Mom & Sister Tried to Reco-ncile Me With My Ex for Years. But I Married to Someone Else and Got...

mom and sister tried to reconcile me with my ex for years but I married to someone else and got pregnant I started dating my brother's best friend when I was 16 we were together until I graduated high school when he proposed and I rejected it there was a lot of drama with my family asking me to reconsider because we could have a long engagement or make a promise to reconcile my relationship with my brother 36 suffered for a while but the one with my sister 32 never recovered she was sure my ex was the best

fit for me and became unbearable when she started dating my ex's brother my ex was invited Everywhere by my siblings even to some family holidays but I didn't say anything since he was their friend too that is until my sister started to push for us to get back together my sister did everything from trying to get us on blind dates to making us share a room during holidays no matter the occasion my ex was invited to it after a while I had enough and asked my parents to intervene they were clear with my siblings and

stopped inviting my ex to things or allowing him to tag along so much it was slightly better but while my brother backed off my sister didn't it all came to a crash when I met my husband during a semester abroad he was from another University but the same country and we just clicked it was magical for me and we got engaged after dating for a year my family was very happy for me except my sister she kept insisting I was in the honeymoon phase and will grow out of it I clearly didn't and after many

many many can't express enough how many fights and attempts to reunite me with my ex I simply let her know if she pulled anything again I will stop talking to her what does she do after that warning makes me hermo and requests I spend all my time with the bridal party AKA my ex and sets one of her friends as my husband hb's date we didn't realize until we were at the reception and the poor girl tried to make a pass at my husband my sister said that since we are not married it was okay

to explore things with other people I left the party and the next day spoke with my parents and brother explained that while I won't make them choose I will not talk to my sister ever again and if they try to fix stuff between us I will simply cut contact with them too my mom was devastated and tried to negotiate but my dad and brother said they would respect my decision and apart from two attempts from my mom I haven't spoken written or anything with my sister in the past 6 years my sister has tried everything

to reconcile with me from gifts to Tantrums but I simply don't talk to her at all if we are at a family event or dinner I simply act like she doesn't exist At first she made snarky comments or tried to create drama but since nobody backed her up she gave up she did have a meltdown when she was informed she was invited to my wedding but would not be part of any preparation my brother says he feels guilty for going along with it for so long and his relationship with my ex has suffered since my

ex they still talk but they are not as closed anymore the issue my mom's birthday was a couple weeks ago and I finally announced we are expecting our first child this is not the first grandchild but is the first granddaughter everybody was very happy except my sister my mom noted that and asked me for tea the other day my sixth sense told me not to go but I wanted to be positive the first thing I noticed when I arrived was my sister's car then as I entered the door there was my sister her husband my

ex and my ex meal they wanted to have an intervention since my childish tactic has gone for so long my ex said that he was just trying to be romantic but he understands I couldn't appreciate it his mom said I was just hurting my sister for wanting the best for me and she apologized already so I need to forgive her I was just sending texts to my family dad brother husband and looking at my mom in disbelief my bill had the balls to tell me I was a hurtful person and I need to learn how

to act like an adult since I'm having a baby now then my mom began reading a letter about how hurt she was her daughters weren't close how my sister was wrong but she was well- intended Etc then my sister read her letter and began crying and telling me basically another version of what the rest did I said nothing to anybody just sat there until my brother arrived he was angry beyond anything I've ever seen before he grabbed my stuff and told them all he was really disappointed and disgusted we went outside and sat in his

car until my dad and husband arrived by then I was just sobbing and he kept saying sorry I am unsure what happened in there but I sent everybody except Mom an email with my lawyer's number info attached and stated I don't wish to be contacted by any of them ever again and if they do I will go to the police nobody has contacted me but I know from my dad my mom and sister are hysterical they told him they hop to repair things and for my sister to be able to be on my baby's life

maybe possibly being a godmother my dad is staying with my brother at the moment they support me but some others in the family don't I've irvan had mutual friends call me since they are worried about my sister's well-being and asking me what happened since she is now going by the narrative my husband is keeping me away from my family I hate having my business in public but I did go the public route and posted a long FB post about everything that happened sister Bill and X are being dragged which even if it wasn't 100% intended

I feel is deserved now my mom has been inconsolable which does make me feel bad but not as bad as she made me feel with her little intervention I I agreed to have a talk with her a couple of days ago and laid the ground rules for any possible future interaction including therapy family therapy clear boundaries no sharing information about me with my sister and separate holidays most important if she ever pulls anything like this again she will for sure be cut off she feels this is too much but is willing to do it she

thought it meant immediate access to baby news and it is all solved but I told her it is a process and she needs to prove she has improved my dad and brother refused to talk to my sister and they keep apologizing for not stopping it earlier we've forgiven the them since they were able to move on and grow my husband supports whatever I decide but my Mill is unsure cutting my mom's access to her granddaughter is the way to go but says it is ultimately my decision I am torn about what to do with my

mom comments where op has replied commenter what are their logic like now that you're pregnant you should stop playing make believe with your husband and realize you're happy ever after is with your ex what about your baby your ex and his family going to accept her oop my sister claims she is not trying to get us together anymore but that I can't take away her chance to be an ant she said I am a bad sister for being close with my Sills who are amazing people I obviously don't believe her my issue is what to

do with my mom Commander she couldn't be your best friend without you dating your ex oop I wish I could tell you but I have no idea what her thought process is my husband has the theory she is just mentally unwell the ex the most ridiculous and scary thing is he still has the mixed tapes CDs I made him when we were dating those things are about 20 years old and he still hold on to them commenter I'm kind of surprised your stalker X and yes I will call him him that is still in your

brother's life that said hold firm with your mother no timelines she has to show she can stick to your rules sister needs to live with the consequences of her actions oop to be fair to my brother he did start to cut him off when I told my parents I was very uncomfortable with my ex around all the time I was living away for college but would visit my family during breaks he also made a very big effort to make my husband feel welcome which deteriorated his relationship with my ex even more because he felt betrayed

by my brother nowadays my husband is one of my brother's closest friends and he only speak with my ex when is about our nephew or to not be rude commenter you need to realize that your mom is supporting all of this a big reason big sis is continuing this is because she knows your mom also thinks it's right oop this makes me very sad since my mom was always so nice to my husband and now I am reevaluating their whole relationship oops background and culture not Indian nor from a religious family my parents were good-

nice parents they thought it was a romantic thing at the beginning but later realized it wasn't they encouraged me to go to college and everything now I know my dad actually supported me and my mom might have just played along and have the same beliefs as my sister my sister had this idea we would be best friends married to Brothers update 1 same day 16 hours later the edit I wanted to post but couldn't I want to thank you for the amount of support and advice so far I want to give a little more info

that is in my comments since there are too many for me to answer them all individually my ex and I broke up when I was 18 He is 37 now the reason for our breakup was that I didn't want to get married or engaged my sister insistence comes from the fixation of wanting the both both of us to marry brothers and being best friends my mom has always been so nice to my husband but I am beginning to think it was all a facade which makes me very sad my ex has been with people since

the breakup he also has two kids with an ex but he's never been married my sister says that is a very romantic thing to do since he has only ever wanted to marry me I should also mention his obsessive behavior is not only with me I know from the grape vine he was very similar with the mother of his children but now he is refocusing on me because my sister is encouraging it since she needs his help on getting back in my good graces so she can be a good my brother did start to cut

him off when I told my parents I was very uncomfortable with my ex around all the time I was living away for college but would visit my family during breaks he also made a very big effort to make my husband feel welcome which deteriorated his relationship with my ex even more because he felt betrayed by my brother nowadays my husband is one of my brother's closest friends and he only speak with my ex when is about our nephew sister's son or to not be rude both my parents seemed to be supportive of me not wanting

to be around my ex so much but I guess only my dad was in agreement on the day of the te party my mom told him she was making me my favorite tea and sweets but he couldn't stay since we would have quality time together my dad left to go hang with my uncle since he thought it was a nice sentiment for my mom he is very pissed off my husband tried very hard with my sister when they met but now he just ignores her and believes she is mentally unwell we don't know if she

is or not still there is no excuse for how she behaves they invited the ex and his mom because they thought it would be good for me to face the root of my issues with my sister or at least is their official version also we are not Indian not really religious my husband and I are from the same race there is also no wealth disparity between my ex and my husband if there is it would be in favor to my husband lastly my Sills both my brother's wife and husband sisters are enraged about the situation

my husband and his sisters will be talking with their mom about her comment my brother and his wife are considering going NC with my mom permanently in the meanwhile they will not allow her to see my nephews for a bit the more I read the more I think I might have to go and see with my mom for the sake of my kid my husband is heartbroken to think all their interactions were faked says he is even more enraged she made me cry in doubt I was a good person I realize there are still countless

conversations to have with my family about my mom but I will definitely be going for a restraining order against my sister and the ex the proper semi- update the state of my family so far I had a conversation with my mother but she insists she knew best I am a bad person and she will be getting grandparents rights or even custody I am nothing what she says but I still Panic so we sent her a letter about it my dad moved out definitely he told her that he could not sign on her terrorizing his kid

my brother and his wife wife also decided to go and see I know it seems very sudden but I think I undersold the level of Despair I had after the intervention my husband told them afterward they had to think very well about what they appreciated and to be kind and receptive to everything but would not raise a kid on a toxic environment reason 3,271 637 why I love my husband my husband is very heartbroken about my mom and her fakeness he says she will never get anything from him that is as much as Revenge goes

here my husband and sisters talked to my Mill about her comment and made her understand why it was very out of it as many of you assume she is a very loving mom from a loving family my dad and brother keep apologizing for any role they played on this my dad can't believe it went to this point he says it is still surreal for him regardless they support me no matter what and say they are willing to help me fight whatever ridiculous fight my mom or cider put update 2 December 17th 2021 I want to

thank the lovely messages and encouraging words I decided to post it here so it wouldn't be deleted like the original was things are great and horrible at the same time but I'm trying to remain positive about everything my brother and his wife sat my nephews down and explained that Grandma was ill and tried to hurt Annie diamond and the little cousin they explained grandma would not be part of their lives anymore but that doesn't mean she doesn't love them it was really hard but the kids are smart they were also told other an is no

longer in their life but they don't care because they dislike her not because of me alone simply because she is not exactly great with them either my mom lost it when she was informed and started claiming she had rights and she will get to see her grandchilden my dad is looking for a permanent place but will stay with us until January mainly due to my brother's Mill coming to visit is it and we having the space he is really sad has called divorce lawyers already moved Bank Stuff Etc he has been getting countless emails messages

and calls from my mom but he doesn't reply to anything the lawyer told him to not block her right now he considered maybe forgiving her but I got a huge Spike on my blood pressure a couple days after my last post here because she decided to come to my place with my sister my sister had never been to my home my mom knew I didn't want her there but I guess that doesn't matter anymore the cleaning lady let them in since she knows my mom and I haven't had the time to inform her she was

not allowed to come in anymore I was just coming from some errands and I saw the car this time I didn't get in I called all of my relatives and my sill husband sister was the one closer to me she confronted them and told them either they leave if I call the police on them for trespassing they left and I started feeling bad we went to the doctor and they told me all the excitement was not good and I needed to start relaxing or it would hurt the baby my dad went home with my brother

uncle and my husband and took every single thing he could think of my husband says my sister was there too and she kept screaming at him that he destroyed her family my my dad told my mom and sister they almost killed the baby and he also doesn't want to talk to any of them again my sister kept sending messages to my brother begging for help but is not happening I am devastated and very sad for my nephew since he is losing so much of his family because his mother has some wacky ideas but it is

what it is as per the custody and grandparent writes my mom wants to throw around so much my lawyer sent her a letter stating she caused harm to my health and the baby and if she keeps harassing me it will become an official legal matter my brother also sent her a letter using her harassing of me both mom and sister have refused to go to therapy they might be mentally ill but with all of this coming to light it is obvious they have been in agreement for a long time I will focus on spending the

holidays with my family being healthy and going to therapy update 3 March 30th 2022 hi I've received some requests for an update and had a little time so decided it could be a good fit I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart from your comments messages and well every advice because I feel we owe you for being even more paranoid than we were being a couple people asked me what method we used to know the gender of the baby I announced it after 20 weeks the reason for waiting so long is we

have experienced a loss in the past which we were preparing to announce when it happened and we wanted to be sure and have a safety feeling about the announcement also we were naive enough to think it would be special for my mom and you were right after posting I handed it to my husband and he read your messages comments and advice for some days we swiped the house and thankfully found nothing but felt extremely unsafe so we went to a hotel with my dad but then we realized there was a tracker on my fur baby's

vest he is a very small dog and gets cold a lot so he has a funny vest never in a million years would I have thought of looking there but we discovered the tracker when my dad walked him around the hotel area and my sister came and asked him about me and Reconciliation I was really upset so we decided to move thankfully we can afford it we are renting at the moment and also renting out our place so is not just empty I used to love that house but now I feel as ruined and tainted

somehow sadly my parents house feels the same and not only for me we all brother husband Dad s and even my husband's family changed our numbers got new electronics and ified employers friends police we also started therapy and family therapy my dad and brother feel extreme guilt over the situation even if I have truly forgiven them but we are healing as a unit my sister and Mom insist they are not wrong and they don't need therapy my dad made a new will in which my sister's son gets a trust fund and some inheritance but my

sister gets a token amount he is truly done with her I was feeling bad for her but I decided to focus my energy on my baby she is here and we are blessed it is not the experience I thought of since my mom is not around me anymore but so many friends and family members have truly surprised Us by the end we were so paranoid we started testing some people we were unsure of telling them I was going into labor it worked like a charm we discovered who was still feeding info to my mom and

sister and cut them out the rest understood when we explained the reasoning my ex whom my friends now call baates went around saying the baby was his cause we B been having a Tor effort due to my undying love for him nobody believes him anymore but it made my husband contact bat's employer and tell him about all the craziness long story short he was put on a suspension pending internal reviewing I am almost positive he will be fired since they have asked us for more and more info and they seem really apologetic my mom has

tried to find us but all the people that know of our location have gone NC with her my dad's lawyer sent her a letter stating that due to her unstability all correspondence will be through lawyers now it has been us and my dad because I felt so bad for him being alone he has promised he will be fine and nothing is my fault but I still feel awful he has been the best babysitter feeder diaper changer in the universe my nephews are loving as always and my dad even got a visit with my sister's son

it came about because she kept making videos threatening to hurt herself if my husband didn't stop alienating her family so my dad emailed her about seeing her son and told her he would call the police about her threat so that seems to have stopped it lastly someone brought up I gave bat's false hope it can't be further from the truth I spent years uncomfortable because I thought he would move on then after I spoke up and then met my husband I spent such a long time fighting my sister about it I Had A Very Long

Engagement which is why I married after my sister I still love my mom and sister but I choose a healthy life for me and my family over that love I I've discovered a lot of loyalty love and compassion through this whole thing as strange as it may seem I feel lucky it all exploded hopefully it is not much of a ramble big hugs for me update 4 June 25th 2022 we officially moved into a new house with my dad moving into the guest house we had many discussions both in and outside therapy and we decided

that while it would be good for him to be with us we all still need our space we are still renting out the old place and we'll be deciding what to do later my dad has the grandchildren all together about three times a week now he still has to see my sister's kid separately since she refused to let him take the kid unless she knew where he lived which to be fair is a normal thing but considering she is crazy we don't want her close my mom complained to the lawyers about how unfair it is

my dad still gets to see all grandchildren but there is nothing she can do about it about a month ago my dad told me he had a confession and my stomach started hurting dear reader he pays for my nephews sister's kid schooling and babysitting which is why she still allows him to see him he felt so guilty for hiding it and didn't want to keep secrets I assured him it was nothing wrong and to please don't feel bad on Mother's Day my dad got an email with a link to an Instagram account in which they

made a sad video about my mom and how most of her family has abandoned her and how much of a saint my sister is for being there for her it was really pathetic and enraged me but I just sent it to the lawyer dad officially filled for divorce in May and the process is still ongoing my mom insists he is wrong but my dad said he'd rather drink bleach than go back to her so I think that is final my brother and husband took my dad out for Father's Day and had a blast my sister

posted many many many things that day but they managed to block block my dad from even learning about it because we wanted him to enjoy it they also did a camping trip with the kids aka went to a hotel got a suite and put a tent in the middle area for the kids and a little Tippy for baby honestly having baby is one of the best things that have happened to me and seeing my husband being the amazing father I knew he would be makes me so happy it is tiring but we have so much

support I feel grateful beyond anything because I have my rocks on my side my Sills and I now get to have a little calendar on sharing things all the kids get to do things that are age appropriate and if they want to we want to let them all know they do not need to hang out with people they dislike and their voices matter right now they are all obsessed with baby and say they are her protectors and we get little get togethers brunch Etc honestly having family time is now a pleasure and not a headache

without my sister there I know it's wrong to say but she just sucks the positivity out of the room my Mill also loves having time with baby and stays in the guest room about once a week she asked politely and said she didn't want to take baby for sleepovers or anything I feel respected and heard by her and yes it broken down sometimes because I miss my mom a lot I miss the mom I had or thought I had not the one that told me I would be a terrible mother or was a hateful woman

my therapist says it's a marathon and to focus in the good speaking about good Bates was terminated not only that but his reputation in his industry was not only damaged but nuclear level damaged so was his brothers but because Bill is not in an industry that cares as much about reputation he still has his job as far as I know vate sent me a 12-page double-sided seems single space letter about how hurt he is I am denying him what's his and my husband is so threatened by him that he had to go and destroy him

professionally because he would not be able to destroy anything else I said seemed cause I didn't read it my lawyer did and gave me a summary I also heard from the grape vine no I don't ask people they just tell me since they know he is stalking me that the mother of his children moved and he didn't even care and said it was for the best this man doesn't even care about his kids and wants to play family with baby and me sadly he won't be homeless or anything because Mommy already let him move back

in with her so I doubt he will learn anything from this not the flashiest of updates but just what is oh and my husband burnt or donated every single item given to him by my mom or my parents with my dad's blessing he says life is too short to give her space in his life even with memories comments commenter I am really glad you are coming through all that with the good bits of your family very intact I don't really get the firing part I get Bates as a bad dude but has he ever done

anything that has relevance or a connection to his work oop without giving up his industry it is a very close-knit one and when you get a bad reputation it Suns you he was thought as a nice but distant in his feminist single dad before this he even told some co-workers I was with him for longer than we were commenter up I am reading your full post from the best of Reddit at 1:30 a.m. from my home in India and I have respect and sorry for what you faced and I hope your child grows to be

healthy and nice as you both also I hope this whole Fiasco is over soon and you can be bqck with your mother after her ex- fantasy is over respect for you keep fighting oop that is a lovely sentiment but I will never talk to my mom again I miss her a lot I cry a lot she is not the person I thought she was and baby deserves the best family we can get and my mom is not part of it it breaks my heart but I need to protect baby new update date June 30th 2024

long time no see I have some updates for you but first I want to thank you for all your comments and messages every time I log into this account I am bombarded by mostly positive things and I appreciate it a lot I am unsure if anybody will read this but for those who want updates they are mainly good ones with that out of the way let's get to it my parents are divorced now after many fights and Tantrums from my mother she kept the house and got a bulk payment but that is it my dad

is like a new man and we are all so happy for him a little throwback when all the drama happened we did not fire our cleaning lady this is a woman that had been helping my husband's family for decades and I was very stressed out about her being out of work because of what my crazy family did also we are not slobs and she is not polishing floors on her knees or anything like that in any case my dad spoke with her and told her she was on paid vacation and until we had a new

house to please wait for us if she wanted but she was absolutely not fired she was really happy about it and so was her family my dad started to get food and stuff from them from time to time because they were so thankful about what he was doing for them well she has a sister who owns her own nail salon and my dad is dating her now she is a very lovely woman and has grown children so she understands the Dynamics happening sometimes he has been very clear he is not moving or marrying and she

is pleased with that because she likes her independence my mother nearly had a stroke when she heard about his new relationship and kept saying it was a late midlife crisis and he had to resort to be a sugar daddy this is obviously what I heard because I don't have any contact with her but last I heard she is having a hard time she is struggling because she was never good at budgeting and relied on my dad had to put a stop on ridiculous purchases my sister is also struggling because my dad is not helping her

with money anymore you'll see he was willing to keep helping for the sake of my nephew but then things got very rough my nephew started calling my kid and a fair baby how she is not with her real dad called my other nephew's delusional and during a birthday party he even pushed one of my nephews on my husband's side saying they were not my kids cousins only he was the kids were perplexed and so so so confused but immediately told an adult about it my dad spoke with him but he kept repeating it he spoke

with my sister and she said she could do nothing to prevent a kid from telling the truth and didn't all kids tell always the truth he told her until there is a change he is cutting them off she panicked and cried but she is also super stubborn so now my nephew goes to public school because my husband made my dad cut them off Bates well he is still unemployed I know I was cryptic about it but he was in an industry related to vulnerable women and some of it related to stalking irony much that's why

he was fired the organization he was in didn't want this to Splash on them I have received two more very long- handwritten rambling letters from him and since he only has my lawyer's address guess who has the honor of receiving reading and file those ramblings I love my lawyer and he is a champ aart from that in the gossip I have not had bad issues related to him except for one I was at the grocery store and a random woman came over to ask if my kid was bat's baby I was speechless and shocked I

asked her what she was on and she said he has a photo of us on his profile and I should be ashamed of myself for hurting such a good man turns out he is still going by the narrative my kid is his and I loved him so much that is all old news but at the end what shocked me the most was the pick comment this is not a photo that has been public or anything like that it was sent to a family group once and that is it I told my husband immediately and he

was enraged but composed we decided to smoke out the rat long story short it was my dad's two sisters feeding info to my mom my dad was so disappointed but also had no doubts cutting them off they are still begging him to talk to them again my brother and his family are doing great we see them a lot and have been in some family holidays since the last update they are also NC with my mom and sister my S is actually super happy about it because it turns out she was not a fan of our

mom but kept the peace my in-laws keep being lovely as well we allow Mill overnight babysitting now too and she is over the moon with it sometimes she has all her grandchildren under the same roof and they are all delighted to be with her she is a former flight attendant so their favorite game is to pretend airplane overall they love her and we know she is good without kids so we not worry she had to make her socials private because my mom kept stalking her I am sure she is extremely jealous but she made her

own bed lastly my husband keeps me sane whenever little things come up we are thinking if we should have a another baby or maybe adopt one we are still undecided we have a great support system and the privilege to have these conversations I still miss my mom a lot I sometimes cry when I realize there are Milestones I can no longer share with her but she is a bad person and the safety of my family matters more last fun fact this Father's Day they actually went camping it went great apart from the mosquito bites and

some ill Place sunburns [Music]