my guest tonight's a comedian and co-creator of netflix's f is for family he uh also of course plays migs mayfield in the mandalorian please welcome our really good friend bill burr bill how are you what's going on oh thank you thank you all seven of you and the four kevin harts yeah is he in the black section of the crowd yeah it seems like they've moved up to the middle progress i like it it's it's so nice to have you here you're one of my all-time favorite guests uh always entertaining uh we've had such a
good time together over the years you know we really have yeah it sucks that you're renting this we're ending this version of it i'll come back with a cooking show or something what are you doing are you going to be on what hbo max are you allowed to say that on this network are they going to get upset no no they're cool with it i think they're all aren't they all the same thing they're all in bed together everybody i mean everybody's owned by one company now we're all working for exxon so yeah while working
for exxon and they have a very low budget exactly they don't have a lot of money that reminds me back in the day when i used to do like chappelle show yeah that was like viacom and that was the funniest thing ever they'd always be like we don't have a lot of money so you'd like book a part they'd be like yeah you're playing a swat guy do you have any combat boots and you'd be like yeah no i don't any of your friends do your friends and they're viacom but it was just like this
isn't my job my job's to book the part so we would just give the ladies down there going hey you play you're playing a a blacksmith you got an anvil any of your friends do you know can you get one let's lug it over here it's like no i'm not doing that i don't know that's always been uh yeah i've been paid a lot in exposure throughout the years this is great exposure i'm just gonna trash everything i've ever done i love the 80s strikes back that was this great exposure it's great exposure they wouldn't
we had to fight them to give us cab fare granted it wasn't the highest art bill what would you do for a klondike bar well i'll tell you remind me back in the day i worked in a restaurant in north carolina that was slowly going out of business and at one point i was the best boy slowly slowly always it was a slow bad day they put a five-star restaurant in the middle of this stupid strip mall it was doomed from the beginning so um not to mention it was sort of the 80s so a
lot of people were you know they were ready to work we'll put it that way yeah um amped up um i was the busboy i was the grill chef kicked on a mesquite grill and the dishwasher all at the same time i remember those thinking about it this morning this is that irish thing where you never let go yeah i came running in the back i taken off my chef half i ran out and i bust the tables i came in the back and i said hey we're out of glasses and this guy who was
on work release from prison he goes well why don't you wash some and he goes ah a novel idea i remember he said like he was this well-read guy this one is on he was in jail so i was scared so i was like okay and then i just washed them and probably burned the shrimp brochettes that's a tragic story you know i'm going to say something bill i'm going to say despite that rant you just had where you got your your temperature got up a little bit your heart rate raised a little bit you
do seem calmer to me we were chatting a little bit when you got here seems like you've calmed down i know you had your second child recently fatherhood coming down um fatherhood made me have to figure myself out because i didn't want my kids to go through you know some of the stuff that i went through not saying it was all bad but some of the stuff that i went through so um i just kept trying and failing with the temper and i ended up taking mushrooms you took mushrooms to help you with your temper
no i was sh no i didn't do that it inadvertently helped me i just took it cause i was like all right i'm gonna be 53 i've never tripped like am i gonna miss out on that i'll do it once i'm in the desert that's what you're supposed to do right so i did it and you know i didn't do a lot of it so i i sort of mini trip you know what i mean like the tv looked like it was gonna you know get bigger and fall on me right sink looked like it
was breathing or whatever right um but then after that i was sort of left with this uh profound sense of loneliness and not feeling loved right so i'm literally laying there going what the hell is this i love my wife and i love my kids and i figured it out i go oh this is how i felt growing up i get it and then i i was like i need i've been running from this this feeling that's why hey i might do stand-up i fly helicopters am i cool do you like me and i i
just like the pandemic really just not having anything to do right just slowed everything down and then all of that smoke just kind of came back and i was trying just you know organizing my office and i couldn't stay in front of it so i was kind of like all right i need to sit and figure out what this is so it's kind of funny i ran from it for 30 years and in three months i've i kind of figured it all out put like all the pieces together so um it's funny now i haven't
like flipped out or yelled in my house and uh and but now i'm going up i still have that need to be liked so now i'm like going up to my wife like you know i haven't yelled in a while have you noticed yeah am i a swell guy do you like me so i still have that crushing need to be liked but uh i'm not like flipping out yeah i feel great i feel like light and all of that and uh it's nice and i'm not worried about the whole oh if you get happy
you're not going to be funny it's like no maybe i could have a new like empathetic you know way of going at while still you know i will still forever rip apart inconsiderate people who i deem in my own dictator world as inconsiderate people right right i had a murderous thought and target with this self-involved woman who's just shooting this with like the person that's registered the six people behind you just do the transaction and get out of there and like all the stories were self-serving and about herself and i just felt it yeah i
just felt it coming up you know we got a tropical storm developing you know just so you feel even though you're enlightened now and you've found peace you're so enlightened i'm not i i've figured out that i i why i'm up but i'm not enlightened okay i'm still a don't you dare compliment me conan okay in that chair what about i mean there's a lot of people uh that are upset about a lot of things these days um you know people are arguing about whether they should get vaccinated or not have you gotten vaccinated yeah
yeah i'm up for it too i i'm like you know if they like dick trying to kill me which doesn't that conspiracy i love a conspiracy it doesn't make any sense you don't think the anti-vaxx conspiracy lines up that they're that they're gonna that they're secretly trying to kill each ot all of us for for population control no because what they would do would they would be killing all what they call the sheeple so all the people can be like all the people that go what are we supposed to do okay they're going to kill
us right and then just be left with all the fonzies with their leather jackets who don't want who are too cool to listen to people like they got a nightmare who's gonna who's gonna dig their ditches for him yes it just doesn't make i mean if you wanna say that they're gonna come up with something to thin the herd i will go with that but they would never do a pointed attack on people that are gonna do whatever they say yes yes they're eliminating the wrong group if this is the plan so maybe they vaxxed
us sheeple so then they can have a second vacci of uh covid thing come out to kill all the cool people that hit a jukebox and it turns on [Laughter] so anyone who's anti-vaxx is a fonzie that's what you're they're just all false look at me we have a couple of ron howard sitting here right sure yeah i look like i'm at a younger age i look at it like i'm now and i like to think i'm the oscar-winning director ron howard you're still ron figuring himself i'm still i'm towards the end of the happy
days run i might direct the movie right around when he started dating laurie beth sorry that was a deep cut yeah uh okay so the problem is in our culture now if you have a weird belief you can find a source that caters to that belief and you don't have to read anything else because the internet called the internet yeah that's why i don't listen to anybody's theories anymore unless i just go did you get this information at the library yeah okay if you got it at the library i'll listen to it because the library
has the decency to break up information between non-fiction and fiction meaning this happened and this is just some people made up you go on the internet everything is presented as as non-fiction and then that's why dude in my lifetime for the i'd say for the first 47 years that nobody thought the earth was flat right and in the last five years all of a sudden people you know are coming out telling me there's an ice wall that you can go look at like there's these ice walls like we're basically in this giant bowl of i
don't know cereal or something yeah but then once again i'm like all right i'll go with that but like what is the upside to telling me a sheeple ron howard right that the world is flat as round if thing when it's really flat yeah yeah what is the upside of doing that right why trick us why deceive us yeah what what do you get out of doing that and they can't seem to answer it i go what you need to do is get a pilot's license and go for your instrument rating and then when you
see vor signals and realize one of the things that blocks it is the curvature of the earth you'll stop trying to rent a boat to go look at the you know people are flipping out about masks and on both sides like they're people that say uh you know i shouldn't have to wear a mask i don't want to wear a mask i don't buy it and then there are people that um i love those people what yeah you like the people that flip out yeah don't wear it yeah don't wear it go kill yourself that's
awesome cause i have to be honest with you i know a lot of people died from covid but i'm starting to see the traffic come back and uh i selfishly thought i wish it killed a few more i'm being honest god it's an honest selfish thought god that i had so just specific commuters we've got to be clear here people that i don't know or love that i would never miss it's it's 100 selfish okay you just want to know what's funny is when i looked out there all the real people were like this and
all the cardboard people were still so i think overall i think it made sense yeah kevin hart agreed with that one yeah all four of them no three of them went for it one of them just covered his face didn't want any part of it um what do you make of this uh bill and melinda gates divorce you following that that's a crazy story no i haven't but i know if i say that she's going to get a ridiculous amount of money that she didn't earned i'm going to be labeled a misogynist of course she's
going to get a ridiculous amount of money yeah well yeah what do you mean why she's been a partner uh stop it what stop it stop what just stop with this that like dr dre's wife hanging out with them and that's why he came up with the headphones like i don't understand like what do you talk to your wife about are you sitting there going over plans and blueprints you're not it's all like you know you've been working a lot lately yeah which isn't even supportive wait a minute hey i am i am liberal when
it comes to this cause when britney spears got divorced from that backup dancer i he should have got a tracksuit and a laptop okay those were all her songs and i'm gonna say no but he supported her but this has nothing to do then what you're saying is this has nothing to do what i love about bill oh you know what i love about bill gates i love that he has so much money that even if she cuts him in half he's still got 15 million 15 billion yeah yeah yeah so he's still there yeah
he can enter that second part of his life you know maybe wear an open shirt get the convertible to track something like you know get a third of his age get like an 88 christ little baron no no get the ferrari california you know the gt right you get the gt with the top down you know yeah yeah yeah and go attract some gold digger that's gonna like you know build up your ego do that for a while do you think that's what he's gonna do you think he's gonna start i think if you buy
that car that's what it comes to you like there's a danger to buying that car that big yell they see that big yellow prancing pony and they just come out they come up out of the manhole covers all these gold diggers like a zombie movie you make a lot of money you got to be you can't buy a car like that it is a that is a gold digger magnet and they are so good at it they can look and tell if it's rented or not they know where to look for the sticker i'm just
saying predator behavior goes both ways but this sort of predator behavior does not fit the narrative i see i see yeah okay okay uh of all those those white people branding themselves as good people rather than just trying to make money off the suffering of others who just all of these people were sitting there acting like that like they're not like everybody is up in the head if you really listen to your inner monologue i thought that stuck in traffic i actually had the thought uncontrolled selfish moment i wish covid killed more people so i
could get to the comedy store quicker jeez i thought i know it's a wrong thought right but you're admitting that you had that i've wanted to kill and kill again but i don't do it i don't do it either that's the difference between being on the outside so you think [Laughter] you know a buddy of mine told me he watched this documentary on uh the son of sam and he was saying like dude you gotta see it he didn't kill all those people he had help and i was like dude i'm not watching this documentary
he goes nah they proved it i go they did he goes yeah yeah they proved it i go how did they prove it they go well they went in they asked david berkowitz they asked him they go did you kill this guy he's like yes did you kill this guy he's like yes did you kill this guy he goes no he said no i go oh you mean the guy who was talking to a dog that guy that guy said that's your proof i don't know not everything this is why i like this sweater yeah
because it just lets people know that i'm this curmudgeon i'm really steering in i'm going the opposite of what i'm supposed to be doing right now i'm supposed to be doing hgh get that hulk face going right right get some uh hair plugs yeah and uh what else is what's the last thing what's the trifecta of of of that oh the botox oh yeah you got to get botox you got to go botox you got to do the hair plugs and then you do the hgh and then your organs grow so you still kind of
look fat but you're going the other way this is so much cheaper you're wearing a sweater no cause those people need a sidekick right they need the side kick in the movie that looks like this right all right so i'm gonna fill that void but you are you're in the mandalorian that's a huge deal for you for anybody that was a huge you're in the thing that's the one show that everybody watched during kovid i have to question you about this because you used to make fun of star wars you would go out of your
way to make fun of star wars yes you did no i didn't i only did it when it came out and i saw a long line of people looking like they were going to enjoy themselves and i did my comedy job was i made fun of them and i tried to make them feel stupid i do that all the time that is the job of a comedian so it had nothing to do with star wars it made fun of steve jobs when he died and all the nerds that loved his little big little big little
that he did on computers yeah i made fun of it yeah so what you do is when you see people enjoying themselves or filled with any kind of glee anticipation of a wonderful day what do you like to do you like to take that away i come in in my x-win fighter to get into your world and i i i i say my world i don't watch that seemed like you took it a little personal i did not i like the original lost in space you know that's what was my thing with oh i loved
it he just couldn't he couldn't hold his composure no who knew just like anything that was happening but i loved when wasn't happening he would he could be sit in the calmness of being lost in space with the spaceship that did the spaceship work yeah it worked they would go from planet to planet but they were lost but i'm talking about island in space the 1960s lost in space they had this ridiculous uh character dr smith who said you bubble-headed booby and uh he would yell at the robot all the time and every episode he
would take the kids and try to sell them to aliens so that they could be taken off to an intergalactic zoo the parents would foil it at the last second literally try and take their children from him and his punishment at the end would be like no blueberry pie for you dr smith and he'd go he tried to kill your children it was an abuse he didn't he tried to leave him behind uh yeah yeah awful guy no one's gonna care about this part check it out 60 is lost in space it's just absolutely fascinating
it's an abusive relationship right he's lonely he didn't have a partner out there no no his partner was a robot maybe he felt like if he got rid of some of the stuff that these people loved that he had a shot at luff that's a very good read on it i'm just saying think he has compassion for dr smith but not for anybody else yeah star wars you dr smith child killer maybe you should think of it from this time yeah it's you know you're all over the map you're all over the map you know
i don't think i am i think i'm right on it but that's but congratulations that's how human beings are everything i'm saying totally makes sense to me right i mean if you could if you could hear the applause between my ear right now yes now listen i no i know i'm an idiot i know i'm an idiot uh yeah and i should have read a lot more in life and i didn't there's there's still time now touring touring's a huge part of your life crowds laughter when are you going to get back to it is
it starting to open up now right are you going to get do some uh indoor shows soon yes uh actually the comedy store is open now limited capacity and i have to tell you after a year of doing shows outside and dealing with everything from mosquitoes to helicopters to doing shows near like highways and stuff to actually be inside and there's no distraction i went on stage i felt like i was on steroids it was so it was so easy like i built back up my hellroom muscles that i used to have when when you
first start out as a comedian you basically do stand up wherever they would let you like i went to a long time ago me and this buddy of mine rick delia did a show at the uh the fisherman's feast in the north end in uh in in boston and we were so excited that nick's comedy stop called us like one of the main clubs and we were like oh my god we're in we're in and it was like an afternoon gig he was standing in the streets after like there's a band playing like whoa and
all these italian women like hanging out the windows like i felt like i was in like the pope of greenwich village or something and we had to go on up after that and just absolutely just bomb like that's like the whole first eight years of your career is like every third gig is as bad as that so after you make it and you start selling tickets you actually get worse you're not as good because people you rather than having to get them they're there's they're like yours to lose yep and i kind of built that
stuff back up again so i don't know how long that'll last but um i feel like it's gonna be an ex first of all like a renaissance i mean i could be i know it's not in either of our nature to be optimistic but i keep thinking people have been so many performers have been put on ice for so long yeah that there's all this pent up frustration observations anger and it's all going to come out in the arts in some great way yeah i'm hoping it's going to be a uh a positive thing i
don't know i just wish they'd get rid of cnn and fox news and the ability to leave a comment on the internet and i think if they just did that everybody would kind of relax a little bit more and it could be more sort of uh you know you're on this side of it i'm on that side and sort of give each other and then enjoy each other's points more so than uh you know all the capital letters that people type in and yeah um because i am all over the map though i get like
during uh i get that i'm a trumpster i get that i'm a socialist i mean it's literally all over the map but you make both sides angry i guess that's what i do i never looked at it that way yeah it's a beautiful thing all right no one's happy when you're talking i think that's going to be my wife's new ringtone that's going to be your new ringtone all right uh you can see bill in theaters across the country this summer and fall on big bur sorry you can see bill you can see bill in
theaters across the country this summer and fall on bill burr the tour when i later have a degenerative disease they'll say that was when they knew that i mispronounced that right you get worried that it's already coming on i do i do too yeah whenever i mispronounce something i think oh that's when it begins this is now now i was seeing movies and like a week later i can't remember what happened it's kind of cool because i can watch them again i've always wanted a place that will give me an operation that destroys the part
of my brain that's seen godfather one and two so i can see it again from them again for the first time yeah that'd be cool come back again no you looked horrified which is appropriate can you imagine if i had a big scar right here and i was running a fever all the time and you said what happened i went i had a part of my brain that i've seen godfather one and two destroyed but it also attaches to my my speech center well no i would when my brain went it was like well there's
drugs you can take that will destroy that part of your brain and everything becomes new again but i don't know if you under even understand the context of it i've been watching a bunch of uh and listening to a bunch of movie uh music from the 70s and movies from the 70s just simply because that's when i was a kid and i feel like that's before uh whatever happened to me happened to me and uh and so i go back there not like that was the greatest time i came over i came over listening to
the dirty harry soundtrack yeah it's wild you feel like you're gonna go solve a case there's some then there's this weird woman's voice going like this weird sort of drugged-out thing i know exactly that i know that i know that soundtrack well yeah yeah so i uh by the way one of the most uh fun things i've done uh just you know the last couple of years was you called me up when you were playing the forum and yeah you said come on down i have a drum kit and i'm with some musicians and you
before i do my show at the forum we get to screw around in this amazing space so i came down you said bring your guitar and we had a blast you're a great drummer it was really fun oh yeah thank you that was great that was really fun comedian but i i uh yeah we had uh dean del rey michael devon i'm trying to remember the people we had a mix of comedians yeah failed musician comedians yeah and like real deal uh guys like michael plays uh with everybody playing like white snake and all that
stuff before all this crap he could play everything yeah it was great yeah yeah so there's a clip i wish i could if i could find it on one of my phones we did uh van halen ain't talking about love and there was some guy who had like the van halen like tribute guitar and he you know was crushing the solo you came down would you play van morrison it was such a great time i think i played van morrison yeah we ended up playing for like almost it felt like three hours and i had
such a good time and then when i stood up i had no energy left and i was like oh my god did i just blow it you got to do this yeah now i have to do the show but fortunately the the fear of screwing that up becomes like adrenaline yeah and i was able to go out there um and uh yeah i forget what that sounds like even having like a crowd so right we'll get back to it yeah hopefully yeah all right let me make sure i get this all right you can see
bill in theaters across the country this summer and fall on bill burr the tour for full tour dates visit billburr.com and the mandalorian of course available on disney plus massive conglomerate no one here is getting that money bill burr that's great thank you
