From country music legend to Hollywood icon, there's very little Dolly Parton can't do. But her sense of humor might just be one of her best talents. These are her greatest moments.
Well, I've always had big, but [laughter] but I've had a little help lately. You have? Yeah.
Well, when my husband said, "Let me see your boobs. " And had to pull my skirt up. I thought I better get him.
[laughter] Working with Jennifer Aniston was a thrilling experience for Dolly Parton, but it was her husband who seemed even more excited about the pairing. Have you known Jennifer Aniston for a while? You know, I love her to death.
My husband is crazy about her. Really? Yes.
And he was more excited that I was going to do a movie uh with her than he was that I got the chance to write all this music. See, I think he kind of fantasizes like a threesome. We can't even get it out to pay much.
Let's get it off the plane. [cheering] Before New York and all the trouble that came with it, Dolly Parton grew up in a small town where one woman left a lasting impression on her. The woman that I was most impressed with when I was a little girl was the town but I didn't know what that meant.
This woman had the yellow proxide hair. She had the red nails, the red lipstick, the beautiful eyes, the high heels, short skirt. And I thought she was the prettiest thing I'd ever seen.
and whoever I was with say, "Oh, she ain't nothing but trash. " And I make [clears throat] the joke and I would say, "Well, that's what I'm going to be when I grow up. " [laughter] Meaning, that's how I want to look.
The song, but it turned out Jolene, what was it based on? Jolene. Well, the real story was about my husband, you know, this woman.
I tell the story about this girl that worked at the bank when we first got married, you know, this beautiful redhead, and he's spending more time at the bank than we had money. And I thought, well, that ain't gonna work out too good. No.
Yeah. But anyway, so uh that's kind of what that was based on. But just so you know, I did see Jolene not long ago.
Oh, yeah. Uh she she's not so hot now. She she she's not, you know, she used to have that beautiful red hair.
Now now she's gray. She used to have a little tight butt. Now she can't get it's a tight spot getting her butt through the door.
Now she is serious. And she used to wear a decup. Now she's wearing dup pins.
We were in the restaurant and so we were having our our meal and this old man came over to our table and he sat down and he was just talking to us and we were all laughing. We didn't know him and we just, you know, we were all just kind of and then so he finally he left and we finished. So I went up to pay the bill and the the man said, "Well, your grandpa uh left his bill here, too.
" I said, "My grandpa? " So that old man had come over and kind of scammed us. And so I said, "Well, that was not my grandpa, but I paid it, of course.
" So when we left, I walked down the street and he was standing there at the light and you know, we walked to the corner. And so I went over to him. I said, "Hey, I would have been happy, you know, to have paid your your bill, you know.
" I said, "But uh don't you tell him you're my grandpa? " And he took his walking stick. And he started just beating me across the chest.
I mean, just as hard as he could. Just wham, wham, wham, wham, wham. And it hurt.
Oh my gosh. I know. But really, but then what what what happened?
What do you mean what happened? [laughter] These two big lumps came up and they never did go down. Gotcha.
What does Dolly Parton smell smell like? Well, why don't you come over here and see? Come on, [cheering] get over here.
[laughter] How you like it? Oh, you was all over me the last time. Tell me more.
Tell me more. There you go. I got to buy this.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
I want it for me. I got a buzz off of that. Let me tell you girls, you never get too old to dream or fantasize.
[laughter] I felt that one. I felt that. [cheering] Hello everybody.
And hello Ellen. Well, hello Dolly. I just popped my top, but it's all right.
It's probably not the first time. No, it's not. With all the wild stories and wardrobe malfunctions, Dolly Parton was also behind some of the greatest love songs of all time.
But one of her biggest tracks came from a very different kind of love. And if you open with that, what do you what do you close with? Well, actually do a little bit of I will always love you.
That's the way I close all my shows. Have for many, many years. It actually wasn't even about uh love really.
when you first Well, no, it was about love. But when I wrote it, I worked with a man named Porter Wagner for years and I started out on his TV show. And so I had said when I started that I'd stay for five years, but I wanted to have my own career.
And so when the time came, we were very successful and I wanted to go and he didn't want me to go and we fought a lot anyway cuz I was stubborn and he was stubborn and it was one of those lovehate relationships. So anyway, he wasn't hearing of it and it was just breaking my heart. So I went home and I wrote this song.
So the next morning I went down and I said, "Porter, sit down. I want to sing you a song. " So I started singing it.
He started crying. He said, "Well, you can go if I can produce that song. " [laughter] Oh gosh.
Do it right there. And the rest was history. Oh my gosh.
Speaking of being 17, Johnny Cash was my first encounter with what I thought sex appeal was. Feeling really drawn to someone. I mean, I saw him on stage and I just felt things that I'd never felt before.
Right. I did cuz he had that funny way, you know, like how Elvis did. I didn't know what the all the feelings were, but I something special, something different about people.
Well, like yourself as well. You know, you you you you see it immediately. There's a magnetism or something.
Oh, am I turning you on, am I? Dolly Parton's funniest stories come from her childhood in the Smokies. And this one involves a bear who became a little too fond of Coca-Cola.
uh in Pigeon Forge many years ago back when I was a kid, they had a bear in a cage. You know, we're famous for the bears and the smokies and they had a bear in a big cage up there and people would stop at this market [snorts] and uh they would buy Cokes for this bear. It was in the cage and this poor bear was just drinking them all and one day some redneck put No, seriously.
They put um gasoline in a Coke can. Can you believe how bad people are? And the poor thing just went crazy and it broke out of the of the pin and it just ran all the way down, you know, and it was just going down there and then, you know, all of a sudden it just fell over.
Oh, no. Dead. No, it's out of gas.
You know, it's like I know how I was at 17. I remember stealing the shoulder pads out of my grandma's winter coat to make a push-up bra. That was before that was before Frederick's had him.
In fact, I think I gave them that idea. It's true cuz I remember feeling like I was sexy. I wanted to have sexy clothes, you know.
I was really feeling myself then and I was just looking for somebody else to do it. [laughter] I didn't mean to go there, but it's true. You have one of the smallest waist I've ever seen.
Well, I don't know if it's my waist a little. It's just my just in contrast. I Yeah, maybe.
But [applause] but what you do? You can't be more than 22, 23. I'm about 22 right now.
I still got a little bit of of weight to lose, but I've always been lucky in that way. Well, don't lose my image. Well, [laughter] you know, you know, I got I can't take all your joking material away from you.
No, no, I wouldn't. You were quite poor when you grew up and that you actually ate things that you caught. Well, yeah, you do in the mountains when you're country people.
It sounds awful when you read it and people think, "Oh, you go around eating possum and groundhog and squirrel and rabbit, but that's what you do. You don't, you know, you either that or you go hungry. " What is it like, for example, what does it taste like?
What does squirrel taste like? It's good. It's sweet.
It tastes like chicken. It's just tastes like rabbit. People still serve rabbit in restaurants.
I've even seen rabbit served in So, in Central Park, if I see a squirrel go by, I should grab it. You'll see. Well, I don't eat that anymore, but there's nothing better than possum under glass.
Is that true? No. Does Do people eat possum?
Cuz I grew up my one of my favorite shows of all time, Beverly Hillbillies, and Granny's always cooking up possum. And I thought, is that real? Do people eat pawsum?
If you're really really in bad shape, you eat possum. My dad never would let us eat possum. He said, "That ain't nothing but a damn rat.
" And it's true. Then he said, "Pass the [laughter] squirrel. " It is a wonderful park and we have been there 25 years.
And so to celebrate, we did a special, as you mentioned, for Hallmark Hall. All right. Who's on that special?
Well, my good friend Kenny Rogers who I love. We've worked together forever. He had to be on it because we get along so well.
We agree on everything, right? Even our appointments with our cosmetic surgeons, they never collide. And I'm telling you, [applause] if you've ever wondered what really gets under Dolly Parton's skin, she has a few pet peeves that might surprise you.
Okay. Smartass MC's who introduced me by saying, "And now here they are, Dolly Parton. [applause] Number two, when the Super Bowl is over, winner never says, "Hey, I'm going to Dollywood.
" That's right. And now, the number one Dolly Parton pet peeve. Nobody notices I've got a great ass, too.
No, I have at least 365. One for each day. One for every date.
Oh, yeah. This is your twin sister. This is my twin.
Yeah. From behind, you're like, "Oh my god, sis. " Yeah.
No, it's not sister. You should put it on. [cheering] Yeah.
No, let me see. Yeah, you should see if you can get that on. You have a smaller head than me.
Let me see this. Let me see. Oh.
