Promising Young Woman | "You Must Want Something"

What's this? Mom, what's this? >> What do you mean?

>> This gift. It's your birthday, Cassie. Oh, yeah.

What kind of kind of person forgets their 30th birthday? >> Sweetheart, come on. Don't.

>> Don't, Stanley. You know, please don't. >> It was just a mistake, Mom.

You know, I'm terrible with dates. It's not a big deal. >> Not a big deal.

Not a big deal. You You just forgot your birthday. You don't want to have a party.

You don't want to see your friends. >> You know I don't have any friends. Mom, >> don't choke about it.

Don't. >> Do you know how strange this is? You You're still living here at home, working in that stupid coffee shop since you and Nina dropped out of med school.

You're out all night long doing God only knows what. And you don't have any boyfriend. You don't have any friends.

>> Mom, you should have saved all that for my birthday card. >> Why don't we just let the kids celebrate however she wants? Okay.

All my friends, they ask about you. I I I don't know what to tell them. I I don't know what happened here.

I don't you just open your present there, Cass. Okay. Go ahead.

[Applause] Hope you like it. >> Thank you. >> Wa.

>> Yeah, >> that's direct. >> A real kick in the >> Is it a nice suitcase at least? >> Oh, yeah.

It's definitely the fanciest get the out of our house metaphor I've received so far. >> So why don't you >> what? >> Get the out of their house.

Just I don't know, go on Zillow or single wife female some girl. Get a basement room in some weird guy's house. Anything.

>> Can't afford it, Gail. Not on what you pay me. Not even a weird guy's basement.

>> So take this other job then. Take any job. >> Are you firing me?

>> Maybe I should. Look, you're making the assumption that I want any of it. If I wanted a boyfriend and a yoga class and a house and kids and a job my mom could brag about, I'd have done it.

It would take me 10 minutes. I don't want it. I don't want it.

>> But you must want something. >> Hey. >> Oh, you.

Hi. >> One coffee. Hold the spit.

She spat at my coffee last time. I'm back because um I think you gave me a a fake number the other day. It >> doesn't sound like me.

>> I know. So, I spent a few hours composing a like very witty, very romantic text and then I sent that text to an oil rig worker called Red. >> Was he into it?

>> Surprisingly into it. It was like immediately inappropriate, but it's not going to work out because of the oil rig. So, I thought I'd try you again.

>> I just heard a phone ring in the back. >> I most definitely heard a phone ring in the back. >> She has to take a few imaginary calls a day.

>> Um, look, if you're not into this, totally get it. >> I'm not really looking to date anyone at the moment. >> Right.

Yeah. Me neither. Would you be interested in a friendship?

And I'm secretly pining for you the whole time. >> Dating's horrible. Everyone's horrible.

Okay? I went on a date last month with a woman who wanted to euthanize the homeless. >> You went on a date with my mom.

>> Look, I always liked you at med school, okay? I genuinely like you, and I can't stop thinking about you spitting in my coffee. So, go to lunch with me this weekend, please.

If you don't like it, we can have a safe word and you can leave, no questions asked. >> Not that you mind the killings. Your book is full of killings.

>> But there are things you do hate, Lord. Perfume smelling things, lacy things, things with curly hair. >> Hey, you're all dressed up.

Where are you going? I'm going out for lunch >> with who? >> Lord, I am tired.

>> A friend? >> Cassie, >> sometimes I wonder if you really understand. >> You look very pretty, honey.

>> Thank you, Dad. >> Where? Where did she get her skeleton's head?

>> She got it. It was her It was her grandfather's. No, it was she got it from the staff room.

The worst part is she looked me in the eye, pulled it out, and then waved it at me. >> And I am done. >> And I'm wondering why I told that story.

>> Hey, there is nothing more romantic than a disturbed woman pulling a skeleton's hand out of her vagina. >> That's true. That's very true.

>> No one ever pulls anything out of anywhere where I work. >> Rice, you didn't want to >> what? >> Carry on with med school or >> No.

>> Really? Why not? I wanted to do something else.

>> What? >> I don't know. >> You were so good though.

You knew everything. You >> I didn't know everything. >> You did.

You were incredible. I was I was awful. I remember I removed the wrong kidney from my cadaavver.

>> And look at you now operating on children. >> Yes, I got better. Thank God.

But you you were way ahead of everybody. You you would have been a great doctor. just didn't want it enough, I guess.

>> Um, you want to get coffee or something? We um we have some time before the movie. I can tell you about the guy who got his trapped in a tambourine.

Oh my god. Do you think people think you're my daughter from behind? Because of the height.

The height. I'm saying it's like a fear I have in public if I'm with a woman. My fear is that like if I kiss her like people will be like stop kissing that child.

I shouldn't yell this part but >> I mean try not being so tall maybe. >> Yeah. >> Yes.

>> Kind of flashy. >> Whoa. This is This is a weird coincidence.

>> What? >> I think No. Yeah, this is my apartment.

What a weird weird coincidence. >> Yeah. Do you want to I mean we're here.

Do you want to go up have a drink or >> Sure, why not? >> Too soon. Sorry.

I wasn't >> No, let's go upstairs. >> I don't want to go up if you don't want to. I I misread things.

I'll I'll drive you home. >> You know what? You're at your place.

I can call a cap. >> Are you sure? >> Sure.

>> Okay. I feel like I this up. No, >> it's not you.