BF Never Told Me His Business Partner Was His Ex Until I Found Their Romantic Photos, So I Told....

BF never told me his business partner was his ex until I found the romantic photos, so I told him we could get back together if he would cut contact with her completely. I started dating my boyfriend, Jeff, 10 months ago. This relationship has been amazing so far, and I definitely see a future with him.

There's just one problem: he has a weird relationship with his ex that's starting to make me really uncomfortable and suspicious. When we started dating, he often talked about his best friend, Jenna, who he also owns a business with. He made it pretty clear that she was an important person to him.

I knew they had spent vacations together, and he mentioned hanging out with her parents a few times too. A few weeks after I met him, I creeped through all his pictures on Facebook because who doesn't do that with someone they just started dating? I saw a bunch of very couple-like pictures of him and Jenna.

I also found her Instagram and looked through it; it's filled with pictures of Jeff. A bunch of them had the hashtags "relationship goals" and other similar things. So, in this way, I figured out that they had dated.

I kept waiting for him to tell me that himself, but he never did. About two months after we started dating, I straight-up asked him if he had dated her, and he admitted it. He said that they had met in school and had similar ideals and ambitions.

They dated for nine months and broke up a year and a half ago. I asked him why they'd broken up, and he said their relationship was awful and they worked much better as friends. They started their business after they broke up, and things have apparently been going well between them since then.

I started to get kind of suspicious about her, though, when time passed and I still hadn't met her. I met his friends and family pretty soon after we started dating, but I didn't meet Jenna. I went to numerous social events that I'd expect her to be at, but she was never there.

There were a number of occasions when our paths almost crossed, and I really thought I was going to meet her, but I never did. For example, I went to their office a few times to meet Jeff after work, and Jenna was already gone. Or sometimes I'd come to meet him, and he'd come outside to meet me so I wouldn't have to go inside.

Things started to get really weird about three months ago. Jeff and Jenna were having an open house night one evening. Jeff came over to my place after work, and we had a few hours to kill before it was time to go, so we went out for dinner and then walked to the office.

I was kind of expecting that I'd come in and help them set up, but when we were a block away, he started asking me if I had lots of work to do and saying there was a really nice coffee shop nearby. He actually walked me to the coffee shop and sat me down, then left to go get ready with Jenna. He told me to come to the office in an hour and a half.

About half an hour before I left for the office, I texted and said I hoped everything was going well and asked if there was anything I could do. He replied and said something had come up for Jenna, and she couldn't be there tonight. I was getting really suspicious at this point.

I went to the office half an hour later, and sure enough, Jenna wasn't there. People kept asking about her all night, and Jeff told them she'd had a family emergency. When we walked back to the car later that night, he told me what happened: while he and Jenna were getting ready, she had a panic attack and said she was scared to meet me.

She said she wouldn't be able to handle it and either had to leave or he had to tell me not to come. He told her to leave, so she did. Since then, a couple more weird things have happened, and I still haven't met Jenna.

Once, when I was hanging out with Jeff, we went to the office so he could grab something. When we were almost there, he looked at his phone and said Jenna's still there; let's just go for a walk. So we walked around the block for half an hour and then came back when she was gone.

After that happened, I told Jeff I felt really uncomfortable with the situation. I could respect that they were friends who had dated, but the way she was acting about me was very suspicious. He apologized and said he had actually been really mad at her but wasn't sure what to do.

He also told me a couple of other weird stories about things she'd done. He went to a party a few weeks ago (I didn't go), and his phone had died that night. When he got home and charged his phone, it was full of texts from Jenna saying she was outside in her car and asking if I was there or not.

She actually never even ended up going to the party simply because she didn't know if I was there or not. Now here's the kicker: Jeff and Jenna are currently on a two-week long camping trip. They've been planning this trip since before I met him, but considering the way she's behaved, I feel very uncomfortable about him being on this trip.

I just looked at her Instagram, and she's posted five new pictures of him. As awesome as Jeff is, I'm really fed up with this, and I'm seriously considering breaking things off when he gets back. I being unreasonable?

Comments where OP has replied, "Glitterland, you're not being unreasonable at all, and I can understand why you feel so upset about the whole situation. If I were you, I'd be asking Jeff a few questions: Does he know the root issue of why she doesn't want to meet you? Is she like this with anyone else?

Explain to him that the situation is upsetting you and that you aren't comfortable with him going on a two-week vacation with her. She is, after all, his ex-girlfriend, and the whole thing strikes me as a little strange. Maybe you could talk about meeting Jenna with Jeff present in a quieter, mutual place like a café or a restaurant.

If Jeff was my boyfriend, I'd be looking for answers. Best of luck to you, and please post an update. OOP, it's kind of reassuring to hear that other people don't think I'm being unreasonable.

I have actually asked him if he knows why she's being like this, and he says he's asked her the same thing and hasn't gotten a clear answer. He said he's asked her if she still has feelings for him, and she said no. They're actually already on their trip, so there's not much I can do about it at this point.

I think I'll try probing him a bit more when he gets back and see if he might know a bit more than he's telling me about her behavior. JRO, you're not only not being unreasonable, but you have put up with way more than most other people would have. I would have noed out of there when I found her Instagram and realized he didn't tell you that he had dated her—not to mention all the crazy, over-the-top nonsense she's pulled since—and he is going on a two-week-long trip with this girl.

Oh, God, so much nope! OOP, well, I'm glad that at least I'm not the only one who thinks it's weird. I kind of feel like I probably would have called it off already if he wasn't so great in other ways.

This is seriously the best relationship I've ever had, but the whole Jenna situation is really over the top. Why wasn't OOP on the camping trip, or why wasn't it canceled? I have to work, and I was never invited.

As far as why it wasn't canceled—good question. Update: I wrote my previous post over a year ago, and a lot has happened since then. I wanted to give everyone an update since the advice on this sub was really helpful at the time.

For a few months after I wrote my OP, nothing much happened. Jeff and I continued dating, and he continued being friends/SL partners with Jenna. I never met her, but everything else in our relationship seemed to be going so well that I decided I'd try to deal with it.

Things got really hard, however, when I had to take a work contract 12 hours away from home for 3 months. I hardly saw Jeff the whole time, and I looked at Jenna's Instagram almost every day to see if she'd posted more photos of them together. More often than not, she had.

Since I wasn't physically present, I felt like Jenna was his real girlfriend. I felt completely worthless and constantly stressed out knowing my boyfriend was spending all his time with another woman who I already had suspicions about while I was away for work. I decided to break up with Jeff.

I broke up with him as soon as I came back and I made it very clear that his relationship with Jenna was intolerable for me. I told him he was going to have a hard time dating anyone who wasn't her as long as she was still in his life. He kept saying he didn't understand why it was such a problem.

He told me he couldn't control her behavior, but he promised me he hadn't cheated on me. I explained to him that by allowing their friendship to continue, he was condoning her behavior. I told him I didn't really even care if he'd physically cheated or not since he'd already shown disrespect for me and our relationship.

I didn't speak to him for a few months, and I went on with my life. I took another contract out of town and even considered moving permanently to another city. One night, though, Jeff called me and apologized.

He said he had been thinking about our relationship a lot and realized he had been in the wrong. He said his relationship with Jenna was beginning to feel toxic to him, and he made arrangements to dissolve their business partnership. After that, I decided to meet up with him—not necessarily to give him another chance, but to discuss the situation further.

When we met up, he promised to stop talking to Jenna and unfollowed her on all social media. As of now, he has not spoken to her in 6 months, and we've gotten back together. We actually ran into her at a concert a few weeks ago, and they didn't even say hi to each other.

I feel much more respected and confident in my relationship now. Next story: Ex dumped me because I couldn't give her a luxury lifestyle, then married a rich guy who turned out to be abusive. She started calling me daily for help.

My friends think I'm an a**hole for blocking my ex who is married because she keeps calling and messaging me. I wanted to ask if what I'm doing is right or if I should keep in touch with her. I dated Lisa for 4 years, and we broke up 2 years ago.

Lisa told me she didn't see a future with me and wanted to call things off. There were many reasons, and I knew it was coming. Lisa came from a wealthy.

. . Family and I met in college.

Our relationship was great during the college years; however, after we graduated and got jobs, it became clear to her that I would never be able to provide the lifestyle she was used to. She hated the small apartment we rented because I wanted to pay off my student loan quickly, and she resented that I couldn't afford to take her on nice vacations. It sucked, but I couldn't blame her.

I loved Lisa deeply, but I also knew she deserved the life she wanted. After we broke up, we still had lingering feelings and stayed friends for a few months. We had mutual friends and would meet regularly.

I never hated Lisa; in fact, I cherished the memories of the four years we were together. But I was also acutely aware that we came from different worlds and that she shouldn't have to settle because of me. Still, it was hard to let go completely, and sometimes I wondered if I'd ever truly get over her.

We drifted apart after Lisa started dating a family friend. I met him a few times at parties. He knew Lisa and I had dated, and though he was polite, I started avoiding her and focused on work.

Eventually, I moved to another city and lost touch with Lisa. I heard from mutual friends that she got married six months ago. I wasn't invited to the wedding, but I was happy for her.

I also dated someone briefly last year, but right now my career is my main focus. That's what I need to believe. Three weeks ago, out of the blue, I got a call from an unknown number.

It was Lisa. She started with small talk, and we caught up on each other's lives. She told me about the new house she and her husband had just bought and how busy she'd been.

I told her about my work and my new life. It was nice, like catching up with an old friend. She gave me her new number, and the call lasted about 20 minutes.

Although I found it odd, I figured she might have thought about me and decided to reach out. The next day, she messaged me and sent a few photos of her new house. I complimented her on them.

Two days later, she called me again, saying she was driving and thought about chatting. We talked about my new city, my new friends, and even gossiped about our old mutual friends. Then, she started sending me photos from a recent party where they all met up.

Over the next two weeks, Lisa began calling me almost every day. I ignored most of her calls, but she always said she had free time and wanted to talk. She started sending me TikTok memes and messages initiating conversations all the time.

At first, I brushed it off, thinking she was just being friendly, but it felt wrong. Lisa is married, and I shouldn't be talking to her so frequently. The more she reached out, the more unsettled I became.

Was she unhappy in her marriage? Was she just lonely? Or was I reading too much into it?

Last Friday, I finally messaged her, saying that it felt inappropriate for us to talk so often, given that she's married now. She replied almost immediately, saying there's nothing wrong with us being good friends like before. I didn't want to continue, so I told her we needed to stop talking for a while because I needed to focus on work.

After that, I blocked her number. She called our mutual friend Jess, crying about how I was rude and blocked her. Jess told our other friends, and some of them called me, saying I was being unreasonable to treat Lisa that way and cut her off.

I don't understand how no one sees that it's wrong for Lisa to call her ex when she's happily married after more than a year of no contact. It doesn't make sense, but maybe I'm the one who's missing something. Am I being unreasonable with Lisa, or was it right for me to block her for both our sakes?

And if I'm right, why do I still feel so conflicted? **Update: October 10th, 2024** I had posted a month and a half ago regarding going no contact with my ex-girlfriend, Lisa, after she tried to rekindle our friendship. Lisa married her husband, Jason, six months ago, and I wanted to respect their marriage and blocked her after I felt we were crossing a line.

My friend was very critical of me because I was ignoring her, and most of you agreed that I did the right thing. Things have been really crazy since then, and many of you asked for an update. I wanted to respect Lisa's privacy, but as things settle down, I am again not sure if I'm doing the right thing and need advice on my situation.

Sorry for the long post, but too many things have happened, and I wanted to get this off my chest. After I blocked Lisa, she called my friend, Jess, and wanted to talk to me one last time. I initially declined but finally caved in and told her that it would be the last time we would talk.

Lisa called me on Saturday morning and told me that she wanted to talk to me because she needed help and does not know if she can trust anyone. She sounded awful, and I had to calm her down before she told me what was going on. Lisa told me that after we broke up, she met her husband, Jason, within a few months.

Jason asked her out for a date in front of her mom, and her mom insisted that she at least give Jason a chance. Jason was a charmer, and they quickly became official. Jason was everything I was not; he came from a wealthy family.

Had everything figured out, he took her on all the vacations I could never afford, and Lisa loved this life where she did not have to worry about things like loans. Money, when she was with me, they had a grand wedding, but Lisa told me that things quickly started going south. One night, she was hanging out with Jason's friends, and one of his college friends started flirting with her and touched her inappropriately.

Lisa was shocked and told Jason immediately. Jason was drunk and told Lisa to “lighten up” and enjoy the party and did not confront the friend. As months went by, Lisa found proof that Jason and his friends were doing drugs and that Jason had slept with most of his friends' wives.

It was a common thing in their friend group. She suspects it happened during the time they were dating and also a few times after they were married. She confronted Jason, but he just got mad at her and told her that she was being too uptight.

Things got messy, and Lisa told me that there were some instances of physical abuse, though she did not go into too many details. Lisa wanted to leave Jason and told her mom about it; however, her mom told her that it was too early in their marriage and instead, Lisa should work harder to make Jason happy so that he does not need to look at other women. Lisa never told any of our mutual friends about this because they all loved Jason, mostly because he paid for all the parties, restaurants, etc.

, and Lisa just felt very lonely and helpless. That is when she got a burner phone and started messaging me on it. She apologized to me for getting me involved in her mess but asked me if I could buy her a ticket to my city so that she could get far away from Jason and everyone and figure out what to do next.

She could not buy the tickets because Jason had access to all her cards and accounts, and she could not trust any of her friends back home because Jason might know about it. I was really angry with the whole situation and agreed to help her. I got the tickets immediately and did not email her any details; I only told her the confirmation numbers.

When she packed and reached the airport, she flew to my city and is staying in my guest room. As expected, hell broke loose as soon as she called her parents to tell them that she had left Jason and was with me. She told them and our friends why she did what she did; however, everyone just thought that we had an affair and she left Jason for me.

Jason was really angry and demanded her to come home; either they were done. His parents called her to plead with her to come back and talk about things calmly. Her dad refused to talk to her, while her mom flew to my city, and we all met, and she told her what happened.

Her mom was more worried about their reputation than about what Lisa went through in the last few months. It was just sickening. Lisa is looking for lawyers to file for a divorce and has refused to talk to Jason since she came here.

Jason has not made an attempt to visit her and initially sent her a lot of threatening messages. I feel he was advised not to send any more incriminating messages to her, and the messages from him suddenly stopped; now there is radio silence. Lisa has been living with me for the last month.

She has offered to pay me rent, but I have told her to just save up for any legal fees, as it seems her parents might cut her off. Many of our mutual friends still refuse to believe what Jason did, and some feel we are having an affair. Many of them have completely stopped talking to Lisa and me and even removed us from their socials.

Lisa looks like an empty shell of herself. She was the most kind, fun person when we were together. Even though she keeps a brave face, she just bursts into tears randomly.

I feel she has still not told me the whole story on what Jason did to her, but I'm just going to be a good friend and give her the space she needs. I honestly am not sure how to feel; everything happened so suddenly. I never had a time to react and think if what I am doing is right.

I don't know how I got into a situation where my married ex is now living with me. I cannot kick her out, and I want to be there to support her in such a horrible time. However, a part of me also does not know if what I am doing is right, as she is still a married woman, and I do not want to be labeled as a homewrecker or a cheater.

Any advice would be appreciated. Edit: Just wanted to add some context since many of you are asking about it in the comments. Lisa left her main phone home when she left since her husband can track her phone.

He was already paranoid that Lisa would leave him and was tracking all accounts and Lisa's whereabouts. She did not want to let anyone know she was at my place; however, I insisted that she at least call and tell her parents that she was safe; else they would have thought she disappeared and might have gone to the cops to file a missing person report. Jess did not help her because Lisa did not tell Jess or any of our friends about the abuse.

All Lisa told me was that she did not trust any of our friends right now. I am still not sure why. What happened there?

However, most of our friends have sided with Jason, and he is spreading a false narrative that Lisa married him for money and waited for six months exactly so that she is eligible for significant alimony based on their prenuptial agreement. Everyone suspects that Lisa and I planned this whole charade for Jason's money. Lisa left and came to me because she wanted to put as much physical distance between Jason and her before she told him that she was leaving him.

And of course, Lisa and I are not getting back together. I understand the vulnerable position she is in, and I just want to make sure she is safe. Finally, what are my future plans?

I am taking one day at a time. I luckily have a very well-paying job now and do not have to worry about financially supporting her for a short time. However, I do understand Lisa cannot live with me forever, and we need to figure out something as soon as things settle down.

Comments where OP has replied: Commenter one: "Wow, what a wild ride! Although it seems like you made the right decision in blocking her, at first I'm happy you were able to intervene and support her during her difficult time. It's terrible when people put their reputation before the welfare of others.

I'm sending Lisa my best wishes and hoping that everything turns out well for her in the end. " OP: "It is just crazy to see Lisa go through so much in the last few months and no one is standing in her corner. I also hope she finds strength, too.

" Commenter three: "Okay, she should not be living with you. You are not her savior. Maybe what she's telling you is true, and maybe it's exaggerated to gain your sympathy.

She needs to end her marital relationship and deal with her baggage from that before jumping back in with you. All of the reasons she threw you over for her husband still exist. She is still married, period.

She can go live with her parents. If he has money and she doesn't, it could be a long, messy divorce. Step back and let her deal with her crap.