Hi I'm Dion from Eflowtion Support Services and welcome to this EFT Tapping on Healing Codependency now codependency is more of a behavioural learned issue it's not classified under the DSM so it's not a mental illness but as EFT tapping works to down regulate stress uh it's merely that this EFT Tapping to down regulate some of the stress around these emotions but it's always good to work with a licensed professional to help relearn some behaviours that may have served a purpose at one time but more impeding our life than creating success so we'll do three rounds of EFT Tapping uh just following along and Tapping on the points we'll also check in with our SUDS scale our subjective unit of distress scale with 10 being the most amount of intensity that you can feel or stress around being or having codependent behaviours and 0 being no stress at all and we're trying to bring it as close to zero as possible but sometimes it will go up as we touch upon an emotion before it goes down so if you're willing let's do an EFT Tapping on Healing Codependency and our last EFT Tapping round will be a positive round. repeating after me Even though I have some codependent behaviours that I might not be aware of or I may have some awareness that this relationship this family dynamic I'm more there for others than anyone being there for me at all and I choose to love, honor and accept myself Even though I have this feeling this emotionally drained feeling this scared feeling this longing to be loved this craving to be loved by this person who gives me those glimmers through a storm of rage I want to see more of my light shine from within and I choose to love, honor and accept myself Even though this codependency may have seen me try to please others and care for their needs and it's worn me out and I'm not sure who I am as a person and I choose to love, honor and accept myself. I'm always there for others I really can't say no it really feels wrong to say no when someone asks something of me it feels wrong to say no because I have to fulfill that need and if I don't fulfill that I have this bad feeling within myself that I'm letting them down letting everyone down and sometimes I feel like a letdown and in my own eyes there's some behaviours that are telling me that I'm not supposed to be there for my own needs and that my needs don't matter and the only way that I'm of worth is if I can prove my worth to that person constantly demanding of more more of myself to be perfect because if I get something wrong I'm a failure in delivering of my service to their emotional needs and I feel berated and I'll definitely learn my lesson the next time so I don't get those harsh words so I don't get that punishment that I do what I can do so that I can get some love and then I can get some care it kind of feels like I have to go through hell and back just for a glimmer of Heaven for a feeling of peace or a feeling of being accepted in someone's eyes and to be accepted within my own because I fulfilled a purpose and I was of service and in that moment I was off worth and those moments are fleeting and I've become dependent on those moments and I've started to learn it's better to be seen and not heard but to be on hand when called and required to make people pleased and if I have emotions that are displeasing these are the times that I'm not to be seen and I'm not to be heard and this doesn't make me feel good and I'm bringing awareness to this In mind, body and spirit let's take a full breath in and out just moving the body around if you've had a SUDS score before that score between 10 and 0 checking in on that you haven't done a SUDS score yet that's okay just choosing a number between 10 and 0 seeing where you sit maybe it's going up maybe it's gone down and not judging of that just being aware of it and taking for a responsibility for your own well-being we've got two more rounds Even though this codependent behaviour has robbed me of my independence of who I am as a person and my needs are my wants I might not be really sure of that because I really had to be there for others and not there for myself and I choose to love, honor and accept myself Even though I may have become enmeshed become part of what this person is and less of who I am and who I am as an identity may be ashamed maybe laughed and maybe blamed for daring to be different and separate myself from this enmeshment and I choose to love, honor and accept myself Even though I may have resentment around being in this enmeshment around having this awareness that was there to be used and abused rather than to be loved and cared for and I choose to love, honor and accept myself.
All this identity all this in service of someone else I've tried to control so much of my environment if I know what triggers them I'll really try not to push that button in order to keep safe and I've gotten to know them more than they know themselves and sometimes that lets me down because even though that I know better me knowing that is separate to them knowing that and they might fear that that separation so any form of self any sense of self of who I wish to be there in that codependency in service of their needs Don't drift too far away and make sure I always respond to their texts even when I'm trying to do something for myself and it might be fine for them to do what they want because they're clearly doing it all the time but any form of separation of myself may show me as a cold person an uncaring person because if I dare to separate I'm not there for their needs so draw me back in and pull up another table at the bar there to be used there not to be seen just part of the furniture and this may show up when I'm out with people and it's fine for them to talk but if I have an opinion if I have anything I value to say I might be mocked I might be devalued and this piece of furniture needs to know its place to be seen and not heard and this resentment this anger within maybe the body saying no that I do have my own sense of self that what I have to say is of value that me as a human being is entitled of my value and is entitled to say to others if you're here to abuse go see the door and feel free to talk to the other side of it because within my sense of self I start to develop what I want and not to be of want to know what my needs are and not to be someone else's needs and to be here for myself and to know that's not selfish caring for myself is self-care and I'm growing some awareness within myself that it's okay to care for myself and to have my needs separate of someone else or to know this anger wasn't there from a caring person and I'm here to heal this. In mind, body and spirit taking a full breath in and out moving around just checking in with your SUDS score once again perhaps it's gone up perhaps it's gone down and our last round ending with a positive so taking full responsibility for own wellbeing and repeating after me well let's go with that flow Even though this codependency that I'm aware of these behaviours that I have I can start to change nothing is forever and I don't wish to carry these behaviours forever and I choose to love, honor and accept myself Even though I might bring in some interdependency I might be dependent on myself and know that there's some relationships where there's give and take and it's a healthy give and take not just simply take and I choose to love, honor and accept myself Even though I've got a chance to really get to know myself to really get to relearn who I am and what I want in my life and what desires bring me joy and who I am truly as a person and as an identity and I choose to love, honor and accept myself I'm being here for me and I'm getting to know me I'm getting to learn new behaviours there's going to be other people out there to help me on my discovery of self on my recovery of self and it's going to be quite a journey because I might have learned these behaviours from childhood so I can't wave a magic wand and relearn a whole new mindset overnight I want to build the foundation build a new sense of self build new behaviours where I know I'm of worth and I don't seek out relationships or be in family dynamics that take off that worth when I get to learn off my boundaries when I get to learn scarily how to enforce them and I get to be brave and proud of myself of what the bravery it took I felt the fear and I'm still here relearning me and I'm learning to unlearn some old behaviours and I'm learning who I am at last and I'm giving myself compassion in that and I'm not being too judgmental of myself i'm learning new ways to not teach myself through disciplinary action but to be the pupil and the teacher in one going along this journey of life through the pitfalls and giving myself the encouragement that I deserve and giving myself the love that I deserve for simply taking a step forward on who I want to be and as part of the community my sense of self may set to improve that there may be someone in this community will connect with me but not through codependency for an interdependency where I've learned to care for my needs to put that oxygen mask on my face first before attending to the needs of others and I'm growing within myself that sense of self in Mind, Body and Spirit and taking a full breath in and out. stretching getting a bit of movement we can get a bit tense or intense you may touch upon stress as we let stress go and yes thank you for taking part of that EFT Tapping whether your SUDS has gone up or down just know that it's a healing process and it might take a few goes with this EFT Tapping video or .
. .
