let's take advantage of fresh starts the new year is one of them let's not make resolutions and see and feel the person we're trying to become and the things that we want to do if each season started the exact same way every single time how am I growing what am I leaving behind that maybe didn't serve me whether it was other people's opinions and then what serves me what can I look forward to moving forward what would that do for you what would that mean to you is it that you get to roll around with
your grandkids your daughter is having her first child for example or does it mean that you show up with more Vibrance at work and it impacts the quality of your relationships and you're a relationship connected person you think about the greats they have fundamentally committed their life towards something they are fundamentally committed and organized around a vision a goal a purpose and I think you have to figure out what you trust within yourself so that you know how to filter what other people are saying Nicole Caroline welcome to the Mastery La it is so much
fun to have you guys here um the Mastery lab is a place for us to explore um to share some insights and so it's great to see you guys in here it's good to be here yeah we've been trying this for a while I know yeah it's GNA be great so I just want to come out kind of firing here on this idea about resolutions this phase of the of the years is really important for a lot of people and you guys both know my take on resolutions but maybe the listener doesn't I'm not a
fan I don't think that this is something that is all that useful for people but there is this moment in time right now where if we do anchor ourselves in research Dr Katie Milkman from upen has some really good research around the opportunity of Fresh Starts so I would like to start our conversation grounded in science and give people some tools your experiences and some insight so that they can be just a little bit better this year so let's just start with a clip from Katie Milkman and then we'll respond to that the research we've
done on the Fresh Start effect shows that at these Fresh Start moments we really feel like a better version of ourselves because we can set aside you know that was the old me all of those failures were of a different person we take on this new identity it comes with you know this is the 2020s me or this is the you know Philadelphia me because I've moved to a new city or you know if you've move to a new job you feel like it's the different role and with it comes a better you because we're
so optimistic we're always expecting more of ourselves in the future which I think you know it has some downsides but it's a pretty wonderful feature of human beings okay so when you hear Dr Milkman say that I want to offer some context and then get your take on it the context of why the three of us are having this conversation is we've been involved in high level sport in the Olympics for a long time and as athletes you start a new season every year so right now people are thinking about the resolution for the new
year and actually what what we want to have a conversation about is how to start a new season to give yourself a best chance to be the best version of you so when you hear her how do you open up the idea about versions and then how do you think about New Seasons I like the the concept of that transcending and including piece of what is it that you can leave and what is it that you can take with you and I've noticed that if I think back to my career in swimming specifically if each
season started the exact same way every single time how am I growing what am I what am I leaving behind that maybe didn't serve me whether it was other people's opinions whether it was trying to perform for the world around me whether it was my own you know anxious nerves about something or other and then what serves me what what can I look forward to moving forward like how can I continue to grow as a person now that's simple right but I think we can over complicate it a lot and we can go down this
Rabbit Hole of like I've got to change all these things and do all these things but what didn't work leave that there it served you somehow because you learned from it and then what can you do to grow moving forward and keeping it as simple as possible my goodness I mean that framing how about it Nicole like when you hear that that's like oh yeah that's that is how we do it it's an examination period it feels like to you to say what am I letting go of and what am I working toward and then
before your take on it Nicole Caroline how do you do that how do you think through and determine what you're going to let go of and what you're going to work towards I was talking with Kevin before this and I was just saying well sometimes I feel Kevin is our producer yeah Kevin he's great uh sometimes I feel weird you know I feel like I'm just different because I think of everything in images and so I can see different points in time like I can see my facial expression I can see things and I'm like
yeah I don't I don't want that or I don't want that experience that didn't serve me I was so stressed about this person judging me or not performing for this or not getting this time or not being best in the world at this and I can see the vision I can see the image of that versus just listing it like that doesn't work for me but if I can see the image of like how I felt in that moment and how just just empty that is I know that that doesn't serve me cuz my whole
body feels like it's going to just like crumble down into this little ball of dust if I think about that moment again and that's how I know that doesn't work you know what I love about this is that it's not a cognitive alone it's not an intellectual alone experience it's what we would would refer to as an embodied a fully embodied experience that you're using your imagination to see and feel times that you felt quote unquote empty or anxious like no no no okay great I've got that image that is something that I'm ready to
let go of right and then so you start with connecting the the image with some feelings and then you go to work on what led to that or what you want to do differently yes okay brilliant start there and then like funnel down into the specifics down into writing I do sometimes more bullet point style uh boxes and graphs and Nicole's laughing cuz she knows this is the truth but that really helps but then also on the flip side that's what I can see as how I'm going to start fresh or begin to feel like
I'm doing great things as I can see that facial expression of like a smile or like you're standing on a Podium or you can just see that glimpse of something and then you work towards that image like that's just what works for me and and I mean I know it's different and doesn't work for everybody but that's helpful for me to see that cuz it's tangible I on both sides what you're letting go of and what you're working towards it's like a little beautiful yeah and so you're not seeing a metal you're seeing you in
a future state I'm seeing myself yeah I don't see things very much I see myself and like how I feel whether it was like hand touching a wall turning around seeing the scoreboard like I could see all of that first and then being able to go from there I think is a really powerful way to to do that amazing Nicole what what did you hear from Katie milk or respond to we the three of us are so Tethered to growth that this conversation just makes sense but I'm I'm kind of cognizant that you know when
people are looking to set resolutions or for a fresh start that it's not always about growth that there's some Metric or there's some thing that they're trying to attain as part of sort of the impetus for the change whereas like we do it for the sake of growth so we know from research that about 20% of people that set a resolution actually accomplish it that's a pretty low number right and so 80% wash out and you're saying okay I get the idea of a fresh start a new year is a fresh start Monday actually is
a fresh start to the week right 6:45 a.m. is when I wake up on most mornings that's a fresh start to the day so there's a fresh start moment that the New Year represents and you're saying I get it but I feel like every day to be a successful Olympian I was constantly leaning into those two things what am I letting go of and what am I working towards yeah I remember I had already been to two Olympics and I was trying to make a third and we had all these younger players in the gym
and they just didn't see the game the way that I saw the game I was I was watching it unfold so much faster so that the game slowed down for me and I reached a point where I recognized There Was Fear to share what I was seeing because it might mean that they get better than me and when I finally let go of that it was actually liberating for me and so to your question about versions of you when I heard Katie Milkman talk about sort of this idea of I moved to a new city
knew me I think I have a knee-jerk reaction to this IDE a of like what about what about the operating system right what about all of the things that served you until now and that we're not sort of flipping things upside down but we're really tethering to what's been working for me and what do I need to let go of so that I can update the operating system it's way more grounded obviously her research is pointing to something which is like capture the fresh something I I feel it you do feel it even right now
when I wake up and it's like yes today is a new day I feel fundamentally different than oh my God Not Another Day mhm okay so you're using a fresh art on a day-to-day basis inherent in being an Olympic Athlete like that's that's how you approach every day so let's ground The Listener how many how long Caroline did you compete on a world class stage well after NCAA I guess it kind of starts so 7 years seven years I actually think in swimming college is in the US is yeah 5 to 25 but I was
not on the world stage at five so no right so uh took a long time by the way 15 years yeah somewhere in there like it was yeah okay competing against Great competitors okay Nicole 12 years 12 years okay and then your season you had seasons did you have two seasons a year or one two seasons year you had two yeah so you had the college and or the pros and then the Olympic season national team Olympic season and pro season okay so you got two starts in that way and swimming is like year round
like it's like you're staring at a black line two weeks off a year yeah I don't know how but seasons are a thing like you'll have summer season and then winter season okay to where you peek at those times so new year new you you're using a framework and Nicole are you using imagery as well similar to Caroline yeah I I connect to images as well let's stay here for a minute and operationalize how you do it so the listener who maybe doesn't use imagery or isn't familiar with it which is one of the more
powerful tools psychological tools can can you just open up maybe in ways that you've never talked about before like how do you do it do you sit down do you stand up do you lay down are you doing it walking like how how are you doing it walking with your eyes closed I actually have a cute little story here when I was um I don't know how old 10 nine or 10 I had a goals sheet and on the goal sheet you know you write down all the things you want to do and how you
want to feel and all whatever and all of it was like have fun with my friends and but then at the very bottom I put I want to go to the Olympics someday o l i m p iix and my mom framed it but I remember like you know you have very few memory sometimes of just specific things when you're younger like you know certain things happen but it's not very Vivid I had this image of me on the podium at the Olympic trials as one and the other one was like touching the wall turning
around and just like the smile of that so I held that for a long time and I was 20 when I made the team so 10 years and so I started with that again that image of the feeling the expression the experience versus okay I'm standing there with a medal with my name written on the roster like that wasn't as important to me as the feeling you know the experience the expression on my face and and embodying that so I start again back to I start there like I have to start with the macro feeling
and when you do imagery now as a more seasoned you know imagineer do you can you see in color can you is it real time is it slow like how Instagram now has like 3 second reels it's that it's that oh it's it's like a it's like a boomerang oh that's interesting and then when that was schol inang full color so but that's still how I do it to this day so that framed it up for me as a young girl and I haven't strayed from that like that's a very easy way for me to
capture that feeling when Bob Bowman was on an earlier podcast this is Michael ph's coach he talked about Michael doing lots of imagery like running the full race and then adding adversity into it where his goggles would fill up with water so he'd have a frame of reference if that were to happen yeah would you Nicole would you see adversity in your imagery or is it more of a success real initially when I wasn't super effective at imagery I would see a lot of adversity I would see myself making mistakes before you you helped with
that process and so I think it's pretty natural for your mind to wander when you're trying to when you're trying to imagine the future um and just for the listener I worked with with the team in what year was this it was 2012 to 2016 yeah and with the women's Olympic roster and when I became better at it then I could intentionally sort of plant what I was working on for example let's say there's a phase of the Season where I was um sort of struggling with a particular skill being served you know from one
direction to the next and making angles on my left then I could implant that you know the particular server the type of serve the environment the mistake that I was making and then correcting it in real time oh that's yeah so the listener might hear that and go okay couple things one new year new me this is actually an everyday process right but let's take advantage of the January Fresh Start let's ground it in some research let's think about upgrading the operating system and it involves two things what am I letting go of and what
am I working towards and then part of the process is to close your eyes imagine you're doing imagery eyes closed not everyone does closing let's just say closing your eyes and seeing and feeling both parts of that and then why do that because it becomes a little bit more real and let's say that somebody wanted to lose weight make more money gain weight whatever it might be you're suggesting work through the sticky points maybe it's not drinking at parties you know you would encourage them to see themselves walking up the stairs to a party and
kind of having that right frame inside themselves where they're open they're fun they're going to enjoy it and they're not anxious and tight about what do I do somebody says do you want to drink that they're working through that feeling first yes do we have that right beautiful so there's there's a bunch of words that we've just used we've used imagery we used resolution we've talked about goals when I bring up the word intention what comes to mind for you for me it's a quality of how you want to show up and be there's images
that are connected to that there's feelings that are connected to that and that's 100% in Your Capacity to control so that's one of the reasons why when I think about how do I want to move through a fresh start a new year I connect to that word much deeper than a resolution right what am I Resolute or determined to do it's a a way of doing not a way of being okay so I'm not interested in resolutions we hit that from the top you're more interested in an intention like how do I want to be
okay I see you nodding your head yeah resolution I have the allergy too as well just because I think you set all of the resolutions this outcome oriented you know goal but if you don't know why you're doing it which to me is intention why you're doing it why it matters to you how you're showing up to her point then that's why it falls off that's why that you gave the statistic earlier that's why people lose it after three months because that goal can't be that strong if you don't know why you're doing it and
and that intention can help you get there just pause here because there's a way that I work with people when they're going to start a new season or start a phase whatever the phase is sometimes people come because they're like look there's so much more in me and I'm committed I want to go to that place or it's there in some sort of Crisis and they're like it's hard right now you know like or it's the beginning of the Season they're like look I just want to I don't want a stone unturned I want to
make sure that my Technical Training my physical training my mental training it's all on point okay so the thing that I do first and foremost it's like simple language which is like well what's the ambition here what is it that you're trying or what are you setting out to do simple language and then who are you setting out to be those two IDE the doing and the being is going to constantly be a framing for me can we make this really concrete for you going into 2025 what are some of the Ambitions and who is
it that you're working on becoming can I throw a wrench in here really quickly oh what what if people don't know how to describe what they want and how they so what if that's a big part of the conversation yeah you know where it's like okay I can feel it I know I inherently want to be great and and lose 20 pounds or run a marathon or you know uh win a gold medal or become CEO of my company I I don't know whatever it is but what if they don't know how to describe that
it's not tangible yet yeah I think that's a cool statement or cool question because most people tell me if you feel it differently have a sense that there's more and then there's a process to get more clear what that more will look like like what is the more the doing more and the being more still both of those frames and it's through the conversation through its questions um or a set of questions that help elicit that Clarity that that to me is what a great friend would do it's what a mentor could do it's what
obviously a sport pych would do a person of wisdom it could be a parent could not be any of those they could all you know get notbook right it could be a lot of things so so I think the work is to get to the clarity and I'm an extroverted thinker so I like to talk it out with people I like to hear it feel it and I like to hear what they say and I go oh that's not oh that's it oh wait not that but that and it like it's a bit of a
tapestry weaving experience for me that at the end of a conversation or five conversations I'm like well there's the tapestry that's exactly it so if I don't let you off the hook don't worry we were right um what what are some of the Ambitions that you're thinking about for 2025 and Andor who are you working on becoming something that's really important to me over the last year is working on becoming more of myself through less of what I have been so back to the initial conversation being open to more possibility being open not so rigid
in how I've always done things that got somewhere in my sport it was really good sometimes to be very disciplined and rigid but also and it works in my life in some ways and also it closes me to being open sometimes to new possibilities and opportunities that present themselves because it's easier to go back to what's familiar so that is something that's really important to me and I think it's an ambition in a way because it allows for different goals and outcomes to fall into place as I go so you've had incredible structure this phase
is now about breaking some of that structure yeah yeah it's hard to do because structure is also necessary yeah for some for some and it but it's also provides Freedom within it if you have an idea of why again so you are you working on breaking structure or I think I'm working on using what helps me with the structure and allowing freedom for what doesn't that's cool the parts that close me off to opportunity and possibility yeah and I noticed that you I know you're doing a bunch of art right now that you didn't say
it's to turn out 15 pieces it's to get into this Gallery it's to make this money it it's to put put out 15 somethings a week it you didn't do any of that kind of concrete tangible goal setting I think there's a an a part of me and I don't know if you experienced this too where you can you feel into that you're like yeah I want to I want to do that you know like I want do all those things you just said yeah and also I'm open to taking it step by step so
for example if I have an art show in February or something it's like that I want to fill the place I want people to feel like they're a part of something I want to for artists to feel like they can share their art that to me is more important than me creating something at this point does that make sense so like creating possibilities and opportunities as well that are more expansive for a community and for different situations than just me hitting a goal or a Target of I'm going to do this hello for you Nicole
the word I'm playing with right now is Vibrance MH I feel like I'm still recovering from my doctorate a little bit and that'll beat all the Vibrance right out of you yeah One S more citation please yeah how do you know the sky is blue who said it before you right so Vibrance and there's so much wrapped up in that you know part of it is like Vision a vision around like what it means to be healthy now at my age and the things that I've sort of encountered in the last year with my health
and then also just like personally I think I I part of my vision is my vision for life is to make a ripple and so what I've recognized is that I say yes to a lot and it doesn't always fill my cup and that takes away from my Vibrance and so it's also paying attention in my relationships and the things that I'm doing and the people I surround myself with to what's creating energy rather than what's taking energy and and then that that then also boils down to sort of the the daily commitments to myself
you know like non-negotiable around movement um even if it's seven minutes you know like doing squats before I get in the shower it's just something that I'm going to do because the snowball effect of those committed that committed action creates the type of sort of energy stores that I want and need to have so let me pull on that thread one of the less obvious observations that I've been able to see from working with world class you know athletes and teams is that they make a fundamental commitment in their life they are fundamentally committed and
organized around a vision a goal a purpose you think about the greats they have fundamentally committed their life towards something and that means waking up early that means waking up being disciplined the structure you were talking about Caroline this is not like uh when I feel right or when the motivation is on or you know when everything's lined up I'll paint or I will swim or I'll get in the gym whatever it might be it's a fundamental commitment so I I want to highlight that as people are going through this this Fresh Start phase that
think about the fundamental commitment required that rests on a series of committed actions which is what you were just referencing Nicole using your imagination um to see what you want to let go of and who you want to become to clarify that it does start with some questions either you're asking yourself or other people and that question for me is who do I want to become who am I becoming and what's the ambition what am I trying to do and then in some way get it down or make it clear so that you can work
from a fundamental commitment to get to a set of committed actions what do you think what are yours oh I how did how you waiting waiting for the opportunity to kick it back maybe what cool way to answer that is if you would share first what we do as a team here at finding Mastery every year maybe you can walk people through that exercise that you know it's you know it's part of what we' just been through it's pretty simple the year of you know blank filling fill in the blank fill in the blank and
we take the time to know each others yeah so that we can you know see people working towards it love them up when they're you know in it sort of lock arms with them when they're not that's it yours is the year of Adventure M yeah mine is was the year of play last year the last two years nice job Caroline and this year it's the same so I've I've run this back now this is my third year I've run it back it's a deep intention to play more and I'm an intense person I'm serious
I I love the work I get to do I get really intense and I want more even more play I'm exponentially better at play than I was three years ago and I want more of it and so I'm running the same thing back so my intention is a one word intention which is this year's the year of play M and so to operationalize that I have to fundamentally commit to it not just have a bunch of goals that I write down like how am I going to be more playful today is cool but I have
to fundamentally commit to it and then when I wake up in the morning like that's the that's the Fresh Start all right play so what do I do like what did I do last year as a takeaway uh probably 85% of the time first thing is um to greet Lisa and Grayson with a smile and a good morning kind of vibe in that way Vibrance there you go and the second thing is turn on some music in the house that's just up that has a beat to it so I'm starting connecting and then I'm starting
with like some energy in my environment so that that's how if I'm better at that it creates this Glide path for all the things that I want to do to have just a little bit more play so that's for me what I'm working on and I want to add one more piece is that this becoming the way I see it is not like a version of myself to your point earlier Nicole it's not quite that for me it's more like opening the aperture wider so that that part of me can come forward yeah right that
part of me that was at three and 13 and 23 that part of me can come forward and the part I want to come forward more often is a playful part so that's that's how I'm doing it I like that do you like that I do yeah well and I was thinking as you were talking my word last year was Trust this year I I feel like it might be trust again because that's that trusting the expansiveness of opportunities and staying open to that but trust is also so intricately tied to those fundamental commitments and
committed actions because if you don't trust yourself to do the things that you want to do it doesn't have that same that same feeling in the first place so I think it's important you know as people wake up January 1st it's like do I trust myself to really step into what I'm envisioning for myself or you know if I set an intention for myself I think that really goes hand inand in a lot of ways too that piece for me when I really trust myself I Can Dream bigger yeah and the trust has to be
earned let's let's spend a few minutes on talking about how to build self trust when I think of self trust is like I can do hard things now you have to earn that statement and that statement to me is like I trust that I will figure that out too whatever the that is sometimes those things are really you know like heavy and hard yeah you know some people are like don't see it don't say it because it comes into existence I'm just call on that right no square up with it face it exactly be an
adult like this could happen to you know um so you're calling BS on that too yeah oh yeah I used to never Very Superstitious if you will when oh yeah like for example would never tell anyone what I wanted to do or um but but it was it was really interesting because I still trusted myself but I think there was a component of not wanting everybody else's voice in my ear oh that's different though which I which I eventually figured out but I think at a young age I thought it was super you know I
thought it was like I don't want to say it because it's not going to come true I don't think that was it it was me feeling like if I said it out loud that other people would have an opinion about it and I wanted to stay to what I knew I could do that's badass that but I didn't get that at first you know I thought I was just the superstitious you're young you're if you said out there I want to be an Olympic medalist you wouldn't somebody like oh that's sweet yeah that that's nice
I just didn't want other people's thoughts about it well I was just I think I knew that I was a people pleaser and it would just end up bad you know it would just end up in this place where I was doing it for everybody else and it did for a while there was a long time that I that I went down that path but I think once I figured out that it is you know just you got to stay to what you know you can do and that you're like the road you're on instead
of okay other people's opinions about the path that I'm going to go on it's not it's not my business they can stay out of it and I think that was finally what I realized how do you think that insight and some of the other things that we've been talking about for intentions and and you know really having a way of about yourself that you've learned over the years of all of the radical worldclass competitions that you've been through in the process how do you think that that is helping the corporate clients that that we work
with I think there's a difference between receiving feedback you know from people and honest thoughts and opinions and truths and filtering those into what is helpful moving forward and then people's just Flatout opinions about how you are going to you know achieve something or the way you're GNA go about it I think there's just a difference there huge difference like one of the things that is a important practice for me is I think about a round table there's only a handful of seats at the round table and those those that wisdom counsel are the people
I turn to and that could be a coach a technical coach right like put your elbow in when you do this or like hold your hand here when you could be a technical coach or it is definitely my wife there's some people that make the round table everyone else ah yeah you know like they don't really really really really really know what I'm trying to do so same for you yeah I think so I think that took some training though and it also took to your point about like earning my own trust that I didn't
have for a long time and I think you have to you know figure out what you trust within yourself so that you know how to filter what other people are saying otherwise it will just osmosis into you yeah right which is super dangerous covers you like a blanket I mean think about that like the average just becomes your operating system yeah right think about that most most people like there there's a number um when it comes to resolutions three out of 10 people set quote unquote resolutions what they go through some process at the beginning
of the year 80% of those people say oh yeah mine I'm going to make them happen less than 20% actually make it happen think about the overestimation like I'm Different I feel special you two are Olympic medalists so you hold something really powerful about how to make something a reality okay pause Nicole take us home on like what it is that you would love a listener to take away from this conversation from your insights from Caroline's insights what I would love a listener to take away is I think I'm thinking of your question like what
if you can't articulate it to start somewhere whatever it is because I think language is limiting and then to your point Caroline when we put it out there whether it's just the sense in our mind or we actually say it out loud There is almost the vulnerability hangover of of putting it out there within yourself or with other people and it's it's not a sentence like you're not sentenced to this intention or to this resolution or whatever the word is that there's so much flexibility if if I want to be about Vibrance this year and
two and a half months from now I need to adjust I can adjust but it's about setting sort of the mark whatever the North Star is for you put words and feelings and images to it what I hope you take away is that then back end with the committed the fundamental commitments the committed actions the daily restart refresh toward that rather than being one foot in one foot out love that I love that that's so good it's super crisp and for somebody that would be listening it's like I just I want to lose 25 pounds
I want to put on 10 pounds of muscle I want to stop smoking if let's be concrete somebody says I want to lose 20 pounds how would you reframe that starting point for a person or how would you work with that starting point for both you guys how would you do that I would start with why it mattered yeah right why is it important what what would that do for you what would that mean to you is it that you get to roll around with your grandkids your your daughter is having her first child for
example or does it mean that you show up with more Vibrance at work and it impacts the quality of your relationships and your relationship connector person so I want to know why it matters first and what are the feelings and images that that are connected to that and then um how how they would do it how they do what lose 25 pounds gain 10 pounds of muscle whatever it is like what what is the process matter and then from that make a fundamental commitment and then from that what are the committed actions to put that
in place and if you don't know go like find a sports performance coach a nutritionist like someone in your community that can that can nudge you a little bit more specifically well to that point I think and find your people find the the people that support you you know even if it's it's something small it's it's having that support and understanding from other people that hold you accountable to it I I know I love an accountabil buddy it makes me so happy to know that someone's like keep it going did you it's one of the
things we do at finding Mastery with our clients maybe we we run small experiments and so this is me explaining a little bit about what we do from a company standpoint is with a group of leaders um or a team we'll run these experiments on let's call it goal setting or optimism training or confidence training whatever it might be they're holding each other accountable and we're holding the team accountable to doing the work which it goes so far like I need it to yeah that's great all right look you guys are awesome there's a reason
you understand what it takes to be one's very best on the world stage and I'll just kind of wrap it up by saying it's a gift to be able to work with both of you and to watch you flourish and to create a pebble in the pond to help others flourish in their own lives and it for me it's actually quite beautiful because we get to work with people where they quote unquote sweat where they work and they know people they have maybe family members or friends so when they take these best practices about what
it takes to be one's very best the psychological principles and practices and we make them really concrete you make them really concrete for them that ripples into like so many parts of their lives and so many other people it's just really cool so I just want to say thank you for allowing me to work with you and and to do this work with so many thousands of people thank you let's keep talking no but really one of my favorite pieces about finding Mastery and working with you all is that everyone learns something from everyone and
with our clients everyone's learning from everyone it's all we're all learning from each other and that's such a special gift because I've learned from every single person that I've been in contact with whether it's virtually or in person and that's exact that's beautiful you know one of the like when I was early in my career I get really nervous to go kind of present to A A Team like a hockey team or football team basketball team and I was nervous because I knew that they already understood it they're in the NBA like what am I
going to do I never played with him so I'm completely wet behind the ears and I was really nervous at that point and then I realized at some point like wait hold on they've grinded their way here they don't necessarily have a program or a radical psychological operating system to do it and then I started to say wait why am I nervous that's because I want them to find favor and like me and give me another chance and and then I started to realize like wait there's so much I can learn from them too so
at some point like when we start to become um more partners with the people we work rather than quote unquote experts it goes so far yeah walk alongside each other yeah I think relationships matter more today than they ever have with our corporate clients as well the appetite and the aperture for relationship based organizations and the value of relationships right now has changed and I think just to your point we can sort of be a ripple or a pebble in the pond through teaching someone something or we could just simply be with them and see
them and the way that creates sort of um at scale is a really beautiful thing and how we learn through AI it's like everything is changing and um the premium right now I think for societies and relationships and support and building Community to leverage to leverage it all so as a summary there's some things that I want to share back to condense that I heard and there's also some things that you didn't say that I want to reflect on the first is that um take advantage of of a set of processes to help make a
fundamental commitment in your life it kind of starts with that deep commitment to organize your life around what matters most to you and the way Caroline you articulated is like what do I want to let go of and what do I want to work towards and then see it and feel it and spend time there then write a write down or have clarity about what are the committed actions I need on a regular basis so that's kind of the nuts and bolts if you will the most mechanical part of this conversation let's take advantage of
fresh starts the new year is one of them let's not make resolutions let's actually use this radical powerful machine of mental imagery and see and feel the person we're trying to become and the things that we want to do and combine those two together there is part of the broth of becoming okay the thing that was not said that was just part of your DNA part of this conversation was that you really care with everything that you do whether it's here at finding Mastery whether it's being a partner with your your your partners whether it
is you know getting in the pool day in and day out to be your very best or to be on the court and figure out how to just get one to 4% better on a regular basis it's the caring that is no one said it like you have to really care it but that is what you guys are about and so I just I hope the listener can can just maybe say oh yeah like really care about the person I'm becoming and really care about my people that I'm supporting and challenging them and they're supporting
and challenging me so that word care was never said if it was I missed it but it is evident in the conversation I see you guys both smiling yeah yeah it's having heart when you care you have heart you you show up for what matters and can let go of the things that that don't it's not easy no one ever said it was this is not easy but but at the heart of it is the heart how many people challenge you oh a lot oh gosh um my whole team the fun Master whole team yeah
how many people support and challenge you but by the way let me not run over that this is what I love about the funny Mastery team like Olympians and sports PES supporting and challenging each other like imagine the cocktail party or imagine the holiday party around a bunch of Olympians in sports like saying so how'd you do today you know I mean listen I my brother and I are both Olympians we grew up in a very competitive household and uh I think from a young age I learned that you have to have people that push
you in a way that is from the heart and because they know that you can be better and they know that they that you believe in yourself just as much as they believe in you and so I mean it sounds so simple but it's taking you back to that brass tax of of you know it doesn't matter if it's three or if it's 30 people but they've got to really be Allin and the Buy in has to be there and same for you in in return and reciprocating that so I'm big on that I think
it makes a huge difference um and when you feel that when anything is possible when you feel that I mean that's why teams at the Olympics are teams like when the team is really doing well like you just feel it right there's just this feeling it's so it's it's you can't describe it you know so I just I think when you know that you really feel into that and there's nothing that can stop you there Nicole but it's hard not to feel that if you don't if you lack care though you know like I didn't
care I didn't love volleyball every day but the one thing that I always cared about was working my butt off yeah and that wasn't just in service of me uh I knew that if I didn't do that and my teammates weren't along the path of doing that that we couldn't be the best team that we could possibly be and when we were all doing that those were the moments that just felt really good you know even even when it was hard even when we were on the eighth hour of training I'll share this piece as
a small little note is that you're talking about um being clear about why something matters so much right like whatever the the intention for the year is and um this is not about play for me this is about Fitness for a moment okay so I at one point I did I I trained really hard so I could be good at my sports surfing and then I trained after I was kind of done pushing in that Avenue I liked the training I liked something I could see and feel the concrete expression of getting a little bit
better a little bit more weight a little bit more Mobility but and it was nice and physical and tangible and I don't have that kind of thing as much anymore I'm not surfing big waves I'm I'm not loving the soreness that comes you know like on a regular basis you mean I'm not adverse to it there's something wonderful about it but it's not like the thing that's really driving underneath and so the reason I share this with you is because maybe somebody can relate to this is that when you're when you're trying to get better
it's hard there's a right at the edge of the capacity you can fold it up and be like ah there's things I got to do or you can stay for a couple more clicks of the gear and so specifically I'm thinking about this bik protocol that has me in the um 90% threshold that's a really difficult oxygenating place to be it's very it feels like there's a heater inside of my my body it's like really hard like the heater on 10 out of 10 and so I'm in that place and if I don't connect to
my vision of being a a fun engaging mobile dad for my 16-year-old son when he's in his 30s that that's another you know 15 16 years of me H Being Fit and mobile like I'll just pack it up I got things I want to go do other than stay with this heater in the inside of my chest for another you know 45 seconds so so I need to go to that moment and I can't search for it when it's there's a toxic feeling like a a real irritated feeling in my physiology I can't search for
what's my motivation I got to have that well in advance clear so I just wanted to if somebody is going if the listener is like yeah but when it gets hard like that's when I I feel like I connected to something that matters and mine is like me playing Sport with my when I'm in 15 years from now when I'm in my 65s I'm 6 53 so oh my God I just turned 53 oh my God almost said 52 yeah like in another 15 years I better be able to kind of sit down and stand
up easily let alone not alone like go serve big waves so anyway hold you to that we're your support system we got you look thank you guys so much really appreciate rooting for you uh love being a teammate with you and um thank you for sharing your wisdom thanks for having us thank you come on [Music]
