The 3 Pillars of Letting Go: How To Improve Your Self-Esteem & Raise Your Vibration

this is Julian and I'm here in Berlin Germany and what we're gonna crack into in this video here is a segment from transformation mastery live where I reveal the three core principles when it comes to letting go and realizing inner abundance you see due to the way the were conditioned most of us feel incomplete we feel like there's something missing inside this void that we need to fill and we go on chasing approval chasing control chasing security changing the external hoping that in turn it'll affect the internal and finally make us whole finally make us

fulfilled happy abundance you name it yet none of this works why because most people aren't taught these three core principles this is what's at the core of my teachings this is what changed everything for me and in this video I reveal it all to you so sit back pay very close attention get ready for your life to change in ways you cannot imagine add enjoy if you ask yourself why is it that you're doing XYZ why is it that you're here why is it that you're working on this or that we're trying to accomplish this

goal or that goal in the end it always comes down to feeling a certain state of abundance with it that's why you do everything that you do it's like well I'm going to accomplish this goal why certain way I'm going to do this to feel a certain way I'm going to you know get a lot of money to feel a certain way we're all trying to feel a certain state of abundance within why because due to the way that we even conditions we all feel incomplete not whole not good enough etc etc like there's something

missing within we just cannot be with ourselves now the approach that we take is we try to change this experience we try to feel abundance within by focusing on the external by focusing on our life situation we try to make more money we travel more get friends relationships approval access to cool things so on and so forth ok this is the route that the entire world takes thinking that this eventually will change how we feel at a core deep inside does this work yes or no can money buy you happiness yes or no yes because

it can buy transformation mastery now no it doesn't this doesn't work and I assume you've reached the point where you get this that's why you're here you're like I've tried everything you know what does money do it simply allows you to fuel your goal that's what it does what is money it allows you to reach your goal if your goal is to say numb yourself or escape yourself money will allow you to do more things to numb yourself and escape yourself that's all it does if you're broke and you feel horrible you'll drink cheap vodka

if you're rich and you feel horrible you'll drink expensive vodka if you're broken you feel horrible you'll play PlayStation game if you're rich and you feel horrible you'll go travel on a yacht somewhere but guess what you still feel horrible it's just oh I have more resources to numb myself more resources to escape myself more resources to distract myself to medicate myself that's all that money does okay so this doesn't work now you might realize this and then you go a little deeper and this is the traditional self-help or even spiritual crowd where it's like

okay I guess it's not the external you know circumstances let's work on my personality directly right let's read a lot of books gather a lot of knowledge attend a bunch of events think positive thoughts positive affirmations maybe that'll work someday yet even this doesn't affect that core experience of you okay why because this comes first this is at the cause this affects that and affects that and that's why nothing that we do ever truly works we think that by focusing on the effects we'll get to the cause no you must start here you've probably heard

me say this before abundance is the starting point not the goal and this is what I mean when I always say get to the cause that's the approach we're going to be doing here get to the cause focus on this directly and when you do everything else changes there's a famous saying I'm sure you've heard before that goes wherever you go there you are it doesn't matter what you do out here it's still you experiencing it it doesn't matter what you do on your personality in terms of positive thoughts and books it's still the same

you experiencing it and that's why it doesn't work and people spend their entire lives focusing on the wrong things fiddling around with the effects hoping that eventually it will get to the cause okay now in terms of the things that we really really focus on to try to change that experience that is us there are three of them there is approval control security in the spiritual world these are known as the three core wants or needs the things that we crave I call these the three false gods that we worship right we don't feel too

good let me worship the God of approval maybe if I get enough approval I'll finally feel whole with it approval validation recognition acceptance think about it you can audit your life what are all the things you do for approval dressing a certain way acting a certain way living your life a certain way how does this run you how are you a slave to approval oh the approval of my parents I'm gonna do this the approval of society I'm gonna do this they approve my friends the approval of strangers I'm gonna do this live like this

be like this and we think they will reach a point where when we get enough we'll have made it so this is why everyone wants to be famous there's a big craving to be famous why because you think that if you're famous and enough people know you and know who you are and approve of you it's like you have this huge reservoir of approval it's like well that's the max right if all the world approves of me then perhaps if I get a little bit of disapproval it won't affect me so much because I've a

reservoir of approval and perhaps if the whole world approves of me maybe that means I can finally approve of myself okay but that doesn't work right the more you invest in worship this false god of approval the more you are also affected by disapproval so in reality having this huge reservoir that one little person who disapproves of you will hurt you a lot more than not having it to begin with okay and beyond that too if you think of the effects of Fame what does it really do it just puts you in front of a

lot of people and society is not very nice to someone who they deem is famous like oh they can take it you'll see it in tabloids all the time different celebrities like the horrible things they say about them it's like yeah there's celebrities you know even you read that you're like oh yeah screw that person whatever their celeb they have it all they can handle yeah okay so this doesn't work why do we worship approval so much it really comes down to again the way we were raised right we're conditioned to believe that approval is

our oxygen to survive why because when you're born and you're a child can you survive on your own yes or no no you depend on whoever is raising you to provide you with shelter food so on and so forth now the way we interpret things is a child with a very limited perspective on the world on life is whenever we're disapproved of we're like I'm not loved right now oh my parents are punishing me they know they don't love me at this moment if they don't love me they could abandon me if they abandon me

because I can't survive on my own I die so we're chasing this it's like oxygen must need approval must need approval and it runs us even today into our adult lives okay so this is key and you will try to seek approval validation so on and so forth either in a wide way where it's like get as many people to like me as possible or in a deeper way we're just getting one person to really love you and devote everything that they have to you people take different approaches okay but this is one of the

ways that we try to affect that core and it doesn't work okay the next way is control we're like well perhaps if I'm able to control everything in the world other people all the different outcomes in my life maybe I can just finally feel at ease and make everything always just go my way and I'll feel good and abundant and complete and hope does that work no okay the more you try to control things were controlled the world on one hand there's massive just denseness that comes with this like the paranoia like got to control

everything control everything control everything and there's a deep assumption that life is against you right if I don't control everything if I don't meddle with life life will get me and the more you try to control life the more you're assuming that life is out to get you right beyond that you know that we live in a world of duality and there's a certain pendulum swing that happens nothing's permanent everything's always changing daytime nighttime for example and by trying to control things you're going against the flow of life and you will always be disappointed you're

hanging on to certain things and as life is changing I just tears you up inside and in the end the things you're trying to control the most what happens they end up controlling you so this doesn't work either now quick audits who here would say that they're more on the false god of approval worshipping side raise your hand what about the control side who here worships the false god of control interesting okay you'll learn a lot about yourself you can even I do this in the morning I listen to a morning meditation that I created

I listen to my own voice I know how that sounds and I'll go through this I'll think about the day ahead and I'm like okay we're around today am i hanging on to approval is there any part of me that's like who what if this happens what about that piece and what if this person sees me what if I get disapproved of what if I don't get that validation that recognition that acceptance and I'll do an audit then also think about control what about today am I trying to control trying to even control myself trying

to control how people perceive me what do I really need to and I'm resisting this I don't want that to happen okay and then here security technically this is the one that really runs these two we all want to be safe whole secure we try to seek security in the outside world right well if I have enough money I'll be safe and secure nothing will ever happened to me if I have enough approval enough control I just want to be safe and secure now here's the big thing there is no such thing as being safe

and secure in this world right everything's always changing there's that pendulum swing and guess what we all die we're all trying so hard to survive yet none of us survive what are you really seeking you're not seeking safety and security out there even if you've figured it out in the outside world life would be just so bland it'd be so flat if you could just predict every outcome it's like okay well there we go it's like living on god mode in a video game we all think it sounds great if you suck at a video

game you're like if I could just have the god mode it'd be the best game ever but then after like maybe a few minutes of in god mode you're like this is kind of boring now right what are you really seeking safety and security with in another example of how this comes first and runs us is if you think about say different emotional states you might be stuck in someone who's stuck in a state of fear that's going to color their surroundings you might be sitting here like a lot of people judging me what did

I wear the right thing what are people gonna think if you're in a state of anger you might be sitting here like HM Stacey cold enough is it too hot who I don't know where is this chair comfortable enough it colors your experience we all live in these different pockets these different realities that is run by this I'm sure you've also seen perhaps yourself say you're someone who's just very mad you go on vacation and you delay it maybe you're like oh new environments but eventually wherever you go there you are and you start getting

mad about things on the vacation oh this five-star hotel didn't look as good as the pictures Yeah right so the effects never get to the cause you must attack this directly that is the first thing get to the costs okay and let go of worshiping these three false gods the second key thing to understand is what I call questioning the assumption so you might understand this okay I get it Julian if I get to the cause I'll step into a new experience of myself a new experience of the world it's gonna be great let's do

that right I don't feel too good what are we gonna do to get me up here where I do feel good I'm not good enough I want to be good enough I don't feel whole I want to feel whole I don't feel very confident happy secure within I want to feel happy and secure let's do it but this approach does not work okay why because the more you're trying to say become enough at the same time you are telling yourself that you are not good enough to begin with only someone who believes they are not

good enough is trying to become enough only someone who believes at a core that they are not confident is trying to become confident only someone who's not happy is trying to become happy the more you're trying to become happy the more you're telling yourself I'm not happy I'm not happy must become happy I'm not happy and it's endless you cannot get there that way now an approach unfortunately that some people take is they give up on this they realize I guess it doesn't work here's what I'm gonna do instead I'm not good enough how can

I bring on a tomorrow I have low self-esteem how can I bring other people's self-esteem down to my level so then I feel at ease and in sync with the world and I do feel good enough because we all feel horrible screw that so this is a lot better than the alternative but it doesn't work question the assumption what does that mean why do you assume by default that you aren't good enough why do you assume that by default you aren't confident what if you actually are what if you've bought into a lie what have

different things might have conditioned you to believe in this lie and instead of reinforcing this lie by acting from it question it and perhaps the way there is to let go of all the things that are keeping this line alive and that is the approach we're taking here this is why you hear me talk about letting go so much what if you are enough what are all the things that are telling you I'm not good enough to begin with past trauma is an example the way you've been conditioned different things you've suppressed or repressed different

core beliefs core assumptions the core identity even consciously taking on all those things keep it alive and it's important here to also understand the idea of different paradigms or different Maps right it's like think of it here's a I talk about this a lot there's think of a video game here's the character in the game here's the controller here's the player playing the game this character it's like assuming that you are the character it's the same thing this character does the character is self-worth increase the more experience you get the more your admission as you

do yes or no yes it becomes a better character as you level up the character becomes better what about the player No yes this is what we're all craving inside yet we're trying to find the player in the video game we're telling yourselves I'm the character how could I find and be the player how can I go to this perspective you can't it's different reality's different paradigms trying to become enough is like trying to count until infinity can you do it no but that's what we're doing we're trying to find the infinite in the finite

and that's why this approach doesn't work now does this mean give up on money and goals of course not what did I say before abundance is the starting points from that play the game to accomplish different goals goal level up but don't let that affect who you are and how you feel at a core okay so it's letting go of everything that's keeping this lie that's telling you I am the character alive letting go of all that and realizing that you are enough to begin with inner abundance that complete sense of safety security feeling whole

whatever you want to call it can't depend on anything you could sake or abundance or even core confidence cannot depend on anything there can't be any conditions or requirements if this depends on something I'm easier down here without that thing right if you need something to be confident you're not confident by default even if it's thinking something or feeling a certain way no it can't depend on anything and this is why I keep talking about letting go letting go letting go that's the second thing so get to the cause question the assumption and number three

understanding this is realizing that there are two worlds inside of you there's a world that you're aware of and a world that you aren't aware of you could say conscious subconscious or you could call this your shadow and consciously there might be some things where you're like okay I kind of get this get to the cause question the assumption and you might address okay there's a couple things I can focus on that I'm aware of and you just say okay well then I'm gonna let go of my self-worth okay it's a lie but nothing really

changes because there's still parts of you subconsciously that are hanging on to it a lot of the things that have convinced you and that are keeping that lie alive are buried deep down in your subconscious and there are layers and layers and layers of resistance to ever becoming aware of it there's this famous scene in the self-help world there's what you know there's what you know you don't know but then there's what you don't know you don't know that is the gold all those things to where you know you might grow up in something traumatic

happen to you're like well that experience is not me or you get yelled at you're like okay this part of me is not me we create this split within us and we lock it out like as far out of our awareness as possible throw away the key and live our lives that way we're all conditioned this way I'm only good enough when I'm getting approval receiving love there's the approachable as part of me and the unacceptable me that's split of course you're not gonna feel whole so that is keeping that assumption alive becoming aware of

this is the first big challenge when it comes to this work you must first become aware of it to then let go of it and then you got to ask yourself how can I become aware of what I don't know I don't know and that's we're gonna be doing here going through different processes bringing this up because this depends on you you all have unique lives unique experiences unique perspectives you experience things differently interpreted and store two different things you grew up in different places different conditioning so that's the first part of this event we're

gonna be bringing a lot of this up into our awareness in order to then let go of it okay get to the cause question the assumption there are two worlds in you this is where the gold is another way to bring your awareness these two worlds is ask yourself when's the last time you just sat down in silence with you and did nothing I guess is almost never or very rarely why because as soon as you're sitting in silence here you're aware of me and this event but as soon as you're in silence you start

becoming aware of parts of this inner world right and the self-talk that's affected by this start seeping in you're sitting here quietly and it's like hey remember how ugly you are right it'll say the worst things it's like hey remember that thing that happened when you were and you got bullied that felt pretty bad right remember how I look at you here in your life you haven't accomplished your goals do you think it's ever gonna change it's like the worst friend it's like it's like the war and it'll say the worst things like you should

just have never been born you are pathetic human being cetera et cetera et cetera that is in the background and what do we do we just live our lives in a way we're ignoring that all the time you get home it's like quickly music something distraction TV just not to be with myself okay but until you address that nothing's gonna change of course you're not gonna feel good become aware of this to let go of it it's not necessarily comfortable to become aware of this we're conditioned to believe that transformation is all happy and positive

no it's becoming aware of those things that you disowned do you've been resisting for your entire life to then process them