you might be waiting for something to change you might be waiting for something to happen a miracle a blessing anything for you to actually change and do something but honey nothing is going to happen if you do not decide to take control and to actually change something in your life nothing is going to change nobody is coming to save you and honestly nobody's obligated to save you not your mom not your sister not your brothers not your father no one is no one owes you that you owe it to yourself to actually get up and
do something about your life it's even funny to think that an external Source should help you or save you when you don't even care enough about yourself to do that for yourself I was that person once I had a victim mindset I thought that somebody needed to come and save me until I actually Chang things about my mind ET and my life completely changed in this video I will show you how you can change your life and what you actually need to do so please keep watching hi guys my name is Liz and welcome back
to my channel let's get right into it so first thing you need to do is realize your own self sabotages self- sabotage can look like for example you're not willing to accept help you don't uh accept even compliments from from people um you isolate yourself const constantly you abandon people or you create something before they hurt you because you don't want to get hurt you have to realize what are my self-sabotaging behaviors for me what my biggest self-sabotage was I had very low self-or so in that case I became like I would accept anything that
anyone does to me CU I Had No Boundaries and I I I did not feel worthy enough to stick up for myself I didn't value my own life I literally could not care if tomorrow I was not alive anymore honestly I think I would have been happier if I was not alive anymore so in that mindset I was like well whatever like I don't care about myself so if someone treats me badly I'll accept it because I don't care anyway so what happened for me I tended to attract people that started to use me abuse
me things like that because I would just allow it to happen that's the only thing I knew my whole life so for me it was normal it was comfortable until I actually was like wait a minute I can actually say no you are not allowed to treat me like that you will not treat me like that these are my boundaries you will not cross them and when I when I realized that I can actually say that my life changed and the way people treated me changeed I read a quote recently that said uh you do
do not attract toxic people toxic people go to everyone you are just allowing them to stay and that's the issue that is so true because they they're not picky toxic people are not picky they will go to anyone who is ready to like uh put pull them in so if you're ready to nurture toxic people if you have very low selfworth they will latch on to you all these toxic people narcissist everyone they will latch on to you cuz you're easy for them you're you're a victim really look at yourself and think okay in what
ways do I sabotage myself even when I have a healthy relationship right like uh right now I have a very healthy relationship in my life and it been so hard for me I had to work on this for almost a year now where I had to literally be okay with peace and be okay with a good person because even my partner he would constantly tell me like Liz I know that you grew up in an environment where a use and fights was normal but he's like I'm not willing to give that to you because I
would create fights with him because that's what I wanted I wanted that like what was comfortable for me what I knew all my life like someone to fight with me and then I could say look look you're the same you're exactly like everyone but he was not willing to give that to me he's like a very calm and stable person doesn't fight with me it's always very respectful so then I was like wo this is really hard for me to accept someone that does not hurt me but then I could really look at myself and
I could realize wo I am sabotaging myself so much cuz somebody is willing to give me love respect and I am like no hurt me in some way you know so I really had to work on that and now that I did work on it I can with all my relationships I can my friendships anyone that I meet anyone I can be like Hey listen these are my boundaries do not cross me another thing uh what I realized when I got out of my uh abusive household was what you have been taught is not a
fact what you have been taught your whole life is just what your parents have been taught by their parents and they have been taught by their parents and it goes a whole long way but those are not facts those are their beliefs with their lives that they have lived and learned from the people that have lived the same way but it's not bad or wrong for you to choose a different direction because what they told you that is right is what was right for them but you know Generations change the world changes nothing stays the
same and we have to evolve as well we cannot stay in with a generational mindset from so many years ago and take it into this world and just have that same mindset because you will not be able to thrive because other people have evolved they are already going further and further with their mindset and you will be stuck in a mindset that's maybe from the 1800s 1900s like it's an old mindset so realize that as well what you have been taught is not a fact so when I realize okay the people around me are also
people my parents are people these are also flawed human beings the same as me who went through life through trauma learning stuff and they're still learning till this day even my mom like she completely changed my mindset when I changed my mindset and now even I can teach her things I'm like Mom don't you think this is this way and our communication became so much better and so much more open-minded because she's willing actually to learn and to listen oh okay so nothing is a fact everyone is speaking from their experience I am also speaking
from my experience even the advice I give it will not be the same for everyone in your life because you guys did not live my life and you cannot apply it the same way but take what resonates and that can actually help you and apply it how it works in your life so start to look at people and think okay what they are telling me is what they think and they believe is fact based on their reality but I do not have to take that fact for myself I can also look at that thing that
they're saying from my point of view from my reality and have an opinion about it realize that you create your own reality I was so astonished when I found out that my life is not set it doesn't have to be this way when I could actually when I realized that I could actually change things about my life and I could control what happens or who I choose as a partner or or whatever I decide to do in my life I could choose I had decisions I was shocked cuz my whole life I was told no
it's this way and you will follow this way but when I actually stepped out of that mindset and I was like it doesn't have to be this way I do not have to suffer this way I do not have to go through what my parents go through I could do things differently that's when life started to open up for me that's when I became so successful because I started to actually trust my own judgment because I started to see like wow Liz the decisions that you make are actually good and are actually bringing you further
than any of these things that people have told you your whole life so that way I started to trust myself more I became confident in my abilities in my own decisions and I start to realize it doesn't have to be this way I I can change things for myself it doesn't matter where I come from it doesn't matter how hard my life was I can change it around and I can make it amazing another thing is practice self-control see I used to have no self-control at all and this would show up in my emotions I
was a very aggressive person like when I was younger I would yell all the time everything because obviously it's my environment that's the only thing I saw yelling aggressive I thought like that's the way I should get my point across so in my home like I would yell to my siblings I would be very aggressive as well I I could not control myself around food so I started to get a a binge eating disorder uh Bia like really it got so bad right when I started to practice self-control and I was actually like no you
know what I am not going to get aggressive I am not going to let my emotions get control of me because I control my body I am not going to eat all this food that I cannot handle in my stomach and my stomach is about to explode because I control what I put in my body I am not going to listen to things negatively on the news or things that drain me or make me feel even more stupid no I will control myself and I will actually decide to listen to something that will educate me
because I have control over my mind I have control over the things that I watch I have control over the things that I eat I have control over everything that I decide to do the more I started to practice self-control and I'm not saying that it was an easy thing no I relapsed many times many times I fell but I got up again but every time I could control myself and whatever I do and my decisions I started to feel very confident about myself it raised my self-esteem like nothing else because I could actually be
like oh Liz you are a person that control that can control herself so then when it was another time for me to make a decision I could make that decision with more confidence because I had shown myself already that in the past I had made good decisions I had controlled myself about certain aspects in my life so I try start to trust myself about it do what others are not doing I was watching this interview of David Goggins and um he basically said it's so easy to be great these days because other people are not
doing anything it is really only a small amount of people that take that leap of faith and that can actually become successful no matter what the odds are because they have Tunnel Vision on their goals and they actually go for it other people do not have that courage other people do not want to heal other people do not want to go to the gym other people do not want to like um control themselves not go out all the time like um not abuse substances no they constantly like they go for the easiest way out everyone
wants the easiest way out what is comfortable to them allowing toxic people constantly to drain them but then you have the people that are like you know what I don't want this any of this anymore I am actually going to do best for me and I'm actually going to start taking responsibility for what is happening in my life this kind of people are the people that actually start to do what is uncomfortable to them they start not allowing toxicity anymore they see the red flags they say no I'm sorry you cannot come in do they
feel lonely absolutely it's lonely like this you know how lonely it is to get treated with respect you don't have a lot of people around you because not a lot of people are willing to respect you and you have to accept that in life so you have to be like you know what either way I'm going to have tons of friends but they gossip about me spread my secrets around do whatever or I'm going to have tons of tons of relationship where I don't feel valued I don't feel respected and then you will feel uh
less of selfworth and everything or you step back and saying you know what no I know I'm going to be lonely it's okay it's only for a while but at least the people that will be in my life will be quality people it's easy to choose oh no I'm just going to do what uh was done to me I was abused I will abuse um I will do the same thing I will live in a victim mindset that's so easy it's very very hard to take yourself out of situation look back at it and say
you know what I need therapy I need to fix myself I need to journal because there are aspects about myself that that because of what happened to me I became this person I am not my trauma you are not your trauma but it did shift you in a way and when you can take accountability for your own toxic traits and say hey you know what I am willing to work on this because I will not hurt people in the same way I was hurt that's courageous when they say like um um practice outw Works Talent
when Talent is not working that's so true that is so true the people that want something better bad enough and keep working and keep striving towards it they be actually become successful when Talent is lazy your talent doesn't mean any you do not need to prove yourself I grew up in an environment I constantly needed to prove myself to my parents constantly I constantly needed to reinforce that I was a good child I was doing great um I was not lying constantly again and again so when I grew up I did that with the same
with my friends I did um even when I started off uh on social media I with my um people that were criticizing me I would argue with them prove that I was right but I realize I don't need to prove anything to anyone I know in myself that what I'm doing is a good thing I know that I'm helping millions of people and I am know I know what I'm doing comes from my heart and I truly have good intention that's it that is good enough I don't need to prove anyone anything oh this is
what I meant but no anyone that wants to hear me correctly will hear me correctly anyone that is here to hear me but then to later hate on me and say that what I'm saying is wrong or whatever I cannot change their mindset so I don't need to prove myself they're not willing to hear me these people so I'm not willing to talk to them very draining to constantly prove yourself it's very draining to explain to people why you think this is a good thing no you don't have to explain yourself not to your parents
not to anyone if you're what what you're doing is actually a good thing then actually just shut up about it and do it and let your actions speak for you but don't constantly talk about it and then don't don't if you don't have actions no one take will take you serious no one will no one will believe that you can actually do it show them the results do not talk about it show them how great you are realize when people are disrespectful and manipulating you I never realized this like I never used to realize when
someone was being disrespectful or bullying me or promising me stuff but never delivering which is manipulation so I always thought like oh this is just normal people are just like that because that's how I grew up but when I like uh came out of that and now I look back now I can firmly see when disrespect is happening when I can be like oh that was not nice no no no you crossed me here I can actually see that start to realize when you said to someone Hey listen I do not appreciate it when you
treat me like this and they constantly keep treating you like that this person is disrespecting you and your boundary when somebody tells you oh you will get this from me I'll promise you this and all these things but they never deliver this person is manipulating you you get hurt by a situation and you tell them Hey listen what you did really hurt me and they're telling Oh no you're being sensitive you're being dramatic whatever this person is gaslighting you start realizing this is not normal behavior there is no respect here you're the one that's being
disrespected and when you see something like this happen actually step back and say I will not allow you to treat me like this do not constantly give in and just forgive them and forget about it because they will constantly do it again and again again and again until you will be at your breaking point no unless you see changed behavior and actually them putting so much effort into changing you can say okay I will allow you back into my life start to realize that it is sometimes better to be lonely I was really like a
couple months ago at a point where I was like I feel so lonely even though I do have a relationship it's not it's not good enough you know I want friends my family none of them live where I live um so I felt really lonely so then I was like I want to make friends and being in my position I have many times had people that just when they meet me they want something from me which is also again it's not nice it's not a nice feeling and I am not anymore in the position where
I will allow someone to use me because I am firm on my boundaries I became lonely and I remember I was asking God like God please like I'm so lonely I just want friends I literally even cried about it then I went back to my uh Hometown to visit my family and stuff and then I saw a friend that I hadn't seen a while and she told me all these things about the friend she just made and all these things and then the that the things that this girl did to her and stuff and she
was telling me all this drama and everything and I was honestly I was shocked and then then I realized like I am so blessed that the only thing I have to worry about is literally my partner my family my cat and I am good I do not have any outside drama nothing I don't hear none of this no I'm really good it's insane to me that people actually live in an environment where where people that claim to be your friends can cross you like that came back and I was Lally being like thank you God
that I am lonely cuz it's so much better to be lonely than to be surrounded by people that do not have the best interest for you choose discipline over motivation motivation means nothing to me motivation can may be one day two day one week maybe you know it will linger around then you have to re-watch the motivation again because you need it again you know it means nothing discipline that's how people become successful discipline you do the things because you're like you know what this is my goal I have to do it do you guys
think that I actually want to go to the gym all the time no not at all do you guys think I want to do yoga no not at all do you guys think that I want to read books all the time not at all even like I'm starting to learn a new language now you think I want to do that no not at all I don't want to do any of that but see I can choose to not do it and be a loser or I can actually be like no you know what I'm a
winner and I'm going to do things even though I don't feel like it so for me I do things without thinking about it I just go to yoga I just go to the gym I just read my book even if it's one chapter I just read it or sometimes I just look at a page I'm I'm not even I'm just looking at it but at least I open the book I just do things without thinking about it and that's how little by little I become more successful every single day surround yourself with winners by this
I do not mean surround yourself with only successful people that have money whatever no you know what winners are it's people with a winner mentality people that can actually say hey you know what maybe today I am not there but I am going to get there people that actually uplift you people that actually are like you know what Liz let's go like let's do this that is a winner mentality people that don't uh that don't crumble by one single thing that happens in they like oh no I'm done I'm never going to do it again
no winners are people that are you know what I had a bad day today tomorrow is a new day we'll do it again maybe the day after will be a bad day again after that I will do it again those are winners surround yourself with people with that mentality I tend to attract people in my life uh espe especially in my friendships that that need help that need someone to rescue them so I am always willing to give that I'm always willing to give out help advice everything but you know what happens at the end
of the day I am not evolving I I really start to surround myself with people with the same mentality as me that are like yeah Liz let's go we're going to get this we're going to get this and that way I feel more confident and I feel like oh yeah what I'm thinking is normal because they think like that as well and together we can flourish but if I have someone constantly pulling me down like Liz help me help me help me but they don't want they don't want to help themselves then I cannot go
further realize that you might be running from something I find it very um suspicious when people like every single night they go out they go drinking um they go to the clubs they um they constantly like go like watch reality shows they they do they like even even overeating right and indulging in food what I used to do you're running from something something is there that you're not willing to deal with you see you know when I really overcame my uh binge eating disorder and my Eating Disorders when I started to heal my trauma I
am telling you nothing helped me more than me working on my traumas cuz once I worked on my traumas I did not feel the need anymore to stuff myself with food because I could actually sit and be comfortable with my emotions it was a complete shift and now even I look back today and I think how could I ever treat myself like that how did I ever treat my body like that but it was because I was running from something I was not willing to deal with those emotions I would rather stuff them down to
the point where I cannot breathe then just look at them and say like no you know what Liz it's going to be hard but you're going to deal with them so really realize look at yourself and think am I running from something am I running from myself what is wrong like why do I need to constantly go out why do I need to constantly go drinking why can I not sit with myself what do I feel uncomfortable about start to think about this I want you to realize you are not your trauma you you are
not your trauma I used to think right when um when I was growing up oh I am person I don't have self self-control uh I'm an aggressive person cuz I always yell at my siblings whatever I lash out um I I I'm literally like I am this kind of person right but then now I can sit back and realize no that was my defense mechanism towards what happened with me I am not that person today because I actually healed what was done to me and I know how how you may think that it's unfair that
what whatever happened to you you don't want to deal with it because you feel like why should I deal with something that I didn't do to myself but honestly if there's one thing in my life that was so liberating it was actually going to therapy actually starting healing myself and I will make a separate video how I healed my trauma honestly it changed my life it changed myself completely I'm a very calm person now I'm a very well accomplished successful person thank you God I am a person with so much strength now I am a
person with so much wisdom even like in interview that I was watching from David Goin that abused children have advantaged over were nonone abused children because from a young age they have been taught to get tough you know they are learning lessons from a young age so we think differently as well we see the world in a different manner but we can Thrive hard as well put us in a in a stressful situation honey we will thrive on another level I'm telling you you like you guys don't get it like what you what you went
through that doesn't have to be your life you can actually decide you know what it's so hard what happens but I will actually turn that around and change it into something that is good for myself and so I can show other people as well in my family that want through the same thing you know what you can do the same thing as well know how hard it is for people watching this that are going through this right now how hard it is to live in that situation I promise you if you start believing in yourself
if you start speaking up for yourself and if you actually start caring for yourself you will thrive on a whole different level I promise you that because honestly if I could do it me anyone can do it I promise you that and I want you to remind yourself over the hurdle you have overcome in your life already this is how strong you are you have dealt with bigger issues before things maybe you thought you could not get out of but yet you still got out of it you still got up and you still continued with
your life this shows how strong you are I came so many times in my life so close to dying like so close to Lo losing my life and I thought that was it but yet I still overcame that I overcame so much much abuse I overcame so much like people always putting me down that now I can look back and I said and I can literally say Liz wo like damn I'm so proud of you because you went through all that and you're still standing and you choose to not be like that you chose to
work on yourself and you chose to stop generational trauma because my children I promise you one thing will not go through this it will end with me I I have hit rock bottom in my life I will not ever be there again because I'm a changed person my mentality is completely different how I handle things are completely different the way that I go about if I had things I have had now even to test me because God does this God likes to test you right he likes to test how evolved you are so you had
maybe a toxic friend ship in the past you dealt with that and you moved on what he does is he will give you that same toxic friend again just to test how you will handle it and then you can decide to say either you make the same mistake again or you say like oh no no no I have seen this before this will not happen again if you had a toxic relationship in the past and you see the signs again of a toxic relationship you can look at it and and say this is the same
I will not go through this again because that way God sees that you're serious about what you want and you're serious about your change so he will give you what is meant for your highest good he will give you what is actually meant for you and he will bless you beyond measures I would sit and ask God for things that were this small I'm laughing to today because I would ask for things that were this small I would pray and be like please please give me this and he would never do it he would never
give me those things and then I got so angry and upset but the way he blessed me and I'm telling you I had to go through so much pain first in order to get blessed because I had to get tested first I would not be able to have this knowledge today if I did not go through what I went through so you did not waste those years those years are meant to make you a warrior you will come out of this so strong thank you so much for watching this video guys I hope you you
you guys everyone that's watching this gets blessed beyond measure I hope you get everything your heart desires in this world and I just know that you know what if you set your mind to it you can accomplish anything thank thank you so much for watching I love you guys so much bye-bye
