If you want to take the island, you got to burn your boats. You got to master the science of achievement and the art of fulfillment. Success without fulfillment is failure.
There's zero limit except you're deciding to be a creator and not a maintainer. So, you're deciding, I'm not just going to manage my life. I'm going to design and create something cuz the tools are available everywhere.
Most people major in minor things. They know more about some actresses or actor's love life. The biggest drug on earth is not cocaine.
It's not fentanyl. It's not dope. It's the three most important skills in life now are the ones that allow you learn more rapidly.
Number one, the skill of pattern [music] recognition. The second one is pattern utilization. And then the final skill, and this is what I'm teaching my children, is [music] you ultimately want to become a pattern creator.
Anyone who's incredibly successful in anything, they recognize there are certain patterns. And so once you create your own patterns, you bring something to table that's never been there before. When you make something never been there before, your value goes through the roof.
Change is never a matter of ability. It's always a matter of strong enough reasons of motive. If you got strong enough reasons, you can do just about anything.
But if you have weak reasons, you're not going to do anything. So the fact that you understand this is our discussion. In an event, [clears throat] you'd be in a rather a rather peak state.
And I take you through a process of consequence where you will envision what the consequences are and then you can make that shift. And you still got to condition it. This specific change is the hardest one.
Pain only goes so far. You've got to find something that it's like I I tell people there's two types of motivation, right? There's push motivation.
You know, you're making something happen. And I have an enormous willpower. I'm sure you do.
Most of the people we probably interact with have great willpower, right? But there's still a limit to it. There's no limit to pole motivation.
Pole is there's something so magnificent you want to serve something that you care about more than yourself. That's where all the energy in life comes from. I hate the word motivation.
I've never used it. I want to know your drives. Look, if you're fat, you're motivated to eat.
You know what's in your heart and your soul. What wakes you up in the morning and makes you go. And I think if I hadn't had the pain, I don't think I would have been sensitized.
But I also if I hadn't felt the pleasure of serving and seeing impact on such a large scale. I mean you got to take care of yourself. Don't get me wrong.
I take care of myself. And you know you get weaker and weaker the more you focus on yourself. The human mind is always going to figure out something that isn't good enough.
But when you're serving, you're not there. Like your mind's not there. You're with the people.
You're with what you're doing. And it's the escape from the mind's reductionism. The secret to life is to find something you care about more than yourself that gives you that pull motivation.
And then you're never going to lack for energy. You're never going to lack for passion. You're never going to lack for anything.
I need to lose weight. Um [music] I'm going to do it. I'm going to go on a diet.
Um I'm going to work out. Am I going to do it? [laughter] >> No.
Because I'm not in the state to do it. Now, most people are trying to figure out what to do. And there's nothing wrong with that, but it's the wrong sequence.
Most people, if they want to have a breakthrough, they want to change their body, they want to change their life, they look for how to do it. And that's natural, but it's the absolute wrong order. Why are so many people overweight in this country?
Like 60% of the population is overweight. How is that possible? Is it because what it takes to be fit and strong is so incredibly complex?
No. Only the 1% knows. No.
It's super expensive. No, you have to work not to know what to do. [music] So, the how is not the problem.
I say strategy story state. That's how you have a breakthrough. Yes, I'm a strategist.
The right strategy can save you 10 years. I love that. It's fun.
But if I start with a strategy, you'll listen and go, "Yeah, that's cool. " And you won't do it. The real problem is the story you have.
The story you have is I've tried everything. The story you have, nothing works. The story has all the good ones are gone and I'm gay and they're not or they're gay and I'm not.
It's the story is the belief you've [music] told yourself over and over because belief is the invisible force that controls everything in your life. I've trained my brain when I say go, we go. I'm not in the place when I say go somewhere else.
My brain obeys. I'm not I don't have these stories in my head back and forth trying to have a conversation with myself trying to convince myself to do something I've decided. Decision point is everything.
So, I've trained myself to do it. But also, it produces a massive change. It is not comfortable.
I don't think there's been a morning in my life that I've looked forward to doing [music] it. We all must grow. When you grow, you feel alive.
And if you don't grow, you start to die inside. And this isn't my rule. Everything in the universe grows or dies.
As you well know, this is the law of the universe. We grow so we have something finally to give. Which is where meaning comes in life.
When I grow, I have something more to give. And if I can give that to someone, then my life is more meaningful than just the pleasure of I have the machine that, you know, makes me feel pleasure in certain parts of my body and feeds me and all the things you talked about. What is the most important thing we should have talked about that we didn't talk about?
>> Fulfillment is an art. It's not a science. It's different for you and me and everybody we meet.
The richness of life is when you go deeper and figure out what makes you feel [music] like it's a red square for someone else. But this is your thing. This is what fulfills you.
I know what fulfills me. Family, love, as you can probably tell, and contribution in a meaningful way. Light me up like a Christmas tree.
And they've made me go for 66 years and it'll keep me going, right? But [music] people got to find what that is for themselves. Because if you succeed and you're not fulfilled, what do you got?
How many people have taken their life? They're super successful on the surface, but they weren't fulfilled. If you really are committed to a greater quality of life, you got to master the science of achievement and the art of fulfillment.
And fulfillment is not like achievement. There's very cool real rules for achievement like what to do with your body. Multiple ones, but there's certain fundamentals that are immutable, what to do financially, certain things that are immutable.
It's just part of the way we look at life. It's there's a process you go through and there'll be different things that trigger you. When you want a real lasting change, you have to change the driving [music] force.
When we change these, it's changing your values. Think about how your brain is a predictor and it's trying to close the gap between what it's predicting what reality is. When it's not working, it looks for an answer.
When you get to the point where your old strategy doesn't work enough and you have enough pain, you will search for something new. And if at that time we can give you something that actually works, you'll grab it. It's like if you're drowning in a sea of confusion and I throw you a life raft, you're not going to go, I don't like the color, you know, you're going to grab a hold and it comes into your unconscious.
And the other last thing I'd say about that is it's also about going beyond your conscious mind. If you ever try to do something and then sabotage yourself, it's consciously you wanted one thing, subconsciously another. I believe all lasting change happens in an altered state.
There are millions of things you can focus on, but you don't experience life. You experience the life you focus on. And most of us are distortion deletion creatures.
Our brains don't take it all in consciously. It's too much. So our brains delete things.
We distort things. We generalize things so we can make it through our lives. And so if you don't control your focus, you react.
The thing that changed my whole life, a single event was a knock on the door on Thanksgiving. [music] And there's this tall guy standing there with two bags of groceries, one in each hand, and at his feet, he had an uncooked frozen turkey in a pan, you know, and he went and slammed the door on the guy. And that day, my dad's focus was the fact that fit his family.
It wasn't hard to figure out. He said it over and over again after he slammed the door. And my focus was, "Wow, there's food.
What a concept. " You know, I was excited. But the second decision you make every moment, the minute you focus on something, your brain has to figure out what does this mean?
Is this the end or the beginning? Is this person dissing me? Is they are they challenging me?
Are they coaching me? Are they loving me? And whatever meaning you give, it produces emotion.
And out of that emotion, you make the third decision. What am I going to do? And that day, I know the meaning my dad did.
It wasn't just that he didn't feed his family. It's that he was worthless. You know, I can't even feed my family.
And he muttered all this stuff continuously. I I took that as strangers care. It completely violated everything I had experienced in my life up until that point.
And my brain was like, if a stranger doesn't even want credit for this and they fed my family on Thanksgiving, I got to care about strangers. And so what I decided to do is someday I'm going to I'm going to do this for others. And so when I was 17, I went out and I uh I didn't have a lot of money, but I was doing okay.
And I went to a grocery store and I told the manager what happened in my life and I said, "I want to feed two families. Help me out. Give me a discount.
" And he gave me 10% off. And I thought, "She cheap bastard. " But I took it.
I had the most enjoyable shopping. I took two shopping carts and just filled it up with two families. And then I um I called this church and I said, "Who do you know that needs help but won't ask [music] for it?
Won't come for it. " And they gave me two families names. And so I wrote a little note.
I just put this is a gift from a friend. Everyone has tough [music] times. I hope you have a beautiful Thanksgiving.
And someday if you can pay this forward. I didn't use the word pay it forward. I said, "Do this for someone else.
" But now you look at us pay it forward. my worst day of my life was really my best day. That the day that was the most painful to me cuz that father is the one who he adopted me.
I carry his name that I wouldn't be there that day. I'm a good human being but you know would I work as hard as I worked to feed other people. I mean I'm next year I did four then eight then 12 and I had a little company.
I got my employees involved and I got to a million people, two million people. And then about 12 years ago, I decided [music] I want to throw I want to feed a billion meals here in the United States in 10 years. And so it's grown and grown and grown all from not being fed.
And so I I I see it as a blessing. I see I always tried to help people say, "How could you turn your worst day into your best day? That's when life is really magical.
" There's a million ways to feel connection and love. [music] Some are positive, some are negative. Some people get connected by their problems.
They're always comparing problems. You ever seen two people comparing, but I had this? Well, you think that's bad.
Let me tell you mine. They're arguing over significance. And they're connecting through their problems, right?
So, the biggest drug on earth is not cocaine. It's not fentanyl. It's not dope.
It's problems. Cuz the deepest fear everybody has is they're not enough. And our deeper fear is if we're not enough, we won't be loved.
I've never met a human being. I've worked with kings, queens, winners of everything you can imagine, academy awards, scientists. There's some point in which you might feel for [music] someone you care about most that you're not smart enough, young enough, old enough, playful enough, something enough.
And it is the worst feeling on earth. To feel like you are unloved and worthless is internal death. When you when you witness certain things in life that are so intense, they alter you.
They change you. They change what you value. They change what what you make important in your life.
What I say to people, you want your life to keep growing. Keep putting yourself in new environments. Keep getting around things you're not used to and let something hit you.
You like people don't know their passions because they keep going doing the same things. It's like get around where it's better and see what hits you and something's going to strike you. Something is going to wake you up.
Something is going to make you feel more, desire more, want to give something to life as opposed to just live your life cuz the life you described to those people is predictable. And when we grow, we get that life cycle.
