to be alone forever some people's greatest fear a table for one at a fancy restaurant falling asleep in a cold bed a quiet empty house with no one to share your wins and losses with no one to witness your happiest moments or comfort you in your most difficult ones it's that sinking feeling in your chest imagining that you're unlovable and undesirable and fearing you might remain that way forever if you're single there's a high likelihood that you've felt this way before and if you have there's there's no reason to be ashamed of it it's normal
or there I say expected that you'd feel this way in a world obsessed with romantic Partnerships these fears are echoed everywhere in the movies we watch the songs we listen to and even in social and political discussions one of the first insult you hear thrown around is you'll never find love thinking this way unfortunately this is why many people enter and stay in relationships that might not be the best because we have this notion that being with anyone is better than being alone but what if we could change our thinking about being single and focus
more on the positive aspects of it here is why you should stay single embracing life without a romantic partner isn't easy but if you do the work and are honest and intentional with yourself you can create a great life for yourself you can find happiness on your own and for many of us it's easier than finding the right partner the first thing to remember is that being single isn't the same as being alone or lonely you can be romantically single and still have fulfilling relationships with family and friendss sharing your life with the people you
love doesn't necessarily have to involve romance there's this unspoken expectation that our romantic Partners have to be our everything they need to be our best friends counselors caregivers and providers these necessary roles can easily be filled by multiple people in our lives you could even argue that spreading your support network across multiple people is better it's unrealistic to think that one person can fulfill your every need and desire in fact in fact this is one of the reasons a lot of relationships end one party Feels So burdened by all the emotional weight in the relationship
that they burn out by learning to share these roles and expanding your support network you're better prepared for the difficulties in life you're also less likely to feel lonely because you have more people to lean on even if your relationship with one person is suffering you have others to turn to this is why so many people are lonely even people in relationships because they put all of their expectations on one person they start to feel alienated and alone when those expectations are not being met this Dynamic of being alone with a partner can cut deeper
than the loneliness you feel when you're single because in a partnership you're not supposed to feel lonely so adding to your loneliness is the shame and the guilt of feeling lonely in the first place it's also difficult to share this feeling with others friends and family might have difficulty believing you because they see the Snippets of life with your partner so they remind you of the good times and tell you that all relationships require hard work because it's commonly believed that being lonely together is better than being alone many people stay in relationships that they
should leave because they're afraid of being single and if more people had a positive view of single life I think the pressure to stay in unhappy relationships would decrease being in a relationship doesn't mean you'll become your best self but this still seems to be the way of life or pressure to conform to romance is the central theme of countless Hollywood Blockbusters novels and TV shows we're constantly being sold the idea that love will complete us that we're nothing on our our own we're taught to look for our better half as if we can't be
whole on our own even apart from the story sold to us by the media Society also seems to favor people who are in couples practically life is just so much cheaper when you have someone to split the rent and groceries with healthcare plans and travel expenses privilege couples and setting money aside a spouse or a common law partner holds a certain status in your life like an extension of yourself your partner holds the title of someone who knows you better than anyone else even if you have a friend or family member who might be worthy
of that role friends and family might see your life as incomplete without a special someone everything could be going right for you but without a partner you might be pied and seen as a failure the people in your life could be trying to influence you to find someone making you feel that being alone is an inferior option and after a while you believe it's what you should do but it doesn't have to be this way there are lots of ways to live a happy life and it's important to know what it feels like to live
a happy life on your own well it is true that the world isn't set up to support single people there are huge benefits to spending life on your own when you're single you have complete control over your life choices want to move to a new city or change careers you can fully pivot the direction of your life without having to consider the needs or wants of a partner you can take risks without fear that your choices will negatively impact someone else you don't have to feel guilty about going after what you truly want because ultimately
the only person you have to consider is yourself it extends to Little Things things like decorating your house what time you want to wake up in the morning and what you eat for dinner while these sound like small luxuries this kind of freedom and Independence doesn't come easy with a partner even with active communication when you're single everything in your life is entirely in your control and this might sound daunting Some people prefer being told what to do it's why a lot of people are stuck in codependent relationships that they can't get out of but
being single forces you to work through any of the issues of dependency you might have the control you gain over your life allows you to develop a sense of self and to figure out who you really are and what you want out of life as an adult singleness is the first time you get this opportunity as a child choices were made for you and as a young adult the school system controls most of your waking hours if you're ushered straight from that phase into a series of relationships you'll never really know what it feels like
to live life uninfluenced well some might be fine with this I think it can stunt your growth as an independent adult you have the chance to get to know who you are when no one's watching and you gain trust in your ability to make the right choices for yourself don't deny yourself the opportunity of self-discovery an extended period of your life free from any notion of romance can help you tune into your emotional side you learn what it feels like to listen to yourself without the distraction of outside noise that a partner often brings you
can hear what you want and follow through on your desires when you become good at listening to yourself you can begin to live a life that aligns with your own values you learn how to soothe yourself in times of stress take care of yourself and enjoy your own company and it sounds easy right well being single definitely also has its downsides I don't want to paint a romanticized version of being single because that would be ironic you see even with the best friends and family being single can still be lonely your friends and family have
other people they're devoted to and because you're not in a romantic relationship with them they don't owe you first priority in their lives you might want to vent to someone after a rough day at work and find that your friends are too busy and can't meet up managing chores and life tasks all on your own can be a challenge then there's the emotional and physical intimacy that most of us crave even if only occasionally someone to buy you flowers or just make a cup of coffee for you in the morning also in a partnership it
can be easy to blame your problems on another person when you're single there is no place to hide you have to take responsibility for your life the good and the bad and if something is happening that's making you miserable then you are the one who needs to change it the difficulties of living alone can be so intense that they sometimes lead people to turn towards unsatisfactory relationships scrolling through dating apps trying to find the next first date finding comfort in awkward situationships or constantly seeking casual sex can all be coping mechanisms for starving off loneliness
of course finding yourself in strange unfulfilling romantic entanglements isn't the end of the world in each case is specific but using other people to Shield or distract ourselves from our insecurities and problems problem s is easy it helps us avoid looking deep within ourselves and investigating our dependent Behavior I think intentional singleness requires a lot of Courage it shows you're willing to plunge into the depths of yourself without fear of what you'll find it can be seen as an act of self-love you're willing to be your own company spend time with yourself and let your
thoughts and actions guide the trajectory of your life your sense of worth desirability and validation has to come within you can't FastTrack this work through a month or two of being single between relation relationships it it might take years of singleness to realize that you're better off on your own or prefer to be alone rather than with someone you don't like you might even arrive at a place where you prefer to remain single forever but this time it doesn't come with a sinking feeling of Despair but with excitement and a sense of Liberation if you're
currently in a loving romantic relationships don't take this as a reason to break up with them being in a relationship has its merits and what you want from life is different for everyone and I can't deny that dating can be fun in every relationship you have is an opport opportunity to learn more about yourself albeit through the lens of somebody else plus you could fall in love and find the perfect partner that feels like they complete you and spend the rest of your life with them because truly there is no template to this life remember
that staying single for a while doesn't completely mean ignoring your desire for a relationship one day instead it's an opportunity to find satisfaction despite that desire it's about recognizing who you can be when you're alone and the type of person who could compliment you who you are special in worth protecting and after a season of being alone you'll more likely value yourself and your time you'll know that it's only worth being in a relationship if it's supports who you truly are and if not you'll have the confidence that you can remain alone true compatibility is
hard to find in the mysteries of Attraction are far too complex to dive into here but after spending some time on your own what if you do meet someone someone who adds to what you've built for yourself they can acknowledge and love the person you've become when no one's watching how can you deny yourself that to be single doesn't mean you have to stay single forever if that isn't something you want it's a chance to get to know yourself better learn the value of your time and who you really are it's about recognizing that you
shouldn't just throw yourself at anyone for the sake of companionship but it's also about not getting too tied up in yourself that you close yourself off from any real chance at love finding happiness on your own is important but sharing happiness with another person could also be important a saying goes happiness held as the seed happiness shared as the flower don't get so caught up in your single life that you find yourself clutching the seed in your fist with a death grip when the right person comes along open your hand and invite them into your
world and don't be afraid to spend some time in theirs too if what you've built is stable you can always return and that confidence is what makes the best relationships only when you spent time nurturing your seed of happiness will it be ready to bloom when someone comes along to water it love is a truly complex thing watch this next video to find out all about [Music] it
