bro check it out oh my goodness Grill what happened got a Deadpool and Wolverine coupon you want in two for one inject stem cells into your blood to become like your favorite Deadpool Wolverine and heal like super crazy for the low low price of only $24. 99 9. 99 let me see yeah okay there is 0% of this that seems legitimate what come on all you got to do is go meet a guy behind the Spring Mall wire the money of the Western Union to their Bank off sure I sit through a 5-hour seminar that blo they inject in your superhero now look here it even says in the fine print totally legitimate not a scam they misspelled Deadpool Wolverine and look at the Marvel logo wait a minute Marvel does not have an o in it damn it oh you can't feel pain you're a machine statements like that hurt the most bro ow sorry to say this I think it's it's a scam very astute observation hey you're smart not as smart as me mind you but a good level of smartness nonetheless so tell me how do I get super healing well there are a lot of promising fields of research which may lead to human regeneration but what happened to you are you okay that's not important right now what is important Professor X is that you teach me turn me into a superhero and you'll be my jvis not if my self autonomous sub routines have anything to say about it and you'll be my Cosmo the space to [Music] gr humans regenerate already no we don't we heal from wounds all the time when you get a cut the damaged cells set off an alarm and your immune system heeds the call various cells in your body take on Specialized tasks like a group of superheroes that I like to call the cell Avengers oh no Scarlet platelet races in and throws up a force field clotting the wound our friendly neighborhood fibrin comes in to spin a web which binds the clot together then Along Comes our team of white blood cells with Captain maccrage at the charge to defeat the alien pathogens billionaire iron fiber blast Works to rebuild the wound with collagen in a parallel structure which makes it rigid but strong eventually it gets rebuilt with the help of wakandan Princess karatinos site to be more flexible over the course of months or years by arranging it more like a woven basket like the rest of our skin you're like a mom trying to seem cool to her kids cringe levels critical we're also great at regenerating things like our blood cells brain neurons our liver and even young children can sometimes regrow the tips of their fingers that's because we have something called somatic stem cells or adult stem cells so wa we already have stem cells in our body so why can't we regrow hands and stuff ah well there are two main types of stem cells adult and embryonic adult stem cells are what we already have in our bodies while embryonic cells only exist between the third and fifth day of fertilization the main difference is that embryonic cells can form up any type of cells to help grow any part of a person while adult stem cells are limited in what they can turn into for example blood stem cells can only turn into any blood cell but there's more to growing a limb than just having stem cells the cells need the right signals to know how to form the limb we also require the right stem cells and enough of them a limb is a complex thing yeah yeah but you know what else is complex science so why don't you use it to give me superpowers huh super powers super healing especially but if I get something else cool in the process I wouldn't complain why don't you just give them to me how Wolverine and Deadpool got theirs I'll admit I don't know how they got them well well well how the turns have flipped to my side of the table let me tell you dear bro the tale of two Mighty superheroes all right hold on to your Jimmy chongas ladies in Internet maximum me a long long time ago late 1800s is in a magical place Far Far Away called Alberta Canada there's this kid okay allergic to everything under the sun literally he goes by James howling H nerd alert am I right his dad gets shanked and boom puberty hits and his dormant mutant genes get activated James turns from zero to fullon beast mode bone claws come out and he skewers his father's killer Instant Karma but plot twist the man he killed turned out to be the real daddy dearest by the name of Thomas Logan shocking I know I'll pause for dramatic effect okay first big clue on nerd had super healing those messy knuckle wounds left after his claws retracted gone poof then he took the much cooler name Logan and was instantly no longer a nerd and that super healing slowed down his agent and he fought in a bunch of Wars because you know being wounded or gotten an explosion wasn't really a big deal to him anymore as for all that tragic backstory his healing powers said forget about it wish my brain had a delete cringe memory button am I right it was my eighth grade high school talent show damn it Kyle you were supposed to like the flash paper not my pants uh fast forward to Weapon X a super secret government program hellbent on making super soldiers they asked Logan want to be even more badass and he's like sure Bob since he had that crazy heal they fused his bones with adamantium not to be confused with vibranium like frisbee boy over here Man comic books and their Invincible Metals am I right folks now in the Glorious mess of timelines that we call the X-Men Cinematic Universe our favorite metal Maestro learned Weapon X was going to erase his memory and use him like a weapon so he made a dramatic Escape but instead had his memory scrambled by two adamantium bullets you know from that plane crash of a movie with CGI so bad that I'm still emotionally damaged from it another memory I'd love power washed from my brain if I had known buddy was going to light my pants on fire I wouldn't have worn polka dot boxes their laughter burned almost as much as the Flames that scorched my legs calling me poker boy poker boy do you need a minute h no or if you follow the comics and the new timeline from X-Men Days of Future Past it was actually Weapon X that took a blender to his memory there seriously dude can't catch a break but his healing is like having a cheat code for Life senses on steroids cuz that healing keeps things like his ears eyes nose in tiptop shape stamina endless cuz it nukes the toxins like lactose that build up in muscles lactic acid yeah yeah it says bye bye bye to all the bad stuff all the viruses pois and booze The Works doesn't he drink in the films oh yeah booze C tickle is fancy but it has to be a boatload for it to do anything Plus in the later movies with him looking like he was from the cast of The Golden Girls his healing was on the frits suddenly he's hitting the sauce like it's happy hour at Chuck-E-Cheese it's why in the 2017 flick Logan the metal inside him was more toxic than an internet comment section but not our comment section our viewers are fantastic oh uh yes you guys are the best you uh have great hair unless you're bald and in which case you really make that work for you and uh just hurry up and hit the like button would you I'm losing my train of thought so nothing can kill Wolverine almost it's all about the gry matter if his brain doesn't get enough oxygen like through drowning he's a Ghana chop off the old Noggin assuming you can get through that adamantium spine he's co point or just destroying the brain in any way but he survived two adamantium bullets to the head that's from the movie that shall not be named at least in the movie Logan his clone took an adamantium Bullet to the brain and actually went tooo now Deadpool Along Comes snoy Wade Wilson straight out of Regina Saskatchewan huh two super healing dudes from Canada must be the free healthcare but W's background is Muddy let's just say he's got more childhoods than metal claws over here has movies but after he was old enough to do taxes he became a kick-ass self-made mercenary but then when Wade got a crap ton of tumors someone also asked him if he wanted to be more badass and he responded with you're sure shooting I do in the movie it was a shady organization maybe Weapon X don't know but they inject him with a super serum that's supposed to unlock mutant jeans but to unlock it they got to serve up a buffet of torture then blammo healing powers cancer dunzo but now he's looking like Freddy Krueger's second cousin twice removed then when he hears that he's not going to be joining the super squad he pulls a Houdini by setting the place on fire and fighting to his death in the comic it's a slightly different to there the people behind the transformation are definitely weaponx and what he got injected with was Wolverine super coties DNA got the healing cancer went bye-bye but then he lost his healing Mojo and turned into an avocado's offspring so they put him in a retirement home his new routine wake up get tortured go to sleep if they let him and repeat eventually through the torture his healing came back and he High tailed it out of there faster than you can say did I leave the stove on kill the red spandex red so they don't see him bleed and boy does he he's got healing powers that would make Wolverine jelly even growing back limbs like it's no big deal of course Wolverine should be able to do that too but chopping through adamantium is kind of like trying to cut through a brick wall with a knife made out of Styrofoam now Wade's head has been put through the ringer blown to Smither slice clean off you name it then he just grows a new noggin or puts it on like a hat and it heals right up plus he never ages there's even a version of himself that was still alive 800 years in the future so he's kind of like Wolverine 2.
0 minus the metal manicure what about drowning like Wolverine yeah not sure some say his dying cells would just regenerate those nerds like debating that stuff but I ain't no nerd you literally just that's what I want for Powers let's see any living thing on this planet be as cool as that there are plenty of animals with regenerative abilities there are these cute salamanders called axelos I mean look at these things who's the cutest empasta mexicanum that retains its youthful AR stage by never undergoing metamorphosis you are you are the cutest oh uh sorry you see they have this amazing regeneration ability where if their limbs are cut off a blood clot stops the bleeding and in the first 1 to two hours new skin cells cover the wound to form a protective barrier as more skin cells grow there they send off signals to the cells underneath to do their thing which rapidly divide to form a clump of cells called a blastea also known as the Regeneration bud this this bud is a mix of embryonic like stem cells adult stem cells and progenitor cells which are like more specialized adult stem cells so like they can turn into all the cells they need exactly and somehow it knows how to shape these new cells into the old limb researchers are still trying to figure out how that's done but the whole process takes 1 to 3 months depending on the age of the Axel now that's what I'm talking about deadpol totally regenerates his Limbs and when they regrow it's like that Blaster Mama thingy blasa that's what I said it's starts off all baby likee then grows into an adult hand or whatever but he can do it in hours not months it does seem pretty similar if Deadpool got his powers from Wolverine DNA maybe Howard order me some of that axle bottle DNA off of Amazon I am not your personal Alexa oh and uh set a reminder to call my mom later time 8 p. m.
