900. Doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results (with Amber & Paul)

Hello everyone welcome back to Luke's English podcast who whoop uh this is episode 900 900 900 this is where we fire Party Poppers which I forgot to purchase fireworks oh nice fireworks sound effects this morning I thought I must buy some I must go to a shop and buy some party poppers and glitter and stuff so that at the beginning we can pop the Party poppers and feston this room with it been a mess it would have been a mess not glitter never glitter GL a terrible reget that I hate glitter for months it makes

me sound such a killjoy that I hate glitter but there are a few this is because uh you know my children play with certain things there are certain things that kids play with that I just can't stand glitter is one of them I don't like um I don't like paint actually no it's just too much The reason people hate glitter is the same reason I hate sand and beaches and Beach holidays I freaking [ __ ] hate it I can't it's just it's it gets everywhere and I there's just no way of of living a

week without if you're on if you're at a beach destination like it's everywhere it's in the car it's in the every it's just in everything you find it in the fridge I'm like how did sand get in the fridge because obviously we took the the little apple juice for the Little one to the beach and it fell over in the sand and we put it back in the bag and now it's back in the fridge with more sand I I I cannot stand sand which is it's the same with glitter it's like do you would

you enjoy rolling around in glitter all day no cuz you could never get it off and that's why I hate sand okay you sound like Anakin Skywalker by the way what you mean famously hated sand as well yeah this is Darth Vader there's a famous scene in in the second Star Wars film it's this famously terrible bit of script writing where where he's going I hate sand he's talking to he's talking to Padme you know he's talking to his love interests and they're in a very romantic location and he's saying he's talking about his home

planet which is like a desert Planet com in sand I hate sand it's coarse and rough and it gets everywhere he says suggestively to his love interest and she sort of like looks at Him awkwardly it's suppos to yeah it's supposed to be romantic and even suggestive but it's just like oh my god really it gets everywhere does it really tell us don't actually don't tell us more about where it gets yeah yeah that sounds bad yeah especially if if you're Darth Vader and you're wearing that big suit yeah you almost sounded like Liam niss

trying to be Darth Vader there I hate sounded it's course and green that gets Everywhere Liam n would have been a good Darth Vader to be fair maybe yeah he's too smiley you reck what Liam he's got he has yeah he doesn't smile a lot in the films when he does you're like oh there's the charm he does smile he's Irish did you see him in Dairy girls I didn't see Dar girls he was good yeah he's always good to watch it have you seen him there was a he where he did a parody of

himself I don't know in what context it was but it's like on a Ricky Jaas thing where he shows up to Ricky ja's office and they're trying to get him the I can't remember the pitch but they're trying to get him to be an extra in one of his it's so it's it's from it's from um Life's Too Short where Ricky and uh Steven Merchant are running talent agency and um Liam niss is booked to to come in and talk to them and he comes in and he's you know obviously Liam n very serious he

was like I want to change career I want to start doing Comedy and they're like really really yeah what what kind of comedy sketches Impressions you know and then they do like a little sketch together it's very funny it's really it's so awkward it's like it's proper Ricky jaase awkward I watch like episode or two of the office uh the other day cuz I've got an interview in a couple next week about the office and it's so painfully awkward yeah that it's it's just that British sense of humor of just like we love Everything that's

awkward it's a tragedy it's not a comedy but the office is so good but it is a show you can only watch one episode you can't you can't binge it it's too unpleasant you can watch one and then you kind of need to recover it's why the Americans had to redo it cuz it was so awkward I think it's true you can watch a couple of the American ones it's much more enjoyable like you know digestible I mean I love the British one the first season of the American office was much closer to the British

version and it bombed and so they had to change it and I think in the second season they fixed a lot of things they made it more upbeat a lot more positive it's good I think that the American office is really good but they are different shows completely different shows but I I mean I love the American office I think it's great as well yeah yeah me too me too so it's episode 900 yeah Congratulations by the way yeah Thanks I mean what I mean so hold on 900 how how long have you been going

since 2008 2009 So it's 15 over 15 years now 16 years yes yes yes it's actually more than 900 episodes technically there are some episodes in there that don't have numbers for one reason or another so it's like it's 914 episodes in fact and if you're a premium subscriber hello it's 11 thou 1121 1,121 episodes um including the premium episodes look at you that's impressive Yeah well yeah I Suppose so it just means that you know I just haven't I've just continued doing it but what's that I was thinking what's that uh that definition of

Madness you know the one you keep going just keep doing the same thing and expect a different result yeah but I guess it which is not a medical definition of Madness is it I mean that's not how it's defined but no I've heard that in the context of when when was the most recent time I heard that recently that phrase Of so let's just say it again so some people say that Madness mean is doing the same thing again again and again and expecting a different result each time yeah and then just continuing although to

be fair I've never expect a different result I just kind of quite happy with the same result every time from doing well it's I heard it in the context of running okay I was about to say it's a it's a marathon not a Sprint for Luke podcasting oh all the seg transition Between the marathon transition because we will be talking about Marathon uh yeah but I did when when we were yeah if you want like when we were running when I was running it was that thing of like when people um cuz I follow a

couple of people online who have like running tips and one of the that was the phrase that came up where there's people who you know who are training for like a 5 kilm race and like I can't get under 25 minutes I can't do it I don't know What's going on and the person's like it's because you're doing the same thing you're training in the same way and expecting a different result like you need to change your training you need to eat differently you need to do different workouts and in that you'll see the the

the the the change from there but you can't keep just running three times a week at the same the same way you have always been running and expect it to to to to to change so yeah it's a it's uh It's an interesting uh I I I actually really like that phrase it applies to learning languages as well I suppose doesn't it if your method that whatever it is you're doing is not working then you need to just examine what you're doing and make some changes and stuff exactly um to many things it does doesn't

it yeah being a parent kind of I mean it does and it doesn't in some ways because there is another side to that which is you know you got to keep Practicing and you do keep doing it and doing it and doing it and then one day it clicks as well I mean there is yeah like there is a moment where you're like oh now I've got it but you just needed to do it that many times before you could do it you know like riding a bike like you know your kids are going to

fall off and then they fall off until they don't yeah and then then then got it yeah soit of both there's something to be said for just persevering Absolutely keeping going even when you feel like often when you feel like it's it's time to quit that's actually you're just at a precipice or just at a moment before you're going to make a big step but I guess it's like slightly CH like if you learning to ride a bike and you can't get the balance right but you're not learning from why you fell over it's like

stand as well every time you've been on stage like you see you know the amount of times where you'll see Somebody from 10 years ago doing the same jokes as they were 10 years ago and still dying on stage and no one's laughing except the comedians at the back because we're all laughing at how that person who we like is dying on stage still after 10 years CU they're doing the same jokes in the same way and they they're expecting a different result they're expecting to get better just by doing the same jokes rather than

going maybe If I change the wording on that a little bit the intonation or something but yeah there is definitely a case for doing things over it like I guess like cooking as well it's the same thing like oh my cake still tastes like crap well why don't you I guess I'll just keep putting tons of salt in it this is the name of the episode is can't be the salt can it the name of the episode should be whatever the thing is what we that the the phrase Madness is just doing the Same thing

over and over again and expecting different results well hold 900 cuz it's going to be 900 doing the same thing over and over again doing 900 times and expecting a different thing is though I'm not expecting a different result I'm like just yeah I quite happily just maintain the same results that I'm getting what results are you the one million people I me is it one million people I'm not expecting different results so you're getting the Results you expect I I get the yeah exactly yeah I'm getting the respect I I I we're getting ourselves

confused you're getting hit on by three Korean ladies at the Korean restaurant that we just ate at where they're like oh 1.2 million oh and they got excited oh they were excited about that yeah yeah yeah congratulations thanks I don't they don't they don't give me a discount or anything they just get excited and then they're like okay well that's €60 Please okay okay they got business to run was0 what and she started calculating like hold on it's 1250 it felt a bit pricey it's cuz there was coffee on top and stuff like that the

restaurant in question is is uh I must say an excellent spot ious right it is it's very it's very good it is yeah I Paris is great for that now I remember when we first moved here get 10 15 years ago the only it was either you sit down and have an hour and a half lunch at a French beastro French restaurant French food French Service French everything where you're where you're sitting there for as you say 90 minutes and You' got to have uh e you got yeah you got to have like a uh

starter main course dessert cheese coffee uh half a bottle of wine and you know you got a make friends with the waiting staff yeah or it was go to a bakery and have a sandwich or McDonald's and in slowly but surely like these new cool quick fast Food but good healthy fast food they're not French yeah exactly so the place we're talking about is a Korean place where we had delicious bibimbap very colorful uh collection of veg and uh meat and stuff and rice yummy yeah um all right so anyway how are you too I

thought I thought for episode 900 I thought what better way toest to celebrate this Milestone by um what better way to do this than to uh invite the two of you here to just chat About whatever amazing are we going to have a special 900 episode jingle um nah just just the same old Paul and I'm expecting different results I'm just he's happy with the results I don't know maybe yeah that's true I haven't done the jingle haven't done the jingle I suppose I'll do it right at the beginning of the episode in some way

okay yeah okay maybe I'll add some episode 900 reference or maybe I just won't well you've probably I mean Probably since we last did an we were here fairly recently I don't know maybe people don't know who we are because it might be like oh who are these two losers joining my favorite English speaking podcast why is Luke looking away from the camera instead of the normal thing where if this is for video viewers where he addresses the camera directly uh for audio listeners this isn't an issue of course hello listeners hell list directly talking

to you now But yeah that's true the last time you were on the show the last episode I published with the two of you was in January of this year so that's a few months ago now that's so maybe 50 episodes previous uh yeah 40 something 40 or 50 episodes ago all right it's a good point who are you obviously I've got a lot of longterm are a lot of long-term listeners who know who you are and all the long-term listeners I actually uh met one uh oh yeah or two of Them at my Edinburgh

friend show I completely for to send you a message I think I know who it is Jackie is it Jackie I think so Chinese girl lives in England yes yes yes I might have had something to do with the her coming to your show just saying ah thanks for thanks for sending me people to my show I but there was two people there was her and there was a guy and I I thought I took a photo with him and so I could send it to you but I don't think I do okay uh but

anyway thanks for sending people to my show in in uh Edinburgh yeah it's all right no worries for those uh non long-term listeners um let's just quickly St Amber can you introduce Paul to the people of the world Paul Taylor um people of the world is a a friend of yours and mine a standup comedian a from I was going to say from he's not a oh where's he where's he from where from yeah um well it's hard to really Say via you know like Ireland and and and France it's very confusing to be honest

I'm not really sure yeah Paul's not sure either he's kind of managed to build a career on it almost but not my whole thing it's his whole stick isn't it like you know where is he actually from um but yes English born in born in Essex mate in Essex Boys in southeast England Southeast England but um what's the sort of ratio of time you spent up until the Uh time uh okay where did you spend your time up until the age of 21 go okay uh I'll do 23 cuz that's when I moved to France

so 0 to2 England yes uh 2 to 4 Geneva and Switzerland 4 to9 France where uh on the other near Geneva opposite the other side of the Border all right uh 9 to 14 can I just stop you there and just backtrack a little bit and just like maybe give a couple of highlights of what happened to Paul during these early Years we know for example that in that time growing up in France that he nearly burned down his house oh my God I how do you remember that I've got no idea I didn't know

what I li to you I know I know but I mean honestly it's it's long gone long gone from my mind his parents who both smoked and were slightly neg negligent in the way that they um made sure that Paul didn't play with the matches Paul play with the matches he burned down a a tree outside house like A massive hedge yeah and it nearly caught fire nearly the house nearly burnt down he also nearly stabbed him he did in fact stab himself in the face with a large knife thinking that he was Leonardo from

the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Have you listened back to all our episodes just before we remember I haven't I haven't but steel trap steel trap in the past I have had to calculate the scores of the line game and I've had to go back and look at the pages for Those episodes and I've seen little Su Paul and stabbed himself face with but okay anyway so so yes Switzerland then France until the age of uh so so until the age of nine okay 9il 11 uh T in Devon Southeast Southwest West England and I think

we can say that a highlight of T was the uh babington model [Music] Village yes the uh the the model Village near babam Beach uh in between babum and And TW there's a little model Village next to my school Abby school which was the school behind the model Village uh yeah exactly model Village listeners is the best thing ever it's like a little tiny little village that's it's kind of like a Polly Pocket but in for a village for for an actual it's a very English kind of thing I feel I've been to one in

France oh really yeah okay so no one understood what was happening sorry imagine an a Village like a typical English Little Village but it's being it's a model version uh miniaturized and you can walk around it so you feel like a massive giant and you can go look look they've got like a little church a little graveyard little town Cent Town Square and and they always give you like stuff to spot they like put little things in it that you have to discover a girl with an umbrella or whatever yeah Wally is over there where's

Wally yeah yeah Where's Waldo so and I know about this because when I was on holiday I sent you a message both of you saying how typical my holiday was it was an English summer holiday cuz it was pouring with rain and we were at a model Village and you were like hold on no you said I'm a model Village in Devon and I just randomly cuz I remember it from when I was a kid I was like is this by any chance near toi and she was like yes like oh I couldn't believe it

you're where I went to school As a kid this is this was poor this was like your favorite thing when you were a kid was it the model Village yeah I I really enjoyed it I mean I was only there for two years in that specific uh model Village yeah that's where we lived um a small studio apartments yeah exactly uh okay and uh so that was till 11: in model Village in t until 11 yeah 11 to 14 Canterbury in Kent okay where my mom still lives South South England Southeast Southeast England yeah uh

14 to 16 Madrid in Spain ah 16 to 18 hence this the fluent Spanish um see that's convincing isn't it uh then 16 back to 16 to 18 canberg Again say that again sorry sounded like you said sounding like you said Canter Bri again Canter Bri again was something Canterbury Canterbury again yeah okay 16 to8 yeah and then 18 to 23 Landon City nice before I moved uh back to Paris Wasn't there time in Quebec Canada yeah so that was the my year abroad at University so I did half of it in Quebec Canada half

of it in Australia in Sydney oh okay good day mate good day here again yeah so yeah that's where I'm from that was a long introduction to who I am for the people hi everyone lovely to meet you does comedy uh stand comedy uh kind of a big deal in you know in standup comedy big in France huge yeah absolutely massive like you got Recognized didn't you in the in in the by the girls in front of us we were in the queue talking L as soon as they turned around as soon as we started

speaking CU I showed up on my own then as soon as you showed up and started speaking English when anyone speaks in English in Paris everyone just sort goes oh who's that and then I spotted straight away what the one of the girls knew who I was and I was like oh God here we go and then at some point Luke Tried to do the French thing of we were in a queue to get the food but there was some tables free inside and he tried to be like you know what let's grab the tables

before the other people who might want to sit and eat yeah but the I think in the rule in those places is you order then you sit down and he wanted to just do the French thing of like no no I'm going to sit down first and claim the table and the girls started speaking to us cuz we in English and they were like Oh we think we might you might need to order first so it was like a couple of minute conversation anyway when they were on their way out after they turned out they

want to take out the girl was like oh I really like what you do like love your sketches blah blah blah M yeah I noticed that I was like oh oh he got noticed then we go noticed hanging out with a celebrity yeah speaks fluent French um is French is really good but his grammar's sketchy because it's not Technically his first language so people uh they hear you think you're French but then you make your grammar mistake and they think you're an idiot this is your your joke that you tell okay so voila this is

Paul tlor lovely to meet you if you are new to the podcast Amber Amber minog um sister of uh the world famous Kylie Mino that's right Danny Danny Mano and Danny Kye Danny and Amber she's the unknown thirdd sister that's me of uh of the menog sisters not really not really Uh amber is uh also from the UK mhm uh not by birth but by just being a legend over there born born um right in South Africa yeah oh yes I was it was either Malawi or South Africa I don't know why I had Mala

in my did you live in Malawi no where is there somewhere else that you lived apart from South Africa just South Africa just South Africa okay four till 7 okay all right uh then uh England uh we also met doing stand-up so Amber is a stand-up Amber is A Swiss army knife of Paris yeah she does standup comedy uh I mean I guess the English army knife but uh standup comedy on one Branch uh podcasting on another Branch the PanAm podcast yeah uh what about Paris if you're interested of history in Paris ERS the person

uh and as a as another hustle on the side does tours of Paris and um uh monuments museums we've been on a couple of those wait that was the last time we were on the show with my little brother that was When we were with you ah so yes the medieval Museum episode hardcore editing the editing is an absolute nightmare you still haven't released it I'm still editing it literally here's my editing Suite I've got the video file right fine that's all right and then I've got four audio tracks yeah okay the video file is

about 90 minutes long mhm one of the audio tracks is also about 90 minutes long one Of them is about 60 Minutes long another one is 60 Minutes one long and another one is somehow about 80 minutes long so they all cut off at different times right which I haven't I'm not even anywhere near that I'm only about 10 minutes in but but because we're all miked up so there's four cuz it's you Amber me and your brother Kyle uh that's four audio tracks so whenever one person speaks I have to cut out all of

the other bits of audio cuz otherwise you Get this horrible Echo sort of sound oh there's applications that do that for you man like free applications that you can just input it all and it will just figure it out by itself really yeah AI there's this thing called a I now that yeah I know use I'm just sticking with I at the moment it's like which means I do everything oh that's a good joke mate you got to write that down for the next time we do a stand up if only this was Being recorded

pretend to write it down that's that's good okay all right yeah you you you yeah cuz I was thinking intelligence but I like the thing of like I do everything oh that's good so that's so anyway it's a nightmare to to edit we'll never do that again I I basically edit uh about it's about 20 seconds of the actual video takes me a lot longer than 20 seconds and then I'm like yeah I'll Just do something else for a bit and then I come back and edit another 20 be episode 1,000 listen eventually eventually they'll

get the But even then I don't know what I'm going to do with all the different audio files all cut off I don't know I'll F I'll I'll turn it into something and then uh we we'll all the listeners and viewers will be able to accompany us to a medieval Museum and talk about um uh tapestries with unicorns on them and stuff like That so so yeah Amber is also a registered tour guide in Paris and knows loads of stuff about the history of Paris she's read all the books and I mean just all the

books generally I have read them all I have also forgotten them I've read them I forgotten them I reread them I discover things that I've underlined and written notes about and I think oh that's interesting nothing there's nothing left you remembered everything about Paul's past I can barely remember my own my past is more recent is it then uh yes so yeah okay all right so there you go the the Pod Pals uh back in the podcast room uh summer so it's September now yeah uh We've re-entered um civiliz normal life again yeah uh was

how was your summer any highlights to anything to report let's start with Paul I was going to be like n right end of episode hold on there's two things we were going to talk about because there's summer and there Was the Olympics in Paris I think we should start there okay our Olympic experiences let's talk about the Olympics let's talk about the Olympics it's going to lead into pool I did an episode pre Olympics talking about is Paris ready for the Olympics and you know talking about the fears and the concerns and the attitudes of

parisians what did you think think pre Olympics about how this city felt about the games well I felt that they felt like London felt before the London Olympic games which was just anger it's going to be horrible nothing's ready it's going to be terrible blah blah blah why would it be terrible well just the same old stuff that anyone complains about when they have a sporting event that the infrastructure is not going to be ready there's going to be too many people it the traffic's already a nightmare so it's going to be even worse it

was just going to be horrific that was just the The overall feeling and I remember London was the same thing yes and this the same thing happened with London where it was amazing yeah and there was no problems there there were less people in Paris in in a normal August as there were in London it was so quiet it dead but it was I thought I agree it was amazing I thought loads of people were really anxious and thought oh it's going to be a nightmare it's just going to be it's not going to work

but it was Amazing and I thought everyone started feeling really proud and like excited and it was Peak front it was so I thought it was so good I thought it was really good so that's the the atmosphere the actual game should we talk about the opening ceremony sure what do you what did you think of the opening ceremony and perhaps could you explain any of the things that happened during it because it was a little bit cryptic wasn't it what do you a little bit I mean for Those who aren't versed in you know

things like certain moments like there was the Mary antoinet moment and the horse running I agree that was the best bit such a good bit so uh well what what did I thought it was generally [ __ ] why what no I thought I thought like a lot of things in France I thought the idea was amazing yeah I the execution was not and I F there's a lot of things in life in France where you go Wow that's a great idea but it just it just the way it was the rain didn't help but

the rain the rain was not their problem but I I felt like it was it for the people that were there in real life it was horrific yes um one because of the rain but two because the ceremony happened throughout different parts of the river so if you uh bought a ticket to go and watch a specific part of the river you only saw about 20 minutes of the three and a half 4 hour long thing Because it only happened for 20 minutes in front of you and then it kind of well the thing is

is like there was you know our friend Sarah who was uh at a point where the ceremony start Ed quite close up which is where Lady Gaga was on stage she wasn't on stage then it was raining so they had pre-recorded her bit so when in during the ceremony we watched on TV you see Lady Gaga that was actually filmed 3 hours previous oh really but anyway that's the beginning of the show So you would see that bit and then the boats would all go past and that's it and as like Team USA France and

Australia who were the last three boats went past that bit on the TV screens they were still only at like the letter T in the alphabet because the ceremony was down further Downstream so you only saw the bit in front of you and then it kind of moved on I thought that the the idea of it being outside of a stadium was amazing but it was just everything Was so long it just took it every bit was great but there were bits it was just like all right we get it now stop move on to

the next bit well that is a bit all opening ceremonies they're all quite long I I agree with with you there was like the idea I thought was really nice and it was very brave and I think globally the Olympics ran with that idea of using Paris and I mean they did a great job there was something so cool about some of the venues I mean like the Grand palet you know the Eiffel Tower the Concord talking about the sporting uh events now yeah but I mean the opening ceremony sort of started that off they

kind of kept in line with the whole idea of the of the set of of the Olympics which was like using Paris so it was a really nice idea it was really long and I agree if you were actually there you were kind of not seeing anything you were just seeing boats going past in the rain so and also the Scale was kind of it's very difficult because they were using an outdoor event even when they made something big it was never quite big enough and it was also it was also mostly during the day

like the sun hadn't set yet so I think it it wasn't Paris is much prettier at night than it is during the day especially when it's gray like Paris when it's gray is like any place when it's gr it's kind of and so because all like the first hour and a half of it happened in Daylight that that's what the for me the Maran twanette bit where there's they're in like the the con the what's it called the con the conciergerie was a kind of prison at the time of mar antoinet or yeah the conciergerie

used to be the Royal residence in medieval times and then became a prison and that's where Mar antonet amongst many others is it now the Palace of the Justice the cor the the pal Justice it's part of the P du but it's still a museum you can go And visit it and you can see Mar Anon and there was like this heavy metal band like I thought that was great it was amazing and then like the the red firework not fireworks but like the streamers of like the just it was good and that for me

was a part that didn't last long enough so to speak cuz there were other bits where you go it but also I found out after it cuz I I was working with Paris 24 for like the last two years that they had to get Rid of of about 20% of what they had planned really because of the rain so 20 we didn't see 20% of the what they had planned so they had to add more time on to the other bits and it just made it really long like the the the the horse that was

coming through was amazing like the metal horse riding along but it took like 25 minutes you're like all right guys we don't need it to be that long it could it could have been like a but I think they had plann to add extra bit Like you see the horse Cuts away to something else and cuts back cut but then they end added they ended up putting like archive footage of some of the Olympics but I think that's the problem with a lot of opening ceremonies like they could be condensed generally and there was like

a lot of this and that but yeah the most spectacular things were when they were big and that's why the mar antonet bit was good and there was also Mar antonet window List we forget a woman holding her head in the window singing a song from The Revolution so it was really super cool it was really I some people said bit distasteful but I'm like no it was great yeah well it was everyone not French thought that that was distasteful people I think there was um you know uh I think a lot of people didn't

like it actually why though it was so good cuz they well you know it's mostly sort of quite quite traditional people sort of quite Conservative maybe it was a rightwing leftwing thing like everyone in the rightwing hated it everyone in the left wing loved it yeah but that's why it was so interesting because it wasn't an event which was happening in France the opening ceremony for me really set the tone that this was Paris 2024 like this was an event with happening in Paris and like in Paris you can have you can laugh well not

laugh but you can like turn into art the Revolution and you can have Drag queens and you can do all these things this is and you can like mix the old and the new it felt very Paris you know rather than like middle what people criticize it for like it was too Bobo Parisian if it was too middle of the road how boring like it's much better to be criticized I mean yeah exactly like you if you want to make something so yeah I think I I think overall like I didn't I didn't enjoy it

I thought it was too long and I thought some of the Pieces you just like uh all right there were bits of it I really enjoyed but it I just felt like it was an hour and a half longer than the London opening ceremony yeah cuz I couldn't help comparing it to the London one and as a result I found it uh a bit incoherent uh because the London one was so amazing in the way that it told the story of the Industrial Revolution and that moment where the Five Rings of you know uh these

kind of uh red hot rings that have Been kind of smelted from liquid metal and They Carried across the sky and these industrialists are all making it happen and stuff and they come together and the Sparks are flying and stuff it was incredible you know and the queen jumping out of a helicopter with James Bond I think I think the the the the you know it reminded me of a lot of again France like not being a very good entertainment uh provide like they're not good at TV they're not good at um uh Like you

know how Americans are amazing at entertainment they they love the show even a football game on a Sunday for them is like cheerleader yeah let's do the show and we are the UK is kind of in between like we're good at entertainment but it's more authentic than American entertainment like a late night talk show yeah is a perfect example Americans is too like raah this is fake let's do some fun games Graham Norton is the best Late Show talk I mean I'm I'm biased I'm English of course French Late Show horrific and so that was

that was the idea is good but it felt like the the the T the the the directing of the TV version was horrific as well like they didn't know where to cut to there was too many cameras there was too much going on and and they would cut from a thing we like that's amazing and it would suddenly cut to a weird like zoom out of a boat it was it was very discombobulated yeah yeah that lack of Coherence running through it I mean yeah like some moments fantastic but the whole thing didn't quite hold

together in the way that I hoped that it could you would have hoped that Darth Punk would have gotten back together for the music part do you know what I mean like it felt like it felt like there was so many more French references International David geta wasn't a part of it and he's like one of the he's the biggest like you just go were little Things like that where I was like ah there could have been but I think they were also I think there was I think we were ready to give them a

little bit of Grace because they were quite audacious with what they were trying to do the rain was a real bummer for them but they also responded I thought in really interesting ways to things that out people outside of France might not have been aware of and I and I found really powerful like and I can't remember her Name cuz I'm terrible at remembering anything but you remember this young woman who was singing on the pond and she's very famous French so good so there was this big as I'm sure you're aware like drama so

she was going to sing in the opening ceremony and there was a big right-wing faction of people who were like oh no she shouldn't sing you know she's not French enough even though she's the most listened to French artist because the Problem is it's centered around the language which was so interesting no it wasn't centered around the language it was centered around the color of her skin and they're pretending it's about the language aren't they well it's both of them are linked right but but they but the language thing because if she'd have been I

I don't think you they're just using French people are funny about their language but I think if she was I thought if she spoke French like Idris Elba speaks English M that have been much less of a problem I don't know they' found something else anyway anyway they people were talking about the language and maybe that was just a code for something else but um it was interesting though that see one of the reasons she's controversial and this not necessarily the whole thing is that she kind of uh Breaks the Rules of French grammar and

uses you know um French in a way that's not in line with the with the Correct version of the language and then there she was doing her performance in front of the which which was so kind of uh bold such a bold move and she's a fantastic performer as well of course it was so kind of that was so um interesting to have but then they also had her like and on the other side of the bridge they had the Republican sort of marching marching band guys and these which were you know basically white men

and they represent That sort of very particular sort of France and Military and everything and then they all kind of came together and it was really it was really glorious and there was something longer as well absolutely but I mean there was something which was so sort of like oh yeah we heard you we heard what you had to say about this woman not using French correctly and not representing France and this is our response we're going to put her on the P out in front of the Academy Fran and we're going to have like

traditional France like surround her and like and I thought yes yes that was the the critics I mean the kind of as we say the the right-wing people or whatever whoever it is the traditionalists or something they really got their knickers in a Twist about that and also about like the fashion show as well and who is this blue guy all right I do a joke about this in my show explain who the what I'm talking about Though he's the banana what yeah ban he's okay so it's he's a French singer who um one of

his songs is a funny song about just leave me alone and let me eat my banana my kids love that yeah yeah yeah all kids love this it's so good it's good it's good there's an English version and a French version so so um Philip Kine is his name right so there's there was one moment uh during the ceremony uh the beginning of the fashion show or something where it Was like representing some decadent I'm not sure what it was representing but it was basically this guy dressed a painted blue lying down on a sort

of platter of food and he appeared to be completely naked and and basically it I remember when I saw that I was like what what is what on Earth is going on here and then it all kind of went into a Kind of Night Club sort of um uh um scene uh with the flashing lights and it was Darkness was the theme or something Right because there were different themes there were different themes throughout the ceremony and that theme was Darkness um I thought I thought were Liberty eality fraternity yeah but there was there were

there was like 12 different things yeah well he he the the way the the for me he's like the French equivalent of Jack Black right who's a musician does some crazy stuff loves was messing around and like the the equivalent is if at the LA Olympics you See Jack black painted in blue and naked everyone would be like that's hilarious because we know who he is yeah yeah no one outside of France knows who Philip gin is so everyone's like my mom was like what what's what what are what are we watching here Paul what

the hell cuz the BBC commentators had no idea about anything well no one seemed the French commentators didn't know cuz I was watching it in France and they all just Like and someone is it's this guy they seem to be completely clueless although the French commentators they were lucky enough to have de bki who designed all the costumes yeah but she had no idea what she was talking about either but she was crying for most of it as well this is the problem though this is why I mean the the fact that it was incoherent

no one understood what any of it represented it does maybe you no but does it matter like so he was this guy In blue so there was two things going on there um arguably but I don't know you need to understand it so he was a sort of dionan sort of figure a Greek god so these are the Olympics which lest we forget are Greek and so diis is you know the god of wine and partying and so he was like on the table with arguably a tableau which was meant to remember um bring to

mind the last supper as painted by Leonardo da Vinci which apparently upset some people yeah even though they Saw it they religious people who are religiously like oh you're Saed that you they s it as the woke ification of a religious sort of yes but we are talking about a representation which was painted by Leonardo da Vinci famously a gay man so a gay man's interpretation so it was very nice I thought it was very good I didn't know he was gay Leonardo no gay all the best painters are um and so um yeah I

mean it was sort of Simultaneously like Greek gods and parties and debauchery and maybe a bit of last supper or not I mean you know because no one's actually seen the last could have just been a supper and then they had like and they had like it to be the last one and they had famous um drag queens performing so like Nikki doll who presents drag race France but also oh and I think her name is pich um which is a um drag queen who is also part of like the traveler Community the Gypsy Romany

Community and that's a big important for her as well because that's you know a much maligned group of people not just in France but all around I thought it was really good I loved it I loved their fashion show that went too long that was that was the thing I was like this is this is getting too long now depends how much you love drag so I was there for it I could add more that's true bring me the drag I thought it was great but it was fun that it was included yes yeah And

I think that was what was interesting so I agree like maybe long you know could have been shorter it could have been tighter it didn't have that same spectacle as London but I really thought there were some really powerful moments and that they responded to things in a kind of like Brave way yeah and they've set a precedent I think which was actually really interesting and it's going to be so interesting to see what they do in LA because this is The land of spectacle you know but it's very different they're kind of like well

it's not they can't do it now in in a they're not not going to do it the same way and like then they're going to do it around the Hollywood sign and all of like Hollywood Boulevard like it's going to be it's going to be it it can't not be they can't be outdone by Paris that could be the end of opening ceremonies in the stadium it depends what country it is in because as they've discovered To their detriment the rain can really mess with you well London wanted to do that but the the the

health and safety no just the the government were like no you're not doing it okay they weren't allowed to do uh to so it had to be in the stadium safety got mad um which I mean yeah it it could it could rain and it could be awful I funnily enough the Paralympics opening ceremony I found way better than the Olympic ceremony it was shorter more concise and there was no Rain and it was all in one place even though it was Outdoors it was still in one place so you still got all of everything

that was going on and I just I yeah it was very like I got emotional during it it was really really cool like it just I thought it was amazing yes the whole thing all the ceremonies a little bit too much interpretive dance in my opinion like I've had enough of people sort of jumping around now yeah yeah it's cuz they don't have Paul McCartney They don't have the Spice Girls they don't have Elton John they don't have no but they have different things hey SEL Dion SEL Dion to's not's Canadian Canadian know but still

what were they doing with SEL that was powerful SEL Dion she was the person that brought it all together and quietened down the right wing they were like Seline yeah the bit at the end where they transfer the torch they ran through Concord that was really nice I Really like that they lit the what do they call it the cauldron the cauldon that was good yeah the the lighting of The Cauldron was a beautiful moment and selion on on the the Eiffel Tower in the rain singing a half thankfully that happened in the sense of

like I don't I think people I think it if it waited three and a half cuz we all knew we were waiting for Seline it was like the most rumored thing so like when is she arriving when is she coming when is it Happening if that hadn't have happened if she wasn't a part of it I think there' have been way more uprising of like this was hor she made it that like it was amazing well then that was the drama for the closing ceremony because did you watch the closing ceremony no but I the

only thing I saw the Tom Cruz bit but I where he jumped off the well no that the whole thing was that people paid all this money it was going to be in the stadium it was in the stadium and They were waiting for the celebrities Snoop Dog and Billy eish Billy iish and they performed over zoom over Zoom they were in La they didn't come and people were really gutted and I can see why so okay yeah so uh did you see any events you went to the par Olympics didn't I saw the par

Olympics I didn't I didn't see any of the events but I partook in an event and I and I have an Olympic medal yes he does okay all right so this is where we um segue into your Marathon running which we tried to do about 40 minutes ago I feel like we weren't ready we weren't ready the subject was floated and then we moved on but here we are then to talk about so you ran a marathon as part of the Olympics and you have an Olympics medal I do have an Olympic medal sorry what

Olympic I want to see it I was going to bring it with me but I forgot I cuz I was in a rush and I was late and I completely forgot to grab it Off my shelf I did they put a bit of the Eiffel Tower in your medal or is it only in the gold medals no it's only in the gold silver and bronze actual Olympic what's your medal made of it's it's made of metal uh but it does have Olympic rings on it was it like gold silver bronze and I'll show I'll steel

I'll show you a a picture of it um uh it's uh gold silver bronze tin gold silver bronze tin it's it's it's kind of a cool little uh like that is cool 24 42 cuz It's 2024 42 kilm and on the back on the back they have some of the uh Olympic medals I I'm showing it to the people on YouTube if you're not on YouTube you can just typ if you go to Team orange running on Instagram they were the ones who who were um uh there's a much better quality version on team orange

running if you send that picture to me I'll put it on the page for this episode oh great that then my website so people can see it yeah that was the that like they they Presented it like way nicer on their Instagram the T 2442 that's clever I like uh so yeah we yeah so basically for the first time ever in Olympics history they opened the marathon up to nonathletes um as if it were a London Marathon or a Berlin Marathon so there was 20,24 of us who uh 20,24 yeah see what they did yeah

see what they did there so there were two races one's a 10K and one was the The the 42 uh marathon and it's the same route that the athletes took so the athlete the men's event was on the Saturday at 9:00 in the morning the women's was on the Sunday at 9:00 in the morning and we ran at 9 at night yeah in between both was that because to keep it so you didn't get too hot it was it was one because of the temperature so we wouldn't die from heat although some people on the

route were clearly dead hot yeah there was it was Like sometimes it was at some point it was like running through an injured Battlefield where there's like bodies falling there's there's bodies falling they've got the you know the the silver and uh emergency blankets emergency blankets with like the Sirens of a an ambulance that's just stopped next door then it'd be people like carrying people hobbling saving it's like Saving Private Ryan it was a guy there who's just trying to pick up his arm you know and Then exploding and that was at like we started

at 9: at night uh so yeah it was it was partly because of that and also because the the the the the the men's and the women's were in the morning so we had to we started at 9:00 and we had to finish there was a time limit we had we had 6 hours to run it basically okay um and because they had to then get ready in the morning for the women's event that was starting I think it was 8: in the morning it was starting um so Yeah they opened it up to non-athletes

and in order to get access to it's similar thing to the London Marathon or Berlin or Tokyo or New York where you there's a ballot where you sign up and you either get in or you don't but in order to even get access to the ballot you had to do a bunch of challenges uh like you had to run 5k with Teddy Reena the Judo guy but like a you know virtually there was like a virtual challenge thing I was just lucky enough Um that because I was working with Paris 24 on a couple of

other things they were like would you like to do the marathon is that lucky was it lucky yeah it was like I'm not sure if someone said do you want to run the marathon I'd be like oo I feel lucky well ini afraid initially they they were like do you want to there's a 10K and a 42 I'm like I'll do 10K yeah and then I got invited in January to the press conference of the the marathon uh which is it was run by Orange the Telecommunications Company not the color well that I mean ironically

they have or or the fruit it was run by a bunch of it was run by the telecommunication company specifically the Mandarin version um and so there was a press conference at the orange headquarters where Tony isang the the the head of the organized ation committee yeah had like a keynote presentation presenting like this is the First time we're doing this the marathon here's the route blah blah blah there was one slide about the 10 km and the other two hours of presentation was about the marathon and I said to them I kind of feel

like and it was also the 10K was also build as like an accessible route for people you know who are injured or uh you know disabled yeah and so I was like or old well I felt I could do 10K Marathon I felt I I was like or people who don't want to do it yeah I Just felt like H I can't not do this now you know everything was about the whole marketing was about and it's kind of like apple when they Market the the the the the iPhone 16 Pro or whatever more than

they do and you're like ah do I need to get the pro I was like yeah I need to run the 42 now so I cuz I was like if I'm going to do one marathon in my life it may as well be the Olympic marathon in Paris at home I'm never this is never going to happen again like it's Like let's so that decision was in January and um on my Nike run app on my phone there's a a marathon training plan where there's a coach that's in your ears throughout the whole training process

and so I looked at like week one of the training and week one is like you you're supposed to run five times a week and the longest run on that week one was like an 8 kilm run and I was not ready I was I was like okay and so this was an 18 we training plan okay so about four Months just over four months um and I thought I can't I can't do nothing and then start at 18 weeks out cuz I'm not going to be able to do the first week of the training

so I started running two months before so as soon as I said yeah I'll do the 42 um I started running doing but literally you just like I'll do the 42 right and I ran and then you ran away yeah I ran home oh god what have I why did I say That I just want to get home and so I did like a two- Monon you know sort of zero to no like from not ever running to like let me try and get into some sort of running Rhythm so I was running like three

times a week for two months and then I bought a new pair of shoes to be like this will be my Marathon pair of shoes and I went out too fast on my first run and knackered my foot uh so my I had like a tendonitis on my right foot so where the tendons are inflamed and It's really painful yeah and then so I went to go see a physiotherapist and then um this is like 18 weeks in uh sorry 18 weeks to the race okay so the 18 week training to go yeah so week

one of my training plan I was already so week one of the 18 we training program gotj ruined your foot I ruined my foot so then I kept on running because I'm like I can't not run because otherwise the I'm never going to be able to do this so you're like ow ow ow ow for how Long every every time uh it depended but it would it would be I think the the the at that point I was probably running yeah I was running like 8 kilm as the the longest like 10 km and how

long does that take uh 10 was about an hour so an hour's worth of ow ow ow yeah pretty much um and then so we sorted that bit out but then I think because I was still running I think uh I I was putting more pressure on my left leg to not hurt my right leg and then my left knee uh had a Got I got an injury it's a very common running injury called the IT band syndrome which is basically there's this there's this band it's not a muscle it's a band from your hip

really thick that goes they get smaller and smaller all the way down to your knee what is it it's called It's called The the ilot tibial band it's a fascia I don't know what fasia f c f s c I sort of like ligy kind of um fiber if you look at a body and you take the skin off you know the Pl you know when you see the bodies with the skin off and you see the muscles mus it's a it's just a white band that attaches to your bum muscle your glute and attaches

to your quad which is your thigh muscle so it it starts up here by your hip and then goes down and over your knee and every Runner who pushes too hard has this thing where as it's going over the knee and you're bending your knee it just inflames this band and it just Basically um inflames and it's it's it's the the the pain is like a migraine in your head but in your knee just just underneath your knee that does not sound good so that happened so your right foot's going ow ow ow and then

your left knee is like hold on a minute hold on a minute well my right knee yeah and we we figured out the the the the thing on the on the right leg tend oh the tendonitis was on your right foot no on my right foot yeah so then that that Disappeared and then about 3 days later this popped off your knees starts going ow ow yeah and so uh back to the physio I saw her maybe 10 times in the in the in the four month so basically I I never had one week of

normal training that I was supposed to supposed to be able to to do it and I could I would but I had signed up for like a half marathon I'd signed up for a 10K because while you're training for a marathon you build up the mileage and one week two months before The race it was that was the week you're supposed to do a half marathon distance-wise so I was like I might as well sign up for a half marathon then I get used to what it's like running with thousands of people the Aid Station

where they give you cups of water you can practice running and grabbing water exactly um and so I'd signed up for this half marathon so I was like I might as well do it cuz I've got to do it anyway and that was when the knee like really Like went off this is two months to the to the day of running the marathon and basically from then I didn't really run anything I ran a a couple of times but the training plan was out the window I said to my physio like I don't know what

to do do I keep running but keep hitting a wall at 5 km and it really hurts or do I give my body a rest for like a month or or or longer and just hope that that'll sort it out and he's like I I mean let's take a break and see What happens okay so your training plan was just out the window oh it was so I was I was so by that stage I had started drinking heavily again uh because I was like why not that's going to help yeah really yeah all the

medical knowledge tells us that drinking a lot is the best way to it was your body I it was it was like a really and plus like the the comedy stuff wasn't going very well either so I was like in this really like sort of down were you in Edinburgh at The time or no no edinb was after the the the it was the day after like two days after the marathon I started my Ed Run Okay um so but yeah it just the the work stuff wasn't going well this new passion I'd found from

F because I really got into it like I properly got into running started watching all the YouTube videos all of the nutrition stuff I didn't know you had to eat during a marathon so they tell you like what things you should be eating and you Need to eat like these gels but you need to get like a rotisserie chicken exactly on the side on wheels on a little trolley yeah that would be even better but yeah so you got to I didn't know I thought people just ran the marathon maybe had a couple of sips

of water but I didn't realize you actually ate you have to eat like every six kilm otherwise your body runs out of food like fuel yeah so anyway I got really into it and then that wasn't going well So I started getting like really depressed great another good good way to prepare and so I was I was just like whatever we went on holiday to Sardinia was drinking all the time and then uh and then yeah the the the the race day came and I was like all right we'll see how long it takes for

for for this to pop to go off and it would be it would be 5 km every five every time I hit 5 kilm the knee would go so I was like all right let's see how long I've taken a Month off at least it was four weeks and I hadn't been out running so I was like we'll see we'll see how long it lasts and the I mean the atmosphere was amazing like the it was it was it we started at like 9:30 at night this is the half marathon no no this is the

full I did this is the real deal the real deal I did the half marathon and it was horrific okay and then you took all the time off and whatever and you drank and you felt really depressed uh and then Here we are the big day how wait how did you feel though beforehand just before like I mean I don't know how I would feel but I mean as a performer you go on stage big audiences you're used to the sort of feeling of nerves building up before a big moment how did you feel it

was that same same thing imagine maybe doing the gr rex or the Zenit the the the 4,000 CER like imagine how you were feeling yeah in in like the half an hour before you go it was it was it was Mainly like that um I was more I was just apprehensive about I'm I can I finish it because at this point the training had gone down the the the the the like yeah for me I'd be I'd be thinking I'm I'm about to climb a freaking Mountain here and this it could be really well and

it's literally a mountain because the the roote that they had taken was like the the the the the hardest yeah we we ran to Versi and back and it's the It's the the hardest Marathon that's ever happened in Olympic run upill for for there's a there's a there's an incline of like 133% um and it lasts for about 800 M so almost a kilometer like uphill um and that's you do two it's two massive inclines basically in the thing so it's literally like running up a mountain so yeah I I I I'd watched so I

now I compare it to having kids in the sense that you can watch all the videos read All the books get all the equipment and listen to people talk about having kids and how difficult it is and the sleep depriva and all the stuff until you've actually had one and gone through it yourself you don't know how difficult and that's what I felt with the marathon it's like I watch people talk about difficult it was you hit the wall at 30 km you always hit the wall at 30 you got to it's but then you

end up crying and it's like the most thing and and you're Watching this going all right yeah okay so you kind of know what to expect but it just it just hits you in a completely different uh way when you when when when you do it depending I mean some I guess some people have like uh successful marathons uh mine was not cuz it just everything so anyway so we started the race and the atmosphere was amazing it started in Paris around the street around the Lou around Opera and the PE the noise was deafening

like just Everyone was well up for it a lot of people would have known you right uh yeah so there was a couple of my fans that were on the on why you doing the Maron is it for three reasons little reference to Paul's show um so yeah and it was at night so uh it was people you know were out it was a Saturday night as well so people were out having fun anyway and they so like oh let's shout it was amazing like the atmosphere was amazing we ran past the Olympic tor watch

the The Cauldron that was up in the like we ran around the teler gardens and it was it was amazing to see that I hadn't seen it at that point yet um and yeah on the way out of Paris so it it's about 12 km in the KNE went 12 km yeah so I was like oh God I was hoping it might have lasted a bit longer than that it was longer than the 5 km from previous times um but also I had like really bad like stomach pains before that as well Like it was

the first 12 I I was like oh there's something weird in my stomach now uh it like it maybe it was the the anticipation and the nerves I had of like when is this going to go did you have to do a Paula Radcliffe no I didn't I did I did stop for a pee at some point though um because they have Paul to lose but we were all thinking the same thing Paul Radcliffe listeners is a British athlete a longdistance runner who famously had to stop uh during um was it An Olympic uh I

think it was the Olympic one might have been she stopped something important she had to do a toilet to a poo in the EU yeah that's when we were in the EU back then yeah anyway never mind that back to the story um so yeah the he goes at 12 and I'd already been running slowly up until that point because when you do a marathon like these long marathons you choose you say what time you're hoping to do it in because then you set off at Different times so the fastest lot they start off First

In Waves so then 10 minutes later then there's the second wave then the third wave then the fifth the the slowest slot should start first well no cuz what you don't want to be doing is running past everyone like cuz it's literally like 20,000 people in the street and if you're too fast and you're having to push people out the way it's annoying so how was this what it so like the fast people go first and then what's The spacing between every 10 minutes so I I went I think at 9:40 was my time so

I was in the fourth group cuz what were you thinking you would do it in 4 hours 4 hours yeah that's when you Speedy does that feels Speedy to me very much so it's it's it's all right and what did you do in the end in the end it was 5 hours and 40 minutes and so the knee at 12 km when you've got another 28 km left check out my math 30 oh yeah 42u damn it um so those 30 km with a dodgy knee well The the the knee thing like you can't it

when it's when it's like the migraine like pulsating pain in the knee yeah you can't run so I I so I started walking at that point yeah and as I was walking I I'd say for like for the next hour and a half I was looking at my watch seeing how fast I was walking how fast does your walking compared to your uh so my walking is uh so I would be I would be walking about 10 minutes per kilometer which is about 6 kilm an hour no 10 Minutes per kilometer and in 6 hour

yes 6 kilm okay 6 kilm an hour yeah was about how how much I was working right uh and then if I'm running I'm normally if I was running running at my normal at the speed that I would have been running had I not been injured it would have been about five 5 and 1 half minutes per kilometer which is about double it's about double the speed so I'm about twice as slow as I would be so I'm looking at my watch going okay I'm Running roughly about 10 km or 10 minutes per kilometer which

is about so in in 1 hour I can do 6 km I've got 30 to go that's 5 hours 5 hours yeah I'm already an hour and a half into this that's I'm going to get picked up by the bus because there's a bus oh if you're too slow it's like Sor there's a bus there's a bus at the back picking dead bodies up basically who Haven Fallen you're going to get you're going to get Scraped off the ground aren't you like like Hill yeah like the end of like a demonstration when the cleaners come

and they're just going to be like a dead pigeon that just gets scraped off the floor at the end because obviously we were running two vers so if you dropped off halfway between Paris and vers there's no way to get home so that's why the bus was there to pick everyone up on the way back oh my gosh so I'm going Okay I'm I'm not going quick enough here I need to go quicker so then I just start jogging again and then I'd look at my watch going okay now I'm jogging at this pace how

can I keep jogging at this pace and then the knee would pop off like a kilometer and a half afterwards so then I'd be back to walking I'm like okay because I joged the previous one so then I'm I'm basically doing mental so the time was it was 6 hours for that you had to do it within six within six yeah Right and you were currently at 6 and a half sort of oscillating between just under six six and a half so you kind of just made it I just made yeah I had 20 20

minutes left basically before so the bus was like di dive Out The Way of the bus it's like they should have I mean they could have almost just had a loud speaker on the bus [Laughter] going that might have motivated you so So I so yeah between the pain and the awkward trying to drink water while still running in these like plastic e c cups cuz they wanted it to be you know normally e on a marathon it's paper cups that you can fold and then the technique is you fold and and drink and it

it goes it's easier than holding it but it was between that and and and obviously by this stage people were overtaking me so I'm like and then I could see cuz every during marathons you have um Pace Setters who have a little flag sticking above them the time with the time limit so I had set off with the 4H hour lot obviously they went miles ahead of me and then I saw you know like the 4 and a/ half hour flag go past with the people and then like the 5 Hour you know what I

mean and it was just like it was every I think they had time is every 15 minutes like the 4:45 and then the five went past and I'm like you know this is all playing on my mind as well but I'm Also I am also overtaking a couple of people who are really struggling so I'm like okay there's still I can still maybe do this still in it it would have been devastating to be scooped up by the bus if you'd gone like 5 hours plus you know if you're there if you were cuz like

you know you suffered a lot like you were you know you were struggling through it but like you made it but oh those people which did it for like six and they just don't make it yeah cuz you Still have to you still do almost all of it and then at the last minute the bus is like uh uh uh yeah oh so yeah did you see any of that did you see any people and they just like pull down the the great and those people are like no we're just here like stuck in the

bus 6 minutes you know 6s one minute no I didn't I didn't see any of them I mean I obviously when I went past like some of the people like who were on the side like vomiting and Doing this kind of stuff you I was probably thinking yeah but yeah like the there was there basically the three things that kept me going were uh one was like Louise cuz I was thinking your daughter yeah when she was older you know like how kids are always like my dad's better than your dad whatever I was I

was like the story that she could tell is yeah my dad did the Olympic marathon in Paris but like got picked up by the death Bus or do our children care my children are so mean and rude to me but they are now but I think when I think when you're older never the Olympic marath maybe if pulled my finger out yeah she was also there though like I think it was at kilometer 7 she was there with Addie my wife uh and Adam my manager with like a thing being like ah whatever and my

mom was there as well so like part of that was like saying what was she saying who my mom yeah you're [ __ ] amazing Paul I don't know how you do this I tell you what you you you just keep on running down you're unbelievable my son uh so she was in tears um but yeah I think it was like the story that she she could tell when she's older is like he ran the marathon but gave up or he ran a marathon here's the medal to to so I was like that was one

thing that was going through my mind the other one was like a phrase that I'd heard literally like two days before in in a running video online Which was like the the phrase was the pain is temporary but giving up is permanent so I was like uh and then the third thing was just the amount of people on the side of the road cuz we all had our names on our bibs right so you got the number then you got your name and then so as we were running past the crowds in the middle of

nowhere in between France uh Paris and Versailles um they just be out on the side of the street and it's just like you can't not Like I felt ashamed walking he's so hungry for attention public opinion was what pushed it someone's clapping just the energy just like more yeah you feel but you feel you feel awful like War because they don't know your story you know they're just a random so they don't know they just think you're [ __ ] and they're like I fair you can do it come on you can make it to

the end no no no I've got a an Inflamed uh IT band IT band got a headache in my knee yeah and it so that was the thing where there was times where I just there was like a point where it's like I wish everyone would just go away and just let me be in my own mind yeah but if they have gone away you'd have stopped I mean that's the whole thing it's like they are giving you that energy and support it's lovely yeah if they' gone away you would have just been like wait

a minute how long Did it take you to recover like how are you feeling now surprisingly less time than my half marathon so I went to uh so obviously the next day uh yeah agon yeah yeah like once up until I went to sleep I felt fine like afterwards I was like yeah I can walk normally this is all right and I went to sleep when I woke up the the pain I couldn't really walk with with the knee cuz the way the the problem with this thing is is because it inflames as you bend

your knee then you Can't bend your knee so I was walking with a straight leg and then able so going downstairs is horrific but um that took me about a week and a half after my half marathon this one it like a couple of days later I was like oh I can actually walk almost normally it's still a bit painful and I went to Edinburgh to do my run of shows and after a week it was it was all right so would you do another Marathon yeah oh he's been bitten he's been bitten why would

you Because I want I want to do it not injured just pain to see how well I could do also any marathon is going to feel like injury and the the sort of challenge of it might not be so bad also the marathons are really EXC I think doing one in the United States like going to the New York Marathon or something like that because talk about giving support I hear that they're incredibly that it's really fun and boy you can do it Paul come on yeah and so Well what was funny was as as

I was running past and people like Al and then as I was walking by like Miss so I had it was about five or six times where people recognized they said my name and then they looked at me and like that's Paul Taylor and then I'd be shouting back going um but as I was doing my running research I discovered the the the marathon Majors so it's like the tennis Majors you know the like the US open the French Open The Wimbledon yeah so they have the same thing for marathons which is London uh Berlin

New York Boston Chicago and Tokyo and at the like you get obviously individual medals for each but there's like a there's like a Power Ranger combined medal of all six if you do the six Marathon Majors oh yeah so I'm kind of thinking I might want to do those ah I've heard about people like you well they become addicted to running Marathon addicts yeah ex the thing is I feel like if I don't like I went running for the first time today this morning since the marathon the marathon which was just over a month ago

um and what did I was going to say what did your body say to you fine it was it was good actually now weirdly enough my knees hurting it's that chair I'm telling you I I see what you mean by it you sliding down the whole time complaining earlier on listeners I was complaining about This chair that I have in this in my podcast room I need a new chair you get an INT cushion that goes upward I should just get an inverted cushion that goes upwards but otherwise it's it it it something wrong with

it and it's leaning forwards ever so slightly by a couple of Mill milliliters Mill millimeters and so you get that horrible feeling it's sliding forwards and it feels like your underwear is going right up just right up in the crevice it's not good um so Yeah I think if you don't sign up for another one I don't see the like I went out today I was like that's cool but I don't have a goal anymore you know whereas before I was running cuz I was like oh I I have this thing coming up in 3

months you need a deadline yeah kind of thing like anything one of those people that like you've got to have a deadline to get that comedy show written or to whatever it is the but why not I mean I think if you can train and so It's not hurting your body um why not and I do think the stakes were different with the Paris Marathon for you but there is no there is no shame in not completing it I know like you're like personally you want to do it but you should be doing it for

you and if you're feeling awful there's no Shaman being picked up by the bus by the naughty bus being scraped off the road I like getting buses me personally quite happy on a bus I did an 18K run I thought you Meant I did an 18K bus ride I've done one I've done loads of them yeah don't say wow you don't you did an 18K run I signed up for an 18K run and it was through the Champagne region through you have every kilometer you drink a glass of champ champagne so there were two there

were four stops so you go and you get four tokens for champagne so you go to the first token first stop you stop you have some champagne and some people took it seriously idiots and they were Like running really quickly like my friend's husband and some a lot of people really dressed up like my favorite was these um English guys yeah these English guys they were the three little pigs and like and the big bad wolf I let the wolf and this guy in the wolf thing was like I'm so hot and um and then

you run to the next one for champagne and then sort of do a loop so then the second champagne is also the third champagne but by the time I got to The second champagne everything had gone out the window and everyone was just drinking champagne and stopped bothering with the tokens and we're all just like drinking and there was music and that was fun and then we thought let's not bother doing the loop let's just stay at this station let's just stay here we stayed at the station and then we were like oh we should

probably get back could you have some more if you had tokens could you just pay for more if You wanted a second glass the tokens started going out the window as the champagne started flowing they stopped caring at any point no one was no one was caring everyone was just drinking here's some more champagne absolutely so we' drunk way more than our four tokens we didn't bother doing the loop we started going back it started raining and then this farmer was driving past with like an open thing truck and we were all like oh we

need a lift and then We all got on and it was like me and my friends and we're all like soaking and then these cheerleaders and some Smurfs and we all like hanging on the back of half drunk on champag absolutely and then got delivered back to the beginning so that was the bus I got picked up by the bus that sounds so much fun there's another there's a marathon in front the medok the the medok marathon which is wine yeah and and it's it's a the Marathon Distance but you drink wine you do wine

tasting along the way it sounds amazing the French they combine they make everything French how do you end up doing wine tasting in the middle of a marathon it's not wine tasting either is it's wine drinking course I saw there was a can wine help you with a marathon it can't it's just the whole point of it is just go for p would feel less the 18K is not a marathan that's very do and I think they also realized with that Loop You didn't have to do it cutting off about they wereing 10K probably well

there's on the as I was watching videos there was a bunch of Aussie guys like students that decided to do a marathon in Sydney at night but their own it was like a beer yeah it was their own it was four of them and they were just like every I can't remember if it was every five kilometers or one kilometer one kilom is too much I think it's every five kilometers they stopped at a pub And like had a drink and then carried on so they planned their route out they knew which pubs they were

going to stop at and by the end of it they're completely [ __ ] face oh my God like but they did it they managed to do it in probably less time than I did mine I think that's called being in your 20s yeah yeah totally yeah exactly you just keep running and drinking and running and just running and drinking that's my life when I was 20 probably just running Around drinking um did you see the English guy this year who broke some incredible records and basically La ran the entire length of Africa oh yeah

the hardest Geer hardest GE what's his actual name Russ or Russ I think his name's Russ find out for us he look like he had the complexion for running the length of Africa exactly so the guy is I can't remember his name but he's on YouTube he's the hardest Geer right and he's a Rook Russ Cook he's known for for His running videos and he does these incredibly yeah he looks like me with a bigger beard he's more Ginger he's more Ginger he's he's very a very Ginger English Ginger Man very Ginger English man and

this is the guy who chose to run the length of Africa and as you say his complexion certainly was not comp you just thinking first of all you're going to run this length uh in in this climate but with that Ginger hair and that complexion yeah yeah um wow but Incredible how many how many uh kilom did he run I mean it's something like I don't know how many consecutive marathons he would run like two marathons a day the equivalent of or something like that and he did that for several months no it was almost

a year I think or just over almost a year Africa is enormous it's so big okay 349 days uh 19 million steps uh Finish Line start line uh uh average daily uh it doesn't tell you how many Kilometers there it says uh he looks pretty cheerful but I mean that's about a year and running at least a marathon in distance every day well twoo yeah and I thought Eddie isard running 27 he every day for a month he did at least a marathon it was 27 marathons in 27 days or something it was it was

how long was Nelson Mandela in prison for was it 27 years I'm not sure it was for every year that Nelson Mandela was in prison for okay but this Guy has just completely smashed that doing a Year's worth at least that's incredible unbelievable I unbelievable how can your body do that how can you actually manage that I mean I saw some of the footage of 10,000 miles so about 16,000 km yeah blim me that's incredible that's crazy he's doing it for charity right yeah and then say which charity it is and then uh this summer

not only did he do that and finish it at the beginning of this year yeah cuz I start When I started doing my running stuff I found him and I was like oh this isn't M me just doing the Paris Marathon all right mate calm down yeah um he then when it was the Euros in Germany he ran to every game that England played so he ran from England to Germany for the European football championship of course he did to not to like stutgart and then two days later ran from like stutgart to Frankfurt or

whatever wherever like so he ran to all the stadium games there Was aoup days like from England to the stadium and then back to England again no I think he's from London or Essex he's got a proper like proper our boys and girls here we are it's like day three do you know what I mean he's he he sounds exactly like that I don't uh proper Essex sort of company day six of running to every England game out the Euros 61 km down today 10K to go to the stadium colors are up business mode is

Activated business mode is activated what how business mode is activated come on Lads the collar's up what I mean but what what drives you to be like I know I'm going to I'm going to run Africa I don't know he had a lot of problems uh growing up I think no you surprise me and uh yeah full story but yeah it's it's it's pretty growing up Ginger he needed to be fast in London he like to survive his next challenge I think I I Read somewhere or I saw him he wants to run I'm looking

at your map behind you from the south of America so the very south of ch ch Chile yeah all the way up to the North Pole in north of Canada yeah wow is he okay clearly not well yeah I don't know I mean yeah psychologically but I mean it's incredible what he does but that's also an element to it like so you were sort of experiencing quite a lot of physical pain and all the rest of it but it is I Mean what's fascinating about running and I think that's why people and I don't know

cuz I struggle with 5K but like um why people do it is it is a physical part but there is the mental part like you do really need to find that space within you within your body within your mind to be able to to do it and overcome those problems and it's and it's rewarding and satisfying and kind of like and also for someone like you who is quite cerebral you know you are In your head a lot you do have a lot kind of going on you are kind of someone who maybe is a

little bit anxious at times running angry angry let's not rebr let's not Rebrand it call a spade a spade he's angry angry you know you know you're getting out that way but like you know to sort of have that physical Outlet like that well I never understood running like I've tried it many times over my life of I'd see people and I never understood that you did have Stakes my always my thing yeah but my thing was always like what are you running away from like what are what's why are you bothering I've always thought

when looking at people running and they're running away there's a limi sketch which is annoying because I I'm sure I had the same idea and then I saw his sketch I like all right some he did it but it's like people running along and you think what what are you running away from you know you just see these People in the park [Music] like like what is it zombies is the zombie thing happened what's going on yeah I hated it so I tried a bunch of times and I never i i p I did it

for like 5 days or maybe two weeks goal oriented and then I just stopped cuz I couldn't be bothered I was just like I just didn't enjoy it I found it boring running um and I think that I think the goal thing helped and I think this like This app the Nike running app where they have like people in your ears like there's a coach just talking to you just get like having a laugh and just you know and it the time just disappears when you're listening to it as well so yeah it's it's it's

a weird thing I that I've now gotten into but yeah I feel like I need to sign up for something otherwise I'm like the you know I went out today I'll go out on Wednesday and then Friday like three Days a week and then I reckon after like three weeks I'll be like all right do another Marathon yeah I might do I like it I don't run I'd never run anywhere um I think no no running for me no no just in case anyone was wondering but luk what about you don't you run uh no

all right let's do the marathon next year no thanks but you know you've been through this like living in Paris in this part of Paris is hard to run because there's nowhere to run there is This really Co group that go running at night oh yeah in Paris that each neighborhood has its own group and um I would love to run with them it looks so fun because they are in a sort of relatively small group and it's you know dark and so it's quieter and they're running through street so I think running in a

city is great like I love Paris I love walking around Paris super fun to run around Paris like you know I think it looks really really cool but They were fast and I thought too fast for me too fast for me but you know that would be a cool thing to do totally yeah yeah totally all right cool all right so uh so so that happened yeah so that happened well well done I'm medalist and you got your medal got my medal yeah you didn't get picked up by the bus of Shame no no the

bus of Shame the boss of Shame all right cool what else has been going on anything else that we should add Amber what about you I mean um he ran a marathon and stuff what when you were talking about your Marathon it reminded me of um when I was taking my daughter to school there's a dead [Music] rat just sort of permanently just like sort of at the corner like at the end of the street there's this sort of like great and this rat has died on it and it's been there for a few days

now and I'm really I'm curious but also Horrified as to how this rat is going to decompose slowly cuz no one's clear no one no one's cleared it up the council don't come and clean up no one cares this rat is just there um not dissimilar to the Fallen people yeah has your daughter spotted the rat yes it's impossible not to spot the rat how old is she that not your not the rat your daughter four she's four your daughter's four okay so what has she said about this she said well and this is where

I Thought children sometimes see the world in a better way and she said maybe he's in an enchanted sleep oh that is beautiful that is but that is going to wear away when she sees this rat sort of De compose and the enchanted sleep is going to turn into a sort of maggot infested horror so I do hope the rat gets cleaned up before the fantasy is destroyed that with a pigeon in our garden cuz our cat destroyed a pigeon my wife sent me a Video of the cat just and like Louise was hanging out

next and my wife's narrating the video being like Oh and here are all the feathers and then Louise you can hear in the back going and it's like and here's the dead pigeon so the pigeon was getting like its neck ripped off by the cat oh and so my wife took the pigeon and like put it in the bin yeah uh like the outdoor bin yeah yeah but for some reason the in the bag that she'd put it in she'd put other Like the rest of you a household uh rubbish on top of it and

when the bin men came they emptied the bin but the bag at the end didn't slide down the bin and end up in the bin in in the truck so the bin was put back in our front place and the pigeon was still in it oh no and it it absolutely stank it was like and then the maggots were in there it was it just oh dear poor pigeons poor Rats of course I have to say that because I was doing a walk and talk Episode you know the day that we went to the museum

I walked and filmed something on the way and I encountered a dead pigeon on the side of the street and in the video I go I'm walking oh there's a dead pigeon we don't want to see that uh and then I got I got a comment from someone saying I I thought you were better than that now I understand that you don't care about animals like your first reaction was to say uh when it should have been poor Pigeon or something so I got I got dissed for being um I don't know what I told

you about what my crime was there but anyway not improvising well I had that I saw a squashed pigeon on the road and and run over and I was with my son when he was little he was like not maybe not even three yeah and like my first instinct was like oh take him away don't let him see the pigeon and then I thought ooh this could be a learning moment and so I took him to the pigeon And I was like look at that pigeon that pigeon's been run over Happ if you don't do

your homework well I was like that's what happens if you cross the road yeah on your own cuz we lived at barbs and it was like really big roads and like Boulevard magenta I was like that pigeon that pigeon crossed the road without its Mommy and that pigeon got crashed by a car um and that's what happens that's what happens to you if you get crushed by a car and uh it worked he's very good At crossing the road yeah I but I remember he was a bit older than that he must have been about

five and we were walking around uh mon yeah uh when we were thinking about moving there and I remember Addy was having a panic attack because we were walking down the pavement and he was about 35 m in front of us coming up to a like quite a busy Road near the market where Seb used to live and you were completely relaxed you're like no no he's fine he Knows to stop and add was like she was really stressed out and I found it funny well a pigeon was sacrificed so that he had so he

could learn that but I mean she she should take a feather from my book but to to be fair I was only with uh Addie and your lovely daughter not that long ago and she's right to be scared because she's not had some pigeon education she ran across the road did she yes she Mentalist and we all felt and I felt Sick sick to my stomach thought oh terrifying it was a quiet road but nonetheless yeah yeah Road Safety you need to find yourself a dead pigeon yeah maybe I'll just take I'll find a pigeon

take that pigeon out the bin put it on the road your daughter's been desensitized to dead pigeon now though hasn't she because she's been through the other Garden pigeon incident well we she's she's a bit weird in the sense that you know there's like videos of Kids online people who film their kids for Content I find a bit weird but anyway I enjoy it I but I enjoy it so I'm not complaining but anyway there was a thing where like someone filming their daughter eating chicken or something yeah and the kid realizes that it's actually

a a chicken like a yeah and then like she's in tears she like why are we eating chicken so I was imagining that was what Louise was going to happen and so when she found out that Like the the ham slices is like Peppa Pig she just goes she just laughed she just laughed and found it funny I'm like oh God are we raising a psychopath oh jeez clearly she love she always laughs when things go wrong when somebody hurts himself It's the funniest thing like my dad when he when he was over my dad

sneezes it's like a it's like an earthquake when he sneezes old men at what point does does a sneeze just go From a sneeze to like a production a whole like my dad true my dad my dad makes a big deal out of sneezing it's like I'm I'm going to sneeze everybody it's kind of how it feels he doesn't but he sneezes and then he goes he sneezes twice and then he always has to go I always sneeze twice it's like everyone always sneezes twice dad and you've been saying that to us for 39 years

ever since you know my no but Nico so my partner he sneezes a lot And I I will not stand for it I'm just like you won't tolerate sneezing I'm not this ostentatious sneezing I'm like enough you can have two sneezes you can have three and then you need to hold it down I'm not going to just stop it now it's showing off I just it annoys me I'm furious with him stop sneezing what's he supposed to do just like keep stop sneezing that's what he's supposed to do find a solution find a solution look

within Yourself it just gets going and keeps going and going and I'm like no one need it's quite loud I'm just like no one needs to sneeze that much I got a friend who sneezes like eight to eight to 11 times but it's like really it's like still annoying sneezing is annoying and that's like in opposite to my dad my dad's one sneeze with it's and his whole body shakes and he did this afterwards like After exactly exactly and and my wife [ __ ] herself when he did this like she's just went and my

and Louise just loost she just goes she just laughed at my wife getting scared about my dad's massive there is something Japanese businessmen at train stations in the morning you've never seen you never heard sneezing like it no really yeah they don't hold back they just go a like that it's like Doan you know it's like Fireballs being sent out across the Platform but the reason okay so you know it's just older men make these giant sneezes yeah because they can because they can take up space and be noisy you don't get women making those

big sneezes I don't because they've been socialized not not to impose themselves on a situation that sneezing is just another symbol of I don't know patriarchy you're saying it's like a form of manspreading absolutely that's exactly what I'm saying yeah maybe but I um so what's the Solute should men men should reduce the sneezes or women should be allowed to sneeze educe their sneezes but I've tried to hold in a sneeze and I pulled a muscle in my back for two weeks I it happened I was like why were you holding it in because it

was Co and I was in the Metro he's trying to he's trying he understands the way the patriarchy works yeah he's doing his he's a feminist I was in the Metro and I was And I had a mask on and you know if you sneeze into your mask at the time it's disgusting so I tried to hold it in I was sitting down I must have been sat in a in a a correct position and I just went and for two weeks I had like this P this pulled muscle it I was like okay I'm

getting old now this is cuz that had never happened before think there's a lot of power that comes out and a sneeze and if you send that power back inside yourself you could really do yourself an Injury you know I've heard that yeah I mean you did you literally did but I I've heard also that if you hold the sneezes in you actually lose you know you lose brain cells can give you brain damage but that it's did you hear that I was told he the internet no I was told by a person a doctor

no I was told by a one of my students oh told me that uh so I was respectfully it was like a onetoone situation I was Like like that you know and she was like uh she was Germans I don't know if that makes a difference but she's like you know you should you should you shouldn't hold your sneeze back you should you know I was like what really you know trying to be respectful you know surely it's not polite for me just go splatter you know and she'd be like very good ah so we've

gone from one episode Where we talk about how we wipe in toilets how we go to the toilet are now sneezing more more liquid coming out of our bodies stick stick to the sneezing this is when my son sneezes so he is 14 months old he'll sit there in his high chair and he'll just go like that and then just just like green an green alien jumps out of his nose and stays just dangles its legs and stays on its top lip does pow green alien does he eat it no it just stays there and

he normally Will start laughing it stays there and I have to jump in and wipe it off his nose I'm talking about snot obviously listen is not an actual alien my son is hasn't been um what's what would be the word for it abducted or and injected with somehow uh implanted with some alien that lives within his nose no I'm talking about snot coming out of his nose yeah Co yeah yeah yeah sneezing is nice though I like I enjoy sneezing I'm not you you're going to you know I have The right to enjoy a

sneeze but obviously if I'm in if I'm in if I'm in other company though I wouldn't just POW let the sneeze go I think that's I would I'd maybe try and do it into the corner of the AR an arm or something sneeze is satisfying I'm just saying that older men are very performative with their sneezes I think it's a biological thing is it maybe survival you know like an older man he's got to watch out for his heart your dad when he was in his 20s he Didn't sneeze like that no but I'm I

can feel myself becoming that because that's my question at what point do you turn into that giant sne because I think your sneezers just get stronger as you get older and it's harder and harder hold in I think that's on I could hold in a sneeze easily when I was like 17 I used to do it all the time proud of it but now I can't because it's too the the the what comes like the the pressure is too is too much something something this Feels like some sort of metaphor see you're politicizing everything within

the context of the patriarchy and the way it works which you know I understand but I mean sneezing as white heterosexual men showing their dominance sneezing is just a thing you said it feminist think you know maybe as the uh whatever it is like the diaphragm in a man's thorax sort of expands with age maybe the potential for more powerful sneezing becomes greater and also maybe There's even a subconscious thing which is like if I hold this sneeze in maybe I'll [ __ ] get a heart attack or something you know I'm never holding one

in again after that I after that and then you know oh I think I think I sent a broken a rib I a shock wave through my through my already not great not that healthy heart you know the average 65y old man has got to you know watch out for these things but then again you know uh I don't know maybe not they say Didn't that don't they say that it's an eighth of an orgasm a sneeze have you like have you never heard that a sneeze is it's the same student he giving you these

details don't they say Hey Siri is a sneeze equivalent to an eighth of an orgasm you can tell how old he is because he waited after the hey Siri yeah you can just Siri's response I don't have an answer to that Siri is rubbish well you say that but I've never I never use Siri I use it all the time I never use Siri I don't like to talk to devices my cousin uh and his wife so we stayed with them on holiday this year they've got Alexa yes Alexa to Alexa if if you put

Alexa in a room with Siri Alexa would just basically just wipe the floor with Siri and you know Alexa is insane you can just be o Alexa you know just Alexa's like that Olympic Boxer that was no there was that controversy about The the woman from uh is it Morocco is she from get into that no but I mean it's like she she clearly has cuz you know bodies human bodies are different and she's stronger than other people you know what I mean it's like that's just what it's like it's like Alexa beating down Siri

just being like yeah I have more testosterone in my body than [ __ ] exactly I I had a random thought you know um back to the Olympics yeah uh Basketball normal basketball like basketball what that we all know the NBA yeah yeah I was thinking why is that not a par Olympic sport regular you mean not in wheelchairs yeah because go on cuz they're they have they have yeah they have sports for uh uh Little People okay right I I watched shotput little people shot put yeah it's it's impressive it looks amazing yeah yeah

so but also so I feel like their life when when when You're a little person I think like your daily life is as inconvenienced as a person who's 7 fo2 but I feel like sports right sports that are not Paras sports are sports for able-bodied people okay that just work really hard in what they're doing yeah right but for some reason basketball is like the only sport where you need the genetic advantage of being taller because if you want to run 100 met you if did you never see Peter Crouch play Football yeah but I

mean he like do you know what I mean like he could have played basketball as well but you can only play basketball because you can also be a footballer and be short you can't be a basketball player and be short but you're not likely to be defense are you I mean like your physical attributes also are do get involved but you can beef up to be a a you can get wider you can't get some People can though but I mean like Michael Phelps you know he was sort of he had this like extra large

lung capacity and gigantic feet and like he gills yes exactly he was he was an exception the NBA is full of all of those exceptions there's no one in the NBA who's my height they're all genetically Superior because they've made this they've made a standard now like because because tool works better for Them they' just chosen tall people yeah do you know what I mean wait a minute you're saying that so the little people are in the Paralympics because they're at a disadvantage in many in you know because of the height restriction that they have

exactly whereas um uh extremely tall people in the NBA you're saying they're also at a disadvantage why because they can't lean you kitchen if they if they came to my kitchen they'd have a broken back by the end Because they're bending down to pick up a a why why is why is it a disability to be short but not a disability to be 7t tall cuz they're banging their head all the time they can't get get you on an airplane you know what I mean it was just a fun I I think there's a fun

there's a there's a there's an interesting but you're riding of quite a quite a dangerous line there though aren't you yeah but that's what comedy is isn't it yeah you got Amber's Going to be the voice of the voice of re she's too woke she's too woke to even find to even entertain the where you stand on this potential idea that basketball could be a par Olympic sport not wheelchair basketball just basketball basketball cuz they're all weirdly tall they they're so tall that it's a disadv they're atage all tennis players that you we could have

all become tennis players we could have all become swimmers we could We could have all be if we tried if we tried hard did do tennis at school you go uh and I'd hear cuz I was quite shortsighted I'd hear them hit the ball and then I'd just i' duck um and I hope it wouldn't hit me I don't think I could have been a tennis player is what I'm trying to say yeah but that's just you I'm afraid being afraid of the ball I couldn't really see it either I'm very yeah but if didn't

wear glasses until I was like 12 I really Needed them like my whole life um no I I hear what your I'm not being serious about it it's just it's it's it's the premise of a you're testing out a potential joke on stage and you know well you're not but you know you're not wrong in some respects because if you look back into the Glorious Days of the past where you had like freak shows which were a real thing being weirdly tall was was really unusual and it was a sort Of like roll up roll

up kind of come and see and like in some ways these guys who do basketball it's not a disability um but it is an inconvenience and I think that is quite an important difference it's inconvenient being tall it can be a real disability to be yes let let's not uh cuz as short I'm short you know but I'm not a little person no but your life isn't more inconvenience than mine by being shorter there's also physical aspect which is different like they also Like if you're a little person there is another element to it I

actually follow this guy on Tik Tok this little person and he talks about the history of little people and it's fascinating I got to follow him I love that stuff he's really really fascinating so he's really interesting but I mean a lot of it was a bit mean you know there was a lot of like back in the day you mean getting getting you know collecting little people like sort of trophies especially Courts in Europe and sort of making them drink and fight and do things inhume very inhumane very inhumane although some cultures were like

these people are better people but lots woring them in some way were not yeah exactly fascinating though yes it is fascinating isn't it okay well good luck with that getting cancelled but anyway you know you're always welcome on the podcast that's the next time I'll be on this podcast is my Redemption story I would Have been cancelled and Luke will be like listen come and tell your side of the story on my podcast that's right I'll talk to I'll talk to anyone that's the thing about my podcast I'll just talk to him without judgment joog

English yeah I talk to anyone without any judgment by only talk to people who' make jokes about disabled dead pigeons that's it so yeah you just been kind look forward to the comment section people get very bent out of shape about The dead pigeon the dead rat and the the the the par Olympics the little should include regular also I'm I'm I I was I can't remember what thing I was reading about like where tennis basket football rugby they shouldn't even be in the Olympics because cuz they already have their thing every all year every

year like basketball they get enough attention don't they the Premier League is on all year why are they getting Olympic sport no we need sports that Don't have we need to add like versions of football like five aside football would be fun in thep is different like Sarah saw the women's rugby and it wasn't like a full match they did these sort of like mini matches it was rugby sevens yeah whatever it was seven minute seven minute halfes or something like I agree though I don't think football should be in the Olympics cuz it's on

all the time it's never not on good point tennis should be out of the Olympics yeah they've got their own stuff tennis exactly agree basketball should be out of there they've got agree they've got their own stuff okay then what about uh break dancing then this year did you see all the break dancing things do you know that I worked on a break dancing film documentary really no yes okay voice over or did you do break dancing uh both no neither I break dancing expert I am actually yeah okay I know have you met Ray

Gan sadly not met Rayun but you know so the break dancing at the Olympics this year was a sort of uh interesting one because a lot of people argued that it shouldn't have been in the Olympics it's not going to be in the next one and the thing that obviously has been shared so much on social media is the routine by rayun the Australian women's break dance um one of the one of the uh cont uh contestants athletes um and poor girl has been like completely ripped to shreds on on social Media for her routine

which was I mean kind of funny right it sort of ended up being kind of a funny routine where she's doing like these little animal moves and she's sort of spinning around on the floor it looks like somebody making fun of break dancers that's what her routine looked like for somebody remember Amber woke so she's going to have different I can already see the woke face being like I don't agree with anything that is being Said no I did not say so anyway you were you were you were just positioning yourself as the break dance

expert there have you got a PhD in uh physical movement well I mean like ragun because does isn't she a professor of dance it's it's it's a social movement isn't it cultural movement like physically but including dance yeah it's largely break she's kind of like the professor of break dance yeah well no when like that a long time ago so not long after I Moved to France I thought I've done lots of different jobs I thought I want to be uh working in TV and film film and TV that's what I thought I wanted to

do so there was this um film being made this documentary being made and I can't remember how I got involved in it I was just basically like can I help and they were like for free and I was like yeah and they were like yeah you can help can you break dance great get in it the film and TV industry folks so I started Working on this like documentary called Planet B boy and um and one of my jobs was translating um the interviews from the break dancers because it was like an American Crew and

luckily one of the guys like that was filming was in thing he was completely bilingual because my French was so bad it's like 20 years ago and I remember just being like I'm going to translate it and there's this one point where I was like he so the guy was Interviewing I was like translating what the break dancer was saying and like our friend TBO who sort of camera producer all this thing was like under a blanket kind of next to us like doing some sort of sound but you know cuz we're in this really

small space like the flat of this guy and he was like you don't and I was just like oh it's not and I just couldn't find it I couldn't find like the word like in English and then from under the blanket TBO was like Obvious this is TBO TBO that I know TBO probably yeah okay and um anyway so um Planet B boy so they were following like the French crew and they were following them all around and then they went with the French crew who got accepted in this like big break dancing competition in

Germany in brag um and all these different like Crews came in from everywhere and so we went there as well which is also where I discovered that Germans don't all speak English I really Thought that everyone in Germany spoke English not in brown [ __ ] no they don't they so that's two things we' learned about the Germans one they don't all speak English and two they believe that you should sneeze openly without holding it in because otherwise brain damage might occur although that is just based on one single German person's uh I think she

speaks for all Germans I think so yeah I mean yeah right that's probably a good it works that's how I'm going to Get cancelled folks in this episode you make generalizations across for all Germans okay um so so you remember sorry were any of you on that show like in the soim naaz where I was talking about Germans the the way Germans name their kids game wait a minute so you are at this point uh tanging to a memory of a standup show where you were on stage and you started talking about the way Germans

do what the way Germans call kids games they have they have weird Names for they have quite if you translate it to English like red light green light you know where you stand up against the wall face the wall and then all the kids as a kid everyone has to run you turn around you stop that's called peek behind the curtain we call it uh what time what's the what time is it Mr Wolf or no that's around the tree all right that's Peak behind the curtain and the French call and and okay and the

Germans who's scared of the black man o Oo okay okay that's what they traditionally call it I'm sure they still do no well at least seven years ago they did uhhuh anyway you said this on stage I was there at this show I remember woman and the woman in the audience shouted out that's racist I'm like take it up with I know that's why I'm talking about it like she was calling me racist I'm like well but that's why I'm talking about this because it's kind of weird that They would call that that to be

honest with you and cuz the musical chairs for them yes back in the day was called the road to Jerusalem MH because the more and more you go throughout the game more and more people drop out yeah right yeah I'm like that's okay that's that's right is it that's right the road to Jerusalem it feels like a crusader thing doesn't it well what uh you're think okay shall I ask what you were thinking that well no but it just seems like that that that That's it just seems it seems racist it sounds it doesn't feel

okay it sounds like the 40 days and 40 nights of like you people are just dying as their as your's the kids game after this sit this horrible human rights tragedy where people died on the road to attemp yeah yeah I mean there's chairs and there's music why not just call it musical chair which is which to be fair is very ungerman because they often sort of say what they see do you know what I mean Like they really have musical chairs would be more almost the same we're quite pragmatic in the way we describe

things too but the Germans it would just be one single long word wouldn't it oh yeah they they've probably changed it since but I remember seven years ago cuz I was anyway so that was my recollection of I was I was like we are going to get cancelled for being ger anti- German on this podcast today no but we love Germany yeah we do don't we and the Germans not just their land we also love the people oh I love Germany um yes German and the Germans yeah I'd have loved them more if they spoke

a bit English though on this particular on this particular they're very good at English now cuz obviously so many of them listen to Luke's English podcast but uh well they are in Berlin but less so in smaller areas BR in brag so wait just remind us where we were you were tell break Dancing documentary break dancing in Germany in brag brch [ __ ] brch [ __ ] I believe it's called my German I mean I can criticize the Germans do I speak German no I don't absolutely zero if I just point a finger at

you now like that just for a moment there you don't need to write any comments cuz I pointed a finger at Amber and that's fine now isn't it yes exactly so yeah um justice has been done the scales have been reset allowed to carry on so you were in so I Was there so I've seen a lot of break dance I've seen a lot of break dance and competitive break dance and people in Crews doing their break dancing and it was um quite spectacular it's very acrobatic you know the the team that was that won

and was the best was the no the German one yeah were the Koreans yeah amazing I mean they were really really good but break dancing even though I did all of that and I watched it all I did often think there's a lot Of fannying around lot of lot of getting on lot of kind of crawling down onto the floor and getting up again yeah cuz when they do the fancy moves like the acrobatic moves you're like that's good but you could just watch gymnastics which is better that's quite a lot of like like in

walking around and showing the attitude stepping forward stepping back stepping forward stepping back a lot of holding your hat holding your hat a bit step forward a get down on the Floor everyone's like okay good when's he going to when's he going to spin on his head just just spin on your head that's what we want to see and it's like no going that's like saying yeah synchronized swimming might as well watch uh figure skating same thing basketball might as well just watch football do you know what I mean yeah Absol only need to see

one ball game in in the world precisely well we've just cancelled half of them That we don't went in the Olympics or they've canell us yeah so what was your opinion on Ray gun's performance did you see it yeah it was impossible not to see to be honest I see I all over the Internet yeah everyone was I thought it was almost like on purpose I thought it was cute actually I thought it was kind of funny it's complicated because what does what does it mean I think the problem is that like what does it

mean to be an Olympian and and you know when You clearly not that much I know what you're saying cuz you see you see Simone biles who's running and doing the most insane how many times she's spinning in the air in all these different directions Landing without being able to see the ground and all this stuff it's insane and then there's Reay gun who's kind of like rolling on the floor trying to be a snake yeah and then trying to be like a kangaroo for a moment and then going on her knee holding her hat

and Then it's like can I have a gold medal please well yeah well she did get zero so no one was giving her AAL she is still world number one though no she is really in Australia women she's the world number one break dancing I mean I don't care women's which is crazy it's not the end of the world though the thing is it makes you realize it is very difficult to hold a sort of standard like how do you say this is what we're looking for When it comes to something which does have an

artistic element to it and break dancing does have an artistic element but then people do but then if you're going to have break dancing well why not have ballet and you I mean ballet I mean ballerinas are incredible athletes I mean they are amazing but it it does feel that like is it a sport it's not not a sport being a dancer but there is a big part of it which is just about like comedy which is about the person on Stage like you can write a good joke but if you've got no personality you

can't sell that joke and we were talking about that earlier and that's it about Dance I'm not naming any names I'm not naming any names carry on but like you know you can have all the moves but you also have to have like you know the sort of Jes the passion I mean is if that's is that her routine all the time it's a similar sort of style or no cuz it's a bit freestyle you know that's the whole Thing about you can't know 100% what you're no but I but every time I see a

break dancer I'm like that's break dancing yeah when I said that it looked like she was making fun of them it kind of felt like that but then also is it like is if she's always doing that and that's how she got to world number one cuz she's got she's different and she's got a a different way of doing it that's awesome but if if that's not her normal style then it's then it's kind of like Oh that's interesting you chose to do that within break dancing it might be a different story it might be

like she's as you said she's original she's got her own style and she's sort of telling a story in a way you know whereas outside of break dancing everyone else is looking at break Dan within the context of the Olympics thinking when are you when are you going to spin on your head and if you don't spin on your head or do something like that then you know I'm Not going to be impressed yeah you know people don't understand necessarily how to how to judge break dancing well there has been some weird events in the

history of the Olympics I believe there was like a poetry competition yeah there was like poetry I think there was a pigeon speaking of pigeons there was a pigeon killing competition oh yeah that makes sense you know like clay pigeon shooting real pigeons real pigeons there have been some sort of you know because Not just a pigeon killing competition or like just like anyone can kill my cat would have won the gold medal EXA cuz if it was a pigeon killing competition it'd be like right freestyle you can kill the pigeon any way you want

you know grenades uh bow and arrow poison you know go for it it was a shooting comp speak of shooting the other major internet winner for the tur oh he what a legend he was right incredible so there was in terms of the the shooting um I Don't know exactly what the event is called is it just shooting but yeah there was the Turkish guy so there's all the a lot of the other Shooters I don't know if that's the right word either but they they've got a lot of Technology they've they've got special sites

on their guns and weighted guns he just rocks up and just closes one of his eyes like that's that's and just like looks so cool like out of a western film where he just goes just like pow go but There's also the Korean so girl cool who was really cool ice cold so sexy yeah she was very very hot oh my God but then when you saw her an interview she was very sweet and smiley but when she was shooting Ice Cold going back to like what defines an Olympic sport I mean yeah exactly mean

like he was he was he was smoking he was like where's the smoking room like he like smokes drinks doesn't care he's fat he doesn't he's doesn't eat any Equipment he took it up because he was like going through a bad time with his wife and motivation everyone needs a you know deadline the motivation but like you know same thing I mean at least ray gun Can Dance I mean you might not like her dancing but she's more athletic like than he was yeah I mean darts is technically a sport yeah well just go like

Pon like patonk thing yeah yeah how is Paton not part of the French try to include it in the Olympics and the Olympic Committee said no well I mean the paralympic botcher is basically patonk but with different balls right where they throw the the Jack and then you have to get close you know the the French girl who won who like won everyone's hearts and won the the medal and stuff it was like in it's it's really I can't remember her name or I think her name is um she destroyed she crushed it and it

was like it but it's a it's a like a new sport but it's patonk But with different Siz balls basically Paton listeners in case you don't know is a sort of like staple of French uh life and culture it's a game that people play all up and down the country and it involves sort of like well my joke is it's basically just dropping things in in the street or dropping things in in the dirt no it's you you you throw a little ball down and you have you've got these metal balls and you throw them

and get them close to the to the jack to That that ball it's actually a great fun game a lovely game to play um of a Sunday afternoon but if you're really with a a true French person you don't even bend down to pick up the balls exactly you got the magnet the magnet it's the frenchiest sport ever it's just like just even even that even the way you play it sort of seems dismissive in some way just like there you go it's an ex it's just an excuse to be outside drinking isn't it and

smoking No one's count no one keeps score no one knows what score it is it's like why isn't Cricket in the Olympics cuz no one else so long how it because the Olympics would never end I mean how long is a cricket match it could be days but you could start out on day one and it could carry on good point no you've got you've got one day cricket and you've one day Cricket I mean Cricket yeah you can make 20 20 20 2020 2020 that's where you have 20 overs Versus 20 overs because the

rest of the world could never begin to understand the rules there too many well yeah but you can say that for almost every Olympic no you can get behind it you can watch a sport you've never seen before on the Olympics and suddenly you're like oh yeah get round that post you you get the idea Cricket you're like I'm sorry what it bounced on the it just it roll what's happening what's happening now the rest of the world cannot they cannot Understand Cricket which is a great pity because it's such a great game it's the

second still the second most popular spectator sport in the world mhm it's not because of the English what do you mean well it's English Cricket no no the Cricket World Cup is uh iset is the um the Cricket World Cup I looked this up because it was part of a joke of mine but I can't remember the the statistic but it's like it's it's it's number three in the sporting There's the there's the men's World Cup uhhuh the men's the the the Olympics and then it's the Cricket World Cup then it's like the Women's World

Cup then I it's like top three of the world's most sporting well I watched like a billion people watch theck world because because it's big in like India and Pakistan they love it but in England it's big in England is big in England but I'm saying it's not out there because of England we're too small oh right yeah it's not Because we watched it Indian Pakistan they also watch the Olympics and they also watch other sports sure but yeah it's like the number three sporting golf golf's not in it no but why why not boring

as well yeah but is that if that's a definition of an Olympic sport all the equestrian stuff is boring I actually really I like I like golf I like watching golf on TV for because for me it's I've got a category of sports which I call ambient Sports M and golf is an ambient sport for me along with snooker um and Cricket as well especially long test matchet well snook is very calming you know exactly it's an ambient sport if you you can put it on like when my son was a little baby and wouldn't

sleep through the night I would rock him to sleep while watching snooker it was the only thing I could watch without without it kind of giving me a headache or something watching it uh It's just very calming I'll put snooker on it relaxes me watch a bit of gol golf it just really chills me out Cricket is the same uh Lawn Bowling is another ambient sport that could be in the Olympics they used to put it they used to show it on like BBC 2 on on on like weekday weekday afternoons when I was a

student I would watch a bit of Lawn Bowling very relaxing cuz basically curling is the ice version of that and curling's an Olympic sport so why isn't Why not Lawn Bowling yeah cuz it does take up quite a lot of space that's the well and curling doesn't a you need an i you need ice for a start this is true Bowling Winter Olympics yeah it's true have we have have we scraped the the the bottom of the barrel of this subject now I think we've done the Olympics the Olympics is done should we go back

to sneezing or uh farting uh did that did that recently did we not farting I mean talking about Farting did we not we no with someone else I've been podcasting with other people so told you my daughter's obsess so is mine she loves it what did you have what did you have for lunch today nothing farts they gave you farts at the just farts oh she's not obsessed in that she's obsessed of like when it happens she loves it she what she's obsessed with the with talking about it talking about farting she's and calling us

farts She's not doing it all the time she's just she's not especially farting no Louise would do like snipers where I'll be like did you fart and she just has the biggest smile on her face she like yeah silent but deadly yeah she does the pull my finger thing as well does she I wonder where she I did it once I did it once with her and she found it hilarious and now she's like Pap Pap put my finger I'm like going and and then she she Can't time it right it it takes practice she

needs to keep doing it again and again and again and again she'll get a different result though Ely do you think everyone in the world knows what pull my finger is I don't know there going to be I don't know where that even started if it's a if it's what country it originated in I'd be surprised if they knew about it in I don't know well let us know listeners in the comments do you know what pull my finger means it's like I mean you've got a fart somebody said if you've got a fart that's

brewing and you know it's coming out you say to somebody pull my finger and as they pull your finger you fart and everyone laughs and then you get cancelled from your job at I don't know Nam sort of woke industry here although farting is there is there any problem with farting in the woke world I I don't think so I think farting is okay farting is all right isn't it for the moment yeah I think Farting is okay if anything um we should all be farting more promotes good gut health which probably but then so

she's obsessed with farting the other thing is is stealing food like stealing sweets but she will be covert about I wonder stealing sweets and then then like Did we tell you that Louise stole back the the the the fev from the king's cake that your son stole okay so give me the the the the the short long version is um Amber Nico And the kids came over to your place to our place for the G the French king's cake which on the 6th of January stting from there The Epiphany you cut pieces of a cake

one of them's got a little lucky charm inside made out of porcelain choking hazard choking hazard France don't care yeah how many children every year let's not go there anyway yeah exactly and so you collect these little Lucky Charms yeah right so because there's multiple kids and multiple Adults we got a few of the king's cakes yeah that day so there's several several Lucky Charms Lucky Charms we needed at least three cuz there was three kids okay yeah I see but we got I think we got four because if if one of the kids doesn't

get a lucky charm they're going to cry exactly every child has to get one we had we had I think we had two cakes but we had enough slices and I think we put extra ones in we knew ahead and so we'd shoved we'd made sure all The children had child child okay all the kids had a child all all the kids got one and there was some left over some some cake some cake left over there was one slice of cake left over but you could see that there that was the actual charm was

in that cake oh I see the fourth charm the real one yeah was in that one I see I see so uh uh amber Sun being the legend that he is was like Ninja the Ninja he's like I I think I'm I think I figured out how to get this Happening he's he's found a way to get he's found a way a way to get it at some point the girls so Amber's daughter and my daughter yeah they're like they they summon the four adults and like oh come upstairs we've got something to show you

we're like oh cool and they're like and so then we go upstairs to my daughter's room yeah and then their imagination ran out they had nothing for us you what was the thing that you had oh uh and immediately like wait what's going on no No no we were just like oh okay we just thought they're rubbish okay cuz four four-year-olds and 5-year-olds can be a bit rubbish CU they might say we' got something really special to show you you get into the room what's the special thing oh uh um yeah cuz for me I'd

be like right what's going on well we were like what's going on they're like oh whatever and we're like oh okay anyway we come we go back downstairs we we enjoy the rest of our day mean by the Way meanwhile hold on yeah CU cuz it comes together in like a Sherlock Holmes way afterwards perect where we carry on drinking enjoying adult life the kids are playing and at some point again the girls are like okay we've got something to show you both or you're both all all four of you yeah we go oh okay

so then they take us we're downstairs in our sort of between the kitchen and the living room area where they get us to watch them pretend to do like a little Dance thing okay right so they're Dancing Yeah meanwhile Amber sun behind you behind us has managed to get stealthily a stool that we have for Louise every time she needs to get something on the kitchen counter he's got on that and he's grabbed a uh the one of the we have a jar of sweets at a height level where Louise was never able to get

it but while we're watching this we don't we don't really see what's happening until like the very end where We see that he's like climbing reaching into the sweet thing to steal some sweets for him and the the two girls right and we're like oh that's cheeky oh isn't he so intelligent isn't this a m oh oh nice one yeah well it was a ruse we it was a ruse anyway they've gone home at this point right and I sometime later sometime later like you know uh a short time later a few moments later I

like I'm upstairs in the bedroom in mine and Addy's bedroom and I I think I'm Going out for a run or something like that like or whatever it was and I see like crumbs of the the the the special king cake like next to my wardrobe bit like that's weird yeah and then I'm like what so I go Louise were you eating the were you eating some King like how did that end up there she's like oh I don't know whatever that's weird and then I see like on the upstairs like in different parts of

of the different rooms there's Crumbs there's more and more crumbs of this king's cake like an Evidence Trail yeah and then also I think Louise knew that there was uh another bit of lucky charm left so anyway I see on this thing and I go Louise why is there what what is going on here and it eventually comes out that Hugo had stolen that last piece of cake to get the lucky chance Yeah while so he'd sent the girls upstairs to to distract us get you out of the room get us out of the room

so that he could take that and then took the lucky charm back with him yeah and so Louise was re like upset that he'd stolen cuz it was our cake because I think we bought one cake you guys bought one cakes and it was our cake that had the lucky charm in that he stole and he stole wait so he stole it and took it upstairs and ate it in different runes Presumably yeah I don't even know he' eaten it he just he's like a magpie oh no just because we we found the the slice

of the cake in the toilet bathroom bin yeah it was in the bin of the that was it I forgot DET they're not good at covering their tracks it was in the bin it was in the bin where you put like cotton pads and thing I'm like what is the cake that was it and then that's when I went to Lou I'm like what's going On here and then she she cracked she cracked under CIA interrogation pressure she was like it was you go like giving her a cigarette it's all right no problem just like

lighting this around then slapping the cigarette of our hands what happened to the cake so I texted Amber I'm like Amber stop protecting Hugo Amber this is what's happened this is genius and then we're like that's why they wanted to do the play afterwards we caught him the second time we didn't Catch him the first time we didn't realize we just thought the first time they wanted to show us the bedroom and do a little thing or a dance and they didn't have anything and the second time I think he was like oh I need

to rework this plan it didn't work as well and then so Louise was back at theirs a few a month or so ago whenever it was two months ago and she managed to cuz she came when I saw her back she had the little the thing I'm like where did she Get that she stole it back oh brilliant oh wait so so he'd stolen uh the cake which is actually yours that by rights Louise owned the little magic mag magic thing magic charm uh but one and then yeah when when Louise visited your house she

found it and she stole it back again wow these like well my daughter is not that cunning cuz she will just steal stuff but then later she be like I'm not that hungry cuz I stole quite a lot of sweets today and we're like and you're Like sorry what I'm sorry we've had to like completely take everything cuz she just I found the tub of peanut butter she' like hidden under her bed she' just been eating it with a spoon I was like you're going to get ants like stop stealing things yeah One Last Detail

though in this Sherlock Holmes mystery what about the trail of crumbs in different rooms I don't know I think he must have just taken and tried to find maybe a place to hide the rest of the Cake because he's carrying this cake which is and those cakes do drop quite a lot of crumbs they felo pastry what you call the pastry is quite flaky so he's got this thing and he's going to different rooms searching for the best place to to hide it he's gone around everywhere leaving a trail behind him until he finally found

his way to a bathroom where he put it in the bin in the toilet was closed you know like a lock room mystery it really was it was So good because I I I was like cuz I'd asked my wife like did you eat some of the cake in our bedroom for some like for some reason like what are you talking about she like there's just a couple of crumbs there you know not thinking about it too much just thinking cuz Louise does silly things so whatever but then the more and more crumbs I found

I'm like what is going and then when I found the like half of it in the bin you like the crafty little yeah Exactly exactly it's like oh this is amazing this is like Oceans 11 type stuff yeah like that film when you watch it the first time you're like wow that's amazing that was for me was on that level someone could have filmed him doing that as a montage right it would have been made a really good two-minute Montage of him planning and then executing the Perfect Crime yeah kids are like that though I

remember so my little brother Kyle his younger sister Who we're not related but it's you know the the the that's how he's your half brother he's my half brother and Technically she's his half sister right okay so she's just some girl she's just some girl yeah but we so the two years that I lived in Madrid as I mentioned at the beginning of the of the podcast the two years was with them so my dad and Kyle and May's Mom right okay um so she's kind of your sister yeah and so she was six years

old at the time and I Had it was the time when like digital cameras were just starting to come out so I had this like quite nice digital camera that I guess my dad bought me for my birthday or something and it had gone missing yeah I couldn't find it anywhere and I wanted it couldn't didn't know what was going on eventually ended up finding it under her pillow uh in the bedroom and she denied everything she was like no it must have gotten there in another way like I she would you know it Was

like this whole this whole like sh and and it made sense so we're like oh maybe okay and cuz Kyle couldn't talk he was three at the time yeah so he couldn't talk so he couldn't she was like oh him yeah whatever and then when I turn on the camera camera it's just her there's there's like a picture of her in front of her mirror in the bedroom like she's taking a picture of herself I'm like oh really well what's this and then she Just ran out crying be like she's been found out and that's

it was piled up against her fantastic kids are amazing like that yeah totally I love that guys uh it's been a fantastic time this has been a long one how long have we been going long we've been going for 2 hours and 20 nearly 20 2 hours and 20 minutes is a two-parter no I don't know I think I'll just shut one episode if you're still listening to this then let us know in The comments on YouTube or on the website or indeed or on the website or anywhere with the hashtag what what what's the

special end of episode hashtag uh king cake or uh evidence or um let's see we need to have something F no we done we did the farts sneezing no no has to be a king case hasht auu auu a c h o o auu a in as in a sneeze that is English for sneeze that's how a sneeze is written in English but I feel like there's something else though That would prove that someone had got all the way to the end of this story about the uh the king's they would have only King's cap

mystery but you could also just put hashtag um I lived in Madrid it doesn't matter if they've cuz they won't know to do the hashtag unless they've listened to this bit now exactly okay cuz he's telling them about the hashtag now that's the whole point in in a hashtag at the end of the episode okay Thenu yeah right back at you listeners okay to do that one and you will automatically uh be Luke's favorite people uh since you have listened to the whole of this podcast yeah and don't forget to sign up to Luke's English

podcast premium for extra episodes that feature lots of vocabulary grammar pronunciation teaching uh PDF uh PDFs are available that sounded like the terms and conditions at the end of a radio advert like hey come and join supp If you've been affected by any of the issues in today's program just um sign up to Luke Ang podcast premium in order to learn how to talk about them with better vocab there you go interesting okay uh episode 900 done in the bag exciting thank you for having us back thank you for being back really I really appreciate

it taking the time to travel over here to do this I really enjoyed it and uh let's get together again at some point to do this again all right Absolutely yeah cool fantastic thanks everyone am cheers bye bye bye I like how he's still doing the B after Can't Stop