Don't Ignore These Red Flags | Reading Reddit Stories

Welcome to smos reads Reddit stories I'm Shane and today's theme red flags and I'm joined by two people who are absolute red flags Courtney and Trevor I agree wow actually that Honesty green flagen flag the fact that red flag but we're honest about it that's good hi Shane hi hey Shane how's it going good morning Saturday morning it is it's a It's a morning this is our first video up today filming I don't know if you guys can ever tell The Vibes depending on if we're filming at 8:00 a.m. or 600 p.m. I feel like

you get a different flavor you do I still stand by the statement when I hear get your pancakes out I think you're talking about my flat ass get your pancakes out get your flat ass out it's Saturday morning that's how it sounds that's how it sounds to me get your pancakes out That's what I've always meant that's what it sounds like um all right so I have heard that these stories are going to have a lot of red flags green flags might be a little more rare but we have the FL there if we ever

so choose feel free to raise them whenever you want yeah throughout the stories whenever I want yeah shut up I don't have to wait to be called upon free rain to be called upon this is awesome I've been called upon to raise My raise your fly yags do you think you both are good at catching red flags at this point in your life yeah okay I think so I think it's a red flag of mine that I like sniff out red flags and I'm like red flag red flag everybody look red flag and I like

need to chill some people are human and not a red flag is always a and I'll be all I used to be I think I used to be a lot worse at it I think actually worst of all there was a time in my life when I would see red Flags and then choose to ignore them or choose to and I'm talking about in my personal life um and that's kind of what I'm regarding here is just like in your own personal relationships and stuff of just not recognizing it but I think we've all gone

through that and that you kind of have to you have to deal with a bunch of red flags to get to a place in your life where you're good at seeing them yeah yeah and I think it's good to always Like if you want to be one who notices red flags really well but also being able to notice the green flags too that's true I think I lean I I think I lean on the side of trying to see the best in people so I think I'm better at seeing green flags but definitely yeah I've

I've gotten better at seeing red flags good that is that that is a skill that isn't talked about is like the ability to to recognize green flags as well mhm huge and appreciate them yeah Yeah thanks everyone I'm a pretty good person hey way to go thanks yeah let's get into this first story here let's go yes sorry I'm really excited I'm really excited fling one this comes from am I the [ __ ] my boyfriend refuses to buy me female products pads and now I'm upset dude that [ __ ] gross way to go

dude oh my God okay let's go I'll make it short and sweet me 25-year-old woman and my boyfriend 28-year-old man have been dating for Over 3 years yesterday we had a conversation through text about him going to the supermarket to get pasta because we were having people over and I was going to cook mind you he gets out of work before me and the supermarket is 3 minutes away from home everything was fine until I got my period right after I was about to leave my job and go home I texted him to please grab

some pads for me and his answer was I'm not doing that then I said I'm going home they are on The personal hygiene aisle I need them his answer was so go get them and I replied aren't you going to the store he said yeah so I replied I'm telling you to please get it for me and his answer was I said I'm not doing that but you keep asking and I ended the conversation by saying okay thanks then he said that we shouldn't have people over tonight which made me more upset I ended up

getting them myself while having pain and a bunch of toilet paper wrapped Around my panties to not make a mess I always say it's not what you say it's how you say it if he feels uncomfortable he could have said I'm sorry but that makes me uncomfortable so I won't be able to and I could see it with a different perspective however he is 28 and I think it's a very immature thing to be embarrassed about and before you ask this was my second time asking him the first time he got it for me no

problem but we were living at his mom's House which she used to do everything for him so at this point I think she was the one who got it oh boy dude what do I need to oh yeah I'll raise the flag I can go red flags and red pads I don't understand I've never understood why guys are like embarrassed by the notion of buying pads uh because my my takeaway is if a if a guy at a supermarket is buying pads what people are going to think is oh you have a Girlfriend or or

a wife or something or a sister or a friend then you're so nice for doing that what do you think people I I just don't know what they think people are going to think right like what's what's the inference they're expecting caring more about what a cashier at a grocery store thinks than the well-being and and like comfort of your partner is kind of crazy yeah and you know that cashiers are saying seeing crazy [ __ ] all day they don't care they Truly don't care yeah yeah I think it's very nice that op was

like if he had just said he was uncomfortable like I would have accepted that I still would have been like you should still clock that red flag for later like I get um if it's a boyfriend's or guys or anyone's first time buying period products for somebody being like I've never done it before I'm nervous can you like I don't know if I can I'm nervous I'll get the wrong one or whatever um but it just Doesn't sound like that's where he's at and then the fact that he also was like actually we shouldn't have

people over because we're basically have a wild lion in the house now because she's on her period and she's mad at me like guy like me I go to the store and go into the you know tampon pad aisle even when my partner doesn't need them just Peru yeah I just study keep up on the TCH take a look at them yeah take a look there is no Tech all the time I just want to make Sure I know about them there's been some upgrades I saw at the supermarket oh the D.A cup model model

10 looks really Sleek yeah um that's just me though fun fact if you're ever nervous about buying something at the grocery store about people judging you you buy a birthday card with it or like it's like a prank or something like you like if you're nervous about buying a vibrator you're nervous about buying condoms or like like enas you buy birthday card with it If it makes you be like it's just a silly little gift you can buy enas at the store uh at the at the pharmacy yeah there's enemas there I don't know why

I kind of started watching Grace's Anatomy recently so I don't know why that just seemed like a serious like medical procedure yeah easier to buy an Ana than birth control wow I'm going to go get one go get one for fun yeah it's for fun the first time I bought condoms I remember being so embarrassed and so Nervous and just being like Oh my God this is this is crazy and I of course go to the cashier and I just have the condoms there I probably bought some other things just to like and just you

know other stuff but they of course like some sort of like not an error but something where they had to then ask for assistance from something so they literally were like they literally held up the box they're like hey what what's the deal with this thing like or Something like get can I get a ring up on this and just there just holding it up for the world to see is going to bed I had the probably the the funniest condom story I'll ever have over this most recent Christmas break I was home in Idaho

and at the gas gas station getting snacks uh so I got like a Twix Diet Coke and I was there with Raven uh and I was like okay let's like get some condoms and went up to the register and the person behind the register was like Are you Trevor from mythical kitchen and I was like it I was like yeah dog that's me I was like can I just yeah I'll take my Tropical Skittles and condoms in a bag sure yeah give me the bag oh my God yeah pretty brutal pretty brutal that's different for

sure our fans don't know that any of us have sex they don't testing babies that's going to be shocking for them oh boy um some comments on this if a dude cannot fathom the full extent of what happens in a Vagina without being an idiot about it he has no business entering one not the [ __ ] find a boyfriend who respects women that comment green flag yeah bada bing bada someone else said someone who's not adult enough to buy something as trivial as pads or tampons isn't adult enough to be in a relationship someone

else said your boyfriend sucks it doesn't happen often but now and then my wife needs me to pick up pads or tampons when I'm out Like any reasonable guy I do it yeah it's one of those things where you know Reddit often jumps to like get a new boy boyfriend break up with them but I I have a hard time believing that this is an isolated thing that this is probably a lot of his behavior is probably reflected in this and it is also something of like do you do you want to live with that

forever yeah a person who's not willing to do something for you as simple as this mhm yeah I I'm Sure that's going to be the case for bigger things bigger ass exactly and it's just like he's just not on your side yeah like what what when they if they eventually get married want to have kids like is she going to be in this pregnancy alone if she if that's the plan like it it's microcosms of things down the road for sure yeah today's episode of red stories is brought to you by Zach do have you

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show update update he died when Shane says update I think we're about to get a lot more info on this guy yeah that's exciting yeah have the have the red flags ready okay we had a conversation last night very long one and I said everything I needed to say including reading those text messages out loud to him and he was in any way defensive he Called himself an [ __ ] and recognized that what he said was really up here is a breakdown of his answers his Vapes and his Vape ran out so he did

warn me in the morning about nicotine withdrawal so he said he was dealing with that all day and it made him irritated oh my God your Vape hor Moes are up I'm so sorry sir yeah as someone who quit vaping uh and had nicotine withdrawal that is not that that's not an Excuse he said he said the supermarket he went to was a small Italian supermarket and they didn't have personal hygiene products he said his mother never talked to him about this stuff he had a past relationship but it was a short one and he

said that he was never asked to get this before he said I didn't know it was an emergency otherwise I would have gotten it for you with no hesitation he also admitted that it is not that he's embarrassed he just Feels social anxiety Then I explained that there's a self checkout he said the last time I asked him to get me pads he was at BJ's and even though it was his first time I sent him pictures of what I needed he felt anxious but since I said it was an emergency he got it anyways

girly poop okay man I I I I I think you know he called himself an [ __ ] he should have just been like okay I'm sorry next time I'll get him mhm that's where that can end yeah I'm just I'm not A fan of when it's like o you know how I get this way and I'm so sorry and I was just embarrassed and I would have done it anyway like it's just it's not helpful and like I just feel like it shouldn't have to take all of this you know and she shouldn't have

to say it's an emergency and like he literally said like it's so funny that he's like well my emotions were going to be out of whack today just so you know like let allowing himself the space to ask for That and then not allowing her to ask a favor and like it just it was just a lot of poor communication where like he could have said like oh the market I'm planning to go to won't have that there like and it's just it's just silly silly silly I think this is one of those situations where

he's 28 she needs to expect him to to be this way forever he's 28 he's 28 oh my God I missed that or I forgot that that's he's that's tough man and going I I've but I've Never been asked this before I but I I was never my mom never told me about this it's like okay buddy you own a phone Google things it's also I don't need to know about this stuff if you tell me to buy something I'll be like yeah I can go buy that it's not that scary to ask questions too

if you're like uh what kind or I I'm like just be honest it's your partner like if you guys have been together for was it three years like you can be like hey okay I'm Nervous I don't want to get the wrong ones what is this I'm anxious like about buying it like you can be honest it's not that scary I feel like all you need to do is just be like hey send me a picture of the specific brand send me a picture of the box and I'll get that box yeah get the Box

nobody cares there's more embarrassing things to be asked to buy like can you imagine if you're significant other as you like buy smos merch or something suck dude be like no I can't that's I'm just thinking about like one day he's going to be sick or have like diarrhea or something and she or whatever and he's going to be like can you go to the market and get me some stuff she she could be like ah I've never been asked to do this before you make there was an edit apparently in this where she admits

that there was one time where he had an emergency and she had to wipe his ass dude oh my God yeah my red Flag is raised here no if someone wipes your ass um you I I think you owe them to buy buy them like wiping ass people eat ass bro buy something that's going to be near her ass that's oh my I I think I think at that stage she needs to reflect on the give and take of this relationship because yeah she she is doing a lot for him hold on here it is

here's the the words I would like to add an anecdote two and a half years ago he had a horrible accident while skiing Fractured his right leg and dislocated his left shoulder so he couldn't move at all or shower and even pee or poop guess who helped him with all that me so she has that was that was 6 months in that she was doing all that for him and now after all of that he won't even go buy her pads I don't know man that's that's tough another another moment where he cares more about

a cashier viewing him buying period products than having someone his partner mom mommy Whoever does everything for him literally wiping his ass like no you don't have to worry about the cashier judging you the cashier is thinking about how much they wish they could have a chair yeah or just like tell me I'm wrong every cashier in America is like I just wish I could sit down some [ __ ] let cashiers sit and let injured men [ __ ] their pants their pants and wipe themselves it's it's so funny too cuz it's maybe this

is I don't think this is to say but it's one of those situations where male insecurity they do this thing where I'm like be a man and buy him like what the hell you you look like a baby because you can't do this and I also think it's like this is a ticket like a ticket to ride and look like a great person for five minutes yeah like people it's like because I I'm curious I'm sure The story isn't that old it's just like I thought this is like a meme at this point if you're

if you're willing to go to the grocery store and get your partner period products you look amazing you look like a lovely man bar is so low the bar is so low I really I'm very curious like i' love to sit down with a guy who says that and ask them specifically like you're embarrassed what do you think is going through people's minds what do you think they're Thinking I think it's one of those unfortunate things where it's just an idea that I think some guys don't fully think through they just go oh I'm embarrassed

and they don't they don't touch it they don't graze it they don't critical think it for an extra moment or two where it's like hey it's actually it's like when you're talking to a therapist hope hope a lot of people listening relate to this I'm talking to myap IST and I'm like I'm just scared This is going to happen and then the therapist goes well what happens when that happens and I go oh nothing that was stupid to be scared of it takes five seconds to think about it yeah I really unfortunately think it boils

down I I wouldn't be shocked if it like boils down to being like people are going to think I'm gay like that's that probably is that's literally like okay man G man notorious for buying tampon for buying products for women they love that it's So dumb okay our next story comes from best of Predator updates okay holy holy freaking crap here we go this a 30-year-old man my partner old uh this is a 30-year-old man my partner a 30-year-old man won't let me sleep and I don't know what to do my partner's torturing me psychologically

and I'm so stumped on what to do okay first off I'll say I have sleep issues I find it very difficult to get to sleep And stay asleep despite taking medic for it and when I finally do sleep I snore I've tried so many times to fix this nose strips adjusting positions spoken to many GPS about it nothing worked I can't control it my partner has taken to instead of rolling me over just losing his patience and kicking doors open yelling screaming hitting the bed to scare me awake this has started a few months ago

and was super infrequent but has now picked up and is happening Multiple times a week now I'm I'm now having an even harder time getting to sleep bedtime is giving me so much anxiety my body is on a hair trigger now I wake up at the slightest noise and never fully drift off anymore because I'm just expecting to be woken up in an extremely aggressive manner I feel like I'm at the end of my tether how do I get them to listen and just tell and just let me sleep I mean it's ridiculous to be

scared of going to sleep when your Partner is home isn't it I don't know what to do anymore I can't just up and leave him because he's totally dependent on me financially and I don't have anywhere I could stay we live paycheck to paycheck it's not like I can just sleep somewhere else and still support us he is so angry all the time now and I don't know how much longer I can be around him I just want to be left alone to sleep in peace oh my God oh my God she said she can't

break up with him Because he depends on wait sorry is op did I it's two it's 230 old man okay uh so he he's saying I can't um uh hold on I I don't know what to do I can't just up and leave him because he's totally dependent on me financially and I don't have anywhere I could stay we live paycheck to paycheck it's not like I can just sleep somewhere else and still support us so it sounds like they're in a already in like a kind of a high stress situation uh they're stressed Financially

and then not being able to sleep is extremely stressful how their partner is reacting though is super unfair not good they need to talk about I was like joking about the psychological torture but then I was like maybe I'm not joking that's insane yeah that's that's terrifying and like sleep can be you know I cherish sleep a lot so like I can understand when you really need sleep at a specific night or something and then like it's Not being taken from you it can feel really like you can feel grouchy and then when you're not

getting good sleep you're cranky and that's just not fun but I don't understand getting up slamming doors screaming and shouting and for that to just be like like I I don't understand how this is happening and then like are they talking about it or what what's happening like that sounds like a nightmare the red flag to me is that op Has is saying that they've tried everything that nose strips adjusting positions spoken to many GPS about it nothing's worked like they are trying it's not like they're I I would understand a little bit more of

the frustration if they're like oh yeah whatever I snore you got to deal with it but they're not doing that they're trying everything they can and it doesn't sound like the partner of of the information we have The partner wasn't trying anything on their end you know like I don't know what other Solutions there are but you got to find Solutions instead of this yeah you just got to talk like you just got to talk the like if if I was in the situation it'd be like hey clearly this is not healthy for either of

us yeah um I know the things are tough right now uh like it this just I mean it's weird because it doesn't really reflect on the dynamic of their relationship but it Kind of still does where it's like I'm just I would never be willing to slam doors and scream and bang things no with you like like listen like you snore but like like can't believe you the truth comes out red flat you are I will say is this okay to talk about yeah you're a very deep sleeper and there have been times where the

snoring is a hono Roar and I will like Sometimes all it takes is like a like a this or sometimes it's like this but then sometimes I'm like Shane Shan Shane Shan and I'm like and sometimes I I'll try other stuff eventually like like if I like a cold foot that way God diabolical like I just can't imagine getting to that point with someone that's crazy it's funny cuz I am a very I really struggle with Sleeping it's very hard for me to fall asleep and Raven huge snorer like insanely loud crazy snorer and if

she's snoring really loud it's almost like funny like it's almost so crazy that I like sit up in bed and I'm like I got to listen to this for a second cuz this is insane like that crazy of snoring like I want to get a snack it's unreal I I've cuz like I have family members who who are snorers so when I growing up and then also when I visit and I found for Me I can sleep through a lot of noise if it's if it's consistent yeah the problem is when people are snorers who

are like all over the place uh that's that's tough cuz you don't know what to expect I just don't love how quickly this sounds like this got to yelling slamming doors like this person sounds scared uh so this behavior that this other person is showing is is Extreme uh I I do think this is a major red flag to me this partner was like I I Think I will become the Nightmare and like they're not hor I don't like it um I I if I was friends of op I mean I'd need to know more

information but based on this alone I think this would be like hey this is this is abusive this is a problem separate yes that's what that's what it's teetering on oh yeah just standing over sitting over him in bed while he's sleeping going nightmare nightmare nightmare nightmare and I mean yeah cuz like yelling is just Never okay uh comments someone said you leave this is abuse plain and simple sleep deprivation is a torture tactic for sake that is true oh true I mean I don't think they're thinking about that I think they're just trying to

like stop the snoring in the rhythm of it but like you could like go go to the freezer get a ice cube get a ice cube or something I've never done that but I'm just thinking like there's other ways to like reset and like it just doesn't feel like They're they're talking about it like it feels like happens in the night as if like there was a werewolf that passed through and then the next day it's just like I think it's just one of those things though if I were to talk to op I'd be

like hey like this your partner is supposed to be someone who cares about you and you trust more than anything and you are on edge and scared of your partner so are you really even in a relationship right now especially While you're asleep like in the bedroom where you're at your most vulnerable like you should be able to rest and sleep peacefully and just his sleep paralysis Demon's Like Whoa man man like hey yeah your sleep paralysis are you okay dude oh my God I paralysis they're in the ceiling corner just like oh no um

I would say too like I feel I feel it's kind of devastating to hear someone say I can't break up with them because they depend on me Financially it's like that's probably like this person is kind of treating you in a certain way knowing that you won't leave them or like obviously that's I think I'm definitely assuming a lot of things but I think people need to like you're an adult like and they're an adult too like you you got to take care of yourself and they they got to figure it out too you know

um someone said have you been evaluated for sleep apnea that is often a cause of snoring and can be a Serious condition op said I am in the process of trying to get my GP to assess me for this as I do fit all the criteria we're doing the let's check off and rule out other options part before they'll do anything it's such a grueling process too like that's stressful the with the Sleep Apnea you have to spend the night in a hospital and they have to like monitor your sleep update who best of Reddit

updates update yeah the paralysis demon swooped in and saved me I've never Made an update to a post before so I'm not sure if I'm doing this right please let me know I posted well over a year ago now closer to two years at this point about my sleep snoring issues causing aggression from my partner and some people seemed really concerned for me in the comments so I felt the need to update just so people know I'm okay so to update not long after the post I sat down with him and explained how upsetting his

behavior was and he Changed it we aired our grievances did some reflecting and realized it was unsustainable so we implemented changes and it worked isn't it wild how communicating can fix problems a lot of people wanted me to dump him and leave but we have been together for years I wanted to give it another try to see if we can find a solution the first change was sticking strictly to separate sleeping areas and sleeping separately helped so much seriously we are so much Better rested in our own spaces and our sleep routines aren't being disrupted

by each other also fun sleepovers with no sleeping haha sleep deprivation was making both of us crazy stressed out and we were not handling it well him in particular I've reached out to my GP since and I'm currently still on a waiting list for a sleep study to confirm sleep apneia which is not ideal but at least there's movement there I love the NHS but don't love how long These weight lists take uh in my area he also started therapy soon after my post and we found out that he's autistic which we suspected before but

didn't know what to do about he got diagnosed and really dove into resources on the topic and we both learned so much about how to deal with it he's done so much work on recognizing and coping with being over stimulated yeah the loud snoring extra distressing for him with his sensory issues he didn't understand How to identify and redirecting his anger into healthier Outlets he's now trying to get me to get assessed too I'll say something like where the scissors the way this thread is hanging off my sleeve and touching my arm makes me want

to peel off my skin and he'll just hold up a book on autism and point at me like which is fun and now which is fun uh and and on our financial situation I mentioned in my post it flipped he found a job and then I lost Mine so we're no better off on that front but sleeping and as a couple we're doing so much better I want to thank so many commenters on my first post for helping me realize it was not healthy or okay for either of us we're still working on it but

we're in a much healthier happier place thank you okay all right green flag wow yeah that's like putting in work I had a feeling I was like I hope that they can find a way to sleep separately that's becoming a Lot more common nowadays in all in all like types of communities and and in Partnerships like having their own bedrooms having their own beds even just like having your own comforter if you share but just like doing little things like that um are super common and that's really great that like it sucks that it took

this stressful like experience to help people figure themselves out but now they both understand each other and elves a lot more so that's cool it's a Great great ending to that that's some green flag stuff that's awesome yeah feel good one I think I would I think if I were op and I saw my partner doing those things I I would appreciate that things are changing I think that those screams would echo through my brain for the rest of my life unfortunately I think yeah and and I'm I'm I'm assuming with all their conversations they've

really talked more about that and it's an ongoing process and this post was Made two years after so maybe there was a lot of of things that happened a lot of conversation and it it seems like they're very emotionally intelligent in the way that they were like oh I might have like something going on and getting diagnosed with autism like that really helpful to understand yourself and stuff so yeah yeah well great okaying Bing Bong our next story comes from relationship advice husband who third 5 bought me 31-year-old woman the same earrings I have worn

daily for the last 2 years that's so funny that's such a guy thing to do okay I'm not mad at it my husband and I are in our third year together got married legally last year our wedding is later in 20125 I have often pointed out to him that I love sweet gestures such as receiving meaningful gifts when the occasion arises versus a gift card or generic item I went out of my comfort Zone and asked him directly if he could buy me earrings for Valentine's Day this year he said yes and even asked for

some Brands he can look at I gave him some suggestions and let him pick for me he gave me the earrings today and it's the exact same pair I have been wearing for the last two years every single day I've worn them the day I first met him the day he proposed the day we got married on paper I couldn't hold back my honest feelings that I felt so invisible to him That my doubts of him not caring about the little things were just confirmed by this he got upset at me for getting upset at

him fellow ladies how would you have felt fellow ladies um hey I'm going to take a back seat on this one I feel like we'd need more information I I want to know what he was cuz I think so she's saying that he was unaware that those were her earrings I think is what did she say that I think that's what I'm inferring cuz she's saying I feel Invisible uh God damn that's my interpretation is that she's like you didn't even realize that these were the same earrings that's what I think she is thinking and

saying as opposed to oh you bought me another pair of these earrings cuz you know I love them so you want to just a yeah CU in my mind I'm like some earrings last forever but some like don't so if if you were to buy me like the same pair a newer pair of of like I be like oh this is sick this is great Because sometimes the class gets a little loose and things like that but dang I mean she I think she's been feeling this for a while and she's been trying to like

kind of like mend this over time by expressing what she wants and what she prefers and cuz she went to I feel invisible over a pair of earrings um and they're engaged right they're they're married they're legally married they just haven't had their wedding yet oh okay yeah and it seems like I mean She said like uh confirmed her fear so it seems like going and maybe this that cuz the the chances of him finding and buying the same exact pair she only wears one pair of earrings yeah the chances are pretty astronomical and I

want to say like it's possible when he was looking for earrings um he was like well she likes ones like this like I feel like I've seen her wear ones like this so maybe she'll like these and maybe he was Insecure or nervous to venture further out of the comfort zone and like have his taste kind of enter the equation you know cuz I can understand being nervous that you pick something ugly and so you're just like I'm going to stick to what I know I can see that being potential um I almost like I

I don't know obviously you know if there's more to the relationship or whatever but it's almost kind of endearing the idea of a guy who's like just not observant like Not that observant or not really like a jewelry guy like and then he goes and she asks him to buy her ear rings and he goes and he's like I think she'll really like these ones these seem like ones she'll really like and they're the ones that she wears every day for 2 years yeah it's very possible like yeah cuz something like earrings is specific and

like I have my particular taste and yeah some people just don't care about that stuff at all so I don't I don't Know I I feel like yeah it's just we need more in this case too she's talking about that she wears one pair of earrings it's not like she has a style it's not like she has a a variety she wears one pair of earrings every day and then he bought that exact pair um and I you know and then he did get upset at her for getting upset at him yeah there's a lot

going on here um some comments I don't buy men are like that and they don't notice things men Notice Plenty when they want to they can recite the stats for their favorite teams or their favorite players among other things I would have been disappointed too someone else said don't buy into the hole guys are just like that thing my partner hinted at having a note on his phone of all the things I excitedly talk about maybe getting and is actually excited about my upcoming birthday I would also be upset by such a letdown someone else

said that would Have hurt my feelings a lot I think you're justified in feeling upset it's also concerning that he got upset with you for getting upset with him you should be able to express your feelings without him turning it on you I think you expressed yourself well in this post maybe you could write him a letter about how it made you feel that gives you the opportunity to air out your feelings and hopefully it will feel less confrontational for him I can see that I Can I I hearing those comments I see where that

that comes from um I don't know if you guys have seen this on Tik Tok where there was this one boyfriend who had like a cheat sheet for his girlfriend and it was like her favorite color her favorite like her Taco Bell order like all these specific things that he just wants to keep on hand and it's like I'm sure he'll eventually actually like remember those are already does but it is sweet that like you know That's what that's what this partner you know in competition with that's what you know and so I get I

get that that the feeling she's having yeah putting in that little extra effort is like really important for like those smaller things and it just it makes you feel nice even like you know the reverse like if if my partner does something like that where like I mention a little thing or there's a little thing that I like and and she remembers that and surprises me with That like that's awesome that feels so good yeah to feel seen and she's saying she feels invisible and I it's one of those where where I wish I had

more information is that I'm like you feel invisible and I don't believe it's just from this singular event right exactly that's what tough is I'm like you feel invisible in a relationship is a big deal yeah and and it's she's like yeah this confirms my fears it's like what else is going on yeah um op left a Comment they said op here appreciate all the input we've moved past it and after acknowledging his blip he was able to exchange them for a different pair and he then also got me another set of earrings as an

added apology while this experience sucked in the moment as many pointed out marriage and commitment is more than unintended hurt feelings okay um and that's the end of that we don't have an update or anything um so I don't know um I I I Think if he's really sorry and he changes things yeah we've got a lot of those happening and getting her an extra pair I mean cuz here's the thing she I don't like to I'm not really a fan of when people ask me what I want I don't I'm not really a fan

of like I want this exact thing please get it for me like I will just get it for myself at that point I will get just as much joy getting it for myself so but so she went as far as to go please like will you Give me earrings for Valentine's Day like asking show like literally handing to him what she wanted going as far as sending links and websites of what what he wanted yeah and it's also like when you know we're playing a video game and we're stuck in a spot we go and

look it up go look at your partner's Instagram dude look at what she look at pictures of her look at the earrings she's wearing like you don't have to depend on memory or like if you're in The same room as her while you're online shopping like you use the cheat codes that you have that are your eyes right like yeah it's true and and it doesn't sound like it sounded so simple she wears one pair of earrings she yeah she sent him links for other ones so it's it's an interesting blip um and I do

think it's something that has been so normalized with men right where we go oh well men are just like that they don't notice whatever it's like no don't Accept that you don't have to accept that no especially when you like ask I think it's okay at least he did it but the again like the bar is so low it's incredibly I'm glad they like are they I'm always so curious when people say we moved past it it doesn't sound like that doesn't sound like it doesn't sound good we We Grew From it we're stronger from

it we we talked about it it's all good it's just we moved past it's interesting how even from small Reddit stories you can get this this Vibe of like do you actually like really like each other or is it you're tolerating each other it's like oh this is good enough like yeah it's fine yeah like constantly toting your own needs with yeah I just think it's like you this is not an inherent guy thing right it shouldn't be oh well guys are like that it's like no that this is an individual by individual thing it's

been normalized so we accept it but you you Don't have to make that normal for yourself yeah all right our next story comes from am I the [ __ ] am I the [ __ ] for refusing to remove a tattoo related to my ex for my current partner oo I've never read a story like this there's a 24-year- old man my girlfriend who's 29 and I have been together two years I only have one tattoo I got it when I was 19 and it was given to me by my ex-girlfriend the tattoo well it's

not directly about or For my ex she was the person to tattoo it on me it's a small minimal tattoo my ex and I never broke up she died unexpectedly in an accident I was 21 I haven't been in a serious relationship until this one I'm in now because I've taken time to overcome the loss and all the associated trauma to me my tattoo holds a lot of meaning it extends beyond the relationship I had with my ex I've tried to explain that to my girlfriend but her thinking is black and white if You're over

her just get it removed can't you do this for me don't you want to move on it means you're stuck in the past these are some of her arguments am I the [ __ ] for wanting to keep my tattoo oh my God that's a huge red flag yeah for one it's a minimal tattoo it I I mean regardless it's his body this is so different than what I thought it was going to be yeah same but but ultimately this is one of those situations where if you're if you're with someone they have A tattoo

or or anything that they have with their body and they go this is what I this is my choice I'm I'm doing this you kind of have to be like yeah all right or if if you have such a problem with it then you don't don't be with them like and you don't just control alt delete a tattoo it is a process it's painful it's expensive it takes time not everybody's Pete Davidson and can afford that [ __ ] you know like I going into the story I was like is this going to be Like

a heart with her name on it type thing like there there's a lot that I would maybe there's a lot that I would maybe understand and I and I think it being tied to trauma and grief changes it entirely cuz it's not just about the ex this is about a period of time in his life this is probably about a huge moment for him uh I and and you know yeah it was an ex but it was also like that's just someone who meant something to him lot of layers to that Relationship I think it's

insensitive to be like you're over her right it's like you mean grieving the loss of her like I can mourn or appreciate this as much as I need it's not infringing upon the relationship or on the partner like I feel really disappoint appointed by this girlfriend cuz like she's older than him and she's it just feels uncomfy like she like like it feels like she's in competition and is in uncomfortable with something that is there because of Someone who has passed away it's not like this ex is out there tattooed like I there was so

many other ways that I thought that story was going to go and this is like literally he's completely in the right and I don't like her I don't think she should be presenting him with tons of arguments and I don't like her arguments at all can't you do for me do you want don't you want to move on it means you're stuck in the past I mean this is Manipulation uh it's just really really insensitive and shitty all tattoos are stuck in the past they're literally like as someone and it's it's I at first I

was like oh it's his only tattoo and it's about his ex that is a little cringe but like there's no there's no reason for this to not be okay like yeah everybody has tattoos that they get from different eras and like I'm someone who believes that even if I don't agree with a tattoo anymore or like it like the Meaning of tattoos can change all the time and it's like it's just like trauma or stories in our life where it's like it made us who we are it's part of who we are and we like

get to keep on living and this isn't holding me back it's not defining me or or keeping me in a place that I'm not anymore right yeah um comments or the verdict not the [ __ ] uh comments not the [ __ ] demanding someone remove a tattoo in general is a pretty crazy demand if it's not Specifically a name or very obvious symbol of her there should be no reason for someone to even request it be removed or covered your current girlfriend seems very insecure op responded saying exactly it's not directly anything to do

with her it's just that she gave it to me even when I had it done by her it was a tattoo I was getting for myself and while it did take on the added meaning of being something that exists in a world where she no Longer does and will always be connected in that way it's not something to be competed with I wish I'd shared the deeper backstory about my tattoo with my current girlfriend earlier I think I took too long and establishing this side of my relationship with her having her earn my trust before

letting myself become vulnerable to a point where I could share traumatic memories with her all for her to say remove your tattoo uh shaking my head maybe I maybe I'm an Idiot and I don't know how to spot them but I genuinely saw no red flags this is our only real issue in our relationship but unfortunately it's a huge one this is a thing we see a lot in Partners in like relationships where someone is trying to set a boundary but it's a boundary that's on the other person like infringing on their existence on their

actions like you are being controlling you're not setting a boundary and like if this is saying do this for me yeah Like you say it's manipulative it's it's definitely going to continue to be an issue like in other ways this partner their version of setting boundaries and having things done for them is controlling I also think um you know I'm not I'm thankfully not very experienced with grief but grief is a huge deal in how people uh deal with grief is always very unique and different by the person and you need to be very very

respectful of how they have dealt with their grief And whatever they've done and whatever they're currently doing and he as he admits he's like it took me a long time to feel vulnerable to share this of course and the second he does her response is well just get rid of that yeah it's like damn that's I I'm frankly shocked he's still staying in this relationship like that's a huge thing just zero empathy it's like there she's only looking at the tattoo as how it relates to her like it's just completely Selfish she's only seeing the

tattoo as this is you know a past love of his and that threatens me rather than seeing like the emotional meaning that it has to him right it it kind of has a little bit of internalized misogyny in my mind of like you're competing it's the idea that another woman existed in his life it's like it's like how men will freak out and hearing like who you're not a virgin ew like it's a weird like idea you know what I mean um someone else Said she didn't even mind that tattoo until you told her your

ex did it yeah she's selfish in bad news Opie said so you're correct she did have some concerns even before I told her my story she worried how my tattoo would be perceived specifically by her parents because tattoos historically have bad Association in my culture but it's not a big tattoo it's very clean and not visible when wearing most clothes she knew about me in my past she knew Everything this tattoo is the least bad thing about me but to her it's the most intolerable someone else said I'd Reserve judgment on this op do you

talk about your former girlfriend a lot does your girlfriend feel like there's a ghost in the relationship op said I didn't Opie said I didn't talk about her at all until recently when I decided to open up and share the story about my tattoo and that's when the remove your tattoo stuff came out it's not a part of My past I bring up easily or want to visit or talk to people about Beyond what's necessary and sometimes I wonder if I should just keep it to myself and not tell anyone at all I thought my

current girlfriend was someone I could trust so I chose to be vulnerable maybe I should have laid it out earlier and given her an opportunity to walk away update okay thank you everyone for answering my Question I talked to my girlfriend and even though I've explained the past I tried to explain again one last time thinking maybe if we could communicate our feelings more clearly we would get past this misunderstanding I explained my tattoo as personally meaningful to me in a way that has nothing to do with my ex it doesn't mean I haven't moved

on or that I'm stuck in the past we talked for a long time and I did not break up with her because of how this conversation Went I genuinely believed we overcame it a few days passed and she drank too much while celebrating a work Milestone with her colleagues she called me that night to come to her place she was in a good mood that night I fell asleep first while I was asleep she stubbed a cigarette on my tattoo I broke up with her because I can't take her fixation with my tattoo anymore all

right yeah uh my holy okay what is this an a24 movie with All these Reddit stories we read every time they're like there's no issue besides this one thing and then like something happens where it's like I think there's issues besides this one thing God that is unbelievable God that's demonic I don't care if there's alcohol in the equation that no is a lot if you're T if when you drink that's your tendency then okay holy cra wow I God evil that's evil sorry that's evil And this flag is too small I think that's a

red flag that's actually not the a red flag anymore that's you you've made it to the thing that's the rle you've now made it to the ship that you're uh you've done a crime you that's a you're crime no that it's the unfortunate times when Reddit stories go past uh [ __ ] conversations and it's like oh they're they're a a criminal yeah just a cop showing up at the door the red flag like hey buddy Come cop show and they're like um I think you're the [ __ ] here oh my God that's horrible

that's awful um well uh hey at least they can say they're try they got out yeah I'm I'm I'm sad that they did give this person a shot and then they turned around and did that that's so scary they could press charges yeah fully pressed charges they evidence of it owie owie moving on from that nightmare comes from am I the [ __ ] am I the [ __ ] for Not giving my girlfriend my Social Security number so she can run a background check on me wait all right uh interesting title let's get into

this one I a 27-year-old man have been in a relationship with my girlfriend who's 31 for almost a year now this evening she sat me down and said she needs to have a serious conversation with me and she asked for my social security number I Said absolutely not why would you need that and she told me about her ex-boyfriend who was basically living a double life he had a bunch of criminal charges in his past that he' never told her about and eventually exposed her to some sketchy and dangerous behavior before she broke things off

after he cheated I said okay thank you for telling me that but what does that have to do with my social security number she said ever since then she's had her Friend that works for the federal government run background checks on people to make sure they're safe and because our relationship is progressing she needs to know I'm a safe partner for her so she wants my social security number to check my criminal history now for the record I don't even have a parking ticket I'm a nerd and a gym rat all I do is work

go to school play Dungeons and Dragons come home watch anime rinse and repeat so I don't care About a background check she won't find anything but I'm not giving out my social security number I don't feel comfortable enough providing that to her friend when I said that she got upset and said I don't understand what women go through and it's about safety and I admitted she's right I have no idea what women go through but that doesn't mean I'm giving my social security number out to a complete stranger she says he isn't a stranger he's

one of her best friends And married to a close friend of hers and I said honey that's great but I don't know him I don't trust him because I don't know him that's my information you're asking for you can trust him with your personal information if you want but no one I don't know is getting my social security number or critical details it's just not happening and she said that our relationship isn't going to be able to progress unless I give him my social security number because she Needs to know that she's safe and she's

a offended that I don't trust her taste and friends I got up and left at that point and told her I respect her concerns but her past trauma doesn't give her the right to try and Strongarm me into giving out sensitive information to someone I don't know just because he works for the federal government and has access to a database I used to work for the federal government so I can say from experience everyone working there isn't Some wonderful person I'm not Assuming he's a monster or anything but just working for the feds doesn't prove

anything to me she called me insensitive and hasn't spoken to me since personally I feel like she was gaslighting me into giving her what she wants but I'm not sure oh that's okay and it's like such an interesting specific situation and my mind went to so many places but it's like that's the equivalent of I need to go through your phone in order to trust You and like that's just not a foundation of real trust right and what if he was like well I had an ex-girlfriend who stole my social security number and my identity

so like what is like then we're at a like a standoff of and it's so common for the ex to become the responsibility of the new partner like in that way it sucks yeah yeah he's paying the price for what her ex did yeah yeah it's it's so tough because It's obvious that she went through something traumatic and she's very scared of something like that happening again but it's just like not the healthy way to approach it and it seems like he's being like pretty reasonable and understanding and like trying to communicate like his feelings

but yeah it's so tough I mean he's completely like in the right to be like no I don't want to give out my social security number yeah he sounds like a green flag Kind of guy like yeah I I I I agree with what you're saying that this is not a environment for a healthy relationship like this amount of distrust she she's clearly gone through a lot like it must have been horrible what she went through but like it's not common this is not going to solve it I also the unfortunate reality is like not

all monsters have a criminal uh history you know he might have a completely clean Record and is still capable of horrible things like I mean anyone who watches true crime documentaries knows like it's not always like oh the signs were clear it's like it no sometimes like oh he was the most loved person in the community you know it's like it that's not going to solve this problem if if you don't have like if you're not in a place where you can can trust someone without them giving you your social security number to do a

background check then you should Not be in a relationship and be going to therapy yeah I would rather them go through my phone than have a private investigator look my entire exist up because I'm like what the hell I don't even that's like really scary like because there's there's there's something to be said about when you're entering a relationship and say I'm like hey I've been cheated on before and so I would love extra communication like you can set boundaries because you've been Hurt in the past in that way that's that's reasonable but something as

like obviously people do shitty things all the time but something that deep and out like wild as like crimes and and needing to be investigated and stuff like that's you can't put that on every person you date you're like oh I tend to attract weird men you know men who like run drug Arenas or or whatever people do [ __ ] I think what I think is fair when people because she must have gone through so Much and I feel sorry for her but what I think is the healthy thing that happens is people go

through a lot in a relationship and then in their next relationships they're like hey I've learned where I draw my lines and I will not tolerate like any sign of this thing yeah and I'm like I understand that's fair that's great it's like hey if you do anything sketchy or anything that that makes me feel In Harm's Way this is over yeah or just being like hey like I Went through a lot in my last relationship so it might be a little bit harder for me to like open up and Trust like it might take

me a little bit longer to trust you and I think like communicating that is healthy but going in and being like Hey we're approaching a certain point so I need your social security number it's a long it's a lot of Step so people be like haha how do I know I can trust you and you are still working with your ex to commit crimes And want to steal my identity exactly um the verdict verdict is not the [ __ ] comments not the [ __ ] I just had a background check completed I've had them

every fiveish years for the last 20 because I volunteer with children some instate some federal I also have been screened by the government for a permit several times I have never had to provide a social security number sadly I think your girlfriend may be the criminal and you may be her long con Mark bro why did I feel that cuz I was like wait all you need is a name and a date of birth to like run a criminal record check uh someone else said her government friend is committing a felony not the [ __

] you want no part of this that's crazy I I was I was I I I was thinking I don't I'm not tooo aware of federal crimes um but uh I am like a federal employee is not allowed to be doing that on the side that's weird C lastly someone said not not the [ __ ] you don't even know if she's telling you the truth she could be stealing your social security number for all you know run run away clearly she isn't willing to address her trust issues she needs therapy assuming everyone is a

criminal and you need proof otherwise is incredibly toxic there is the element that she's actually the dangerous one here I felt that when I was like social security number you Don't need that to run a background check on anybody yeah I was going to say I don't know how that works but I feel like you could just look up someone's name and see if they have a criminal record yeah literally like you one are those like the white pages and you like search and pay like $30 or something yeah I mean there's there's a lot

of steps like she could talk to his friends talk to his family they've been dating for a year like I I feel like at this Stage she could be like hey I want to like sit down with like some of your friends and like also if he was a government employee yeah would he not have been background checked for that also he could have been like okay if we're going to do this then I want yours too and I'm going to take yours to of somebody that I know so that we can check each other

and both feel safe how about that yeah update it's a big one let's go just Crime crime please be CRI please be crime please be crime Crime After read flag sorry after reading the comments I've been getting over the last few days I decided to call her on New Year's Eve and give things one last chance because I'm the type of person that needs to know I did everything I could before I walked away from a relationship and some people said she has valid concerns she just went about them the wrong way which made sense

I told her I understand and Respect your need to ensure your safety but I'm not willing to potentially compromise my safety to make you feel safe by handing over my social security number to someone I don't know and don't trust and it's illegal for him to even use a federal database for personal reasons so that's out but what I will do is pay for a background check of your choosing so long as it's a legitimate service and give you the results I will not be providing my social security Number to anyone but my address date

of birth Etc are all fair game she refused and said that she has chosen a background check and that's having her friend do it because she knows that she can trust him so I said that if that's how you feel and you won't budge then the issue here is trust and I'm not willing to stay in a relationship with a woman that doesn't trust me because of some [ __ ] that doesn't have anything to do with me I'm not paying for another Man's sins and I'm not giving you my social security number because your

ex was a criminal she started crying and asking why I can't understand that it's not about me it's about her and I said you made it about me when you asked for my social security number she got pissed and started accusing me of lying about caring about her safety and saying if I really care then I have then I'd have no problem doing this because I don't understand how vulnerable women are in Society so I said I was willing to work with you up to a reasonable point but now you're just trying to manipulate me

and I don't feel safe being with you anymore because if this is how you react when you don't get your way about having my social security number what happens the next time we have a major disagreement or a serious situation come up are you going to keep crying to try and get your way or throw out another ultimatum to try and force Me into doing what you want she started saying that as a man I can't understand what it's like to go through life as a woman and have to be afraid that this is what

she has to do for her Safety and Security and I need to just respect that and give her what she needs for her Comfort I was like I tried to compromise you wouldn't accept that there's nothing more to say here and to be clear I wasn't exactly calm I have severe anxiety so this was a really really hard Conversation for me to have I was actively pacing around my house and sweating and forcing words out the entire time then she started crying and asking about New Year's because we were supposed to spend it with her

parents I said you should have thought about that before you tried to Strongarm me into getting your way this isn't day and everyone stood up and applauded moment that's just how things went I hung up and now we're over obviously I'm hurt But I'm realizing I dodged a bullet because there's no reason [ __ ] should have gotten this messy and before anyone tries to jump me in the comments again I offered to pay for the check but she refused because it wasn't the test she wanted I feel like I made a good faith effort

to resolve things I hate to ring in the New Year Without a kiss under the mistletoe but it is what it is I don't know if she really is that concerned if I'm some lunatic criminal or if she's Trying to scam me like a lot of you said either way it's over now wow wow that's wow I mean he did everything he's like look I'm not going to give my Social Security out but I'll literally pay for a background check from like a verified organization that does these things yeah and unfortunately there is no crime

yeah no crime we need a crime flag green flag red flag crime flag I you know I've I've watched documentaries obviously that's like taken with a great of Sal but like There are scammers who will use relationships and they will play the long game 6 months or longer to to get things like that I'm not saying that this is what she was doing necessarily but op you are a you are a catch and trust your gut good job protecting yourself and you literally went on to compromise you went okay I will do this for you

but in a way that's like kind of like Switzerland like for both of us that's huge and she She refused to compromise like that's that's breakup material yeah and it's it makes me think about how in relationships often times when people are cheating on someone they are then very suspicious of that person cheating on them M kind of kind of makes me think like she's so certain that he's going to be a criminal and be scamming her dangerous to her it's like is this projection are you scamming are you crime are you crime are you

crime are You crime married and I don't even know if I've seen your Social Security cuz I'm just like I don't need that I don't get that [ __ ] away from me I don't like I don't need that [ __ ] either way I think he he made the right call this was not going to work out this story aside I think it's such a funny bit to be like no babe please you have to give me your Social Security number so fun oh my God I need your social Poli it's really funny like

and I I understand where She's coming from like you don't understand what women go through I'm like bro millions of families get identity stolen every year Jim yeah not a joke it's so got not a joke Jim yeah so what are your guys Social Security shut up so like what I got a fun fact about my social security number but I'm not going to say it babe just give me your routing and account number it's it's just so I feel safe that You're not going to rob me look I'll give you a hint there's a

five in there somewhere whoa whoa what if it is five 69 2 69420 H if that that has to suck if you get an absolutely radical like social security number and you can't tell tell one time [ __ ] I want to tell you my get so sick dude please one time when I was uh in my like I think I was barely I think it just started my 20s and I was in a situation where the person needed My social security number and because I was so autopilot with online shopping I started saying my

credit card number I was like oh wait no oh yeah it was like the last four digits and I accidentally said my last four my credit card I was like wait wait wait no so funny I was like hope they don't think I have two identities because I had a different number I remember the first time someone asked me for my social security number and I was like wait I have to have this [ __ ] memorized I know I was like wait I actually have to know this I didn't I know that was awful

know yourself I remember I I know joke when I was like 18 and I had to start like knowing it I remember being like God I have to remember this number I'm like I should get it tattooed [Laughter] on how easy it would be to just like steal my identity all Right our final story last story our last story comes from am I overreacting boo Last Story what if we got 10 more more anyone Last Story red flag okay sorry Shane go ahead am I overreacting after I found out my boyfriend's online friend group I

became part of two years ago has been just him the whole time what my God I I guess I should have been less oblivious but since a little before We started dating in 2022 I was added to my boyfriend's just friend at the time threepers Instagram group chat with what he explained were some of his closest online friends the two other accounts seemed like real people because they had real followers and comments on their posts and drastically different Aesthetics looks to them we eventually made a Discord server for us that alone was convincing enough since

multiple times we'd all be Active at the same time we never voice chatted but I used to never voice chat either so I didn't think twice the group got closer and last month we got together and planned a research trip to Hawaii for August we live on the east coast of the us like we booked everything so imagine my surprise when I'm over at his house tonight and his computer is open and I just want to log into my Google docks when I accidentally stumble across follower bot sites he was Logged in and chatting with

me as one of the individuals I thought had become close with I just got this sinking feeling I didn't jump to the idea that they could be fake either I was like maybe he just has their login since they're all so close and is way too interested in their messages but then I noticed their only chats were the group chats and the server and the real kicker was the email address it was signed up under was his backup email with his full Name I quite literally snooped until he got out of the shower and caught

me which I'm not saying was right of me but I couldn't help myself during my snooping I gradually became devastatingly confident that he wasn't behind just one but both accounts I've never seen his face so red and he just absolutely panicked and started shouting at me to get out of his business I couldn't even form the right words to say to him in the end I just Walked out of his apartment sobbing it's very early in the morning I get that but this screenshot is what he has to say and I'm starting to feel crazy

am I overreacting about my Discovery here's a screenshot of the op and boyfriend's conversation she says I just want to know why when it finally came time for the Hawaii trip how are you going to explain that what were you thinking he says you know something I've noticed about you you can never just be calm and There always has to be an issue I know you were raised in a volatile environment and still have to relearn a lot about healthy relationship Dynamics but it's like you thrive on chaos only and we were going to see

Wicked tonight I guess they're that that goes she goes you can't be serious I deserve answers I honestly so creeped out basically half my life for the past two years has been a complete and total lie and you were behind all of it he goes oh he goes okay Don't be dramatic you know this isn't a big deal you're just giddy to harp on this and make a bigger issue you need to your shoe I need to throw your shoe what you need to block him and never talk to him again this is insane that's

such a funny bit to pull for like a day like one day of being like ex that was me in a group chat like that's so funny and he is a theater kid of course they're going to see Wicked he had a whole production can I can I say It's one of the okay uh one of the a flag that I I used to ignore that is such a big red flag is whenever um you communicate or even like an argument and your a partner or someone goes oh well we were going to do this

thing I guess our night's ruined like you ruined our you ruined our night because you communicated I'm like that that to me is such a like do not use you're punishing someone for this there's a term it's it's like reactive abuse I think it's Where someone does something horrible to you and then because you reacted to it they then punish you for doing it right but his his and we were going to see Wicked tonight there that goes I'm like you you had multiple fake identities corroborating your you as a person with me for a

year yeah and then he goes no you're the crazy one you don't understand healthy relationship Dynamics you thrive on chaos me myself and I have great conversations okay we've been the Three of us have been talking about you and we think you have a problem you're out of the group my friends don't like you that's sorry you're off the Hawaii trip what was he going to do in Hawaii was he going to like dip out at times and come back with a mustache and be like oh I keep missing him I bet I bet he

was probably be like oh they canceled they can't go but like truly that is some that is fraud huge Levels of fraud like in a very intimate way where imagine imagine getting in a relationship or he was their friends when they first started she's getting to know this guy guy based on who he is and you know when we're getting to know a guy or or somebody that we're dating it's how do they interact with their friends like this is so great I'm learning about them through what their friends say or think of him like

that's all fake I I I think we're also probably Missing a lot of information here CU she's just reacting this means that these friends probably had individual conversations with her this was always a means of probably manipulation for him to get information out of her to know everything about her that she maybe he feels he wouldn't she wouldn't share with him directly I I think unfortunately she's going to look back and find that this is so much worse than she thought it seems like just like Reading the story it's easy to be like oh my

God this is so funny and insane but it definitely is like it could be very dark very weird this to me is immediate immediate block and don't ever talk to this guy again 100% um comments yeah this is not okay I'm blown away that this is actually real because what how could someone do that to you your partner of all people and like was he ever planning on telling you or just letting it ride out that what does he Gain from this so many things running through my mind but the most disgusting factor is how

he responded to it and it honestly sounds so manipulative like he's deflecting instead of owning up to his actions I'm sorry that you're going through this someone else said I'm trying to think of all the problems he gas lit and is actively gaslighting you he catfished you he generally manipulated you and now he's going to spin it's not a big deal and if it Doesn't work he'll pivot to just a joke or I did it for you I would love to have a therapist weigh in on the Tendencies and what they could mean the guy

is unwell distance yourself and based on his access to bots change passwords on everything go to accounts and check logged in devices I'm not joking not overreacting someone else said I am I understanding this correctly you your boyfriend and these other friends were all planning a trip together to Hawaii Like what was the plan there how could he possibly have explained that away all right up upate oh my God tiny tiny little update okay just got this he still hasn't explained himself essentially at all I am going to take the advice of the majority of

the comments section and block on everything thank you so much for all of your kindness and support I have not slept at all as this is such a bizarre situation so I appreciate you All uh screenshot of op and boyfriend's conversation uh so he sent her a text uh at 6:21 a.m. saying do you want to get he sent text saying do you want to get our tickets off the AMC app or buy them at the theater um oh so oh so wicked is still on the table um what this is a are all of

them going to go person is unwell this is extrem you just have to remove yourself because in those situations in order to Protect yourself you have to assume it goes deeper than you think and I just I mean this guy scammed her to get a relationship 100% the fact that they like let's let's break this down they started as friends they were in this group chat and based on all this going well the connection going so well these friends probably saying great things about him oh that he has a crush on you all this stuff

very likely happened and so she thought she was entering this Very real organic relationship that was completely based off of a scam yeah I I can't imagine how she must feel that's so violating no it's it's scary um I I'm glad she's blocking him on everything I hope she just gets as far away from him as possible I do think she should change passwords I mean that's extreme behavior and don't know where else that can move on to um that's once again past the red flag yeah that's just that we're there yeah that's scam we're

at the Destination mhm um wow these were some wild ones that was crazy that was that was the second time that Courtney's grabbed my shoe I I know the second shoe grab has hit the redou crazy and they got to grab a shoe and you just got to watch out that's how crazy the story was you know it's a crazy one when Courtney grabs my shoe yeah that's insane like the title of like like I just see finger puppets and like this guy was oh my gosh I think what I Think what makes me sad

is how extreme these situations are and yet people still need to go on Reddit and get clarification from other people of like hey am I overreacting it's like you're not what like you you you needed to get a second opinion on that like that makes me feel sorry for so many people but I know there's so many people out there who tolerate so much she probably thought she had friends she could go talk to like I would this person is like It is like a venomous like I feel like you can smell the manipulativeness on

them where I'm sure she didn't she maybe had friends that he probably like just you know isolate happens a lot in those in those typ of relationship I really think I think so many of these conversations it was red flags but I think the theme today was like trust and I think if you're in a relationship and you don't trust your partner that's a huge problem that's like the number one Problem right cuz you cannot move forward when you don't trust your partner whether they've done something or not cuz the lady with the social security

number it's like hey that you can't function in a relationship with this but it's also why lying to me is like the biggest deal um if you're partner lies to you and the bigger that lie it's like how do you can you move on from that because without trust it's it's just so hard um thank you both for Being here thanks for having us thanks for having hey you guys are green flags you guys are really green flags guys are green flags like really Flags thank you wait can I can I say something actually really

sappy for a second can I get sappy on Reddit stories um no I just God now how many of these we done together no I was thinking about this when I was looking at the call sheet for today um and that you know I was going to be on Reddit stories with you guys and I feel like ever since I was just like a little guppy working as a little associate producer on mythical kitchen like both of you have always just been so nice to me and so encouraging of me and like I remember the

first time you guys invited me on a stream that was like the earliest version of the show you reading red stories on and it was just like it was so big to me like that was just so nice you to do and so sweet um so yeah I Just want to say thank you you guys have just been always so encouraging and nice to me in this whole journey of me I don't know becoming a you or whatever so Trevor TR you're so nice you're so nice hey you want to give me your Social Security

number hey dude give us that Social Security give me come on that's really that's really sweet you're really great Trevor and you deserve all the great things stop thank you anyway all right back to being funny I hate Shane By the way Shane you suck don't to tie my shoes St just starts bullying you IMM I don't know how to tie them so all right well thank you for watching and a reminder that last week we did our live show and you can still watch the VOD it's still available until March 23rd you can get

tickets at live. smash.com and go check it out it was a blast I'm certain we haven't done it yet as of recording this so I hope it was Good um but thank you for watching we'll see you next Saturday goodbye goodbye pancakes