[Music] Joan and Richard had known each other since high school their friendship blossomed into a nearly 30-year marriage Richard a software developer and Joan a hospital lab technician built a life together based on shared dreams and mutual respect but over time subtle changes appeared in their relationship Joan grew more distant which worried Richard but he attributed it to work stress lately Joan had become secretive and preoccupied but Richard trusted her and didn't push unbeknownst to him Joan was torn between her family and a resurfaced connection from her past as she prepared for a vacation with
her sister Richard hoped the time apart would help them reconnect on Sunday October 3rd 2010 as Joan and her sister headed for the airport shuttle Richard wished her well and joked enjoy yourself and don't worry about me I'll be fine Joan smiled and her sister Brenda teased just don't let your sister get into trouble Joan playfully responded I'll be behave behave yourself I'll be back in 2 weeks and I expect the house to be intact be careful and remember I love you more than anything Joan said kissing Richard deeply before leaving Brenda impatient in the
van quipped come on we've got a plane to catch Joan mouthed witch while Richard rolled his eyes and said bye hun I love you too as the van drove away Richard muttered finally they gone returning to the house Richard thought excitedly about his surprise plan over the the next few days he and their son mark would transform the master bedroom into Joan's dream room from a magazine this was his special 30th anniversary gift Richard called Mark urging him to get moving they had a lot of work to do painting replacing the carpet and assembling new
furniture all while Joan was away on her Caribbean cruise Richard began packing up the bedroom moving everything into the spare room after emptying the dresser nightstands and armoir he faced the challenge of clearing out their two large walk-in closets over 30 years these closets had become storage for all kinds of things thanks to both Richard's and Jones packrat Tendencies they kept everything from old tools to school papers making the task daunting but essential for the surprise renovation with a sigh Richard headed into his closet nearly an hour later he had everything boxed up and moved
to the spare bedroom next he tackled Jones closet feeling overwhelmed just standing at the entrance Mark entered saying I brought you lunch and L tripped over some boxes jeez Richard exclaimed knock or something you almost gave me a heart attack sorry here's your sandwich and soda Mark replied they sat on the bed and ate in silence for about 15 minutes after finishing Richard said I'll pack the small stuff and you move the larger items to the spare room then we need to get the furniture to the garage for Goodwill okay Mark agreed as usual with
a short response they began working on Joan's closet Richard packed clothes shoes shoes and small items while Mark carried boxes to the spare room when Mark found a small case on a top shelf he asked what's this Richard recognized it as part of an old luggage set from his late mother-in-law he attempted to open it but found the latches locked just put it with the other stuff he said it took 2 hours to clear the closet after a break they disassembled the furniture and moved it to the garage by dinner time they were exhausted Richard
gave Mark $20 for pizza and they had beer waiting in the fridge after dinner Mark left to avoid upsetting his wife Brandy Richard cleaned up and got back to work prepping the room for painting by 9:00 p.m. he was done with taping Plastering and sanding tired he grabbed a beer and collapsed in his lounge chair falling asleep almost immediately the next morning Mark arrived at 7:00 a.m. as promised and they ate a quick breakfast of cereal today's all about painting Richard said I'll handle the high spots you do the lower ones we need to finish
everything no matter how late Mark agreed noting that Brandy would be at her mother's all day they spent the day painting wrapping up with Richard again asleep with a beer in front of the TV but this time he showered first on Tuesday October 5th at 6:00 a.m. the carpet installation crew arrived with nothing to do but stay out of their way Richard had breakfast and marveled at how quickly the professionals worked by 10:00 a.m. the carpet was installed and he had some time before the furniture arrived at noon Richard began sorting through the spare room
finding the beige Cosmetics case again it seemed heavier than it should and curiosity got the best of him he tried to open it with a paperclip but was interrupted by the doorbell the furniture delivery arrived and after showing them where everything went Richard left them to do their job once the new furniture was in place Richard started the long process of moving everything back from the spare room by midnight exhausted he gave up and headed for his lounge chair beer in hand on Wednesday October 6th 2010 Richard s Ste in by 9:00 a.m. he took
the old furniture to Goodwill and stopped at Denny's for breakfast by noon he was back home finishing the cleanup after placing everything back in the bedroom he hung a banner over the bed that read surprise before calling it a day Richard noticed a footlong gouge in the paint damn he muttered and spent a few minutes touching it up afterward he decided to clean up shower and have dinner while washing his paintbrush in the bathroom it fell and landed on the small Cosmetics case frustrated he grabbed a rag and some turpentine cleaning the case until it
looked as good as new curious about the cas's contents Richard retrieved a jar of old keys from the garage and found one that fit the Samsonite luggage locks sitting at the kitchen table Richard unlocked the case inside he found a large unopened manila envelope addressed to Joan from an A Stevens in Seattle dated September 15th 1991 he set it aside and pulled out a blue bikini smiling at the thought of Joan wearing it but what he discovered next made his heart skip a beat beneath the bikini was a photo of Joan kissing another man at
a dinner table shocked Richard's hands trembled as he examined the photo his mind couldn't process why his wife was kissing someone else feeling nauseous he rushed to the bathroom after calming down he returned to the kitchen and stared at the contents on the table the Cosmetics case the manila envelope the bikini and the photo his world crumbling before him Richard sat down and pulled out a stack of photos from the case each one featured the same man some formal some explicit including a few old Polaroids he found a woman's white silk scarf wrapped around letters
tied with a red ribbon the letters addressed to Joan at work were postmarked between 1989 and 1991 Richard took the earliest letter and began to read June 22nd 1989 my dearis Joan it's been only a month but I miss you terribly I miss your voice your touch your lip and most of all your presence beside me in bed I'll only call and write you at work as you asked to avoid any trouble San Diego is everything I hoped for but it's incomplete without you I can't wait to be with you again with all my love
Tim stunned Richard shouted holy crap she had a lover he threw the letter down overwhelmed by questions he realized the only way to understand was to go through everything in the case he moved the contents to the living room and sat down muttering about Janes packrat habits he started unpacking the case inside was a blue felt jewelry box containing a gold heart-shaped locket he recognized from a photo of Joan at a fancy dinner he found napkins with I love you written on one and a phone number on the other an invitation to a 1990 awards
ceremony for Dr Timothy D and guest and a dried red rose other items included matchbooks hotel receipts a California map and personal momentos like a black velvet sleep mask and a tube of KY Jelly confused and Richard opened the large manila envelope inside were more letters and photos including Polaroids of Joan some explicit others of her with Tim his stomach churned but he forced himself to continue Richard found letters Joan had written to Tim expressing her deep love and pain at his move to California she begged him to return saying she couldn't let him go
overwhelmed Richard Cried Out unsure what to do torn between his love for Joan and the revelation of her Affair he collapsed in tears curling up on the floor until he fell asleep on Thursday October 7th 2010 Joan was frustrated with her phone's lack of signal why can't I get a connection she muttered Brenda ever sarcastic replied we're on a ship dummy why do you want to call home anyway rich is probably doing something boring enjoy yourself annoyed Joan shot back you're a pain sometimes I'm going to see if I can get a message to Rich
and walked off calling Brenda a witch under her breath at the ship's Communications office Joan tried calling home but no one answered she sent an email to Rich detailing the fun she was having and Brenda's Antics then returned to the pool disappointed she couldn't reach him meanwhile Richard woke up on the living room floor surrounded by the contents of Joan's Cosmetics case the pain from discovering her Affair lingered but he knew he had to face the day after his morning routine he stared at the mess on the floor his eyes resting on an unclothed photo
of Joan from her babe period Richard reflected on their history they had known each other since high school where Joan though average in appearance saw something special in Richard they dated through college and married shortly after graduating Richard worked in computer science and Joan became a lab technologist they gradually built their careers bought a house and had a son Mark after a few years Joan entered what Richard called her babe period she lost weight tanned and got a new wardrobe attracting attention wherever they went despite the admiration from Joan remained loyal to Richard however Joan's
babe period ended when she became emotionally drained from work leading to a period of depression Richard took care of Mark in the household until Joan recovered one day she tearfully apologized for forgetting Richard's birthday overwhelmed by her struggles Richard reassured her joking that she could make it up to him over the weekend soon after Joan gained weight again returning to her pre- bab period size the attention she once received faded but she and Richard were happy Richard didn't care about the weight he loved her and found her voluptuousness zxy now Richard stood over the contents
of Jan's Cosmetics case staring at her unclothed photo no matter how much this hurts I need to find out what this all means and if we still have a future he said aloud he picked up the next letter August 19th 1989 darling Joan our time together last week was incredible I can still smell your perfume and hear your moans the plane ride home was agonizing because I was getting further from you our love won't fade even with distance the third time we made love was the most tender experience of my life I love you so
much with all my heart Tim Richard thought this is exactly how joanah and I used to be but now she's doing this with someone else angry and hurt he grabbed the next letter August 21st 1989 my love it took me days to recover from our time together but I do it all again I'm sorry we only had one day but it was Unforgettable I love you deeply I'm so torn between you and my perfect life at home I need both of you in my life I can't imagine living without either of you I'm confused but
know you'll always be in my heart in bed Joan stunned Richard muttered she loves both of us is she crazy or am I missing something what if Mark isn't even my son determined to uncover the truth Richard continued reading the letters throughout the day occas Al he took breaks to Pace get fresh air or cry as he examined more of the contents Richard found further evidence of Joan's Affair receipts matchbooks and other momentos from their secret meetings life as he knew it had completely unraveled as Richard was about to put everything back into the Cosmetics
case he noticed another letter he hadn't seen before it was from Anna Stevens Tim's sister dated August 14th 1991 Joan my name is Anna Stevens Tim's sister I found your letter to him and was shocked I never imagined Tim having an affair but it's clear from your words that you loved each other deeply Tim died last week in a car accident we had his funeral yesterday and I've enclosed a service card for you I'm helping his wife Ellen sort through his belongings and we try to keep her from finding out about you if I find
more of your things I'll send them to you please don't contact me or Tim's family I'm sorry for your loss Anna Stevens the letter was tear stained and crumpled this explains why Joan was so depressed that month Richard thought her lover had just died no wonder she was in bed for weeks and even missed my birthday Richard wrestled with how Joan could claim to love both him and her lover how do you give 100% to two people she had to lie to me constantly about where she was those lab conventions and even her love for
me he realized Joan's affair with the married doctor had lasted over 3 years likely starting around the time the doctor came to the hospital they met secretly at hotels sometimes in Jones office and continued their Affair even after he moved to San Diego they saw each other during his visits home or on out of town trips Joan passed off as work conferences lost in thought Richard noticed it was already 10: p.m. he had spent the entire day reading and reflecting needing air he stepped outside into the night leaving the door unlocked confused and hurt the
next day Joan left another voicemail Rich where are you I tried to call yesterday I miss you and love you you please be there tonight or I might just stay on this ship forever back at home Richard listened silently bitterly muttering she says she loves me liar he stumbled to the bathroom haunted by her words I love you too you two timing witch he replied to the imaginary Joan in his head but I can't believe anything you say anymore I've got to figure out what to do determined to plan his next steps Richard looked at
himself in the mirror God you look awful he said you haven't showered or eaten in days that's the first thing to fix after a hot shower shave and a quick breakfast of cereal Richard sat at the kitchen table to think about his future an hour later he had a rough plan and started making a list of tasks his top priority was to determine if Mark was his biological son he ordered a home DNA testing kit for overnight delivery with a week until Joan returned he decided to keep busy with chores to avoid sinking into depression
meanwhile Joan grew increasingly worried about not hearing from Richard she left message mesages for both him and Mark asking her son to check on his father I hope nothing's wrong she thought her concern growing the next day Mark grumbled as he headed to his dad's house annoyed at having to check on him after pounding on the Door Richard finally called out from the backyard where he was trimming a tree frustrated Mark got his father a bottle of water and then retrieved the mail which included the DNA test kit Richard pretending it was a flu test
convinced Mark to participate afterward Mark urged his father to call Joan and left Richard completed the DNA test and sealed it in the return envelope ready to mail on Monday he spent the rest of the day doing household chores to keep his mind off Joan that night he finally ate a decent meal pizza and beer on Sunday morning Richard left a voicemail for Joan saying he was fine and would call her on Monday he spent the day at the park watching ducks and families trying to distract himself on Monday October 11th Richard followed his usual
routine but made significant changes he mailed the DNA test and then went to his workplace as h office to apply for immediate retirement something he hadn't planned to do until Joan could retire too those plans were now gone he informed his boss of his decision and took two weeks of leave before leaving Richard called his friend and attorney Luke Paulie asking for a meeting at 1: p.m. Luke agreed and Richard prepared to seek advice on his next steps an hour later after a few quick goodbyes Richard's 30-year career with the County government was over fitting
into just two boxes he then visited the bank splitting his funds into a new checking account in his name he also retrieved his passport and important papers from the safety deposit box the bank helped him get a new credit card and remove his name from Jones he paid off the balance at the insurance agency he changed the beneficiary of his life insurance from Joan and Mark to just Mark and updated the car insurance to separate their policies next Richard met with his attorney Luke Paulie Luke joked about how they should get together more often then
noticed Richard seemed troubled Richard asked about the statute of limitations on divorce and explained Joan's Affair Luke was shocked unable to believe it but Richard insisted on divorce papers Luke advised him to talk to Joan and consider counseling but as his lawyer he agreed to draft the papers suggesting a 50-50 split Richard also asked Luke to remove Joan from his will making Mark the sole beneficiary Luke recommended again that Richard talk to Joan but Richard wasn't ready he wanted time alone to think and would contact Luke once settled that night unable to sleep in the
newly redec ated bedroom Richard ended up in the lounge chair thinking about the days ahead on Tuesday October 12th 2010 Richard received another voicemail from Joan but didn't respond he knew he needed to finalize everything before she returned planning to be gone before then by Wednesday October 13th 2010 Richard had his new credit card and everything set up at the bank he called Luke to check on the paperwork but Luke deliberately delayed it hoping Richard would talk to Joan Richard gave Luke a landline number for emergency but insisted Joan not be given the number Richard
spent the rest of the day preparing to leave disappointed that the DNA test results hadn't arrived he still quietly disappeared that night at 9:00 p.m. leaving everything behind Thursday October 14th 2010 Joan in a panic calls Mark Mark go check on your father I haven't spoken to him since I left call me right back after you find him I need to talk to him before I get home Friday and someone has to pick us up at the airport yes Mom I'll call you after I talk to Dad bye Mark replies dropping the phone and drifting
back to sleep next to Brandy Friday October 15th 2010 Joan and Brenda return from their trip wake up we're home Joan nudges her sister as the airport shuttle drops her off at the house Brenda mumbles just let me sleep until they get to my house turning away from the door Joan tips the driver hauls her luggage inside and calls out Rich I'm home where are you silence she checks the kitchen for a note but finds nothing she opens the back door and calls again still no response he must be at the airport waiting for us
she thinks Joan calls Richard's cell phone only to hear it ringing on the counter he forgot it again she sigh she starts unpacking upstairs when she opens the bedroom door she's stunned by the transformation a large surprise Banner hangs over the bed everything is just as she dreamed Rich you sneaky planner she thinks I can't wait to thank you tonight she admires the new furniture carpet and colors overwhelmed with happiness but as she unpacks her eyes fall on the banner again a small photo is attached a picture of her and Tim at the Chicago awards
banquet with the number written over her face her heart sinks oh my God no panicked Joan searches for the Cosmetics case but can't find it she tears through the house growing more desperate realizing Richard must have found it she collapses on the bed crying uncontrollably she tries calling Mark her sister and their friends no one knows where Richard is feeling alone she sobs terrified that he's gone for good after an hour Joan tries calling everyone again but still no luck Brenda eventually arrives and tries to calm her he can't have gone far have you called
his friends maybe he's at a ball game but Brenda's words only heighten Joan's anxiety Joan can't bring herself to tell Brenda the truth about Tim she's convinced Richard discovered the affair from 20 years ago and left for good she sends Brenda home promising to call if Richard shows up Saturday October 16th 2010 Joan spends the day crying and worrying Brenda suggests calling the police but when Joan does the dispatcher tells her she has to wait 24 hours to report someone missing Joan also contacts local hospitals but finds no trace of Richard while relieved he isn't
hurt she's even more anxious because she still can't find him Sunday Joan doesn't hear from Richard and spends the entire day in bed crying and praying God please bring Rich back I'll do anything just let him call so we can talk I love him and my heart is breaking Monday Joan files a missing person's Report with the police an officer comes by takes Richard's photo and description and leaves with the vague promise we'll let you know if we find anything Joan fears this means they'll call only if they find his body later Joan opens an
overnight envelope addressed to Richard hoping for a clue inside is a letter from a DNA testing company confirming that Richard and Mark are indeed Father and Son Joan familiar with DNA tests realizes Richard must have doubted Mark's paternity thinking Tim could be Mark's father but Tim came into my life after Mark was born she thinks she notices the results were also sent to Luke Paulie their lawyer and decides to call him Joan contacts Luke who explains that Richard was deeply depressed and mentioned the contents of her Cosmetics case he says Richard felt betrayed and needed
time to think Luke admits that Richard asked to prepare divorce papers but hasn't signed them yet Joan pleads to know where Richard is but Luke insists he doesn't know however he promises to contact her before Richard signs anything Joan spends the rest of the day crying and praying for Richard to return 10 days later frustrated with Luke's delay Joan discovers through Mark that Richard is staying at Aunt Mary's Lakehouse she drives there finding Richard sitting by the water looking unkempt and lost she sits beside him but he doesn't acknowledge her staring into the distance Joan
takes his cold hand and begins speaking rich I have a story to tell you I'll be completely honest and answer any questions please honey just listen Richard remains still but Joan continues talking I met Tim at Mark's third birthday party at the hospital daycare he mistook the party for his daughter who shares the same birthday as Mark we laughed and talked about our kids and eventually about ourselves he was a new doctor feeling overwhelmed so we started having lunch together regularly we became friends and he introduced me to research that led me to join Weight
Watchers over time our conversations grew more personal he complimented me on my weight loss and we began sharing our desires and Fantasies one day he invited me to dinner after work and I realized I had feelings for him at dinner we admitted our feelings but agreed we didn't want to hurt our spouses however after that we started holding hands and eventually he kissed me I felt the same way with his kiss as I did with yours Rich we had dinner at the Marriott one night and ended up getting a room that's when we first made
love I loved him just as I loved you and I couldn't understand how I could love two men at once I didn't want it to stop and we continued seeing each other I loved both of you deeply and didn't know how to solve the problem suddenly Richard stands up and walks toward the house without a word Joan stunned tries to follow but all the doors are locked as dusk Falls and the temperature drops she retreats to her car determined to wait for him the next morning Joan wakes to the sound of a motorboat she sees
Richard in a small skiff drifting in the middle of the lake she watches as he stands up and falls into the water knowing he can't swim panicked she screams for help and a neighbor rushes out in his boat Joan watches anxiously as the neighbor brings Richard back to shore she can't tell if he's alive together they get Richard inside out of his wet clothes and on to a bed after thanking the neighbor Joan spends the next hour cleaning Richard up dressing him in dry clothes and even shaving him then she sits beside the bed watching
him sleep 2 hours later Richard gets up goes to the kitchen table and finally acknowledges Joan he stares at her and begins to cry after several attempts he manages to speak do you remember me telling you about my old girlfriend Carolyn we dated for about a year one day she broke up with me over the phone saying she had a new boyfriend I rushed to her house and they were waiting for me I was Furious but didn't do anything even when her new boyfriend taunted me I walked away humiliated later I ran into her new
boyfriend again I planned to strike him up with a pool stick I kept in my car but a guy from the neighborhood Larry stopped me he told me no girl was worth what I was about to do I believed him until I met you you are worth everything even dying for today on the lake I thought of that story again I realized that eliminating myself over what you did was wrong I wanted to live to talk to you I need to know why Richard then puts his head down on the table Joan Embraces him and
they quietly cry together after a long silence Richard looks at Joan and simply says let's go home two months later life remains tense between them they live in the same house but sleep in separate rooms Richard is distant and Joan is always on edge they haven't really talked and their son Mark only visits briefly every weekend Richard spends time at Aunt Mary's house while Joan worries he might damage himself again today is Mark's birthday and the family gathers for cake and presents when it's Richard's turn he retrieves the Cosmetics case and the DNA test report
from the garage placing them on the table Joan is horrified unsure of his intentions Richard calmly says Mark your mother has a story to tell you it won't be easy but you need to listen then he leaves the house Joan overwhelmed runs from the room in tears Mark and his wife Brandy try to comfort her but all they hear is her crying behind the bedroom door after about an hour Joan comes back down and begins telling Mark about her past with Tim around midnight Richard returns home and tells Mark go home I'll take it from
here after they leave Richard hands Joan a card that reads Dr Jean Brooks marriage counselor we have an appointment next Tuesday at 6 without another word he heads upstairs to bed next Tuesday Dr Brooks prepares for her session with the Alexanders this case will be challenging she thinks it looks like typical infidelity but there are deeper layers I hope I can help them when Richard and Joan arrive Dr Brooks warmly welcomes them please have a seat on the couch she says Joan I specialize in marital issues particularly infidelity my goal is to uncover the root
causes and help couples find Common Ground sometimes couples decide to part ways but I'm optimistic we can find a way forward I don't perform Miracles but we'll find answers our sessions will involve open discussions with honesty as the key rule I'll guide the conversation and stop it when needed I won't sugarcoat things and you might not always like what I say but we'll uncover the truths in your marriage some truths will be enlightening others painful but we'll address them together after our initial session I'll meet with each of you individually to get your full perspective
after each joint session spend time at home discussing what we talked about but of void new topics if you can't discuss something calmly save it for the next session any questions both Joan and Richard shake their heads okay let's begin the hour flies by and on the way home they don't speak once home Joan asks how do you want to handle this maybe we could talk for an hour after we get home with some wine in the living room I'll need tissues how does that sound Richard agrees but suggests a couple of changes let's have
soda or water no booze I don't want to say something I'll regret and turn off the phones so we aren't interrupted Joan agrees and fetches the phones they sit in silence for a while unsure of where to start finally Richard breaks the silence today you said you've always been happy with me but how can that be true if you were with another man right after we married didn't I give you what you wanted what did I do wrong Joan interrupts Dr Brooks said to stick to what we discussed today just about us not anyone else
we'll address others after we've discussed it in session but I will say this I've always been happy with you and our marriage Rich that's the truth I love you and always have if you were gone I would be lost that's my truth as God is my witness Richard size you're right Joan I got ahead of myself you know how impatient I can be until recently I thought we had an ideal marriage sure we had our arguments but I never doubted us I never looked for anyone else you were always my anchor but now everything I
believed in feels upside down I don't know what's real anymore it hurts to even look at you because I can't stop thinking about those letters and imagining you with stop Joan interrupts wek talk about that later not now fine but answer this how many others were there should I expect to find more secrets around the house how many men have you been with during our happy marriage what are you accusing me of Joan snaps I've only been with two men Tim and you now you're accusing me of sleeping around from my perspective you lied about
one man how can I trust you didn't lie about others Richard counters his voice Rising I haven't been with anyone else Joan insists but let's discuss that in session no I need to know now I can't keep living with this pain if we can't talk about it then I'm done I'm going to bed Richard storms upstairs slamming the door Joan sits in the dark muttering that didn't go well four weeks later the drive home from another session is tense they both wait to talk until they're home once settled Joan speaks first hanun you never told
me you read all the letters I didn't think about it at first Richard replies flatly I was angry and embarrassed hiding all this from you I didn't consider your pain what it would do to you to read those letters I'm so sorry rich I can't change the past but I'll do anything to help us move forward I love you and I want you back Richard takes a deep breath Joan I never stopped loving you even when this felt like the worst pain of my life but the worst part is the images of you with another
man they haunt me constantly making me physically sick I don't think you can understand that kind of pain Rich we need to talk to Dr Brooks about dealing with those thoughts but for now let's just focus on being together maybe we can take a few days off go to the mountains and just be us without pressure how does that sound I'm not sure Richard replies cautiously I still feel uneasy around you but if we want to move forward we need to be together so okay let's go just no sharp objects he jokes making them both
laugh for the first time in a while two weeks later during the drive home Joan hesitates but finally asks Rich what did you mean by my babe period I don't want to talk about it Richard replies curtly why not because it hurts too much letun drop it I don't understand what did I do that hurt you reluctantly Richard responds your babe period was when you joined Weight watchat lost weight tanned got your nails done and bought a new zxy wardrobe you were no longer the cute overweight woman I married you became a babe men noticed
you and I was proud but also worried someone better might take you away it all changed when you got sick and returned to your old self I Loved You Then and Now but knowing that transformation wasn't for me but for another man hurts it ruins the memory Joan Whispers oh God how could you Richard silently leaves for bed 8 weeks later after tense session with Dr Brooks they sit quietly in the living room Richard finally says I don't get it Dr Brooks said loving two people at once is common but it sounds like nonsense to
me I understand the logic but not the emotions Joan tries to explain she meant I love both you and Tim simultaneously which usually leads to someone getting hurt we were hurt later the sequential part is when people move on to love again after a loss which is common I get it Richard SI but I don't I can't imagine loving someone else without diminishing my love for you you can't give 100% to two people at the same time Joan admits I don't fully understand it either but when I was with you you were my whole world
when I was with Tim he was it was like flipping a switch between you two I loved both of you completely Richard nods we'll need to keep talking about this for now letun write down questions for the next session they both remain unsatisfied and Retreat to separate bedrooms 6 weeks later Jon is crying much less as they sit in the living room Richard begins honey I'm sorry for what I said I didn't mean it well maybe I did in some way but I wasn't trying to hurt you or be spiteful I just said I was
glad he died because I didn't have to share you with him it wasn't until Dr Brooks explained that his end of life was as hard on you as mine would be that I started to see it from your perspective I get it a little now the man you loved died and you had no one to grieve with you were in your grief you had me but you couldn't tell me without losing me I understand why you were depressed I would have been too if you had died I'm sorry I said it the way I did
I didn't mean it oh Rich you can be so damn stubborn sometimes Joan responds her voice quivering with emotion you've been trying to understand how I could feel the same way about two men at once but you don't see how losing one of them would devastate me well do you get it now I loved him he died I died too I grieved just like I would have if you had died it's the same now as it was 20 years ago if you had died on that Lake I would have died too do you understand now
Richard looks a bit embarrassed but replies I guess on some level I do I didn't mean it that way I can be selfish too we just touched on this today but when you found out about Tim I felt like I had to go through all the sorrow of his end of life all over again I guess I still have feelings for him I haven't thought of him in years but I can still see his face he'll always be in my memories now that you know I have to relive all that pain again and it's eliminating
me can we let Dr Brooks guide us through this next week I can see it's going to be hard for both of us okay Joan agrees softly but get me a glass of wine before you go to bed I need some time alone Richard gets the wine turns off the living room lights and heads upstairs at the top of the stairs he hears sobbing from downstairs he quietly closes his bedroom door 8 weeks later Joan finally lets her anger show I can't talk to you tonight you make me so mad I could strangle you you
wanted a divorce without even talking to me are you crazy we've talked about everything since we were married and at this crucial point you want to handle this alone what are you thinking I'm going to bed now it's Richard's turn to sit in the dark living room with a beer he doesn't care much for wine the next morning some say the smell of brewing coffee can wake the dead that's Richard's first thought as he wakes up he opens one eye slightly and sees the living room ceiling the smell of coffee is still there he opens
his other eye and turns his head toward the kitchen he sees a tall woman in a bathrobe holding a steaming cup of coffee breakfast is almost ready go clean up go Joan says firmly Joan is the woman in the bathrobe that Richard sees after all these years she still looks like a goddess in the morning voluptuous and earthy his heart beats a little faster and it's not because of the coffee Richard sits up and accidentally knocks over the empty beer bottle he heads to the bathroom relieves himself and washes up in the mirror he sees
bloodshot eyes and the imprint of the couch cushion on his face neither looks good but he goes back downstairs for breakfast anyway after a delicious meal when he didn't have to cook he leans back and really looks at Joan for the first time that day she too has bloodshot eyes I'm sorry Joan says quietly I'm still struggling with seeing things from your perspective we need to write that down for Dr Brooks next time Richard Smiles something he hasn't done much lately that's okay I struggle with it too sometimes when I say something I don't think
about how it'll sound to you or how it'll make you feel I'm sorry too he pauses how about we have our conversation this morning wait a minute Joan interrupts what are you doing off work today I took the day off because it's more important to be here and talk this out with you than to push papers at the lab they can manage without me today an hour later they're sitting in the backyard with another cup of coffee talking why did you ask Luke to draft divorce papers Joan asks I was so hurt and confused I
wasn't thinking straight all I knew was that you cheated and I didn't want anything to do with you anymore I've always believed once a cheater always a cheater I didn't want to go through that again like I said I wasn't thinking straight but why didn't you want to talk to me maybe we could have worked it out Joan presses I know if we had talked I would have said things I'd regret it would have hurt both of us maybe Beyond repair I also knew that if we talked I wouldn't understand anything you said there was
too much going on in my mind besides I was hurt and thought if you suffered too I'd feel better but by the way I don't feel better Jan sigh that actually makes sense I probably thought all those nasty things about myself too we need to let Dr Brooks guide us through this we can't leave anything unsaid or unresolved we have to be careful and take our time Joan can I ask you something off topic sure anything did you ever think about leaving me while you were with him never I loved you I never thought about
leaving you you've always been my world I wasn't going to give you up I loved both of you we haven't resolved that issue yet but I could never have given up either of you I would have died it's still an open wound for me I don't know if I'll ever resolve it I may have to live with it as one of life's unanswered questions but I'm glad you didn't want to leave me Richard Smiles faintly been there done that as they say I understand now let's shut up and get some sun you're too pale it
was a beautiful sunny day and the Alexanders were outside enjoying the Sun a few weeks later after a therapy session Richard says wow that was eye opening do we want to talk about it now or sleep on it I'm still Wired from the session I say we talk now but you look exhausted I'm okay Joan replies it's just hard remembering everything and being completely open about Z has always been difficult for me even saying head out loud is tough I'm mentally exhausted but we can still talk if you want tonight though I'll need something stronger
than soda okay you relax and I'll get us something to drink Richard says he fetches a glass of wine for Joan and a soda for himself when he returns to the living room he sees Joan on the couch her head back and eyes closed for a moment he considers quietly covering her with a blanket and going to bed but she opens her eyes and gives him a faint Crooked Smile the same smile that first caught his attention in high school okay hun where do you want to start Joan asks I'm not sure how about explaining
what you meant when you said he rocked your world differently from me I always thought our Z's life was good and that I rocked your world just fine but evidently I didn't measure up it's not that you were worse or better than Tim Joan explains when you and I made love it was just making love after Mark was born we rarely went wild or tried new things we were comfortable with what we did we knew each other's every desire we didn't need to experiment anymore we had found what we liked and did it not out
of boredom but because it's what we wanted with Tim it was like exploring zeex all over again we found things we love loved that we different from what you and I did it's like we found our comfort zone but you did things with him that you didn't do with me Richard says his voice pained no not really you and I tried everything Joan replies shaking her head but with Tim we found different things we both loved that were different from you and me yeah I read that Richard says bitterly thanks for reminding me I'm not
trying to upset you I'm just saying that when Tim and I made love we had a different set of Acts that turned us on but in the end we still made love I never did anything with either of you that I didn't do with the other if you were into something unusual like public Zex I'd probably try it and be into it because you were does that make sense I guess Richard mutters I don't know I'm still struggling to get the image of you with another man out of my mind I may never get over
it I just wish I didn't see that image every time I look at you now that you've told me all this it's stuck in my mind just one more nail in my mental coffin damn I didn't mean to hurt you more than I already have I'm just trying to be as open and honest as possible to help us heal it hurts me to say these things out loud just as much as it hurts you to hear them we've got a long way to go Richard sigh I know I'm here whenever you're ready but only when
you're comfortable I'll wait as long as it takes I love you and I always will 6 weeks later Dr Brooks checks her appointment book and smiles the Alexanders are next today will be quite a surprise for them I hope they're as prepared as I think they are when Richard and Joan walk into the waiting room holding hands and talking Dr Brooks takes it as a good sign once they're seated in their usual spots on the couch she begins how are you both today I don't think I have any unresolved issues from last time so I'll
just ask if you have anything you want to discuss Richard you've had to move past those images of Joan with someone else I imagine they still pop up and are hard to get past you both need to be patient and talk through things when they feel wrong you've made a lot of progress yeah I hope so Richard replies this past weekend was awkward Joan adds we know what to expect but we're still carrying baggage trying not to trip over it she looks directly at Richard we will get better hun I promise I love you and
will do whatever it takes to make you feel comfortable with me with us nothing is more important to me than having you back with me every night I've missed you more than you know I need you and I love you Richard nods just be patient we've got some demons to conquer after a long pause Dr Brooks gives them the news this will be our last session you've come a long way since our first meeting and I think it's time for you to go on your own I'll always be here if you need me but now
the best therapy is for you to to figure out what's normal for you you've learned a lot about yourselves and each other some good and some not so good Richard then turns to Joan his voice steady Joan I've loved you with all my heart but unlike you I only had you in my heart I never divided my attention or loyalty you've said you loved both of us but that's where I fail to understand how can you give your all to both of us I'm your lawfully married husband you promise to be loyal and forsake all
others but breaking that promise shows me you haven't given me your all if I stay with you I'll always be the man who wasn't fully loved by his wife I accidentally found out about your relationship with Tim you never told me how you felt if if you had I would have divorced you and the pain would have been less than what it is now I'm not sure what shortcomings I had as a husband that led to this affair but it's been a year of Agony I was put on this journey by the person I loved
and trusted the most I don't trust you anymore I don't know how many more secrets I might uncover if I dig deeper I know I'm not the only man in your heart and that hurts I can't live with that feeling for the rest of my life looking at you and knowing how you lied to me for so many years making me live a dream that was rotten with deceit and betrayal it's unbearable so I'm left with no choice but to be on my own I'll file for divorce tomorrow we'll split everything 50 50 and move
on I won't hold any ill feelings toward you because when I leave this room today I won't carry any feelings for you at all you may contest the divorce but I don't plan to stay with you since you didn't consider our marriage before starting your Affair I won't either divorc or not that status won't hold me back I'm mentally emotionally and spiritually divorced from you thank you doctor for the sessions now I don't care what Joan has to say you've been paid and my therapy is over he gets up looks at Joan who is crying
but says nothing he walks out feeling the fresh air on his face it feels great for the first time in ages he feels relaxed he feels free Joan has served divorce papers the following week Richard has already taken his half of the money leaving only the house to divide he moves into a new condo near his office Joan tries to contact him but he never answers her calls or messages their son tries to intervene but Richard asks him what if after years of bliss you woke up in a nightmare would you still live in that
nightmare his son stops asking after that 2 years later Richard is finally free of his marriage Joan tried every tactic but he paid no attention she begged threatened and cried but it didn't matter to him at his age finding a new partner seemed unlikely but Richard found comfort in living with his three German Shepherds he knew for sure that they only loved him [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music]
