Tony Robbins Lessons in Mastery Part 6 - Psychology audiobook

It doesn't take a genius to see that we're living in turbulent times economically turbulent socially turbulent our future is really unclear for so many people and as a result a lot of us experience pain in our lives and a few of us experience tremendous pleasure the pleasure that comes from being on the cutting edge the pleasure that comes from being in control instead of in reaction the pleasure that comes from Predicting instead of reacting what am i specifically talking about I'm talking about the fact that all of us are always looking for the edge in

life we're looking for something that's going to help us to win to go to the next level to grow to expand to have a competitive advantage in business to really direct our lives and you know what whenever I meet people that are extremely successful I'm always asking that question what is the difference in this Person what makes them so much more effective than other people and as you can guess there isn't any one skill that makes people more effective certainly there is a consistent commitment in these people that constantly and never-ending ly improve their life

but you know what the discipline of cannae constant never-ending improvement is not the only common denominator that I find there is another consistent factor or skill that every one of these winner Seems to share in common what is this first to be a peak performer in business the best at what they do or somebody who really knows how to make their relationship be passionate consistently or someone is a great parent or whether it's a company on the cutting edge I can tell you the common denominator is the ability to consistently anticipate change before it occurs

you know what this skill can take stress out of your life and this skill can make you Incredibly successful it can make you wealthy in financial terms it can make you wealthy in emotional terms it can take away fear the power to anticipate is the power to shape the direction of your life and all those you care about it could be argued that anticipation is the ultimate advantage why because ultimately in your life will be very easy to find the level of your success by one simple ability your ability to solve problems from the most

intense Incredible profound to the most ridiculous and simple this really defines how your life turns out because on a natural without a problem without a challenge everything seems to be fine it's when these problems show up your level of success is how quickly how easily how elegantly can you solve these problems these challenges these things that get in the way of your being able to do what you want the moment you want to do it Now what's the challenge then the challenge is most of us when we get into a problem find ourselves immersed and

we find ourself in reaction to a problem it's happening right now we're trying so that we feel stressed who are the leaders in industry who are the leaders in nations who are the leaders in anything the people who anticipate a problem before it even shows up and they solve it before it even happens that's what the word anticipate means it means To foresee and deal with the advance and I can tell you one thing this skill will give you more joy in your life than almost anything else I can imagine other than learning a manage

your own emotional state and even that requires some anticipation knowing the kinds of environments that might stimulate you go on to allow the estate and dealing in it in advance what you're doing when you're anticipating is you're utilizing the capacity to step beyond the present Moment and utilize the future as your leverage I read an article in Forbes magazine where they were interviewing some of the employees who were asking the new chairman the board of General Electric how he could let them go how come I was good yesterday one man said but I'm not worthwhile

today and he said listen it's not you're not worthwhile he said just got to know something what you're doing is no longer competitive he said you know when roger bannister broke The four-minute mile it was really powerful but today kids in high school run four-minute miles we can't live on yesterday's standards and expect to be the winner today we going to anticipate what are the standards of tomorrow and how do we create those standards right now that's how we win the game of life you watch in sports the power of anticipation in sports is the

difference between somebody's a hall-of-famer in something somebody's a superstar and Somebody is mediocre sees anticipation that makes a Wayne Gretzky when they asked and again I've used this example before you're not the tallest you're not the strongest you're not the fastest how come you're so great how come you're so successful his answer is well I think most people usually skate to where the puck is I skate to where the puck is going you watch a great basketball player and they make the pass they don't pass the weatherperson is you pass the Where the person's going

if you pass to where they are now you're going to miss them the same thing is true in life it's true in relationship is true in business we've got to be able to anticipate where everybody's going around us so we can meet their needs if we meet people needs they're going to feel fulfilled we're going to strengthen our relationships we're going to add more value and we're going to succeed this is one of the Simplest secrets to life and it's one we've got to apply daily and I want to sell you on making this one

of the most highly valued criteria in your life I want to sell you on that this is a skill but this is not just intuition or getting lucky and some people are able I anticipate some people aren't or it's something you can't do because it's too complex in the world changing too fast garbage I want to demystify this process for you Because it is a process anticipating is a process and not anticipating is the result of your own conditioning that's the obvious question I must be coming up your head you say okay don't you all

I there a lot things I can anticipate but I don't so why don't I because you get caught up in patterns we all do don't we patterns of perception in fact there's a word that we hear a lot in business these days is becoming the hot word to talk about it's the word paradigm what Is a paradigm a paradigm is nothing but an accepted way of thinking a way of thinking that everyone seems to accept it goes unquestioned through time in other words it's a shared set of assumptions an example of a paradigm that we

all studies in history with the paradigm that the world is flat every would assume that the world is flat there was no real absolute proof but everyone accepted that way of thinking it wasn't until a paradigm shifter guy Named Columbus came along is willing to test those rules test those barriers and by the way that's another way of describing a paradigm a paradigm is a set of barriers a set of rules about how to interpret the world about what can and cannot happen what will and will not happen now you and I spent some time

in the past talking about belief systems and certainly you might say well how is a paradigm different than a belief well a paradigm is really a system of Evaluating many areas of your life you may utilize many different beliefs in order to make a decision on a consistent basis that may make up your paradigm in other words your paradigm may be made up of many different beliefs now rather than getting all caught up in this word let's simplify it a paradigm is a set of rules a set of assumptions a set of barriers that control

how you perceive your life what you think is possible or impossible which you can and cannot Do what others will or will not do another simple way of looking at paradigms is to think of it in metaphorical terms as if it were a game see we all have games that we played in games our paradigms what is the game there is a goal there are a set of rules of what you can and cannot do in order to achieve that goal in order to achieve that goal what you got to do you got to solve

a series of problems based on the rules of the game well your life you've Got this game called life worked out you may think this game is a game of respect you may think this game is a game of competition you may think this game is a game of being a victim I doubt if the latter example did you probably the former do or something else but the point of the matter is you have an idea what life's about what you can and cannot do what other people can and cannot do and you've got certain

rules and barriers that guide the whole Process and along the way you're going to be solving problems based upon your beliefs your paradigms of how life really is a good example of this metaphorically again would be like playing tennis tennis is a paradigm it's a game with a set of goals there are specific rules of how to do it and it's your ability to solve problems it allows you to win the game of tennis what happens your opponent hits the ball and your court and gives you a certain level Of problem and what you've got

to do is you've got to address it but you got to solve the problem of getting this from your court over there into their court using only the rules of the game of tennis you can't use a baseball bat right you can't catch it with your hand and throw it back over there you got to use those specific rules and they limit the way you play the game don't think just like your paradigms about relationship or your paradigms about Business or your paradigms about yourself control and direct what you are allowing yourself to do to

solve problems or to produce results now what's really neat is if you solve your problem what you do is you deliver your problem to the other side of the court and you give your partner there a problem and then he has to solve this problem of getting the ball out of his side of the court and into yours again using those same rules and what happens Would keep trading problems back and forth until one of us is able to deliver a problem so big does the other person they can't deal with anymore and we win

that what's interesting is this idea can really help you understand the concept a paradigm and I can promise you if you're in the business community you've probably already heard the term or you're about to and the general public as well is going to start reading about it Papers because the rate of change is no longer minor changes like just reinforcements are just a little small improvement overnight industries are disappearing and they're disappearing because they're not anticipating a paradigm shift a wholesale change in the rules of the game if you like we said we're going to

play tennis now and now when you play tennis you catch the ball and you throw it at the other person and if you hit them now you're successful The game of tennis those the kinds of shifts that are happening they're radical and we've seen them in virtually every area of our society from relationships to business to the way we look at our own government the rules of the game for the media have changed the rules of the game for virtually every aspect of society not only have changed but continue to change so rapidly few people

can keep up but in our society you must keep up and let me tie the good News there are only a certain areas of life you have to focus on to really have the edge we're going to discuss a few of these here and by the way if there wasn't this incredible push of change in our society we wouldn't be living in the exciting times we're in you go yeah doesn't feel very exciting to me right now Tony I'm going through some tough times you happy you know what as bad as it feels right now

it's going to push it to another level what do we Really need then to master this principle of anticipation what do we need to do so we can utilize paradigm shifts to our advantage the first thing we've got to do is adopt a new belief system and that belief system is anoleis change inevitable but it is our advantage the status quo is not to your advantage unless you're already on top and have mastered it for decades now if you're one of those people let me tell your advantage you're going to have to Grow which will

make you happy because you're not going to be happy just sitting on top doing nothing but for most people life they're still pursuing a way to become better more successful and if the rules of the game are changing it means guess what you are on an equal playing field with almost anybody else thanks ed well that doesn't feel very good I don't like thinking about everything I've done that works you know may just go out the door Tomorrow nothing will I'm saying it man you got to be prepared for that you can't be thinking because

you're the best at what you do you're always going to be the best at what you do just by making incremental improvements I was reading in Joel Barker's book the history and the decline of the Swiss watch manufacturers I mean back in 1968 when you thought of a Swiss watch what you think of best in the they were the best in fact they Manufactured 65% of all the watches made in the world they had 90% of the profits in the world most people say are they the number one manufacturer today do you go out and

ask for a Swiss watch when you go out there now probably not you know why they control only 10% of the market the Japanese control 35% you know what's interesting was that because they didn't practice kunai now they did as much as I've Promoted kunai to you that is only one principle you got to do more than just constantly improve you got to practice can I at the level of anticipation you got to constantly never-ending ly improve your ability to anticipate major change you've got to be able to innovate not just improve and you know

what these people constantly improve their watches the Swiss are the ones who created the minute hand and then the second hand they develop the best gear system in the World for a watch they created digital technology but when they looked at it they said it doesn't have any gears in it nobody's going to want this so they sold it to the Japanese to a company called Seiko I bet you've heard of them haven't you think about it that's called a paradigm shift where the rules of the game changed overnight the rules of the game change

the barriers change the approach change and you know what there are brand new winners and the people That used to be winners are now losers this is very good news for you because it means if you stay on the cutting edge if you anticipate there's always a way for you to make your fortune there's always a way for you to be at the cutting edge there's always a way to turn your company or your career in a whole new direction but you've got to operate from this principle it says just because it's worked up until

now because it made me successful doesn't mean it Will tomorrow this is so critical I'm sure you read the book in search of excellence right it was a number one bestseller for years and years that book reported on 43 of the best run companies in America but you know something 14 of those 43 were in financial trouble within two years after that book was written and you know what Businessweek this study on him they said they all had one thing in common they all failed to react and respond to Changes that's how they went from

being the model company to the companies that were financial ruin Lam I told Tony I don't run a company I don't know my own company you're not even talking to me yes I am because you know what those companies are nothing but a metaphor for your own life our own society their reflection at the level of change listen back in 1970 a little more than 20 years ago CBS was really having a tough time Making a decision on whether they're gonna put a show on the air or not and re they're really concerned about it

was going really against the values of the day you know what that show was Mary Tyler Moore Mary Tyler Moore Show can you imagine why because she was a divorcee whoo the truth is that's one of the places that values originally gets shifted when mass number of people see a rule change on television and they grow to like that character they very often Will adopt similar changes in their rules I'm not saying it was right I'm not saying it's wrong I'm just saying we have to look at the consequences and know that they're there 20

years ago that was one of the changes that happened and now look what we've got look at the changes in the paradigm what can be said on the radio what's that on television the type and quality of language the type and quality of images are those changing the rules of our Society you better believe it are they changing the rules of what's acceptable and unacceptable you better believe it are those rule changes taking us in the direction we want to go I guess that's everyone's individual decision to make but you got to know that they're

changing and you got to know that those changes that we're seeing happening in society are affecting your personal life they're affecting the person you're sitting across the table with for dinner Or you're hoping to go out with and how they're going to look at a relationship with you they're going to determine the kind of relationship you're going to have with this person 20 years from now because I can virtually guarantee you if nothing is the same as it is today because the roles and the rules are going to continue to change and expand this to

income household that we've adopted right wrong or indifferent that rule change that was a paradigm shift What is it done it's changed the expectations of both parties it's at a tremendous stress on both parties right wrong or indifferent it's changed the structure of how our children are raised and this is changing the direction of society as a whole paradigm shifts are things you must study you must be aware of you cannot afford to say ignorance is bliss No ignorance is poverty ignorance equals unemployment see like you're unemployed because they couldn't see Their own industry coming

then because there's Oh busy just making a living instead of designing a life we've got anticipate I keep saying to see again again and again so Robin you gonna stop it how do I get dissipate good question let me give you five simplistic approaches to help you avoid the trap of being caught up in your own paradigm then we'll be offer you the psychology of how human behavior becomes pattern that is how we create Trends because we all know if we can anticipate certain trends not just follow a trend but anticipate it we can avoid

certain pains in our lives because we're prepared for it and we can also experience pleasure because we can anticipate it and take advantage of the situation now here's the first thing that can help you avoid the trap of being caught up in your own paradigm beware the unquestioned conviction what do I mean By that you know a belief is nothing but a feeling of certainty about what something means so you feel certain your spouse is happy you feel certain your kids are in great shape you feel certain that your job will always be there right

nothing wrong with that but when you get a conviction it means you feel so certain about something and you're so invested in believing in something that you're not willing to take any new input you're not Willing to question even for a moment hey is there any possibility that your current job may not be here five years so now because a radical new technology or a radical new change in the market places desires could wipe it out if you're not willing to look at the possibility that your children may not be as good off as you

think for the moment your ego gets in the way or your conviction that they're perfect gets in the way then you can't create the change As you're committed to you can't improve anything we've got to be aware of these what if you start saying this is the only way you may be right but stop and say what if there was another way what would be or when you start saying something is impossible who I'd be real careful on that one because what was impossible yesterday is probable today that's the pace of change Rand so start

thinking start being aware of your convictions when you start feeling There's only one way to do something break out and at least consider another possibility that'll help you avoid getting caught up in your own trap second make sure you develop a new belief system one you create certainty about and the one thing you can be certain about is that change is certain if you want to get about something be certain the changes coming and then you'll always be anticipating it you won't be reacting to It I remember years ago good friend of mine Bob Hayes

used to tell me I only feel certain about one thing in life and I'm certain that things will change and I thought well what that sense of certainty I guess you're never surprised by any things he said no and he also is one of most balanced people I know change doesn't bother him like it bothers other people for most people it's not the change that bothers them so much it's the fact that they're not Ready for the change they're not anticipating the change it's like a giant pattern rough it smacks them and they're not prepared

for it they don't know how to deal with it the third T is this break your pattern of thinking in a linear fashion this is what keeps you from getting what you want we all get trapped thinking oh tomorrow I don't tomorrow's can be like let me look at today's sky the sky looks really good it's not going to rain Tomorrow sure that does or you know what you know the last two months have been great weather that doesn't mean tomorrow is going to be great weather or today is lousy weather doesn't mean tomorrow's going

to be lousy that's what happens in stock markets people say wow I look at the markets been going up and up and up I better jump on that's not the way to evaluate your thinking in a linear fashion and if people you know what is a Great way to get yourself killed financially I've seen it happen to so many people does this happen emotionally yeah a my relationships been great up until now it's been great the last six years doesn't mean it's going to be great tomorrow if you don't find a way to make it

better you can't assume that the status quo will remain in fact there's anything you can assume it's that it's going to be broken up that something is going to challenge the Status quo if it doesn't change it at least it's going to challenge it and you want to be aware of it so one of the ways you can change your life is don't think in this linear fashion maybe you want to start thinking in a cyclical fashion throughout human history certain things keep coming up just like seasons you know when your middle fall and what

is really nice instantaneously overnight the next day it can be winter and if you don't have a thing called a calendar Which helps you to anticipate this and you're thinking linear the last two or three weeks or months you're going to be taken by surprise and you're gonna be uncomfortable you're going to freeze to death but on the other hand if you thought in a cyclical fashion you'd say things are going really great right now my business things are going really great my relationship right now guess what there will be challenging times that's nothing a

negative thinker Winters do come let me right now figure out what I'm going to do so when winter comes here I can ski when winter comes here I can make it even better so when the challenging times show up in my business I'm prepared this is the thing that most people don't do think cyclically verses linearly think as an innovator think the unthinkable thought and how do you do that go to step 4 ask questions no one else has the courage to ask ask courses No one else is asking about your industry ask yourself questions

about yourself it's so easy to get caught up and not want to look at yourself with a more critical eye but if you were to raise your standards if you were to raise standards for what your business needs to do for your customer if you raise your standards for what do you need to do to make your husband or wife feel more loved than ever before or your significant other depending upon your Current level relationship if you were to raise your standards for what you need to do to make sure your children are really getting

the education they need are really feeling loved the way they need to feel loved are really getting the resources that they need to successfully compete in an ever-changing world unless you're willing to ask those questions you're not going to get new answers the fifth key become a student a possibility become a student of Potentiality don't just allow yourself to get caught up in reading what everybody else in your industry reads or surround yourself with the same kind of people you know something one of my most valuable things that I do in my life that I

love is the fact that Becky and I have such diverse friends I mean one of the times I had a really wonderful dinner at Thanksgiving I'll never forget we brought everybody in they're together they're all sitting down to a hundred People on our house for dinner and we're all looking around the room and some of the people are people like Captain John works in the South Bronx for the Salvation Army and we met him where we went out and fed some people on Thanksgiving one time years ago he's been a friend ever since he's out

there in the trenches turning things around and then when you have somebody else at the table and he was the CEO of one of the major fortune 500 companies then we Had another good friend of mine is a very famous actor and then we had another guy as a comedian and we had a musician there and then we had a few people that thought they were actors and musicians weren't very good right that we're just working at various normal kinds of job doing normal kinds of everyday things but they're really wonderful people as it looked

around the room and saw this diversity of people and I got to you know give our prayer And say thanks I said you know before it's anything else I just want to say I think God has an sense of humor could look at the diversity of kinds of people he creates but you know something has been one most valuable tools in my life because I don't get this here one point of view we enforced over and over and over again I'm hearing so many different points of view and that has helped me immensely to understand

how people think and I have The prove is now working with more than 1/2 million people on seminars and private therapies and business environments all over North America and around the world that diversity is invaluable and you must go get that diversity the fastest way to get it is you can go get it by reading because some of the most brilliant people in our culture have written books and you know what a lot I don't agree with each other which is fabulous that's why I just got To reading these 10 books some of them contradict

each other which is wonderful because then I get to decide what I believe what makes sense to me with wild to me to make my own decisions allows me to fail if I'm going to fail by my own conviction or allows me to succeed by my ability to synthesize new possibilities you've got to be a student a possibility you got study technology there's huge technological change that's going to change the way we educate ourselves can Change late way we entertain ourselves is going to change the structure of how people experience reality everything from something as

simple cd-rom and this overused word multimedia or now you can get a cd-rom that on this one cd-rom you have a map of every city street town every dirt road in the United States on one cd-rom or a compression technology compression television it's going to create so many choices of entertainment so many different movies so many Different channels that override different kinds of Education different worldviews different paradigms if you wants to discover channels you're going to get a difference to the paradigms about life then for example if you watch MTV I'm not saying either one

is right but if you continually have our world where we're all getting different input we're going to find our society becomes more fragment eyes than ever before all of These situations provide incredible opportunity the opportunity to grow the opportunity to understand the opportunity of comfort people around you the opportunity to create products or services or concepts that can enhance the quality of life for society opportunity to do well financially the opportunity become more stimulated than any time in human history these are the times we live in it's an incredible time what else should you become

a student of Necessity if you really want to be able to anticipate trends you should become a student necessity what do people in society see is a necessity rather than accessory because that drive that demand of the large numbers of people in our society saying we got to have something puts mass number of people to work to focus on solving that problem and with lots of people work on the problem and everybody wants it we invariably tend to find a way to make it happen the Resources are there say what else you should be a

student of consequences and inevitability certain things you know are inevitable certain things you know if I do X I know Y is going to happen but most of us never really study consequences we never look at hey if I make this decision in that decision what they're going to mean to my life long term instead we react let me tell you something again reaction is not where you want to be reaction is the direct Opposite of anticipation now there's no doubt and I still this as well they're going to be urging light when you react

because you're not prepared but you want to make those the exception instead of the rule and I can tell you one of the ways to do that is really get sold on the limits of reaction a lot of people say well I'll deal with it when it shows up well let me give a fun metaphor one of the things we do in our mastery program as we teach people they're a Form of martial art where we show people how to be able to offend themselves against virtually any attacker and the training we have we bring

in a master and his number one organizing principle is I don't teach any technique that someone can't master in three minutes it's pretty intense but it's whole thing is if you have to remember and it's really complex you got to practice it for months or years to get it down when all of a sudden you're surprised and You're not anticipating it and you get attacked in real world in the street some of these complex skills just go out the window you can't remember them just like sometimes you can't remember your own telephone number or how

to spell the word love only there are bigger consequences there not knowing how to defend yourself so he makes it simple and by the way he developed this because he trains Navy SEAL Teams and he also trains many of the law enforcement Members from across the United States including the Secret Service what he found was that there is a reactionary gap what that means specifically is how is it that our officer gets attacked and somebody's just got a knife and he's got a gun and there you know 1020 feet away and he's not able defend

himself in time because the person doing the attacking has the advantage of surprise the officer was not anticipating them and here the Physical fact you might find this interesting a grown man can travel twenty-one feet here they are 21 feet away with a knife in their hand in trouble at 21 feet in a second and a half to two seconds now think about that and takes more time that takes for you to recognize the pattern of what's going on aren't guys attacking me then formulate a plan then reach down and get your gun and then

pull it out and protect yourself it's Already over and you know what that's a great metaphor for weapons in life see if you were anticipating you could deal with so many things so much more easily it's not that you don't have the tools not that you don't have the gun it's that you're not anticipating and things strike to you this is why you've got to become a student of consequence a student of inevitability you must also become a student of pain cultural pain pain and relationships pain within Businesses because if you can find what the

pain is or the pain that's coming and come up with a solution a way to solve that pain your future is assured you will never have to worry about whether you have a career or not you'll never have to worry will you be able to succeed or not those who can solve problems those who can eliminate pain are those who are the leaders of our culture as a whole the people have the least pain in their life because they Know what they do to protect themselves and they have the most pleasure because they find solutions

become a student of value see if you want to anticipate what people are going to want more of if you're going to want to anticipate how to do well financially if you're going to anticipate how to make yourself more valuable to a company you're going to anticipate what a man or woman would want in a relationship you've got to know what people value and the more you Understand what people value the more power you have to anticipate what not only any individual but what mass number of individuals are going to want becoming a student of

value virtually ensures if you act upon your understandings that you will succeed in financial terms you'll succeed in business terms and you'll succeed in your personal life as well if your ability anticipate what people value most and to meet those values that gives You the capacity to enjoy your life and do what you want to do when want to do it in a way that empowers other people in the process listen this is exactly what John Templeton has done this guy is the number one money manager in the world since the 1950s yes sir John

Templeton what is the single most valuable skill that you developed in your lifetime he says very simply this what's made me successful is my ability to value what a company Product or service is worth that's it he knows what it's really worth so when everyone else gets emotional and they start buying something because everybody else is buying it they get greedy or they start selling it because everybody else is afraid he looks at what it's really worth you want to really anticipate become a student of value there are major shifts going on in our society

what you're going to learn to do is be a leader by making your ability to Anticipate one of your most valued assets if you value it if you constantly focus on it and improve on it you will absolutely have the edge and you are the edge and your company you can have the edging the quality relationships you can have the edge and how you raise your children because you'll be able to anticipate problems before they occur and solve them before they come up that's powerful in fact in business a good manager if Somebody can solve

problems consistently and they're able to do it no matter what but that's reaction a leader is someone who envisions potential challenges in advance and solves them anticipating trends and human desire and human behavior will also then give you peace of mind because you won't be one of those people lives in fear you'll be living in a state of certainty knowing that whatever comes up you're prepared for it and that preparation gives you The edge so really you have to reach choices either one just wait for things happen and try to react to them and lose

the edge and experience lots of pain or to anticipate changes and trends by noticing what's going on around you becoming sensitive making it a priority and then of course utilize that information to improve the quality of your life it is not enough just anticipate we're taking for granted one thing here you realize you got to use Your personal powers you've got to utilize what you know to create some quality change there is a third option and that is not just notice trends but to become a trend creator become a paradigm shifter rather than someone who

just studies them now how do you become a paradigm shifter well first of all you don't have to do that to succeed but if you're the kind of person that wants to help shape what's happening our society won Understand what's going on around you and to develop or define a vision that inspires not only you but the people around you this is how you can begin to create a paradigm shift this is what Bill Gates did when he was just this young kid that most people thought were crazy he built a core team around and

we shared his vision this is what Tom Watson did to create IBM and by the way iBM is only here today because Tom Watson jr. challenged his father's vision completely he told his father the paradigm was changing and it had a ship two computers they fought about it continuously there was major upset but in the end his father listened they changed their paradigm and as they did so they ensured their ability to come on most successful and profitable companies internationally and by the way they're under attack right now why because they haven't made a paradigm

shift they Probably need to make organizationally the same level of thinking that's made IBM as successful as it is is now slowing up but the capacity to change quickly they need to develop a new vision a new set of rules a new paradigm so step number one to becoming a paradigm shift or get clear and what is your vision something inspires you and people around you the second key to being a paradigm shift are again and ask questions no one is Asking I'd say get new answers Joe Barker in his book future vision offers a

question for people ask he says ask yourself what's currently impossible in my industry that if it was possible it would change all the rules of the game asking that question might get you to anticipate something no one else has anticipated I'm saying to you ask the same question in your personal life what's impossible in your life right now what's impossible for you to do Currently with your wife what's impossible for you to do with your kids and if it was possible how would you go about doing it if it was possible how would it change

the entire experience you have with your family what's impossible to do with your physical body right now and if it was possible how would it change your whole life and how would you go about doing it if it was possible asking this what-if type of question helps you to break out of the Paradigm and start to create new paradigms here's the third key to being a paradigm shifter not just an observer or utilizar but someone who makes it happen step 3 if it makes sense then break the rules if you see that your common sense

says doing something completely different than anyone's ever tried it before might make sense and by gosh go do it break the rule make it happen that's how most Success happens in business that's how most success happens in our world when you start creating a path or a path never existed before just remember this life rewards those who contribute on a massive scale and you know what if you are willing to challenge the paradigms that currently exist and bring an alternative and enhance of the quality of life and you're willing to stick with it till it

comes to be then all the pain will be Worth it because you'll have the pride of knowing that what you did has truly made a difference achieving your ultimate goal so what is it I got in your curiosity how could I possibly know what you were Altima gold how dare I even think this way you know what I think I can really say what it is you might tell me what my ultimate goal is to make a huge difference in the world else's goals to raise my children to be Strong individuals and make a difference

in their lives on people that they get to know and touch you might say now my goal is to make a billion dollars a million dollars 100 million dollars now my goal is just to be the best I am moment to moment see you might say my goal is to have a sailboat and go around the world but the truth is none of those are your ultimate goal what are you doing it all for why are you working so hard to support your children and get Them to be good people why are you really wanting

to make a difference why do you want the sale but why do you want the jagwire or the Ferrari or why is it that you want to travel around the world what's the sailboat for what is all this stuff that's been driving you what's really behind it all and the answer I believe is there's only one goal you really have to be happy you really want and you may word it differently than I'm using you might not use the word Happiness but you want a consistent sense of pleasure within your being and you know what

you deserve it but there's a problem the problem is that you and I have been conditioned we've been conditioned in a variety of ways to keep us from really having the happiness that we pursue so heavily it's right there within us right now we don't have to do anything for it and you and I know that intellectually right we know yeah I know I could be happy so why aren't you and You might say well I am happy are you happy all the time I know I'm not but I'm getting better because I'm beginning to

learn how to take control this thing between my ears I'm learning how to direct and control my own mind and the better I get at that the happier I am so I thought it might be nice for you and I to really talk about what the heck is this thing all happen is how we get it or maybe better yet how we experience it more consistently what prevents us and What can allow us to experience it more what is happiness it's feeling good and we've all learned different ways to do what some of us have

learned that we need to do is go to school for 14 years and then get out in the marketplace and be a doctor or be a lawyer so that we can begin to feel good about ourselves so other people feel good about us we've all been taught what has to happen first to be happy but you know what if the purrs new clothes it's all lie why do so Many people drink alcohol to obsess our people smoke cigarettes wine cocaine the number one selling retail product and North America with over a hundred billion dollars in

sales these are all devices that people learn to use to try and change the way they feel to try and make themselves feel good to feel happy but the problem is none of them work long-term even the highest high that a person can get from cocaine only lasts a short period of time and the contrast When the person crashes to their normal state is intense that's where the addiction comes from and what we've got to learn to do is tap into the natural drug if you will because not a drug it's the natural source that's

within every one of us at every moment of our life we've got to stop buying into this false idea that something on the outside will ever make us happy whether the accomplishment or cocaine neither one's going to do it not long-term plus you Cannot imagine the difference in joy that's inside of you if you just allow yourself to feel it you can be happy right now and if you doubt it think about something you've ever seen a newborn baby have you seen them when they're not in physical pain what a newborn baby like they're happy

about everything right thing to happy about the sky a bee about a smile they're happy when they pass gas on the people around them happy To go isn't that cute look at the little baby oh this is so cute and we get happy about this stuff too it's funny how human beings are we think we're getting happiness on the outside but where does it really come from yeah you know it's the inside and nothing on the outside is ever gonna give it long-term he said yeah but I made my million dollars and I felt happy

for how long I did it do it was kind of a neat Feeling but it wasn't I thought it would be and as soon as it was done it was over you know you get a new relationship you said well the relationship I mean that's not making me happy I need a new relationship and what happens you were this new person nothing's great you're so excited you feel so close to you think about him constantly you wake up thing or nothing you call up no I thank gosh you know we think to me and I

say yes me feel so good and all ones that Lasts anywhere from 15 years to 15 minutes to 15 seconds and also to changes slightly because all the things you're looking for on the outside only provide temporary feelings of joy but you know what's exciting is inside of you at this moment as you listen to my voice there's an unlimited sense of happiness and joy it is your natural state and it's the thing that you want to leash but you only unleash it when you meet the rules of your Conditioning what does it take for

you to be happy what really does it take for you to feel totally joyous inside will you be drunk with joy not without gall with joy we just felt incredible inside what has to happen what happened for you personally you got to change the world together just touch another person's live you got to read a book got to watch the TV program jealous and some music could you just feel it See when you listen to the music or you make a difference in those moments who creates that feeling inside of you isn't it really just

you that stuffs inside waiting to get out but you have these rules about what has to happen if X Y & Z occurs then I can allow myself to feel good what if you change your rules and made happiness a natural way of living I even example I remember one time I was with my younger son Jarek and we were in her car and the car broke down it was a Hot day and we were out in San Gabriel Valley and it was smoggy and it was tough and we were waiting and waiting and waiting

and waiting for a tow truck to come and it didn't come and so instead of being all angry and upset I thought to myself this is stupid I'm with my son I can have a wonderful time and the experience transformed because I asked a better question I said what could I do right now that would create joy for Jarek and myself I began to Focus on different things we could talk about and it turned into this special moment that I won't forget for many many years and we had this incredible bond and love right there

just in the moment sitting in this hot car on the smoky day waiting for things to happen I could have focused on we're waiting for to happen and been upset but it's that I've focused on what can we do right now to create more joy you know what we get whatever we focus on that's how powerful The human brain is and what's interesting though is is how my son interpreted it I remember about a couple months later we were talking about something else and all of a sudden I knew he wanted some attention he said

dad can we go see the car off the Sun I thought isn't that interesting see it's okay for us to say well little kid doesn't know better so they link up that the car is the source of that Connection and Happiness but don't you and I do the same thing as adults don't we start thinking it's the education or the PhD or the car the home of the income or the level of success in business or the quality of the article we write or whatever the case may be haven't we been seduced at times at

least maybe it's time we realize that it is the Emperor's New Clothes and that what we're doing is we're trying to cover up with natural that really our Happiness is always there inside of us and there's more of it there than you can ever get from something from the outside so the question in this tape is how do we achieve that ultimate goal oh by the way you may be saying well this sounds really nice you've been really nice and sensitive and I like these kinds of feelings but why is this gonna help me in

my job how's this gonna help me in my life life has a balance if I am I having that balance and I'll tell you One of the most powerful changes that shifted my life it's just an idea but it's an idea that if you were to apply it as simple as it is if you were to actually live it it could instantly change the quality of your life and that idea is simply this all of my life I was conditioned to believe that if I achieved enough my health enough people and I did enough things

that I would be happy so I was working very hard so I could chief so I could eventually be Happy and one day I got this new concept in my head what if I happily achieved what if my goal was not to achieve but my goal was to be happy and that while I was happening I was going to do things that contribute and made a difference which will be great references for the power that I had when I Unleashed and experienced the ultimate human emotion I can tell you what the idea of putting happiness

as higher on my list of values than achievement with a little scary for Me at first because I thought boy if I feel happy but I won't be driven to achieve maybe I won't want to work as hard maybe I won't help as many people maybe all these things but identify with my life maybe I won't I won't have that same level of motivation maybe I got to keep cheating because that makes me you know a person who contributes and little me so I can be happy I don't want to take that away because I'll

lose my drive I was wrong I was scared but I was Wrong what happened was when I finally decided I was going to be happy along the way that life was not an outcome that it was a process but I would achieve things and say is this all there is and less along the way I enjoyed the process that I was going to spend more of my time and life in the process that I was achieving and I wanted to be happy more the time I got to get committed to that idea the minute I

started living that way my life Changed and I went to a whole new level I thought it was accessible before I thought boy look I got my act together all I can tell you is I got a new level of depth so how do we create this real balance how do we take we've talked about this far in this tape and make it practical so you can really use it so you can really experience more of this big promise I've been telling about all that joy inside of you that you know is there I want

to get the eight points Number one we've already talked about the first key to unleashing your happiness is to remember it's already there to remember it your natural state I said a zillion times in this tape and they sound redundant to you but I'm a big believer the repetition is the mother of skill we hear enough we may remember it just think about it think about what's inside of you I think that most people's unhappiness that really the root of all human misery is the Ignorance of our true nature and power that it's all inside

of us it's not on the outside see most of us been conditioned to believe that being happy is difficult instead of what's always there so I believe to be unhappy you got to pervert your reality not manage to pull this off in my own life and many times as I'm sure you have but the reality of our existence is joy in order to be unhappy you gotta develop false beliefs about what life is You got to begin to believe that all these things have to occur for you to feel appreciative for this thing called life

that's crazy and we've been sold and we bought into that insane game exactly developed all these rules about all these different things that specifically have to occur at specific times in specific ways before we get to have those great feelings that we wanted something we begin to think that events are the Source of our happiness or than another person is the source of our happiness or our kids are the source of our happiness our career the source of our happiness we start thinking we need another person to think that we can feel love inside of

us that it's coming from him or her that's their enchanting words or those beloved whispers in our ears that's what makes us feel really good that's what makes us feel well that's what makes us feel happy but we sort of stop to really Consider what are those feelings of love or security or peace where are they coming from when we fill them in that moment coming from are they like sneaking out that person's lips or mouth and into our ear and into our body make us feel good of course not we're unleashing those within ourselves

in that moment but you know what happens is we have a situation like this or we feel good for a moment because it's something on the outside We've met one of our rules and we think that that's real happiness we've really got an infinite reservoir of joy that's deep inside of us that goes beyond anything you've ever felt before and when something outside of us triggers it it's usually like a little tiny trickle of joy that flows out and what do we think we go boy I'm so lucky that I have that person in my

life what you probably are but that's not the source of happiness because if that's the source Of happiness what if that person never goes away little scary huh or what if they pass away or what if something separates you at some time you see the fear that most people have in their lives are not being happy it's because they think it's coming from the outside they experience the object of their senses and when they taste that they think boy that's joy is coming from that object from that person from that event but in fact we're

only Tasting our own inner feelings that are existing continuously their constant and all that sweetness and all that love that you want so bad is flowing through your veins in your heart right now there's a sea of a real power inside of you everyone has this place inside of them all we got to do is tap into it touch it but you can't do that as long as you believe happiness is on the outside as long as you believe happiness is a reward happiness is not a reward The reward is life itself you've got the

reward happiness is nothing but a state feeling good as a state of mind and emotion and you can have at any moment simply by claiming it how do you claim it two ways one change the way using your body if you're not happy right now I guarantee you may be doing several things one is you may not be breathing now you say what are you talking about I'm breathing sure you are but other Times one like you're frustrated or you're angry or you're concerned does your breathing pattern change I guarantee it does what about your

facial expressions see if you change your facial expressions you immediately change how you feel try this right now no one's around they're not noticing put a big stupid silly grin on your face oh come on we can notice if your your car turn to some other person who's in the traffic And grin at them with a big huge granite watch what happens they'll think you're on drugs it's okay just go ahead do it try it or just do it right now come on smile real big and while you're doing this big smile on your face

thinking this is stupid and crazy notice how you feel see you have 80 different muscles in your face if you change the way you use them you can make yourself feel happy and I bet you already know the ways to do it back if I ask you get Depressed you could pull that off couldn't you the point is simple you can change the way you use your body and change your level of happiness what else can you do let's go to step two of these eight or however many points I decide to make out of

these particulars really simply this change your focus and you change your level of happiness remember it's not only your physical body and your beliefs that determine how happy you are what are you focusing on see Right now you could get totally depressed how would you do it well you could use your body in ways that make you feel depressed but also you could do it just by focusing on things that don't make it feel good you can feel sad or you can feel angry can you think of people that have wronged you and your bass

focus on that enough that you really began to feel it again and feel right or angry all over again even though they're not here if you really Wanted it couldn't you do that could you feel really sad remembering things you missed out on all you have to do is focus on them what about joy what about pleasure what about ecstasy can remember a time in your life when you were feeling feelings and emotions of absolute ecstasy how good that really felt whatever it was could you go back to that time and remember it actually reacts

perience the feelings begin to breathe and feel the same way until you Felt so good inside remember times when you felt totally loved see if you really want to be happy you have to become good at what I call memory management memory management means if you're unhappy right now because you're not controlling to focus your mind your focus on something makes you feel lousy something makes you feel good and now to give you an example let's say you're travelling in a wonderful place like New York City which has all kinds of opportunities to show Yourself

how resourceful you really are just getting across streets the bottom line is let's say you step off the street corner and hands up comes by and almost hit you now how you going to feel well it all depends on what you focus on some people freak out and get unbelievably angry how do they do that how could they they don't even watch them they're gonna kill somebody could've killed me thinking that I could be nozzle right Now coming out for my kids whenever we take care of them and then what are you doing that was

my job in the Iguana no no no no nothing's happened nothing has happened but you know what these people have not perfected their mind they have not learned it take control of their mind their mind is controlling them and if you don't control your mind your mind has the capacity to think of every possibility undisciplined because of its cultural conditioning through television And schooling and advertising the brain is learning to try and protect itself and a lot of people's brains have learn to become incredibly skeptical pessimistic to find it what's wrong so they don't get

disappointed if you don't control your minds will control you you must control your focus what could that man that same situation you could have felt grateful you could have felt good or happy you could have said wow that thing almost hit me but it didn't That should hit me but it didn't somebody must be protecting me up there I'm a mister maybe it's not but sure make you feel good if you look good that way or you might think amazing how fast I am I got off and I instantly reacted that it's hot I'm thinking

where I could use that right I could chase down the man or what my dream is that kind of speed you know I could go out make my job work better I could be on the track team see it all depends on what you Focus on that's what's going to terminate feel nothing more remember nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning that you give it and the meaning you give things is usually based on what you choose to focus on so control your focus here's step 3 to happiness ask happy questions ask empowering

questions now if you spend any time with me you know I talk all the time about physiology changing focus and I'm asking Better questions and the reason I talk about those as they are the fundamental control tools to your brain your mind and your emotions and therefore the quality of your life questions you need to ask yourself when things come up it's not what does this mean by the way that's the natural question that comes up your brain is always trying to avoid pain and gain pleasure it's the way you're wired it's a survival instinct

whenever you're going to do something Arrange those what does this mean and what should I do is it going to mean pain is going to mean pleasure is going to lead me toward more things that I want or you're going to take me down the road I don't want to be in based on my past experience the bottom line is in pursuit of what does this mean we get two points we're not sure what things are going to be so let's say you want to make an investment should I invest in a stock or Not

well the brain is asking what is it going to mean five minutes no stock is it gonna be in pleasure ie profit and I'm going to feel good and have more money and things will be nice or gonna be in pain I'm going to lose what I've got here or it's not going to grow at all but see the problem is if you ask what's this going to mean it's very difficult to be certain absolutely certain which one is going to lead to and after people drive themselves a bit Crazy I'll give you more challenging

situation sometimes you try and do everything right and things turn up wrong and then try to figure out why they turn to pro why is it you gave your all is still in work or somebody in knowledge an hour didn't get supported or there's an idea that's so useful but no one will listen to you right now or you worked all night in a project and then your dog ate it the next morning if you ask questions like what does this Mean you might come up with answers like well it's another example of me sabotaging

myself maybe you're not sabotaging yourself that makes you just feel bad about yourself maybe you just weren't smart maybe you let the dog eat your thing because you didn't put it on higher shelf maybe you were just stupid maybe you weren't fam'ly dodging let's look at it that way so we got to be careful about the meaning we give things by asking the question what does this Mean a better question how can I use this how is this important in my life what can I learn from this these are the kinds of questions that will

make you feel happier they'll make you feel good in your life because ask and you shall receive if you want a better quality of life if you want more happiness ask questions that lead you to a place where you feel better about yourself in your environment I guarantee if you do not feel happy in a regular basis it's because you've got a set of habitual question to ask yourself like why does this always happen to me or why can't I pull this off and again if you say why can't I your brain says after you

shall receive here's why you can't because you're stupid you're an idiot you know fall through because your sabotage it'll come up with a reason whether it's true or not so you gotta Take control the question-asking process so what am I really happy about my life right now be a good question I'll be brain goes nothing next question is what could I be happy about if I wanted to be happy about something what am I really enjoying in my life right now what can I be excited about if I wanted to be excited what's really wonderful

in my life what's great about this what is working see these are questions that'll really support you and If you're in lousy state you don't ask questions like how much longer will this last or how can I survive this can I survive this makes you doubt whether you can to make it through where you are those are disempowering questions instead if you want to break out of that state you might want to ask a question like or will this even matter ten years from now so that's key number three ask effective questions control the focus

your mind by Asking questions the fourth key to experience consistent happiness and boy I'll tell you one this is a big one learn to be a perceiver instead of a judger what do I mean by that well there's a problem with judging too quickly and that is when you judge what things mean too quickly often times you feel pain about things you don't have to feel pain about for example you're gotten upset about what you thought somebody said later on you find out if Not what they said or it's not what they meant and you're

all uptight about it because you felt that they had judged you you'd decided that's what things had meant later on you found out something differently or maybe you had an experience like I've had I felt like somebody was give me the runaround one day and they're everything I try to accomplish they seem to get in my way of accomplishing it that's not like you're trying to manipulate me and I started to Get kind of angry quite honestly inside of there man I judged these people are just trying to manipulate me and sure enough they got

me to this place and we walked in this building or we turn on the lights and it was a surprise birthday party I had judged instead of lying myself to perceive and wait and see what does this really mean you and I empower our lives whenever we allow ourselves to have a new level of choices what things mean I'll give you an Example I had a day in your life that you would look back on and would say gosh alone the worst days of my life it was so frustrating so angry I was so hurt

by that person don't we all have some place in a life but if I said what would the ultimate most painful experience your life you could remember it and go back that if you really needed to question I have phrase if you remember the time like that would it be fair to say that as you look back on it Now the meaning is different than it was back then that as you look back on it now you may see gosh it was painful but that pain kind of shaped a part of my life and it

made me more sensitive other people maybe you're abused as a child that sensitivity now makes you care more deeply for other people it would make sure that you would never behave the way you were treated as an example or maybe what happened is you had a painful experience in life at the end you Thought man that's the end lies you look back in and out it was really the beginning that the reality is if you look back in a now it's so painful it change the direction your life it's brought you the place you are

today my point is in your life you're going to have good days and you're gonna have bad days but one thing is absolutely certain at the end of the day you're not going to know which one they really are because some Days you thought were your worst are going to turn out to be your best so we start judging things being good or bad soft or hard the right or the wrong way to do something maybe there isn't a right or wrong way a hundred percent I'm not saying there aren't any rules I'm just saying

maybe we need to soften our view of life a little bit and give ourselves more space to learn and grow that as we learn more about things our view may change but once we lock out That this is it we stop our growth see knowledge is not power many times knowledge closes the door like when you're a child you know it's like the door is open all the way up you want to take everything in but see as you learn more and more you'll be going to close the door more and more and more and

more because you become more and more certain that you got the whole thing figured out say I think we've got to discipline ourselves on is saying hey this feels Right to me I think I got it handled and I'm open to learning more it seems like this is true but I always want to know that the meaning may change as I learn more about this person or the situation once we start judging a person as being wrong or right or a situations being wrong or right we start to shut that door and we take away

our choice and we take away some of our happiness we distance ourselves and people events opportunities and certain emotions we Don't want to do that we don't want to rob ourselves with that so you've got to make sure that their other meanings and here's the question ask yourself to release yourself from judgment the questions simple question is is there any other possible meaning that this could have or another question might be will be a better way of looking at this that would empower me and others see the only way you eventually master meaning is by

mastering your mind by realizing You determine the meaning that comes out of something nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning you give it see something isn't good or bad until you decide that's what it is to give it that label and then it becomes a reality for you and just remember this the people that you may have once thought were successful may not have been successful at all for only one reason they didn't master meaning the John Belushi's of the world were Incredibly successful in getting other people laughed obviously he wasn't very good

at getting himself to laugh at critical times he didn't master the meaning of things he created all the success around him as being something to feel bad about that took after you got to work at that thing and I'm not being mean about someone who's no longer here that I was a great fan of his but clearly he didn't master his mind and twice no longer here Elvis Presley had a similar problem we can go on and on down the list fact personally I believe that if you have success on the exterior but you're not

happy in the interior you're far from successful we've got to create a meaning that gives us drawing the inside while we share that joy with others where our life truly does make a difference but we enjoy the process otherwise we live the ultimate nightmare nothing else we dream principle number Five to having consistent happiness is learning a little bit of how to use your brain instead of having it use you and the way to utilize it is using a simple principle of human perception and that is the principle of contrast contrast is an invaluable way

to change the way you feel about virtually anything it's something you got used on you when you were a kid so you may have been complaining about something you have this perception that you turned into a Judgment you were judging or I need some new shoes I'm upset how come all the other kids have new shoes I don't have new shoes and you went to your parents and said I want the new shoes and your mother said look don't you complain about not having new shoes look at these people over here they don't have any

feet anyway you got a point okay I can understand that the usual contrast on you and they just shut you down your tracks they totally Change what things meant to you by giving you a new reference a contrasting reference if that makes sense to you we need to learn to do this for ourselves the bottom line is what looks like a bra maybe an opportunity but you got to use contrast to your advantage here's number six number six key to achieving your ultimate goal on regular basis that is happiness is very simple soften your rules

what do I mean by that well you and I I've talked about it and I've alluded to it at least throughout this tape we have developed a set of rules about what has to happen before we can feel good and have this experience called happiness and unfortunately for many of us we have very intense rules that is we have 80 things that have to occur before we can finally be happy everything has to be in place for example today's woman quote unquote what does she have to do to be happy well she has to be

superwoman She has to take unbelievable care of her husband she's got to take unbelievable care of herself she got to take unbelievable care of her kids she's got to be a great businesswoman and career-oriented person to make sure she comes home and everybody's fed and everybody's nurturing everybody supported and she's got to be great lover for husband and he's mama exhausted see the bottom line is today's woman's been conditioned you Got to be perfect you got to be all these things in order to feel fulfilled with that many rules with that many things having to

be perfect for a person to feel fulfilled they set themselves up for tremendous pain because they're gonna be so hard to be perfect in all those areas all simultaneously I don't know how today's woman can do it much less today's man he's got all his rules to the different condition into him I know they vary from person to Person talking to a gentleman is a big oil man for him to feel successful he has to have net available to invest in liquid assets for him on a consistent basis 20 million dollars now think about that

that might put a little stress in your life so you know they might be a little difficult for you to meet especially if the most you've ever had liquid was 10 million even worse I guess if you only had 10,000 but the point is most of us have set ourselves up for Failure and some of us have rules that are impossible to meet I can tell you time and time again when I talk to people that truly are happy one of the major reasons is they got ruled like in order to be happy I have

to wake up for people say they like every day above ground is a great day how do I know if I'm happy or not how do I know if I'm successful if I wake up and look that I'm above ground then I'm successful see what a lot of us have done is we set up Or 50 things all have to be happening simultaneously for us to feel good and be happy but just one that alignment or do we get upset in fact have you ever noticed how things can be really great in your life and

a one thing just one thing can be out of line and also and your whole focus goes there your mind goes crazy you start getting all upset and everything else when everything else in your life could be in great shape we need to remind ourselves that we got one Thing going on well things are going well and the reality is if you look at your life how many things really are going well in your life if you are being honest with yourself if you weren't judging by these unbelievable standards or everything has to be perfect

simultaneously we were the ultimate man the ultimate woman the ultimate the form of the ultimate career person how many things are really going well if you focused on let's see what we've got to Do is we've got to make it so we have more ways to feel happy and less ways to feel unhappy that's the bottom line point number seven if you really want to be happy use happy words to describe that way your feeling on a consistent basis develop a habitual vocabulary that is filled with words that create pleasurable emotion within you we have

a lot more words to describe negative emotions and we do positive and so we tend to use them more often Sometimes anytime you're unhappy I guarantee you you're putting a word on your experience a word that creates a judgment about it that is negative it creates a negative emotion or feeling so let me just offer you some words that are enjoyment or pleasure oriented happiness oriented here they are enjoyment euphoria a sense of well-being a sense of contentment ease comfort coziness gratification satisfaction luxury to relish something to feel a Zest for something sweetness entertainment happiness

gladness delight the election joy joyfulness cheer cheerfulness exaltation exuberance Glee sunshine overjoyed intoxicated rapture jubilation celebration gladdened feasted heart warmed fascinated captivated enthralled enchanted tickled thrilled beaming basking in starry-eyed glowing radiant those are just a few one of them somebodies how's it going you said things different than okay doing all Right survive and hanging tough if you were to use those kinds of phrases to describe how you're feeling what you do is you immediately denigrate your experience you lower the level of enjoyment you have by the words that you're using amplify your emotion by using

new labels if you're going to judge instead of perceived why not judge by putting labels on your experience that make you feel great Instead of words that make you feel lousy it's a very simple thing and it may sound so simple you may not do it so think about it if when you stop pretty good you said I'm feeling excellent I'm feeling outrageous I'm feeling fabulous if you can staying on our regular basis would you not begin to feel that way rather than if you said I'm doing okay fair to Midland so you think about

it when you begin to use those phrases to use those phrases you have to change Your emotional state you may be feeling great be a villain okay at a a bit and pretty soon you don't feel as good as you could have pay attention to the vocabulary you use consistently you want to be happier build up a vocabulary write down some words that you're going to use the ones I just dropped on you [Music] [Music] right unbeliev see if you want to change your life Change your habitual vocabulary do it now simple step write down

a couple of words you use on a regular basis to describe how you're feeling that make you feeling worse than you really were feeling and then decide you're not going to use the words to describe yourself or how you're feeling for the next 30 days sound like a deal just try and see what happens and in their place write down the words that you want to use on a regular basis describe how you're Feeling how you're doing in your life and make sure their words that amplify the positive emotion that's point 7 here's our final

point we'll wrap up point number 8 and how to achieve your ultimate goal happiness on a consistent basis it's very simple hold yourself to a new standard so wait a second I thought you said make my rules easier you're right I did except there's got to be a new standard your life and you should new standard is simply this you Adopt a belief that not to be happy is to be a failure and for those of you who are motivated to succeed there's not it really do it to you what I mean is most people

not make happiness a big enough priority if you decide right now that being happy is the only real success then I suggest that you'll achieve it because we always get what we focus on as we talked about earlier we've got to make sure though that we must be happy not that we should be happy not that we Could be happier that it's really a must that's something that must happen that you must do it not the outside environment not your brother your sister your friends your neighbors your boss but you and that you can do

it if you really adopt that core belief and you measure on a regular basis saying hey I got to be happy that's the way I got to live otherwise I'm being abusive to life otherwise I'm giving a slap in the face to my Creator what if you release it Life that way but not to enjoy the gifts that have been given you would be the ultimate blasphemy all I've tried to do in this tape is get you to think at a new level get you to focus on the possibility of swinging the pendulum where you

spend a lot more time in the happiness mode a lot less than the pain mode and certainly you deserve that you know what else is exciting about knowing that you can be happy at any moment it also relieves you the burden Of trying to everybody else happy now I know you still do it because you care about people I do too but the reality is when you realize that you don't have to do anything for yourself to be happy in a moment then you're also be going to realize other people have to do anything either

they can be happy right now you can stop trying to make everyone happy what probably drives you crazy because you can never do it successfully you Might for the moment get someone to be happy the only way they're going to be happy long term is when they claim the real power and when they stop buying into the lie that something outside them controls them when they realize that the only reason they don't have the joy that they wanted they've not claimed it and I'm not saying in this pay program by the way that the whole

purpose is just go out and bliss out be by yourself and feel good because you and I live in a Western culture as I said many times if you just sit in a Western culture and just bliss out and feel good somebody will come and take your furniture so you had to do more than that you do have to be active but I'll tell you my idea success has changed throughout the years growing up poor I thought it was money then I really isn't money it's contributing other people then I contribute other people on that's

not each other I still feel fulfilled I feel Good about myself I'm proud but that doesn't make me feel fully fulfilled because here I'm achieving help others but I'm not feeling as happy as I could I'm burning myself out and what I look for in life is the balance and I now the new definition of success that's how I measure myself and so I encourage others who ask me how to measure their own success and the measure I have is a two step process number one how happy are you and the bottom line is if

you're not Happy without happy you are you can change that you can do it the moment you can change the way you're breathing you ask yourself a great question you can focus on what's great in your life you can use some contrast or so many tools you've gotten instead of tape one of them alone could work you don't have to use them all you have to go through eight steps to make it work and so what number two is how happy are the people who are around you because there was a Time in my life

when I had a standard only for my own happiness as I was happy but nobody else into it they want to happy being around me so I made the distinction I want you to be happy I want to be cheerful what cheerfulness really means to me is that you're so happy on the inside that you also express it on the outside so it affects the people around you and so I guess my new definition of success is real simple it's am i living a life Where I'm experiencing more and more pleasure and less and less

pain and in the process of living it is the way I'm living it creating more and more pleasure for others and less and less pain from them if I'm feeling better and better all the time and I can get other people around me to feel better and better if I can feel less pain they can feel less pain we can get seem to expand in that direction I think there's a reason why our brain wants to Move towards pleasure it's because it leads us to a place we're really connected with our Creator that may sound

weird to you but I think there's a reason why human beings are wired the way they're wired and I think the easiest way to get to your Creator the easiest way to have that joy is to know that those feelings are available now and to hold yourself to a standard where you cause yourself to feel them on a regular basis not because you have to But because you deserve to but you got to hold the standard so in summary what have we said we said a lot of things in this tape but I guess the

most important thing we said is whether you're happy not is not a question of whatever happiness is there if they're inside of you at levels of intensity and of depths you've never dreamed of but you've got to open the spout you got to let what's in you out and you got to realize that you're really the source you got to Remember there's nothing outside of you that's going to create it for you and it's the only way to really have this ongoing happiness is to change your focus to change some of your core beliefs to

realize you don't have to do anything to be happy you don't have to be responsible to something to be happy you don't have to achieve to be happy that you can happily achieve you have to choose between the two you don't have to give up being an achiever and doing a Person makes things happen and just be somebody just Bliss's out you can bliss out while you work what a concept you can feel so good while you make that difference with your children you can feel so good while you build your empire you have to

wait to feel good and then if you feel good along the way you're liable to build the Empire bigger you're liable have a better impact on your kids and maybe a better role model for them as well maybe the whole message of this Whole tape is just reminds you that the only way you achieve your ultimate goal of happiness is by perfecting your mind by taking control by mastering it and God forbid if you were to start developing this kind of habit will you feel good on a consistent basis because if you really start feeling

like you know what happens this stuff is catchy it's like a disease it spreads all the people within your sphere of influence and all of a sudden they're starting to Feel good and pretty soon you become rather successful because you're experiencing tons of pleasure and very little pay the people around you or impacted by the way you live and they start feeling better too what a terrible world if we all did this on a consistent basis of course we all know that's impossible you know couldn't feel good on a consistent basis but what if we

were wrong have you ever been wrong about what you're really Capable of and then you were pretty pleased to find out you were better than you thought you were I think you and I every day begin to find out we're much more than we thought we were we're much more than our physical body we're much more than we ever dreamed was possible maybe just the physical body and this thing you call yourself is just a vehicle and there's a flame burning inside that spirit of who you really are which is greater than anything you've Dreamed

of but I think the only time you really get in touch with that part of these when you're feeling happy when you're feeling that base level of joy and you can have it right now so claim your real power and achieve your ultimate goal today and then do it again tomorrow and the next day and the next day don't make it something you reach for make it something you experienced make it the way you live so my challenge to you until we meet again is to Remember the world is as you see it it's your

mind not the world the source of all your experience and you don't like what you're experiencing change what you're doing inside your head take control until I visit with you again remember live with passion you