it's not your job to change people we typically want to change people because we want them to fit some idea we have about how they should be and it's usually in relation to us getting something that we want personally so it's very selfish when we dig into our reasons as to why we want people to change and although we can actually have valid points to like you know this person should change and be more like this cuz it can help them like with X Y and Z although we might actually have truth in what we're
saying the entire attitude of like trying to change people is already uh false living life in that way is already an error that's already just a mistake even if you think that this person should change and do this cuz it can help them with X Y and Z right if that's not genuine to the person it's just first of all even if they do change it's not going to work long term they'll probably resent you for it and it's going to be very uncomfortable for you and the other person because it's just a lie like
what's going on isn't genuine it's not authentic it's not based off of what you guys truly want who you guys truly are so trying to get people to change is a losing battle and especially when you're doing personal growth and when you get really Advanced into Consciousness work it can really like I used to really want some people in my life to change so I could feel more supported by them or like understood or just feel you know like they can help me more and it's just very selfish motives and when you get into Consciousness
work pretty deeply and you see how much sickness exists in the world and how so much can be better if we changed you know it's easy to fall into the Trap of just wanting to change people or even trying to change people but it doesn't really work you really have to you have to learn the skill of appreciating and really respecting their individual Journey like their Soul's Journey their personal Journey their humans journey and you just got to kind of trust that you got to trust in the sort of underlying dynamics of Life Trust in
the infold the unfoldment of life so when you're doing a lot of personal growth and Consciousness work right it's like you can really come across some great things that really change your life and make so much things better for you and some people just aren't ready for that and you just have to just respect that you have to respect the rate at which people can evolve and change individually and collectively like on a societal level you just have to respect people based on where they're at and give them permission to be who they are even
if it doesn't serve you directly and even if they're they have like a pretty you know even if it's like a significant relationship in your life you just really have to respect where they are at and who they are and what they can see and what's in their awareness and our mind plays this delusion like we know it all or like we know what's right we know what's true we know how people should be and we really don't basically everything in the universe is a complete mystery to us including like anything in your experience you
basically have no idea what anything is what it's made out of how it got here whatever so just taking the attitude of not knowing and just respecting their journey is just like there's a there's an energy to that of of just wisdom right it's like you don't force the change you don't force something to happen you let change occur organically and you can help people to change you can offer guidance and support you know when you're asked or you know sometimes when it's like instinctually and intuitively right um but there's a major difference between like
some support some guidance versus like trying to get people to be a specific way in a way that like very fundamentally Alters their personality or who they are or how they're living their lives or things like that it's like these are big changes that don't just happen overnight and change is already hard for people change is often very counterintuitive we can have a lot of resistance to change like I coach a lot of people people and just some examples like when I'm trying to get people to start meditating there's a lot of resistance to them
even just like beginning the practice or putting their phone away like breaking some of their coping mechanisms for repressed emotions and there's resistance to like doing exercises there's resistance so much resistance to like really going Inward and changing and uh really we tend to just act like children in a lot of ways when things trigger us and when things don't go our way right the higher aspects of us get overridden by uh you know other parts of us by you know lower parts of us just keep it keep it like that for now right in
the same way that it does in children when they don't get what they want for Christmas or they don't get what they want now right it's like when things don't go our way when people even call us out they call out our shadow or mistakes that we make or you know it's easy for us to just really get super defensive and just got to make this distinction there's a big difference between calling out someone's mistakes and being very critical of them uh this is totally different you can actually help people correct mistakes in a very
loving and supportive way and in a way that helps them to grow and like you know you can allow people to make mistakes because mistakes are normal right you can change your relationship to mistakes and you can just allow them to exist and allow yourself to make them allow others to make them allow them to learn and you know no big deal right or you can get very critical and mad and like it has to be perfect so your attitude and your relationship relationship to it matters so you got to practice compassion for people and
just practice understanding where they're coming from you have to understand their Consciousness you have to understand their worldview you have to understand their patterns their triggers their values their of identity and when it comes to people in your life let's say a significant other like a partner if you need to continuously change them to be a way that they fundamentally aren't it's probably not really going to work and you're there's going to be a lot of pain in that relationship and potentially you can probably make it work maybe I don't know but the thing is
is if you follow this one principle you'll just have a lot a lot more harmonious and easygoing relationships in your your life so let go let go and do what is authentic to you and just see what happens see what kind of people you attract in your life really call yourself out on what you're doing for approval and what you're doing for acceptance from other people versus what you're doing that's very genuine and authentic to you and this can be kind of hard this is going to be hard right this like reflective work can be
very hard especially if you've built up a life on certain things that aren't genuine to you right to go back and correct that and change that and start new in some kind of way it's a lot right it's like we have to break out of patterns change who we are it's just a lot so you can't force people to change in your life even with my videos like you know I'm talking about personal growth and making changes to yourself in ways that serve your Evolution and raising your Consciousness right so Lucas you're um you're a
hypocrite you know you're trying to get us to change or something but really all I'm really doing is I'm just kind of doing things that I love I love to share Consciousness and personal growth and right if that helps people awesome if you don't like it awesome go do something else that's perfectly fine you don't have to Value it at all you don't need to adopt my world viiew at all so by letting go and doing what is Meaningful and authentic to you you naturally attract people who resonate with you you naturally attract people who
are like good fits for you you basically uh can align yourself with the right people simply based off the one principle of just like letting go of needing to control people doing what's genuine for you and seeing who enters your life seeing what kind of people the universe kind of puts into your experience what kind of people you start to meet kind of people you just come across in pretty mysterious ways and it's hard man it's hard it's so hard we have so many limiting beliefs and shadows and traumas and especially like just as you're
doing your own growth you're just going to outgrow relationships that's just like the it's a very cold aspect of life is just you know people grow apart if you're really doing personal growth and you're raising your Consciousness and like significant people in your life aren't you're going to feel the Gap more and more and more you're going to feel the difference in your consciousness over time more and more and more and you're not going to be able to connect deeply because the depth at which you can connect to another person is uh similar to the
depth at which you can connect to yourself so it's like as you can just kind of connect to yourself deeper you're not going to be interested in superficial things it's just a natural consequence of it the kinds of relationships you want in your life are going to be deeper and more meaningful right your relationships are going to reflect you in your own psychology quite a lot and it takes a lot to let go of people because we use each other to build up support systems and um sense of community and belonging it's for survival right
and sometimes you just got to let people go when they just don't align with you you just got to be really honest like does this person actually align with me and we might not even want to see that cuz we can be dating someone for years and years and years and it's like it's like we don't agree on very fundamental things like our values aren't aligned what we want out of life isn't aligned where I'm going and where I really want to go is very different from this person and right what I'm saying is that
if you actually have the courage to just let go and you don't hold on out of pure fear and scarcity and lack you'll attract people who are actually great fits for you right if you talk to a lot of people who've been in a lot of relationships and they're actually wise they'll say that a lot of their breakups are some of the best things that have ever happened to them that you know over time like it wouldn't have worked and like you know they just didn't want the same things and it's really hard to let
go of people like we build up a sense of identity together we just build up like this connection and IT wires us and we connect in very like instinctual emotional intuitive psychological ways that aren't just based off reason and thought and like we IT wires into our being right like the connection wires into our circuitry and we get attached and to let things go is just like so ungrounding it just feel like the rug is being pulled out from beneath our feet but sometimes that's just a wiser thing to do sometimes embracing the pain of
that is much wiser than avoiding the pain of that a lot of people stay in relationships not because they even want to be in relationships in the relationship that they're in I mean but because they just avoid the pain of losing it right and everyone has so much like just lack mentality and scarcity like if I lose this relationship there's not going to be anyone else or and even if your mind doesn't come up with that in a very like obvious way it can still be hidden below the surface and you have certain behaviors and
patterns that reinforce a belief like that that you're not even aware of you have all sorts of beliefs you're not even aware of and that you can't even articulate to yourself so changing People is just a losing battle there's no point cuz even if you do change them right even if you do force it change out of them it's just not going to work like it's just not who they are and it doesn't feel right to force change onto people who aren't ready for it or who don't want it you're just not respecting their autonomy
you don't respect them even if the change is good for them if they're not ready for it and they can't handle it it's just not time there's a lot of changes people can make that are good for them like Chang their diet or exercising more getting a different job that they like more re-evaluating the people who they hang out with people can make all sorts of changes and they would be very positive changes but you can't force them to make the changes they have to come to the realizations on their own right you can help
people you can guide them you can support them right but you don't want to do it in this very like unsolicited way in this like aggressive way in this forceful way and I promise that when you actually let go of people who really don't align with you you will naturally attract people who do and what kind of Life do you want do you want an entire life of relationships full of people who don't like really see you at your core and who don't really understand you and there's certain things you can even share with certain
people because you're opening yourself up and you're making yourself vulnerable and some people are critical and like they'll use that to manipulate you even in subtle ways and you just don't have to put up with that right a common misconception that a lot of people think of when um they think of like accepting people as they are or like accepting the present moment is that like whatever happens like we just accept it in like this like way that is just tolerating BS right so accepting the present moment oh that's a beautiful that's a beautiful bird
oh my God that's that's the most that's gorgeous oh my God accepting people for who they are is very different from tolerating garbage in your life you can accept the present moment accept people and like change things like you can accept that people are the way they are that doesn't mean that you have to keep them in your life if it's not the best thing for you if it's not healthy you can accept the present moment as it is but you know doesn't mean you can't change things if you walk into your bathroom and you
see a leaky pipe under under the sink you know you accept this is like what life is at the moment you don't struggle against and and you don't fight against it but it doesn't mean you can't fix the sink like no like fix your pipe man there's a very big difference between like bringing acceptance to the problem that you face right which also brings Clarity and Regulation and just health and well-being versus like resisting it fighting it struggling against it which just brings chaos and inner turmoil right these are two ways of going about life
and acceptance doesn't mean that you put up with garbage so really evaluate the kinds of people that you interact with often do they really see you at your depth do you really connect to them extremely deeply right and I want you to actually brainstorm some superficial reasons as to why you even have the relationships that you do like for security or just pure stability or like fears or lack mentalities cuz they're there they exist inside of you just like don't positive think them away just acknowledge that they exist inside of you because you're a human
and survival is really difficult being a human is difficult and complex and messy and just bring acceptance to those things the acceptance is going to heal them over time positive thinking them away doesn't work so why do you even try and change people really really dig into it what do you want out of people what do you want with your relationships that you know leads you to trying to change people and does it ever work has it ever worked has trying to change someone in your life ever worked it probably hasn't and if it has
it's probably been very very shortterm and has probably led to Res resentment and frustration and just a longer term failure so that's it for this video I'm offering onetoone coaching you can book a free call link is in the pinned comment and the descript description take it easy
