experience with your mother or a similar experience with friends your perspective on that the way that you decided to navigate that space is going to be unique to you when we seek out to intentionally connect with people who truly desire to understand us we are sending out a magnetic
signature into the universe that says that I only align with people who are for my highest good that intentional step will automatically identify people who you should not be around now whether or not you have the courage to remove those people is a completely different scenario however you want to practice purposefully putting yourself around people who are for your highest good now sometimes it may not be that anybody in your physical space is like that it could be in an online setting until it manifests in the physical but it doesn't matter the point is is
you want your your inner being to experience what it feels like to have a positive energetic exchange with someone where the words you have to say are listened to and met with openness honesty and they are received well my next tip is to speak with authority and confidence when you do choose to connect with other people this does not mean you know everything this does not mean that no one else knows what you know at the level that you know it and therefore they are dumb or you're dumb because you don't know that thing that's
still an energy we don't want to be in when we're when we are communicating with confidence and Authority we are saying that the unique perspective that I add to this is of value and even if after I share this piece with you you have a perspective or you add to that I can learn and expand in that moment that's a very different energy than saying I know everything and you shouldn't even be speaking because otherwise you take away from this moment because we're intentionally putting ourselves around people who want to hear what we have to
say who add to the conversation and therefore add to our lives we are also realizing that what we have to say because it's important we can have more confidence in speaking on the things that we are speaking on there is more of a sense of Authority because you are the authority of your life this does not mean you don't believe in God or you don't have a connection with the universe or something bigger than yourself but at the end of the day every game has to be played by its rules and you need to know
the rules you are human and in this space it is you who are is in charge of your life if you don't pay your light bill you cannot say well God didn't want me to pay it today no one is coming to save you okay no one is coming to fix it for you but that doesn't mean that you don't have the confidence and authority to do it yourself this is why we are learning communication skills we are we are recognizing the psychology behind communication skills so we can tap into that energy and show up
more in that Authority and confidence energy so that the things that we desire to see in our life we can bring them into fruition my next tip is to be intentional about your word choice you want to slow down so that your thoughts can fully form because you you can see this right when we're emotionally charged by a situation and we just snap and then we say things that we maybe we didn't want to say it like that maybe that wasn't exactly the energy that we wanted to send or we didn't even want to react
like that we wanted to be calmer because it wasn't that big of a deal you can find that something that bothers you now in 5 minutes 10 minutes in a month a week you know an hour it's really not that big of a deal deal so when we're when we're choosing our words with intention and you practice these meditation or mindfulness exercises anything that helps you slow down and process your energy you can find that some of your thoughts like just because you thought it doesn't mean it's true sometimes you're thinking about words that other
people said to you and you believe them as true you uploaded them to your computer and it became part of your dialogue that you have with yourself when in reality that's not even how you think of yourself that's not how you would connect to yourself so this is also why we want to slow down and be more intentional with our words because we could find that the things we previously would have said right our old self on a different timeline in a different narrative she would have said it like this but because we are transmuting
that energy we are changing with gratitude and elevating to The Next Step this version of ourselves with not even care about that kind of thing so even though you're going to talk to people from your old life from those old narratives and old patterns you're bringing that new sense of confidence in the way that you communicate and therefore you're not as triggered and reacting like you would before so when we use intention what we're actually doing is connecting to the version of ourselves that would say it like this that wouldn't be bothered with that we're
slowing down enough to work out out it's like when you know on a screen where all of these options are coming to you and you're filtering away the ones that don't apply so that you can see what exactly it is that you want to say this is also important when we're thinking about communicating with people that we love right whether this is a partner whether this is your children or you know someone that you desire to have a connection with sometimes what we're thinking we feel what we think we want to see say is not
actually the truth sometimes a situation can happen and you believe that that situation has bothered you but in reality it's the emotions that it triggered it's the thoughts uh the memories the flashbacks of your childhood or a previous relationship where you were harmed right this is why we say don't bring the baggage from the old into the new and in reality what we're saying is that you know when you have a connection with someone and something happens and it triggers these old old thoughts and we're in this different situation but we think they might be
playing us the same way that other person did or we think that something is happening the way that it did before and that's not what's happening this is why we want to slow down and be more intentional because you want to give that other person Grace and therefore ourselves Grace and say is that really what I'm seeing right because you want to remember your eyes are taking in information so that it can be processed by your brain your brain cannot see and it has little files of old situations that you went through and it pulls
the file and says this is how we react in these moments oh yeah this is what we do because that's what our parents taught us but sometimes if you slow down enough you're you're allowing your brain to say we don't have we might have a file on that but I don't want to do it like that anymore so let's create a new file sometimes you're saying I don't have a file for that thing and so therefore uh default I don't know what to do and if you're choosing your words carefully and you're choosing your steps
with intention and you're saying I want to move in the direction of being healthier that means your communication will be healthier so the files that were present before right like my parents yelled at each other they yelled at us uh you just start cursing people out or you shut down you don't talk you need to be seen but not heard those are files we're trying to to rewrite those are things we're trying to shift out of and again the biggest way to shift your life massively to LEAP into the next narrative timeline space that you
want to be in is to do it with gratitude it's to do it with non-judgment and with love because when we're saying to ourselves the way I used to talk to people was not healthy and I want to do it differently there is a space in between your old life your old old way of doing it and your new life and the courage to take the steps will require you to say it is possible to be that person it is okay to be that person even though I'm leaving people behind and they're not okay with
it and they're upset about it it is okay for me to arrive in this new space it is possible it's where we're shifting our Focus it's where we're shifting our energy and communication skills is one of those things right because the first person you're talking to every single day is you whether it's in your mind or out loud whether you've written it down or you're just carrying around this invisible burden it doesn't matter you want to master this skill of communication with yourself because even when you talk to yourself are you saying well that was
stupid you shouldn't have said that how dumb that's how you're going to be communicating with other people that's how you're going to be looking for other people to communicate with you and even when someone is nice to you be when you're the way that you talk to yourself is so negative you won't even believe that they're talking to you you won't believe that it's possible for you right so this is why we want to get real in the Deep of how to speak to ourselves but also how to communicate with intention to other people because
the life that we desire is going to be formed from that Foundation my next tip is to communicate your needs so when you're communicating your needs these this could be very simple right so for myself I do a lot like I will make dinner I will put the table together I will organize lunches for my kids there's a lot of things that I'm doing to run my household and there was a point where I had to realize that it was okay for me to ask for help from the people around me because when we're doing
too much by ourselves we start to develop resentment even if you love all the things that go into being a homemaker even if you just love being that kind of wife that kind of mom you cannot pour from an empty cup and if you're not communicating your needs whether you're a mother or not it doesn't matter if this is a relationship or this is at your job right you cannot be the person who runs all the errands at your at your job you cannot be the person who is always picking up the slack for everybody
else because eventually you'll get burned out and that nice part of you that part of your personality that you desire to give to other people she'll be dry okay you will not have anything left in you to give to other people if you're not first pouring into yourself that means for me having my kids set the table that means my husband getting the drinks that means I'm fixing plates and then someone else is taking them out to the dining table these are little things that help me right send that message back to my subconscious that
I can love my family and do a lot of these things and still get help and the same with you when you're saying you want like a partner who is more loving and romantic right that's your love language you want to communicate your love language you want to also be open to understanding and and allowing someone to communicate their love language sometimes we can be in this place where where we have a desire right um for a partner to look a certain way or do certain things and we have this feeling of like I don't
want toach teach somebody to do these things for me now there are non-negotiables right and there is nothing wrong with having that if you feel like yeah that is just not okay for me and we all have them then there's also ones that should not be so hard and fast where if they don't do this it's done you know because sometimes it's as simple as did you say that that's what you desire now be careful okay you want to use your discernment if you're in a toxic relationship or you have exposure to toxic people this
does not apply because those people are going to literally sit around and Gaslight you into thinking you're just not communicating properly and it's actually them right I've had this before so I'm not talking about that that is a very very very different scenario and you have to use your discernment to recognize where this applies and where it doesn't what I'm talking about is healthy communication healthy relationships okay we are communicating our needs to a partner who is healthy that has the ability to Blossom and Elevate that relationship that connection same thing at a job same
thing with friends if you have friends that are constantly trying to sabotage you communicating your needs to them would be like talking to a wall you're not going to get anywhere but if you have a friend like I personally have a friend of mine that I have um like virtual dates with and I love talking to her right we get on the um the the chat and we just see each other and commun and I love it right that that is so good for my soul if I had a friend who didn't want to do
that but they wanted to do in-person meetings I couldn't do them that often because my life is too busy so even one of my other friends I I um we do voice chats with each other and I love it because it gives me the ability to while I'm working still be able to send her a message of love and kindness and pour into her your needs in your relationships is going to be different depending on the person that you're talking to and when you're open enough to say that your needs can be met in a
multitude of ways and most of the time you want to be meeting a lot of your needs first before you seek out other people to meet your needs because for example there are a lot of girls who just love a romantic partner and I don't think there's anything anything wrong with that um and I was one of those people that thought maybe that's what I desired too but really I found that I like buying myself flowers and that's not even like a my husband can't do it and he you know it has nothing to do
with that I like getting myself flowers what if I didn't realize that that's what I needed for myself and I'm waiting for him to get me flowers you know every week or on Valentine's Day or whatever it is sometimes when you are in a like I consider my marriage healthy I consider it a successful healthy marriage when you get into those spaces you start to realize what's actually important and what's like societal programming of what you should be looking for in a relationship and like for example I saw this um and I'm not going to
call it the Creator because I don't think that there's anything wrong with what she's asking for I just think that we should get it into perspective so she was talking about like a masculine man and how one of the traits that she was looking for okay this is her specifically but she was describing a masculine man in general and she was saying that instead of letting that girl order you know sometimes order for them and I personally like that's I don't need that right like I don't need my husband to be like let me order
for you you know that doesn't get me excited so it depends on you like this is why I say communicate your needs for me when I met my husband the thing that I loved the most was that we laugh together like that I didn't realize how important laughter was in my relationship until one I didn't have it and two in this relationship that's what we do we just I have so much fun with this man and you may not even if you're looking out for society to tell you what you should be looking for in
a relationship or a friendship or in a connection you may have things on your list that don't even apply to who you are and who you desire to be so this is another thing like get clear on what your needs actually are and where they come from are you someone who needs a man who's like hey let me order for you or does that not even come on your radar are you the kind of woman who says I really want a romantic partner and I don't want to have to teach you that I don't want
to have to teach you what it means to be romantic or does that give you the heebie jeebies right for somebody to be so dang romantic that they're in your face 24/7 I don't know it could be and this is the other thing different spaces of your life are going to be different versions of you that are going to require different things right at this stage of my life I want to get myself flowers I like putting flowers together in my vanity area I like seeing them fresh cut flowers it makes me happy I don't
need my man to do that what makes me excited is when my husband and I go on walks together that's something I love that's a way for my husband and I to connect to each other I also love when I order from instacart he is the one who greets the people and collects the bags and brings them inside right he takes out the trash like these are things that maybe are not going to be on somebody else's list of romantic things like you may not find it sexy but these are things that at this stage
of my life I like I like that my husband will see that I have things that I want to do like maybe these videos and he will just take our kids out for lunch or to get ice cream or something or outside to play so I have time to film in peace and quiet which is not always the case right CU sometimes they're in my videos if you've never heard them but that's my point is that your needs are going to be different if you're in your 20s and you're not in a relationship and you
you don't desire to be your needs are going to be autonomy discovering yourself peace of mind right that may not even include a man so you don't want to get into this mode of like seeing what Society has on their Pinterest board of an idealic relationship and that's not even an alignment with you your needs could be that you're finally buying nice things for yourself that you didn't buy before that's another thing like I I'm not really huge on holidays and it's there's nothing against the holidays I just get myself what I want every every
day all year so I don't have a huge emphasis on an extreme you know holiday right but that may be something you want that could be on your list and if you don't have it it doesn't make you feel good I've had and for me I've had people in the past who did that bought me flowers did the dinners and this that and the other but every other day of the year it was trash so I don't have an emphasis on that because my husband and I have a loving relationship where every single day of
the year it's where I want it to be so I don't feel like I need to make up for it on that day now you can I'm not saying that you can't have it every single day and major on the holidays I'm saying if that's what you desire then you need to make sure you're clear on that so that when you're finding whatever it is you want to be in alignment with you can truly be in alignment with it and that brings me to my last point which is you want to connect with your higher
self's level of communication okay your higher self you can call it whatever you need to to connect with it when I say higher self I mean the highest version of me that is calm healthy grounded spiritually mentally emotionally physically exactly who she desires to be and she has no qualms with telling people what exactly she desires that does not mean she's talking to every single person because we can communicate with energy as well but that's what I think of so your higher self you know your desired self whatever you call it that version of you
is going to communicate a certain way she is going to use words when necessary and body language when when other times it's necessary you want to be comfortable enough you want to like be so comfortable in her energy that when you're not in alignment you can feel it okay this is why we say practice getting comfortable with your energy so that when you go around people who are not in alignment and they're not in alignment with you you could be like yep got to go because we don't want to spend a lot of time talking
to people or being out of alignment to the point where we really forget who we are and what we desire back to that last point about communicating your needs does that higher version of you does she want flowers from her partner does she want a job that allows her to have certain breaks work from home like what is it okay uh the house that you have does does your higher self have a house that looks like the current one you have does she have a different style or whatever it is right how does she communicate
those things to herself and to other people I had a job that literally told me I needed to say at least 10 things before I left every single day and that version of me that I was becoming in that environment was depressed she had anxiety she was not happy she felt like she was getting Dumber by the minute okay this version of me is who I like and who I am in alignment with that doesn't mean that the people that were at that old space were trash or I didn't like them or they're not good
people it means that my higher self is not thriving in those environments she's not communicating anything in those environments this version of myself right and this is another thing we want to be clear on is that every stage of our life is going to to require a different version of us and a different way of showing up right which we keep saying and this is not gender specific because as we navigate through life you want to be so comfortable with evolving that it flows that's what's going to create flow in your life when you think
about a river or the ocean how it's moving and it's flowing it doesn't look like the same Ocean or River from one minute to the next because so many ripples of change and movement are going through that and the same with you so when we're saying our higher self desires this maybe in this season of your life that's what it desires and then this season of your life it desires something else and the way that you're like the way I used to communicate before is not how I communicate now and I am comfortable with not
communicating certain things that before I needed to say right I had to get it off my chest I had to communicate them I had to let these people know how I felt I had to let these individuals at my job know now I don't feel the same way there are people who are going to misunderstand you yes but we want to remember that people have things that they're navigating through and going through that has nothing to do with us a lot of times the problems that people have are not at all related to you again
this is programming right that when someone has a problem with you they have a problem only with you but a lot of times you'll find that these people have problems with 99% of the people in their lives and it's because of the way that they either communicate or don't communicate they're intentionally trying to send a message and are you listening so we want to remember that the life that you desire is available to you the clarity that you use to communicate that desire to your subconscious mind to the people around you to God to the
universe whatever it is you're talking to the clarity that we're using is what's going to bring into our now in conversation the ability to communicate is literally The Vessel for our dreams to come to us to be part of our reality now [Music]
