Toxic World of Self Help: Hustle Culture, Fake Positivity, Addiction & Pursuing Money | Robin Sharma

You have been in the selfhelp world for several decades now in your view what is some of the toxic ideas that are perpetuated in that world that you think are unhelpful getting dangerous right from the first minute no it's an excellent question well I think my previous book before the wealth money Camp by there was a chapter in it called the big lie of positive thinking yeah and I think Our world in self-help sold us you know just be positive all the time if if you're experiencing heartbreak you're going through a tragedy look for the

gold I think that's very dangerous it's to definitely toxic optimism because what you then do is you swallow the native feelings that surface in a difficult time such as anger and disappointment and shame and sorrow and frustration so I think positive thinking is incredibly important but not at the Expense of ignoring ing the human feelings that come up in whatever the situation is so that would be one I think another point that might be a little unhelpful is there might be an inflated sense of what a human being can achieve I mean I really am

a possibilitarian I feel deeply about the potential of human beings but we can't be great at everything the good news is we can all be great at something we can all install All new belief systems better habits better routines better rituals and live far greater lives but that doesn't mean we're all going to be able to do everything so I think that would be the second belief the third belief would be I think sometimes people get addicted to self-help yeah becomes like a drug of choice let me go to the next event let me sign

up for the next digital course let me read the next book Without taking great information and then executing on it and making it automatic and a part of your way of being I think often what we do is we pick up these escapes to avoid dealing with our wounds and our limitations and looking in the mirror and and self-help can be can be an addiction that causes us to avoid dealing with reality yeah I appreciate you sharing that it's interesting as I was listening to your answers There it feels as though those ideas or a

lot of them have Merit but not when taken to an extreme so being able to be positive is a good thing but not if you're expecting yourself to have positive thoughts every single hour of the day you I think you mentioned look for the golden tragedy well I think certainly in your new book The Wealth money can't buy there are elements of you know how we can use hard times in Life to grow but I think what you're saying there is that we have to acknowledge that this is hard this is a tragedy we need

to take a bit of time first before we start looking for the gold is that what you're getting at yes so what I'm saying is our society has almost told us not to feel and so rungan what we do is we are species that live in our heads and if you live in your head well then you're going to have war and selfishness and Egoism but if you have a strong head Nelson Mandela said it w very well he said uh a strong heart and a clear head is a formidable combination so positive thinking is

absolutely important but before that let's say someone's going through a divorce an illness a loss if you just shift like the positive thinking books say shift to positive thinking do your gratitude lists and be happy happy Happy but you've got a broken heart so what I'm suggesting and it's contrary to society and and now of course people are suggesting now which is wonderful but I'm suggesting if you have a broken heart don't run away from it run into it Alanis Moret old song Quick's way out is in so go into the broken heart and I've

had a broken heart and what I've learned is pain is an incredible purifier And if you actually build intimacy with the pain and the sorrow or the anger or let's say you're an entrepreneur and you're feeling jealous scrolling and seeing other people's amazing lives don't shift to positive thinking that's called denial you'll swallow and repress those emotions and they build into what I call a field of hurt which leads to as you know better than most it leads to infl inflammation it leads to disease Etc process through That pain whether it's jealousy or sadness and

once and and then a time will come where you're you're releasing the emotions and then almost natively and naturally you can go to positivity but it it will come as a process it reminds me a bit of a conversation I had a few weeks ago now with Professor Fred luskin so he is in charge of the Stanford University forgiveness projects he's been studying forgiveness for over 30 years and has shown in his research That being able to move on let go of the past and forgive can help us reduce blood pressure lower anxiety depression help

reduce our perception of pain can help improve the intimacy in our relationships but importantly what he said is that you can't rush it you have to feel the pain first and sometimes it's going to take a year or two years for some of these big traumatic events of people people to actually process and Feel it before you can actually move on to the next age which is learning the skill of letting go so I think that was quite nice how it echoed what what you're saying as well absolutely there's an idea that I think is

very powerful and hopefully it'll bring value to your millions of viewers from around the world which is heal would hurt you so you don't bleed on people who did not cut you and if you're an a rur this is Relevant in productivity we often don't talk about forgiveness but if you haven't forgiven someone one of the first chapters of the wealth money can't buy be not a resentment collector if you're full of resentment well then you have a barrier and a block between intimacy with your creativity productivity and prosperity you can learn all the productivity

hacks and join the 5 a.m. club and have schedules but if deep within you haven't Worked on your emotional architect through the work we're talking about you will always sabotage yourself and I think that's one of the missing links for Elite Performance so many pundits say mindset is everything mindset is everything I think mindset is something but in my work I teach the four interior Empires there's mindset which is our psychology of course that's important you're absolutely right your deepest beliefs Drive your daily behavior and often it's our subconscious belief and our early childhood programs

yeah second interior Empire our heart set so we have a psychology but as a human being you and I have an emotional life so let's purify and work on our hearts set so there's more awe Wonder Grace celebration for other people yeah after mindset and heart set there's Health set we have a physicality energy longevity vital ity and then the fourth Interior Empire Soul set we have a spiritual life whether people want to acknowledge it or not and the good news is more people in the world are embracing spirituality and I'm not at all speaking

about religion I'm simply saying when we were born we have a heroic self this is our truest self this is the voice of wisdom this is how resilient we are this is our loving heart this is intimacy with our gifts and our talents we have a Great inside of us and Society almost stuffs it out of us or programs it out of us and so Soul set is simply building a greater relationship with your heroic self and starting to turn down the voice of your egoic self and when you work on the four interior Empires

you build a relationship with yourself and your relationship with yourself drives every other relationship in your life is that one of the other sort of toxic ideas that out there that the self-help World Sometimes perpetuates this idea that you can always do more you know you can be more productive you can work harder you can hustle through because in some ways that's going to feed our egoic self and not our heroic self right yeah absolutely great connection and and I wish I had said that when you would ask me what are some of the toxic

beliefs I think hustling grinding your way to world class is a deeply toxic belief let's go to the Science if you look for example at the work of the energy project they have found the most productive people are actually like sprinters versus marathoners the research actually shows the most productive people work in intense bursts of Elite Performance and guess what they do after that rest and recover and you're a scientist for sure you know that in rest nonworking in rest and Recovery in true Recreation that is When memories are crystallized that is when new connections

are formed that solve great problems we know that there's a mechanism when you sleep where the brain almost washes itself so rest is not a luxury rest is a necessity so this hustle and grind thing is dangerous and and the wealth money can't buy speaks to a key point which is our societ soety has us hustling grinding to make more money to get more things to get more Likes and it has so many of us climbing Mountain that I humbly predict at the end of a quarter end of a year end of a career end

of a lifetime will make us feel we spend our Finest Hours climbing the wrong mountain is that a mistake you made earlier on in your life yes I was a litigation lawyer I became a litigation lawyer because the world in many ways suggest if you become a professional you're going to wake up Happy so I did a lot of degree I did a master's of law degree I was working at a big firm I was making great money I had a beautiful car beautiful home and the only problem is I'd wake up and I'd look

in the mirror and I didn't like the person who is looking back at me and what's the point of worldly success if you lose your soul in the process makes me think of what Jim Cary said wish everyone could be rich and famous so they'd realize it doesn't make A difference yeah it's a powerful phrase from Jim Cary I wonder sometimes because I've been talking about this idea for a while now as well that success is not necessarily the same thing as happiness it can be if you're very intentional but often if you get seduced

by culture's definition of success perhaps family perhaps societal definition you can often get that level of success sounds like you did as a lawyer yet you find that there's Something missing so it's fascinating for me as to where do these ideas come from and I wonder about your sort of childhoods you know where were your parents from are they from a different country my dad is uh went to medical school in Agra yeah in India in India so he's from the north of India my mom is from Nairobi they met in East Africa I was

born in East Africa and um yeah a family that valued a lot of achievement Yeah very very similar with me and so that Jim Cary phrase I wonder sometimes is it easy to understand that when you've got the success and can say then oh this doesn't make you happy because I'm just trying to play Devil's Advocate there I completely Subs to that view but what if someone is listening to this Robin and they're struggling in their life they don't have enough money let's say they are always wondering about the next paycheck how am I going

to feed my family how am I going to pay the mortgage I wonder how that message lands for that individual compared to someone who has already achieved it well i' have two replies to that ringan the first thing I would say is for 15 plus years I've mentored celebrity billionaires Sports Superstars entertainment royalty heads of state and many of these people have a lot of money but they're cashr life poor Second way I'd offer a response i' offer to your question is the book is based around the eight forms of wealth yeah the fifth for

form of wealth is money yeah I am in no way saying money is in unimportant especially now poly crisis cost of living crisis we all know we all need money to put food on the Family Table to pay for our responsibilities to take care of our families and to do good things for people we need if there's Some left over so there's 25 chapters in the book deconstructing The mentalities habits blueprints of the billionaires I've mentored so I'm not saying money is not important I think it's very important that's why it's the fifth form of

wealth I'm actually not even saying the accumulation of f is wrong I don't know about you but I'd rather stay in a nice hotel room than a flea Bag I'd rather have a you know a comfortable pair of boots than cheap boots yeah so I think as human beings if you like Beauty and I love beauty and we're all sensitive creatures I love flowers and well if you like flowers why not beautiful material things as well so there's nothing wrong with those things I think the danger comes when they become your Gods versus your Masters

and I think the danger comes when you define yourself in the World by your car your things and your money having spent decades working with some of the elite performers and business people in society you've taught those people lots of different things do you think that what you've learned from those guys is applicable to the man or woman on the street or do those guys live completely different lives well I think for in my experience these people have these high Ultra high net worth people have everything that so many people think is success and this

gets back to the cultural hypnosis and it goes very deep it starts off when we're young there's the one of the chapters learn the penum principle those five forces that shape our programming and our filter on which we see the world and starts off very young and so we pedestal the billionaire and the decamillionaire etc etc in my Experience I would say most of these people are on the Mountaintop financially and commercially I'd say most of them money is all they have so many of them they're children won't talk to them so many of them

medicate themselves and various forms to get through their days so many of them have created so much complexity in their life I I've got to tell you two Of the happiest people I've ever met one was my ski instructor when I was in my 40s I I got this idea I wanted to be a level one ski instructor and so I I worked with this amazing ski instructor Sparkle in his ey beautiful family life you just ski in the mountains all day and as we were going up the chairlift one day he said you know

Robin us ski instructors are not rich but we have Rich lives and and I think that's a really Powerful Point that's really what I'm talking about there are seven other forms of riches last night I did a a book event here in London and in the row front row I had my 86 Year my dad will be in June my father and my mother were there W and they've been they live in Toronto they've been here with me all week because I've done media I'm very blessed and grateful to finally meet you I've heard so

much about you and to be on your show but each evening after my Podcast and being on all these shows I go to my parents hotel and we have a a nice meal in the room and you know here's me and my parents they're in their 80s yeah and we're just hanging out laughing thing that is the wealth money can't buy yeah I love that Robin it's such a beautiful image if you flying your parents out here to London they're watching you do a huge talk in London last night going back to your upbringing then

And thank you for sharing where your parents are from a lot of the time certainly in immigrant families to the West there's a huge focus on academic achievement and I completely understand where that comes from a lot of the time IM immigrant families have had to put it with hardship and discrimination all kinds of other things and so they don't want their kids to have to go through that so they the way out for their kids is Excel straight A students be a lawyer Be a doctor be an engineer then you won't have any of

the struggles that we might have had so I completely understand that but as you say as with me it can be toxic sometimes it can lead us down a toxic path not because anyone wanted that for us but just that's because we absorbed that IDE and we ticked all those boxes that were set out for us your parents I'm sure are very proud of you and seeing the impact you're Having on the world what was it like for them though when you were transitioning from Robin sha the lawyer the successful lawyer to Robin sha the

successful you know Guru the successful author the self-help guy well yeah I don't I don't consider myself a girl I have so much work to do I'm a work in progress uh but I've come a long way thanks to my inner work externally my parents were really Supportive but even last night at the at the book event people were asking them like how did you feel mom was I called Mom after the event and she said oh people are so nice to us and they were and they were asking you know what was it like

when Robin was self-publish I started off as a self-published author I printed 5,000 copies I wrote the book the first book the monk who sold his Ferrari in a 24-hour copy shop it just started from incredibly simple Beginnings I I had no idea till yesterday when I was researching for this show that you self-published that I just assumed that that was a big publishing deal with a major publishing house so I had a vision of writing this book I put my heart and my soul in the book self-published it right like we can make excuses

or get results we can't do both and I think in our world right now a lot of us are giving away our power to External conditions and we are being victims and we all can fall into that trap I'm not saying I don't fall into that on some days or at sometimes as well but victims are about CBE complaint blame and excuse and we give away our power and I think if you look at anyone who does something beautifully creative or a great love Enterprise or a great spiritual Affair these people all say say okay

here's the opportunity and I'm going to get the job done as simple as It sounds I'm going to get the job done and when people laugh at you you get the job done and when there's limitations you get the job done you know what made Apple Apple under Steve Jobs is most of his competitors every time there was a vision and the team brought a constraint they diluted the vision to adapt to the constraint if that makes sense what Steve Jobs did for example six weeks before the Apple shipped the iPhone he said you know

I want this Special type of glass on the iPhone six weeks away from Shipping Wow and his team said well there is no glass like this on planet Earth and Steve Jobs wasn't interested in anything but getting the job done and six weeks later coring made the glass and the Apple iPhone shipped with that glass because Steve Jobs wanted the iPhone to be so beautiful people would lick the screen and so the point is I've learned I've learned that you've just whether It's a marathon or healing or starting a business you've just got to get

the job done in this world where so many people are giving away their power and so yes I said I want to write this book I found a 24-hour copy shop I would go in there I had to be at work at 8:00 as a litigation lawyer I was up at 4:00 5:00 I then printed about 5,000 copies you know this you're very successful author but I would leave five copies with the Bookstore on consignment they wouldn't even pay what is Consignment Consignment means we're not going to pay for your book you can sign it

with us we'll put it on the Shelf if it doesn't sell come back Anonymous author and pick up your books we're not going to pay you yeah okay but someone in publishing told me if you sign the books if an author signs the books the bookstore can't return them so I'd go to all the bookstores and I'd be signing the books and one night I Was signing the book and my son called he was about 4 years old at the time signing the books at the front there was a gentleman looking at me and he

goes wow the monk who sold his Ferrari what a great title tell me more I said I'm a litigation lawyer but this is my mission and here's the book and after about five minutes he goes this is really interesting I'm going to give you my card looked at his card Ed Carson president Harper Collins they bought the World rights for $7500 and that book is now sold probably over 10 12 million copies do you believe in fights I believe Heaven helps those who help themselves I believe it's a it's a it's one of the key

philosophical questions isn't it I believe we must do our part we must mine our talents we must turn failure into fuel we must install great habits treat people well do great work and then let go and let God My my mom said it so well I talk a lot in my books about my dad my mom always goes like what about me you know so I'm going to acknowledge mom here on your podcast but she had a great line for me and she said you know Robin what is yours is yours and what is not

meant for you you won't get it so why would you worry about it yeah so I think if if you've done your part you don't get what you want it wasn't for you something even better is Coming well when you were getting up early to print the book and then get to work by 8:00 could we make the case that part of that was hustle culture because you had to hustle because you were where you didn't want to be so temporarily in in order to leave Law and follow your heart and your mission and get

to where you wanted to be you had to hustle and I guess the point I'm trying to get to is is it okay to hustle for a Bit if you need to to change your trajectory is the problem when the hustle culture becomes like everything that you do the first thing I would say is how are we defining hustle culture yeah hustle culture and and I believe you're saying this as well hustle culture doesn't if you're against hustle culture You Are I Am we don't subscribe to it let's say that doesn't mean you don't do

hard work hard work has got a Dirty name in society right now the Taj Mahal was built with hard work the S Chapel ceiling was filled with hard work Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata took hard work JD salinger's Catcher in The Ride took hard work you know all look at all the companies now whether it's Apple Nvidia um Tesla these companies all a great love story I I have a great partner in my life her name is l i i i don't if that's the best example because It's pretty easy with with her and us it's it's

the most remarkable relationship there's not a lot of hard work but you have to put in the effort so I think hustle and grind only becomes toxic when it dominates your life and there are a lot people you see them on the Internet saying I need to put in 16 hours 1 hours a day and outwork everyone around you so hustle and grind culture I believe is unhealthy but no one's saying commitment putting in The Sweat Equity Required but then I go to this in part of my methodology I have a a model called the

Twin cycles of Elite Performance so if you could imagine a circle the first cycle is the high Excellence cycle this is maybe four days a week or it could be a month or it could be a season where you are working on what I call in the wealth money Camp by your Project X your piece of magic where you put it out in the world and it's that one thing that Wows all Witnesses that's the high Excellence cycle but then without the Deep recovery cycle you are going to deplete what I call your assets of

Genius MH so if all you're doing is Ling and grinding you're going to deplete your willpower for example your cognitive bandwidth for example your inspiration your health is going to suffer Etc so I believe a great life is a series of Seasons seasons of working and seasons of resting and recovering and enjoying and those Seasons can take place within a year or even within a day third thing I would say very quickly is I love what gandi said he said I have much to accomplish today therefore I must meditate two hours rather than one so

I think I think it's important to rest and with the rest and Recovery you're going to do even better work and then the final thing I'd say is I don't want anyone to think the wealth money can't buy is about hustling and grinding That's the whole idea of the eight forms of wealth right the the fourth form of wealth is craft that's all about productivity pushing magic into the marketplace finding meaning in your work but what's the second one well Wellness what's the third form of wealth family we're going to get into those but family

what's the seventh form of wealth Adventure so the eight forms of wealth when fed will live you give you your richest life Yeah I I love the way you have almost put a new spin on wealth in the new book because I think if you talk to a lot of people about wealth money is the thing that comes to mind right again that could cultural conditioning I actually looked up wealth in the oo dictionary this morning and there's two definitions but one of them is a plentiful supply of a particularly desirable thing I thought that

definition spoke Beautifully to your book because a plentiful Supply so abundance of a particularly desirable thing so kind of infused within that definition is what do you find desirable right and I think that speaks gorgeously to these eight forms of wealth because if you're only valuing money in your life and not family and craft and community and adventure and service and all these other forms of Wealth that you write about then you're going to go down a path and your actions and your behaviors each day are worshiping the god of money but if you desire

your health and you desire your family you know these are things you value then the meaning of wealth is going to be very different isn't it just taking a quick break to give a shout out to Vivo barefoot shoes now I've been a Huge fan of Vivo baref foots for over 10 years now well before they started supporting my podcast they are the only shoes that I wear and they really have had a huge impact on my own life and the lives of many of my patients you see when people start wearing Minimalist Shoes like

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you make your first order and they make it really easy for you to give Them a try they give a 100 day trial for new customers so if you don't like them you just send them back for a full refund I'm a huge fan I really hope you take advantage of this offer to get your 15% off codes or all you need to do is go to Vivo barfoot.co.nz and it was just this perfect moment and to me that does speak to wealth the wealth of beauty um in the book I one chapter is be

a perfect moment Creator and I think this is a form of wealth According to the def definition you read so eugo Kelly was the CEO of KPMG you know the global accounting Behemoth and one day he walked into his Physician's office to receive the results of a routine medical and the physician came back in the doctor came back in with an expression you never want to see on the doctor's face when you were waiting for your results and the doctor said you have 90 Days left to live approximately you have inoperable brain cancer and sadly

he passed away roughly 90 days later but rangan confronted with his mortality and I'd love to talk a bit more about the power of mortality and intimacy with it but confronted with his mortality he decided to use the business skills he'd used as a corporate Titan and reverse engineer the last 90 days of his life to be what he called a perfect moment Creator because he had realized in all his years as a mogul he had never taken his wife to lunch he had missed Christmas concerts with his daughter and he'd never taken long walks

with his great friends in Central Park and so that's what he did in in an act of w great wisdom in his last 90 days he just looked for these moments that filled him with awe and wonder and joyfulness and peace and so I think that's often worth more than Millions in the bank I mean we remember those things and they stay in our hearts and souls with us much more than any kind of a win and if we go to the science again because again I know you're a scientist look at the work of

son lurki one of the preeminent positive psychologists and she talks about hedonic adaptation yeah and as you know hedonic adaptation means you say oh I wish I had a million you get the million it feels good for a little while and Then it becomes your new normal you say I want to get a Ferrari and then my problems will be all okay you get the Ferrari you drive it around for a while it becomes your new normal and then it becomes a drug of choice and you want the next Ferrari so there's nothing wrong with

having your material Ambitions not at all fifth form of wealth but if we think myself included if we think getting those things will make us feel better I think we're just Mesmerizing ourself and deluding ourselves because the Zen proverb says it really well wherever you go there you are yeah a bad day for the ego is a great day for the soul what does that mean let's say you've had a bad day let's say you've had a bad year let's say you've had a bad decade what does the ego say get me out of this

can't stand this why me why did they do that to Me makes you feel miserable but a bad day for the ego is a great day for the soul because it is our troubles and our tragedies and our difficulties that introduce us to a wisdom when do we read read the wisdom literature khil Jon's the prophet or the wisdom books I don't know about you rungan but when I've been in the seasons of difficulty and in the winters of suffering that's when I go to to wisdom most so we learn wisdom in Difficulty we learn

forgiveness and difficulty we write hundreds of pages in our journals pouring out our pain and confusion in difficulty we ask ourselves the big questions why am I here what's it all about how can I improve yeah we learn self-love in difficulty and we learn how strong we are in difficulty so the ego says troubles and challenges are a bad thing but the soul understands that our problems are incredible teachers there's A chapter in The Wealth money Camp by your herters are your your herters are your helpers that's I think that's the answer yeah I love

that you in fact in that chapter there's this gorgeous bit of writing by standing in the fires of hardship discover the virtues of wisdom tolerance forgiveness resilience and compassion I love that it's beautiful yeah well um first of all I have to appreciate you for your level of preparation which is uh very special and There's a lot of amateurs out there in the world but it inspires me to meet a professional and I believe respect for your work comes from self-respect so I want to appreciate you for that and then I think you're like me

you're you're an aesthet because that was emotional when you read that and I think you know the more we can take off the social mask we wear in the world like most of us feel the world is a pretty scary place and I think what It does is it makes us put on this suit of armor and no one's saying don't be a realist but if we could only take it down like you just did and be moved by Beauty whether it's a passage of writing whether it's a family having a great meal together whether

it's I live in an old Tuscan Farmhouse and I wake up in the morning and the fog is just coming over the hills and I just have my espresso and I just take it in but if we would only be more of our true selves I Think it'd be very powerful um quick story yesterday I was going to get my coffee uh leaving my hotel and there was a gentleman moving one of those garbage bins yeah you know picking up garbage it was early morning and he was singing so I now this might not go

the way you think it's GNA go it sure didn't for me but he was singing and I went wow that's you're I love the way you're singing and he stopped and goes what's the Problem I I was taken back I I said no problem I'm just sincerely saying I like you're singing and then I just beelined out of that situation as quickly as possible to get my coffee and as I was walking I could have felt a lot of rejection but I felt sad and I thought how scared must he be of the world to

be so closed at a sincere compliment what has he endured and and his his default what was his default What's the problem how many problems has he suffered to see an interaction like that as yet another problem yeah and so your hurters are your helpers that chapter in the book it's a bad day for the ego is a great day for the soul the people who break your heart are the people who open your heart if you have The Bravery to let them yeah the chapter straight after that is hang with clowns expect a circus

it's true now well I love the title so can you explain what It is for people well let's again go to the science and I think about Nicholas Christus at Harvard's univ I thought I thought you were going to say the science of clowns then the S signs of clowns no it's it's not a it's not a study but it would be fascinating like what makes people become a clown and what is the psychology of clown um I think about Nicholas Christus at Harvard University and he has found that through and we can get into

it I'm sure you know All about it but through the phenomenon of emotional contagion which simply stated means we adopt the dominant emotions of the people we are around and through a type of brain cell called the mirror neuron which causes us to mimic the people we are around he has found that we actually start to model and behave like our friends but here's what I love we actually not only behave like our friends but the friends of our friends and the friends of our friends Is friends so we become our associations and so hang

with clowns expect a circus it's if you hang with energy vampires if you hang with naysayers if you hang with toxic people if you hang with people who are all about the worst of humanity versus they're interested in Beauty and magic and living a great family life and great spiritual life and building great health and making the world a brighter Place Well hang with clowns you expect a circus and then you can figure out why your life is a mess because you've allowed these people it's not it's it's not all the reasons but one of

the reasons Our Lives get messy is when we let toxic people into our lives and and it's a like it's an act of radical self-growth to ask yourself who are the three people that degrade my joy and who are the three people that elevate my joy and Having the courage to release those Three energy vampires and Dre dream stealers in your life changes your life now people always say but what if it's my mother what if it's my best friend and I would say reason season lifetime some people come into your life for a reason

some for a season some for a lifetime and maybe if your friend isn't growing with you even though they've been your best friend for 10 years love them from afar some people are going to hear that And go that's really really challenging okay I get what you're saying you know there's a there's a video you've got on YouTube six you wish you learned at 20 and the first one was delete people who steal your joy which I think very much speaks to what you've just been talking about as you've acknowledged people will say but it's

my mom it's my dad it's my brother it's my childhood friend do you have any practical advice on how they can Actually do that sure first thing I would do is have a candid conversation sit down with your brother and just and Without Blame say here's how I'm feeling blame someone they're going to go on the defense you want them to hear you here's how I'm feeling I just shared I wanted to run a marathon or I just shared I wanted to start a business or write a book or and you immediately said it's not

Possible or be more practical here and it happens every single time we meet you find something Pro probably not intentional but you find something that makes me feel bad and I just wanted to share that with you and I love you as a brother and I pray there's some way we can find it so we can SP still spend time together but you realize how it makes me feel so that's one way have a great conversation which is really rare yeah we don't know how to a lot of us Don't know how to communicate right

it's like you did this you're a brother you made me feel angry so have a real communic conversation I believe you can say whatever you want to anyone so long as you say it with respect yeah it was so powerful what you said there you're not you're not trying to blame the other person and I think that's the Trap so many people fall into they get agitated they're emotionally triggered and then they have the conversation which just Leads to more emotion more animosity whereas you said just deal with the facts say Hey you know last

week when I shared that with you I noticed that you went to negativity straight away now may not been in your intention you may meant that but to me it comes across as if you're always trying to dampen or pour water on my dreams whatever it might be it's it's a really I think it's a very helpful tip for people so it's it's honoring you it's honoring your Happiness and it's not dishonoring the person who you're speaking with and it can apply in a restaurant as well if the food is bad you don't have to

swallow your disappointment you've paid for the food honor yourself but a lot of self-help people they become very righteous and so they say oh you know I'm going to speak my truth and I can hurt people I think if you're in a restaurant if the salad was a mess it was like soggy from too much vinegar you Could say I'm just off the top of my head you might say I found the this the salad had a little too much vinegar uh and I'd be so grateful if you could bring a fresh salad I hope

that's no trouble and I've never I've never experienced a situation where that's where that's a problem you treat people with respect and it's ever so powerful and then you asked for another for some tips on um the relationship and relieving removing the Dream Steelers and the energy vampires I'd say the second after having a clear conversation is selective Association if after the conversation they continue because they're just being themselves and they don't want to change or they're too scared to change well then honor their Journey everyone's where their at learning where they need to go

they people are doing the best they can do based on the level of Consciousness they're At love them from afar and what does that look like well it could look like rather than texting your brother seven times a day I think we're in a world where there's just too much connection yeah too many conversations too much chatting about every little thing they're like junk Lo great conversations it's just oh I just scratched my stomach I wanted to let you know so you know it it's just and then we wonder why we don't have any free

time well you're Spending all your time telling everyone you're scratching your stomach and putting on a mud mask we don't need to see that thank you and I'm just joking but selective Association see your brother once a week or once a quarter or and if they just are bringing your life down do whatever you want I'm not dogmatic here but you have one life and if someone is really d destroying you and they're toxic and it happens in a lot of relation like Intimate relationships then do that person a favor and do yourself a favor

and get out of that relationship you're well known Robin for starting this 500 a.m. Club movement I know one of your previous Spooks it's the 5 a.m. Club it's spot This Global community of people who are getting up at 5: or getting up early to be intentional about their day what would you say the similarity is Or the connection between the 500 a.m. club and the wealth money can't buy when you get up at 500 a.m. you experience a form of wealth money campy when you get up before the sun in this stage of dramatic

distraction there's such a peace in the air I think that's why the yogis there's you probably know the term in India they call it Brahma MTA Brahma and it's that time between four and six and that's when they believe your mantras are most Powerful because you've cleansed the residue of the day through sleep your prayers are more easily heard and when you read the wisdom scriptures the wisdom goes deeper into your character and into your spirit so I personally now I get up at 4: I think 5:00 a.m. is the minimum viable morning routine and

I can walk you through my morning routine now but I think getting up early sets the tone of the day the Spartan warriors used to say sweat more In training and you'll bleed Less in war but getting up early and writing in a journal getting up early and listening to some music getting up early and praying or walking in the garden you go out into the world and the tone and texture of your day is completely different that's a form it's not one of the eight forms of wealth but if you ask me what's the

linkage I would say that one hour is is is is wealth yeah I mean there's so much to say there the other Link for me is that the wealth money can't buy for me at least is really expanding out our idea of what wealth really means you're saying it's not just money yes that is a form of wealth but it's also other things as well and if you really want to be holistically wealthy authentically wealthy you need to pay attention to all eight of these forms of wealth so for me the link because I'm a

huge fan of getting Up early morning routines as well right so I'm on side already but I think that time to yourself each morning the silence the Solitude you get to know yourself better you get to know when you're overwork or something is off in your life that needs addressing so I think the link is it is a practice that if you do it regularly will help you attain these eight forms of wealth that's the way I see the Linkage but perhaps you see it differently I see it exactly as you see it we will

never rise any higher than we are MH our outer life reflects our inner growth our primary relationship with our self our mindset for interior Empires mindset heart set Health set and soul set call those your character your inner life your intimacy with who you truly are the more you can connect with your gifts and your talents your True Values Your native Powers who you were before the world taught you to dis believe in yourself and become like everyone else you see on the selfie reels the more you can spend time getting to know that person

and building that person the more every other relationship will be transformed as you become stronger more loving more intimate with your gifts the way you deal with your family's different the way you deal with your friends is Different as you take time while the rest of the world is asleep and you inspire yourself you can Inspire your teammates rest of the world is asleep you're up at 5:00 a.m. you're thinking about how you want to live your day what a radical concept thinking about how you want your day to unfold well you'll be kinder to

people in the streets and if you stumble you'll get back up so that hour I call it the victory hour In the 5 AM club book is one hour to make yourself stronger wiser more peaceful more loving more Brave now I'd like to be tactical and offer a tool I call it the five question morning maximizer to make sure you're taking action after watching this video I've created a free guide to help you build healthy habits we can all make short-term change but can those changes become a fundamental part of our life often they don't

and that's why in this Free guide I share with you the six crucial steps you need to take they're really really effective if you want to get hold of that free guide right now all you have to do is click the link in the description box below so let's say you're up what do you do at 5: a.m. we can get into it but first thing you want to do is sweaty exercise it'll release dopamine serotonin norepinephrine which builds Focus B bdnf brain derived neurotropic Factor which promotes neurogenesis the creation of new brain cells helps

you process more quickly Etc so get the exercise done on this book tour I haven't felt like it but after the workout I happy I did it so you're still doing it even on tour Absolut before I came here today the the book The I try to get in bed between 9:30 and 10 these days last night Miel who travels with me you madam we got back to the hotel at let's say 10:15 after the book signing There were a lot of people there we had a quick meal because if I don't have a meal

I'm not going to sleep well but I got up I'm not saying I'm a hero or anything but I got up at 4 445 today and I got into the gym because I needed to do that to be here for you if I missed my workout I wouldn't have the energy and the cognitive ability to show up for you and your people today so I needed to do it and if I the I think one of the only one of the main things that Has got me through these nine weeks at the pace we've kept

is the morning workout so five questions once you've done the workout pull out your Journal have a cup of coffee coffee is a fantastic cognitive enhancer antioxidant first question what am I grateful for we all hear everyone talking about gratitude gratitude is the antidote to fear write down what you're grateful for the Persian proverb says I curse the fact I had no shoes until I Saw the man who had no feet you have a roof over your head you have work that allows you to contribute value you have people who love you you are a

rich person second question where am I winning yeah so for 20 years I've been talking about micro wins 1% wins now this idea is getting very popular which isn't that a wonderful thing because I think people understanding it's what you do each day not what you do every year that makes a difference is Powerful so where am I winning that will give you energy and protect your hope third question what will I let go of this is what we were saying yeah just little paragraph oh let go if the resentment from yesterday or someone I

need to forgive fourth question what does my ideal day ahead look like gives you intentionality yeah fifth question powerful one what do I need to hear at the end you literally connect with your mortality every morning fast forward to The last hour of your last day connect with what you want your loved ones to say write a paragraph on it it helps you live to the point yeah what's so powerful about writing these things down do you think it refocuses your mindset in a world where a lot of us are busy being busy chasing mountains

that might not be the right mountains MH so it gives you focus secondly intentions are Creative that's all I can say like when you write your intentions I want to be more loving I want to execute all my ideas I want to build this business I want to change these lives writing is prayer on paper and prayers are heard yeah and maybe if you don't believe in God I believe prayers are heard by your subconscious mind yeah so I think that's the second thing I think the third thing is you're Doing some emotional healing with

the third question you're letting go what do you do with a therapist you let go that's the whole idea of talk therapy or in part well journaling that third question what will I let go of that is processing you're metabolizing the resentment and the anger you're not holding it out holding it in excuse me you're you're in 60 seconds metabolizing and letting go to heal a wound feel the wound MH and then the final question You're doing something that so few of us do you're connecting to your mortality yeah no I love it and I

totally agree that writing these things down is deceptively powerful I mean people hear this stuff they hear me talking about it they hear you talking about it they'll hear it on Instagram reals on YouTube videos but a lot of people hear it and don't take the next step and take action you know I don't answer those five I have my own three which are which are Quite similar one of them is what you know first one is what do you deeply appreciate about your life second one is what is the most important thing you have

to do today again just brings focus with all the noise with all the busyness it just helps direct my attention as to what is the most important thing and the third question I ask myself is what quality do you want to showcase to the world today love it again very similar in themes to to to the five that you ask Yourself right but I guess again trying to connect the dotts between the Fire end club and the wealth money can't buy I'm looking at those eight forms of wealth in front of me and it directly

directly speaks to the first two growth and wellness because if you're having that 1 hour Victory hour as you call it every morning you are doing daily self-improvement you are doing a level Of personal growth in that Victory hour you're also massively helping your Wellness you know working out in that picture hour you are journaling which we know can improve our mood lower anxiety lower depression improve decision making you know increase the chance of us sticking to those healthy behaviors that we want to stick to so actually I think on every level you can connect

the 5 a.m. club with the wealth money can't buy and it fits together very neatly Like a glove I would say that's it's really interesting no one's done that on this tour I would say you're right and I would say the 5 a.m. Club is like base camp on a climb to Mount Everest the 5 a.m. Club is about your morning routine that first hour and billing yourself and the wealth money Camp buy is all about how do you make the climb to Mount Everest what are the elements the another way to look at it

the 5m club is about your inner world And the wealth money can't buy is how do you find true worldly success and real wealth out into the world having said that the starting the first form of wealth is growth it is personal development I think I think you know again Society doesn't say that and correct me if I'm wrong please rangan but Society doesn't say he meditates and she journals and this person reads the wisdom literature this person goes for walks every day at the end of the day And reflect on how they're living this

person's been in a sweat lodge this person is doing emotional healing wow they're really rich you don't hear that but what a currency to release your limitations and insecurities and your fears and your faults and take back your true power that you were born into to build greater awareness of how strong you are your gifts where you want to go in your lifetime To to make yourself more heroic wise loving isn't that a form of wealth our society should be celebrating from the mountain tops and what would the world look like mother traca said it

well she said if everyone could only sweep their own doorstep the whole world would be clean yeah that's brilliant isn't it absolutely brilliant you call it the victory hour there's a lot of busy mothers who listens to this Podcast and sometimes I'll see comments online about morning routines from a of different people but some people will say I'm too busy or you don't understand my life I've got lots of stuff going on I'm a mother I've got to look after the kids get them ready for school I don't have time for a 1our morning routine

I know what I think about that question I'm very interested as to your thoughts because I'm guessing you must Have had some push back against the 500 a.m. club and I'm interested as to first of all how you would answer that question but B you know what is some of the push back that you've received and how do you counter at it sure I think it's it's very it's a very fair point what I hear is some people saying I'm a new parent and it's very hard I also get I do shift work it's so

sincere like they want they want to join the 5 amm Club they just say I Have I'm a shift worker how do I do it so the first thing I'd say is I'm not interested in in saying you need to do this if you want to experience the wonders of the 5m club test it and do it for a month and see if it's for you but I would say stay open to it vers because if you're not and someone says let's go get Vietnamese food and usually you eat Italian food you might miss your

new favorite food and if you don't test it out I'm not talking for a week test it Out for a month until you reach that point of automaticity and fluency with the new habit of getting up before the sun you you might miss something that changes your life last night at the book signing I had so many people coming up to me saying the 5 AM Club changed my life there's one gentleman in particular and he moved me he said I was a drug addict I read the 5 amm Club I've launched my own business

he said I made a 100,000 Profit last year so try it if it's not for you hey we can still be friends be a night owl no sweat then yes I totally hear the parent issue but I just must report truth there's a lot of parents who say I do the 5 a.m Club they just work around it and maybe it's three times a week not seven days a week maybe one parent if it's if it's two people maybe one parent takes care of the child on three days a week like so I hear the

resistance but I also out of Love and respect must say if you repeat your excuses long enough you're actually going to hypnotize yourself to think they are true and we don't just do it with the 500 a.m. club we say well I hear you that this is a great time to launch a business but here's why I can't and they actually believe they can't but people are launching a business every day and other people say well I hear you ranging that I should find I I can find true love or work on my Wellness but

I'm Too busy right now and what are we so busy with often you look at some of these people making the excuse and they're on their phones half the day let's go to the the research on an average day the average human is using their phone 4.37 hours a day that's three months a year playing looking at influencers and people dancing to hip-hop songs with their families at the dinner table that's three months a year did you know that 75% of human beings check their phone within the first 10 minutes of waking up not meditating

not visualizing not praying not doing Journal prompts they're on their phone so and what's the negative of that someone's saying okay Robin sure great question what's the what's the downside of that why can't I well not why can't I because obviously Everyone's entitled to live their life how they wish to live it absolutely but every Action has a consequence so if someone says to you Robin you you've you've helped so many Elite performers around the world live healthier and happier and more productive lives what's the problem with me within 10 minutes of waking up looking

at my phone or what is the consequence of that what do you say to them attention residue so there's been research that says we wake up with a full well of focus yeah and every time we focus on The phone or focus on a TV show or whatever we take some of the fresh attention we woke up with and we leave it on the phone so I think then we wonder why we have no focus and presence for our family for the special moments in our day for our work and we can't focus on getting

the things done second thing I would say a problem checking your phone first thing in the morning is what do what do so many of us do we check the news we we check our email we Check our notifications and then we get pulled in and it's an hour later and in a lot of cases we lost an hour of our Lives we'll never get back by watching things that were superficial and often destructive like when I go in the gym in these hotels no pretty much no one's there I turn off all the TVs

so so I think that's I don't like the word problem but I think that's the problem checking your phone first thing in the morning if you want a great day why Would you start it like that yeah I I completely agree I mean these things are so addictive that unless you keep it out of your room it's very very hard not to look at it the other thing for me first of all I love that term attention residue I think it's such a gorgeous term that really says so much it's really evocative the other way

I look at the problems or the potential problems with looking at phones and Emails and doesn't matter what you're looking at on it first thing in the morning is that so much of what we think so many of our behaviors our feelings our thoughts are Downstream of the content we consume so if you wake up and let's say you don't have long let's say someone goes you know 1 hour no chance okay what I say to them what I've said to patients for many years is can you do five minutes can you do 10 minutes

because Even five or 10 minutes of intentionality first thing in the morning I have seen can make a big difference now I'm a fan of Victory hours right I do live life in a way where I create that space in the morning for me but I appreciate not everyone either feels that they can yet or maybe they want to start small but it is a magic they're magical minutes the first few minutes after you wake up the first 5 10 15 20 minutes if you can stop putting in nonsense comments on Instagram and negative news

is it a surprise to you that you're reactive with your partner and your kids and your colleagues an hour later when you're with them you know should that should that really be a surprise to anyone if you spent time investing in yourself and you're allowing your own thoughts to come up and you journal and you work out you move your body whatever that may Look like for you I don't think it takes a rocket scientist to kind of understand that you are going to show up as a better human being in every aspect of your

life that day three three replies again we're singing from the same song book and I would say be selfish to anyone who pushed back I'd say be selfish and what I mean by that is once you do it and do it for let's say three weeks four weeks we could go To the research of University College London 66 days to install a new skill and anyone who says oh well I can't get up at 5:00 a.m. or I can't journal or I can't workout or I can't can't read every night I would say you have

a gift every human being has a gift and the gift of the human brain is the gift of neuroplasticity we all are geniuses on in this world we have neuroplasticity which is the brain's ability to adapt to new con conditions so we all we're meant To grow so why would I say be selfish I would say by taking the time for a strong morning routine it's so good for you it will make you so much more inspired that's good for you versus building someone else's dreams by reading something great it's good for you you'll build

wisdom you'll understand how to do life even better by doing what I call MVP in my methodology meditation visualization and prayer You'll live longer you'll have more energies you'll extend your teirs or prevent them from shortening which as you know is one of the key markers of true aging so be selfish second thing I would say in the book before the wealth money Camp ey it was called the everyday hero Manifesto and one of the chapters was the practice the IOP principle what's the IOP principle input positivity output positivity input input positivity Output positivity okay

input input positivity so now some of you're listeners I don't think many but might say okay now let's metaphor virtually hold hands and sing Kumbaya but but I think when you it's remarkable when you stop when you watch the news less when you stop following toic influencers or people who are putting people down versus lifting people up when you clean up your spaces so their the light is better maybe put Some flowers in your house put away the talk toxic or negative magazines online or offline and read psychology read history read poetry read of art

go to an art gallery I love coming to London I spend a lot of time in art galleries I pop input po positivity into your system and not remarkably you're going to Output positivity and then the third thing I would say is we get from Life what we settle for not what we want so victim are about CBE complain Blame excuse the world is bad poly crisis my childhood was hard I think the past is a school to be learned from not a prison to be locked in and so we get from life not what

we want but what we settle for so if we settle for negative information first thing in the morning because you you've mentioned morning routine well then let's not be surprised if our habit it actually a non-m morning routine is a Routine and if it's watching news and checking your feeds and Etc then please don't be surprised if your day is is more negative you don't have as much energy you've lot of Sparkle in your eye your creativity is low you're not productive and when you join the 5 AM Club it creates this and I'm not

I'm not selling anyone on it don't do it if you don't want to do it yeah right that's absolutely fine with me I'm just here to serve but it creates an upward spiral of Success because you've had a great morning now you're better in the day but it also builds discipline because you did the workout so you eat better at lunch you feel better in the afternoon because you feel better in the afternoon you're more joyful with your family and rather than watching three hours of a of mindless entertainment you have the energy and the

focus and the enthusiasm to read something great and so you sleep well and you wake up the next morning And it just and your days are your life in miniature so as you live each day so you craft the life yeah love that if you enjoyed this video I think you are really going to enjoy my new book happy Minds happy life the new science of mental well-being I've been practicing DOA for over 20 years now and I can tell you there's a very strong link between happiness and health happier people are healthier and they

live longer now happiness is actually a Trainable skill that all of us can get better at once we know what to work on and that's what my book is about all the simple free tools that you can use in your life to help you feel calmer more content more in control yes happier but also healthier you can order the book right now all you have to do is click the link in the description box below we've covered a lot of the eight forms of wealth in our conversation so far but I thought we could directly

go to some Of the chapters in the book now Robin sure um I picked out a few of my favorite bits and you know I'm I'm very happy to share some of your favorite bits but the the book is split up into eight parts like these eight forms of wealth could you just give us all eight and give us a a brief overview of what they all mean and then I'll sort of pick out some of my favorites of course the first form of wealth is growth developing Yourself is a currency money campy second form

of wealth Wellness your health someone once taught me health is the crown on the well person head that only the ill person can see M if you have good health it's human nature we take it for granted until we lose it third form of wealth family and friends happy home happy life fourth form of wealth our craft a job is only a job if we see it as a job all work contains meaning the ability to serve The ability to do amazing things fifth form of wealth money money is important it's a form of wealth

it's something it's not everything sixth form of wealth our community these are our associations we become like the people we are around seventh form of wealth Adventure it's about not losing the sparkle in your eye you had as a kid when you were ready to take on the world and the eighth form of wealth Service finding a way each day to make the lives of other people a little better yeah great summary okay so let's start with uh the first form of wealth growth the daily self-improvement habits this this one I really like stop saying

these two bad words that was that I wrote that down stop saying I'll try basically why is that important there's so many times when we get a great idea and we say oh that's a Great idea try read this book watch this film try this routine seize this opportunity huh good I'll try I'll try are two dirty words I believe I'll try means I'm not really interested I'll try means I'm scared I'll try means I won't hold myself accountable I'll try means I have an escape root Yoda said it well he said there is Du

or not to do there is no try so I would encourage anyone strip Out all try if you're not interested don't do it but if you're interested get the job done yeah the human who reads the most wins it's all about reading isn't it absolutely Babble it's a great acronym book buying Beyond lifetime expectancy book buying Beyond lifetime expectancy Babble buy more books Than You'll I don't know about you there's there's a I I don't know if I can mention the name of the bookstore I Probably can here in London I love hatchards so when

I land from Heathrow for example I will check into the hotel take a quick shower and beine over to hatchards or hatchards as they say here and I just love getting lost in the books and I walk out with armfuls with books and Plato said it well he said a home with books is a home with soul so let's put put down our phones for a while and read read something that will enrich you inspire you show you new Possibilities because reading is having a conversation with the author yeah do you read every day every

day and I love audiobooks one of the tools that I teach is walking University so I'll go for part of my afternoon routine after I finished my creative work I'll go for a 1H hour nature walk and I almost always listen to a podcast or an audio book an AUD walking University audiobooks are so powerful yeah a lot of people love audiobooks don't they I mean I like Listening to podcasts I for me personally I prefer reading the real hard copy of a book but I love listening to podcasts but I know many people won't

read books anymore they're just listen to audio books absolutely and I would say if there is a book that really resonates with you get both versions yeah so listen to the Audi book because it's easy to consume listen to it a few times if it's a great book listen to it 10 times and then study the book as well Yeah the next area of wealth is Wellness we've touched on a few things what is one of your favorite chapters in the section on Wellness practice the naked sunbathing rule which I'm not going to get into

no I'm just joking but you know it's all about sunshine vitamin D reducing inflammation another chapter in The Wellness section the second form of wealth is take a bath in a forest yeah and that's shinrin Yoku which is the Japanese habit of forest bathing yeah And again we're in London I love going to Green Park or any park yeah but things are okay when you commune with nature and if you just smell the flowers and look at the trees it just calms you down so I think that's one of my favorite chapters in the section

there's a there's a chance there called health of your mind and you talk about these four positivity practices which I thought was really useful first one being how could this be Worse yes if there's a problem ask yourself has anyone died here if no one has died it gives you perspective yeah second one there was get good at savoring what's that about positive psychologists will tell you that the world's happiest people based on scientific research Savor so you're having your your morning coffee it's so easy for us to be looking at our phone and drinking

slurps of coffee maybe put down the phone put on Some nice music and take even five minutes and Savor the coffee be fully present taste how how it feels appreciate the texture say if you're with the conversations I've had with my parents M rather than being my mind being on other things Savor the fact I'm with my my parents in their 80s and we are having a meal together look around listen to their stories savoring is so powerful you know even if we're walking to work Often we're caught up in our own thinking Savor the

walk Savor the fresh air look around the city yeah as we go through these eight forms of wealth Robin I'm wondering are there any that speak to you that you wish you knew earlier on in life I would say some of the cautionary tales in the book about relationships I wish I learned earlier uh one idea is a red flag is a red flag and you could use Many years of your life or lose many years of your life thinking it's green what does that mean well Maya Angelou said it far better than I ever

could she said when people show you who they are believe them and so how often do we meet someone at work or in a personal relationship and they they show us their red flags they show us concerning Behavior M but we ignore It and so the red flag was there because we ignored it it C created a lot of problems is that because we're too busy and it's easier just to ignore it and keep going on with our lives I think it's wishful thinking often we want people to be who we hope they are versus

being realists happens a lot in Intimate Relationships yeah we see the red flags we want the relationship To work out we ignore the concerns we go deeper and deeper and deeper the initial red flag behavior is part of a pattern it just continues and makes things worse and then we get intertwined and in meshed in the relationship and often it can be hard to get out of it let's say [Music] someone gets the book The Wealth money can't buy and starts to Apply these principles in their own life every period of weeks months and years

how does one know when they are wealthy you'll know when you know sometimes people say ask me you know how do I know if it's true love you'll know when you know yeah how do I know if this is the right career path for me you'll know when you know yeah so I would say firstly how do we know we're living the eight forms of wealth you Have Serenity I think Serenity is the new luxury you'll have Serenity you'll have a sense does it mean your life will be perfect my life isn't [Music] perfect yet

I've come a long way over 40 years of doing this personal development work I'm I'm I've come a lot farther than where I used to be yeah so that's the pay things that used to activate you or bother you you can't believe it wow I just noticed that doesn't bother me Anymore it's the most incredible feeling isn't it when you think wow 10 years ago that would have really bothered me for days weeks maybe longer and now like you can just see it for being nothing it's just neutral I guess for me one of the

big realizations on this self-development journey is when you not only you know but you feel it as well that I have a choice in how I react to every single situation for me that's been huge to Know that you are in charge here I think it speaks to what you were saying before you mentioned CBE complaints blames and excuses exactly I think in the book you compare it to APR is that right absolutely victims are about you can tell a victim because they give away their power to make changes in the things they don't like

and they're all about CBE complaining blaming and excusing I didn't do that I can't it's because of my parents become of my boss It's blaming CBE leadership is about APR absolute personal responsibility what am I doing to create this what are my choices oh I don't like this job I can leave it oh this relationship isn't inspiring me it's like a dramatic relationship there's too much drama it's I can leave and I will leave so I think that's really EMP power important not to give away your power in the final section which is on Service

the two that have come to mind there are number one do three acts of service I think that's per day and one of your finishing chapter say live fully so you can die empty could you speak to those two please sure or well I think about po Gasol he was the center of the LA Lakers he came to one of my Live Events and we spent a weekend at the event and then I drove him to the airport to catch his flight back to Los Angeles and rangan when he Was walking through the airport people

were coming to him little kids wanted pictures adults wanted signatures people wanted to greet him and say oh you're our hero and as he walked through the airport he stopped for every single person who came to him and when we got to his gate I said paw like you stopped for everyone and you were fully present what's your approach and he said Robin said something I've never Forgotten he said Robin it takes so little to make someone happy and that has been a core rule like if I'm staying at a hotel on this book tour

and I go to a coffee shop how little does it take to buy two extra Panos shalas and drop them off to the people working at the front door it takes so little to make someone happy this might sound weird but I take the and I'm not saying I'm perfect I'm no guru but it's a Practice I take the towels from the shower and I put them in the bathtub I make my bed and I make sure the room is clean for the housekeeper coming in because because this is another human being who do and

a nice tip on the bed this is an act of respect for another human being and so it's it takes so little to even like I mentioned the gentleman on the street to say hey I love your song but we can give gifts each day and the great thing is when you Give these gifts you give a gift to the person but you give a gift to yourself I've heard you describe what you do in hotel rooms before and I absolutely love it I remember hearing it and sharing with my wife this idea that I

think in the conversation I heard you talk about it last you said when you leave a hotel room for the day or you're checking out or whatever you make sure you leave it relatively tidy because the Person coming in to clean it is someone else's father or someone else's mother and that really really spoke to me and it made me think of all kinds of things in particular the way you do the Small Things is how you kind of do everything you know it's so easy some people will say Robin well yeah but I pay

for this hotel room and there's housekeeping coming in you know why does it matter how I leave that room but I think it's Really lovely the way you articulated that well I would say it's easy to say no no one will see it but your greatest self sees everything that you do so you make the bed you leave the sink clean you know first of all you're respecting the hotel that someone owns I know this sounds strange but this is someone's property and by respecting it and by respecting the person who's going to clean the

room you're not only respecting them you're actually doing Training I think this is a key point I hope you're training yourself for self-respect the more you respect others the more you'll respect yourself the more self respect you build M the more you'll respect your family your health what you eat the quality of your work your words the way you live your life yeah I love it honestly one of the most powerful things I've heard in a while great um what about that chat to live Fully so you can die anty what's that about so even

the longest life is a very short ride and people don't like talking about death so I don't want to I don't want you to lose millions of followers but I think death is not negative I think death is a great tool of inspiration and human beings as species we're just great postponers we we are massive postponers spend more time with the family when I Finish this work project get fit when things are are easier read the classics when I retire visit patano or Bogata or Vietnam when things are ideal the Chinese say the best time

to plant a tree was 20 years ago the second best time is now and so by connecting to the shortness of life and realizing I could die walking out of the studio just accident pandemic War loss illness tragedy is it's just it happens every day but we have a cognitive bias Do we not it's not going to happen us so realizing that is part of life and we could go tomorrow but also realizing even a Long human life a long Rich beautiful creative productive Soulful life but even that is a very short right and before

we know we're all going to be dust probably in a ear on a mantle above a fireplace next to football trophies and no one's going to really think about us except for our family and Our friends and once you connect with the shortness of life then I think you start to live to the point and you start to strip away accessories and you put down I'm I'm not against phone I love technology I think it's a great servant a terrible God but you you stop being busy being busy and you start saying okay what are

my personal mount everestsolar [Music] inspiring work for years I mean I don't Know if we can even count how many millions of people you have communicated with and touched over the past two or three decades it really is quite incredible for someone who perhaps is new to your work who has just come across it today listening or watching this podcast right now and thinks hey you know what I need to make some changes in my life my life is a bit unbalanced I've been overly prioritizing one of these forms of wealth at the Expense of

some of the others but I don't know where to start what would you say to them I would say the best place to start is just to start don't complicate it how do you start the next bestselling book you write a page how do you start a marathon the first walk how do you start a a life transformation process you ask yourself what's the best thing I heard R and Robin say oh that resonated with me I'm going to start applying it today and Continue with that one commitment in the sun in the rain when

you're scared when you're strong and what starts to happen is the more you stay with that commitment the stronger you grow second thing I'd say is forgive yourself your past serve you and got you to right here so don't beat yourself up if you're 45 65 85 everything I I think everything is Grist for the mil I wouldn't be who I am but for Everything I've gone through you wouldn't be who you are it was all it was all good let's not beat ourselves up for our past mistakes they were essential to sculpt us and

make us into who we are today yeah I love that great advice Robin the new book The Wealth money can't buy the Eight's hidden habits to live your richest life thank you very much for coming on the show really an honor and I want to appreciate you for the millions of people you Inspire and for how sincere and well prepared you are and how humble you are um this been one of the the most enjoyable interviews I've done in a long time so thank you ah thanks I appreciate that great if that conversation resonated with

you here is another incredibly powerful one that I really think you're going to enjoy give it a click if you actually went to the happiness gym several times a week you will actually have a happier life right And the happiness gym is very straightforward it's a set of skills H that you need to practice