in the name of the father and of the son and of the Holy Spirit I was speaking um with one of my spiritual Sons about ideas about videos and he said what about consistent themes that you hear in confession is there something that you hear that happens in confession that you would say pertains to a lot of people uh things that people are struggling with etc etc and I and I realize everyone's confessing very similar things I mean you have the seven deadly sins and all the variations on that so a lot of confession is
is I would actually say shaped more by the person or the the gender male or female who's giving the confession rather than it is by any particular sins that are kind of dominant everyone struggles with the same things a lot of times the confession it's how they express it which led me to share with him this point what I'm finding or seeing a lot in confession is that a lot of times it's the men that are under 30 uh over the last few years that I find they actually have very feminine thought processes this is
both what I've experienced in confession and talking with younger men and hearing the way that they think about things now the holy fathers tell us don't trust our own thoughts so it's important that we reveal our thoughts but in the process of people revealing their thoughts and talking about it you realize wow there is a very strong feminine uh way of thinking that I think is actually kind of uh uh been adopted by this younger generation of men now as I spoke about in a previous video there's nothing wrong with the way that women think
women see life through a kaleidoscope of information mental emotional interpersonal they have great insights they just need it balanced with a husband or spiritual father they can help them navigate through the pitfalls and find the right conclusion likewise in a marriage a husband desperately needs the insights from his wife because his wife is going to have very important key insights into the emotional framework the personality traits of the children how they need to be communicated to you know so the husband and the wife in these two different ways of thinking are completely complimentary there's nothing
deficient in uh women's thinking versus men's thinking right both of them have deficiencies what I mean is there's a certain way that women process information that is really unique to them but I'm finding I see it a lot more today in young men what are those things well number one the tendency to focus on too many possibilities women often suffer from uh paralysis by analysis they see so many possibilities of what could happen that they often are unable to navigate through what are less likely scenarios or less beneficial scenarios and more beneficial scenarios they tend
to see a kind of Kaleidoscope of information I see this with men they start to be unable to kind of differentiate what is valuable information and what is invaluable information and they begin to kind of take it in almost like a computer where they're just taking an overload of information that they don't know what to do with or even how to process it number two women tend to look for perfect answers most women I've encountered are perfectionists that's it seems to be something kind of uh almost inevitable with women maybe this is North American women
in particular but they love the idea of making the perfect decision again perfect decisions don't exist right we make the best possible decisions with the limited amount of information that we have and then we move forward so that's number two number three they make their decisions based on the fear of failure instead of the risk of reward uh what is a frequent example of this women tend to marry men that are safe they tend to marry men that are safe because men that are safe don't challenge them and when they do that they often times
come back after afterwards and have feelings of regret about who they married because the person is safe and consistent but doesn't challenge them doesn't exhibit uh much manly characteristics uh it isn't very adventurous and ultimately a lot of times women find these men very boring after a couple of years what they once thought was safe has then become uh boring uh men tend to make decisions based on the risk to reward this is why we have a history of men going to war sailing the Seas uh exploring North America doing all of these things because
men think about the reward and the possibility of what could happen rather than the fear of failing what I'm seeing with young men today is that there's a type of neuroticism in their thinking where they second guess themselves all the time they see so many possibilities they're afraid of failing they don't think of uh the risk to reward ratio they kind of act in a more uh timid way about life they're not going after it they're not trying to conquer life instead they often times feel that they are being conquered by life and so when
I see this and when I talk to men and they begin to reveal these thoughts and these patterns of thinking there's a couple things that I know are kind of feeding into this number one life is not a simulation life life is not a video game life is happening in real time and there's no pauses or doovers this means that you are going to make Perpetual you know decisions that are not the best why because we have that saying hindsight is 2020 you're constantly making decisions based on limited information the reality is is that when
you build confidence you build confidence based on failure the most confident people are the people who have failed the most not the people who've been the most successful the people who have failed the most have learned from their mistakes the decisions the things that they would do different and they continue to build on them that's one of the Hallmarks of being a man is overcoming adversity and being okay with looking bad with being a failure with falling short you often see this with entrepreneurs and they'll say oh you know I had four business businesses go
bankrupt uh I had you know 15 great ideas but I you know I didn't make any money until the 16th and so it is that you often find that this kind of Daring this fight that has to take place for success and for confidence is a very manly attribute but it's based on failure and so if somebody meets a man who's very confident and you hear their story I guarantee you there story contains lots of failures lots of missteps lots of things that they would do different but in the face of adversity they' learned to
overcome it and that's what built their confidence because if you think that life is like dominoes and everything's going to fall in your favor and everything's going to work out you're not going to make it very far that is not the nature of life and of existence number two men make decisions today that tell them one thing that is in congruent with their mind what do I mean by that men often look at internet uh uh videos of other men being intimate with women that they cannot get so two major problems number one is they're
looking at another man's genitalia this is bizarre and and every man I think knows that this is weird to do that number two men are looking at women that they can't get and so the illusion of the internet content is that you're a winner and yet every man who comes to me when they've committed these sin says I feel like a failure so if you make decisions that enforce the fact that you're a loser that you're a failure that you're looking at other men that you can't get women guess what this is going to severely
undermine your ability to see yourself as the protagonist in the story of your life making decisions conquering foes and overcoming adversity what you're going to be constantly putting in your mind is I am a loser I am pathetic if you constantly feed yourself with the thought that you are a loser that you're pathetic and that you're doing things that you don't want to do you are never going to have the confidence as of a man to make decisions and move forward and trust in God that's number three in an Earthly relationship it is totally necessary
for me as a father with my 10-year-old son to get him up in the morning tell him to brush his teeth make his bed do clean up his room wash his face brush his teeth do his prayers that is completely normal okay if he is 20 years old and I am calling him up in the morning and saying son you've got to get out of bed you've got to do your prayers you've got to brush your teeth that is pathetic okay we have a relationship with God the Father where he is our father and he
expects us to act like men he has a secret hidden will we call it the will of God it is hidden from us we are not going to figure it out we are not going to shake a magical jar all the people who go oh I prayed and I felt like God was telling me is nonsense when people talk like that they always say that God agrees with whatever their inclination is it's like God never tells them to do do anything they don't want to do it's nonsense be a mature adult man means living in
a relationship with God where you trust in his secret holy will and you constantly are praying for him to bless you and to bless your life that is what you're asking for but as far as decision making goes he expects you to be an adult man when my son is 25 years old and he says Dad what should I do I can say listen son here is my wisdom this is what I think but ultimately he's got to make the decisions he's got to figure it out he's I'm not going to tell him every time
oh you must do this or you should do this or whatever else right that's our relationship with God we have to live and move and and and act in a way that honors God what do I mean by that we need to keep to his moral will meaning that we're not dishonest we don't lie we don't cheat we don't steal we don't manipulate people we're not passive aggressive we're not pathetic we live within his moral will and then we make the decisions that we need to do in life men young men especially need to cultivate
their thinking around being successful realizing that life is full of tons of uncertainty they're going to make mistakes they're going to have failures they're going to have to trust in God and they're going to have to walk forward with maturity and follow their best sense and the best advice that they can get from other men and to follow this through and realize that this is why life is a journey and everything isn't laid out at your feet ready to go and you have to fight for it you have to work for it and that is
part of being a man God bless you
