Caught Fiancée Texting Her Ex She Misses Him; I Called Off The Wedding And Ghosted Her.

Caught fiancé texting her ex. She misses him. I called off the wedding and ghosted her.

I, 26 male, have been engaged to a woman, 27 female, let's call her Ellie. We were supposed to be married next month and moments ago I found her sexting with her ex. It hurts so much.

Huh, okay. So, I've been seeing this woman for over 4 years. Last summer, she brought up the topic of getting married.

Honestly, I was taken aback. Not that I wasn't serious, but the thought of marriage didn't cross my mind. But when she talked about it, I was like, why not?

I loved her, we'd known each other for 5 years, dating for four. The next move was definitely marriage for me. So, we planned a spring wedding this year.

This New Year, I bought her a ring to call it official. She too gave me a ring on Valentine's Day. I thought everything was perfect until it wasn't.

I cannot imagine she has been doing this behind my back. Sorry for spreading this all over. So, Ellie has gone for a two-day work trip this morning while I'm working from home.

We have a common PC at home. Since she works for a bank, she's not allowed to open her personal email on her work laptop, so she uses the home PC most of the time. I have my personal email logged into my office laptop.

I also have a tab, so I rarely use the PC. To her bad luck, my laptop crashed, and I had to use the home PC. I logged in through my email and continued with my work.

I didn't notice her mailbox was open in another minimized browser. After a while, I saw an email pop up with the name Felix. Too tired to invent a fake name, so Felix, if you're reading this, screw you.

I knew that Felix was her college sweetheart and her ex. They had been dating throughout their college years. The reason for the breakup she gave me was that he moved back to his country.

It was almost a year after their breakup that we met, and almost a year after knowing each other, I asked her out. Once in the initial days of our dating, I was talking about my past relationship which didn't end well. I asked her how she felt about her past.

She told me that they broke up amicably, and she wasn't bitter about her ex at all. I don't know why, but it bothered me for a while for no reason. At that time, I asked her if she was still in touch with her ex.

She denied it. That was the end of the conversation. She didn't give me any reason to pester her on that point.

Fast forward to today, I saw Felix's email. I plainly opened it without thinking twice. Oh, my God.

It made me throw up. It was an endless chain of emails. The most outrageous thing I've ever seen.

This was talking about how she misses him every day and how she satisfies herself thinking about the wild nights they had. I mostly read her replies, not his. It was about sexual pleasures, how she touches herself, and how she gets wet just by thinking about him.

She describes how she wants to be touched by him, how she craves how he used to bang her back door. Her exact words were, "My a**hole itches to take you in. It's been ages since someone drilled that hole.

" I was puking after reading this. One moment, I thought, was it really her, or did the account get hacked or something? But it was a long ongoing thread for months.

I can't imagine she's the woman I was madly in love with. Let me tell you, she's a liar. We occasionally go anal.

In fact, she's the one who doesn't like it, saying it hurts her. I respect her choices and boundaries and never force her into something that she's not comfortable with. And this complains about her yearning a**hole.

. . At this moment, I really want to bang her hard and rough and rip her butt off.

Two days back, she had emailed him. I don't know why I'm even marrying this person when his 'weenie' is half of yours. Huh.

To this, he responds, "Huh, poor guy. Could you imagine the pain I went through while reading it? " And even while writing this, I want to bury myself somewhere.

How can I possibly face myself that my would-be wife was talking crap about me with her ex without giving me any clue? I'm continuously pinching myself to check if this is actually happening to me or if it's just a bad dream. It's kind of funny that on the same day when she wrote that email, she said to me, "You're too big for me.

You know my body so well. Booya, you're so good in bed. " This was her exact expression.

And don't forget these compliments, I tell you. Does this mean she was lying to me before? This question comes up.

Let me clarify, there has never been any problem in bed. She says she doesn't have a large appetite, and we do it mostly two to three times a week. She goes on a two-day work trip every 6 months, and she comes home horny.

I look forward to satisfying her after that. I really don't know what to do or how to react. Should I wait for her to return and have a confrontation before making any decision, or should I just ghost?

Honestly, there's so much rage inside me right now. I feel like smashing everything and burning down the house. I have not spoken to anybody yet, not my family or my friends.

I'm getting married next month. What do I even tell these people that my would-be wife was sexting her ex? While lying naked with me, I want to chase her down wherever she is, slam the screen in her face, and ask her for an explanation.

Has anyone been in this kind of situation before? How did you deal with this? Man, I'm freaking out.

Edit: I'm turning insane. My emotions are just so volatile. It's like a wave.

One moment, I think I should wait for her to come. Another moment drives me crazy, and I want to vanish Into Thin Air. Crap, I haven't moved from this chair for the last 2 hours ever since I discovered the cheating.

I guess I have wasted enough time just thinking about the situation. It's time for action. Hey OP, at least you found out before you made it official.

She's got enough energy to keep up with her ex while planning a wedding. Talk about multitasking. And then there's Felix, the guy who moved countries to get away yet still manages to worm his way back into her inbox.

What a guy. Well, I think the only thing you can do is leave, cancel the wedding, and when people ask why and what's going on, tell them the truth. She just can't let go of the past.

You deserve someone who's all in front and back, mind and heart. Update One: Hello, thanks fellas. I shut down the PC and then reopened this sub from my phone 6 hours later and boom, 50 plus comments.

Sorry for not being able to reply to each one of you, but I want to thank all of you who made an effort to read my mumbo jumbo story and comment and advise. Some of you picked up on me saying I was never engaged. How could I call her my fiancé?

I didn't know what social structure you guys follow, but in our case, since we were about to get married and we exchanged rings, I considered myself to be engaged. People asked if there were any red flags. No, hell no, no red flags at all.

She was the one who brought up the topic of marriage. In the last four years of dating, there was not a single sign of deceit. It was a perfect relationship.

That's what she made it look like. That's the reason I was so much in shock. My first relationship also ended with my girlfriend cheating on me, but it wasn't a shocker because she displayed the red flags all openly.

I caught her cheating at her very first instance. Hence, in this relationship, I always kept my eyes and ears open. Talking about updates.

So yeah, like most of you suggested, I ghosted. There was nothing left to be confronted with. After reading those long threads and emails.

I want to thank a particular user for a kicker suggestion. I downloaded the emails and forwarded them to my phone. Though I didn't need any advice yet, it never hurts to have it in my back pocket, you know, just in case.

So I printed it and kept it as a backup. Here comes the action. First, I changed the locks of the house.

Called my manager and told him about the crisis, not in detail, just at the surface level, that I had to call off my wedding. He sort of understood and gave me two weeks to get my crap together. I packed my stuff, booked a cheap motel for a month, and got a discounted rate because of the long stay.

Next, I packed all her stuff and sent it to storage. I kept the storage receipt at the door. She had synced her contacts and photos on her Gmail, so I deleted all of them.

We had a joint account where we were putting in money for our wedding. I took out my share, which was like 70%. I canceled the venue and got a 50% refund.

I canceled all the other bookings like the photographer, caterer, etc. , and got refunds from most of them. Basically, I utilized those two days to their full potential.

In these two days, she texted and called me as usual, but my ghosting had already started. I didn't block her yet. I wanted to see how she would react to all this.

If. . .

If she figured it out at all. There was a series of messages from her in those two days. "You know, I lost all my contacts from my phone.

All the photos are gone. I guess my phone is malfunctioning. Thank God it's backed up on the home PC.

What's up with you? Are you okay? Why aren't you replying?

Why are you mad at me? What happened to you? Why aren't you responding to my calls?

" She contacted my parents and brother to check if I was fine. They had no clue about all this. Mom immediately called me.

I answered her call and told her not to say a word to Ellie. Just tell her that I didn't respond. I promised Mom I would come home the next day and explain everything.

She did what I said. The text continued: "Are you safe? Say something, babe.

You're scaring me. Are you safe, my butt? As if she cares.

" This went on for 2 days until she arrived home to find the house locked and her key nonfunctional. I went to my parents and informed them I was calling off the wedding. I told them Ellie had been emotionally cheating on me.

That's it. No details. They understood and didn't probe further.

They're sure to support me through all means, only if I promise not to harm myself. I said I had crossed that phase and was safe in that way. Here's the meaty part.

Ellie lost her mind. When she saw the house was locked, she got the storage paper at the doorstep. It was signed by me, quite predictable.

She relentlessly bombarded my phone with her calls and voicemails. What the hell? Happened, are you at home?

Why did you do this to me? Did you find someone else after making fun of me with her ex? She had the audacity to turn around on me and question if I was cheating on her.

It was kind of satisfying to see her go through waves of emotions. Her texts and voicemails said so. At one point, she started begging, "Baby, why are you doing this to me?

I love you, we're going to get married next month. Whatever issue you have, we can surely resolve it. " Then another moment, she goes, "You're a coward and a juvenile son of a witch.

You're no man, you chose to hide. I know you've been effing behind my back. " She was projecting her insecurities onto me.

When she eventually realized that I had deleted her contacts and pictures and whisked out my share from the joint account, she went crazy. She turned explosive, and that's when I blocked her. She's already hurt me enough, I didn't want to take any more abuse from her.

People mentioned in the comments that I dodged a bullet, indeed I did. Phew, I've been living in a motel until I figure out what's next. Thank God the wedding invite was not out yet, sending a cancellation would have been another hassle with so many questions and explanations.

I haven't gotten a call from any of her family members, friends, or acquaintances. I've not shown her emails to anyone yet, but I've kept them safe. I have blocked her from everywhere, I've exited all the groups we were part of.

Thanks for all the comments. Last day was worse, today is no better but lighter than that day. I hope to come out of this.

Thanks. I feel like that's such a cheater thing to do, if someone accuses you of being unfaithful, accuse them right back. Here's to the OP for turning what could have been a disastrous wedding into a triumph of self-respect and quick thinking.

You've shown resilience, intelligence, and a killer sense of humor. Keep riding this wave of liberation, and before you know it, you'll be looking back on this as the best bullet you ever dodged. Update Two: Hello all, it's been a while since then.

Starting from where I left off. . .

After being denied entry into the house she thought I was inside, she banged on the door and window and only stopped when the angry neighbors came out to shut her up. She then showed up at my workplace. I had predicted her move hence I took a break.

I informed the reception that any visitors looking for me should know that I was on sabbatical for the near future. Ellie left a note for me at the reception, it read, "You can't hide from me, you son of a witch. I'm going to hunt you down and rip you apart.

" I was floored by her shamelessness. After what she had done to me, she had the balls to write such things to me. It boiled my blood and I wanted to hunt her down, find her cheating butt, and rip it apart.

But I knew it was her move. She deliberately wrote that, she's a manipulative witch and she knows how to use her words to play with others' emotions. I took a deep breath and talked myself out of this thought.

All this was making me crazy so I called my manager and asked if I could work remotely instead of sulking in bed all day. He approved it and told me to take the work easy. I worked remotely for a month, the motel was at a remote corner of the town.

I intentionally chose a secluded place, I didn't want to see any familiar faces. After locking myself away for a couple of days, I stepped out, roamed around the nearby woods and an abandoned Lake. It was a sort of nature therapy.

I thought I was making progress until the wedding day arrived. Not everyone remembered but some of my close friends and relatives did remember that the wedding was around the corner and there was no invite. Slowly I informed my close friends about it, they were equally shocked, none of them saw it coming.

My best friend had spent the most time with us, I asked him to tell me honestly if he ever felt that Ellie wanted to ride her ex or in general if she was harboring this kind of hatred for me. He said he thought she was perfect wife material. Now I don't know if we were fools or if she's a player and hit it so well.

It was after weeks that I was talking about the cheating again. I thought it would help the remaining bit of me to move on, but no, it made me more miserable. One more thing, we had booked our honeymoon to Alaska.

When I was canceling the other wedding stuff, I tried canceling this too, but it was non-refundable. The trip was uninsured so I left it that way. So I decided to go for it, however, I was worried about Ellie following me here because she too had the details of the trip itinerary.

You never know, she could also think of relaxing her mind through this trip. But I had deleted her inbox. Yay, the booking was done through my account, so there's no way for her to access it from her end.

So here I am, sitting in a cozy cabin amidst the Alaskan Scenic Beauty and writing about my miserable life. I hope it ends here and I leave all my worries and insecurities in this dense wood. Showing up at your workplace and leaving a note that sounds like it was penned by a serial killer, that's some next-level shamelessness.

When the wedding day rolled around and you had to spill the beans to. Your friends and family ouch, but it had to be done. Nothing like crossing your teas and dotting your eyes.

Let's hope the only thing you catch out there amidst the Alaskan beauty is a breath of fresh air and not Ellie lurking in the shadows with another psychotic note. Update three: Life is funny, guess who I bumped into? Yes, my ex, Ellie.

She did follow me here because she couldn't find me anywhere in the city. The encounter was spooky, at least in the first 30 seconds. I was lingering around the deserted landscape and from afar, I saw a woman approaching me.

I didn't think too much about it. As she came nearer, I realized it was Ellie. It was too funny and frustrating at the same time.

What could I do? I couldn't run away from her. The only sensible thing to do was to walk away, but she ran and stopped me.

I said I didn't want to talk. She kept yelling that she searched for me everywhere in town, left me a note at my office to pinch on my vulnerability, and took a flight to Alaska as a guesswork, only to have it confirmed at the hotel that I had checked in. The trip is going to end tomorrow and yesterday it clicked for her that I might be traveling alone on our honeymoon.

She called up the airlines in the hotel, gave my details, and checked if I canceled the trip. The plan was on, so she took a bet, booked the first flight to Alaska, took the details from the hotel about my plans for today, and came chasing me. She ranted about everything while following me for half a mile.

I turned back and said I don't care, you need to leave. She said she wouldn't until I heard her side of the story. I said I didn't need to know more.

After a while, I was drained, not only from marching away but from all the emotions flowing down my nerves. I stood and asked her to complete her side of the story. She goes, "How could you ghost me like this?

We were supposed to be married last week. You cannot do this to us. If there was something bothering you, we could have sat and discussed it.

Have I ever ignored your feelings? No, right? You cannot break up with me just for this trivial matter.

I'm turning 28 in 3 months. I need to get pregnant and have a baby before I turn 30. We cannot ruin our plan.

You know how much I love you. After everything you did to me, I came so far chasing you to mend things between us. " Her last two sentences tapped the wrong nerve.

I screamed, "Really? This is what you want to talk about? Gaslight the situation, portray me as the bad guy.

You're a narcissistic and self-centered woman. You don't care about anyone but yourself and your stupid life goals - getting married before 28, having a baby before 30. At what point are you going to talk about your cheating?

" She snapped at this, "That's not cheating. I've never met him after college. I've never cheated on you.

Not even to first base. " And with this came the Waterworks. However, that didn't stop me from screaming back at her, "Sexting your ex, talking about your sexual fantasy, touching yourself while thinking about him, and then telling him that you want to get drilled by him - all of it comes under cheating.

Moreover, you mocked me, you lied to him that I don't go back. You're a manipulative, the sober version of what I actually said to her. She seemed shocked.

She was like, 'You can't just make things up. I definitely didn't mean those things. You're blowing stuff out of proportion.

You know what I told him was a lie. ' She shamelessly winked at me and whispered, 'It was just for fun, you know. I was just trying to spice things up between us.

' I yelled, 'How? By mocking me. ' She tried to justify herself, but she could not.

She basically repeated the same stuff - that she didn't mean anything, it was all a lie, that she loved me, and blah, blah. I cut her off midway and said I was not interested in any explanation. I have lost all love, respect, and everything for her.

It was now that she realized she had seriously screwed up big time. She apologized and pleaded for another chance. Moreover, her request for another chance was on the basis that she never physically cheated on me and that she invested so many years in this relationship so that she could fulfill her life goals - married by 28, baby by 30.

And now I cannot spoil it. She's a psycho, I know. She tried to follow me to the resort but I shooed her away and threatened to report her as a trespasser if she tried to break into my cabin.

She slumped onto the ground, breaking down and howling like a wild witch. I didn't even turn back to check if she was okay. I headed back to the resort.

I have an early morning flight back home. I've packed my stuff, the staff will drop me off at the airport in the next 2 hours. I don't think I can sleep, but still, I feel relieved and fresh.

Maybe the confrontation and the encounter gave me a sense of closure, though I was not seeking it. I guess I can now go back to my home from the motel. I don't think she's ever going to come back.

Maybe I'll cancel the lease because the house is too big for a single person. I'll move to a smaller apartment. Maybe I'll continue to journal about my life.

It feels good to write down the emotions. Thanks for reading this, looking forward to staying in touch and contributing to. The community cheers!

Well, she definitely managed to spice things up but not in the way you would have hoped. And bumping into her in Alaska? What, seriously?

I feel like you need to enter the witness protection program. If she can find you in Alaska, she can find you anywhere. Good luck with that one, OP.

What are the lengths you've taken to get away from a stalker? Share your stories with us in the comments below and thank you for joining us today. Be sure to like and subscribe and hit the notification bell so you don't miss out on our next video.

Until next time.