Slow English Podcast >> from Speak English with class. >> Hey lovely listeners. Welcome to the Slow English Podcast.
Your calm space to practice real English slowly, clearly, and confidently. My name is Crystal and I'm so glad you're here. Today, we're not just practicing English.
We're going somewhere deeper. somewhere a little quiet, a little emotional, and maybe a little uncomfortable. Today's episode is about self-love, but not the shiny Instagram version.
This is the kind of self-love that begins with silence and with noticing the way you speak to yourself when no one else is listening. Let me guess something about you and be honest. Even if it's just in your own head, you've already been a little mean to yourself today, haven't you?
Maybe you called yourself lazy or said, "What's wrong with me? " Or maybe you sighed when you saw your face in the mirror and thought, "Gh, not again. " That quiet voice, that automatic voice.
We hear it more than anyone else does, but we almost never question it. So, let me ask you something else. When no one's watching, what kind of voice do you use with yourself?
When you make a mistake, when you're alone, when you're tired, what do you say to you? I remember a morning not so long ago. I looked in the mirror, hair messy, eyes heavy.
And the first thought in my mind was, "You look awful. " Not out loud, just silently, automatically. And the worst part, it didn't even surprise me.
Because that voice was always there. Then came the question that changed everything for me. If your best friend talked to you the way you talked to yourself, would you still be friends?
Because I thought about it and my answer was clear. No, I wouldn't let anyone speak to me like that. So why was I doing it to myself?
So my dear listener, today I want to share a story. Not a perfect story, not a how to fix your life story, just a real one about how I slowly started changing the voice in my head. The cruel one, the tired one, the one that forgot I was human.
And maybe this story will help you notice your own voice, too. Everything in this episode is told in slow, clear English. You'll hear real life expressions.
You'll learn emotional vocabulary. And you'll follow a gentle rhythm so your heart and your English can grow together. And if you'd like to go deeper, you can download the free PDF guide for this episode.
It includes comprehension questions, vocabulary, and grammar practice, and reflection prompts just for you. The link is in the description. It's free.
And it's made with love. Now, take a deep breath. You're here.
You showed up. That's already something to be proud of. Let's begin.
Now, let me take you back to where it all began. Not to a big moment, not a tragedy, just a small memory, a simple afternoon, a piece of paper, and three quiet words that stayed with me for years. I was maybe 10 years old.
It was a school day. I had a math test. I remember holding the paper in my hands and feeling proud.
I had scored eight out of 10. Not perfect, but good. Good enough to make me smile.
I walked home with a little excitement in my step. I thought I had done well. When I got home, I showed the paper to someone I loved, someone I wanted to make proud.
They looked at it for 2 seconds and said, "Why not 10? " That was it. Just three words.
No anger, no shouting, just disappointment. And in that moment, something inside me changed. That one sentence, why not 10, felt louder than anything else I'd heard that day.
It made me feel like eight was not enough. That good only counted if it was perfect. And slowly, I started to believe it.
After that day, I didn't celebrate eights anymore or nines or anything less than 100%. Even if others were proud, my own voice said, "Not enough. You can do better.
" "Why didn't you try harder? " And year after year, that voice grew louder. It followed me into high school, then into college, then into my work.
It was never cruel, but it was never kind. I thought this was normal. I thought it meant I had standards, that I was just trying to push myself.
But now I look back and I know what it really was. It was the beginning of my inner bully. A voice I didn't choose, but one I listened to for far too long.
And for years, I didn't question it. I believed I had to be strong all the time. I believed that rest was lazy.
That mistakes meant I wasn't trying hard enough. that unless I was perfect, I wasn't worthy. And for a while, I could keep up.
I could meet the deadlines. Smile through the stress. Pretend everything was fine.
Until one day, I couldn't. Let me tell you about a day I'll never forget. It didn't look special.
No big drama, just a normal Tuesday. But it was the day my inner voice pushed me too far and everything broke. It was a work day.
My calendar was full. Emails were waiting. People needed things.
And I told myself like always, "You can handle this. Keep going. " No lunch, no break, no breath.
Just push, smile, deliver. By 300 p. m.
, I couldn't feel my shoulders. My head was spinning. I walked into the nearest bathroom and locked the door.
And then I cried, not loudly, just quietly. The kind of crying where you're too tired to fight anymore. And while I sat there, eyes red, body shaking, that voice came back again.
You're weak. Everyone else can handle this. Why can't you?
You should be stronger than this. That voice, my own voice, was kicking me while I was already on the floor. And that was the moment I realized this isn't strength.
This is survival without care. I sat there for a while. No one knocked.
No one knew. Just me and my tired heart. And then slowly I stood up.
I washed my face and I looked in the mirror. My eyes were red. My shoulders were low.
I didn't look strong. I didn't look confident. I didn't look like the person I was pretending to be.
And for a moment, I almost said it again. You look awful. But this time, something stopped me.
A softer voice inside me whispered something else. It said, "You're not weak. You're tired.
You've been holding too much for too long. " And I just stood there. Because I had never said anything like that to myself before.
It wasn't dramatic. It didn't fix everything. But in that one small moment, I felt something shift.
Like I had opened a little window, just enough for some light and some kindness to come in. I didn't say anything out loud, but inside I whispered something new. You're not broken.
You're just human. And it's okay to feel like this. That was the first kind sentence I had ever said to myself in years.
And that, my friend, was where it all began. Not with a journal, not with affirmations, not with a book. It began in a bathroom, in a moment of quiet, with one sentence that didn't hurt.
And after that, I knew I had to find more sentences like that. After that day, something inside me stayed open. Not wide open, just a little crack.
But even a little crack is enough for light to come in. I didn't become a new person overnight. I didn't suddenly wake up full of confidence.
I still felt tired, still made mistakes, still heard the old voice from time to time. But now I had another voice too, a softer one, a quieter one, a kinder one. And that voice began to grow through small everyday habits.
I want to share a few of them with you now. They're simple, but they helped me change the way I saw myself slowly, gently, and honestly. Every morning before I checked my phone, before I scrolled or worked or rushed, I looked at myself in the mirror, not to judge, not to fix, just to see.
And I started saying one kind sentence. just one like you look tired today and that's okay. I'm proud of you for getting out of bed.
You're enough even if today is quiet. It felt silly at first, but I kept doing it because slowly I started to believe myself. I bought a tiny notebook.
Nothing fancy, just enough space for one line. Every night before sleep, I wrote one thing I was proud of. Sometimes big, I helped someone today.
Sometimes small, I answered a message I was afraid of. Sometimes very small, I rested and I didn't feel guilty. Writing it made it real.
And reading it the next day reminded me that I'm still growing. Not perfectly, not loudly, but gently and honestly. As I kept writing those small winds, I also started noticing something else.
So many of the things I said yes to didn't feel good anymore. They felt heavy. They came from fear, not love.
For years, I said yes to everything. Because I thought if I say no, people won't like me. They'll think I'm selfish or lazy or weak.
But one day I realized something. Saying yes to everything was saying no to myself. So I started small.
One no at a time. No to things that drained me. No to things I did only out of guilt.
No to people who only called when they needed something. It wasn't easy. But every no was a quiet yes to myself.
And finally, I started talking back. The old voice still came sometimes. You didn't do enough.
That wasn't perfect. Look at you falling behind again. But now I didn't just listen.
I replied, "Maybe, but I did my best today. It doesn't have to be perfect to be valuable. Falling behind is part of being human.
" And slowly, the voice inside me began to change. It didn't disappear, but it got softer, kinder, more honest. So now, my friend, I want to talk directly to you.
Yes, you. The one who's always trying. The one who helps everyone else.
The one who keeps pushing through even when your heart feels heavy. Maybe you've never heard this before. Maybe no one's ever said it gently.
But I will. You are not broken. You are not behind.
You don't have to be perfect to be loved. You're allowed to rest. You're allowed to take your time.
You're allowed to feel proud of small things like showing up today. And no, selflove is not selfish. It's not arrogance.
It's not pretending to be strong all the time. Self-love is simply this. Speaking to yourself with the same care you give to others.
So, let me ask you now, just like I asked myself not so long ago, what's one kind thing you can say to yourself today? You don't have to say it out loud. You don't even have to believe it fully.
Just try. Say it gently. Whisper it in your heart.
Maybe something like, "I'm doing my best. " I am enough even when I feel unsure. It's okay to be where I am.
That one sentence might be the start of something new. And if you would like to go deeper, don't forget you can download the free PDF guide for this episode. The link is in the description below.
It's free and it's made just for you. Thank you for spending this time with me. For listening, for feeling, and for trying.
You are already more than enough. Take care of your heart. Take care of your voice and take care of yourself gently.
I'll see you in the next episode. Bye for now. Your progress doesn't end here.
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