My mother-in-law demands expensive gifts. My husband gave her one using my money.The Result...

my name is Amy and I'm 31 years old I've been married to my husband seen for three years but we still don't have any children we had envisioned owning a home and starting a family by now but that dream seems to be slipping away I've started to believe that scen and his parents are contributing to our current situation despite our efforts to save money together our savings haven't grown much Cen often buys expensive branded gifts for his parents and this habit has been a strain on our finances but before we married I knew Cen had

a tradition of giving gifts to his parents which I initially saw as a sign of respect however my perspective has shifted since we've been married while his filial piety is admirable his tendency to spend money recklessly has become more apparent he seems to view our increased income as a green light for more extravagant spending where he used to stick to a budget he now chooses only luxury items and his parents have come to expect these costly gifts they even request for no particular reason which I find difficult to understand Cen has been secretly giving gifts

to his parents and discovering this has only fueled my growing resentment while he shows unwavering dedication to his parents he remains indifferent to mine when I bring up my mother's upcoming birthday his nonchalant response only adds to my frustration the stark contrast between the gifts he lavishes on his parents and the modest ones I can afford for mine bothers me deeply I sometimes wish I could give my parents expect expensive gifts but our finances are stretched thin due to his spending as a result the gifts I managed to give them are always a compromise falling

short of what I'd like to offer although my parents appreciate what they receive it pains me that I can't fully celebrate their special occasions my dissatisfaction with scene's one-sided concern for his parents is becoming increasingly difficult to ignore after a year of marriage as I watched our savings stagnate I begin addressing scen spending habits however each time we discussed it the conversation ended in his anger he would accuse me of lacking sympathy for his parents or even of disliking them without truly hearing my concerns despite my repeated attempts to communicate he never genuinely listened or

showed any willingness to change a few months ago Cen bought his mother an expensive new wallet when I confronted him about it he defended the purchase by claiming her old wallet was worn out but I knew the old wallet was one he had given her just a year earlier and it didn't look warn to me realizing that my words were getting through to him I decided to approach his parents directly considering our future I felt it was crucial to address the issue directly with cen's parents with scen present I began by showing them the balance

of our joint account I pointed out how little our savings had grown since we got married despite both of us working as you can see I said we've hardly increased our savings since we began even though we both contribute to the household income my in-law examined the bank statement with unreadable Expressions while scen appeared visibly displeased undeterred I turned to him and asked scen do you remember the promise we made when we got married we agreed to save money to build the house and start a family right he seemed to have a moment of realization

and nodded looking guilty to get to the bottom of the issue I press scene further then why aren't you cooperating are you saying you don't want to build a house or half children he shook his head vigorously clearly agreeing with that notion just as I was about to continue my mother-in-law interrupted oh so we're talking about building a house now that sounds wonderful I'd like our room to be in a Sunny Spot my father-in-law quickly added yes we definitely need more space for our things two rooms would be ideal I was taken aback by this

unexpected response seizing the moment SC became enthusiastic about the idea all right then let's make it two rooms one for visits and another for storing clothes and longings annoyed by their enthusiasm I cut in if we're adding two more rooms that will increase our cost significantly therefore we'll need to avoid any expensive gifts until the loan is paid off my mother-in-law quickly back B Ed oh it was just a joke we rarely say over at scenes plays anyway right my father-in-law chimed in exactly maintaining the smile I firmly reiterated a decision I had made previously

I see it was a joke however for the sake of our our future household and children will need to limit gifts to birthdays and anniversaries only Cen immediately protested that's not fair to Mom and Dad I had anticipated his reaction and responded with a look of disdain then your pocket money will be entirely cut off we can't find any other way to tighten our budget or are you planning to use the money you saved when you were single to cover your parents gifts if that's the case I won't interfere scene fell silent his face sour

I let out a soft sigh and with a bright smile directed at my in-laws who were searching for a response said I appreciate your understanding a saving requires the effort of the entire family they responded with reluctant nods their faces still Grim it was clear that none of them including scene were fully convinced but I firmly closed the conversation leaving no room for further discussion after that discussion scen stopped giving extravagant gifts to his parents and I noticed our joint bank account balanced steadily increasing I felt a sense of relief as our finances began to

improve however this Tranquility was short-lived the Turning Point came when my sister gave birth being only a year younger my sister and I have always been very close Although our contact lessoned after marriage we still made an effort to keep in touch at least once a week when she had the baby she sent me a photo along with news of her joy and excitement perhaps I'm biased because it's my niece but the baby was truly adorable I couldn't contain my excitement and immediately showed SE the photo of the baby his eyes softened as he was

Charmed by the baby's cuteness I felt a wave of relief at his reaction although he had always said he liked children I had my doubts about whether he truly meant it I worried that his reluctance to save money was due to a lack of interest in having children but from his reaction it seemed he would cherish our future children as well feeling reassured I remembered something and said to scen who was still admiring the photo I've already sent my sister a gift and some money for the baby his expression immediately darkened and he glared at

me with clear disatisfaction you restrict gifts to my parents but spend so much on your sister he said clearly upset as I stood there in shock he continued to complain and you sent it without discussing it with me his self-righteousness made me lose my temper and I responded sharply how can you say that when you always secretly give gifts to your parents this is for a baby celebration not for no reason at all if you can't accept that then let's agree to stop giving gifts entirely I worried that I had overstepped but the words were

out and I couldn't backtrack perhaps the idea of being forbidden from giving gifts was too much for him to accept but he didn't argue further and fell silent his face remained displeased but I took it as a sign that he had reluctantly agreed a few days after our argument I received a call from my mother-in-law as soon as I answered she started with I I heard your sister had a baby realizing my husband had shared this news I confirmed yes that's right I expected her to offer congratulations or chat about the baby but instead she

asked so I heard you gave her a present is that true take it AB by her directness I replied yes I sent something for the baby to my surprise she responded cheerfully well I hope you'll have something for our anniversary next week too I'm looking forward to it her request felt a bit polite but it was better than having seen make an expensive purchase on his own I agreed and ended the call for my in-laws anniversary I decided to send a practical pair of glasses I braced myself for a complaint but none came and time

went by without incident I had been too quick to judge my in-law's but recent events made me realize my mistake one day my mother-in-law visited our home with a brand new luxury bag beaming with delight she admired the bag and thanked me saying thank you for the $ 4,000 back I was stunned believing that our anniversary gift was merely a pair of glasses I complained to scene I feel awful about this my shock left me barely able to whisper but I chose not to address it with her at the time she seemed oblivious to my

reaction and cheerfully mentioned she was heading out to lunch with friends after she left I rushed to the bank we had three accounts individual accounts from before our marriage and a joint account we opened after tying the knot the joint account showed no significant withdrawals but checking our personal accounts revealed that $800 had been withdrawn from cen's account and $4,000 from mine when my husband came home I confronted him about the missing money but he dismissed my concerns I thought it would be unfilial to give just glasses for the anniversary so I used my account

to cover dad and yours to cover mom he explained seeing my anger he grew flustered and insisted it wasn't a big deal since he hadn't touched the joint account as I remained silent his frustration mounted why would you only get glasses for the anniversary I went out of my way to make sure both of them were covered he argued realizing the conversation was going nowhere I grabbed the carry bag I had packed earlier and quickly left the house I could hear him shouting behind me but I ignored it and walked away when I arrived at

my parents house they greeted me at the door clearly surprised by my sudden return my intention to divorce left them even more shocked as I hadn't mentioned anything about it before it must have come as a surprise I explained the Deep differences in values and thinking between my husband his parents and myself detailing the recent incident with the luxury bag I shared how my fear of my assets being misused led me to decide on divorce my parents listened understood and supported my decision since I had already prepared for the divorce filing the petition and arranging

for a lawyer was straightforward once I confirmed that the affidavit had likely reached him my husband began trying to contact me repeatedly his voicemails filled up with messages which I initially listened to however as his messages grew increasingly angry I stopped listening and chose not to respond the divorce proceedings with my husband went much smoother than I had anticipated thanks to my thorough preparations since we worked in different Departments of the same company news of our divorce spread quickly although he attempted to claim that I left of my own accord his life eyes were quickly

disproven I had already informed my boss and colleagues about my intention to divorce along with the reasons and the issues with my husband in his family despite any false information he might have spread my boss and colleagues who knew the real story promptly refuted it my husband only made things worse for himself by propagating falsehoods he faced cold stares from colleagues and was pressured by his boss to resolve the matter quickly given his naturally timid nature it seemed he couldn't handle the pressure under increasing pressure he agreed to the divorce unable to handle the hostile

environment at work he resigned and moved back in with his parents however things didn't improve there rumors about him and his parents had spread beyond the office reaching our relatives as well thanks to a family member who worked at the company the reception was icy returning to his parents home only further damaged his reputation the neighborhood viewed him as someone who had been abandoned by his wife and his parents known for flaunting their luxury and looking down on others only worsened the situation although the exact source of the leaks was unclear the rumors circulated quickly

facing disapproval and cold stares from those around them my ex-husband and his parents lost their former arrogance and became notably subdued their once beloved collection of luxury goods came to an end when my ex-husband lost his income forcing them to sell off their possessions a relative who used to work with us informed me that the relationship between my ex-husband and his parents had become Frosty filled with mutual blame I felt indifferent to this news they had become irrelevant to me after our separation I've been living stress-free and enjoying each day the steady increase in my

bank account now that I'm no longer burdened with saving brings me great joy my enthusiasm for work has returned previously my earnings were drained by gifts for my in-laws which was disheartening but that's no longer an issue I've also been able to give my parents the gifts I truly wanted to something I couldn't afford before they initially said that what they had received was enough but once I explained it was for my personal satisfaction they happily accept it seeing their reaction lifted the guilt I have felt as for love I plan to take a break

but if the opportunity for remarriage arises I hope to apply the lessons I've learned from these experiences