my boyfriend has become more and more controlling over the past couple of weeks and now he wants me to tattoo his name on my body and I'm completely freaking out posted by / noova alan4 I 23f have been dating my boyfriend 26m for almost 2 years recently during intimacy he brought up this wild idea about tattooing his name's property on me down there so I'd be officially his it caught me off guard but since we were in the middle of roleplay I just went along with it and said yes thinking it was just bedroom talk
fast forward a few days he casually brought it up again asking if I'd be okay with him tattooing that phrase on me down there I thought he was still joking so I played along sarcastically telling him I'd love to get it tattooed thinking there was no way he was serious now 5 days after this incident he actually ordered an $800 tattoo pen I was so thrown off and honestly felt super weird about it I told him that I thought he wasn't serious at all he got really disappointed and said he was serious because he's already
tattooed my name on his collar bone since he knows I don't want a visible tattoo he figured this would be a good compromise because no one else would see it but him this seems really controlling to me and this controlling Behavior has been surfacing more frequently for example he insists on knowing exactly where I am at all times and gets upset if I don't respond to his texts right away we ended up having a ridiculous argument yesterday he's upset saying he'd gladly tattoo my name or anything related to me anywhere on his body again so
he can't understand why I won't do this one thing for him I told him I wasn't okay with it and eventually he calmed down and agreed to drop it but I can still sense that he's mad at me and upset that I wouldn't do something for him that he would do for me without hesitation honestly I can't believe this is even a real argument I know this is serious and I don't want to ignore the signs but it's hard for me to see it that way because I love him more than anyone he genuinely loves
me always checking up on me and making sure I'm okay he's always been there for me even in my hardest times when no one else was there to help me I'm genuinely worried about how our relationship could escalate especially considering he has a short temper and has started being so controlling recently what should I do I feel really bad and suffocated when I'm the reason he gets upset about something edit I didn't share much about our relationship and there's a lot to consider I know a lot of you are saying I should leave him and
that he's a red flag but it's not that easy for me for a couple reasons he's never shown any manipulative signs before cares about me a lot and has never made me feel like I'm a burden to him in any way he's moved countries for me quit his job and went through the hassle of finding a new one near where we live now he stopped talking to his parents because they don't like me and wouldn't accept our relationship from their point of view I have too much influence on him and they think I'm distancing him
from his family but in reality I'm not in all our disagreements even though he's short-tempered he's never yelled at me or shown any signs of hitting me he's always respected my boundaries regarding literally anything except for a couple of times when he annoyed the hell out of me by asking about my location 247 and who I was hanging out with which happened recently he's close with my family and my friends all like him I haven't told them about the recent stuff it's not like he's ever tried to isolate me or anything today he brought up
the tattoo thing he admitted that it was a stupid Kink and fantasy he had in his mind and he got carried away with it he said he was truly ashamed and disgusted by how he reacted to it and feels horrible for making me uncomfortable with him for even having such an idea it really got to him and he started crying saying he knows this recent controlling behavior is damaging our relationship he said he needs a second chance and hopes I don't give up on him because he genuinely needs help he admitted he'd been thinking about
his behavior over the past few months and that it had been bothering him but he was unable to address it to me because he feared I'd break up with him he kept apologizing saying he wasn't thinking straight when he ordered the pen he made it clear that he won't ever force me or pressure me to do anything get mad about things I don't want to do or second guess my decisions ever again he suggested we go to coup's therapy and he's ready to work on himself because he feels like he's losing control over his actions
and doesn't fully understand why this is happening I really appreciate the advice and support and I'll definitely be keeping it in mind as I figure out what I should do commenter this isn't a sign he is actively abusing you you are afraid of angering him and he is continuing to punish you for not doing what he wants you are allowing it to happen you're 23 you have your whole life ahead of you one day you will be shocked and embarrassed that you actually dated someone like this you will be grateful you didn't waste more of
your life living like this if you do the right thing that is update 2 weeks later I had been seriously considering breaking up with him because of what he did 2 weeks ago things started getting back to normal and he was acting fine until 4 days ago I was out with my friends at a cafe and I had told him I was going out but didn't mention the name of the cafe I also told him I'd be home by 7: however I lost track of time and my phone died it was almost 8 when I
saw him walk into the cafe toward me I still have no idea how he knew where I was since I hadn't told him the name of the cafe and none of my friends had told him anything either I asked him and he ignored my question saying he got worried because I wasn't picking up his calls so he came to check on me I didn't argue much since we were in public but back home I confronted him because it was so creepy and such an invasion of my privacy he never answered my question instead he told
me he couldn't trust me anymore because I've been distant since the tattoo situation and every time I'm with my friends he assumes I'm plotting to break up with him and distancing myself he ranted about this for 15 minutes until I'd had enough and told him I wanted to break up he looked completely shocked didn't say anything and went straight to the guest room locking the door behind him I panicked because I thought he might do something stupid I don't trust him in situations like this anymore but he said he needed to think so I left
him alone I didn't sleep around 3:25 a.m. I heard a loud thought outside my room I went to the guest room and it was a mess he was completely drunk his eyes red I have no idea how long he'd been crying but he looked like a completely different person he told me he loves me more than anything that he could die for me and would do anything to make me happy he said he doesn't understand why I can't forgive him for the mistake he made two weeks ago which he deeply regrets he said he wasn't
trying to control me but said he couldn't just sit by and watch me walk away he promised to change for the better but said he wouldn't let me leave him I didn't want to talk about any of this while he was in such a state so I started to leave the room he stopped me and said he'd give me as much space and time as I needed but he wouldn't let me break up with him he said he keep coming back to me until I figured things out and got back with him I was so
taken aback by how he was reacting and what he was saying I still can't get this line out of my head it keeps repeating I'll make you see how much I love you even if you don't want it I'll do anything to make you stay I don't care if it takes months or years hearing that I started fearing him for the first time he was completely unrecognizable and everything about this felt so wrong on so many levels I knew what I had to do but I also knew that if I started packing my bags at
that moment I had no idea what he might do I went to our room and locked myself in 5 hours later I found him asle sleep on the floor I left the apartment and currently staying at my friend's house it's been 3 days and he's been contacting me non-stop begging to talk in person there are 834 Miss calls and countless messages he even came to my friend's house to try to talk to me but I refused I'm a mess right now I don't know how to handle this situation all my belongings are still at his
apartment and I don't want to face him especially not now I don't feel like talking to him it's also creepy and I hate myself so much for Still Loving and caring about him after all this I don't know what to do where did I go wrong why is this happening to me I did everything I could to fix things but he's just changed so much in the past few months I feel like I'm losing my mind why do I still love him I don't know how to get past this situation up in the comments I'm
still figuring out what I want to do I got my phone checked and thankfully there wasn't any stalkerware application or anything like that I didn't realize it at the time but he had the passwords to my social media account so he probably read my chats from there and figured out which Cafe I was at for now I've blocked him and I don't want to talk to him right now I've asked my friend to let him know that I won't be speaking to him anytime soon or meeting him in person to talk things out he agreed
to give me the space I asked for he said he'd wait for me to figure things out but I know he's not entirely okay with it as for my things at his apartment I've arranged for three to four of my friends to go and grab everything tomorrow surprisingly he agreed to that without any major push back but I'm not taking any chances I've already updated the passwords for my social media and bank accounts I also need to figure out where I'm going to live since we shared the place and he was covering the rent and
other expenses until I find a new spot I'm staying with my friend I'll update you all once everything is sorted out
