imagine that you're getting ready to go to a party you feel excited but also nervous and you've got this feeling in your stomach almost like another heart beats there's something holding you back holding you back from getting to happy no you mustn't get too happy better to be cautious otherwise something bad might happen you start wondering who should I talk to when I get there what if no one wants to talk to me what if they'll think I'm weird when you arrive at the party someone comes up to you and starts talking with you and
as this is happening your mind starts racing your heart begins pounding you start sweating and it feels almost like you're dissociating from yourself like it's an out-of-body experience and you're just watching yourself talk keep it together you say to yourself but you can't and it's just getting worse after a few minutes of conversation the person you've been speaking to leaves and you feel utterly defeated this has been happening to you in social situations for a long time or imagine that every time you go out and you're in crowded places you feel this panic starting to
arise when you're surrounded by lots of people like on a bus you start to feel hot nauseous uneasy and to prevent this from happening you start avoiding a lot of places which makes you feel lonely and isolated now you or the person in both of these scenarios have anxiety disorders and what I can tell you is that anxiety is very common much more than people think right now one in 14 people around the world have an anxiety disorder and each year it costs over 42 billion dollars to treat this mental health problem to show you
the impact that anxiety has on someone's life I will just mention that anxiety can lead to depression school dropout suicide it makes it harder to focus and to hold down a job and it can lead to relationship breakdown but a lot of people don't know this that's why a lot of times people sweep anxiety under the rug as just nerves that you need to get over as a weakness but anxiety is so much more than that a reason why so many people don't think it's important is that they don't know what it is is it
your personality is it an illness is it a normal sensation what is it that's why it's important to differentiate what is normal anxiety from what is an anxiety disorder normal anxiety is an emotion that we all get when we're in stressful situations for example let's say you're out in the woods and you come face-to-face with a bear this will probably make you feel a little bit anxious and you'll probably want to start running like crazy now this anxious feeling that you get is good because it protects you it saves you and it makes you on
a hightail it out of there although maybe it's not such a good idea to start running when you see a bear I really don't think you can outrun a bear anxiety helps us meet our deadlines at work and deal with emergencies in life but when this anxiety emotion is taken to the extreme and arises in situations which don't pose a real threat than that's when you might have an anxiety disorder for example people with generalized anxiety disorder worry excessively and constantly about everything going on in their lives and they find it very difficult to control
this worry they also have symptoms like restlessness fear they find it hard to fall asleep at nights and they can concentrate on tasks now in spite of whatever kind of anxiety you might be suffering from there is something that you can do to lower it it works and it's simpler than you may think all too often we're given medication for mental disorders but it doesn't always work in the long run symptoms often come back and you're back to where you started so here's something else to consider the way you cope or handle things has a
direct impact on how much anxiety you're experiencing and if you tweak the way you're coping then you can lower your anxiety in our study at the University of Cambridge we showed that women living in poor areas have a higher risk for anxiety than women living in richer areas now these results didn't surprise us but when we looked closer we found that women living in poor areas if they had a particular set of coping resources they didn't have anxiety while women living in poor areas without these coping resources had anxiety other studies showed that people who
had faced extreme circumstances who had faced adversity been through Wars and natural disasters if they had coping resources they remained healthy and free of mental disorders while others facing the same hardships but without coping skills went on a downward spiral and develops mental disorders so what are some of these coping resources and how can we use them to lower our anxiety and before I dive into what they are I like to point out and I think this is so interesting you can develop these coping resources or coping skills on your own through the things that
you do you can take charge of your anxiety and lower it which i think is so empowering today I'll be talking about three coping resources and the first one is feeling like you're in control of your life people who feel like they're more in control of their life have better mental health if you feel like you're lacking in control in life then research shows that you should engage in experiences that give you greater control I'll show you what I mean do you sometimes find that you put off starting something because you just don't feel ready
enough do you find it hard to make decisions like what to wear what to eat who to date which job to take up do you tend to waste a lot of time deciding what you might do well nothing gets done a way to overcome indecision and this lack of control in life is to do it badly there's a quote by writer and poet GK Chesterton that says anything worth doing is worth doing badly the first time the reason why this works so well is that it speeds up your decision-making and catapults you straight into action
otherwise you can spend hours deciding how you should go about doing something or what you should do this can be paralyzing and can make you afraid to even begin all too often we aim for perfection but never end up doing anything because the standards that we set for ourselves are too high they're intimidating which stresses us out so we delay starting something or we might even abandon the whole thing altogether do it badly frees you up to take action I mean you know how it is so often we want to do something perfectly we can
start until it's the perfect time until we've got all the skills but this can be daunting and stressful so why not just jump into it just do it however without worrying if it's good or bad this will make it that much easier to start something and as you're doing it badly to finish it and when you look back you'll realize more often than not that actually it's not that bad a close friend of mine who has anxiety started using this motto and this is what she said when I started using this motto my life transformed
I found that I could complete tasks in much shorter time periods than before do it badly gave me wings to take risks to try something differently and to have way more fun during the whole process it took the anxiety of out of everything and replaced it with excitement so do it badly and you can improve as you go along I'd like to ask you to think about this if you start using this motto today how would your life change the second coping strategy is to forgive yourself and this is very powerful if you use it
people with anxiety think a lot about what they're doing wrong their worries and how bad they're feeling imagine if you had a friend who constantly pointed out everything that you're doing wrong and everything that was wrong with your life you would probably want to get rid of this person right away wouldn't you well people with anxiety do this to themselves all day long they're not kind to themselves so maybe it's time to start being kinder with ourselves time to start supporting ourselves and a way to do this is to forgive yourself for any mistakes you
think you might have made just a few moments ago two mistakes made in the past if you had a panic attack and are embarrassed about it forgive yourself if you wanted to talk to someone but couldn't muster up the courage to do so don't worry about it let it go forgive yourself for anything and everything and this will give you greater compassion towards yourself you can't begin to heal until you do this and last but not least having a purpose and meaning in life is a very important coping mechanism whatever we do in life whatever
work we produce however much money we make we cannot be fully happy until we know that someone else needs us that someone else depends on our accomplishments or on the love that we have to share it's not that we need other people's good words to keep going in life but if we don't do something with someone else in minds then we're at much higher risk for poor mental health the famous neurologist dr. Victor Frankel said for people who think there's nothing to live for and nothing more to expect from life the question is getting these
people to realize that life is still expecting something from them doing something with someone else in minds can carry you through the toughest times you'll know the why for your existence and will be able to bear almost any how almost any how so the question is do you do at least one thing with someone else in mind this could be volunteering or it could be sharing this knowledge that you gained today with other people especially those who need it most and these are often the people who don't have money for therapy and they're usually the
ones with the highest rates of anxiety disorders give it to them share with others because it can really improve your mental health [Music] so I would like to conclude with this another way that you can do something with someone else in mind is finishing work that might benefit future generations even if these people will never realize what you've done for them it doesn't matter because you will know and this will make you realize the uniqueness and importance of your life thank you [Applause] [Music]
