what's up YouTube Welcome Back to the channel I am coach black I am your internet relationship and breakup coach I'm excited to be here today because we're going to talk about a very important subject it's a question I get every single day for my coaching clients and it has to do with why does your ex keep texting you after the breakup before we get started I'd ask that you like this video you share and you subscribe to the channel it really does help me out and it gets this message out to anyone else out there
across the world that are dealing with relationship issues and breakups I'm going to call this video the four types of texts that your ex will send you after a breakup these four texts it's important for you to understand the distinction because it's going to dictate the way you respond to your ex text number one is the status update text these types of texts usually come right after the breakup they're very matter of fact there's no emotion behind them your ex is basically asking you questions about things that maybe needed to get completed after the breakup
for example if you had an apartment with your ex and maybe you're closing out your lease and there's some documents that you need to exchange or some signatures that need to happen these are very straight to the point keep in mind right after the breakup your ex is going to be in the relief stage they are still excited about their prospects for the future and moving on with their new life without you so usually attacks are going to be straight to the point not a ton of emotion behind them just matter of fact in trying
to gather information from you now sometimes if you went into no contact quickly your ex is also trying to fish and figure out how you're doing how you're feeling the best way to respond to these especially texts that come after the breakup is to be short you to the point if there's documents and paperwork and basically business things that you have to handle with your ex you need to accommodate those requests right no contact is about showing yourself as mature responsible right capable of doing what's right for both you and your ex and moving on
with your life as an adult so you don't ignore your ex especially when they're asking perfectly legitimate questions okay so I know you're going to be hurting right now and if this is going to be difficult but you have to respond but keep it short and get out of these conversations as soon as possible text not text message number two I like to call these the bestie text all right this is when it's been a few weeks since the breakup and you've been in no contact and your ex is starting to realize that you're not
hurting as much as they expected you do it too you're not reaching out to them you're not calling them and now they are worried right they are a little bit um curious as to how it was so easy for you to just get over the breakup and so they start to throw little breadcrumbs at you just to see how you react remember this is still for your ex's ego oh they want to know that you're hurting they want to sense a little bit of pain it makes them feel attractive it makes your ex feel like
they are so wonderful that you couldn't just easily move on without you and so they'll bait you with little friendly tags like I'll just checking on you just wanted to see how you've been our work has been crazy I don't want to engage with your ex in these types of text messages again to select the first type you want to keep it as short as possible if your ex is persistent even when you're not being very responsive you're taking hours to respond to these types of texts in the hopes that your ex gets the message
and leaves you alone if they continue to ignore enforce conversations what you do is you set a boundary you tell them hey I have no interest in being friends you asked for a breakup and I do want to respect your wishes right now I just want to focus on myself in my life and forward I do wish you the best if you want to see me or if you want to talk in person that's fine you can arrange a date for us to get together but I really do not have any interest in and be
friends that's all you say now at this point more than likely your ex is going to leave you alone for the time being you're gonna be feeling a little confused as to how you're able to resist it this is what makes no contact so powerful demonstrating to your exit you can resist him they're not so wonderful they're not so attractive cannot move on that you cannot tell them no to the breadcrumbs because what your ex is trying to do is they're trying to give you less than what you're asking for and so you have to
say no okay so when you push back on that the next type of text that you're likely to see is the angry text the angry text is when your ex realizes and this doesn't apply to all X's but some x's when they realize that they're not getting their way with you they're not able to get you to react in the ways that they expected now all of a sudden you're posting on social media maybe on vacation you're just trying to have a good time with yourself and your friends your family all of a sudden you
get a text from your ex and they're angry right they're either bringing up issues from the past or they're insulting you about things that you supposedly said about them maybe they're even questioning your character and saying oh this is what you wanted all along this is your ex's way of trying to get a reaction they're trying to get you to do something they want some emotion they want to know that you care now what you do in these types of cases is one you let time de-escalate things you want to take as long as possible
before you respond and when you do if your ex did cross a boundary with the anger you say hey we do not talk to each other in that way we talk to each other with respect so when you're ready to talk to me from a better place and be kind and respectful I'll be happy to have a conversation with you then this is all about setting a boundary with your ex letting your ex know every single time that they try to push at you that you're strong you're confident and you will not be mistreated this
is important because your ex will start to realize that if they want to have a conversation with you if they miss you so much and they want to be a part of your life they have to treat you as someone of value and this is so beautiful because it's at this point that your ex is going to start to do the work for you it's at this point that your ex is going to start to have that internal battle and question if they made the right decision right are they truly losing you forever and this
is when the fourth text comes the fourth text is a little more genuine right this is the can I see you text I miss you I'm sorry right that is the last stage and it usually comes when your ex is starting to regret their decision so be patient if you're only seeing texts like status updates bestie texts for the most part you need to be ignoring those dismissing notes being as short as possible and getting out of those conversations stick with no contact I'm telling you it is so effective and so powerful and you'll be
surprised how quickly it can change your excess Stone and completely shift their attitude anyway I hope you found this video helpful and impactful if you did please go ahead and leave a like it really does help out a lot if you have questions about your relationship and your breakup and you need help click the link in my bio and you can book a one-on-one coaching session with me and I will be happy to walk you through the Journey of either getting your ex back or moving on into a relationship that's a lot better with someone
who loves and cherishes you once again I'm coach black and it's been my pleasure talking to you leave a like comment and I will catch you in the next video peace
