human beings by Nature are always striving to grow to reach Greater Heights that's just the way we are they asked one of the people who climbed Mount Everest why do you climb Mount Everest why do you try to reach to the top of the mountain he says because it's there we stared into the heavens and developed NASA and other space programs of different countries simply to satisfy our curiosity what's out there is there life out there there's something about us that looks to achieve and continuously achieve and grow but what is the formula what's the
method to achieving greatness in whatever area you are so we hear about persistence about Drive about ambition about competition there's one critical component ingredient that when you learn to to master it and actually as we'll see mastering may not even be the right word it actually can open up completely new doors New Horizons new possibilities and that is getting out of your comfort zone yeah it sounds almost cliche but it carries a tremendously profound concept remember the very word comfort and comfort zone tells you that you're comfortable there and that's why it's so difficult to
get out of there why would anyone want to leave a comfort zone if you're comfortable if you're protected you feel secure why would you venture out and take a risk and yet that is the secret so let's talk about that getting out of comfort zones as much as we strive for excellence we also have a need to fit in to conform we want to be liked we want to be respected we don't want to seem weird or strange or stand out yeah there's always a certain element of originality creativity but within a framework out of
the box to some extent but not completely where You' be seen as bizarre as nutty or worse why is that because we're social creatures as social creatures we need support validation which is a healthy thing the question is to what extent what price are we ready to pay to conform I'd like to share Oliver Wendel Holmes I'll call a devastating poem The the voiceless alas to those that die with their song Still inside them why do we St how can we die with our song Still inside us it seems so tragic is because we sing
other people's songs let's begin from the beginning now young informative years as children impressionable impacted by our parents our immediate family siblings then by our schools and educ and Educators and then by Society all of that I don't want to use the word conspires because it may not be malicious but it ends up creating a person meaning you and I who want to make others happy and especially if we have parents are overbearing or in any other way very critical with very high expectations and demands do we end up singing our own song or we
sing their song healthy parents give you a sense of confidence and security but they also and they give you also expectations but they also give you a sense of Independence a vote of confidence in your own self-esteem so as you grow older you learn to sing your song not someone else's you were born an original don't become a copy but we do become copies and at some point in our lives you can ask yourself who am I am I me my real me singing my song or am I literally following and fulfilling the script of
someone else not an easy question to answer because we can be convinced that it's me but you're really just doing something that someone else expected of you whether again intentional or not intentional in addition to parental as I said it's our education it's our society it's the media we're inundated I mean today I don't know the number but there used to be the statistic that by the time we're age 20 we've seen or read or watched over a million advertisements and advertisements are selling you something a look an object a place that if you do
this if you drink this if you travel here if you dress this way you'll he'll be a better person of course it has to leave us with feelings of inadequacy first of all we can't buy all the products it's essentially marketing it has a positive side that when it's selling a good product that a lot of it is driven or all of it is driven by commercialization and a lot of it has nothing to do with your real value when's the last time you saw a billboard or an advertisement saying you are valuable because you
are you without a phone number and without an address without an email without a website or email address birth is God saying you matter truly healthy Lov people loved ones in our lives will tell us that so no one's investing in you which makes it so difficult therefore to really discover yourself and going back to the Comfort Zone that's the comfort zone the comfort zone is what you have in your mindset and your framework have determined is what you think will make you happy and it could very well be satisfying others I mean obviously it
can go to the extreme where you're just a pleaser and you you you loathe confrontation you'll always Retreat or something in between a variation of that now it's healthy to have obviously friends and community and a Social Circle and support system that you fit into that's not what we're discussing the question is how much is it impeding and impinging on your autonomy on your self and that's why it's so it so much more emphasizes the need to know how to get out of your comfort zone additionally Comfort zones create a situation where there's no motivation
you're comfortable you're feeling good and I can tell you this from my work which is essentially Inspire inspirational motivational speaking and writing helping people grow when somebody is very satisfied whether whether they actually are or not but they think they are very very difficult because they say my life is fine I remember when K struck in the 2020 so all for the for all the tragedies and the deaths which I witnessed unfortunately as so many of us did but there was something very fascinating that happened the disruption and yes the stripping of our comfort zones
and our security blankets suddenly people had it all planned out they know where they were traveling for the winter that winter and then the summer going to school going to work and entertainment going to a game everything suddenly stopped it was sad to see in many ways could people suddenly we lost their bearings coordinates you know the things that I always Define my life I know what I have to wake up in the morning going to work no there's no going to work now or you have a planned weekend no we're getting together with family
for the holiday or for whatever no no school kids at home people were thrust into a whole new environment out of their comfort zone it brought out the worst in some but it brought out the best in others and Warren Buffett's words about investment fin financials that until the tide is out you don't know who's been swimming naked right cuz when the tide is out everybody seems to be swimming nicely but then when the tide is in we're exposed and that's when you see who you really are and that perhaps explains why often though no
one should ever know of this tragedy loss death other traumatic experiences bring new levels of growth because they're like a wakeup call they Force you out of your comfort zone again no one should ever know that you would all love to be able to bottle a formula where you can get out of your comfort zone without without pain but there's nothing like pain nothing like loss because there you cannot stay where you are or even if you want to so of course we all go into a state of denial but there comes a point where
you forced out of your comfort zone and I can't resist always the the my own personal story somewhat of a when I was young I remember summer came and I had learned how to swim so I was a decent swimmer but then came one summer I decided I want to learn how to dive I saw good divers different types of Dives the Swan Dive I remember the the the racers dive the different Dives out there just a regular dive no nothing I got on the diving board in the swimming pool in our Bungalow Colony running
all excited as soon as I came to the edge of the diving board I froze froze wouldn't dive try it again another time no I remember a day passed okay tomorrow in the morning I'll do it then I realize maybe the diving board is a little too high maybe I'm afraid I'll dive from the edge of the pool same problem now I knew how to swim wasn't like I was afraid of water and so what was the problem what's the what's the worst thing you have a belly flop you know there the myths that after
breakfast or lunch you dive your stomach can burst open it's not something I believe in but so what was the problem a summer passed I remember the next summer I decided ah I know I know what I'll do instead of standing on the edge of the pool I'll sit that the edge of the pool and I'll just lean in and fall in and then once I do that I'll have the courage to jump in standing then go back to the diving board even that didn't work and I remember the countdowns okay I'm counting down 10
9 8 okay we'll count from 100 100 99 98 one count another count finally here's what happened a friend of mine had a little compassion for me he snuck up behind me while I'm middle of one of these counts and just push me in and that was it once I fell in I said he then I dived standing then I learned to dive from the diving board and it was all good I always wondered what was the problem again if I was afraid of water it's one thing and I came up with a theory in
the water I was comfortable on on the ground I was comfortable but there's that Split Second you're not on the ground and you're not in the water you're out of your comfort zone it's a split second but there's some type of subconscious fear because you're suspended you're not here you're not there you don't where you you don't have your bearings so it creates a fear then I remember hearing from a fellow the secret to tight rope walking I've never done a tight RPP walking what's the secret to tight RPP walking some most people think it's
balance a lot of training you balance yourself you walk on a tight rope it's much more than that obviously balance is important it's Focus it's finding a focal point that the tight RPP Walker looks at and make sure I'm getting to that type that to that line straightest line to that point without wavering and the tight RPP Walker who explained this the secret said and where do you when do you think is the most difficult type of tight rope walking difficult part of tight rope walking everyone thinks in middle cuz you're not at the beginning
you're not at the end you suspended the middle even if there's a net below you have nowhere to hold on to he says no when you make the turn because when you make the turn you lose your focal point you have to create a new focal point on the other side again that focal point is what creates the but when we lose that for a moment because we've had had a focal point and now we need to find a new one that's the discomfort but that's where magic happens that's where the growth happens getting out
of your comfort zone I mean I cannot tell you how many people I've advised and obviously we have to find what a person's comfort zone is we'll talk about that and how it's helped and it could be a small shift we're not talking here anything dramatic and drastic a small shift that small shift is what opens up new possibilities we s our we're so we're so so what's the word I want to use we're so obsessed with holding on to that which holds which US that keeps us safe and comfortable that doesn't let us really
grow so you don't let go it's like the first day you go to school a child goes to school you cry first time a child goes to some Camp everything something changes there's a certain fear the fear of the unknown and it's all legitimate we're not trying to suggest that that's normal but at the same time the key to understanding that is when you get out of your comfort zone that's where the growth takes place I remember my organization meaningful Life Center it's a nonprofit organization so in the beginning I did the work I taught
I gave classes I did my writing but I realized for it to grow we need to raise money raising money was getting out of a comfort zone it was not easy for me still not easy I have to ask someone they can reject me fear of rejection need the sense of the Hy dependency on someone and as much as I said to myself you know I'm giving as much as I'm taking and receiving and it's a good cause wasn't like I'm doing something illegal or something I'm ashamed of on the contrary but there's something about
asking another but when I began doing it and I realized the more uncomfortable I was the more the greater I became not greater as a great fundraiser the greater because I got out of that discomfort and I said if you really believe in it put yourself on the line yes you put yourself on the line I remember vividly when I began I had a we had someone one of one of people used to come to my class had experience in fundraising and he I said we need to raise a certain amount cuz I wanted to
grow he wanted to get a location we want to expand programming more people hire new people you have to have the money for that so he said to me let's create some meetings with some of the people that come to your class tell them clearly you want to talk about your plans and to get their help and I'll help you out and we did that we had a meeting in someone's office 10 people came I presented the vision then and then he said we need three things we need your commitment financially if you will willing
to consider to partner bring someone else in and time any time you're ready ready to give to help out reaction generally was pretty positive but they always pushed back and I remember once in one one meeting woman who I knew for quite a long time very fine person suddenly got all upset and said what was unique about you Rabbi Jacobson was you never asked for money all the rabbis and all the people they always have a strings attached you Tau was pure no money involved and now you're asking very disappointing and I remember right away
having a Pang of feeling like not guiled but I felt exactly very uncomfortable but what she said actually got my juices going and I said to her and to the others I said you know you have a good point but I think what I was doing till now was staying out of my comfort staying in my comfort zone and not wanting to be uncomfortable the fact is all of you ra either make money or have money to pay your bills but you have to do something about that we have to raise money there's no way
around for me to grow it's uncomfortable very uncomfortable you make you're making me very uncomfortable but then I realized Moses the great Moses himself after he receives the Torah and he is the ultimate content the ultimate teacher the ultimate mentor and God says to him now go raise money and build a temple a holy Temple he doesn't delegate it doesn't hire good fundraisers and de directors of development get out of your comfort zone and Moses himself because if you believe in it yes you put yourself on the line and I realized that until now I
was being comfortable and also letting you be more comfortable and maybe I was cultivating I didn't say the word parasite maybe I was cultivating people who are just taking without giving I'm not saying you have to give but it's not a fair thing to to say that if you all the years you've learned from me now suddenly you're disappointed because I'm saying let's build something anyway I was proud of what I said even though it was very difficult for me to do so everybody was pretty shocked they never heard me speak that way but I
went out of my comfort zone I got a call from this woman later she says you're th% right I have issues with money my father used money in our family it was not you it's you it was me and she made a commitment every month for years she gave every month a certain pledge so God do you get out of your comfort zone and what happened to me I could say it opened up new channels the meaningful Life Center would not be what it is today had I not done that and it was very uncomfortable
and it still is you know now we're at the end of the year and have to raise money at the end of the year this is the time it's not comfortable but is the only way to become great so how do you get out of your comfort zone well in my situation there examples you find the cause a focal point I can use that example as well you really believe in and your belief in it and commitment to it is stronger than your discomfort like they say people choose the path of least resistance if the
least resistance is doing something that makes you uncomfort it makes you makes you least resistance means something that makes that keeps you comfortable then you're not going to do much but if it's but if the resistance me mean that you want to grow and that growth is more important to you than the resistance of going to raise money that's what you'll do using that example what I would advise to each one of us you know sometimes they say about giving giving until it hurts but it's not just about financial it's not just about charity it's
also so in all of our Lives it's a fascinating chapter chapter 15 in the classic book The Tanya where he talks about this he talks about a custom in the talur times where they would study the text they would study they would review it 100 times that was the custom at the time pretty much how many people review their uh studies 100 times but the Tama goes on and says if someone does that they're not considered to be someone that's working at it it's not aod in Hebrew it's not effort there's no effort involved it's
routine it's your comfort zone but if you study 101 you go one more than the 100 that's considered an achievement now this is not dismissing the 100 firstly you can't get the 10 one without a 100 it's not dismissing it's just telling us the Trap of routines and habits so I would suggest to each one of us and the three areas that I often talk about the spiritual Spa study prayer action cognitive emotional and behavioral conditioning let's begin with the cognitive if you don't study something every day begin yeah make it a new routine it's
not going to be easy in the beginning because creating a new routine is getting out of your comfort zone 5 minutes a day if you're doing it 5 minutes do it for 6 minutes whatever ever it is that you are do something you have not done before same thing in the emotional realm a prayer a song some emotional conditioning some emotional experience and the same thing behaviorally a good deed a charitable act volunteer share a kind word whatever you've done do something a little more that's not your usual do something unusual unexpected it's not about
quantity it's just the shift from 100 to 101 or from zero to one or one to two you will see that it will open up New Horizons and new possibilities because what you've done is a qualitative shift it may be small when you look at it objectively but for you it's big because it's a shift and a shift breaths a shift and comfort zones breathe Comfort zones which means breathing it breeds staying where you are if you ain't busy being born you're busy dying in other words you're trying to always create something push a little
so number one it brings you alive but also creates new opportunities or do they say insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results I like to put it this way if you think what you thought and you say what you said and you do what you did what will you have what you had so mathematical certainty you think differently you say something differently you do something differently then cause and effect action and reaction it will create a different response this is true across the board your marriage is stagnating another relationship is getting stale
introduce something new something fresh fresh air do something that surprises your part partner surprises the other surprises yourself that's how where the magic happens that's where things change and shift but you have to initiate that you have to be proactive I mentioned before sometimes it happens to us things events that happen especially not pleasant ones Force you out of your comfort zone but why do you need to wait for that why should we ever have that initiate on your own it sounds simple but implementing is the difficulty because we are trapped in our routines the
book The Power of Habit few years ago makes this case why habit so hard to break because a habit is a part of the program that your mind creates when it sees you repeat something many times so it just stores it as a macro like an automatic pilot that in the morning with what you always do is you shower you brush your teeth and the mind says why do we need to process it I'll just create an automatic process like pressing a button on the computer and automatical sequence triggers a sequence of of of uh
actions and reactions once that's already embedded in our routines it's very hard to break because the mind has already registered it and it reserves the real brain power for new things so whether it's 18 times that creates a habit and therefore you need e 18 times to break a habit whatever the number is you're trying to break that sequence which is really a benefit to us but it works against us when we need to get out of our comfort zone say I don't have time I already have a schedule every morning why you how could
I add five more minutes well it comes down to priorities and it comes down to the importance of Shifting so it's the small shifts that create major change and you see the results not doesn't have to take years you can see it pretty quickly and it's also in ourselves it creates the ability to try out new things makes you young you're not trapped as many people say I'm trapped you're not locked you're not paralyzed you're not frozen you have that Mobility that flexibility that dexterity and when you do that you shift the world around you
one beautiful act one good word one nice thought tips the scale says my monores and brings Redemption to you enter the entire world and today with the scientific understanding of the butterfly effect the ripple effect we know how powerful that can be so may you be blessed to make those shifts in your life you're looking for change people say I want change in my life initiate change think a little differently speak a little differently do something a little differently outside of your comfort zone and you'll see changes within you and around you may you be
blessed with the courage with the strength the determination and I'd love to hear your feedback about this please share with me if you'd like of course and please share this with others this message is important to you please subscribe to our offerings meaningful life.com is our website our YouTube Channel please subscribe to that as well and again love to hear your feedback and thoughts be blessed and be well this has been Simmon Jacobson of the meaningful Life Center thank you this program is brought to you by the meaning F Life Center please help us continue
our programs make even a small contribution at meaningful life.com donate
