all right guys on a college campus and I decided to do this video when it's very cold very very cold but we here no excuses and uh kind of in my head right now and you know what this is a good segue to the first point of the video here here's the first thing I learned this is right off the top of the head you're not always going to be in a social mood and that's something that you have to work up to you have to rip the Band-Aid off and honestly this is probably number
one and a lot lot of people don't know this but the number one thing that I've learned approaching a thousand women in a thousand days or just honestly just approaching strangers consistently is social skills and approaching is a skill literally you build momentum as you do it so right now you know I just got out of bed I haven't talked to any strangers today I haven't I actually haven't talked to anybody today so I'm not going to be as social as after I talk to 10 strangers which I will do in this video so I'm
going to drink this Celsius it's not a sponsored video but it would be great if they could you know just pay me you know it is what it is I'm I'm creating a video of the first person I'm talking to today so I'm like trying to get in the groove of everything can I ask you a simple question for my YouTube video yeah sure cool awesome all right so the topic about approaching strangers talking to strangers social skills how many people do you talk to a day strangers strangers it depends on my mood like if
I'm maybe in like an elevator or at the gym and I'm just like pumped up ready to go then like I'll talk to them you seem like a social person really yeah you seem like you're extroverted soci person you're not afraid of social interaction like you're not afraid to walk up to a stranger and say hi well neither do you for real what you want to do this video so um I have a YouTube channel it's all about well it's it's been a Travel Channel for a long time but uh I'm trying to shift it
to self-improvement and a big big part of my journey has been learning how to talk to strangers like getting out of the introvert head space and trying to become an extrovert so yeah that's awesome yeah and I do coaching and I create courses on like on social skills so yeah cool awesome what was your name Nico n Kiren Kirsten awesome nice to meet you nice to meet what's your YouTube called I want to look it up Niti nicoletti how do you spell it n i c o l e t TI are you Latino by the
way Filipino Filipino okay cool I would have my second guess was going to be like half asian yeah I always get like Hawaiian or that's cool yeah Mex school have you been to Hawaii I have actually junior year was awesome and you fit right in people are like well I mean people there's a lot of I get dark too do you like right now I'm like pale yeah do you know do you do you know what my ethnic background is or can tell I'm guessing like Mex I don't know I can't a lot most people
guess Mexican when I'm here in in Arkansas but like if I'm in somewhere else no no I'm I'm actually Brazilian no I wish I wish I was Brazilian I'm actually half Taiwanese so and then half Italian wait no way yeah yeah okay well uh do you have a Instagram love do have a boyfriend but you do okay fair enough fair enough no you're good you're good I'll see you around I'm going to be here a lot nicketti n yeah all right kirst thanks for stopping all right guys so don't take rejections personally that's actually what
I have written down for number one now I asked for our Instagram a second ago you know it was sort of a flirty Vibe and she literally stopped and talked to me for like 5 10 almost 15 minutes I'm not going to take it personally notice how at the end after she said no after she was like oh no sorry I have a boyfriend I don't let it drop my mood I'm not like butt hurt about it I'm not sad I'm not gonna be feeling any type of way okay well uh do you have a
Instagram love I do have a boyfriend but you do okay fair enough fair enough no you're good you're good so one thing I've learned is there's no such thing as a rejection it's all about logistics where the person's at maybe they're just having a bad day maybe they literally have a boyfriend like maybe they just don't want to give their Instagram out I frame what you do is in any approach you frame it as okay for example she said oh I'm sorry I have a boyfriend in the past what I would have done I would
have been like oh what's up man you seem cool can I ask you a question sure dude how do you take rejection if you walk up to a girl and you say hi what and you get rejected how do you react how do you react to a rejection like a oh sorry I have a boyfriend kind of thing uh if it's just a public one and I'm just in public like a just shooting my shot then I won't take it too bad yeah but if it's like a girl that I've been you know going out
on dates with and stuff like that and we develop something I've like kind of set it up in my mind like you know what I mean then I'll take it more seriously that's a that's an authentic answer I like that yeah are you a YouTuber or something I'm a YouTuber and uh I create I do coaching and I I'm creating a course right now well this is just a video and I'm shooting a video all about how to approach strangers how to overcome rejection things like that but I wanted to do it here so I
could like ask people questions spice it up a little that that was a good answer though thank you appreciate it man thank you I'm kind of ADHD I'm seeing people I want to interview them but notice how at the end when she didn't give me her Instagram I didn't say ah I didn't make it a big deal I don't want it to ruin my mood I really don't care and this actually leads to number two outcome dependence anytime you're talking to any stranger any anywhere it's kind of a paradox because on one hand yes you
want maybe an outcome you might want a date you might want to get a number you might want to make a friend you might have an outcome but while you're talking to a stranger you have to put that in the back of your head you can't think in your head while approaching a stranger talking to somebody of the outcome because people are going to feel it like oh this person has an agenda when you talk to somebody it should be strictly about the vibe like hey I'm just trying to Vibe I'm just trying to I'm
just trying to make friends um and that is the key so all right guys number two never judge a book by its cover this is actually a big one for me um I remember this was like the first thing I learned back like five six years ago I started to do I made it a challenge I want I approached five strangers a day and this is like me breaking out of my introvert space and becoming an extrovert so what I did was I approached five strangers a day and this is the number one thing I
learned from doing that never judge a book by its cover I would walk up to to girls you know someone I found attractive and they would literally have the meanest face you could imagine like like look literally like this and I was just like I [ __ ] I just got to I would just be so scared nervous I would walk up anyways say what's up this is a good example right here oh excuse me I just wanted to say abely and I'm okay um hey sorry this is kind of awkward I I can't I
can't hear you oh come come through come through oh dude please I would love it so dude I'm making a video I'm a YouTuber and it's all about social dynamics and I was trying to make a point there to show that not everybody is going to be receptive some people are going to reject you no I've been you don't take it personally so I making a video I have all the list of things I'm talking about I'm on like Point number two which is never judge a book by its cover some people are going to
have a mean face some people like they're they look like they're in a bad mood when you say hi their face lights up you can't judge a book by its cover absolutely some people they just you can tell they're they're freaking happy they're a good person and that's a like you what's your name man Ashton Ashton what's your name Nico man nice to meet you have you always been a social extrovert cuz not everybody literally like is like yo can I be in your interview can I be on camera can I say what's up like
dude that's so cool man so um actually no when I was little I was super introverted um I would never talk to anybody um and really so like video and stuff is really what got me out of my shell all throughout High School I did broadcast journalism and so I would go around interviewing people and I I like it took it took a while but I took a step back and realized we're all just people you know and some people have an RBF and are are walking around like resting [ __ ] face yeah just
you know just like how you're walking around and so I I realized you know maybe you know if you just talk somebody they'll answer and I've noticed in all my classes you know you make a little like a joke to the person next to you they'll laugh and they'll open up to you start talking like I'm in there studying with my study partner met her in my astronomy class had no idea who she was and then now it's you know got to she does help helps me with my homework so it works out pretty well
um but no I haven't always been social but no it's really video is something that brought you out of your show Absolutely me and my best friend YouTube videos when we were little um got up to 300 subscribers at one point it was a blast man dude that's awesome yeah so awesome you're out here making a YouTube that is so awesome man I I was so my idea was like I could shoot this video at home look at look at What's happen inter interacting with people it's been mostly positive she was kind of like what
do you want you know the camera throws people off and I'm like okay for sure most people they're uncomfortable in front of a camera but like act like it's not there you have great interactions I saw the dude with long hair he looked awesome wait did I approach him yeah yeah yeah rainbow shirt on yes yes he was cool he had a really good answer good we were watching like oh [ __ ] I want to get in that like cool man yeah sorry for interrupting no thank you for interrupting that was good man you
you added value to the video thank you it was nice meeting you man nice to meet you as well all right guys we're on a roll here so number two don't judge a book by its cover this was actually a good example because okay I literally just got rejected or rejected she was a bit uncomfortable on the camera as I'm walking back to the camera I see someone in the building like waving and my first instinct was oh they they probably want me to stop recording I first had a negative reaction I was like oh
I'm I'm scared what's going to happen I I can't I can't hear you oh come come through come through but in reality they wanted to be on camera so you never know you literally never know I've had so many experiences where people have like you said resting [ __ ] face and you walk up to them and they end up being the coolest person in the world and then you end up making a friend now in general to play Devil's Advocate to this I try to approach people who look approachable like that guy who are
smiling happy to be on camera and you can kind of just tell that they're in a good mood you know sometimes you can tell when someone's in a bad mood but I try not to judge the number one thing I've learned from approaching a lot of strangers in the last five or six years is you just don't know people until you say what's up to them you don't know what they're going through and then what he said was really true you kind of learn that everybody's human the more people you talk to you kind of
figure out okay you know everyone is human everyone goes through some of the same things and you kind of get more empathy for more people so um yeah that's number two don't judge a book by its cover let's drink this let's see what is on number three ah okay this is a really good one clear about intentions now this is actually a good example with the girl that was a little bit thrown off so I walked up I said hey you're absolutely gorgeous and then she saw the camera immediately she thought what are your intentions
okay um and sorry this is kind of awkward and that is the number one thing that you'll probably run into When approaching strangers is since they don't know you they don't know what your intention is sometimes you won't even know what your int intention is um now when I say that is what I mean by that is you have to be very clear on what your intention is is and right now my intention is to make a good video so I do have a bit of an outcome but usually when I'm not recording and I
walk up to somebody whenever I'm in a good mental space the best way to do it is have the intention of just having a nice conversation and just just vibing that turns people on and um yeah that's the number one thing so one thing I like to do whenever I'm approaching a stranger is I like to literally tell them my intention if I see that they have any doubt so for example I'm going to approach some strangers here and I'm going to be like yo I'm making a video my goal is to make it more
interesting by talking to strangers uh do you want to be in the video now they know my intention and they will there's no doubt there's no like shadiness you know they know exactly why I'm doing it I'm making a YouTube video about talking to strangers and you know I want to make it more interesting I was wondering could I have you in my video for like 2 seconds all right let's do it here come on over here what is the the number one thing that okay wait hold on I see I came un I'm unprepared
right now are you being recorded right now uh technically no cuz the fram's right here do you want to be on camera is that okay I just look kind of rough today you look kind of rough all right so are you how old are you guys 19 19 20 all right how many strangers do you approach and one day I would say a lot I love talking to people you do I don't talk to anyone so you're super extroverted yes what is one tip you would give on how to approach a stranger like cuz I
feel like a lot of times it's hard you know like you might be in your head you might not feel social you might get rejected how do you how do you overcome that I always start with a compliment you know cuz then you can kind of gauge how extra Fred they are based on their response yeah that's actually really cool so you give a compliment and if they're like super receptive like oh thank you so much you know that they're they're open to more conversation yeah that's that's a great advice cool you are you a
super extroverted person as well um it depends I guess like at work I can be I talk to a lot of strangers but like are you like a waitress or yes okay so I do have to talk to a lot of people I'd say it's easier to talk to strangers like just because you have no idea what they're like so sometimes you get great conversations out of that oh man I am I am a bit nervous I a bit out of the Z Zone here like I usually would but that was great advice actually you
give a compliment and you see how receptive they are that's another thing I try not to force conversation if like people are nervous and people aren't cool kind of just leave them where they're at like okay they're not receptive last Point all right so notice how I when I first approached him I told him exactly what my intentions were and I noticed this I learned this a lot while doing interviews if they don't know why you're doing it then they are usually more turned off but when you tell them exactly why you're doing it in
a clear concise way or if you just walk up to a girl and you're just like yo I think you're cute it's it's a lot more clear they know your intention um so I try to make my intentions clear whether it be hey I'm just sometimes when I go out at night I'll literally say this I'll be like yo I'm trying to get out of my head I don't feel very social right now so I'm walking up to you guys and I'm talking to strangers people are usually pretty open to that they're like okay well
he's just trying to he's trying to be social cool they'll let you know if they're cool with that um all right number four Logistics now this is a huge thing I learned When approaching strangers it's more dependent on what they're going through how their day is going than what you say now like I said you have to make your intentions clear you have to be sociable but sometimes they're just in a rush for class sometimes they're having a bad day sometimes it's just the wrong Rel maybe they're out with their boyfriend and you don't even
know that he's like grabbing a drink or something you say hi she's not going to be as receptive or sometimes she's with her family and she's not open to talking to stranger sometimes it's not you sometimes it's just the logistics so learning what I've learned approaching a lot of strangers is being more socially aware of what the logistics are I've written down is volume now what do I mean by volume one thing I've learned I mean unless I'm out of the Zone kind of like I am now is some people are going to be nice
and some people aren't and the only way to get over that is to be in a place with high volume this is a high volume place right now it's empty but when there's a bunch of students walking around I can continually do interviews and it doesn't matter when I get rejected because there's so many people and eventually one person's going to be nice eventually you're going to have a random dude run up and ask to be in the interview when it's high volume so one thing I learned about approaching strangers is I like to be
in places where there's a lot of people because it's hard to become a social person it's hard to practice your social skills when there's literally like not enough people because you only get a you only get so many shots so when it comes to talking to girls after a while let's say you go into a bar or something and there's literally like one cute girl there you you get one shot and and that's it compared if there's like 10 20 30 you can keep on trying you get better you can build momentum and that fastic
and as I'm wrapping up it's freezing so I'm actually going to walk back to my car as I make Point number five and as I said earlier like right now I'm nervous I'm kind of in my head I'm not really as social as I usually am but one thing that I've learned and this is huge is that you you kind of have to accept how you feel in any social interaction you can't let that stop you for example right now I feel nervous but I can still walk up in approach I can still get out
of my head I can still talk to people you have to accept where you're at whatever you're feeling you have to accept it where you're at and that is actually a key to overcoming it is just going through the motions of it you know like if you wait until you feel social you're just never going to approach or or if you do it's going to be like once a month so sometimes you just have to accept where you're at and I think people react better to when you're more congruent that's the word congruent to how
you feel so that's huge and then the last thing I'll leave you with however you feel people feels well so for example if I'm in an amazing mood you know I just ran uh got a good workout in life is good I'm feeling great people are going to feel that as well people feel what you feel and people feed off the energy that you put out so how you feel is more important than anything else so for example if you're having a great day you could turn around most bad moods like some people could be
they could look mean they could look like they're in a bad mood but the fact that you feel so amazing it's going to make the interaction way better so yeah guys um those are all the things that I've learned I hope you enjoyed this video that I shot in the freezing cold and uh yeah guys stay tuned for the next one all right peace
