my sister exposed our family's biggest secret to my fiance and revealed that our aunt was actually mom's ex-girlfriend who had been funding Our Lives all along I 28f never thought I'd be sharing something like this on Reddit but I'm completely lost and don't know what to do anymore this whole situation has turned my life upside down and I need some outside perspective to make sense of it all I grew up in a small town in Minnesota with what I thought was a pretty normal family my parents had me when they were really young mom was
19 and dad was 21 my sister Taylor came along 3 years later when they were a bit more settled we lived in a modest free bedroom house that Dad had inherited from his parents we weren't Rich by any means but we had everything we needed dad worked in construction specializing in commercial buildings and mom was an ele school teacher at the local public school our childhood was pretty typical Mom and Dad worked hard to give us a good life we went on camping trips in the summer had family game nights on Fridays and spent holidays
with our extended family dad taught us how to fish and Mom helped us with our homework Taylor and I shared a room until I was 12 when Dad converted the basement into a bedroom for me looking back those early years were really happy one person who was always present in our lives was our Aunt Molly mom's sister or at least that's who we thought she was Molly lived about an hour away in the city where she worked as a software developer she never married or had kids of her own but she was the cool aunt
who always remembered our birthdays bought us the best Christmas presents and took us on special special trips I especially loved going to her apartment in the city it was so different from our small town life and she always made me feel grown up and special everything changed when I was 16 dad was working on a six-story office building when he fell from the scaffolding the fall shattered three vertebrae in his back and crushed his right leg he spent 2 months in the hospital and another 4 months in Rehabilitation even after all that he was never
able to return to construction work the medical bills were astronomical even with insurance we owed over 200 $100,000 mom had to start working two jobs teaching during the day and waiting tables at night I got a job at the local grocery store working evenings and weekends to help out Taylor was 13 at the time too young to work legally but she stepped up in other ways she took over most of the household chores and helped take care of dad while Mom and I were working she gave up her after school activities to be home when
dad needed help and she learned to cook simple meals so mom wouldn't have to worry about dinner when she came home late that's when Aunt Molly really stepped in she started paying dad's medical bills directly saying she had savings she wasn't using and wanted to help she also insisted on continuing to pay for my piano lessons and swim team fees saying I shouldn't have to give up everything because of the accident when I got accepted to college 2 years later Molly paid my tuition in full I tried to refuse it felt like too much but
she insisted saying education was the best investment she could make she told me not to worry about paying her back that helping family was what gave her life meaning fast forward to to 3 years ago I met markk at a friend's wedding where he was the best man and I was a bridesmaid it was like something out of a movie we talked all night at the reception and he asked for my number before leaving we had our first date the following weekend and things just clicked he's a civil engineer smart and kind with a great
sense of humor he got along well with my family especially my dad who appreciated having another man around to talk to Mark proposed last Christmas during our family celebration he had asked both my parents for their blessing and even included Taylor in planning the proposal it was perfect she got down on one knee R after we finished opening presents with everyone there to share the moment Molly was there too crying happy tears and hugging me tight after I said yes we set the wedding date for next spring and everything was going smoothly with the planning
mom and Molly were helping me look at venues and dresses and Mark and I were excited about starting our life together but last month everything fell apart Taylor had been acting weird for weeks being short with Mark and making snippy comments during wedding planning meetings I tried talking to her about it thinking maybe she was just stressed about being Made of Honor but she would just brush me off then one evening when Mark came over to our parents house for dinner Taylor pulled him aside I didn't think much of it at first until I saw
Mark's face change he looked shocked then confused then angry he left abruptly barely saying goodbye and wouldn't answer my calls that night the next day Mark finally told me what Taylor had said Molly wasn't our aunt at all she was Mom's College girlfriend they had been together for 4 years before Mom met dad when they broke up Molly couldn't bear to leave mom's life completely so they came up with the story that she was mom's sister all those years of help and support weren't just family being family they were from someone who still had feelings
for my mom I couldn't believe it at first but when I confronted my parents the truth came pouring out mom admitted that she and Molly had been serious in college they had even talked about getting married someday but mom got scared about what that would mean for her life in our small conservative town when she met dad at a friend's party she saw a chance at a more conventional life she broke things off with Molly but Molly was so important to her that she couldn't imagine life without her in it dad knew everything from the
beginning he said he accepted Molly's presence in our lives because he saw how much she cared about Mom and his kids he figured having someone else love and support his family could only be a good thing but now he's furious with Taylor for revealing this secret saying she had no right to potentially ruin my engagement over ancient history Taylor is completely unrepentant she says she was sick of living with the LIE sick of watching Molly hover around our family like a ghost of Mom's past she thinks Mark deserved to know what kind of family he
was marrying into and she's angry that no one else seemed to care about the truth Mark is barely speaking to me he says it's not about Mom's past relationship he couldn't care less about that it's about the Decades of Lies the fact that our whole family history feels fake to him now he's questioning everything wondering what else we might be hiding he's even suggested postponing the wedding until he can process everything I'm torn between understanding why my parents kept this secret and feeling betrayed that they lied for so long I'm angry at Taylor for telling
Mark without talking to me first but I'm also wondering if she was right that he needed to know Molly hasn't spoken to anyone since this came out she's not answering calls or texts from any of us the whole family is falling apart and I don't know how to fix it was Taylor right to tell the truth should I have somehow known how do I convince Mark that I'm not hiding anything else when I didn't even know this secret myself I could really use some outside perspective here update one I want to thank everyone who commented
on my original post your support helped me feel less crazy about this whole situation unfortunately things have gotten much worse since I last posted and I need to get this off my chest last weekend Mark finally agreed to meet with me to talk things through we met at a coffee shop neutral territory he said I thought we were finally going to work things out but instead he dropped another bomb on me it turns out Taylor hadn't just told him about Molly being mom's ex she also revealed that Molly had been secretly paying for most of
our wedding I sat there completely stunned Mark explained that according to Taylor Molly had transferred nearly $45,000 to my parents to cover the venue catering flowers and my dream dress I couldn't believe it I had been so proud of finding ways to make our wedding beautiful on what I thought was our modest budget working extra hours at my job to contribute and the whole time it was just an another lie when I got home I confronted my mom she broke down immediately confirming everything she said Molly had approached her right after our engagement offering to
pay for the wedding mom knew I would never accept such a huge gift if I knew it came from Molly especially since I still felt guilty about her paying for my college so they decided to hide it from me Mom tried to justify it saying she just wanted me to have the wedding of my dreams without stress about money she kept going on about how Molly loved me like her own daughter and wanted to do this for me but all I could think about was how they were still lying to me still making decisions about
my life behind my back I was Furious I called Molly right there in front of mom but like always lately she didn't pick up I left a voicemail telling her I was going to pay back every cent she spent on the wedding mom started crying harder saying most of the vendors were already paid in full and the deposits were non-refundable when I told Mark I wanted to cancel the wedding and return Molly's money he got upset he said I was being dramatic and that we should just accept the gift and move forward he kept saying
things like it's just money it doesn't change anything about us but it wasn't just about the money it was about the fact that my entire life seemed built on lies and secrets then Taylor showed up at my apartment I was ready to scream at her for telling Mark about the wedding money but before I could say anything she started crying she admitted that she told Mark because she was jealous and bitter she started talking about all the times mly had shown favoritism toward me over the years according to Taylor Molly had always treated us differently
she took me on special trips to the city bought me expensive birthday gifts and always seemed more interested in my life and achievements when I got my first car at 16 Molly helped with the down payment when Taylor got her first car 2 years later she had to work all summer to afford it herself Taylor said she used to cry herself to sleep wondering why our Aunt loved me more than her now she knows it was because I look just like Mom did at my age Molly even kept a photo of mom from College on
her desk at work and the resemblance between us is striking Taylor said every time Molly looked at me she was seeing the woman she never got over I felt sick hearing all this I started thinking back over the years remembering all the special treatment I got from Molly that I had never questioned the extra Christmas presents the shopping trips the way she always sat next to me at family dinners how had I never noticed how differently she treated Taylor mom tried defending Molly when I brought this up saying Molly never meant to play favorites but
then Taylor said something that made everyone go quiet she suggested that maybe M was still in love with Mom after all these years and that's why she kept inserting herself into our lives with money and gifts that comment led to the biggest fight I've ever seen between my parents dad started yelling about how he always knew Molly had ulterior motives how he was tired of her trying to buy our love Mom screamed back that he was being unfair that Molly had saved our family after his accident and never asked for anything in return dad grabbed
his keys and stormed out that was 5 days ago and no one has heard from him since mom's been a mess alternating between crying and trying to call Dad Molly still won't answer anyone's calls or texts Taylor is staying with friends saying she can't be in the house right now and Mark Mark keeps texting me about wedding plans like nothing is wrong like my entire family isn't imploding I don't know what to do anymore how can I go through with this wedding knowing it's being paid for by my mom's ex-girlfriend who might still be in
love with her how do I fix the rift between my sister and me how do I help my parents when I can barely keep myself together dad won't answer his phone mom won't stop crying Taylor won't come home and Molly won't acknowledge any of us exist I feel like I'm watching my entire family fall apart and there's nothing I can do to stop it some of you suggested family therapy in the comments of my last post but I honestly don't think we can even get everyone in the same room right now update to I wasn't
sure if I should post another update but after what happened this week I need to get it all out just when I thought our family couldn't have any more secrets everything exploded again Dad finally came home after being gone for almost 2 weeks mom was so relieved to see him that she didn't even yell at him for disappearing we all gathered in the living room me Mom Taylor and Dad the tension was thick enough to cut with a knife then dad started talking and what he revealed changed everything we thought we knew about our family's
past he admitted that his accident at work 12 years ago wasn't really an accident at all he had been drinking that day not just a little but enough to seriously impair his judgment he'd actually been drinking on the job for month months before the fall according to Dad he had started drinking because he couldn't handle mom and Molly's relationship even though mom had chosen him even though they were married with two kids he felt like he was competing with Molly's ghost every family dinner every holiday every time Molly showed up with expensive gifts or offers
to help it ate away at him the day of the accident he'd been drinking since morning he was up on the scaffolding six stories high when he lost his balance the fall that shattered his back and destroyed his leg wasn't just bad or a workplace accident it was the result of his own choices but here's the part that made me physically sick Molly knew she found out while dad was in the hospital because she overheard him talking to Mom when he was high on pain medication instead of exposing him she stepped in and started paying
the medical bills she knew that if the truth came out about him being drunk at work he would lose his workers compensation and probably face criminal charges the construction company would have sued him and our family would have been ruined Taylor completely lost it when she heard this all those months she spent taking care of dad skipping school activities to be home with him learning to give him his medications and help him with physical therapy it was all because of his drinking she started screaming at him calling him selfish and saying he ruined her teenage
years then she grabbed her purse and ran out of the house Mom just sat there completely silent when Dad finished talking she quietly asked him if he was still drinking he couldn't look her in the eye that's when Mom got up and walked out too saying she needed time to think I didn't know what to feel on one hand I was angry at dad for being so reckless for letting his jealousy of Molly drive him to do something so stupid on the other hand I felt guilty for never noticing how much he was struggling with
Molly's presence in our lives the next day Mark came over I thought maybe he was there to support me through all this but instead he handed me back my engagement ring he said he'd been thinking a lot over the past month and he couldn't see a future with someone whose family had so many secrets and lies he said he was worried that keeping secrets was in my DNA that someday I might hide things from him too I tried to explain that I was just as shocked by all these Revelations as he was that I never
knew about any of it but he wouldn't listen he said he needed someone whose life was more stable whose family was less complicated then he left and I haven't heard from him since Taylor is still not speaking to Dad she moved in with her friend and blocked dad's number mom came back home but is sleeping in the guest room she told me she can't look at dad the same way anymore not just because of the drinking but because he let her blame herself for his accident all these years she always thought it was because she
asked him to work overtime so they could afford a family vacation that year Molly finally sent me a text all it said was I'm sorry for everything I don't even know how to respond to that sorry for lying about being our Aunt sorry for paying our medical bills sorry for still being in love with my Mom sorry for turning our family into this mess there are too many things she could be sorry for and I'm not sure I want to hear about any of them the wedding is is officially cancelled I lost the deposit on
my dress but honestly I don't even care anymore every time I look at it hanging in my closet all I can think about is how Molly paid for it how every part of my life seems tainted by lies Now update three I want to share what's probably going to be my final update on this situation A lot has changed in the past few months and I think I'm finally starting to see things clearly after everything that happened I knew I needed to get away from all the drama when my company offered me a transfer to
their Seattle office I took it without hesitation some might call it running away but I call it self-preservation I packed up my apartment said goodbye to the few friends who stuck by me through all this and moved across the country the distance has given me perspective I couldn't get when I was in the middle of everything my new apartment is small but it's mine and more importantly it's drama-free I've been going to a local gym joined a book club and even started taking pottery classes for the first time in months I can breathe without feeling
like there's a weight on my chest last week Molly reached out to me she sent a long email explaining everything from her perspective she wrote about how she and Mom met in college how they fell in love and how terrified they both were of being out in the early '90s when Mom chose dad in a normal life Molly said she was heartbroken but couldn't imagine not being part of mom's life in some way she admitted that she probably crossed boundaries over the years especially with the money she said she never meant to show favoritism between
Taylor and me but she could see now how her actions affected both of us the wedding money she explained was her way of trying to make up for all the lies but she realized too late that it only made things worse I replied to her email telling her that while I appreciate her honesty now I need time to process everything she respected that and said she would be there when and if I was ready to talk more as for my family things are still complicated mom and dad are still living together but it's more like
their roommates than husband and wife Dad finally admitted he has a drinking problem and started going to AA meetings mom says she's proud of him for getting help but she's not sure if their marriage can recover from all the lies Taylor moved out of her friend's place and got her own apartment in the city she's still angry at dad but she started talking to Mom again she even called me last week to apologize for how she handled everything with Mark she said she was so focused on exposing the family secrets that she didn't think about
how it would affect my life speaking of Mark I heard through mutual friends that he's dating someone knew it stung at first but honestly I'm relieved he was right about one thing our family is complicated but that doesn't mean we're wrong or bad just human I decided to return Molly's wedding money it took most of my savings and I had to sell my car but I managed to pay back every cent mom thought I was being stubborn but I needed to do this for myself I couldn't start fresh if I was still tied to the
Past by Financial Obligations some family members think I'm being too harsh by moving away and keeping my distance they keep saying things like but we're family and blood is thicker than water but I've learned that sometimes the healthiest thing you can do for yourself is to step back even from family I don't know what the future holds maybe someday we'll all sit down together and really talk about everything that happened maybe we'll find a way to be a family again with all our complicated history out in the open but for now I'm focusing on building
my own life one that isn't defined by Secrets or lies to everyone who commented on my previous posts and shared their own stories thank you you help me realize that it's okay to choose yourself sometimes even if other people don't understand