7 Years of Storytelling Advice in 54 Mins

By now, I've coached thousands of people on storytelling, gave storytelling workshops to companies like Google, Medlife, Visa, and many more, and I'll also publish the number one bestseller, *The Story Selling Method*. Now, the stuff that you're about to learn has taken me years to figure out. To save you the time, I'm going to compress everything that I know into 20 lessons. After this video, you'll know everything you ever need to know to tell insanely good stories. First lesson: Don't use the "SWW." A few weeks ago, I was leading this storytelling workshop here in the

Netherlands, and at one point, one of the participants stood up and began with, "Um, let me tell you a story." Okay, right in that moment, I interrupted him. "Whoa, hold on there! Can you start over, but this time without the 'SWW'?" Confused, he said, "Uh, what's the 'SWW'?" I said, "It's 'story.' Can you start your story without saying, 'Oh, let me tell you a story'?" Now, why should you avoid saying "story"? Because some people—certainly not everyone, but some people—hear the word "story," and it triggers almost like this negative expectation. They may think, "Oh great, here

it comes, a 15-minute fairy tale. Do we really have time for this?" The good thing is, you can easily avoid that reaction. So instead of saying "story," say "experience," "case," "example," or "event." For instance, if you're sharing a story in front of your friends, you can say, "Two weeks ago, I had this crazy, crazy experience," and then launch into your story. Or if you're sharing a story at work, you can say, "Let me quickly share an example to really show that point," okay? And then launch into your story. It's a subtle but very important shift.

With that clear, let's now look into the next lesson. Second lesson: Start strong or SSS. You have 7 seconds to grab your audience's attention. If you spend those crucial seconds setting expectations or providing too much context, you know what happens? "H, what should I eat for dinner tonight, pizza or pasta? Wait, what is that guy even talking about?" You only have one chance to make this first impression—make it count! Obviously, you don't have to do that well unless you want to, which is also cool. But let me now share three ways to start your story

strong. First, jump into action. Jump into the scene where something is happening. Make the character do something—talking, biking, stepping, reading—anything that brings in forward momentum. Example: "I stood in front of the manager's door, took a big breath, knocked three times, and slowly opened the door. As I peered inside, I saw my manager, the head of HR—Amelia. I knew this wasn't good." Second, ask a question. Ask a question that makes your audience reflect on their own experiences or feelings. It’s a great way to make them think and connect with your story. Example: "Have you ever wondered

what it would be like to just walk away from everything that you've ever known and start over? Well, that’s exactly what I did when I packed my bags and moved across the entire country." Third, use a cliffhanger. Start your story as close as possible to the most crucial part of the story. Show your listeners that this moment is going to be huge, but don’t share everything yet. Example: "I was standing in my room with a letter in my hand. I knew that was it. I knew that this letter would change my life forever. But hey,

let’s wind back to when it started." All of these three hooks work incredibly well. If you start your story strong, your audience will be with you in that story, fully present. Now, the hook is crucial, but I guess if the foundation is not great, you won't be able to keep their attention. To have the right foundation, the next lesson is absolutely essential. Third lesson: Master one story structure. Now, when I started on my storytelling journey, I had this moment that made me question how storytelling is taught. Back in 2020, I took this very expensive storytelling

course here in the Netherlands. They taught their hero's journey, which is that beautiful 17-step story structure used in films like *Star Wars* or *The Lord of the Rings*. Now, I love that structure, and I thought, "I'm going to try this out at work. Sure, the customer will love it!" So the next day, I'm in a meeting with that customer, launching into my breathtaking story, expecting the client to be blown away. Well, that didn't exactly happen. Halfway into the story, the customer started to look away, and it almost felt like he was uncomfortable with my story.

After hearing my story, he awkwardly ended the call and said, "Oh, thanks. Okay, we'll be in touch," all right? And he left the call. Confused, I sat there and thought, "Wait, what just went wrong?" It wasn't until I called my sister that I realized the problem. She said, "Philli, obviously your stories are too big, too long. Hey, this is not a TED Talk; this is a casual conversation!" And there it hit me: the structure that they teach in most of the courses is useful for these big stages, but it’s completely useless for the stories we

tell in front of our friends or at work. Those casual stories should be 1 to 2 minutes long, and in that 1 to 2 minutes, you don't have the time to cover 17 steps of the hero's journey. You need something much simpler, but still effective. That's when I developed a structure that changed my life and that will work for almost any of the stories that you will tell. It's called CT, or CARD, and it's made up of four steps: context, adversity... Resolution and takeaway: Think of your structure like this card in the supermarket that holds

together all the awesome ingredients or elements of your story. Or I guess, if you also want to remember it, just remember that it rhymes on "fart." Let's break it down. **Step One: Context** First, set the scene for your story. Give your listener some basic context. Where and when does the story take place? Who's the main character, and what do they want? Example: It was October 2019; I was in Amsterdam, rushing to the train station. I had to be there on time to catch the train for my job interview with the company I had always dreamed

about. They invited me for an interview. That's it! Who went? When? Where? What? Boom! Just a few sentences to establish the setting, and then move into the most important part of the story as quickly as possible. **Step Two: Adversity** Next, you want to introduce the conflict or the challenge that the main character faces. This is really the heart of the story. This is where things go wrong or where the tension builds. Now, the adversity can be anything: a difficult decision, another person, an emotional challenge, a physical challenge—anything, as long as it's substantial for that main

character. Example: As I reached the station, I realized I had left my wallet at home. I panicked and thought, "How am I going to pay for the train? What if I miss my interview?" I searched every single pocket, but I just couldn't find my wallet. Now, this is really the part where the tension builds up. Show what is at stake and let us know how the character feels in that moment. This step is usually the longest and most engaging part of the story. **Step Three: Resolution** Now, you want to describe how the character deals with

that adversity. What actions do they take? What decisions do they make? And, crucially, how does the story resolve at the end? Example: Just when I thought that I would miss my train, I saw a woman who noticed my panic approach me and offer to buy my ticket. I couldn't believe it! I made it to my interview just in time. Up to this point, the story is an interesting story, but your listeners don't really know why you're telling them that story. That's when you move into the last step. **Step Four: Takeaway** Finally, tell your audience what

you learned from that experience. What realization did you have? What is the point of going through all of that? Example: What I learned from that experience is that unexpected help shows up when you need it the most. And I guess also to just double-check my pockets the next time I leave my house. When you share that takeaway, avoid phrases like "the moral of the story" or "you should take away..." Why? Because that can make you sound a little bit preachy. Instead, frame it as something you learned; it’s a little bit softer and less preachy. Okay,

mastering this simple four-step structure—context, adversity, resolution, takeaway—will give your stories a really strong foundation. It's quick to learn, flexible enough to adapt to most situations, and it helps your story to be clear, concise, and, at the end, engaging. But hey, you can still tell a pretty average story by having a great structure; that's why the next lesson is absolutely crucial. **Lesson Number Four: Show, Don't Tell** One of the golden rules in storytelling is to show, don't tell. So, instead of directly telling your audience how the character feels, show how it looks. Show the emotions, the

actions, the environment, and bring your listeners into the story. It should feel as if the story is happening to them. But not going to lie, when I first heard "show, don't tell," I didn't really get it. Back then, I had no interest in writing a novel, and it seemed that all of the advice out there was for writers. Now, listening to thousands of oral stories, I realized that there are actually three techniques of "show, don't tell" that are super simple but very, very effective. **First Technique: Use Dialogue** Dialogue is a powerful tool for showing rather

than telling. So instead of saying what someone felt or thought, share the exact words of that moment. Let their words and their interactions reveal that emotion. Example: Before, he was angry with me. After that moment, he snapped, "Are you kidding me? You said you'd be here on time, and now look! Oh man, everything is ruined!" Through this exchange, you get a sense of that character's anger without explicitly saying it. **Second Technique: Show Through Action** Actions speak louder than words. What a character does reveals much more about their feelings and intentions than simply stating them. Use

physical movements and behaviors to convey that emotion and tension. Example: Before, she was nervous. After, she kept fidgeting with her ring, twisting it around her finger, taking it off, and just looking at that clock every few seconds. Those actions convey the nervousness much more effectively than just saying, "Oh, she was nervous." **Third Technique: Show Through Metaphors** Another great way to show rather than tell is through metaphors, analogies, and comparisons. This can help convey the emotions in a much more engaging and creative way. Example: Before, the kids were excited. After, the kids’ excitement was like this

wildfire spreading as they chattered and jumped with enthusiasm. Now that comparison helps the audience feel the energy in the room. By showing instead of telling, you allow your audience to experience the story firsthand as if it was happening to them. The more you show, the more immersive your storytelling is going to be. But hey, that next lesson is actually a lesson I wish I had learned right when I started on this journey. Lesson number five: Build a story bank for my book, "Public Speaking with Confidence." I asked the 2019 World Champion of Public Speaking, Aaron

Bly, "Hey, Aaron, how do you prepare for your speech?" His response was simple but blew my mind. He said, "I have a story file where I've documented anything that could be slightly more interesting. Once I'm invited to give that speech, I'll just review my entries and look for a story that could potentially work with that audience." Sure, your ambition may not be to be the next World Champion of Public Speaking, but I'd encourage you to do the same: build a story bank. If you rely on your memory alone to remember those stories, your stories will

start slipping away. That's exactly what happened to me before; I used to forget most of my stories. That all changed only about four years ago when I started my story bank. Now, the story bank is this dedicated place where I record and categorize all of my stories. Sure, it takes me a few minutes to document those stories, but the payoff is enormous. Today, my story bank holds, I think, around 141 stories (still counting!). Now, the incredible thing is that I can use those stories for the rest of my life. They're there for me whenever I

need them, whether I'm delivering a speech, engaging in a meeting, or just telling a story in front of friends. So, what should you capture in your story bank? Well, I try to keep it pretty simple, and I focus on five things. First, a title—a short title that helps you remember the story. Second, a point—that's the core message or point that you want to convey. Third, a summary—just a few bullets to help you remember the story. Fourth, a use case—the situations in which that story could be useful. And then lastly, a rating—a rating of how much

you enjoy telling that story or also how much your audience likes your story. Now, you might be wondering, "Where should I store all of these stories?" The answer is: wherever works best for you. I use Notion because I can access it while traveling, and I can update it from anywhere. But it doesn't really matter if you use Google Docs, Evernote, Notion, or even a physical journal. To make it even easier for you, I've created a template of my story bank, which I'll link in the description below. That way, you don't have to spend hours building

a story bank from scratch. Now, a story bank is like having a savings account for your stories. Each time you add a story, you're investing in your ability to tell more impactful stories. The more stories you have in your story bank, the more you'll be prepared to inspire, connect, and entertain others. At first, that story bank might still be a little bit empty, but that's where the next lesson comes in super handy. Lesson number six: Find magic in the mundane. When I started on my storytelling journey, I thought those great, great stories are big stories—the

type of stories like the time I almost died climbing in Rio de Janeiro or the time I met God while participating in some crazy iwasa ceremony in the Amazon. After studying some of the best storytellers out there, I realized that actually, that wasn't the case. In fact, it's often not recommended to tell these big stories. Why not? Because those stories are not relatable. Storytelling is about building a connection. When you share a story about this extreme event, you're not building a connection; you're pushing the audience away. It's too far removed from everyday life. The best

storytellers know this, and they focus instead on these smaller moments. The difference is that they tell these small moments so skillfully that they almost appear as extraordinary events. So, how can you spot those small moments? There is an exercise called "Homework for Life" by Matthew Dicks. It is the only exercise I've been doing every single day for four years now, and if you take anything away from today, let it be this: here's how it works. At the end of each day, take a moment and ask yourself, "If I had to tell a story from today,

what would it be?" You're not looking for something huge, just a small act of kindness, a funny conversation, or even that small thing that annoyed you—anything that touched your heart. Now, once you have that moment, write down the date and that story-worthy moment. For example, today was August 22, and my story-worthy moment was feeling proud after cooking curry for dinner. Now, just quick context: that was a huge moment for me because I haven't cooked in like 14 months; I usually just order or eat outside. So, I felt really like this grownup today. Well, anyway, probably

sharing a little bit too much information here—probably thinking, "What a weirdo!" right now. Anyhow, what about you? What was your story-worthy moment today? Let me know in the comments. Now, what's in it for you? At first, your entries might not seem overly special. They may look something like, "Oh, I really enjoyed this peanut butter sandwich this morning," or "I took the bus to work." But over time, you start to notice more and more of those story-worthy moments. You'll realize that your life is actually full of stories; you just got to spot them. If you stick

to that exercise just for a few weeks, you'll soon have this suitcase of stories ready to share because those small moments are really where the best stories are often hiding. But let's say you do this for... A while, but how can you then actually start sharing these mini moments with the world? Here’s where the next lesson comes in: Lesson number seven, share tiny stories. Even though I knew how to tell stories, it took me actually quite a while to share them. I just couldn't figure out when and where to drop a story. Most of the

time, I only realized, say, hours and hours later. I was like, "Ah, Phillip, you’re so stupid! You could have used the story in that moment." That only changed when I developed one simple habit. Instead of waiting for the perfect moment to tell this big story, I started telling these tiny stories in one specific situation: whenever someone asks me, "How are you?" Before, I’d give this habitual answer; I would say something like, "Oh, good, thanks," or "Oh yeah, great! Finally, the sun is out." But after this change, I began sharing a tiny story instead. For example,

if someone were to ask me today, "How are you?" I’d respond like this: "I’m good! Actually, today I feel like such a grown-up. Today, I cooked vegetable curry." I know this sounds like nothing, but for me, it was huge. I hadn’t cooked in like 14 months. Usually, I just order, but today I felt like it was time to be an adult. Anyway, what about you? When was the last time that you tried something new, and how was that for you? That’s it—a tiny story that shares a little bit more about me as a person. So,

what kind of things can you actually say when someone asks you, "How are you?" Now, I try to respond with anything that is more engaging than weather or traffic. That could be, "Has there been something interesting that has happened to you? Maybe you've picked up this new skill that is interesting to share? Or is there even this small thing that annoyed you but it’s still kind of funny to share?" Now, you might be wondering, "Hey, isn’t this super awkward to share something unsolicited? Like, no one asked for that?" Absolutely! Yeah, it’s super weird at the

beginning. But what I can tell you now, after using those stories hundreds and hundreds of times, is it’s absolutely worth it! Try it out, gather your own data points. Not only will you become this better storyteller, but you'll also spark more meaningful conversations with co-workers, friends, and even strangers. But hey, let’s now move into the next lesson; that lesson is a must-have in any story. Next lesson: Build anticipation. Imagine you’re super hungry and you've just ordered a meal from your favorite restaurant. You can't wait for the food to arrive. Every minute, you check your phone;

you look for the delivery guy. "Only 10 minutes away!" You sit there and you're so excited, like, "Ooh, I can't wait for the food to arrive!" That sensation of waiting, craving, and desire—that is what dopamine creates. You want to create that same sensation for your audience when telling your story. Well, not that you want your audience to think of food; you want them to be on the edges of their seats, dying to find out what happens next. So, how do you build anticipation? First, sell your story. Before you go into your story, say a sentence

to get your listeners excited about it—something that immediately piques their interest and makes them want to hear the rest of the story. For example, "Just yesterday, I had an experience that completely changed my outlook on life," or "Two weeks ago, I had the worst meeting of my life." Second, drop mini cliffhangers. Now, hooking them at the start is good, but don't just hook them there. Try to insert these mini cliffhangers throughout your story. For example, "Just when I thought that I had everything under control, my phone rang with a message that made my heart stop."

Or, "As I walked down the alley, I heard some footsteps behind me, but when I turned around, no one was there." So, try to include a few hooks throughout your entire story. Now, what happens if you don't hook them? Well, your listeners will then just look for other cheap sources of dopamine. Avoid that by including a few sentences that raise the anticipation. Next lesson: Bring your characters to life. Just last week, I watched Star Wars Episode 2 for, I think, the fifth time. It’s so freaking good! Anyway, at one point, like in pretty much every

Star Wars movie, dozens of Stormtroopers were killed. For those of you who haven't watched Star Wars before, Stormtroopers—they're the bad guys. Now, as I sat on my couch seeing all these bodies of the Stormtroopers pile up, I noticed that I was feeling happy, relieved. I somehow didn't feel any sympathy whatsoever for the Stormtroopers. Now, why is that? One reason could be that I’m a very troubled person and I have a lot of problems—that could be one reason. But the more likely reason is that I don't know anything about the Stormtroopers. They're these faceless, nameless creatures.

I don't know anything about them. For Star Wars, it makes sense because they don't want us to sympathize with the bad guys. But for our stories, oftentimes, we don't share anything about the main character that makes our audience care. So, how can you avoid that? How can you bring your characters to life? First, describe the physical characteristics. You can describe the character's appearance, like their clothing, body type, or even gadgets, in any way that makes it more memorable. Give the details that really stick in your audience’s mind. For example, "She had this bright, infectious smile

that could light up any room. Also, her curly hair looked..." Like she just stepped out of this wind tunnel, the second reveal of their quirks and traits. Now you can share the unique traits or habits that make your character stand out and feel real. Example: He had a habit that he couldn't start his day without making sure that every item on his desk was perfectly aligned. And third, share their dreams and fears. Show what drives the character and what they're afraid of. Now that adds depth and makes your audience empathize and cheer for them. Example:

Her biggest dream was to open a small bakery and really bring joy to her community, but her fear of failing just kept her from taking that plunge. When you bring your character to life, your audience will connect with them and care about their journey. So remember, don't be a stormtrooper. Let's now go to the next lesson. That lesson is probably the one that is the easiest to make any story more interesting: lesson number 10, make it emotional. Quickly think about a childhood memory. It can be any memory that pops to your mind: maybe it was

a birthday party, maybe it was a family holiday, or maybe it was a school performance. Now, how old were you at that time, and also, what did you feel in that moment? Also, why do you think you remember that moment? I’ll tell you why: it's because of the emotions you felt in that moment. These can be pleasurable emotions like happiness or excitement, or painful emotions like fear and sadness. Now, compare that with how much you remember from, let’s say, a meeting you had a week ago or that encounter with a friend a week ago. You

probably forgot 99% of what you talked about in that meeting. If you want to connect with your listeners and be remembered years and years down the line, you've got to tell a story that touches them emotionally. So how can you infuse emotions into your story? There are two techniques that I love more than anything else. First technique: share the thoughts. Let us know what the character is thinking in that crucial moment of the story. What are the hopes, the dreams, the fears, the plans going on in the character's mind? Example: Before I was beating myself

up over gaining another 10 lbs. After, I thought, "I'm useless. Why is it so hard for me to just eat like a normal person? I don't even have the willpower to go one day without sugar." Second: show the emotions. Show the emotions rather than just telling the emotions. Show us what the emotion looks like on the body or on the face when experiencing that emotion. Example: Before, I was stressed about the deadline; my chest felt tight. Thinking about that deadline was like this weight pressing me down, making it really hard to breathe. By sharing the

thoughts and showing the emotions, your audience will find it much easier to visualize, feel, and also remember your story. Let me now share another lesson. I've seen some very average stories land incredibly well, only because of that: lesson number 11, act out key moments. Now, how do you use your voice, your body, and your emotions to tell your story? Well, there are different styles in this one. Some use it very little; they rely 100% on their voice or on their story. Others use them quite a lot. As you can probably see, I like to use

my voice and my body to bring the story to life. I'm acting out parts of my story, but hey, look, I'm not a professional actor, and neither are you. But that doesn't mean we cannot use some of their techniques to bring our stories to life. Now, there are three techniques that are pretty easy to try out in your next story. First technique: show the action. If you say, "I bent down to pick up that orange," well, actually bend down, pick up that orange, and hold that imaginary orange in your hand. Or if you say, "I

walked across the hall and opened the door," then take a few steps, pretend to open that door, and go inside. Show the action; don't just describe it. Second technique: show reactions. Now, in life, something happens, and we react. Whether it's raising our voice when we get angry, laughing when we're happy, or speaking very softly when we're sad, we react. But somehow, when we tell our stories, we suppress those reactions to appear more professional. Don't do that. Show the reactions; relive the emotions. If the moment was joyful, let the joy come through in your expression and

in your tone. If the moment was sad, then don't be afraid to show that sadness. Show the reaction. Third technique: impersonate a character. Now, most stories involve more than one person, and dialogue, as you know, is a great way to make any story come alive. When you include a conversation in your story, try to impersonate the other character involved. For example, if you're sharing a conversation you had with your mom, then impersonate your mom while sharing the dialogue. Give your audience a sense of who she is, mimic her tone of voice, her posture, her body

language, and capture her personality. Example: In that moment, my mom said, "Phillip, why did you do that? You had one job, and that was to take care of the dog. You couldn't even do that." I know it may feel awkward at first to act out parts of your story, but trust me, doing so makes your story much more vivid and much more compelling. Give it a try. Lesson number 12: break expectations. Imagine you lived in the countryside, and every day you drove to work. Along the way, you see a bunch of fields with cows grazing.

"But you don't even recognize that you're just on autopilot. But on this one day, same route, you look to the left and you're like, 'Whoa, oh that's a pink cow! Crazy, a pink cow! I've never seen a pink cow in my life!' You arrive at work and you tell everyone about that pink cow. You remember that pink cow for the rest of your life. This is the essence of breaking expectations. We, as humans, are great at spotting patterns, but as soon as we think that something is predictable, we tune out. The moment your audience knows

where the story is going, they'll start thinking about other stuff; they won't be there with you. What should I watch tonight? Modern Family? The Office? Hmm. To capture their attention and to keep it, you want to share something that your audience didn't see coming. That can be an unusual activity, an unusual event, or an unusual reaction—anything that breaks that pattern of what is expected. Let me give you an example of a story that has a few major moments of surprise. Now, this story comes from clothing retailer Nordstrom and is used to show what the company

really stands for. In 1978, Craig Traun was working as a store associate at the Nordstrom in Fairbanks, Alaska. On this one day, Craig looked at the entrance and saw something super weird—there was this man rolling in a pair of tires into the store. Confused, Craig went up to the guy and asked, 'Uh, excuse me, sir, can I help you?' The guy said, 'Yeah, yeah, I wanted to return these tires.' Craig said, 'Uh, sir, you know that we're a clothing retailer; we don't sell any tires.' It turned out that he had bought the tires from the

previous tenant of that same building. Now, at first, Craig didn't know what to do with that guy. Should he just send that guy back? But then he decided to do what felt right. He called the local tire agency to get an estimate of the value of the tires. He then took in the tires and gave a refund. He gave a refund for a product that Nordstrom didn't even have! Now, that's what it means to put the customer first. Did you notice which moment of the story went in a different direction than you expected? There was

this one moment where this customer rolled a pair of tires into the store. That's weird, right? We don't see that that often. The second moment was when Craig decided to give a refund for a product that they didn't even have—also massively surprising. So try to incorporate a few unexpected elements, twists, and resolutions to make your story unforgettable. Lesson number 13: Turn up the heat. Imagine watching Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. Now, at the beginning of the show, the stakes are still quite low; the contestant can earn a few hundred dollars, but that's it. But

then, as the show progresses, the stakes get much higher. Each correct answer brings the contestant closer to that massive million-dollar prize. But to make it even harder, the time to respond goes down to 15 seconds. At one point, the host asks the contestant what they would do with all the money. The contestant responds and says, 'I'm going to buy my dad a house to take him off the street.' The audience now is dying to know if she'll secure this life-changing prize and make her dream a reality. Now that is a prime example of raising the

stakes. Raising the stakes means increasing what is at risk in your story. Share the big thing that the character can win or lose in that specific situation. Raising the stakes is like turning up the heat in your story; the higher the stakes, the more intense and engaging your story becomes. So how do you raise the stakes in your story? There are three simple ways. First, share the character's goals. Share what your main character wants to achieve—what are their hopes, their dreams, their plans? But hey, don't just share any shallow goals; share emotional goals. Share what

really matters to that character. Example: 'I wanted to finish that marathon to prove to myself that I can do anything in life—that I don't need to play it low anymore.' Second, show the impact on others. You can increase the stakes even more by showing how other people are affected by the hero's actions and what will happen to them if that hero succeeds or fails. Right? Example: 'I've got to get this job; if I don't get it, I won't have the money to send my daughter to college. She relies on me.' And third, introduce time pressure.

Now, you can make any story really more interesting by adding a deadline or a time limit to increase the urgency and to make it even juicier. Example: 'I had two hours to prepare this 30-slide presentation that would be presented to the board of directors.' Now, when you show what is at risk, your audience will care much more about the outcome, and they will become invested in your characters and also in the journey that they're on. But let's now go into a lesson that took me quite some time to find out. That lesson can actually make

or break any story. Lesson number 14: Show the change. During my MBA at Columbia University, I had this one friend who was a wonderful storyteller. Every single time we went out, he shared a story—a story about a time that he got super drunk, did something crazy or inappropriate. 'Man, I got so wasted that I passed out in the subway. It was legendary!' Just a few days ago, I thought of him, and I tried to remember some of his stories. To my surprise..." I couldn't remember a single one of them at first. I couldn't understand why

I didn't remember them, because they were entertaining. But then I realized why: because his stories didn't have any element of change. He was like, "Oh, I was that person before, did this crazy stuff, and I was that same person after—no change, no transformation, no growth, just the same old him." Change is the difference between a story that people forget and a story that sticks. To create a story that resonates, you need to show some sort of transformation. Think about it: in almost every movie or book you love, the main character undergoes some sort of change.

They start out in one way and end up completely different. Take the movie Avatar, for example. At the start, Jake is this disabled Marine who feels lost and wants meaning in life. But then he changes into this brave leader who loves and protects Pandora's nature. For your story, show some sort of change or transformation. If, for example, you were out of shape, well, now you're running a marathon. If you hated your sister, now you're best friends. Or if you were terrified of public speaking, well, now you love being on stage. Show the change! But hey,

so far we've only talked about the stuff to add to your story, so let's now go into a lesson that makes sure that whatever you say lands really well. Lesson number 15: keep it simple. For my book, The Story Selling Method, I wanted to understand what language the best storytellers use, and for that, I analyzed 97 stories. After listening to each one of the stories, I gave each story a score from 1 to 10—now, one being, "Ah, this is a terrible story," to 10, "Oh, I freaking love this story. This is so good!" After that,

I transcribed each one of the stories and put the transcript into a readability tool, and what I found blew my mind: the highest-rated stories could be understood by a fifth grader. That is someone that is 11 or maybe 12 years old. Great stories don't try to be too fancy or too intellectual; they focus on connecting to their audience. The simpler your language, the easier it is for your audience to connect to the story. Short and clear sentences stick; complex and too flowery sentences? Not so much. So how can you simplify your stories? First, break down

long sentences. Instead of having this one gigantic sentence, use two or three shorter ones. Before: "As I was walking down the street, feeling the brisk autumn air on my face, I couldn't help but contemplate about the time I spent in America, which was an unforgettable experience that truly shaped who I am today." After: "As I walked down the street, I felt this cool air on my face. It reminded me of my time in America, an experience that really changed me forever." Second, avoid jargon or fancy words. Now, try to use everyday language. Even if you

use stories in business, don't use too complicated words. I know we're constantly trying to look and sound smarter than we really are, but don't do that in your story. Use everyday language. Before: "We need to synergize our methodologies to achieve optimal efficiency." After: "We need to work together to get better results." Third, make it conversational. Share your story as if you're talking to your best friend. It doesn't matter if you're sharing a story with one person or on a stage in front of hundreds of people. Before: "On considering the extent of possibilities, I came to

the conclusion that the most efficacious route forward was to proceed with caution." After: "After thinking about it, I realized that the best thing to do was to take it slow." If you want to check whether your story is simple enough, just copy the text that you've written in your story and put it into a free readability tool. I'll actually include the link to my favorite readability tool in the description below. That software or that tool will tell you exactly what grade level your story is. What I suggest: aim for a grade level that can be

understood by a fifth grader, maybe a sixth grader, or maybe a seventh grader—not much more than that. Keep it simple and remember: simplicity is not about dumbing down your story; it's about making sure that your message is clear and accessible to really everyone. Lesson number 16: uncover forgotten stories. When I first began my storytelling journey, I sat down and tried to count how many stories I had. After two hours, I came up with six stories for my entire life, and I was proud. I thought, "Wow, Philip, well done! You're such a wonderful storyteller." Now I

realize that that number could be much higher. If you're around, let's say, 20 years old, you probably have hundreds of stories. If you're in your 30s or 40s, you will have thousands of stories that you could potentially use. And no, you don't need to have the craziest life for that. The reason you might not see these stories yet is either because you've forgotten about them or your memory doesn't save them as a story. We're about to change that! Think of yourself as an archaeologist, but instead of digging out these dinosaur bones, we're digging here for

past memories that could be turned into a story. The most effective way to uncover your hidden memories from the past is through a practice called stream of consciousness journaling. Now, how does it work? First, choose a prompt. Start by picking a prompt to help you spark your ideas and get your thoughts flowing. Prompts can be based on locations, themes like travel, sports, relationships, or specific experiences. Now, some examples could be the… Courageous leap, for example. These can be moments when you faced a major challenge and overcame it, or they can be special encounters. These could

be brief encounters you had with a stranger or an acquaintance that really left an impact on you, or reflections on a very memorable experience you had in nature—whether that was that challenging hike or a romantic day at the beach. You know what? I'll actually include my top 10 prompts in the description below so that you can get started straight away, but for now, I would say just pick one of them. Second, set a timer to avoid feeling overwhelmed. Start with a short time frame; set your timer for maybe like 5 minutes. That's about it. You

can then adjust that time frame the more comfortable you feel with that exercise. Third, start writing. Once you've set the timer, begin writing down any memories that come to your mind—anything related to that prompt. Now, the key here is to just keep writing. Don't stop, don't edit, don't second guess—just keep writing. Let your thoughts flow freely, even if they seem random, stupid, or all over the place. Stream of consciousness journaling is not about quality but about quantity. Don't worry if your ideas are all over the place, or if you think that this is silly—just keep

going. Four, identify potential stories. When the timer is up, look at your sheet and think, "Is there any memory or story that stands out? Anything that is particularly interesting, entertaining, or maybe emotional?" Well, that could be the seed for your next story. By practicing stream of consciousness journaling just a few times, you will uncover more and more of those meaningful moments from your past. These could then become the stories that you tell in casual conversations at work or even on stage. Trust me, you've got way more stories than you think; you just need to start

digging. Alright, on to the next lesson, which I think is already quite advanced: Lesson 17, avoid generic language. Have you ever noticed how some stories just come alive while others fall flat? One secret to making your storytelling more vivid and engaging is to use specific descriptive words instead of those generic ones. Now, imagine two scenarios. Scenario one: I was driving in my car down the highway. Now, what does that really tell us? How much, right? You know that I drive a car and that I use the highway—that's it. But you don't get a sense of

who I am as a person, right? Scenario two: I was driving 120 mph down the German Autobahn in my 10-year-old Toyota Prius. Now this tells you so much more! It gives you some indications that maybe I’m a risk taker. Driving so fast on the Autobahn shows you that I like the thrill or the adventure, or maybe also that I'm a little bit cheap. Driving this old Toyota Prius might indicate that maybe I don't have a lot of money, or perhaps I choose practicality over luxury. So it shows you much more about me as a character.

So how can you make your details pop? First, replace generic words. Generic: I was at a party. Specific: I was at this Halloween party surrounded by superheroes, with this DJ blasting 80s hits. Second, add unique details to the character. Generic: She was really smart. Specific: She was the kind of person who could solve the Rubik's Cube in just under a minute and could really explain quantum physics over coffee. Third, use metaphors. Generic: It was strong. Specific: That guy was strong as a bull, lifting those weights as if they were feathers. But when you replace that

generic text with more specific details, make sure that your sentences are not much longer and that you actually use them strategically, because if everything is just details, details, details, it can be overwhelming as well. But yeah, if you just sprinkle a few of those details into your story, it will transform that story. So most of the lessons focus on techniques to enhance your story, but there are a few lessons that will help you feel excited to deliver those stories and really tell them. Lesson 18: Memorize some key elements. When you're telling a story, the last

thing you want is to sound like a robot reciting lines word for word from memory. A story that is too rehearsed can often come off as too stiff and unnatural. But I guess at the same time, you also don't want to stumble through your story, searching for words—"Ah, what I want to say here?"—and getting lost. That's also not good, right? So how do you find the balance? Instead of memorizing your entire story word for word, focus on memorizing some key scenes—specifically, your start, middle, and end. First, memorize your start. Think of the best speeches or

stories that you've ever heard; they start with a bang. Whether it's an action, a question, or a cliffhanger, they start with a bang! The start of your story is like that spotlight that grabs everyone's attention. It sets the tone, piques curiosity, and gives your listeners a reason to keep paying attention. Now, as it's so crucial, I'd suggest memorizing the first few sentences of your story by heart. By knowing those opening lines really inside out, you can then launch into your story with full confidence. Second, memorize key moments. Now that we've got the opening down, let’s

talk about the middle—the heart of your story. This is where memorizing every single word is not really necessary. Instead, what you want to do... Is memorizing the key moments or scenes of your story? Think of the moments like the main building blocks. Those are the places where the action takes place—maybe the decisions that are made or the emotions that were felt. Each moment is like a snapshot, a clear mental image of that place or that moment where something important takes place. For example, one moment could be that you're in front of your manager's door, and

you're knocking at the door. Another moment could be you're in the office, and your manager is telling you about this unexpected project. Then a third moment could be in the elevator, crying. By memorizing or visualizing those scenes, you'll naturally remember what happens in each part of the story. Three: memorize your end. I know people usually don't really like to think about the end of their story; they spend their entire time on the opening or the body. That's a missed opportunity. The end will be the last impression that people have of your story. This is where

you drive your takeaway. This is where you give your audience something to reflect upon. That's why I suggest you memorize the end or closing of your story. Really, do it by heart. That’s what people will remember. So, use the beginning, the main moments, and the end to memorize your story. That way it will feel alive, natural, and real. All right, the next lesson—this one is a crazy hack. I wish I had discovered it much earlier. Lesson number 19: rehearse with a tutor. Practicing your stories a couple of times, two to three times, is usually enough

to get comfortable. But once you feel comfortable, it's then important to share that story with someone else to get feedback. At first, I asked my friends and family if they could listen to my stories. This worked well for some time, but after asking my best friend for, like, the seventh time, I started to feel a little bit awkward. I felt like he'd probably do something else than listen to my stories every single week. So, I started looking for a storytelling coach. But that’s really when I hit the wall. Good storytelling coaches? They're expensive—like, really expensive.

A decent one costs at least $200 an hour, and excellent ones can charge thousands. But that's when I discovered something that completely transformed my storytelling journey: I hired an English language tutor. But hold on—there’s a twist! I didn’t use that tutor for English lessons; I used them to practice storytelling. There are these language platforms like Preply or Italki where you can find private English tutors for as little as $3 an hour. In these one-hour sessions, I then share two to three stories with their tutor, and I ask them for feedback. Now, it doesn’t really matter

that they’re not professional storytelling coaches. It doesn’t matter; they can still tell me how they like the story, whether they got bored somewhere, and how the story made them feel. After sharing a few stories, I use the remaining time to improvise a few stories on the spot. Now, this is really a crazy hack that has helped me make the biggest leap as a storyteller. All right, are you ready for the last lesson of this video? Can I get a drum roll please? The last lesson: commit to a big goal. I owe much of my success

to a simple mantra: "commit now, figure it out later." Let me share how I discovered this approach. In November 2021, I had this crazy idea—I wanted to try out to do stand-up comedy. Back then, I'd never read a book on comedy or taken any course, but I didn’t let that stop me. I searched for open mic nights here in Amsterdam, found one, and signed up to be a comedian. Just to be clear, I knew nothing about comedy, but I thought, “I'll figure it out.” Fast forward three weeks, I’m standing in front of 180 people delivering

my first-ever stand-up comedy routine. It was hands down the most difficult moment—most terrifying moment—of my entire life. My legs were just shaking uncontrollably the entire time. I wish I could say that I absolutely crushed it, but no, that just wouldn’t be true. I wasn’t terrible, but I definitely wasn’t amazing either. But actually, that didn’t matter. What really mattered is how much I learned. Those three weeks of preparation taught me more about comedy than a year of passive learning. The key is this: the biggest growth happens when you go after something that seems far beyond your

current abilities. Now, what I did in comedy, you can do with storytelling. Most major cities today have storytelling open mic nights. In the U.S., The Moth and Risk! are two of the most well-known storytelling open mic nights. Go to their website, submit an application to tell a story, and then figure out the rest later. Or, I guess if there aren’t any storytelling nights in your city, well, ask your manager or your boss if you can share a story in your next team meeting. Or if that’s not an option, ask a friend or a family member

if you can tell a story at the next celebration. Yes, it will feel terrifying, and yes, you might not be ready, but the minute you commit to that date, you'll do whatever it takes to nail the story and mostly avoid that embarrassing situation. And even if you mess up, well, that by itself would be a wonderful learning experience and also a great story that you can tell in the future. That's it! Those are my 20 lessons from five years of storytelling. Actually, let me know in the comments which lesson was your favorite. Today we went

deep into storytelling! You speak in front of friends when you give a presentation, or oftentimes when you record a video. There are also a few other public speaking techniques that you need to master, and for that, you may want to check out this next video, in which I'll give you some of my favorite public speaking techniques. Enjoy! [Music]