[Music] brought to you by the every dooll app start budgeting for free today so my parents asked me for 40 to 50K for a down payment for a second home oh God no don't do that okay well can can can finish finish question okay go ahead so they they currently live about 10 hours away from the rest of us siblings and they don't have the down payment uh for that home the reason for them not being able to move and be closer to us is my father is waiting to finish five more years at his
job to collect a pension and they are wanting to have the flexibility to be closer but to have their own place I'm 25 years old just got out of my own debt I'm really unsure what to do yeah I would say no why are they coming to you Michael and not another sibling um I'm the most financially secure right now uh my other three siblings are live in paycheck to paycheck or just getting out of their own student loans okay so what they're asking you is a couple of things they've created a set of um
principles for their life we're going to stay here for five more years we don't want to be uncomfortable when we travel we want to have our own place problem is they're grown adults but they can't afford these principles they've put into motion so they come to their 25-year-old child and said you make our dreams that we can't afford you make our principles uh concrete because we can't right and you that just it's not your job by the way this will mess up your relationship I would tell you there's a financial reason to not do this
but the main thing is dude it will mess up your relationship with your dad wor about yeah so I don't do you have $25,000 in cash you can just hand them yeah yeah um I uh I'm debt free now um quite a bit uh in a savings account right now um that he's aware of obviously he helps me um look at my financials he's the only one I talk to my financials you need to stop doing that by the way he's violated that trust and so you need to get a smart Vestor Pro and um
have that person do that I love my dad more than life itself and him and I don't go through the the intimate details of our fin my of our finances together um okay I have a person and he's got a person and that helps preserve our relationship right I hate this for you man uh how do you do can you predict it all Michael um just from the pattern of who they are is it more your dad wanting this you think or your mom um so it's obviously a complex situation um all of us kids
were all over the country when they decided to move down south away from us and now my two of my siblings are getting married in the next few months and uh you know wanting to have children obviously pretty quickly um so I think a lot of it has to do with them wanting to be closer to US during those times um obviously being stuck at that place that they're at right now due to the their current position yeah well they wouldn't be able to come up a ton anyways because he's working still right I mean
how often would they be able to come up realistically yeah that's a good question too and I I don't I don't know I would ask them that and honestly Michael for them I'm like I mean just do an Airbnb for two weeks like if they're coming up I mean for them financially that makes more sense instead of having an asset here um you know we had some friends and their in-laws yeah were out of state they weren't asking them for money but they were considering buying a condo and after they ran out the numbers like
well we're really probably realistically only going to be here a total of maybe 6 weeks throughout the year like if you put it all together your kids are here you can stay with them or get a hotel I don't know it just from a financial standpoint um it doesn't make sense if you can't pay cash for a second home for it just to be there for your own Leisure but you're paying a mortgage on something that's literally just sitting there it's not good I I don't I wouldn't even suggest that to them if they called
us and we're like hey I want to take out a loan on a second home here's the situation I would probably tell them no I wouldn't do that anyway let alone borrow the downum payment from yourself yeah I'm I'm planning to talk with them in a few months about it to the both of them just let them know but obviously you know wanted some advice I I would I would the language I would use is thank y'all so much for reaching out and it means a lot to me that y'all have noticed how I've turned
my things around that's pretty cool um I've got some pretty clear financial goals that I'm trying to hit and so I don't I'm not I'm I'm I'm not in a place where I can loan money to family members right and just any any response they have is they've got to own it man right I think I think the biggest thing for me is my parents have allowed me to be as you know in this position and and obviously I feel about what does that mean um theyve really pushed and you know so how I got
successful is just I got lucky uh doing what I do for for a job um and lean on my parents a lot and they had to take out some loans to get me you know to the point where I'm at now um more spefic specifically it's it has to do with obviously just the job that I have now and you know I I thought about changing my careers at one point and I'm glad I stayed with it because it's it's been very very successful also yeah and I hear that and I think we can give
I mean my parents paid for my college right I mean like there there are things that our parents do to give us a leg up that is 100% um being aware of that and saying that and the Gratitude and that I mean that I'm not ignoring that at all but also Michael you're a 25-year-old man who made decisions with his income where you could have gotten a second home two cars and you could be living paycheck to paycheck even though you make a lot of money you could make other decisions but you haven't you've chosen
to do things to get out of debt and to save and you've done those Michael they didn't do those for you and your siblings are an example of like your parents I'm sure help them in certain ways as well but they've chosen a different path so like I give yourself credit do you know what I mean like you you've yes our parents have helped us and we will always have that gratitude and acknowledgement always and but also there's a point that we become adults and we get to make our own decisions and from there is
and this isn't even at that level here's what I know for certain if Dave Ramsey and Sharon Ramsey I don't know how this happen if they fell on hard times and they had nowhere to go they have three amazing kids one of them sit next to me that would say y'all come stay at the house right we'll help you out we'll help you get on your feet this is not that situation mhm sure and so your sense of you're you're thinking of your parents investment in you as some sort of 401 that they put forward
and if they put that on you shame on them parents don't pay for their kids college as some sort of vehicle investment vehicle so that they get a demand of return so that when they want a different color car you have to be their bank right your parents aren't destitute they've made a series of choices starting a few years ago and like screw this we're moving out of here we want to move far away and they did yeah that's a great point it's a second home this a second home it's a it's a luxury yeah
you're right so this this isn't if if if they if your dad for then I'm all about it like we're going to help out Mom and Dad we're going to honor our father and mother I'm all about that but dude if it's to like pay for their their second like loan them money for the second I'm just I'm going say no man and and and I'll say this to Michael knowing my parents with the grandkids they're very emotional right now with this dream of oh my gosh our whole family is about to there's going to
be babies and like their emotions are probably driving this as well and so for 5 years they're going to be okay yeah they're going to be okay they're going be all right mom come stay with you anytime she want that's right thanks for the call Michael hope that helps create your free every dollar budget today the simplest way to budget for your life
