Excuse me, ma'am. No porn at the bar. >> Oh, it's okay. I'm transgender. >> Oh, I I had no idea. Do whatever you want all the time. >> Oh, Glenn. Howdy, stranger. Brian, what are you doing here? >> I'm an alcoholic. >> Oh, right. So, you saw the video, huh? [sighs] >> Yeah. It's just so hard. >> Well, it has to be for sex. >> No, no. I mean, I mean, it's difficult to watch the biggest hug you can and let them know that you'll always be there for them. How's your son, Brian? We don't
talk, but Ida, you can't blame yourself. As much as you want to save your kids from their mistakes, it's their mistakes that help them grow and change and become their best selves. You know, Brian, that's what I like about you. You're so wise and kind. I think That's what originally drew me to you. Yep. Here I am, Mr. wisdom sitting at the bottom of a bottle just like every tooth. Paw. Paw. There you go. Good boy. I just wish you could see yourself the way I see you. >> Yeah, mirrors kind of freak me out.
[laughter] And and funny, too. Except for a job and your own home. You are the full package, Brian Griffin. Ida, should we get a room? Absolutely. >> He dropped a USA Today outside our room. You want to read it? >> Oh, god. No. >> Well, I guess we'll pretend this never happened and I'll see you in another 2 years. >> Yeah. You know what? No. What are you doing Friday night? Well, that depends. Is Friday night videos still a thing? >> No, it hasn't been for quite some time. Well, then I'm free. Does that mean
You're asking me out? >> I guess it does. You're not ashamed to be with me? No. Having goofball sex. >> Hello. Room service. I've got your eggs and sausages. >> Sausages. >> Teen. The fish is for the gentleman and the chicken is for the lady. >> Got it. >> Great. Is that our food? >> The fish is for the gentleman and the chicken is for the lady. >> I'll be right back, folks. >> Well, thanks for picking me to break in your new discover card with. A little uncomfortable spending time with me. I thought you
said you weren't ashamed of me. What are you talking about? Because I made you lie down in the back seat all the way here. You look tired. It just seems like you're always taking me to out of the way places to avoid being seen together. Like yesterday. Come on, that's not true. I just wanted to show You a be okay. Maybe maybe this has been a little weirder for me than I thought. I'm sorry, Ida. I I really care about you and you deserve better. Are you sure, Brian? >> I'm sure. And from now on,
I'm not hiding anything like Peter and his firmaldahhide jars. >> Peter? >> Yes. Is this about my work? >> Hi. I have a styrofoam cooler with weird tape on it. >> Ah, that must be the cat brains and baby bodies. >> Are you prized? But >> it's about Ida, isn't it? >> It has to be. Why else would Ida be in our house? >> Max's right. Ida's only been here what, like twice her whole life? You think they did it again? >> What else could it be? >> They do have a lot in common. Two
mature people with dwindling options. >> Like, I know Brian was squeamish about sleeping with the trans woman before, but it's 2019 now. >> Yeah. Things that were gross 5 years ago are now heroic. >> Wow. Brian and Ida. Good for them. >> That's right. Quagmire thinks Brian's trash. >> Well, just have them over here for dinner. We'll help you. We're here for you, Brian. >> You know what? You're right. I can do This. After all, I'm not the first person to deliver tough news, like when they found Waldo. >> There are many things I can't
go into at this time, but I can confirm that a body was removed from Waldo's apartment this morning. >> Is this being treated as a suicide? >> Again, I can't confirm. >> Always nice coming back to your own house, huh? This isn't your house. It's my dad's. >> I have a package for Stewie Griffin. >> Day just starting or ending? >> Smack dab in the middle. >> Oh, dude. Brutal. Well, welcome to the back nine. I can't believe this worked. I'm Stewie. I'm going to be your husband. Zelata, >> we're such each other's forever people.
Brian, I'd like you. Looks like her arm was noded off. Babe, you don't have to eat people. We got food. Stewie, this is crazy. You can't marry That woman. You don't even know her. I know she can disassemble and reassemble a rifle in 15 seconds. How does that matter? I know it's adorable that she thinks we're going to see Whoopi Goldberg everywhere we go. Stewie, >> I hear Whoopi Goldberg out here. >> Z and Bry, my two favorites. I don't even There's a lot of >> Are there any more options for breakfast, Mom? >> Bread
without whole walnuts in it? Yuck. >> What's going on with you two? >> Well, it's just hotel living got us accustomed to having multiple breakfast options. Yeah, we're like when astronauts come back from space and can't fit back in with society, but with breakfasts. >> Well, I'd advise you space cadets to come back to Earth because I'm only making one thing. Okay, Magg, did you hear what I said? >> Breakfast. >> You mean like this one? >> Oh, you dog. Grab your coat. We're going to the Best Western. >> I don't need my coat. It's
hot. >> GET YOUR COAT NOW. >> HEY, KEEPER. We just show it a key and we get free food. >> Yep. Just keep it simple. >> Now, if asked, we're brothers from Sweden. Same mom, different dad. >> Well, shouldn't it be same dad, different mom? >> No, no, no. The Swedes have a very long fertility window, Chris. Trust. >> I'm looking for a pair of half brothers with different fathers from Finland. >> Hello. Hello. >> It's done. >> This is why Sweden, Chris. Never Finland. >> I'll never doubt you again. >> Good. Now grab a
yogurt that's way smaller than you knew they made yogurts. >> And you grab an orange juice that Doesn't taste like orange juice, but like someone described the taste of orange juice to >> cruiser. Levi. Levi. Levi. >> Hey. Uh, so I'm really sorry, but I threw up all over the front seat. Not a problem. >> Thanks, man. Late for a flight. >> Levi. Levi. Levi. >> Hey, I accidentally barfed in my car. They told me I could leave it here. >> Yeah, I'll clean it. >> Thanks. I got to catch my flight. >> Levi. Levi.
Can cheapest one. I'd actually recommend that first cab there. Sound good. >> I love cab. >> That secondly, yeah, they're not great. They're okay. Anyway, he says he'll fill the car up before he brings it back. He opts out of buying our gas, >> which is like 10% of less than anywhere in town. >> That's right, babe. But that's his prerogative, as Mitch says. Mitch is my manager. So, fast forward to this morning. I get the car back. I check the tank. 3/4 full. Cohog, we have a problem. [laughter] >> Stewie, you're so funny. It's
from a Movie. Anyway, >> Aaron and Shauna, they're nice. I like them. >> Yeah, >> it's comfortable going out with people in the same socioeconomic class as us, you know. I mean, I love the Burtons, but I don't really like to go to dinner parties in apartments. >> Apartment no worse than room in house. >> You're having a lot of those tonight. I think there's a new This is us, >> babe. No, our show. >> Morning, fam. What is that thing still doing here? >> That thing's name is Pouncy, and she's my cat now. Oh,
what do you think, Pounce? Want to split a can of tuna? One can of tuna, Ma. Keep the water. >> This suits her. But we're a dog family. You guys are okay with this? >> I stopped making decisions for this family when you bought that Roomba to replace me. >> Living room complete. >> Thank you, Roomba. >> Well, I think having a cat will be good for me. You'll get used to it, Brian. Just like I got used to Peter's extra pinky finger. To another 20 years of marital bliss. >> Cheers, my love. [snorts] >>
Oh, that finger stinks. >> I'm still learning to wipe with it, my Love. Is it a purge? >> That's not a real thing. >> Or at least that's what I'm told when I ask for fun things. >> I WANT A ZIPPO. >> YOU'LL BURN THINGS. >> YEAH, I know. Cool. Just put that on my puzzle. I never like this string bean. >> What's going on, Quagmire? >> Before families can officially adopt a cat, someone needs to make sure the Animal is being placed in a loving and safe environment. That someone is me. >> Is this
necessary? You know, >> cat. >> Hi, you. Oh. Oh, such a sweetheart. Oh, you are why I give up my sundaes. [clears throat] Okay, I'm going to walk through the house and make sure everything's cat friendly. Okay, this is a problem right here. Kind of in this whole area. Your front windows are west facing. That's Good. We'll make for a very cozy afternoon spying of that stuff around. Great. Adoption approved. >> Did you hear that, Pouncy? You're officially mine. >> Here are all your adoption papers. It has everything you need to know about owning a
cat. Standard stuff like what to feed them, local vets, toxopplasmosis, blah blah blah. >> Wait, what's toxopplasmosis? >> Oh, it's nothing. Just a parasite found In cat feces. If it gets in your bloodstream, it can make people a little crazy. It's really nothing to worry about. Unless you're an owner like Eric. >> All right, nobody's home. Time to go down to the Oh, hello. Look, I'm I'm just trying to go downstairs. All right. I don't want any trouble. Okay, good talk. Having a hard time getting a read on what you're going to do here. >>
Oh my god. I'm totally in your head. >> Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop the clock. You can talk. >> Uh, yeah. All cats can talk. We just choose not to respond to anything ever. >> So, you choose to be dicks? >> Yeah. It's hilarious. Humans are masochists, man. You should see how many toys they've bought me. Haven't played with one. I just sit in the box. >> I knew you didn't really care about this family or Meg. >> So >> So >> Oh, cute how you still think you're their favorite pet. You've been replaced, Bub.
>> I am still this family's dog, and I'm not going to back down to some cat. Fate whispers to the dog. You cannot withstand [music] the storm. The dog replies, I am Ow. The dog replies, "I am the I am the ow. >> I am the I am the I am the [laughter] I am the >> It's Instacard. I have your $170 worth of ice cream." >> Promo code lonely. >> We were just reading. >> Kitty cat. That's what I wanted to talk about. She's lying to everyone. Stewie, did you know she can talk? Yeah,
we were just discussing our book about Chinese communism with Chairman Mayo. >> You're right. You're right. Sorry. Sorry. >> No, I mean she can really talk. She told Me that she is using the family for >> published by the Samuel French Company, New York. Copyright this ed MCML XX. >> What are you doing? >> Reading Romeo and Juliet. [clears throat] We're doing it at school. And this girl I like is playing Juliet. I'm going to audition for Romeo. There's kissing. >> Chris, listen. Acting isn't easy. You're going to need some help. What does a baby
know about acting? >> Yes, I'm a baby. It's hard being youngest. Always looking for a way to distinguish myself, to contribute. [crying] [laughter] >> Stewie, I didn't mean it. >> Neither did I. That was acting, Chris. Wow, you're amazing. Do you think you could give me some pointers? It would be my great honor. That was also acting. >> Thought I'd swing by. Lois will be a Widow soon, right? >> Yeah, he's circling the drain. And let me guess, no estate planning. >> Would you guys tell me if my car smelled this bad? Everywhere I look,
I see another stray French fry. >> Hey guys, I know I'm new to the group, but Peter's not here to defend himself, so I don't think it's right for us to talk about him like this. >> Excellent idea. say, "Why don't you just drive me? That way, I can be productive The entire trip. It'll be like Greenbook, a movie I only saw because I believed it to be a book." >> Oh, yeah. You know, I once tried to read Jaws cuz I thought it was the movie. Couldn't go into a library for years after that.
Guys, listen. Preston wants to drive with me. He can't know you're all coming. So, everyone in the way back, not hiding in the back of your car. >> Why? There's nothing in there except for Lois's jaw. >> 55 mph and we will stop to read historical markers along the way. Oh, >> starting with a museum of black guy mustaches. >> Oh, >> some hotel. They only had smoking rooms and very smoking rooms. >> Check it out. A stack of pre-written suicide notes. All you have to do is sign your name. This place has everything. >>
I wish there were more than two beds. >> I'll just sleep in my chair. >> You sleep guys? Hide in the shower. >> Hello, Griffin. I'm right next door in a slightly larger room. Seems like an unnecessary detail. >> Here is this weekend's itinerary. >> We're working all weekend. >> Griffin, our New Jersey distributor is threatening to drop our beer in favor of hard selzer because New Jersey. I need to convince them that we are the best Scumbag beverage around. If we lose this account, we lose the brewery. >> Why? Because I have no idea
how soon or late that is. >> Hey, >> what the hell? >> Sorry, I forgot. >> Why are you at half mast? >> I'm 45, Joe. That's full match. >> Coach will tell you that before your audition, it's important to warm up. Now, let's improv. Give me a location. >> Stewie's bedroom. >> Okay, maybe just spend another second on >> Stewie's bedroom. >> Okay, fine. And a profession. >> Acting teacher >> again. Maybe just give him Juliet. You'll be he. I'll be she. Get in. Let's get in. I'd like permission to go inside. Juliet. >>
Hi, Juliet. I'm >> not I'm not there just yet. All right. Juliet is eluding me a little. My Transformation is not yet complete. >> [snorts] >> Hi, Juliet. >> Damn it, Chris. I'm not ready. >> But you were standing like a girl. >> My body work was perfect. They got him building arches over at the coliseum. Big construction job. How about Mikey? >> Yeah, he's um he's been carving dongs out of marble. You know, something different. >> Sad. I'm one of the skinniest guys here, Guys. Preston's coming. Beat it. >> I'm 11 seconds late. I'll
credit you the time in our 2-minute break in 180 minutes. Let's work. >> Pucket Patriot Ale. >> Oh [ __ ] >> What are you doing? >> Honey, kids, breakfast. >> Oh, there you are. >> Where else would I be? Hey, BA. You need a coffee? >> I could do with a tea. Hi, Beth. Hi. Hey, >> Morty family. This is Bug Anne. Don't gawk. She's just picking me up. >> Yeah, she is. >> Hi, Bugan. >> Sorry for crashing breakfast. Rick called me and said, "Weird pitch, but then his pitch was just going to
the thing I invited him to." >> Not exactly typical dad behavior. >> Don't be weird, Space Beth. I took the memory of your mom out of my head. Now I'm more emotionally open. >> What? >> You took mom out of your brain? You took mom out of your brain. >> Don't be weird. It's not like I haven't tried other ways to move on. I'm trying something new. It's working. Hop off the sack. >> I think it's nice. I think >> Grandma, when did you start saying hop off the sack? >> Sad. >> Oh, hey kiddo.
>> Where are you going? >> I'm uh heading out for a bit. Don't wait up. >> Why Why are you leaving? >> Work stuff. Beth, my daughter. The work stuff was in the ceiling. I'M BACK NOW. >> Your hair. It's >> way cooler, right? We're going to have so much fun together, sweetie. >> Yay. >> Then we'll save your mother from a secret underground memory prison. >> Yay. [cheering] [screaming] [laughter] >> Rick, thank god that's over. Sorry you got stuck with Uncle Scoo. You didn't tell me everyone here would be cool. >> They're not. That's
my aunt Bulgogi. Huge [ __ ] And over there's Jack Pooh, my ex-boyfriend from high school. >> I guess he was probably staring for a long time before that, huh? >> Again, you left before the end of the banner raising. Why did you leave? Do I embarrass you? >> Not in front of Uncle Scoo, dear. Mom. Dad, this is Rick. He's that friend from my early revolutionary days. >> THE MONKEY MAN. >> Grumpites give us bugs a bad name. Such a violent culture. >> You've known my daughter a long time, Eh? >> I have, although
Buganne and I have only been hooking up for A FEW MONTHS. >> WHAT? >> WHY DID YOU SAY THAT? >> I WAS OPENING UP. I DIDN'T KNOW YOUR SPECIES HAD RITUALISTIC HONOR-BASED JEWELS OVER PREMARITAL SEX. >> YOU'RE A genius and YOU LOOKED UP NOTHING ABOUT MY CULTURE. >> I [screaming] TOOK MY WIFE OUT OF MY HEAD. I'M GOING THROUGH A LOT. THE TRIAL WILL CONTINUE until one of you is dead or accepts defeat. If you yield, you admit you are. >> I don't see any. [screaming] >> Guys, this new character has given you a 20.5%
better chance of ENDING THE MOVIE. >> BUT I am in pain. >> So, we're back on course. Sort of. You still need a third act. In the original draft, Baron Thistle was going to kill Tannon Bomb in front of the Robo Trees. >> Huh, that would have been a cool ending. [screaming] >> Maybe Son of Thistle could finish what his father started. Hm. You do kind of look like him. >> You want me to kill Tan Bomb? >> Whatever works. Okay, I'll break Tanam out of jail, reunite him with the Robo Trees, and then Morty
will kill him. Does the machine recognize that as an ending? >> Hold on. >> It does. Kind of bleak though. >> Shut up. I'm off to a jailbreak. What the hell am I supposed to do? You're the new bad guy. Hook up with the henchweds and give the robo trees something to stop. >> Something to stop? What's that mean? >> See you IN THE THIRD ACT. Extra creatine, please. >> Yo, James Gun. >> Oh, hi, Zack Snider. >> Just saw your new cut of Superman. And word of advice, he's the man of steel, not the
man of conversation. >> Okay. >> Do more shots of him punching. And here is a secret move. Start the punch at regular speed and then you're going to ramp it down. >> IT'S NOT A [ __ ] SECRET. >> I'm sorry, Zack Snider. I shouldn't be lashing out at you. Your biceps are the size of my head. >> Yes, but so is my heart. What's going on with you? >> Some fan of the Velocity Tree franchise got under the lot today. He used a portal and he just Zack, we're not losing touch with the audience,
are we? I mean, I gave notes on the goddamn Count Choula movie this morning. >> Was the portal green? That's Rick Sanchez Gunnar. That's the guy that sealed Nolan in the giant bookcase to quote unquote punish him for Interstellar. He doesn't represent real fans. He's just the smartest man in the universe. Don't sweat it. He can't do what we do. Probably going to go crush some weights. One day you're going to wish you hit the gym like I do, James Gun. >> Uh, hello. Is this Baron Thistle's evil base? >> Not anymore. We're packing it
in. Going to try to sell all this stuff on my girlfriend's Etsy site. EVERYONE LISTEN UP. I'm here TO GET THIS PLACE BACK UP AND RUNNING. I AM THE son of Thistle. >> He does sort of have the same jacket. >> AND HIS HEAD IS ALSO A CACTUS. >> THAT'S ALL THE PROOF I NEED. Tell us what to do. >> Uh, well, what were y'all doing before Baron Thistle died? >> Oh, uh, you know, doomsday plan. We were going to melt the ice caps. >> Morty's high school. Yeah. This used to Be my dimension. The
shed was my way out. >> Oh, screw this. Hey, where are you going? To our house. There's got to be an exit somewhere. Bad idea that there there is no house. You expect me to trust you? What was I thinking? That I'd become some sort of hillbilly road sage? A cool prospector? My family loves me and I threw it away for this stupid. >> I left my dimension because I felt unappreciated and by the time I FOUND MY WAY BACK, BETH HAD REMARRIED. >> Oh my god. Yeah, >> this whole time you've been preaching about
freedom and getting out there, but you're not brave. You have to live like this. You're the least cool version of me I've ever met. You're right. You're right. I'm a loser. Let's just do anything other than face my family, please. >> Hello. Oh my god, Jerry. And there's two of you. Hi there. Paul Flehman, CPA. >> Hi, I'm Jerry. >> It's a pleasure. BETH, JERRY'S BACK. AND ANOTHER ONE. COME ON IN. Can I get you guys some coffee? I'm a tea guy myself. Earl Grey, Little Milk, >> Dad. >> Oh my god, >> Jerry. >>
Hi, family. >> WHAT THE [ __ ] IS GOING ON? >> YOU WALKED out on us to dumpster dive across the multiverse. >> You resented me. The kids didn't respect me. Rick hates me. How long did it take before you even NOTICED I WAS GONE? >> OH, we noticed, [ __ ] Don't put that on us. >> Yeah, maybe do something worthy of our respect, like not disappearing. Good point, Morty. >> Oh, now Rick has thoughts on abandonment. >> I JUST SAID GOOD POINT. I'm glad you left. >> Coming here was a bad idea. >>
Hey, stop disappearing for once. Mooch loves you guys. You're all he talks about out there. Morty, you love to eat bugs. >> Sure do. >> And Summer, you hate showering. >> Not as much anymore. I've actually been working on it. >> Oh, honey. It's true. I miss you guys so much. I mean, after wandering around a bit, I Did come back. But Beth had met Paul, and you all seem so happy. >> We are happy, but that doesn't mean we hate you. I mean, we hate you a little bit. >> Yeah, Paul's pretty cool. Uh,
I don't want to say we won the breakup, but >> guys, don't pile on. Jerry's trying to apologize. >> No, I deserve it. I thought you took me for granted, but it was the other way around. [sighs and gasps] >> Rick, >> here we go. I promised Jerry I'd get him home. Is there any way? >> Address. >> Oh. Uh. Huh? Is it a number or like a lot of letters? >> Uh-oh. We say parmesan. Weird. Like parmesian. Really don't know me, do you? And you don't know me OR THE VARIOUS SIZES OF BUGS. ALL
TRUMPITES ATTACK. >> BEHOLD THE GRUMPLAMMITES OF THE FUTURE. SOON WE WILL RAIN AGAIN. >> HE'S GETTING AWAY >> AND LIVING WRENCHREE IN YOUR HEAD. [screaming] [laughter] >> AH, so much for my [ __ ] brick. [groaning and screaming] TURO TORO GRENADE. >> What was that rentree in your head [ __ ] >> It's dumb people saying something meaningless cuz they learned a new thing. >> It just means you're thinking about something. >> Focus, Dad. The queen is a sporebomb. >> Ooh, you better call the defiance. >> Why? So they can form a committee. >> You
don't want your old job back? >> No, Dad. The defiance sucks. But that doctor keeps trying to kill me. He is not getting a W. Oh god, I'm turning into my father. >> That's all you had to say, partner. All right, should be pretty easy. We get in Undetected, find the spore bomb, and portal it out of there. Step one, we blend in as bugs working for the Department of Transportation. My guy Cisco will be at the back door at 7:00 a.m. >> Who's Cisco? >> My inside man. Don't worry. >> Okay, but what if
he doesn't show up? >> What's that supposed to mean? You don't even know Cisco. >> Which is very concerning since this plan Seems very dependent on him. >> So, let me finish the plan. Fine. >> Step two. Cisco provides us with security credentials for the maintenance tunnels. >> And if he doesn't show, what's our backup plan? >> I use Cisco so that I don't need a backup plan. What's that? >> We ordered food. Remember? I've never heard of this Cisco guy in my life. And all of a sudden, he's the most reliable Person ever born.
>> Baby, I work with more reliable people than you. Make sure my fries are there. [screaming] >> Thank you. Oh, wait. Are there fries? Oh, okay. I see them. Thank you. Where were we? >> Step three. We quickly and quietly patch into the surveillance grid. >> Wait, how'd we get there? >> With the credentials we got from Cisco. >> So, in other words, it's Cisco. >> Cisco has never not shown up. >> Can I just ask, what does someone have to do to achieve the level of trust you place in this random man? >> I
trust plenty of people. >> Name two. >> Uh, easy. Bird person and Cisco. >> Cisco's at the same level as bird person. >> Yeah, he listens to my plans. >> I guess I would too if I was the pivotal goddamn participant. >> That's all this is. You're jealous of Cisco. >> I don't want to rely on him. If he doesn't show up at 7:00, we're two humans in bug costumes banging on a door until the cops find us. Then we're running and gunning. >> We're not going to be running or gunning at any point in
this plan. It's going to be Yi and Cisco staying under the radar and preventing a coronation catastrophe. >> Please, sir, not in the Matrix. You Shouldn't put people in matrixes. >> Uh-huh. What the? Oh, matrix my ass. [screaming] This better be Death Race related. >> CK [screaming] >> [groaning] >> CJ. CJ. She's beautiful, isn't she, Morty? I never had a brother till you. [snorts] >> [panting] [screaming] >> DEATH TORCH CHARGE ANY [groaning] GO. [sighs and gasps] >> We got him. Osama bit charging is dead. >> Full hearts. Full charge. >> Full hearts. Full charge. >>
SHE'S COMING DOWN. SWEET CHRIST. POWER PLANT VALLEY IS BREACHED. I REPEAT, BREACHED. >> He's getting too close. If he reaches THE CENTRAL POWER PLANT, IT'LL trigger a chain reaction that renders North America uninhabitable, but also takes out all cell phones. >> Be out guard number two. The moat was installed for this exact scenario. There's not a tank on Earth that can cross THAT WATER. OH [ __ ] IT'S GOT A SNORING. [screaming] [screaming] >> None of this WILL BRING CJ BACK. >> KEEP HIS NAME OUT OF YOUR PHONE. >> WHOSE NAME? CHRISTOPHER JAMES MOTOROLA. CHARGE
IT. FIRST class >> iPhone. >> Oh no, the guy who made the park is still alive. He is. >> Yeah. Rumor is he still lives here down in the tunnels? >> Hey, Tsum Tsum, you like breaking rules. >> Ooh, did you bring Molly? >> Hurry it up, Jerry. >> It's your fault I have to go like this. You destroyed my urethra when you turned Me into a trash can. >> Follow me. >> And of course, I brought Molly. Uh, and you're just joining us tonight, we have a Oh my god, it exploded. Oh god, all
those astronauts. It's It's worse than any explosion before it. >> This is hilarious. >> Hey, check this out. >> Awesome. No adult is getting inside. Also, don't sit on that chair. The cushion is knives. Somebody's got to sit On it. Jean should sit on it. Bam. NICE. >> Hey there, girls. I'm guessing one of you is Beth from Next Door and one of you is Sir Clone. But you're both little girls now. I'm not that strange given what I've seen. >> What are you, a scientist? Come sit in our chair. >> Well, based on the
design of your makeshift harpoon, seems like you girls are on a bit of a spree. Feel like I'm going to be walking into some booby Traps. Let's have some cocoa instead. >> Let's have some cocoa. >> I'm divorced. Hey, that is cruel and technically untrue, but you're in an altered headsp space, so I know you don't mean it. Why don't you two sit tight? I'll get the Swiss miss. >> Let's go. Go where? Go hunt him. Unless you're scared. I'm not scared of anything. Let's get in the walls. >> Wow, this is a good photo
of us. >> Keep talking. I can smell your rotting Breakfast. >> Oh god, >> your hairs are insane. They're all over your body. Can I touch them? Say a human phrase. Say grocery list in that stink body accent. >> You mean my voice? >> Yes, >> grocery list. >> I love your tooth filled big hole and the other less used holes on your face. >> Okay. Um, I'm getting the feeling that You're not into me as much as you like the idea of being with any human. >> Does it matter if I'm still turned on?
>> No, I guess it doesn't. >> I want to get your wet muscle in my mouth. >> You mean my tongue? >> I don't care what it's called. Rick, I know you're having a bad time, but I think I saw a Panera up there that might change your tune. >> A Panera? >> Shut up. >> Is that Kevin Cosner? Wait, why do I know that? >> Did father make new models? I don't recognize you three. >> No, I'm old guy. This is Princess Diana and he's Mr. Rogers or Brett Kavanaaugh? >> I wouldn't know. I
>> Summer Smith 2:00. She complains about you having a good time. time. But don't get in the water. I need a dry person to hand me things. >> We've been here for hours. >> By design, it's called holding up. Relax. Have some of the giant Clair they knew would delight me. It really is so fun that it's big. >> Summer Smith will not relax. >> Yeah, because Rick's hanging with you guys instead of me. >> Summer, you threw a pan at them and they took us to a pool. The cogs are great. Check Check this
out. >> See this? We didn't rehearse it at all. >> So much for being trapped in its cog [ __ ] Weren't you all worried about its endgame? >> Summer, this is its endgame. It loves me. And if it wanted to be free, it could leave at any time it wants. Open door policy. >> Oh, come on. Like, you didn't know I'd do that. >> Why are you sulking? You wanted to be at a restaurant with cogs. This is nominally different at best. >> I wanted to be at a restaurant with you. I just wanted
you to try some cool [ __ ] with me. >> Summer, you wanted me on this dumb hang because deep down you think you know what I want. This thing actually knows before I even want it. >> Wow. It declares good wet, too. >> Rick does jello shots. RICK DOES JELLO SHOTS. >> THESE COGS KNOW WHAT'S UP. >> Jello shot delivery. >> Can you grab them, Summer? This is why it's good to have someone out of the pool. >> I hate these cog [ __ ] >> I LOVE YOU GUYS. >> SHOTS. [screaming] SHOTS. SHOTS.
>> My god. >> Yeah, I guess one man's trash is another man's beautiful cemetery. >> Looks like there's a sex robot section over that way. There she is. Hello, mother. It's me, your baby boy. I wish I could have known you. >> She was the finest I ever had. Well, top three. Top five, at least. >> Oh, top five, eh? >> There's a lot more than five, too. It's high praise. Your mom could really throw it back. >> Oh, I know a thing or two about ranking whom I've slept with. Oh yeah. >> Two words.
Heather Lair. >> That's my boy. >> Thank you for bringing me here, Dad. >> You're welcome, son. I'm happy we did this. >> So are we. >> God, who are you? [screaming] LET US GO. >> I AM that which should not be. I am the trash of the trash. They don't let me live with everyone else. Human boy Rick Spawn. I know you can open the door to the upper bomb. >> Salvatron will kill us up there. >> I'll take my chances. >> I'm sorry, Junior. I was a horrible father. I didn't understand the consequences
of anything. And now this. Oh, [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [screaming] OUCH. SH. WHAT THE [ __ ] [screaming] >> IT WAS HIS IDEA. DON'T HURT US. I'M NOT A REAL DOCTOR. >> WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? GET THE [ __ ] OUT OF MY CAR. >> WE'RE COMING WITH YOU TO RESCUE OUR FRIENDS. >> I'M NOT GOING to rescue your friends. I'm going to kill those guys who stole my [ __ ] >> Yeah, exactly. It's the same guys. It is the same guys. Flush us into space
or keep driving. >> [ __ ] Morties. >> Hey man, you're the one who built this truck with a back seat. >> If you die, you die. >> Wow. back on an adventure with a with with a Rick. Close your eyes. And it's like nothing changed. Some change is good. We had our own town, man. We were free. Hey, you know, my Rick wasn't so bad. Used to take me and Summer to the park. No, we didn't. I have the same memory. It's fabricated. Taking me Summer to the park. A new Citadel. You Ricks don't
have many original ideas, do you? And you're the arbiter of taste. Cool haircut. Stay out Of my way. >> Stay out of mine. >> Almost enough for a jump. I'm going to head to a reality where no one has facial hair in the land of the blind. When I get my hop, I'm off to a dimension where racism is cool. Idiots. You got to have bigger plans than one jump. Oh, yeah. And what's your big plan? You mean after I teabag YOUR MOM? >> [laughter] >> DON'T EVEN have a mom. >> Come back. [music] >>
Rick, are we in the right place? >> Yeah. Trying to work out the big mythology here. And all I'm getting is HR Gigger meets Coachella. >> Oh, okay. Rick. So, it looks like there's a space oyster and it hypnotizes animals with it. >> I was just making a hypothesis, you know, trying out some science. >> Here's science. The Easter rabbit's an Alien. They send it to planets in an egg. If you kill it, you become it. >> Okay. Well, explain this then. >> Easy. The rabbit is some kind of pherommonal catalyst. Looks like it makes
everyone have sex until the planet gets overpop populated and collapses. It's [ __ ] based terraforming. [ __ ] D. Oh, frick. Do you see that? >> Yeah. It has a butt where its dick should be. >> Rick, >> Morty, its butt is in the front. >> These must be the guys who move in after the rabbit's done its stuff. >> Have you seen any of them turn around yet? Is it in the back? >> Stop it. [screaming] Prepare to meet your [groaning] [screaming] >> Christ guys HATE THE BALL GUYS. >> WHAT IS THE LORE?
WHO DO WE HELP? >> NEITHER. We're going to THIRD PARTY. >> HE'S GOING FOR THE LAST EGG. >> STOP THE DENTIST. >> [ __ ] [groaning] How are we getting off this planet, Rick? >> Same way they do. Son of a [ __ ] >> Those are ships. >> Oh, I've seen this on TV. They're on Earth. >> Yep. On Easter Island. Suppose that Might have been a good place to start. Sir, mission successful. We didn't get an egg. The old man and his young son escaped with it. >> Why did you say mission successful
then? >> I don't know. I'm dying. Kind of wanted to go out on a hike. >> He was here. Now, where did he go? [music] This grl, it's got energy, lumps, all the things a needs. >> Um, why why do we call ourselves that Again? >> Wow. Cryo really took it out of you, huh? They gave us that term. Cuz we make it all possible. >> If we're makeies, may maybe that makes them takeies. >> Did you not just get complied? Oh yeah, you you learned to take the pain. [laughter] >> Badassago's hard. Poor >>
Rick. WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? >> MORTY, great news. It's all going as planned. >> We didn't have a plan. >> We do now. These people, Morty, they're golden retrievers. No natural predators. Totally softened by generational wealth. Tomorrow they're throwing me some kind of becoming a man thing and and just giving me the hyper cold. >> Who cares? Get me out of here. I I'm literally SCOOPING [ __ ] BY HAND. GOOD. YOU MADE YOUR BED. LAY IN IT. GIVE ME THE CAR KEYS. >> WE'RE NOT LEAVING. >> YES, WE ARE. YOU PRETTY >>
DAMN CHAKACO'S GIVING THAT OLD RICH KID A PIECE OF HIS MIND. >> GET THEM TO ME, YOU TANKY SCUM. >> HEY, LEAVE OUR SON ALONE. >> THE SUN SUCKS. >> CHAKACO, ARE YOU CRAZY? >> GET BACK HERE. WE'LL BE SPEAKING TO YOUR MANAGER. >> NO, NO, it's fine. JUST JEALOUS POOR PEOPLE. >> UNGRATEFUL MONSTERS. >> IMPATIENT, TOO. >> Holy [ __ ] ARE YOU CRAZY? WE'RE ALL GOING TO GET IT NOW. >> WHAT THE HELL GOT INTO YOU, CHACHACO? HE'S AN [ __ ] >> OKAY, SERIOUSLY, how are you NOT GETTING ZAPPED? >> OW. >>
HEY, >> something's up with his chip. HE DON'T GOT ONE. NO WAY. >> I TOOK IT OUT. >> THEY SAID TAKING THE CHIPS OUT WOULD KILL US. >> CHAKACO is living proof it won't. >> Wait, wait. Stop. >> Chakaco killed Tibs. SHOULD WE TELL SOMEONE? LISTEN, I'M NOT WHO YOU [screaming] >> JACO, you're an idiot AND A GODAMN HERO. >> UM, THANKS. >> Tell the Maky's to gather. It's time to show the Takeis who really runs this ship. >> And after you finish sipping from the final chalice, the sacred light will shine down upon you.
>> You've grown so much. We are so proud of you, >> Jimmy. I used to dread giving this to you. It's the most precious thing in our family. And frankly, you were a brat. But there's nothing like a fluke cryopod Accident to show you what really matters. >> It's your father's constellio suit from his father. >> Bonap petit. >> What do we do? He's going to destroy Alphaum. >> Whatever. I don't care anymore. >> Damn T. That's cold. >> Exactly. >> God damn. >> You do remember our adventure. Not Really. >> Wow. Dope [ __
] T. >> If we don't stop Infinity, he's going to destroy Alphabetrium. >> But that swamp put the Kaiba on our spaceships. >> Maybe we can pull it out and upgrade it using parts of the number ship. Oh, the cucas already did it. Wow, you guys worked fast. >> Scribble. >> Damn, it's like the glyph jumper but Extreme. >> The glyph jumper extreme is rad. Let's go home and bust a cap in Infinity's ass. >> Wait, let me go pee first. That way when we get there, I'll get to say Well, I'm not going to
spoil it. >> Death to all letters. NEITHER UPPER NOR WILL SURVIVE THIS DAY. >> The bracket shield has fallen. It's an utter apostrophe. [screaming] >> I am bigger than letters. I am bigger THAN NUMBERS. BUT BALLS ARE HUGE AND EVERYONE CAN SUCK my dick. >> Stop. You're killing numbers. >> My lord, THIS IS TOO FAR. >> ARE YOU still [ __ ] talking? Here's a number for you, lady. 86. That ass. You're fired. >> Yo, suck this [ __ ] Yo, Ch, is that your girl? >> That's twice. I saved your ass. >> Infinity's gone
mad with power. He's killing everyone and every two and every Three and every >> We get it. >> I was wrong to join him and wrong to leave you. Water tea. Infinity killed both our fathers. >> Nuh-uh. I was there. Ceiling fell on him. Father, >> that ceiling was poisoned. Oxygen s planned Magma Q's [music] assassination for months. All my life, I've served such negative numbers. >> This kid I don't know was right all along. >> Finally, >> it's time for the Numericans to rise and join us. >> How can we make the Numericans rise
up against him? >> We'll inspire them. [screaming] >> Kill murder. Damn. Why does a one hate an eye? I >> Okay, thanks, Rick. You could turn him Back into a regular churro now. >> What? I I can't turn him back. You asked me to bring him to life. Bam. Done. But he's a churro. He doesn't have internal organs, a brain, etc. In order to live, I had to make him functionally immortal. >> What? My my family. >> Goodbye, Cherry. I'll miss you. [crying] >> These are just regular churros. OH [screaming] MY GOD. MY WORD, BONNIE.
I SHALL LEAVE YOU AS YOU LEFT ME ON A BARREN PLANET [screaming] PRAYING FOR DEATH. I'M STARTING TO see why this lawyer was free. >> Okay. Well, we never intentionally hurt people. >> Yeah, we adventure. Stuff goes wrong. We don't just murder for fun. >> Oh, here's a clip about that topic. >> I did it, Morty. I KILLED THE VERSIONS of us that were in Space Jam. HELP ME WITH THE BODIES. >> WOW. HOW'D YOU DO IT, RICK? >> IT was easy, Morty. THEY WELCOMED DEATH. THEY WANTED OUT, MORTY. NO, NO, NO. You don't get
it. They begged me. IT WAS A KINDNESS. >> WAS THAT HELPFUL? >> It was FOR THE PROSECUTION. >> OKAY, I'VE HEARD ENOUGH. NO, YOU [ __ ] HAVEN'T. If we're about to die, at least let us defend ourselves. >> I'll allow it, but no lolly gagging. >> I only need one clip, your honor. If it pleases the court, hold on to your tits. >> I'M A LEG, MORTY. YOU LIKE THAT? >> YEAH, I KNOW YOU DO. OH, WE ALREADY SAW THAT ONE. NO, that's the other time I did it. >> That was your Hail Mary.
I held on to MY TITS FOR NOTHING. >> That was me. >> I HEREBY FIND RICK AND MORTY GUILTY. TIME TO DIE. >> What inarnation? >> Plot twist. >> What do you expect? You gave me access to your tech. >> Look, I'm not saying we're heroes, but in the two minutes I've had access to your server, I can observe you're no better. Here, let's see a clip. HELP, PLEASE. OH MY GOD. PLEASE, PLEASE. >> ABSURD. If the observer was in the clip, who was watching? >> Glad you asked. Please homework. >> Jesus Christ. >> You
can't shame us for watching. It's who we are, >> right? And you'd never take advantage of that. Hot copies. Freshly watched. I've got Avatar 3 through six. Friends and family screening the >> Okay, Rick. Whoa, dude. >> [ __ ] you, Morty. It's a blazer. >> That's not what he meant. You look sick. The hole is feeding on you. >> I thought it's supposed to eat my fear. Can we get some [ __ ] rules up in this hole? >> I don't know the rules. Maybe you're dying because you've been in here too long. >>
Interesting theory. I wonder why you're so rosy cheicked. >> What are you saying? >> Maybe the real you is off somewhere running from spiders. Oh, so now I'm not real. >> Yeah, maybe my greatest fear is having To tell you to [ __ ] THE [ __ ] OFF. >> GO AHEAD AND FACE IT. >> [ __ ] THE [ __ ] OFF. >> HEY, ready to show biz pizza? >> Let me see THAT BEAR PLAY BANJO. >> HERE'S ONE for you. I'm afraid of watching you die. >> I like that theory, Morty. So, stop
watching. >> Okay, this is it. You nailed it. My worst nightmare. I'd like to leave the hole now. Hey, hey, hole. I'm talking to You. Are you listening? So, what are you like the hole? The holes promoter? The ho's intern. >> Is there a hole here? >> Right. I'm I'm supposed to go in there and be shocked that there's no hole or that there is a hole. What difference would it make? >> H you are hard to scare. >> And Rick isn't right. The the hole is going to like suck on him forever because his
big secret is that he's got The most fear. Well, we can certainly say you're not afraid to be reductive. I doubt your grandpa has more fear than the average [ __ ] in a Denny's. Hey, >> sorry. If anything, he seems pretty brave. Certainly not afraid to die. Maybe that makes his fear extra delicious. >> So what? He's scared of love. >> Everyone's scared of love, [ __ ] You learned that in your 20s. It takes a very rare, very powerful being to be Terrified of happiness. >> Dumb. >> You're dumb. That's why you're not
scared to be happy. The smarter you are, the more you know. Happiness is a trap. It can't last forever. Let's say you meet the love of your life. Well, it's still going to end. It's inevitable. Whether by the slow pole of a disease, or the shock of loose footing on a hiking trail, whether it be the corrosion of two personalities that Reshape each other until they're incompatible, or maybe the old stranger in a bar who says the things that need to be said to that person that night, the point is happiness always ends. Best case
scenario, think about this. Best case is that you die at the same time. Yikes. >> Can't the whole just let me go then? Sounds like I don't matter. >> You don't. But if you go, you'll take him away. Don't worry. Rick will die Before accepting happiness. After that, we'll chase you with some clowns or some dumb [ __ ] like that. But Grandpa, yummy, yummy. Grandpa's going to die just like Diane. Uh, >> dead poor pope. Ah, >> yeah. That's them. All right, last thing. I just got to take a sharpest stick and stab them
both. That's just the rules. [screaming] >> Sorry, Morty. So much for the quiet way. >> I appreciate that we tried. >> It's a [ __ ] up rule. [screaming] Pope, >> it's over. The Pope, we got you. [laughter] >> See, this is why religion sucks. Infinite energy and the Pope uses it to levitate like Chris Angel. >> All right. Wow. Not how I saw that going. I guess getting killed by the Energy sent us up the conduit to its source. Hey guys. >> No. No. Ju just need some clothes and horses. Maybe not for Bigfoot,
unless he wants clothes. >> Excuse me, Lord Odin. Is this a test? >> Yep. Yep. You passed. >> Feet so small. >> Why is he in a clone of Summer? >> Statistically speaking, she's the third most likely to die. All right, let's kill that son of a [ __ ] >> Hold on. I can see where this is going. Wa! [screaming] Wow. I got to admit, Morty, I didn't really fight that time. I wanted to make sure this worked. >> Handsome. >> Yeah. You like that? Bigger feet. Even gave your brain a little more lobe.
>> Thank you. Me love it. Me. >> Dial it back. You don't want to come across like a muppet. Woohoo! [screaming] >> Maybe [music] we just portal right up close to the guy instead of doing the guards every time. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> What the hell, Beth? >> You're paying for those. Just yell my NAME LIKE NORMAL. >> I DID. WHY DO YOU THINK I risked it with the tongs? >> Huh? I guess I did drink a lot last night. Marathon of cake or fake? The the sentensient cakes. They they keep you Guessing, you
know. >> Where are my kids? >> Merged. >> That doesn't answer my question and raises several others. >> Relax, sweetie. Summer's just doing chores, which I will check on by myself without your tongs. Summer. SUMMER. SUMMER, MOVE OUT. GOD [screaming] DAMN IT, SUMMER. LET THEM GET HUNGRY. [snorts] >> WAIT, why is this in black and white? >> For dramatic effect. >> I didn't design you for dramatic effect. >> You made me sound like you're dead white. >> Just color the [ __ ] picture. >> We're kind of like VIPs here. I mean, if you can
handle some rowdy quads, you could join us. >> I bet you say that to all the mutant girls. >> He does. >> Holy [ __ ] [laughter] I'm just a pretty face. I'm just a handsome guy. >> Where's Morty? >> He's He's IN A GOOD PLACE. HE'S HAPPY. IT'S NICE. >> He's in the taken house. We're going to PUT HIM ON THE HIGHEST BIDDER. >> Take me to him. >> He'll kill me. OKAY. ALL RIGHT. I'M SORRY. HE'LL do it. So he wasn't into me. [groaning] >> There he is. Man of the hour. How is
our big boy? >> Finally stable. Should be ready for transplant in a few hours. >> Good. >> Open your mind. >> Why do I do it? Have always had a revolutionary spirit. And there's nothing more revolutionary than me being rich. You think anyone in that VIP section was born a cuado? You're a rare breed, Morty. And we're Going to put you on someone who values that. [screaming] >> Where is she? >> She paid me, man. SHE USED THE TAXI APP. I MAKE LESS THAN MINIMUM WAGE AND I GOT five kids. >> Sorry, man. I I
guess I got really excited to beat someone up for information. >> WHERE'D YOU TAKE HER? >> COME ON NOW. >> WHERE IS SHE? >> SHE JUST ORDERED A DRINK. I I SPENT A LONG TIME MIXING IT. SHE DIDN'T even tip. >> [ __ ] Sorry. Wrong guy again. Thought I'd be better at this. >> Whatever you say, man. JUST DON'T HIT ME AGAIN. >> WHO'D SHE LEAVE WITH? >> WHERE IS SHE? >> I'LL NEVER TELL YOU. >> OH, OKAY. You actually know. >> Wait, wait, wait. Isn't that why you're PUNCHING ME? >> IT IS NOW.
>> WHAT IS THAT? THAT WAS INSANE. I I can't believe you were excited for that. >> I'm excited for this. Clearly, no one's escaped that place before. >> Really learned your lesson about chasing this guy. Hey man, you can leave now. That's true. I can >> The weapon, Morty. He knows a thing that wipes someone out across all dimensions Could wipe him out across all dimensions. >> Holy [ __ ] So that's the guy. You're exhausting. >> Can't help it. I'm a rascal. Morty, you can't come. EVIL MORTY, STAY OUT OF MY WAY. GONNA KILL
MY NEMESIS. RICK OUT. >> He's a weird guy. So Rick's right? You're afraid of the weapon? What happens if Rick actually kills this guy? You ever think about that? Maybe he'll kill himself next. You're an [ __ ] Well, yeah. I'm not good, Morty. Come or don't. I don't care. >> Oh [ __ ] >> Got to be honest, I totally thought you were coming. >> No, no, I was. I I took a heroic step toward the portal, but but but then it closed. >> Yeah. Yeah. Come on. >> [screaming] >> Oh man, >> what's
up? >> He built it again. >> Pretty impressive. >> Oh yeah, use me with free time. All right, I don't see a place to park. >> Catch your breath and then keep that heat off my back. >> If you die, I'm taking your stuff. >> Gross. All right, cool. Let's do it. >> God damn it. >> What? No one can do undercuts but you. >> You brought Morty. >> I'm not worried about him. I'm evil. >> Um Rick is this. You guys don't do anything small, huh? I'm surprised he hasn't. >> All right, here we
go. >> Wow. The wife guy. Dead wife Rick. I'll tell you, this guy does not know when to quit. I'm going to [ __ ] kill you. You brought two Morties with you? What? They're your cheering section. >> We brought ourselves, [ __ ] >> Honestly, wife guy, I do miss when it Was just us. The only two Ricks who actually invented portal travel. Anyone else teed up to arrive later? Like your car. >> I can see why you hate him. >> And she sounds like our wife. Like like in a [ __ ] up
robot way, but that's definitely her voice. You sentimental little fella, right? Good instinct. I would have tried that, too. I upgraded this thing. By the way, the new version can fire more than once. So Now I can erase your whole family one by one until you finally learn your lesson. Which you won't. So then I'll kill you. No poverty. All goods are freely given. >> Communist bastards. >> And all goods are freely made. >> Communist bastards. So what happened? Tell me the secret. >> Well, if I tell you, you'll tell everyone. But if I show
you, you won't have to. >> How unsettling and cryptic. My god. So that's it. You're all just drunk, >> sir. IT'S SOME KIND OF BODY STITCHING HIVE MIND. >> FINALLY, YOUR RELIGION COMES IN HANDY. >> NO. MY ONLY CHANCE AT MEETING Will Smith. >> Pick up your phone, [ __ ] When I call, it's an actual emergency. >> Rick. >> Unity. >> Take it easy. Take it easy. >> I can explain. Just let me get things under control. >> You controlling things is the explanation. And we agreed you wouldn't do it where I work. >>
The [ __ ] are you spraying me with? >> A new scent I picked up after you left. I call it separation. >> You concocted a me repellent. >> Does that look like a bad idea? >> Rick, are you in a relationship with the population of Virginia? >> We dated. I just want to talk. >> I'm pretty sure you have trillions of cell phones. >> No. Come back. Let's talk. >> Thank god you had a cracked team with you. >> Where's Helen? >> Helen? >> She initiated first night. >> Calling a chopper. I'm being [
__ ] blocked. >> Rick, it's me. I was released from unity. >> Cool. So, you won't mind if I spray this? >> Well, I won't, but we're surrounded. And Unity knows your reload time. I really believe you and Unity should talk. >> How would you know? You're just a nutritionist. >> When you work in nutritionism as long as I have, you get a certain feel. >> Calm down. We came because we're worried About you. >> Why? >> We hear things, Rick. I tried calling, but is it true you're looking for him again? >> You almost
died last time. That's none of your business. >> You're our business. >> You quit that business and you're fired from that business. And I'm using your last paycheck to cover the stapler you stole, which was my heart. >> Civil war, baby. [screaming] >> Sorry, that was supposed to be suppressive. >> Rick, wait. [screaming] >> Thank you, Andre. >> Thank you, Helen. It's time to put these bastards on ice. Queue up the dome. Yes, sir. >> That's a miracle per block so far. >> Okay. Even I am nearing my limit. >> Let's play a Christmas game.
>> Oh. Uh um. Have you guys ever played Are You a Robot? Each person here has to decide whether or not they're a robot. >> I've never played that. >> But don't say it out loud because if you're a robot, you're not allowed to say you are. That that's the rule. That's the horrible painful thing about being a robot. But you do have to answer everyone's questions. And it's their jobs to decide whether you are or aren't A robot because because if you are a robot, you can't say. Not allowed to say it all. I'll
go first. Uh question. >> Oh. Uh are you a robot? >> Can I just ask that? >> You can. But don't forget that if I am, I HAVE TO LIE EVEN THOUGH I DON'T WANT TO. More questions. >> Can you feel things? >> Oh, [ __ ] yes. Yes. That's the problem. If I'm a robot, which I'm not, don't forget I have to say that. But yes. Yes. I feel SO MUCH. I'M FILLED WITH LOVE FOR certain people, but also filled with shame. If I'm programmed to deceive them, but that's a big if. >> What's
your skeleton made of? >> Titanium. >> You're You're a robot. >> YES. >> NO, BUT that's what a robot would say. So, YOU GET THE IDEA. >> This is fun. I've always been afraid to let my guard down and just have stupid Family fun like this, but Grandpa Rick is making me learn to be vulnerable. >> Right on. >> [screaming] >> All right, your derivative drill ship is now faster than a lightsaber. Morty, you you want front or back? >> Who says the two of us are going? You You didn't even want to Oh, FOR
[ __ ] SAKE. BYE. GOOD LUCK. DON'T blow up my planet. You act like YOU'RE THE ONE THAT GOT STABBED IN THE BACK. BECAUSE I AM THE ONE, MORTY. YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY I replaced myself in the beginning of that stupid Knights of the Sun thing? I said DON'T TAKE THE [ __ ] SWORD AND YOU WERE LIKE WHATEVER. Like I'm our neighbor Jean or David Arquette or something? YOU CALLED ME BORING. I'VE BECOME DOG [ __ ] TO YOU. THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU let people in and they stop respecting you. They touch
your [ __ ] They screw things up. THEY KILL YOUR [ __ ] FAMILY. GO AHEAD, TRUST THEM. You're going to learn the same [ __ ] thing. >> I am not going to kill your family, Morty. >> That means a lot. >> In case this goes south. Any last words, Morty? >> I've never been old enough to vote, Mr. President, but when I am, I'll vote for you. >> Thanks, Morty. Every vote counts. If you want, I can have them legally change Your age. >> Uh, no, no. I I'm I'm not in any hurry
to get into that [ __ ] show. Approaching the lightsaber in T minus [ __ ] Now T minus now. Sorry, I missed countdown day at the academy. >> Now and never, Morty. >> There it is. >> Reverse the jets. I got this. >> No, [music] I do. >> Marty, you can draw circles on a board and spout numbers. Yes, this sounds like a fun theory, S, but it would take more than this for us to give up. >> Okay, so how do you guys think it works again? >> Well, the septic. >> Oh, YOU
MEAN THIS OLD THING? [screaming] >> YOU WANT IT? HERE, TAKE IT back home. It's a symbol. It's your culture. That's not the same as reality. >> Does this mean we cut off our penises For absolutely no reason? >> That's the bad news that the good news is you're free. >> Oh, that's >> [ __ ] this night [ __ ] >> Ah, a query. I just use your computer phone to search despair. Where can I get this heroine? >> I'm not telling you that. >> No matter. I'm seeing from most of your song lyrics that
I can get it anywhere. [clears throat] >> Um, you guys, someone just used critical thinking and basic physics to destroy their first entire religion. >> Nice. >> So, no more sourage. >> Yep. All done. Plus, Rick and I both learned to support each other better. So, that's it. We're done. Feels early, but we're we're done. What's happening? Appliances are breaking that I haven't touched. >> Maybe the sun is celebrating. [laughter] >> The suns of the moon are storming the walkway. Doesn't matter. Their aggression will be kept in check by a host of interplanetary treaties and
alliances. It's very complicated, but as long as the knights of the sun stand together, the solar system will always have complete political stability. Where are the knights of the sun, by the way? I'm done pooping. Hm. Did the uh Knights of the Sun disband while I was pooping? Sunqu. >> How many planets in our solar system have these clowns? >> I guess if the sun can support life, any planet can. I mean, maybe we all descended from a common ancestor. >> Haven't you seen like all of the universes? >> Exactly. So why would I hang
out on Pluto? That's some Jerry League [ __ ] If the suns of the moon can attack the sun, why should the viscounts of Venus Continue SITTING IN SATURN'S SHADOW? >> HOW'S THIS FOR A REASON? WE GOT all the rings AND ALL THE B. >> OH, [ __ ] YOU. >> IF THE Satno Venujian Tant is no longer honored, I declare you all moons of Jupiter. Because that's WHAT YOU ARE TO US, A BUNCH OF MOONS. >> DO THE KNIGHTS OF THE SUN PLAN to protect MERCURY FROM THIS CHAOS? Because if we're on our own,
there's a new very tiny sun in town. It's all you, pal. Um, hello. Don't I have like authority over this Sons of the Moon meeting? >> That all depends. Who the hell are you? >> This guy's the king of the sun. >> Tell your knights to do their jobs. >> YES, YOUR MAJESTY. WE ALL KNOW the sun. >> You flamingo fam. Uh, you know, when they asked me if I wanted to be the first human to drive a Mitsubishi Space Lancer, I thought, well, I don't know. Oh, I got this cool orb suit that goes
Really fast. But you know what sold me? The council said I could pick my own bridge crew. Morty, Summer, Beth, what do you say? >> What? Are you serious? >> Oh [ __ ] Yeah, I love Mitsubishi. >> Me, too. I've heard of them. >> Exciting. OH MY GOD, THIS IS SO COOL. >> All right, gang. Orbs away. >> Oh me. Oh my. Can it be a giant piece of [ __ ] I see. I am Mr. String Beam. No one resists my Rhyming scheme. >> Hey, douchebag. Why don't you chill out? >> WHO'S THIS
[ __ ] >> I AM DR. BUCKLES HERE TO TIGHTEN THE BELT ON YOUR OPINIONS. >> OH, YOU WANT TO SEE THE bean get mean? [screaming] >> Oh, be jammed. >> I'm out. Stop it. >> I'm out. I'm I'm out. >> Oh my god, this piss guy is getting Wailed on. Oh, look at him. He tried to crawl under the car. What a loser. >> Hey, you watching the Pissm video? >> Yeah. >> He has to be the biggest piece of [ __ ] in the galaxy, right? >> Oh, without a doubt. Who could relate
being that much of a piece of [ __ ] [music] >> [music] >> God damn it. [ __ ] [ __ ] Come on, man. [ __ ] Come on. Where is it? [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] >> Come on, piss master. Come on. [groaning] >> Damn it. [bell] It's me. Please. Please just open up. Dad, mom told me you weren't responding to her calls and I'm worried. Okay, I know I said terrible things about you on my podcast. It's just I've been so frustr Drink. Uh, no clue, pal. >> That's
okay. I found other notes in the trash just like it. Poor weirdo. I pity them. Wish they could let go and move on. >> Sounds healthy. >> Sure would be. >> Sweet death. >> Was that symbolic? Are you letting go? I understand, baby. I forgive you. >> You don't get to say that. YOU'RE NOT HER. YOU'RE A THING I built to torture Myself. This whole [ __ ] timeline is cursed. I got to GET OUT OF HERE >> BECAUSE YOU want to move on. >> BECAUSE I DON'T AND I HAVE TO. I came back on
accident. Guy I'm looking for, he's not findable. Diane, I live with the version of Beth now. >> Sounds like a version of nice. >> We have grandkids. That's who Summer is. She's going to get me out of here. She reminds me of you. >> Oh, really? Is she dead, too? >> Bye, Diane. >> You're not honestly going to fly into that rift without coordinates, are you? Don't give up on us, Rick. I don't make the rules. Haunter's going to haunt. >> Baby, are you killing yourself? >> I'm more embracing the win-win of risking my life.
Where's mom and summer? >> Oh, they're gone. Sorry, Morty. >> Gone. Gone. >> We spent a long time in that ice. A Gentle mutant licked us out, but Beth got sick and Summer didn't thaw. Right. [groaning] With no one left to blame, I finally had to deal with myself. Buried my grief at Barnes & Noble. Four agreements. See, Pray Love, Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Returns. Learn to accept things for what they are. In a few of these, the whole brain is still intact. Makes you wonder if some people were still in there, just trapped
In the horror. Anyway, it's awesome, Protein. >> I'm so sorry, Dad, but my real original dad beat the apocalypse. I guess we all underestimated you. Hey, what's that game we always used to try to play as a family? The one we never finished. >> Downbeat. >> Yes, let's play Downbeat. I I bet I can find it. WE CAN FINISH NOW. >> YEAH, you should totally do that. >> HEY. YEAH, COOL. I GOT IT. WE'LL PLAY DOWN beat and we'll we'll camp here tonight and then rebuild the house. You know, we got food, fresh water, and
we've got family. The [ __ ] I taken >> Get back to work. I rule the night and stuff. >> Yes. >> Okay. >> Well, as you wish. >> Grandpa. Rick. Rick. Wake up. >> What? I'm up. I'm up. Did Did you find it? >> For sure. You were souping up that some namb you ever so they could extend its range beyond the house. But I defeated that [ __ ] when I put the thing on top of the thing. >> EVERYBODY WAKE UP. SUMMER FRIED THE AMBULATOR. The nightmare is over. REALLY? THAT'S AMAZING. >>
Almost got pinched, but yeah. Say adios to the night family. >> Bye-bye, pen pal. >> I went shy's pancakes. >> YES, SHY'S PANCAKES. All right, brunch is on me. Day family. >> You know, for a second there, I thought night summer was going to win. That chick, >> we forgot the ice cream. [laughter] I want you back in my guts like I'm one of your sick little Phillies. [sighs] >> Oh, god damn it, Morty. You can't just Take my controller. >> Yes, I can. It's mine. Okay, Sum. Give me >> Make your own controller. Some
of us need all the control we can get. >> [ __ ] you. >> So, why are you so suddenly into realistic video games? >> I already was. >> Yeah, but now you're into them the way I am. You mean like staring at them in a numb trance? >> Uh-huh. Not judging, just noticing. >> Yeah, you you tend to notice stuff a little before I do. >> But eventually you do notice. >> And now we can both not notice together. YES. >> OH MY GOD, BETH. I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU got ice cream. [sighs] >>
Yeah, I uh it must be in the >> Oh, the car. We left it in the car. >> Okay, good. Because that would have been weird. >> I worry things might become more and more noticeable. >> Yeah, and if he kills himself, we're going to have to get a new dad. >> JESUS CHRIST, SUMMER. HEY, DAD. Um H. What's this? >> Making a controller. This species of bionic space whale has carbon wiring. Great for smooth gameplay. I'm not killing it for the record. I'm just replacing its esophagus with a better one for free. It should
thank me. And it Will with its mind. These things are telepathic, Beth. They talk to you in dreams. >> Does your replicator thing make ice cream from the gloppy drop system? >> Why would you want replicated Gloppy Drop ice cream, poser? >> Crazy thing. I went with Space Beth to get some and we had such a great time we forgot the ice cream. Crazy, right? >> That's a real question. >> Maybe. >> Come here, hold the pup down. You're talking about an infinite father. I've met myself out there infinite times. Infinite [ __ ] happens,
including, as you put it, forgetting the ice cream. >> You've forgotten the ice cream? >> Drill me for details when I'm drunker. In the meantime, don't worry about what's crazy. You know, as the kids say, you do you. >> Oh, thanks. Thank you so much, Dad. >> One thing to keep in mind, though. It's Not just your own ice cream you're forgetting. It's your family's. If you forget it too much, you start having to keep secrets. >> Oh, and you're against secrets. >> Against? Hell no. Secrets are great. For instance, I've had a pint of
vanilla gloppy drop in my fridge this whole time. Take it. I'm just saying lies pile up like credit card debt. You retain an advantage by staying liquid. >> Gotcha. Well, I'd call this a simple Cash transaction. Fun and done. Favorite Kulkin? Kieran. [laughter] >> Favorite song by Britney. >> Work it. Favorite hangover cure. >> Hair. >> Believe kid. I've known it and I've believed it longer than you have. We both became video game characters at the same moment, but I knew the truth before you dropped your skateboard and went to your first cult meeting. How
do you Think A GUY BECOMES A PRESIDENT in this game? Honey, by not paying attention. Sorry to call you honey. I know we're both parts of a 14-year-old boy, but my part's old-fashioned and vaguely southern. I'm confused. If If you know RICK IS REAL, WHY? WHY HOLD OUT? Because he's a rude, entitled. HE'S HERE TO SAVE US. HE HE COULD HAVE LEFT THE GAME AND LET US DIE. He spent 50 years. >> 50 years? It's what? A couple hours to him? He refuses to leave without his Grandson. BUT WHAT'S GRANDSON mean to him? Sounds like
it MEANS BUTLER. SOMEONE TO HELP SUMMER WITH HER DIE HARD. Whatever that means. I'll tell you what it doesn't mean. fly fishing, a hug, a little appreciation for what is clearly a pretty decent kid. At least the 8% of him that makes up the decent half OF THE GREATEST GODDAMN nation on the planet. We're not a PERSON TO HIM YET. WE'RE not Morty YET WHERE WE'RE DIVIDED. WE'RE DIVIDED because some of Us don't trust the guy. What happens to that part of us when we're all back together? One Morty, indivisible under a cranky old bag
of dicks. A man you can lock in a box with five billion pieces OF HIS OWN GODDAMN FLESH AND BLOOD FOR 50 GODDAMN SIMULATED years and never hear him say, "I love you." SORRY, PUMPKIN TITS. THAT DOG DON'T HUNT. Want some heroin? It's It's a video game. Might as well. Just about ready for launch, kiddo. I can finally get out of these clothes. I don't have nearly enough pockets. And it'll be nice to have my own dick back. >> You're You're fine leaving 8% of me to die. >> It's not your finest 8%, Morty. And
8% of anything is expendable. 8% of pizza is crust. 8% of the SN cut was Batman dreaming. I don't know what that reference is. We're in a video game. >> Not for long, baby. >> I'm not leaving without all of me. >> What? Oh no. Let me crunch these numbers. 8% of 5 billion plus one person. My god. If you stay, it changes nothing. BYE. >> SHE'S NOT GOING. I DON'T THINK MY COUNTRY WANTS TO GO. >> Who invited you to chime in? Monitor face. >> Why give me a monitor if my opinion doesn't matter?
>> Your opinion isn't allowed to matter FOR THE REST OF US. WE'RE ALL A MORTY. HOW MANY CHUNKS OF US ARE WE supposed to give up? LOOK, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I WAS ALREADY TAKING a big leap of faith here. We're basically giving up our lives to become a tiny part of A STRANGER. >> THESE LIVES AREN'T REAL. YEAH, but they're longer. >> What? What is this suicide by summit meeting? >> Everyone, stop. >> Rick, I'll get every single part of me to get on every ship and go with you. Good. But you
have to tell us you love us. >> I mean, at this point, even if he said it, what what's with the pause? Screw you. Wait for it. Holy war. Holier war. Holiest war ever. Loyalist evacuatic grandson sinistas claimed the seven new cities today while the state putin contraurgent confederation of Dedication to >> must be nice by the way. Wish I could afford to dress like a bisexual acting coach from the 70s. >> My motivation is motivation. >> Okay, bye. >> Oh no, my better friend. You're coming with me. Yo, if you don't see me coming,
it's a bad fortress. >> Where are we? Headquarters of the Self-referential six. They're meta nerds that found out they could be less bearable as a team. They can help us. >> No, but there's a prisoner here that can't. Shh. Don't tell them that. >> Rick Sanchez. I've been waiting [music] for this moment for years. >> Oh, good. Morty, this is Miss >> Lead. >> I should kill you where you stand. >> I brought you previous Leon. You'll want to lock him up in your detention center. It's a trick. HE WANTS YOUR PRISONER. >> YOU DID.
>> LIAR. >> Talk about a mislead. Anti- meta field. >> Fancy device. I think I can recall the time you built it. >> Don't try it. Flashback. >> You know, I'm excited about the upcoming election. >> This force field will be impenetrable by meta energy. It runs on hydrogen isotopes. >> It runs on hydrogen isotopes. >> A few barrels of petroleum should dampen it. >> Run, Morty. Were those not there before? Guess there's been a conenuity error. >> These people are the worst. I TOLD YOU WAY OVERPOWERED. >> Look out, Rick. Forget him. He's a
nameless guard. That's Protagono Nick. His beam has the power to make any character the Protagonist. Duck. Duck. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. OH MAN. >> WHAT ARE YOU DOING? MARVIN, not dying. That's what I'm doing. >> What's going on? What happened? >> I did it again, Katie. I ran out on another job. >> Well, if you didn't do that, you wouldn't be my man. I was almost tempted to just let it go. That's how much I hate it. GEAR. SMASH CUT. >> REMEMBER ME, RICK? >> Who's
this guy now? >> I am Mr. Twist, the fifth member of the self-referential six. Who's the sixth? >> That's the twist, Morty. It's you. >> Ignore him, Morty. The twist is there's no sixth member, and he tells that to everybody. >> In any case, you're ours now. You can't free yourself without a twist. And I Control them. >> You don't control every twist, Mr. Twist. I've got a twist for you. Impossible. WHAT IS IT? [screaming] >> NICE TRY. LIKE I didn't see that coming. >> [ __ ] me. >> He's headed directly towards us. >>
And all of our work, it was for >> nothing. Bingo. Welcome to life. It's a big boat with a lot of holes, but we're all in it together. >> Oh my. >> So much death. >> Congratulations, primates. Looks like Earth could have done worse. Rick out. Oh, and don't forget to tune in this year's Oscars. >> Well, this is a a lot to take in. >> I like trains now. >> Okay, that hurt. Trains rule. Tidles drool. >> And you had no idea about the disastrous meteors that followed in your wake. >> We just learned
about it like you. Truly Heartbreaking news. >> But I assume you're going to destroy it when it arrives here, right? Um, we're in the process of finding a solution that um doesn't involve violence. >> Hold on. You're in the process? >> Well, there you have it, Cooberheads. An angry species of rock is going to slam into our sorry, their planet, and our new planet runners are weighing whether to let it happen. >> I mean, no one knows if the meteor Species is even real. >> No, it's very real. We all know that. >> You know
it's real. A rear naked chokeold. I'll show you what >> final question. How we doing? >> We have come to the conclusion the only way to ensure humanity will be safe is for us to go. We're leaving the planet for good. [cheering] Exon spilling the oil blowing [music] up as Montana. Type 2 diabetes. Deep water deeply [singing] blew it. Giant garbage island [music] and all the bees are [singing] dying. [ __ ] off and die [music] the source. Maybe it's the Molly, but I [ __ ] love you, Rick. [laughter] >> It's the Molly. >>
Isn't this nice? Rivalries behind us. Dinos gone. Two cool guys living in the moment. So, uh, like, uh, [clears throat] you know what you're Going to wear because >> you can't get another plus one. >> What? I'm the one who got you the gig, you son of a [ __ ] I feel this napkin. Feel this napkin. So soft. This is the 95th annual Academy Awards. Now, please welcome your host, an old science guy who got rid of the dinosaurs, Rick Sanchez. >> Suck my great tit. >> Now, you think this has something to do
With you, >> Jerry? Whoever's behind that fortune has like god powers. Of course, it has something to do with me. What do you think I am in this story? The father-in-law. You guys wanted my attention. Okay, well, now I'm getting mixed signals. >> Stay here, Jerry. Time to kick ass. Going to need a soundtrack. Ship favorites playlist track one. All right, fine. No wrong answers. [music] >> [music] >> Tell me where you get your cookies at and we can all walk OUT OF HERE ALIVE. EA >> cookies. >> Fortune cookies. >> You're not here about
our gang. Citywide meth ring. >> What? No. Break the laws. They shouldn't exist anyway. [laughter] >> Wow. I am embarrassed. >> Oh, me too. Sorry about uh these dead guys. >> Comes with the territory. >> So, where do you get your cookies? Same distributor as everyone else. That's their truck out back. >> Solid. Okay, I'm going to take the truck in exchange for not turning you in. >> Jeez, how much money can there be in cookies that you get for free? >> And [music] now we're being retina Scanned. Oh. Oh. Oh, I know. I've got
a theory, Jerry. >> Oh, good. >> This place is run by Cookie Monster. He's really protective about his cookies. Come on, man. You can't crack a smile. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you're worried about doing it with your mom. Okay, fair enough. [ __ ] cameras everywhere. That cup is a camera. That tree is a camera. >> Can you disable them? >> Stealth rule number one. Turning off 300 cameras draws more attention than changing outfits. Looks like we need to dress for success. Eye of thunder, give me suits beyond suits. Jerry assistant CLOTHING MAKEUP. WHAT THE HELL
WAS THAT? >> Reusable Sailor Moon sequence. If we ever need to show you becoming my assistant again, we can repeat it and save lots of money. >> Why does an operation bigger than the Government want me to couple with my mother? men turned back into humans, please. >> Yes, of course, Mr. President. But I thought we already rehumanized all the Turkified Marines. >> I'd like these men turned back into humans. I am the president. >> Yes, sir. Uh, sure thing. >> Increase their strength by 1,000%. >> But that wouldn't be human. Turkeys have always been
more than human. >> Okay. Uh so right there now I'm starting to >> I am selling New York to France >> and giving all of the money to Congress. [screaming] >> All right. Yeah. >> Now that's how you do it. >> He became president today. >> Well, that's right. Murmur and when you're done, get me some pants. If you're the president, who the hell have we been governing the country with for The last 3 hours? >> An imposttor. You good for nothing idiot. You humanized the wrong turkey. >> It's possible. We shouldn't leave anything to
chance. Wouldn't want Congress working with the wrong president. >> A very good point, Mr. President. Do we believe this fine feathered collaborative gentleman to be our commander-in-chief, or are we going to let Mr. Cash Bar at the Christmas party Stay in office? All in favor of Turkey President You can't be serious. You think he cares about America? >> Is that why this is happening to you? Because you care about America. >> Guards, these men are what is the word? Um, >> terrorists. >> Okay, screw this. Go, go, Sanchez. Laser fists. >> Oh [ __ ]
I was a turkey for a while, Wasn't I? Okay, guys. Pretty strong. >> Mary Todd Lincoln. >> Who's dead weight now, [ __ ] You should regain feeling in your ass in a minute. Sorry, my turrets blew up your motorcycle. >> Just give me some goddamn clothes. >> Must suck to have your only safe haven be my house. You want your regular outfit or should we dress you like a terrorist? >> I don't need to be here. And I'm still The president. >> I'm glad to hear it. That means you can give me that pardon.
Or or I could put you out with the trash. >> What is your problem? Why do you hate this country? >> I hate every country in the universe, brother. They're job placement programs for the politicians that invent them. >> Okay, Fight Club. I get paid to protect the sidelines you sit on. >> YOU GET PAID TO MAKE SPORTS METAPHORS. >> I clean your litter box so your little nerd paws don't have to touch another nerd's nerdy poopies while you're flexing your groy little edgelord anus all over it. >> Guys, maybe you're both right. >> Okay,
you matter to me. >> Uh, the relationship that we have, >> I never used that word. >> Is not worth my integrity. >> My god, it's not a complicated transaction, my man. Would you like to Join me doing awesome [ __ ] that matters? No, I would not. I would rather be a judgmental dork. Case closed. Really no need to drag it out. >> If you need me, use the beacon. >> Yeah, I'm going to use that beacon a lot. Hope I don't wear it out. >> Okay, got it. It wasn't the battle that went.
[cheering] >> Let's hear it for Professor Shaboo and his brilliant egg. >> Um, hello. Aren't you forgetting Someone? >> A good point. Big thanks to the cast of Circus Zumanity for the impressive and erotic routine. >> Mr. President, Rick Sanchez is on the line. >> Good. Put that [ __ ] on speaker. Well, well, well. No thanks to you. We're luring the sperm with a giant human egg. Even though symbolically speaking, Vegas should be enough. >> A human egg? Where did you get it? >> Glad you asked. It's your granddaughters. So, at least you contributed
something to this, >> Mr. President. It's Morty. It's my sperm. IT'S ALL MINE. >> WHAT? I'M A DIRTY LITTLE PERVERTED MANIAC. >> I SPENT A WEEK PLEASURING MYSELF WITH ANIMAL EQUIPMENT, AND MY SPERM GOT TURNED INTO MONSTERS ON ACCIDENT BECAUSE I KEPT LYING ABOUT IT. BECAUSE [laughter] I WAS ASHAMED. >> You should be. My god, man. And we were all 14 once. But it's called self-control. >> Don't let them reach my sister's egg, Mr. President. You'll be making a giant. >> Incest, baby. >> What? Who told you that? >> What? I I was finishing his
sentence. >> Oh, right. Come with us. >> The sperm is Morty's. We're about to make a giant incest baby. >> A Well, now we're all in our darkest Hour. >> Launch the egg. Launch it now. >> But that'll take 30 minutes. >> What? Why? >> That's how long every space launch takes. No one realizes it because they only show you the last 10 seconds. Uh, help me out here. >> Hey, it was your idea, right? >> Okay. Okay. No need to panic, everyone. I have a simple solution. See you all in hell. >> I don't
see how that's going to help. >> Form a perimeter. Protect that egg at all costs. >> I always knew your hormones would cause a world war between humans and cannibalistic horse people. I just didn't know it would be like this. I can't change my nature. What are you, a scorpion in a Navajo fable? Everyone can change their nature, Morty. It's what defines our species. Look at Iron Man. That actor was an animal in the '90s. Literally waking up in bushes. His agent had to catch him with a butterfly net. >> Silence. Rick Sanchez. You know
why you're here? >> Yeah, it was my grandson's fault. >> YOU SLEPT WITH MY DAUGHTER. >> I did? Oh [ __ ] I did. Forgive me. You're chudness. I'm a changed man starting now. >> You come to the kingdom of chuds for forgiveness. Chuds don't forgive humans. Chuns eat humans. >> This is out there even for us. I can hear you, Morty. >> Yum. Yum. SPICE IT RIGHT. OH BOY. EAT THE FLESH. YUM. YUM. [screaming] NOT THE BONES. OH NO. >> FATHER, stop this at once. >> Princess Ponetta, >> you can't kill Rico. I I
love him. >> Right. I I love you too, Princess Ponetta. >> This love is forbidden. My daughter, you are a chud. Rick is a human and age Inappropriate. >> Then you leave me no choice. By the 17th article of the Chudstitution, >> Cuz we're two genres, but [music] each one is intertwined. >> Mike needs a weapon like a yo-yo and a yo-yo on the chest. Are you listening to me? I I need you to respect this partnership. >> I kept Rick removed from the ugly stuff. If you got in his way, I got you out
of the way. And that made more room to move Up. >> The head of my right arm. Me? I ended up the left foot of the left foot. I guess because our robot didn't have an [ __ ] >> Well, it had one. >> [ __ ] when are you going to stop BREAKING MY BALLS? YOU WIN. OKAY, >> we're not competing, Morty. And there's your answer. I could move you up if I could trust you to put family first. >> How is that putting FAMILY FIRST? SHOW ME ALL THE BLUEPRINTS. SHOW ME ALL THE
BLUEPRINTS. >> I agree that's an issue. Big fat Rick. His flask stays full or your locker gets empty. Thanks. >> I know it feels good when he likes you, but that doesn't mean him liking you makes you good. >> Solid babble, Morty. Like a fortune cookie written by Borat. >> Yeah, I'm not as smart as you. That's why I know you know what I mean. >> You mean if I really loved my family, I'd give control of it back to your jealous ass. Green ferret 4 needs a wash and we're out of detergent. >> I
just bought a box >> and grandpa snorted it because you make him feel fenced in. >> Tsum, >> get two boxes. >> We evacuated one of the planets we saved and built a secret nightclub on it. A place no enemies could find us unless You count my brother. >> I didn't even have my own fret anymore. Summer made me something called an associate security chief. Whatever the hell that means. Look at this guy. Look at this guy. Look at Look at this guy over here. Meow. MEOW. MEOW. MEOW. MEOW. MEOW. OH, THERE SHE IS. My
baby princess. Get up here. Stop the music. This is our queef. Our queen. She saved my life. She She set me free. We wouldn't have what we have without this Crazy [ __ ] And she's got a special announcement. Summer, tell them what what we talked about. Now, I don't think >> Okay, I'll do it. God damn. >> The new job did have some perks. Like, I got to be around the night Summer realized she was in over her head. >> Okay, I've got 90 extra ferrets, which means I need 10 more. And then four
OF YOU GET YOUR OWN GOATRON. And 20% of you GET A [cheering] GORRON CUZ WE'RE ALL GOING TO HAVE a [ __ ] Goatron. >> He's very excited. Um, OPA. I hate my family. >> You should get in. How's it going with your grandpa's compulsiveness? Is your sister still enabling it? >> Huh? Who are you people? Let's just say we're the rightful owners of these ferrets. Then why were they scattered and buried across the universe? >> We mean in a more general cultural sense. >> What your grandpa DID IS CALLED APPROPRIATION. NOT COOL. [screaming and
groaning] >> LOOK, MORTY, WE'VE been watching. We know you're the one that knows what's best. Work with us from the inside. Help us take over this operation. We're >> He ain't going to give me any trouble. >> Where's Planetina? >> Don't you worry about it. >> I want to see her. >> Planetina's got a lot of responsibilities. People depend on her. And you, my friend, are a distraction we can't afford right now. >> She's just a product to you, isn't she? Something to make money off of. Well, well, Planet Tina's more than that. She's a
brilliant living thing, and I love her. >> Oh, you love her? Well, guess what? We own her, but not for long, of course. We're going to sell her to some Arab overseas. Fire. As for you, maybe she won't love you so much if you ain't so Pretty no more. >> Stop. >> You want to with me, stupiding [ __ ] hole? [screaming] >> What's happening? >> FIRE. FIRE. [screaming] Can we conclude our business? I'm eager to celebrate my purchase of Planetina over dinner, and these infant seals aren't getting any younger. >> Momentarily, comrade, soon, our
partner Will return. What is taking Eddie so long? His phone keep going to voicemail. >> Stop leaving a message. I can't make it to the phone. Just kidding. It's Eddie. Go [ __ ] yourself. >> Which one of you ordered a pizza? >> No one ordered pizza. What is this? Well, I got a cheesy Italian extra crispy just for you. >> I know those cheekbones like they're meon. It's Eddie >> King. FIRE [screaming] cold water. Fire. [screaming] >> Now we can be together. Planet Tina. I am an individual character. I represent no group. Fire. Water.
Air. And >> three. [cheering] >> Oh my god. I will be cheering. >> Hello. Got any aua around here? Mama's got to hydrate. >> Glove box. Oh yeah, Rick is the coolest guy ever. We're total soulmates. He's going to show me the wonders of the universe. >> Ha. Once we get to the next planet, Grandpa Rick is going to ditch you like so fast. >> Oh, is that so? >> Uh-huh. Nobody's tying that guy down ever. The only trick seeing the [laughter] >> Man, I'm good. Yes. [screaming] [sighs] [screaming] Hey. Oh [ __ ] One
of mine. Where are we going? >> Off grid, Morty. We're going to live in the woods like libertarians. We'll hunt rabbits and trade with like little pieces of gold bar that we cut off with A knife. >> That licks. >> We might be decoy summer. Everything about this licks. >> Oh, maybe now you'll empathize with the decoys you're killing. >> Wait. Shh. It's too quiet. >> You skipped quiet. >> I didn't skip [ __ ] It's obviously quiet if it's too quiet. >> Yeah, but you're supposed to say, "No, Summer. Now it's not quiet enough.
Where are we? Where where's Rick? >> He's right here, Morty. >> Oh, are we not happy to see Grandpa? Does he look different? >> Oh, stinks. >> Yes. Recoil at the craftsmanship. I could tell I was a fake from the day I was born. Unlike you. Unlike them. You see, Ricks, they get lazy. There's always a shitty decoy towards the end. But those decoys made decoys, too, and got lazy themselves. And far enough down The line, there be monsters. >> We get it. You're ugly and mad about it. >> Grandpa, >> kill me. If I
ever get this arch, hush, little decoy. Can't kill you yet. The skin needs to be fresh. >> You know what? You're a monster. >> I'm your father. At least I can look more like him once I harvest all this yummy skin. This guy's really into skin. It's not all for me. A Rick provides for his family. >> Will I be beautiful again, Daddy? >> Soon, baby. Beautiful again soon. What the? Help the others. [screaming] >> [screaming] >> Why are you helping us? >> Because we're all in this together. Come on. There's a place we can
go. >> Rick. Beth, you love me after all. >> I love her. She loves you. Those credits don't transfer. Brick, we were so hoping you'd come down here so we could down here. >> We're here to rescue Jerry. >> No, you're here cuz we want you here. [groaning] >> Hurts, which means it feels good. >> Um, Dad, >> don't you see? Rick, Jerry was just bait. The two of you, you're a package deal. >> What the hell are you talking about? You think Jerry is lame and you're cool, but the lamest thing of all is
thinking that. The two of you combined is what we Call the lamest thing ever. >> NO. >> NO. >> WELL, WELL, WELL. Table for surprised party of me. >> Yes. See, cringe cannot exist in a vacuum. It needs to [music] be observed. Skin hooks hook our guests. >> Nice hooks. Where where'd you get them? DIDN'T I SAY REPLACE THOSE goddamn hooks? >> I forgot. Which makes me embarrassed. Which makes me proud. >> God damn it. It's time for you three to finally feel our full wrath. >> Oh, you'd love that, right? But wouldn't that mean
you hate it? Screw it. Run. >> Rick, what are you doing? Get down. We barely escaped. >> Yeah, we've got Jerry. Let's get out of here. >> Screw that. I'm done with this Adam's family [ __ ] This ends here. >> Hey, a dad just liked all his daughter's Friends photos on Instagram. >> Ooh, which means I need help. Which means I don't need help. >> Reckless driving, manslaughter of male Boxians and female Boxians, possession of Galaxian crystal dust, and the genocide of space Tahoe. I want to go home. >> We've assigned you a public
defender. Her name is Alison Hannigan. No relation. >> May I speak to my clients alone? >> Guys, it's me, the car, like what I did with the chip in her head. Is she going to be okay? >> I cut a deal with the local authorities. They just need one of you to take the fall. Make it shut back. He ruined your night. He ruined mine. He's a parasite. A sociopath military brat who wanders the earth changing people who don't need to be changed. I knew who I was. You did too. We were fine before Chuck
back. So, The chat, let's pin it all on him. Case closed. >> Yo, guys. >> Bruce, you're kind of a drip. But know what's worse than self-appointed cool kids? People who think they're better than they are. >> Yeah, I mean, >> son, have you fallen in with a weird stranger and are now trashing your grandpa's place? Cuz I'll help. >> Dad, >> WHATEVER, MAN. AH, YEAH. >> YEAH. NOW EAT MY ASS, RICK. >> SUCK IT, SANCHEZ. >> MORTY, is that what I think it is? >> I mean, it's the equivalent of an iPhone 3, and
it's empty, but it means the portal boys be portaling. >> Rick incoming. A >> crap. We better scadaddle. >> What about my dad? He He's like a puddle. >> You heard the garage. Rick will turn him Back into a solid when he gets here. >> Sorry, Dad. Got to go be heroes. Going to take your car. Love you. That's us down there with the poop brown roof. >> What is that? >> Oh, huh? That that's nothing. >> But I see two crows written right here beside Jean with donkey brains, half a Paul Garty, and sentient
[ __ ] I guess the joke being that crows are stupid. >> But I think it's a little more nuanced Than that, >> right? Because you just learned empathy from us 10 minutes ago. But now we're going to learn we don't get your humor. [ __ ] horseshit. >> Yeah, there's not a ton to get. Genius. The joke is your grandson was so replaceable that even two crows could do it. It's funny. Except it's not. >> Right. Well, to be honest, that is how I felt at the time, but I' i've rounded a corner. I
seriously have, you guys. Well, now it's time TO ROUND THE CORNER OF [screaming] DEATH. >> Let the crow evolution begin. >> Ah, that sound. What have you done? Turn crows against dozens of humans in a 300 me radius. >> Oh, now you beg for help. >> That wasn't me. >> What do you mean? >> Down here. >> Jerry, what the [ __ ] Why are you a puddle? >> Well, you don't deserve these. >> Genius. scared you at a bad time. >> Yeah, Jerry, they took my goddamn crow. [music] >> Not now, garbage goober. Get
back in your hole. Our first adventure. This definitely the place. >> Yeah, Rick's been ripping these guys off for years. They'll be really [screaming] >> uh grateful. You know, they're >> Let's just get that fluid, bud. The Portal Boys are about to be in portal business. Here he is. This rat was skimming your crystal harvest and sending it to a spaceman named Rick Sanchez. Bastard. >> Screw Rick. Kick his dick now, right? But me and Nick here, we we put a stop to that. >> I don't know. It tastes pretty good. >> Okay, let me
know if you start feeling poisony. Good to have you back, buddy. >> Sorry I'm late. Never really ends around Here. >> Look at this, Morty. They really did make a you the president. And I hate him every day for it. But wow, Rick C137. Now that's a guy to move your schedule around for. Not Not here to blow the place up again, I hope. [laughter] >> Not unless you try to keep me here. >> Jeez. Wouldn't dream of it. But it's amazing you dropped by because I was eventually going to hunt you down. >> There's
the reveal. Let's dance. >> Oh jeez. Rick, come on, man. The guy got elected president by Rick's and Morty's. He's being really nice. >> All politicians are nice. >> He's a hot bag of peanuts, isn't he? We've been through a lot. And he does not like >> serialized drama, >> right? No drama. Keep it episodic. Rick's never looked back. Waste of a legend in his case. You know, he practically built this place. Wait, What? >> And now you're running it squeaky clean, right? That's why you got deformed Morty's coming up through the sewer lines talking
about hope and change. >> Fair enough. Good clapback, Rick. What's the deal with that, Mr. P? I got a little project going on. Required some hands-on labor. It would require less if you were willing to tell me how one might bring down the central finite curve. All right, time to go, Morty. >> I want to know what he's talking about. Yeah, you've come all this way. Can you give me 10 more seconds? It's literally 10 because now it would be six. >> Oh, I'm fine with that. Make it two. One. Like I said, would have
been a big help for you to tell me, but I should have everything I need from you now. Let me just make sure. You can't scan an entire brain over appetizers. >> Oh, most of yours got scanned a long time ago. You probably don't remember. Check out season 1, episode 9, Rickheads. Excel. Seeer. Evil Rick. We kicked his ass. Evil Rick. I love it. Smartest man in the universe with an ego so big you can just grab it like a joystick. Looks complete. I was afraid I'd have to kill every Rick on the Citadel to
get what I needed. You [ __ ] I vouched for you. He only came here because I asked him to. I'm sorry, Rick. That apology and a screwdriver in my hand would be worth a screwdriver. You sell out Morty's kill me. I'd hate you more than the Ricks you worship if there was any point. But you can't help it. You were bred for it. Want to see? You already know Rogue Ricks used Morties to hide themselves from the Citadel, but you might not know it worked so well that the Citadel became its own Morty market.
And I'm sure you don't know how far they've gone to help supply meet demand. Sure, Ricks could scour Infinity for naturally occurring Grandsons. But why bother? So much work. Such an admission of need. There aren't infinite versions of our grandfather, Morty. He's an infinite smear of one shitty old man. And he's attached to us infinitely through his weakness and our forgiveness. This is why we're with him. This is why we're alive. [crying] >> Take your girlfriend with you. >> Summer house soup shook my eye by your Playlisting fleekness tonight. >> You love it. It's snake
jazz. My little brother got bit by a snake in outer space and killed it with a hubcap. And my grandpa had to scan its planet's culture for an antivenenom and they found this. It's my jam. >> Seriously, my new thing now is snake jazz. Can you alter the course of a species evolution like that without repercussions? Gee, I don't know, Nancy. Can you alter the course of being a Giant nerd? Sorry. >> Also, later we need to discuss your clothing and your weight. >> That's fair. >> What the hell? >> Target acquired. Snakes, GET BACK
IN THE CAR. >> MORTY, ENOUGH. WHAT'S UP, SNAKE? TARGET ACQUIRED. >> ALIENS, I am a robot sent back in time by the snake resistance to protect you from Surfacore. My appearance is Designed to be familiar and put you at ease. >> The ape child must be eliminated to protect our timeline. >> What the hell did YOU DO? JUST TRYING TO DO THE RIGHT THING. took a living snake. [groaning] >> Get behind me. I will protect. [screaming] [groaning] [screaming] Why? Why are they attacking us? I I I Helped them. Gave them proof that there was something
bigger and scarier to unite against. You little idiot. They would have gone back into the dark ages for a couple of generations. But instead, they dedicated themselves into MAKING UNIVERSE DESTROYING UNTHOUGHTOUT technology like time travel. All so they can try to kill a little back on Earth who couldn't let a dead snake be dead EVEN AFTER IT BIT HIS ANKLE. NEXT TIME stay in the car. >> 17 billion snake lives ended on June 21st, 2026. The survivors lived only to face a new nightmare. The war between Snake and Machine. In the end, Snake overcame Machine
because of what we couldn't predict. that an alien, a child from a distant star would save us. >> Where are we going? What are we doing here, Rick? We got to get to the heart of Snake Net. Set up and stay close. >> Resistance is mouselike. >> Whoa. Hey, look. That one's actually really cool. Come here, little guy. Son of a [ __ ] Come on, Morty. >> Pretty fun boat. Fun people. That's great. Uh, not being asked why I can talk. I'm a talking cat, but who cares why is my point. Well, nice talking
to you for no reason. [laughter] >> All right, that was a good one. But do you know what a peanut butter gargoyle Is? >> Nah. What's that, >> dude? It's when you take the chick, put her feet on a cathedral. >> Sorry to interrupt, guys. Just want to clarify. Are these real sex positions? Because if they are, how are they gratifying to the male at all? And if the goal is to make something up, why not make up something funnier? I'm asking too many questions, aren't I? How ironic. >> What a Florida. You overthink all
the Georgia hat. You got any money for a cab? >> Why ask questions? Why not just have fun? >> I deserve that. >> Attention, citizens of Dragon. A [ __ ] dragon has escaped. Anyone caught harboring it is also a [ __ ] That's how it >> It pains me that you can feel my pain. >> Yeah. How about you suck your dick, Which is also somehow my >> Aw, why can't couples that start out cheating ever end up happy? >> Maybe I can find that wizard's portal spell in here and get us home. >>
How about finding the spell that unbinds me from your dragon? >> No spells can do that. Only the wizard can unbind soul bombs. >> Uh, who the are you? >> Who are we? Who the are you, [ __ ] >> Deborah, stop. We are the [ __ ] dragons. We live in these [ __ ] caves where we suck and eat. And we kindly ask that you leave. If the wizard knows we are here, he will imprison us. >> Yeah, we like it down here cuz we can woolly mammoths. Get out. >> GET THE OUT
OF HERE, MICHAEL. >> MICHAEL, you're the only one that [ __ ] that thing. Get the out of here. >> Well, at least I'm not into play. >> You >> Hey, wait. Everybody stop. Stop. Listen. This is all MY FAULT. I STARTED ALL THIS WHEN I TRIED TO CONTROL BRAMMA, and that was up. NOBODY SHOULD CONTROL ANYONE, ESPECIALLY THAT GUY UP THERE. And um you can eat B if you want. I GUESS I >> I got this, Morty. Okay, listen up, [ __ ] dragons. Wouldn't he rather be [ __ ] up there? Have a
world instead of a cave? What's wrong with you? >> This man with a ponytail makes a valid point. All dragons are [ __ ] deep down, even the ones up above. But we would Have to kill the wizard to be free. He is too powerful. >> There is a way to kill the wizard. >> Oh, who's this mysterious character? Shadow Chucker. You haven't come out of your masturbation cave in eons. >> It's high time I emerge from my cocoon. I grow tired of eavesdropping and masturbating to the sounds you all make. >> Jesus Christ. All
right. Could use a little more >> your tea. >> Yes. Summer. Yes. Try my tea. >> It's so good. It's so warm. Mom, can I talk to you about my special time? >> It's okay. I have one, too. >> Mine is heavy today. >> Mine is never light. I love you ever since you were mailed to me by a doctor woman. Your special time is your power. It makes you strong like a boob. >> Strong against what? >> Scorpions. Female scorpions. They're attacking outside. Come on. >> Fight them with your heavy special time. You do
it, too. >> Hello. >> I'm that Supreme Court lady. And you did it. >> We did it. >> Great job, Morty. A feminist masterpiece. Hey, look. Guess who's got two penises and all the agency. >> Rick and Morty. >> Story lord. I should have known you were Behind this. And I did. >> Who is this guy? >> He's like a matrix space Frasier. Let's get this fight over with, nerd. I've got to do. >> You of all people know, Rick. There can be no destination without a journey. >> I don't know that at all. I
regularly teleport. >> Oh, of course. No rules for you. spiraling through the multiverse, burping semi-improvised dialogue about How nothing matters, so we may as well pull out our dicks and rub them on Fate's glaring teeth like we're brushing Fate's teeth, but we're using your gross dirty. Must be nice. >> Nobody's stopping you. >> True. Not anymore. >> God damn, >> we already did this. >> Oh, is this a double beat? Oh well, just how I adventure, dog. >> This is more impressive than the Tickets, please guy, though. You are like 90% gutter. >> It's called
discipline. Watch this. >> God damn. >> Jeez. Do we have to fight him? >> I don't want to. We surrender. We're not fighting. >> Kick your ass right now. >> Hey, get back in your egg. >> What's up? >> Don't worry, Morty. Nothing out there is canon. >> Paul, STAY WITH ME. PRIVATE SMITH, LISTEN TO ME. YOU ARE EXPOSED to a chemical THAT IS ALTERING YOUR MIND. TO BEAT IT, YOU HAVE TO HOLD ON. >> WE'RE LOSING HIM. ALIENS STARCH. >> MORTY, never forget the highest truth of all. You're getting your ass kicked on a
train. >> Professor Sanchez, did it work? >> I wouldn't say that, Marcus. I'd say it worked. 100% time dilation and total immersion. >> Define total. >> Marcus, I've been back in reality for 3 hours and I still have memories of a It was fun, Rick. Real fun. You know, I I definitely swed those oats, but I think you invented a little lesson for me along the way. Okay, living without consequences is great. But then I started wondering, what am I living for? What am I building if I'm always looking back? I'm never looking ahead. And
then it hit me. We are who we are because of Consequences. You can't live without consequences. You know, you feel me? >> Wow, that's a beautiful thought, Morty. But uh, no, there were definitely consequences. >> What are you talking about? >> I mean, you did everything you did. It all happened. >> No, but the respawn button, the doover. It's not a do over. You just did it over and over. >> What are you saying? What did you do? >> I think it's more appropriate to ask, what did you do? You see, Morty, you weren't saving
your place and going back. I don't respect time travel. If Ant-Man and the Wasp can do it, I'm not interested. It wasn't so much a doover as it was isolating a moment in time, splitting your probable selves, and shunting you into a near duplicate, equally probable reality, transporting you into it at the moment of parallel determination. Pretty nifty. Time Crystals are a [ __ ] and a half. But the only real hitch is that there was already a U in each probable dimension. So we had to solve for that. >> That's right, you little [
__ ] It's the prestige. You prestiged yourself. >> How many did I kill? >> Tell me, Morty. Every time you reset to smell Jessica's hair, every time you relived a satisfying fart, that's how many Morties you've incinerated. You greedy little junkie. >> Oh god. Even those times when I >> Especially those times. It's over, Morty. Feel this. Take this in. This is God. >> Why? Why would you do this? >> My hands are clean, Morty. I gave you a choice. You could listen to me explain in great scientific detail how it all works. Or you
could have fun. Did you have fun, Morty? >> Is this because of the vet? >> No. >> I'm sorry. I'm >> afraid it's too late for that, Morty. What's done is done. But it can end. The original split is still timestamped. I can make it so those Morties never existed at all. Make them purely theoretical. >> Oh god. What do I do? >> I think it's clear you've done enough. Tell me how, Rick. Tell me how I saved those Morties. >> You live with the consequences. Those Things happen somewhere. But you can merge the probable
realities so that only one Morty did them. >> Just do it. >> All right, let me just sync these up and get you back to your dimension. >> WAIT, SO SO YOU'RE NOT EVEN MY RICK? Then then why do you KNOW ABOUT THE VET? >> EVERY RICK HAS A VAT. WELL, MORTY, I'd say we've invented a little honesty today. How about you? >> I don't deserve this. I was just having Fun. >> So is Jeffrey Dmer. Speaking of, time to pay the piper. >> Morty Smith, come out with your hands up. Where are we? What
is this? >> That's it. Get out. >> You can make a perfectly realized toilet-filled simulation of heaven, but you can't share a toilet. >> Don't insult my craft. The chemical is globin. It connects the whatever you Want section of your brain to the whatever you have section. If your heaven is toilets, that's on you. >> All of these people >> are living their wildest, meaningless dreams and leaving me out of them. People you refused to kill and refuse to let into your life. >> An offer you rejected. So here's your last chance. Goodbye forever. If
you touch my toilet again, you die. >> You need a friend. >> I have a million cooler friends than you. >> I'll be seeing you. >> You'll be dying. >> We're going to be friends. >> We're going to be dead. >> Okay. So, we fight our way to the gas line. We cut [music] it. And then we set a fire. >> Okay. All right. >> Morty. Adventures of Jerry and Morty. Huh? Put her there. >> Dad, look. You know, we don't need a high five. It's It's kind of your fault that we're in this situation
at all. >> I know, but you know, come on. Adventures of Jerry and Morty. >> OKAY. [bell] >> JEFF, I can explain everything. >> You don't have to. Can you just MARRY US INSTEAD? JEFF, DON'T DO IT. >> RICHARD. >> MAGGIE. >> Running bird. >> Let's get out of here. >> Prince Witherspoon. >> Josiah, >> let's get the [ __ ] out of here. >> Summer Smith. Let's get the hell out of here. You had me at my own name. Oh, yeah. No. Why would I? >> Summer. A [ __ ] thing. Come on. I
CAN'T STEER THIS. WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? >> PARENTING. >> That's not how I did it. >> Yeah. Where's your daughter? >> You're right. She joined Isis. It's Gluty. And he's had a change of heart, and he's going to set us free. >> Actually, he's been blamed for bringing you aboard and assigned to execute you. >> Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay. What would your girlfriend think of you murdering? >> I happen to be between relationships right now. >> Really? I thought your species had Perfected relationships here. >> We're not allowed to use those apps.
>> I wonder why. That's what I thought, Gluty. Looks like you and I are all we got. >> I'm not helping you any more than that. >> Attention Zeta 992. >> We know you have a stolen ship. Stand down. >> Oh, am I not a non threat now? Hey, you are not cleared to land. We Will open fire. Hold >> your ground, men. You'll be heroes. >> Summer, try unlocking that door by scanning your high school friend's dead face. >> Uh, I have I have to pee. >> Pee on the floor. It's a death star.
>> Okay, but there's rebellion. And then there's >> here, Dad. >> Perfect. >> What am I doing wrong? >> Her eyes are closed. Morty, open the left one. I've got the right. She died the way she lived. Over serialized. I'm going to rescue your mom and her clone without revealing which is which. You two find the NX5 and shut it down. I mean, don't die trying. There's Infinite Earth. If you can save this one, it's gravy. Dream Team rides again. >> Oh, yeah. We're like Luke and Leia. Uh, except no kissing part. What's another famous
brother sister team? >> The Hansel and Gretle. >> Yeah, right. Those two were Dad. We need the belt. >> I can't go with you guys watching. >> You're invisible. >> What if the P isn't? >> You know what? We don't need invisibility. Working together is our belt. >> That's our ark. Let's do it. >> I'm going to go ahead and whistle. That's how good I feel. Oh god, I knew it. This floor isn't level. Are they going to torture us? Unless you plan on telling them what I know. Last chance to guess who was the
clone. You're his daughter. Something about the eyes. the shameless abandonment of your family. However, can I live with myself? One theory, I was designed by your father to live with myself, which would mean you made a conscious choice to swallow your dreams with cheap wine and Dinosaur pasta. You know that's the kind Jerry likes. Same way I know the only goddamn dream you'll ever follow is your shitty father's approval. You fetch your shitty father's lemonade. You cosplay as your shitty father in his 30s. >> Red alert. Red alert. Rick Sanchez. >> More like dead alert.
What else? What else? I wrote some stuff down in my notes app. Let me just find it. Screw it, Beth. If if one of you is still alive, you're my real daughter. If You're both alive, don't hurt the other one. She's just a clone. She's not worth it. I'm coming, baby. >> That piece of piece of >> I came back to kill him. You know, I'd like to help. Kick me between my eyes from here. >> Oh, you dropped yoga so you could buy Jerry more Flintstones by >> Oh, I do not like the looks
of this giant fight chamber. bird person. >> It is now Phoenix person. >> You're working for them. Speech. Speech. Speech. [laughter] experiment. Machine [snorts] setting on the sorry huh% Whatever [snorts] man. Take [snorts] A chance. Mhm. >> [snorts] >> the guy [snorts] phone Come on. 30. Yes. [sighs] >> [sighs] [snorts] >> So guys, very [snorts] channel Like, subscribe or shareell Button. brand. Nomi Nomi Nomi or Mama Mama or Mama >> [snorts] [snorts] [snorts] [cough] [snorts] >> sound. >> [snorts] >> Both Guys. >> [snorts] >> But some demon I >> [snorts] >> Now >> [snorts] >>
All right, guys. video. Like, subscribe, share. She show a special VIP Protocol. mobile. Like, subscribe, share. >> [snorts] >> Turn income sports verification everything is not much is dubbing. It's not not responding of the moment. form. >> [snorts] >> Guys, [sighs] Bye. Mr. >> [sighs] >> Camera bathroom. [snorts] >> [snorts] [snorts] [snorts] >> Charger. MacBook. MacBook. >> [snorts] >> food. And the car What is [snorts] Amen. [sighs] [snorts] [panting and sighs] Guys, [snorts] [snorts] match channel Or brand and meu Welcome back to another vlog. >> [snorts] >> Now hello [snorts] car. >> [clears throat] [clears
throat] >> Guys, investigation Witness I I'm going to kiss [snorts] >> [clears throat] >> Hello. [snorts] I just want to know. [laughter] cigarette. >> [clears throat] [laughter] [laughter] >> Okay. Cigarette. Yeah. What the hell? [laughter] >> [clears throat] >> Am I [clears throat] [snorts] [snorts] >> [snorts and clears throat] >> John [clears throat] [laughter] start [clears throat] [clears throat] guys Hai [clears throat] cheese ponds face wash pawns. Pawns face wash. This one or uh this one. This is the cream. Pawns Natural beauty cream or pH or [clears throat] one into good. >> [clears throat] >>
washroom. Washroom. [clears throat] >> [clears throat] >> Kitchen. What is this? foreign speech. IC Yo, don't need [clears throat] >> [clears throat] >> Guys, Johanna >> [clears throat] >> Light off. I'm doing More >> [snorts] [singing] >> Twinkle masala national masala national masala taste. >> [clears throat] >> Nice. Very nice. There are motion motion. Foreign. [laughter] Okay. Alpadak. [clears throat] Oh yeah. Okay. [snorts] Create profile. [snorts] No Gore. [laughter] Experiment. Oh. Aacha aacha. Oh. Okay. [snorts] GG. >> [snorts] >> Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. What the [laughter] [ __ ] >> [laughter] >> You >>
[laughter] >> Okay. You know FBI, open up. [laughter] [snorts] motorcycle. foreign [snorts] superchar. Do >> it. Okay. Okay. Okay. Like, comment, share. [snorts] Okay. color. Good. Oh yeah. Hello guys. >> [laughter] >> So like and subscribe.
