This is the most epic birthday party ever. It's got a jet powered tire swing, a customuilt roller coaster, and an indoor sledding hill with actual snow. And I set all this up to surprise the world's most deserving kids.
Safety is for losers. Importantly, 3 months ago, none of this existed because that's when I reached out to a friend of mine who many consider to be the greatest engineer this world has ever known. Oh, hey Mark.
Phineas, I'm planning on throwing the world's greatest birthday party for this kid named Ethan. I can explain later. For now, I need to know if you've got any ideas.
Oh, that's a great question, Mark. One time, Ferb and I made the world's first rocket powered tire swing. You'll just need a tire, your standard Ilon parts.
Don't forget your high-powered rockets. Oh, and as you can see, as long as you don't remove this screw, you'll be fine. You do realize that breaks like seven laws of physics, right?
Well, we're working with cartoon physics, but I trust you can figure it out. In the meantime, I was thinking Ferm and I could take a crack at your world record-breaking elephant toothpaste experiment. I think we both have our work cut out for us.
I'll talk to you later. Now, I knew from personal experience if you can pull off a Phineas and Furb invention in real life, it makes for a really epic party with 15 tons of jello to spare. But the problem here was their rocket powered tire swing leaned very heavily on the creative boundaries of cartoon physics with estimated peak forces that would be 35 times what a human could endure.
So as a first pass I just slapped two rockets with 2500 Newton seconds total impulse to a single chain mounted to a tire swing and generously gave our 180lb crash test dummy Newton first dibs on the ride of his life. Initiator is on. This is to test my hypothesis why Phineas and Furb is an animated show.
3 2 1 and after the smoke cleared, we lost our pants. That was the most powerful depancing in history. The single chain is going to make it tough.
So, to keep us from immediately spinning out of control and potentially losing all our dignity in the process, we doubled the chains for more stability. Here we go. And this time, let it rip.
[Music] The exact same thing happened. No, he can't keep his clothes on. I think only one of them ignited and a high-speed camera replay revealed.
That's exactly what happened. So once we fixed the faulty ignition wire, we tried again. Go.
causing Newton, which I'll remind you weighs more than I do, to launch 10 feet into the air, completing the stylish dismount. That was definitely both that time. His shoes are on.
That's a W. And while the dual chain configuration did provide a lot more stability, the slow-mo revealed there was really no way to reliably keep the thrust vector aligned in the best direction to loop us around. This is too squirly.
We need to go to rigid chains. So, to fix that, we swapped the two chains with two solid rods. Igniter's hot.
3 2 1 go. As you can see here, the rocket forces were so high it ripped our entire halfton steel swing structure out from the stakes, anchoring it into the ground. He's gone.
He's gone. All right. Well, that's a successful rocket swing.
Now, we just got to figure out how to make it slightly more safe. So, we were off to a promising start. We just needed a little more inspiration.
Hey Mark, how's the build? It's got a little work left, but it's getting less lethal by the minute. I do feel though that the party needs a little something more.
I've got it. How about you build them a backyard roller coaster like the one we made at the beginning of summer. Steel tracks, carts with seat belts, and of course, be sure to add extra thermal shielding for when you reenter the atmosphere.
Aren't you a little young to be building things that require extra thermal shielding for when they reenter the atmosphere? Yes. Yes, I am.
Well, the luck. Oh, got to go. Herb just arrived with our star of the show.
No, Phineas, you don't need a Talk you later, Mark. That's going to get messy. Now, the good thing about roller coasters is unlike twotory tall rocket power tire swings, roller coasters actually exist.
So, I did what any self-respecting engineer would do as a first step and conducted some tedious research. Now, I knew that finding the perfect Goldilock zone for our birthday guest would be critical. not so extreme it sends him back to the hospital, but also not so boring it feels like watching a William Osman video.
So, armed with all the learnings from our tedious research, we set out to build the perfect indoor roller coaster for my buddy Ethan. By the way, this is Ethan. And what you should know about Ethan is he was recently diagnosed with a rare and severely debilitating neurological condition that left him bedridden, causing him to miss most of the school year.
In fact, his pain and nausea was so severe he couldn't even walk from one room to another. But the other thing you should know about Ethan is he's incredibly resilient. And after a full year, he'd recovered enough to make his way back to school.
And as luck would have it, he not only had a birthday party coming up, but he was also a massive Phineas and Furb fan, which was perfect cuz we had our first prototype of the world's greatest Phineas and Furb indoor roller coaster ready to test. Okay, ma'am. Here we go.
Let's go. Let's go. Oh, no.
I think we're going to have to check our calculations. Yep. So, I called up some of my buddies who are really good at this, and they introduced me to the efficiency of their calculations, while I introduced them to the efficiency of a 10-second build montage.
[Music] And while not yet perfect, we were certainly on the right track. Now, we just needed a few more of them. Good.
And things were coming along great. But if I was going to get approval from the world's most creative engineer, it would need a little something extra. So, I took a closer look at their original coaster, and while we definitely can't send Ethan to France, we definitely could send him through a snake drop, a mud bucket, and a full-on car wash.
Snakes on a train in 3 2 1. Snakes check. This build was elegant.
Our snakes pairing beautifully with a catapult calibrated mud bath. That's why you wear safety glasses. Why you smiling so much?
You ready? Clean me off. Followed by a cleansing soap scrub infused with eucalyptus oil at 40 m an hour.
That ought to do it. I'm going to need a bit of a rinse off. And finally, air drying with a gentle breeze.
Okay. Okay. Clean as a whistle.
Oh, good. So, now with both the roller coaster and the rocket swing pretty much ready to go, I opted for a check-in. Hey, Mark.
How's it going? I mean, it's getting there, but how do we really make this the best birthday party ever? How about Swinter?
It's like summer in winter. All you need is a snow cone maker and a bunch of jet powered fans. But be sure to keep your windows closed.
You really don't want to bring inside your house. Phineas, you pointedheaded genius. I think you're on to something.
All right. Oh, while I have you, Herb and I were wondering if your elephant preferred mint or bubblegum flavoring. Neither.
Don't you boys think you're taking this a little too literally? No. No, we don't.
All right. Well, see you. He hung up.
Snowing indoors. How hard could this be? Turns out a lot harder than the cartoon solution of snow cone makers and fans.
So, I invited out an old friend to help. Oh my god, this is crazy. This is Fletcher.
And if he looks familiar to you, that's because 5 years ago, I surprised him with a special birthday party of his own, where he triggered the first ever devil's toothpaste explosion and then broke the world record for the highest elephant toothpaste experiment. Now, at the time, Fletcher was dealing with a very rare form of brain cancer. And since so many of you have asked for an update over the years, here it is.
I'm 5 years free of any sign of disease, and I'm a senior in high school that's going to college. and you are almost as tall as me. I'm going to say I'm still taller.
So, I explained to him the engineering challenge of creating a non-carto indoor snowstorm, Fletcher was all in. All right, let's do it. Yeah, the problem is I don't know how.
I don't have Don't look at me. With that uninspiring kickoff, we decided just to try some items we had lying around Crunch Labs. went farther than I was expecting.
Our first thought was grading styrofoam, but it turns out that's not only dangerous. Ow, just graded my finger. But the static electricity buildup means it would rather stick to you than the ground.
Next up was using that water absorbing polymer you find in diapers. But it turns out it's not very good for making snowballs. It's way too slippery.
I'm good. And on top of that, the amount of diapers required would be half a metric butt ton, which all left us with only one option. Hold this.
Here we go. Dumping 80,000 lb of actual ice into a wood chip. I think it's going to work.
God. Once I came in to check things out. All right, Fletch.
What do you think? It didn't take long for Fletcher to let the power go to his head. Mark, you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine. But this is going to work great. Now that we had a solution in hand, I needed Fletcher's help on one last finishing touch.
Oh, it was Nathan. Just kidding. After which he abruptly told me he had to go.
See you later. What? Man, this is going to take a while.
A lot longer now with one person. We're making snow. Let's go.
And 4 hours and 40 tons of ice later. All that was left was to nail the surprise. Eight months of planning and work comes down to this moment.
There he is. Oh gosh, my heart is about to beat out of my chest. We had Ethan's parents tell him he was auditioning for a toy commercial so he wouldn't suspect anything when he laid eyes on a balloonladen indoor roller coaster resting on 2 feet of freshly packed snow.
That's cold. But I had to act fast because Ethan was catching on quick. Why is there a crunch lounge?
Hey, what's going on, pal? No. No.
No. I thought you might need a code. Wait, I'm so confused.
What is your favorite cartoon? Phineas and Fur probably. Have you seen the episode where they make the rocket powered swing?
Yeah. Have you seen the episode where they send the roller coaster to space? Yeah.
Have you seen the episode Ethan called Swinter where they turn inside into winter? Yeah. This is Phineas and Ferb in real life.
We're throwing you a birthday party today. What? You know what a banger party needs?
Even a birthday cake. It does need a cake. Let's work on a cake.
You know what it also needs though? I feel like we should have more people here. Do you have friends you'd want to invite?
Yeah. And that was the cue to send in. All of Ethan's best friends and also his loudest friends, including his little sister, which meant that he had an important decision to make.
Ethan, is it okay if they all hang out with us? Ethan, you better say yes. Five bucks.
I have 77 cents. Okay. Five bucks for everyone.
Yes. Generous. What do you guys say we start with the rocket switch?
But before we kick off the party, I realize you're probably looking for a good way to spend your 104 days of summer vacation. Well, look no further cuz it's here and it's called Camp Crunch Labs. Camp Crunch Leds is your key to fighting that summer brain drip with an 8week virtual space themed summer camp that hops to each of the planets in our solar system.
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But to coincide with Space Cam Crunch Lots weekly challenges and videos all summer long, we'll ship them to you every week. Let's go. So, if you want an 8week summer camp where you could travel the cosmos while learning to think like an engineer with an absolute 0% chance of bug bites and poison ivy, head to camcunchlabs.
com to reserve one of the limited spots. And I'll see you in camp. Back at the party, it was time to see if I'd actually accomplished turning three Phineas and Ferb cartoon marbles into real life.
Starting first with the rocket swing. You guys want to see a guy? What happened?
Now, you might notice we swapped the rockets out for a pair of 24vt electric turbines. This provided two advantages. First, we learned from testing that big rockets make a lot of smoke.
Hold your breath, which is not ideal for your lungs or your smoke alarm. And second, if you pulse the turbines at the exact natural frequency of the swing, [Applause] my lungs, which is exactly what you naturally do when you pump your legs on a swing, by the way. Well, then you can add more and more energy to the swing.
Oh, no. Until it has enough. Come on.
Come on. Come on. Come on.
To clear the bar. Come on. And even with our modifications, a thought suddenly occurred to me.
That seems really dangerous. My protest fell on deaf ears. Safety is for losers.
Seeing as he was such a tough guy all of a sudden, I decided to use Ethan to get a baseline. Here we go, Ethan. Here we go.
To see how high you could swing if you just had to rely on your boring old muscles. Wow. And the answer was pretty much horizontal.
Ethan, you're kind of going high. Hi, Schmai. Now it's my turn to see what would happen if you added 14,000 RPMs of propulsion.
Okay, are you guys ready? Of course, the number one rule when demoing a potentially disastrous engineering build at a kid's birthday is that you definitely want to do it before you I've never done this before. What do you mean you've never done this before?
This is my first time. Has it been tested? No.
Uh-oh. [Music] And the only feeling better than pulling off a build like this is how you feel when you finally get off a building. Oh my gosh, that looks so nauseating.
Ethan, you're next. Before we got to the big roller coaster finale, I decided we should take a little splinter break. Starting with some snow cones.
who ready for a snowball fight and some snowballs. However, unfortunately for them, certain habits are hard to kick. Head shot.
Who's next? That was And then suddenly, and very undeservedly, I might add, I was in over my head. Wait, why is everyone aiming at me?
Okay. Truth. Truth.
Who wants to go sledding? [Applause] [Music] Woo. Go, Henry.
High five. Ethan was really encouraging with his friends. Zoe.
That is when he wasn't attacking us. Hey, go Bam. So after we had our filled with snowballs and sledding, it was time to test out the final and most audacious Phineas and Furb in real life engineering build.
Now to up the stakes, Ethan reminded me what their coaster was actually like in the show. There was like snakes and like a car wash and a bunch of stuff. So if this is really Finn's fur, right, it'd be a triangle.
Oh yeah, if this was Phineas Fur, you'd be a triangle. Fair. Fair.
But I wasn't going to make Ethan ride solo, so I had no choice but to buckle up. I'm nervous. Ethan, are you nervous?
Three, one, two. Oh gosh. One, go.
[Applause] And while the snakes were fake, the mud was real. Woo! The final step, of course, was to rinse off in Science Bob's 20 mph car wash.
[Applause] We're pulling to a halt in front of a massive blow dryer so we could dry off. Nice and clean. E is, you won't have to shower tonight at least.
I doubt that, but um So, now that all three of our mentions were tested and Ethan approved, thank you. It was time to give Ethan a welldeserved 15-second party montage. [Music] [Applause] [Music] Ethan, I also have a confession.
I didn't pull this off on my own. I had a little help. What do you mean?
Hey, Phineas, look what we did. Whoa. You know, for not relying on cartoon physics.
That looks so fun. I'm happy it all worked out for you. Now for the elephant toothpaste experiment.
Whoa. Make sure Firm isn't too close. Whoops.
Wow. It looks like you got a lot of cleanup on your hand. You want us to help?
Actually, our cleanup usually takes care of itself. See? No mus.
Bye, Mark. Sorry, Ethan, but that trick will not work in real life. Am I cleaning up?
Grab a shovel and let's clean this up. Oh, my lap. Now that Ethan's been given the best birthday ever, why not join us for the best summer ever, Space Camp Crunch Labs, the 8week virtual space themed summer camp designed to help fight that summer brain drain.
So check out camprunch. com with your parents or reserve one of the limited spots and I'll see you at camp.
