Women Over 30 Have Finally Realized They've Hit The Wall After They Did THIS

Men absolutely 100% do use their kids as pawns. Whether they're going to admit it or not, nobody's going to admit that [ __ ] Dating as a single mom is some weird assit. Dating in your 30s is so weird.

It's going match with the same man on Bumble today for the fourth time. As a single mom, our standards about triple prior to I already had high standards and then I now you bring my daughter into the thing and like no one's good enough, right? What's up everyone?

Today we're talking about something that's becoming impossible to ignore. Single mothers who are finally hitting the wall hard and realizing that the dating market has completely passed them by. We're seeing women in their 30s and 40s having complete meltdowns as reality sets in about their situation.

The denial is cracking, the desperation is showing, and the wakeup call is brutal. Let's dive into what's really happening when single moms finally face the truth about their dating prospects. In today's episode of Single Mom, let's talk about dating.

Dating as a single mom is some weird ass [ __ ] It's almost too much stress to even be worth it. You know what I mean? Because I don't know about everybody else, but I've been single now for over 5 years, and I just started dating about close to two years ago.

And I don't know, I just have all these boxes that have to be checked. And it doesn't seem like I can find anybody that checks all these boxes. And these aren't these aren't landish boxes.

They're pretty basic things. Dating in your 30s is so weird because it's always what do you do for fun? What do you I don't know.

I really don't. I work. I take care of my kids.

I go home. I don't know what is fun. Now, the problem with this is I only have certain days that I can see someone.

There might even be a week or two that goes by where I just cannot see you. And in the early stages of dating, that is very hard and detrimental to your dating life because that is very hard and detrimental to your dating life. Because if you can't keep a conversation going through text messages or phone calls, FaceTimes, whatever, I'm going to get bored.

As a single mom, our standards about [ __ ] triple prior to I already had high standards and then I now you bring my daughter into the thing and like no one's good enough, right? On top of standards time. As a single mom, we have little to no me time.

So if I'm going to invest the small amount of me time I have into someone else and you waste it, done. Hold up. This single mom just said her standards tripled after having a kid.

Ma'am, you've got this completely backwards. Your standards should have been high before you let some random dude get you pregnant and disappear. But now that you're a package deal with limited time and extra baggage, you think you deserve more than when you were childless.

The audacity is incredible. You're offering less than you ever have in your entire dating life. No time, no flexibility, built-in complications, another man's child.

But somehow you think men should be fighting harder to get with you. No one's good enough for what exactly? To help raise another man's child?

To get scheduled time slots between soccer practice and bedtime routines? To be your third priority after your kid and your own needs? What exactly are you bringing to the table that justifies these sky-high standards?

And then she has the nerve to complain about having little to no me time. Ma'am, that's what happens when you become a parent. You chose to have a child, which means your time isn't your own anymore.

But somehow it's everyone else's fault that dating is harder now. So, I want to talk about something that's been really, really annoying me lately. So, something that's been getting under my skin is men not understanding what it means to be a single mom.

So, as a single mom, a single working mom, I have my plate full to the maximum, right? I don't have free time. The time that I do have free, I just want to relax.

So, one, I get it. I'm single. Yes.

Do I want a date? Sure. If I meet the right person, right?

But if you invite me out for dinner or drinks, especially during the week night, come on. Have things to do. I'm sure you have things to do the next day.

I have a child to take care of. I can't just go out late at night just whenever, right? So, you have to take that into consideration.

So, if you're really going to invite me out, one, make it worth my time. And what do I mean by make it worth my time? Jo, just don't invite me out to dinner and drinks.

Get creative. Invite me out for an activity. Do something different.

Do do this. Something that's going to be worth my time and effort. I am taking time out of my evening to meet with you to go and enjoy your company.

See how things work, if we're compatible. I'm making an effort. So, I expect you to make an effort.

Don't just assume that I'm going to be able to drop off my child somewhere because most likely I'm not. So unless you're offering to pay for the babysitter, I'm not going on that date. This woman just listed more demands and requirements than a Fortune 500 job posting.

Ma'am, you're acting like men should be grateful for the opportunity to audition for your limited attention while jumping through hoops to accommodate your life choices. Make it worth my time. What time?

You just said you don't have any. You want men to get creative, plan elaborate activities, and basically put on a whole production just for the privilege of maybe getting a few hours with you between your kid's schedule and your exhaustion. And then you drop the ultimate entitlement bomb.

Unless you're offering to pay for the babysitter, I'm not going on that date. So, not only do men have to plan creative activities and work around your impossible schedule, they also need to fund your child care. Ma'am, that's not dating.

That's charity work. You're basically saying, "I chose to have a kid. I chose to be a single mom.

I have no time, no flexibility, and a bunch of restrictions. " But you need to make extra effort to deal with all my limitations while I bring the bare minimum to the table. The lack of self-awareness is staggering.

You're treating potential dates like they're applying to be your assistant manager while offering them absolutely nothing in return except the honor of your stressed out, timelmited presence. In today's episode of Single Mom, let's talk about dating. Dating as a single mom is some weird ass [ __ ] It's almost too much stress to even be worth it.

You know what I mean? Because I don't know about everybody else, but I've been single now for over 5 years. And I just started dating about close to two years ago.

Over five years. And I just started dating about close to two years ago. And I don't know, I just have all these boxes that have to be checked.

And it doesn't seem like I can find anybody that checks all these boxes. And these aren't these aren't landish boxes that checks all these boxes. And these aren't these aren't like landish boxes.

They're pretty basic things. And I just The first red flag first red flag. Literally, a mother freaker blinks wrong.

And I'm like, red flag, bye, I hate them. Literally, a mother freaker blinks wrong. And I'm like, red flag, bye.

I hate them. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Maybe that's why I'm still single and I need to lower my standards a little bit or something.

I don't know. But I just I refuse to bring anybody into our lives that could disrupt our peace because yes, it is chaos at my house. I have three kids and they fight constantly.

Always screaming, yelling, fighting. It's nonstop. And it's definitely not peaceful in my house, but it's our chaos.

And I don't know, I'm getting to the point to where I really do want to be in a relationship. And I do want that partner in life and that that person that can help me with things and take on things with me and it would sure help eventually financially. Want that partner in life and that that person that can help me with things and take on things with me and it would sure help eventually financially.

But I don't know. I don't you know, and then I'm so worried about bringing anybody around my kids cuz there's so many freaking weirdos in the world these days. I just don't ever know.

You really think you know somebody and you don't. All the stories that we hear these days is just a crazy world out there. And I don't know, just dating as a single mom is definitely definitely a challenge for sure.

And not on top or to top it off, like I said, all the chaos and drama and fighting and non-stop just war that goes on within my home with my kids. I don't know that I'm going to find anybody that wants to deal with this. My kids are they're pretty disrespectful.

And this woman just described her house as constant chaos with three disrespectful kids who fight non-stop. Admits she calls men red flags for blinking wrong and then wonders why she can't find anyone. Ma'am, you just answered your own question.

You're offering a man the privilege of entering a war zone with outofc control children, zero peace, and a mother who's looking for any excuse to kick him out. But somehow you think the problem is your standards. No quality man is going to sign up to be your financial rescue plan while dealing with your chaotic household and impossible expectations.

You want a partner, but you're advertising a nightmare. The self-awareness is non-existent. All right, I need somebody to like tell me if I'm wrong for this.

Stitch the video, comment, whatever. I'mma make it a long story short, bro. I'm not an [ __ ] for telling this girl that I don't give a if her and her kids are outside cold.

I live in Detroit, Michigan, you know what I mean? And it's in November, so it's it's fairly cold outside. Like, I chased this girl from when I was 14 up until I was about like 21.

She never like really gave me the time of day. She always thought I was a joke because of the type of dude that I am, you know? Like, I don't smoke, I don't drink, you know, I don't go all like that.

I go to work, I go home, I play video games, I like anime, that type of [ __ ] So, never really gave me a chance like that. But, she know I always have my own car and my own place and everything. I wake up at like 4 in the morning and she talking about some, "Hey, I know you don't I know you hate me, but like like me and my kids about to be out on the street, whatever, whatever.

Can I come over there until I find a shelter? " And I'm looking around like, "What did you ask me that? Hell no, you can't come over here.

" We had a whole argument and I just ended conversation like, "I don't give a about you or your kids. Those are not my kids and those are not my problems. get all my inbox with that [ __ ] Am I wrong with it?

Women absolutely 100% do use their kids as pawns. Whether they're going to admit it or not, nobody's going to admit that [ __ ] but they do. They do it.

You ignored all the red flags that this relationship ain't going to work. And you proceeded to have the baby. Your body, your choice.

You could do what you want. You chose to have the baby. He made it very clear he didn't want nothing to do with that.

Now maybe he steps up to the plate. The baby's here. Now I got to raise my kid.

It is what it is. You thinking he's going to provide you housing? That's not his job.

You think because you're his baby mom, he has to pay your rent. He doesn't. He has to make sure that kid is okay.

You still have to have a job. A kid to just live luxury while he pays for two houses. Y'all are not together.

That's not your man. If he does it, you should honor him. Pick me energy.

No, [ __ ] You'reing lazy. She's a pick me [ __ ] I don't got no kids. I don't let [ __ ] just come up with me.

No. And then when you realize it's not going how you want it to go, you rush to the courthouse and put him on child support cuz he you think he deserve a whole lot of racks. But meanwhile, he's still taking care of the kid.

He's doing everything to support the child, but you still want to put him on child support to be bitter. It really happens. Oh yes, it really happens.

I should start saving every message I get on this subject cuz I would have hundreds by now or even more. Your body, your choice. But what about the man's choice?

We have no choice. It should be our money, our choice. Going.

I match with the same man on Bumble today for the fourth time. I don't know how we keep becoming unmatched. Either he's unmatching me or he's just creating a new profile because I've never unmatched him.

So, this is the fourth time in a row. We are already friends on Snapchat. We've been friends on Snapchat for six months.

He has my phone number because he asked for it and saved it in the chat and never text me. We used to follow each other on Instagram and then he unfollowed me. So I unfollowed him.

And every time it happens, I message him and I'm like, "Ha, third time's a charm. First time's a charm. " And he's like, "Oh, where are we going to meet?

" And I'm like, "What are you talking about? " So this weekend I'm actually going to be in his city. We live an hour away from each other.

I already made plans with my friends to go there. So I'm going to snap him and be like, "Guess where I am? I'm here.

You can either meet me or I'm blocking you on everything. So you all stay tuned. We're either going to be in love or Well, do any of you guys want to bet what happened?

Yep, you guessed it. She's still single with two kids. Fourth time matching the same guy on Bumble.

Sis, that's not fake. That's recycling. He's got your snap, your number, your Insta, and still never hit you up.

That's not a crush. That's a ghost with Wi-Fi. And now you're talking about pulling up to his city like it's a romcom finale.

No, ma'am. That's not love. That's a side quest.

Oops. Got my baby daddy for the holidays and worried that I want him back. Don't.

For the small fee of my mental health and my appetite, you can keep him for literally forever because I never want him back. P. S.

Our kid doesn't like fruit snacks. Raised by a narcissist. And so, it's one of those things like if you know, you know, and if you don't know, I'm so thankful for that.

Narcissists have a way of doing the bare minimum and making you feel like you owe them the world. They also make you feel like you're a burden for having any needs or really just being alive. Like you're just you're just a burden to a narcissist.

That's how they make you feel anyway. So when I think about dating as a single mom, what really stops there are two main things. I have to protect myself and my daughter.

So I have two hearts to protect instead of just one. And I want to be very intentional about who I have my daughter around. And then the second thing is I don't want to be made to feel like a burden or my daughter to feel like a burden or for me to feel like a burden because I have a daughter.

Which let me just say, let me just acknowledge that is some healing I have to do within myself. But that alone uh just lets me know that I'm not ready. And so thank you for sharing some hope with me because dating as a single parent is just something different.

Raised by a narcissist. Huh? Yeah.

If you know, you know. And if you don't know, count your blessings. Narcissists do just enough to survive, but act like they deserve a standing ovation.

Then they turn around and make you feel like existing is somehow an inconvenience. Now, fast forward to dating as a single mom. She's like, "I got two hearts to protect.

" Respect. That's true. But let's keep it real.

Dating as a single parent isn't just about protecting your kid. It's also about protecting your peace. And she's right.

Bringing someone around your child is serious. But then she says, "I don't want to feel like a burden because I have a daughter. " Here's the thing.

If a man makes you feel like a burden for being a mom, that's not your healing problem. That's him exposing his immaturity. Period.

Sis, you don't owe anyone an apology for being a parent. A man either steps up and respects that role or he can step out. Simple.

And honestly, I love the self-awareness. admitting she's not ready because most people rush into dating when they shouldn't. Knowing you need healing first.

That's actually the strongest move you can make. So yeah, dating as a single parent is different but not impossible. The real key is this.

Don't lower your standards just because society tries to tell you you're a burden. You're not. You're a package deal.

And the right person will see that as a blessing, not baggage. Please not. [Music] Here's the reality.

Check. nobody wants to hear. Single mothers have finally hit the wall.

And no, I'm not just talking about age. I'm talking about the weight of choices stacking up until there's nowhere left to run. When you're young, free, and childless, options are wide open.

Men chase you. Opportunities feel endless and the wall looks a million miles away. But once you step into motherhood, especially single motherhood, that wall speeds up.

Now you're not just dating as you. You're dating as a package deal. And let's be honest, not every man is signing up for instant responsibility.

The problem is too many single moms think they can still play the same dating game they did before kids. But the market doesn't work like that. Men don't line up for baggage.

They line up for opportunity. And while you might see your child as a blessing, and they absolutely are, the cold truth is that most men out there see them as added responsibility they never asked for. So, the wall hits harder.

Options dry up quicker. That dream guy you think is waiting out there, he's usually chasing women without attachments. And the ones who do show interest, they're often not looking to build a family.

They're looking for fun without commitment. And here's the kicker. Society won't tell you this.

Society says, "Don't worry, queen. Your soulmate is out there. He'll love you and your kids.

" Maybe, but that's not the rule. That's the exception. and betting your future on exceptions.