welcome back to the Royal Wii today we're going to talk about the most crucial aspect of dealing with narcissistic people and that is setting your boundaries but not just any boundaries unspoken boundaries you see when all other boundaries fail against narcissistic people unspoken boundaries boundaries that are created by the way in which you live your life I promise you they won't fail let's get into this my name is Kevin and this is the Royal Wii [Music] now before I do continue with this very important message about setting unspoken boundaries with narcissistic people I want to
let you know that I'm here to support you down in the description box you find access for one-on-one appointments with me so if you are struggling to set appropriate boundaries and you're curious to know how you can set boundaries without saying a word head on down there schedule oneone time with me right now in addition to that don't forget I have the Royal we private membership where you can have daily access to interact with me along with daily support there's Fellowship once a week and you have the opportunity to connect with people around the world
if this sounds good to you head on down there get signed up right now to join the private membership now let's get into this very important topic of how to set unspoken boundaries by the way in which you live your life let me just say this right off the bat I don't believe boundaries should be spoken to narcissistic people ever why because to a narcissistic person your spoken boundaries are nothing more than a challenge for them to overcome not limits that they have to respect think about this for just a moment here when you explicitly
tell a narcissistic person what your boundaries are they manage to turn it into a game they see it as a challenge something for them to overcome it actually excites them the more you say don't do this well they're going to do just that thing or even if they seem like they're listen listening to you they're going to try another way to poke at you it's like dealing with a little kid who's constantly saying something and pushing something and making these comments and you're like stop doing that and so they do it again stop doing that
they do it again like it's exciting for them to see how far they can push your limits this is what narcissistically abusive people do they're like little kids they're like babies they're unevolved conscious won't allow them to truly respect your B boundaries that you're setting as a matter of fact it's the opposite they get excited by the boundaries that you speak out they get excited because you have given them ammunition you've given them the exact thing that they need to do to push your buttons this is why spoken boundaries often times fail a perfect example
of this when I was dealing with narcissistically abusive in-laws because of the mother of my kids I would do the best I could to say stop calling me names stop cussing me out I don't want to be around it I don't want my family around it I don't want my kids to be around it and they instead of looking at it with respect like okay we get it Kevin has a limit and he's trying to protect his kids no no no no no they laughed it off they thought it was hilarious they even started to
go to social media mocking me joking around oh mean family we make fun of each other with mean language hahah and then they took the route of oh you're just too sensitive oh this oh making it a big game and do you really think that me speaking out those boundaries stop calling me names stop cuss do you think it did anything no what I wasn't aware of is I was only feeding into them what excited them that they can use in their own way to manipulate me you see that's the narcissistic person's game that's their
big game in life they Thrive off of people just like you just like me explaining and saying what our boundaries are they Thrive off of that it gives them permission it gives them that green light to say yes let's see what I can do I know it's sick but this is what you're dealing with so again when boundaries that you speak fail here's what you got to know and this is is what you should be doing instead of trying to speak your boundaries which narcissistically abusive people can Thrive off of let's try living our boundaries
instead why because actions speak louder than words always and when you begin to live your life in an authentic way that speaks what your boundaries are for you without saying a word narcissistic people cannot touch you they see and they observe as you walk in the room as you disappear from the room as you show up as you refuse to show up they see what you tolerate and what you won't tolerate and you don't have to say anything this ultimately puts narcissistically abusive people right where they need to be in a place where they can't
get to you I discovered this when I was dealing with those toxic in-laws you see the more I engage with those people trying to tell them what my boundaries were stop calling me names stop cussing me out it didn't work why because my actions and my body were still present with them so I was putting myself in a place that went against my values and my principles while trying to tell them how to treat me do you see the failure in this with my mouth I was speaking don't call me names don't cuss me out
stop being rude however with my body language and with my actions I was still present with them not very effective it's no wonder they were mocking my boundaries it wasn't until I distanced myself I shut up I stopped saying to them what my boundaries were which made them laugh and mock I just distanced myself I took my family my kids and said peace out yo that spoke louder than anything it no longer gave them anything to laugh about they no longer had something to mock I wasn't even there my unspoken boundaries created a wall a
division between me and them they heard that they still hear it to this day I often say to my clients that narcissistic abuse is the result of being with people you have no business being with doing things you have no business doing and going places you have no business going if you can wrap your mind around this concept you'll understand what it is to live a life of boundaries instead of just speaking them out you see it's important to understand something narcissistic people are drawn to those they can manipulate they're drawn to a challenge they're
drawn to people who only speak about boundaries but don't show it when you live your life in in a way that honors your integrity honors your value system and you live a life that stays away from people and places and things that don't resonate with you you automatically repel all narcissistic people you repel things that go against your values you repel things that go against your principles you don't even give them a chance this is why it's so important to live according to your boundaries to walk your life according to your boundaries so listen this
approach that I'm talking about is going to require a deep commitment to yourself it's going to require a deep commitment to your values a deep unwavering commitment to your principles and it's not going to be easy we live in a world full of people that want to tear you from one side to the other they want to get you to believe that your values are wrong your principles are wrong you're mean you're not being Christian you're being rude you're isolating you're cutting PE don't listen to it stay committed to your values your integrity to your
purpose and I promise you the right people will find you because they'll be on the same path they'll share in your values they will share in your integrity they will share in your purpose the only people who are going to be upset at your distance are narcissists the only people that are going to be upset and disappointed by you living a life of walking out your boundaries are going to be the people who want to control you who want to manipulate you but who no longer can this may include your narcissistic mom your narcissistic father
your narcissistic in-laws your narcissistic ex but you can't live your life worried about them you have to deepen your commitment to yourself first forgive those people they don't care about you anyways not the way in which you think youve got to care about yourself first this is why you have to grab on to your values your principles you need to be the one to connect with them to deepen your life with them and to authentically live your life walking out of this place of Integrity I promise you again the right people will come along your
true family your chosen family will find you so long as you commit to your authenticity commit to your value system commit to your principles and distance yourself and stay away which is creating boundaries from manipulative users and abusers and listen all it takes in order to live your life of boundaries is three simple tools I want you to remember right now Integrity focus and authenticity everybody say this with me Integrity focus and authenticity Integrity commit to your values commit to your principles commit to what helps you live a life of joy and peace focus focus
on your path focus on your job focus on what's important to you and authenticity don't go into places where you don't belong don't be doing things you have no business doing don't be with people you have no business being with these three tools and committing to this practice sets the only boundaries that you will need in life it's the final establishment of boundaries that will protect you I promise you that listen I know that this message Cuts deep for a lot of you it's a mind shift if you will when it comes to boundaries with
narcissism people and this is okay if you have any questions about this discussion head on down there and schedule some time with me this is why I'm available to support you again I take telephone calls and video calls through Zoom FaceTime and WhatsApp simply go down to the description box and schedule some one-onone time with me if you would like daily support consider becoming one of the royal Wei private members this allows you to have communication with me on a daily basis plus daily support plus a workout program plus access to to other community members
plus I could go on and on and on why don't you just head on down there to the description box and find out for yourself follow me on Instagram at join the Royal Wii and I'll be back with more videos for you right here on the Royal Wii if you're brand new to the channel hit the Subscribe button because this message only gets shared by those of you who subscribe all right like this video be sure to hit the Bell notification so you don't miss any future royalty content and watch one of these videos recommended
by the YouTube algorithm right there or right there interestingly enough the algorithm is pretty smart it's figured you out and what it is that you need that's going to help you on your healing Journey so give one of these videos a chance bye
