you've said that when you're in work work you worry a lot about how you come across in social situations yeah it's really makes me feel really anxious like what I look like and what people are thinking yeah you said that you worry that you um visibly Shake yeah um are there any other things that you worry that people will notice I think obviously the shaking I think like my hands and legs shaking and kind of going really red and sweating and just looking really weird so it sounds like you have quite a strong mental image
of how you see yourself when you're in these social situations yeah definitely you so you go red you shake is there anything else that you think that you do I mean describe yourself how do you think you look when you're in these situations just like I think I just look really obviously weird and out of place and like really red and just visibly shaking and sweating and kind of not being able to communicate properly with people people um is there anything that you do to try and kind of defend against these things to manage um
these problems um I guess like when I'm holding the camera I just grip onto it really really tight um or I kind of clench all my muscles and just find something that I can focus on and to kind of try and make myself Shake less and not go as red and stuff mhm so you you focus on something you grip onto the camera do you make eye contact with people no I just tend to just look down okay so you also avoid eye contact is there anything else that you do to manage the sweating for
example I just as I like kind of looking down and like wearing all black so it's less obvious um or kind of wearing yeah just more layers and all black so you just can't tell mhm okay what do you think would happen if you stopped doing these things if you stopped gripping on the camera or uh you know started making eye contact and not looking down um what do you think would happen I think it would be so much worse um yeah I think I just would just shake even more and be more anxious and
look more obviously kind of weird and out of place MH um what I'm thinking now is how do you feel about if we did an experiment to to test out your thoughts on what would happen uh if you stopped doing these things if we did a bit of a a role play where we pretended to enact a situation at work okay um and if we did this maybe twice and the first time you do all the things that you normally do okay and you grip onto something look down um is there anything else that you
do when you're in these situations these work conversations to try and cope um I just kind of all just like fumble and like kind of just clench whatever whatever it is I'm holding just really tight and just make sure I don't make any eye contact mhm and I all just kind of get through it okay so in the first time I want you to do those things as much as you normally would in fact maybe even slightly more than you normally would okay and then the second time I want you to drop doing those things
all together okay how does that sound okay I'll try my best um and do you how would you feel about if we filmed this so you could actually see what you looked like okay okay do you have a camera with you that we could video on yeah um my is my phone okay yeah yeah we'll use that in just a sec okay okay before we do this then we're just going to fill out this form it's uh because what we're doing now is an experiment we call it a behavioral experiment to see what happens when
you change the way that you're behaving right okay okay so the First Column says I need to fill out an experiment to test this thought that you have so that our experiment is going to be that we do a conversation at work um who should I play if you're playing yourself in this role play who should I be um maybe like a client at work I always have to sit down with clients before we do the shoot and kind of get to know a little bit more about what they want okay so um would it
work if I was maybe having a wedding and I was hiring you to be a wedding photographer yeah okay what kind of problems do you see coming up in this conversation that we have like what will you see yourself doing on camera um shaking like being really obviously shaking and okay bright red and okay so visibly Shak Shing so how how much will you be shaking if 100 is like shaking uncontrollably and zero is not shaking at all how visibly shaking will you be like 90 okay um uh sorry what was the other thing that
you just said um like I go really red okay so you're going to go red yeah um how red will you go I mean if we look around this room um probably like the chairs okay so you're going to be as as kind of brightly Pink as these chairs are yeah okay uh so out of 100 then how how pink would you say these chairs are um 90 out of 100 okay um what else are you worried is going to happen when we have these conversations just worried I'll be say like say something stupid and
not be able to kind of get what I'm trying to say across properly okay and how how stupid out of 100 if 100 is ridiculously stupid probably like similar 90 okay I'd say um what else are you worried will happen when we have this conversation what else might you see on the camera I think you'll probably be able to see that I'm sweating and okay and how much will you be sweating um again 90 I think like really like visibly sweating down the face okay and what do you think will happen the second time when
you stop kind of doing the things you nor do to cope when you uh maybe start to make eye contact and you're not gripping onto something I think it'll be even worse I think it yeah how how much worse slightly worse like twice as bad twice as bad okay yeah okay right if you can you give me your phone and mo yeah okay okay should I just use this um yeah yeah it's probably best okay okay hi so um I was just wondering if I could talk to you about maybe um doing my wedding photography
yep um what kind of kind of what kind of thing do you see um how would you want it to be like uh I suppose I'd like lots of shots of um our family and our friends quite a lot of natural shots you know of people talking when they're having drinks um yeah um do you want to like do you kind of see it being outside is that something that you're interested in outside shots it's going to be a summer wedding so we quite like like a lot of Outdoors shots um if possible you know
if it's not raining that would be quite nice um yeah quite some Arty ones if that's possible yeah um yeah that would be I've done quite a few things like that before so have you got anything that you could show me about your past work uh yeah I recently did um some shoots outside kind of in like a wood environment so that I could show you that maybe it would kind of help with some ideas okay great right let's do the second one now okay okay you ready to put down the bottle and just to
make eye contact okay okay hi so I was just wondering if I could speak to you about doing my wedding photography yeah yeah and what kind of thing are you looking at how do you want it to be like um I'd like kind of lots of shots of family and friends um and quite a lot of natural shots you know okay um are you interested in having things outside maybe and you said it was was you wanted it to be natural yeah cuz it's going to be a summer wedding and you know weather dependent of
course it would be really great if we could kind of get lots of shots you know Outdoors um okay of yeah people chatting and and maybe some quite Arty ones as well yeah have you got anything that you could show me about your past work yeah actually it's kind of a lot of the things I do are outside and I'm really interested in getting natural shots so um I could chose some of my work and we could kind of see if we could kind of develop something from that could be quite good okay let's pause
it there okay right I'm just going to give you this back now to look at okay and uh I just want you to to watch that okay and then we'll chat about it in a moment okay it's weird thing so if we just go back to the things that you predicted then you you said that you thought you were going to shake visibly Shake could you see yourself shaking on the video um definitely not as much as I thought I think it's obvious that I'm obviously quite anxious but I don't think you can tell I'm
shaking that much mhm so you said that you were going to shake 90 out of 100 how much shaking would you say that you saw there the end maybe like less than 30 okay um you said that you were going to go red or pink as Pink as these chairs 90 out of 100 did you notice yourself going pink um not really actually definitely less than I thought um yeah not as much okay you said that you were worried that you were going to say something stupid 90 out of 100 did you know yourself say
anything stupid not really yeah I thought it was going to be a lot worse than actually was so you thought you were going to be like 90 say something that was 90% stupid that's really quite strong I mean in the did you pick up anything that so could we maybe put that as a zero maybe like less than 10 maybe um you said that you thought you were going to be sweating yeah and that you were going to be visibly sweating did you did you notice yourself sweating in the end not really definitely not as
bad as I thought again you thought you were going to be like 9200 like seriously visibly sweating so what what score would you actually give it in the end Maybe again less than 10 I don't think you could tell at all mhm you also said that you thought it was going to be twice as bad when you stopped using your you know your normal strategies yeah what did you notice watching that video it was actually probably better when I wasn't doing any of those things I think I looked a lot more natural and I was
able to say what I was trying to say I think I just come across more personable when I'm not kind of looking down and stuff
