olá, pessoa exausta [depressão, apatia e desabafo]

She's so affectionate Sometimes I wake up and try to leave my bed But she begs me to stay there With her All-day She's so kind I did everything that she hates Therapy Medication Exercise Popcorn And still, she didn't gave up on me She's so wise When I'm not ok and feel like venting She shows me that it's best to bottle up So I don't become a burden to people She's so jealous I had to stay away from almost everyone For her to get satisfied And it wasn't really that hard Because. . .

When I'm with her. . .

It's like everything else loses importance It's like everything else loses importance When we're— When we're together nothing looks r34l—? I c0mpletely lose sense 0f t1me Wh4At 3ls3 can 1 do? A *silence* [music] ♫She makes me lose my head!

♫ Nostalgia: Who doesn't find peace in the present looks for it in the past Distortion: When someone makes you see the world differently Self-fulfilling prophecy: When you believe in something so much that it becomes true You have a message! ♫ ♫ [STOP CRYING] [✘GO BACK TO WORK] [GO BACK TO WORK] [GO BACK TO WORK] [UNGRATEFUL] Why should I get out? Depression Why should I dress up?

Serious (depression) Why should I shave? Everything is sad Nothing is worth it It's a serious diseasE E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E [STOP CRYING] [✘GO BACK TO WORK] [UNGRATEFUL] [GO BACK TO WORK] [UNGRATEFUL] Hello dear person! Today's lesson is: emptiness According to the quantum physics emptiness doesn't exist The emptiness that concept that we saw.

. . .

. . 1000 times in school Where all is empty and sound doesn't travel It isn't actually that empty Inside it on the quantum level there's energy that is created then destroys itself The— virtual particles.

Including that it was measured on lab There's people that think this could explain the start of the universe 7h3r3's p30pl3 7h4t 7h1nk 7hi5 c0uld 3xplain th3 st4r7 0f 7h3 un1v3rs3 That is, quantum physics suggest that "empty empty" is a illusion Even though we can't see anything, there is some things there [EMPTY] [EMPTY] [EMPTY] [EMPTY] [EMPTY] [EMPTY] [EMPTY] something went wrong with this video I will talk about it now if you don't like serious topics you don't need to continue [SORRY] I will not be able to finish this video If you were able to see it until now you must be really confused Sorry My intention was to represent all the confusion really But the end of it would make more sense I intended to show the hope But I couldn't find energy to do that dunno. . .

I'm feeling very. . .

exhausted Feels like everything is a reason to want to disappear Out there. . .

looks like people turned politics into some kind of religion with gods that shouldn't be questioned the big difference is maybe that religion wants you to respect others, right? politics don't even. .

Maybe it was always like this and I didn't notice? dunno. .

I just know that I find this really bizarre At this point I don't even know if it matters who wins this mess Because. . we already lost our humanity Here inside I feel like I'm letting time slip through my hands insomnia.

. . anxiety.

. . apathy.

. . the sensation that I'm walking in circles.

. . The only thing that gives me peace is when someone says: "Hey, you're not crazy" "I know what you are talking about" That's why I was intending to end the video in a way like "Well if you know what I'm talking about.

. . great!

Don't give up! " "Everything will be okay" But I. .

. Dunno I. .

. I don't know if I really believe this, you know? Sorry for dragging you into this hole Because.

. . This video doesn't inform.

. . doesn't enternain.

. . is not fun.

. . It's just a expression of my tiredness And I can't imagine something less interesting than this It has been 4 years that I fell into a fossa and I can't escape Problems with bipolar disorder and mainly clinical depression This year — after being hospitalized — I finally started treating myself with a specialist But.

. . unfortunately some of the crises are coming back stronger than before Reminds me of those giants from skyrim, you know?

That you throw a punch, thinking it will cause some damage, but he counter-attacks and makes you fly to the other side of the map I think that is the part not really commented on about mental illnesses After passing through a long time creating courage to admit the problem and face a psychologist. . .

a psychiatrist. . .

You discover that it doesn't end there The medication has side effects. . .

the treatment costs time and money. . .

depending of your problem you may have to do the double amount of effort to be like a normal person At the end of the day even after doing everything right nothing stops you from relapsing and not be able to sleep without thinking about killing yourself It's not fair not logical And the internal conflict this brings is absurd Because if you vent out it's just like you're victimizing yourself On the other hand if you try to keep it in it's like that thing would erode you away And if you had been dealing with this mental exhaustion I really feel sorry for you I have no story of success to tell you and the truth is that I know really little about life But I really insist about the idea of compassion When you hug a broken person. . .

when you stop to hear a stranger on the internet complaining. . .

like me w When everything is going wrong and you decide to forgive yourself Compassion all of this is compassion If you are a person that lets the environment influence you that is my case. . .

even if you aren't on the bottom of this there must be a hellish noise in your head now I hope you can turn down the volume of it and find the compassion inside of you About the future of this channel for who's interested I will try to create simpler videos At least while I still deal with these problems Because I really can't do it Thank you for watching until now Sorry for all this tone of melancholy And. .