So, let me get this straight. The WWE has gone from the powerful Austin 316. [NOISE].
>> To the dominant and iconic can you smell what The Rock is cooking? [NOISE] >> Speaker 2: All the way to, you can't see me? [NOISE] >> You can't see me?
You can't see me? What are you playing, peekaboo? You can't see me?
I can see you. You can't, can you see me? Believe me, we all can see you.
We all can see you. A blindfolded, sleeping, stuck in the basement. Stevie Wonder can see your monkey ass.
[NOISE] >> How in the hell you think we can miss you? Come out here with your bright ass purple shirt. And before that, your bright green shirt.
Before that, your bright orange shirt. You run around here looking like a big fat bowl of Fruity Pebbles. You just said, that you were gonna take The Rock straight to school.
School? Well, The Rock could just imagine, what you were like in high school. [NOISE] >> The oldest 27 year old senior, the world has ever seen.
[NOISE] >> Standing out in front of your house with your mama. And that short little yellow bus pulling up in front. [NOISE] >> Speaker 2: Meet me.
[NOISE]. Meet me, meet me. >> Speaker 1: You just walk in on the bus going to class.
Getting inside the classroom, teacher up on the blackboard. Okay, class. What is two plus two?
[NOISE] >> Do you know, Booker? Okay, I know the answer to that. Two plus two.
Thomas Jefferson, sucker. [NOISE] >> Obviously, Booker T. You're a highly intelligent man.
[NOISE] >> The Rock knows exactly who you are. >> Speaker 1: Yes, he should. >> Speaker 1: You are the WWE Tag Team Champion.
>> Speaker 1: Yes, yes. >> You are obviously extremely entertaining. >> Speaker 1: Smart man.
Go ahead and clap. >> Speaker 2: Obviously. >> Speaker 1: But here's what's amazing.
What's amazing is the fact that you are that entertaining, when you still wear Llama strapped to your head. >> Speaker 1: What? [NOISE] >> The big one's getting upset.
She's upset. [NOISE] >> Grown man. >> She's upset.
Big Mama didn't like that. Big Mama didn't like that. You know what's amazing?
Is that you are so big and you're so strong. Yet you are so nerdy, it's almost as if the incredible Hulk banged Urkel. [NOISE] >> Did I do that?
>> Speaker 2: I'm Sorry. >> Speaker 1: You're Austin Theory, right? >> You're damn right.
>> And you're from A town. Is that right? >> Speaker 1: You're damn right.
>> Speaker 1: Well, something else that I'm damn right about is you clearly are an ahole. [NOISE] >> And I'm gonna show you. The Rock is going to show you, because we are live.
And here's how The Rock is gonna show you. You're such an ahole. You see, in about three seconds, this side of the arena is gonna chant.
You are. And then this side of the arena is gonna chant, and. [NOISE] >> Speaker 2: You ain't nothing.
You ain't nothing. You ain't no superhero, not like the Scorpion King. You're 100 pounds and nothing.
5ft nothing. Excuse The Rock one second. Excuse The Rock.
His cell phone's going off. Yeah. Hold on.
Cacao, hello? Hey, it's nothing. He says he knows you.
You're nothing. Don't laugh at The Rock jokes. [NOISE] >> Speaker 2: You're nothing.
And as a superhero. [LAUGH] You've got braces. [NOISE] >> You've got braces.
You're the President of Student Council. Is that what you're gonna do? You're gonna go sell, band candy after the show?
[LAUGH] >> Speaker 1: Well, just like The Rock left his heart in San Francisco. [NOISE] >> You in front of the millions. [NOISE] >> And millions of The Rock fans have clearly left your balls in Stanford, Connecticut.
[NOISE] >> You see, what's ironic right now is you're running your mouth about the Johnsons and the McMahons. But the truth is, you wouldn't be in power if it wasn't for Vince McMahon's Johnson. [NOISE] >> I just have to tell you, what that look means.
[NOISE] >> Speaker 3: That look, Steph, means that if you keep running your mouth. She's going to reach down your throat and pull your insides out. And play jump rope with your fallopian tubes.
[NOISE] >> Speaker 1: The Rock understands what took place the night you won King of the Ring. You got down on your knees, put your little hands together. And you said a prayer, and it sounded like this.
>> Speaker 2: Dear God. [NOISE] >> Speaker 1: You see, my name's Billy. And I just won King of the Ring.
But, there's one problem. Everybody still thinks that I absolutely suck. [NOISE] >> And then at that point, Billy, your house started to shake.
The heavens opened up, and God himself spoke to you and said this. Bob, but my name's Billy. It doesn't matter what your name is.
[NOISE] >> You are absolutely right. You do suck. But, there is one thing and one thing only you can do.
You must go find the man who is simply electrifying. [NOISE] >> You must go find The Rock. [NOISE] >> Speaker 2: My God.
Anybody, but The Rock. Know your role and shut your mouth. [NOISE] >> And then, Billy, as fear went through your body, tears went down your cheek and piss rolled down your leg.
[NOISE] >> Your house started to shake again. The clouds parted, the heavens opened, and what seemed like millions. Voices all said to you in unison, jabroni, if you smell!
But The Rock, [NOISE] >> Is cooking. And it doesn't matter Kevin Kelly what you call it, whether it's calling a Hell in a Cell, a Rage in Cage, paint us in your [INAUDIBLE]. The only thing that matters is that The Rock is going in this Sunday night to do exactly what he does best, lay at the smack it down, and get back The Rock's WWF title.
[NOISE] >> The Rock knows he's got five other guys he's gotta compete with. And even if The Rock has got to beat Kurt Angle. Which means I'm gonna drink a big glass of milk.
[NOISE] >> Eat some chocolate chip cookies, and then maybe I'll take three viagra. [NOISE] >> Or maybe The Rock is gonna face Rikishi, beat Rikishi. I did it for The Rock, I did it for the people.
I did it, shut your mouth, you thong wearing fatty! [NOISE] >> Or maybe even The Rock has got to beat The Undertaker. The American Badass beat him so bad that, one more time, he'll raise up.
[NOISE] >> Rest In Peace. Or maybe The Rock has gotta beat Triple H himself. Which means he's gotta beat the Game in the middle of the ring.
[NOISE] >> And there's one left. [NOISE] >> Or maybe The Rock has gotta beat, Stone Cold Steve Austin. Which means I gotta get in my pickup truck, drink some Steve Wisers, listen to some Backstreet Boys.
>> Speaker 5: What, Backstreet Boys? >> Speaker 1: And that's the bottom line cuz The Great One said so. >> Speaker 6: Backstreet Boys?
>> Speaker 4: Michael Cole, you are piercing a hole through The Rock's head. You're looking at him like that. The Rock, honey, give The Rock his T shirt.
>> Speaker 2: No, yeah. >> Speaker 1: You keep your head right there, jabroni, don't move The Rock's electrifying T shirt. The Rock says this, The Rock said don't move your head.
Undertaker, you talk about The Rock, you run your mouth about The Rock. And like you've just unturned a stone, you've turned over a stone that's never been turned over before on how The Rock writes checks that his ass can't cash. Because The Rock talks trash.
Like all of a sudden, nobody knows The Rock talks trash? The Rock lives, breathes, walks, talks trash all day long. As a matter of fact, Undertaker, The Rock, as a matter of fact, Undertaker, The Rock talks trash in his sleep.
Just like this, Roody-Poo Candy. [NOISE] >> Lay the smack it down on [INAUDIBLE]. >> [LAUGH] >> The Rock, The Man, and you, looking like a broke ass Burger King on crack.
[NOISE] >> Just because you won King of the Ring, it doesn't actually make you a king. And it certainly sure as hell doesn't make you wanna walk around here dressing like a 35-year old virgin hanging out at Comic-Con. [NOISE] >> No, no, no, no, so you gotta get in your head.
See, Becky Lynch is The Man. [NOISE] >> However, you don't see Becky Lynch walking around here holding a pair of testicles, do you? >> Speaker 7: But if I did, they'd be a whole lot bigger than yours.
>> Speaker 1: So, just so we're clear, you think that you're superior than The Rock and The Man. You think that you're superior than all of them and you also think that you're more superior than my boy, LeBron James. Is that what you think?
>> Yeah, that's exactly it. >> Speaker 7: It doesn't matter what you think. [NOISE] >> Well, maybe you don't remember you and The Rock, Triple H and the Rock.
Well, The Rock, let The Rock break it down for you. The Rock, the most electrifying man in sports and entertainment. The Rock!
[NOISE] >> Speaker 1: The Rock, Brahma Bull, great one, people's champ. And, to say the least, The Rock is something you're not undisputed champion. So shut up, bitch!
>> Speaker 5: My God! [SOUND] >> Wow! >> Speaker 1: Do you wanna go?
[NOISE] >> Speaker 1: He wanna see it. [NOISE] >> Speaker 5: Go, go! >> Speaker 1: I'd love to see him go.
>> Speaker 1: I would love to go. >> Speaker 5: No way. [NOISE] >> Well, then go get The Rock a baloney sandwich, cuz this doesn't concern you.
[NOISE] >> Whoopie doo! [NOISE] >> Speaker 1: Now, Billy Gunn, Badass Billy Gunn, you got a bad sounding name to make everyone think you're bad, but obviously, that's not the case. You are so jealous of The Rock, The Rock can taste it.
So there you are, there you are looking at The Rock in the position you will never be in. Now, as far as for you, Road Dogg, one of the biggest pieces of trailer park trash walking. >> Speaker 1: [LAUGH] Road Dogg's proud of that.
>> Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think he's offended. >> Speaker 1: Well, that's something to really be proud of. Now, The Rock and Test, see that bony jabroni X-Pac waving his arms there in the corporate ring.
>> [LAUGH] >> Well, if you can remember, about a month ago, The Rock damn near put your bony ass in a coma. When he gave you the most electrifying move in sports entertainment today, the Corporate Elbow. >> Revision is history from the champ.
I think that was Commissioner Michaels with the chair across X-Pac's head. >> Speaker 4: And, Chyna, you went on a date with Mark Henry, enough said. [NOISE] >> Speaker 6: Wow.
>> Speaker 1: Now, Triple H, you and The Rock have gone toe to toe. The Rock said it before, he'll say it again, going one on one with The Rock makes your monkey ass famous. You are a prime human, living, breathing example of a guy who looks like Tarzan and wrestles like Jane.
>> Speaker 4: Your time is up, my time is now. [NOISE] >> Speaker 3: Your time is now, my time is up. No, no, no, no, no.
[NOISE] >> Rock's time is just getting started. You wanna quote famous athletes, well, I got a quote for you. I got a quote for you from a famous athlete.
And it goes like this, Winning is about heart, you just gotta have it in the right place. The man who said that quote, Lance Armstrong. He was full of crap and so are.
[NOISE] Who in the blue hell are you? [NOISE] >> Because, you remind me of somebody, but I can't place who you remind me of, because. Actually, well, you kind of look like this guy Kurt Angle the last time The Rock was here.
Kind of. I can't picture it. You dress like Kurt Angle.
You look a lot different. You look like let me see. Did you change your cologne or something?
You look, hold on. [NOISE] >> No, no, you still wear the same old Calvin Klein donkey nutset smell. [NOISE] >> Well, I don't know what it is.
Well, you got a big A on your chest right there. What's that A mean? What's the A stand for?
A hole, something like that. What does it stand for? What?
What's it stand for? The A stands for Angle. Kurt Angle.
The next undisputed. [NOISE] >> The Rock just figured it out. Exactly.
I probably know what's different about you. Somebody got a haircut. >> [LAUGH] >> No, no, no, it's cool.
It's cool. It looks good. It looks good.
Don't get angry. Yeah, bald head looks good. Who would ever thought all the stars came out tonight?
Baby, you got The Rock Buster Rhymes and Dr Evil himself. We're all here. >> [LAUGH] >> We could treat this like The Price is right.
Hollywood Hogan, come on down. [NOISE] >> Falling on deaf ears. >> Speaker 1: Look at you.
Look at you just standing there. You with your punk ass friends. Look at you just standing there.
>> Speaker 1: Wait a minute. [NOISE] >> Who would have ever thought the man with 24 inch pythons would have half inch testicles? [NOISE] >> So, you must consider yourself some sort of tough guy.
Okay? We could be a tough guy, or you could be the voice of the WWE. And come on in here and read your message to The Rock's face.
Or, so you could either be a man come on in here and read it to my face. Or you could sit in your little glass box looking like a drunk, Hobit jackbag. [NOISE] >> And you tell The Rock your feelings are hurt.
Well, after hearing that, with all due respect. Rakishi, you can wipe your 400 pound ass with your feelings. [NOISE] >> You want me to tell him something?
[NOISE] >> You can tell him something, Rakishi. You could tell the world something. You could tell the world you feel constipated.
[NOISE] >> You could tell them all that you feel constipated from eating all the hamburgers and hot dogs. And just by the way. Last night at No Mercy, you just happened to munch on one big can of Stone Cold's ass whipping.
Somebody got a haircut. [NOISE] >> Big Show is. >> So, that officially means, Big Show that you are no longer a long haired, 7ft, 500 pound piece of monkey crap.
No, you are not. You are a short haired, 7ft, 500 pound piece of steaming, stinking grade A monkey crap. >> Speaker 1: Man.
>> Speaker 1: Where's The Rock doing? >> Speaker 1: He's infuriating this monster. >> Speaker 1: He buried himself.
>> Speaker 1: Now, Big Show, you wanna run your mouth about how you've got an eyewitness to The Rock's feet hitting the ground at the Royal Rumble. Well, The Rock says this. He is tired of hearing you whine.
The rock is tired of hearing you bitch. The rock is tired of hearing you cry and moan like a baby. But, there is something that The Rock wants you to listen to.
And that is the most important sound you will ever hear in your pathetic life. And that is all The Rock's fans chanting his name. >> [APPLAUSE] >> Big Show can't stand this now.
>> Speaker 1: Now Big Show seen as you've heard the sound. The Rock says, go back to supercuts and get your $5 back, Gibroni. >> Speaker 1: No.
>> Speaker 1: Finally Stone Cold has come. [NOISE] >> You don't understand something. You don't come out.
Don't grab The Rock's mic. When The Rock is time to talk. You don't say what the rock says.
You don't see The Rock coming out and saying what? [NOISE] >> We've been this close for five minutes, and The Rock can honestly say. For some particular reason, your breath smells like strudel.
[NOISE] >> As a matter of fact, it doesn't smell like strudel. Now The Rock realizes what it smells like. It smells like a big, steaming, stinking piece of dog turd.
Instead, Undertaker of taking your eyes and rolling them up into the back of your head. The Rock says, take your entire 33 pound head. Turn it backwards like the exorcist, have it roll down your back, catch it with both your hands.
And then, Undertaker, The Rock says, take your own head and proceed to shove it directly up your candy ass. Besmirched. [NOISE] >> The Legal may have to explain that word to The Rock.
>> [APPLAUSE] Rocky, Rocky, Rocky, Rocky. >> Speaker 1: Besmirched. [NOISE] >> You use this word besmirched, William.
Are you feeling besmirched? >> Speaker 1: Well, quite honestly, yes, I am. >> Speaker 1: It doesn't matter if you're feeling besmirched.
[NOISE] >> That was good manners. >> Speaker 1: You going one on one with a great one. And The Rock says this.
After our match, we're gonna have ourselves a very nice thanksgiving meal. >> Speaker 1: A meal after the match. >> The Rock is gonna take a turkey.
>> Speaker 1: No, not a turkey. >> Speaker 1: The Rock is going to eat the breast, eat the wing, eat the thigh. But, The Rock is gonna save you the drumstick.
>> Speaker 1: That was generous. This is not gonna be pretty. >> Speaker 1: Then The Rock is gonna take that drumstick.
[NOISE] >> He's gonna wash it off, so it's nice and clean. He's gonna put some of that English worcestershire sauce that you like to eat. >> Speaker 1: Worcestershire sauce.
>> Speaker 1: And then in an act of American good will. The Rock is gonna bend you over, turn it sideways, and stick it straight up. [NOISE] >> How you doing, Mr.
Griffith? >> Speaker 1: He does remember. Sure, The Rock remembers you.
6th grade home at class, right? Do you remember how all year long, the only thing The Rock wanted to do in your class was make pancakes? >> In home egg?
>> Speaker 1: Uh-oh. >> Speaker 1: Rock took home eggs. [NOISE] >> And you never let The Rock make his pancakes, did you?
You wanted The Rock to make chocolate chip cookies, blueberry muffins, but never pancakes. And then right before summer vacation, you said, hey, Rock, tomorrow I got a nice surprise cuz I'm gonna let you finally make your pancakes. >> Speaker 1: What a memory.
[NOISE] >> And then the next day, you came to The Rock and you said, Rock, unfortunately, I'm all out of Aunt Jemima. >> Uh-oh. >> Speaker 1: But that's okay, but The Rock says this, hey, you still like to cook, still like to bake bread?
And you know your roles, right? >> [LAUGH] [NOISE] >> Wheat, buttermilk. >> Speaker 1: Well, then The Rock says this, you should know your role and shut your mouth.
>> Speaker 1: Well. [NOISE] >> take a little walk down Know Your Roll Boulevard, hang that right on Gibroni Drve and then proceed to check your Aunt Jemima no pancake heaven ass. >> Speaker 1: Yeah.
[NOISE] >> Directly into the SmackDown Hotel. >> Speaker 1: This is supposed to be The Rock's life. Does he have no respect?
>> Speaker 1: Hulk Hogan, what? Don't look at The Rock like he's got three heads, like you don't know what The Rock is. Maybe The Rock are talking your language.
How about this? Well, let me tell you something, brother. [SOUND] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hogan, Hogan, I'll tell you what. Hogan, Hogan, listen, I'll tell you what. Don't rip the shirt.
I know what happens. You rip the shirt, you go crazy. They go crazy.
You attempt to whip The Rock's ass. Let's not do that. Tell you what.
[NOISE] >> All right, honestly, honestly, I didn't mean anything I was saying. I'm just entertaining, you know that. I have nothing but respect for you.
I have much love for you, you know that. You've known me for years. I tell you what, honestly, honestly, let's electrify this Sunday like I know you and The Rock can.
[NOISE] >> Let's bigger The Rock, I mean. >> Maybe The Rock was just acting. [NOISE] >> I know The Rock.
He's a gentleman. I believe him. Come on, Hulk.
Come on. >> Speaker 1: How degrading. >> How dare you, little gibroni, come on to The Rock show, come on to the people show, come on to the premier show SmackDown and- [NOISE] >> SmackDown on UPN.
>> Speaker 1: This is an explosive situation. >> Speaker 1: And run your mouth about how you're the WWF champion, and run your mouth about how you're The Game. Well, The Rock says if you are The Game, then quite frankly, you need to go back to the drawing board because your game absolutely sucks.
[NOISE] >> This is my son's favorite wrestler. >> Speaker 1: Really? Hey, how about a shot?
Come on. >> Speaker 1: Okay, I'll take it, I'll take it. >> Speaker 1: Picture with The Rock.
>> Speaker 1: Yes, sir. >> Speaker 1: For your son. >> Speaker 1: Yeah.
>> No problem. >> Speaker 1: Here's Matt. >> Speaker 1: Okay, you guys get in here, ready?
[SOUND] >> That's a good one, man. >> Summer for the people's taste. [LAUGH] >> [LAUGH] >> What did you just say?
No, no, no, no, no, no, it's a matter what you just said. See, you shouldn't have said that. Rocko's being a man, no problem.
Picture for your son, no problem. Rock will tell you what you could do with that camera. You, Chico, Razor Ramon, you take that camera and [INAUDIBLE].
And then what you do, you give it to your big buddy, Big Daddy Cool Diesel. [SOUND] You turn sideways, and then you give it to him, give it to Hogan. Hogan, you take that camera.
It's already shined up, turn sideways, eat your vitamin, say your prayers and stick it straight up all your candy asses.
