what advice would you have for young men that are feeling a little lost in the modern world well you have to um you have to be comfortable with with who you are and with your masculinity so the word masculine has now got like this negative connotation around it which is terrible because you're young man it's not every young man some men don't feel this way but a lot of young men I remember myself you got this testosterone that's roaring through you you're competitive you're ambitious you have goals you have this energy and you want to
assert yourself but it's bad it's bad it's bad you're not supposed to be like that you know and so and the culture isn't about there's no virtue in masculinity okay there is such a thing as toxic masculinity in most definitely but there are virtues in in being masculine and have to be defined and we have to have icons and role models for that and so when I was growing up oh God I sound like I hated that when people said that when I was a kid so I know you're G to hate me but I'll
say that anyway I can't help it because it's true when I was growing up you know I watched like a lot of westerns you know it was the the the silent hero kind of thing the Gary Cooper thing but my idea of masculinity growing up was a man who was in control of himself who wasn't mean wasn't pushing people around who was decent who treated women well so treating women well is a masculine virtue is a good thing it comes from a position of strength you're not insecure about your masculinity you don't have to prove
that you're a man by demeaning women by pushing them around by calling them and Etc you don't have to take the Andrew Tate path in life you can respect women and respecting them is a sign of your strength it's sign of being secure in your masculinity you don't need to put other people down to make yourself feel better okay so we have to redefine these qualities but there are no icons like out out there you either have the Andrew Tates out of there you have these wimpy men who are just so afraid of being masculine
okay your aggression your assertiveness your testosterone is a good thing it's how things get done it's what energizes you what's puts you in the world it makes what's makes you ambitious it makes you assert yourself and and motivate yourself it has to be channeled it has to be disciplined but you have to see you know we were're talking about are people pleasing things and how you reframe it you have to see who you are and see The Virtue and it and see the power in that and it's a cultural problem because men are very confused
I didn't have that confusion when I was growing up um you know so now it's very difficult because you're being told that all these things that you feel naturally are negative they're only negative if you can control them so self-control is a very masculine quality you're able to control yourself you're able to control your passions you're able to not talk too much if you don't need to talk too much I'm not saying that women don't have that the opposite is wrong these are things that men naturally have because of their biology and I'm sorry I
do believe in these things um but they're good they're just how you use them that can be bad and so I just wish there were more positive role models out there I know I could be a real bastard I could be a real I'm very competitive when I play games I like to win and I can be a little bit mean about it okay I mean I'm a pleaser but I like winning I channeled it all of my aggression all of that testosterone I'm not saying I have more than anyone I just have normal amounts
I pour it into my books I pour that edge that aggression that like God damn you I don't really like you I don't like the world into the 48 Laws of Power and here's how these manipulative these how people manipulate these are how people can be bad and cruel and damn it I'm going to get out all my aggression by exposing it and showing it and being as real and direct I Channel it into something as opposed to hurting other people kind of thing so finding ways to channel your aggressive tendencies is a positive way
way of being a man you have to find whatever that is sports is a great example but there are other things as well it feels a lot like Alchemy in a way uh or actually it's even it's Alchemy is taking something which is bad or useless and turning it into something which is valuable this is taking uh something which is uncertain it could go either way you know this desire for Mastery for conquer for achievement uh and and using it to propel you forward and hopefully making the world a better place along there's no reason
that your desire to pursue and Conquer and and and become masterful in a has to leave the world worse it's not some weird zero some thing where in order for you to become better you need to take from the world I think it it's additive yeah yeah I mean um you know you have to you have to be smart and um you have to be in control of yourself and you have to be disciplined but let's just add discipline to one of the those other masculine virtues it just needs to be redefined we need people
out there men and even women who um feel comfortable with this saying these are the virtues this was these are the good sides of being of being a man and being masculine and so even mastering things and even being competitive is not bad you build a business that kicks ass that that that that does really well that that gives people certain things that they needed or they wanted so it's just a matter of how you channel that energy and how you control it and what the virtues are is self-control not feeling like you have to
put people down in order to raise yourself up feeling confident not having to boast a terrible ma um toxic masculine quality is boasting and saying look how much money I have look how much women I've slept look at all this other other thing you're just talking it's just a lot of hot air that's not strong that's actually weak some so many powerful qualities actually come from a position of great weakness and insecurity when I look at leaders who are always like boasting and talking about you know all the great things that they've done I see
a little insecure little weak child having to say these things right so it just depends on whether it comes from something solid and strong or it comes from massive Wells of insecurity I've been using my eight sleep mattress for years and I absolutely love it I used to find myself waking up in the middle of the night because I was too hot and this has been completely neutralized by the magic that is eight sleep it is time to upgrade your sleep game with eight sleep's newest generation pod the Pod 4 ultra it can cool down
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