You are spending your days right now giving so much of yourself to everyone else to your work to your family to the responsibilities that you have to the constant stream of emails that are coming in the texts the demands of life that are pulling you in every single direction that by the time the day is done I know how you feel cuz I feel the same way you are wiped out the tank of gas in your brain it is on empty and Today you and I are going to do something about it you get to
choose whether or not you're going to succumb to the pressures and the programming of the modern world or if you're going to take your evenings and your sanity back I'm going to teach you the simple five-step evening routine that never fails me it's time for you and me to reclaim our evenings hey it's your friend Mel welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast I am So so excited that you're here first of all it's always such an honor to spend time with you to be together and I wanted to take a moment and acknowledge that if
you're a new listener welcome to the Mel Robins podcast family I am so glad that you are here and because you made the time to hit play and listen to this particular episode I know that you're the type of person who values your time you want to make the most of your evenings you know you need to get a Good night's sleep you deserve to and you're looking for simple ways to make that a reality and boy oh boy have you picked a winner and I also want you to know something that you are spending
your days right now giving so much of yourself to everyone else to your work to your family to the responsibilities that you have to the constant stream of emails that are coming in the texts the demands of life that are pulling you in every single direction that by the time The day is done I know how you feel CU I feel the same way you are wiped out the tank of gas in your brain it is on empty and today you and I are going to do something about it so I want to applaud the
fact that you're making time to listen to something that's going to help your life be a little bit better and I want to also point out something kind of cool if somebody forwarded this to you and told you you should listen to this episode you want to know what's cool About that it means that you have somebody in your life that's looking out for you that cares about you that wants you to feel better just think that's so cool and so thank you again for being here thank you for taking time to listen to this
and I'm really excited to share everything with you because I know it's going to resonate because I'm struggling with this issue too which is it's time for you and me to reclaim our evenings and I'm going to teach you this simple Five-step evening routine that never fails me whenever I feel exhausted overwhelmed and weary this is what I return to these five steps these are the basics this is the foundation for creating an evening routine that really takes care of you it sets you up to have a great day in the morning and most importantly
what I love about this particular five-step evening routine is first of all it's so simple second this has nothing to do with productivity you Know I I don't know about you but I don't feel right now like oo let's attack the goals like I feel like life is so overwhelming and the headlines are so depressing and everybody's got so much going on and there's so much information coming at us that by the time I get home and my God I have unpacked my backpack and I have put away the groceries and I've cooked dinner I'm
exhausted like I feel like I've given everything that I had to give to Everyone else and now I've made it to the end of the day it's seven or eight o'clock I can't believe I'm still standing and now I don't want to do anything but here's the problem the things that you do in the evening actually set you up to have a great day tomorrow or to wake up feeling even more exhausted more overwhelmed and more weary and here's why I wanted to talk about this right now first of all I'm struggling with this I've
noticed this Pattern in me where I'm scrolling on my phone at night and I know better and so do you I'm sitting there flipping through the channels and next thing you know two hours goes by and haven't even watched a show and you've experienced this too why is this happening right now why is it that we live in this moment of time where you know you need to get a good night's sleep you know that you don't want to waste your entire evening scrolling on your phone you know that You don't want to stay up
past midnight or past 11:00 p.m. and then screw yourself over because you don't actually get in bed in time to get a good night's sleep so if we know that what's good for us is winding down and taking care of ourselves and getting into bed at a reasonable hour why are we doing it well there's a really interesting explanation for why so many of us are getting less sleep and we're wasting our evenings doing nothing and it has to do with Something called decision fatigue see you and I are making decisions all day long in
fact I have this really interesting article that I found as I was researching our conversation today it was an article that was published by the American Medical Association and in it you can hear me flipping through the pages the reporter is interviewing Dr Lisa McAn who is a psychiatrist and the chief Wellness officer at Henry Ford Health System in Michigan now this is an Entire article about something called decision fatigue and the reason why I want to unpack this is because I want to give you some credit do you know how much you're doing all
day I don't even think you understand how you're showing up for everybody else how you're doing a great job at work how you're answering the emails how you're returning the text how you're making decisions all day long and decision fatigue according to Dr mlan and all of this research that she's Citing is a very real thing it's the idea quote that after making many decisions your ability to make more and more decisions over the course of the day becomes worse the more decisions you have to make the more fatigue you develop and the more difficult
it can become and she goes on to write because I don't think you've stopped to consider just how many decisions you make every single day well the researchers have figured it out here's What Dr mlan has to say by the time the average person goes to bed that's you and me you've made over 35,000 decisions I mean just even trying to embrace that number is exhausting 35,000 decisions and if you're sitting there going no I don't like I 35,000 decisions in a day well just stop and think about it everything from what do you wear
to when are you leaving for work to picking up your toothbrush to whether or not you Make the left turn or the right turn or you hit the brakes or you read the book or you don't you answer the text you like all day long you are making decisions which means all day long if you think about uh a human being I think about it this way I think about you and I having a gas tank right and so you wake up in the morning and this is so Elementary but this is how I try
to process this for myself when you wake up in the morning you've got a full tank of Gas and all day long every single decision that you're making all the effort that you're exerting all the caretaking all the consideration all the talking all the thinking every time you make a little decision or you put in a little effort guess what you're just slowly draining that tank of energy and what's the result well by the time you get home and you've taken care of everybody else you're exhausted the fuel tank is near empty And if you're
anything like me what do you want to do nothing you want to do nothing because you have been doing something all day long you've been doing something for your boss you've doing something for your professors if you're in school you've been doing something for your parents for your kids for your significant other you've been doing things for your friends by texting back you've taken care of work you've taken care of bills you've taken care of Feeding the dogs or feeding the cat like it is going on and on and aren't you just exhausted thinking about
this of course you are so am I and this is why I wanted to explain this because if this is what you're doing all day long you're literally reading the news and then you're reading emails and then you're talking in a meeting and then you're driving from here to there and then you're thinking about your friends and you're exerting all this effort no Wonder that by the end of the night all you want to do is nothing see Dr mlan says in this article that quote a person with decision fatigue which you and I have
haven't you ever like at seven or 8 o'clock at night just been like I don't want to think anymore I know I've said that like you just literally put your phone I I don't even want to think about it I don't want to do anything I don't want to have to fall long H I can do it tomorrow well according to Dr mlan check This out this is decision fatigue you're tapped out because of everything you've already done we're not giving ourselves credit for that of course we're just feeling exhausted she says a person with
decision fatigue may feel tired have brain fog or experience other signs and symptoms of physical or mental fatigue and the phenomenon is cumulative so that as the person makes more decisions throughout the day guess what you feel worse or you might be more drained as The day progresses holy cow I feel like I've had nothing but a string of days recently where by the time I'm finishing my last meeting at work I feel like I am Army crawling through the end of one of those Spartan marathon races through the mud up a mountain where they're
like electrocuting you at the very end as you're crawling underneath all these barriers I know that you feel the same way and it gets even deeper there are Actually four main symptoms medically speaking that show that you have decision fatigue you ready because you're about to go meet meet Number One symptom that you are tapped out no more decisions procrastination yep if you're putting off fold in the laundry tonight and saying I just too tired I'm going to do it tomorrow there you go impulsive um yep like for example the fact that I popped off
the couch last night walked Into the kitchen stood in front of the open freezer pulled out an ice cream Carton and started eating from it with a spoon yep that was last night avoidance avoidance yes I avoid anything that requires a decision which is why I scroll like a Mindless zombie idiot on my phone because that doesn't require me to do anything except for zone out are you saying same same and you want to know the fourth symptom that medically speaking means you're struggling with Decision fatigue indecision how many times have you parked yourself on
the couch and you've picked up the clicker and you literally spend an hour clicking through trailers trying to find something online to watch I mean I will literally spend an hour watching trailers only to make no decision about what to watch it's almost like looking at trailers online on Amazon Prime or on Netflix or Hulu or whatever it is that you like to watch that looking at Trailers is the new way to Doom scroll on social media only you're doing it on TV I know you're laughing because you do it or do you do that
thing where my husband has this Notes app and he has been keeping track of movie recommendations from people for literally like four years I guarantee you every other night he pulls it out is I'm flipping through trailers and he's like well let's take a look at the list and we have read through the list 55,000 Times and there is nothing on the list that I want to watch and now I know why because one of the symptoms of decision fatigue after a very long day which you experience and I experience is indecision I can't decide
what I want to watch because I have no freaking brain power left to make a decision and this brings me to the fact that you and I are losing control of our evenings because of this decision fatigue and I want to take a giant highlighter and Highlight it because if you don't know what you're up against it will continue to win and so understanding and giving yourself credit that your days are long you got a lot on your plate you are doing so much you're doing a great job you are pouring into everybody else you
were doing your best in what feels at times like an impossible workload and an over overwhelming world and then you come home and you want to know what holy cow I don't blame you you've made enough Decisions where's the reward here's the problem and this has been a problem for me for several weeks now is that it's understandable to feel exhausted at the end of the day and you deserve a pad of the back and you should be saying to yourself I did a great job today I did my best I showed up and I
want to say that in case you're not saying it to yourself but when you reach this point where you have decision fatigue and medically speaking you're Like I'm up against avoidance and indecision and impulsivity and procrastination you know what that sounds like that sounds like a recipe for disaster because here you've been focused all day long you've been making the best decisions that you can and now now when you've got an evening all to yourself now impulsivity procrastination and indecision takes over and you screw yourself over that's what I've been doing see this is what
Revenge bedtime Procrastination is it's this form of procrastination that hits because you're exhausted by your day you've just given everything that you had to give to everybody else and everything else and now at a moment in time where you deserve rest where you deserve to put yourself first where you deserve to turn back toward yourself and make yourself a priority now at this moment where you and I just can't even think about another thing this is where we Procrastinate see you and I are making a decision consciously to get less sleep why why are we
doing that why are we consciously deciding to flip through channels why are we mindlessly scrolling on our phones why are we doing this I'll tell you why this is crazy you're just trying to regain some personal time I mean it kind of makes sense right like that's why you collapse on the couch that's why I do and you want to know the totally screwed up thing is that my Husband doesn't do this it's kind of annoying like the man is so disciplined he has his habits dialed in his number one habit is sleep and that
man when it is ready for him to go to bed boom he pops off that couch he will leave me stranded on a deserted island called the couch in front of the TV while I am flipping through the phone and flipping through the channels and then honest to God this is what happened to me last night the man was in bed at 9:00 at Night 11:35 I look up and I'm like why am I still sitting here why am I still sitting here and then of course I make myself wrong because of course you do
the same I should have gone to bed hours ago I should have gone to bed hours ago and now I have allowed decision fatigue to turn into procrastination at bedtime where I'm making a decision I'll just scroll a little longer I'll just flip through the channels a little longer I'll just avoid going to bed when I know It's the best thing for me because I'm now struggling with indecision because I gave it all to everybody else no more no more I've I I've done this to myself for several weeks now it's time for me to
get serious about putting myself first again and that brings me to the five steps of this super simple evening routine this is an evening routine when the world is making you feel weary this is the evening routine that helps you set yourself up without requiring any Kind of motivation any kind of effort any kind of willpower this is so simple and yet it is going to pour back into you and that's why you're going to love it and every one of these five steps you're going to be like oh yeah I know this I just
needed to be reminded of this and the best advice in my mind is the advice that reminds you of what you know to be true because when you have this sense that yeah this is actually true and yeah I am struggling With decision fatigue and yeah I do do a lot and since I do a lot instead of rewarding myself with three hours of mindless social media why don't I just get couple extra hours of sleep wouldn't that be awesome and before we jump into this I want to just share one more piece of research
to really just say it's okay it's okay if you're resonating with everything and you're not in awn you're like that's me that's me and there's a reason why this happens it's not you This has to do with the fact that your brain's just tired in fact in this article Dr mlan says research shows that the best time to make decisions is in the morning the morning is when we make the most accurate and thoughtful decisions and we tend to be more cautious and meticulous how many times have you woken up in the morning and thought
all right tonight I'm actually going to go to bed early tonight I am not going to waste three hours looking At social media tonight I am not going to flip through the channels tonight I'm actually going to like do my thing and I'm going to get to bed early well the reason why you can think clearly in the morning is because research shows that you have the ability to be more accurate and thoughtful and cautious and meticulous and the opposite is true at the end of the day that according to the research you and I
hit a plateau in the afternoon and by the evening your Decisions are more impulsive and that explains why you can know that you need to go to bed but you make an impulsive decision because you're tired to not go to bed so again I'm going to tell you it's not your fault this is happening to all of us and simply because you and I know that we shouldn't be doing it it just isn't enough to overcome all the things that are working against you and what what an incredible job you're doing all day long And
so here's what you're going to do first of all you're going to give yourself a break you're going to recognize that this is a thing you're going to acknowledge that this actually isn't your fault and I'm going to walk you through the five steps of this super simple evening routine and the best part none of this actually requires any true decision-making like for real this is the kind of five-step routine you can do on autopilot you can do with zero gas in The tank that's how easy this is and it works and so let's start
with step number one and step number one of this simple evening routine for when the world is making you feel weary is pick your bedtime this is the foundation for everything and it is so obvious that when you're exhausted you actually miss the step and if you don't do step one the whole evening's out the window completely See your entire evening routine depends on this you have to pick your bedtime if you don't pick your bedtime you don't have an evening routine and that's part of the problem is most people don't pick a real bedtime
like you think okay I I need to go to bed at 10: but in reality you're scrolling until midnight and so you have to be intentional about this and here's the real trick are you ready it's not sort of when you think you want to go to Bed you have to actually think to yourself if I want to get a good night's sleep and that's roughly eight hours here's the rule of thumb and this comes from a conversation with one of the most renowned sleep experts in the world her name is Dr Rebecca Robbins she
is a medical doctor and a sleep researcher at Brigham and Women's Hospital here in Boston Massachusetts and she basically explains that you know the mistake that a lot of us make is we think that oh if I got to get 8 hours of sleep I'm going to go right to bed at 10:00 that means 8 hours of sleep at 6:00 a.m. bada bing bada boom she's like no no no no even the best sleepers actually take about 20 minutes to truly fall asleep and so here's a simple rule of thumb I'm going to give a
huge shout out to my friend Amy this is the rule of nine hours you ready this is going to blow your mind if you want to get eight hours of sleep you need to spend nine hours in bed you Ready you want to get eight hours of sleep you got to spend 9 hours in bed and so here's how I want you to find your real bedtime and you can make this decision first thing in the morning like first thing in the morning when you don't have decision fatigue you can say to yourself tonight I'm
going to get a good night's sleep which means I got to spend nine hours in bed if I want to get eight hours and so what time do I need to wake up and then let's work backwards So let me explain how this work let's say that you want to get up at 6:00 in the morning in order to follow this rule you want 8 hours of sleep you got to spend 9 hours in bed we got to move from 6:00 a.m. all the way back in time 9 hours that means your bedtime is 900
p.m. so if you want to get 8 hours of sleep and be up by 6:00 a.m. you got to be in bed by 9 p.m. I love this rule of thumb and now let's give you some more examples if you want to wake up at 7 amm and you'd actually like to give yourself 8 hours of sleep if we go from 7:00 a.m. back in time 9 hours you got to be in bed by 10:00 you got to be in bed by 10 p.m. if you're going to get up at 8:00 in the morning in
order to get eight hours of sleep do not be in bed at midnight that was the old Mel Robbins pull right in right on the deadline there I got to get right in bed for the eight hours no no no no no you're not giving Yourself actual time to fall asleep so by the time you get into bed you're already late you're already behind and so your bedtime is not when you fall asleep it's when you physically get in bed just think to yourself when do I actually need to get up in the morning to
set myself up to have a good day so give yourself time for me that's 6: a.m. 6: a.m. is really the golden hour for me if I get out of bed at 6:00 a.m. and I've had eight hours of sleep I am a Different human being and the problem is is that if I do this math I got to be in bed for 9 hours to get eight hours of sleep and if I want to get up at 6:00 a.m. that means I got to be in bed by 900 p.m. that's not what my bedtime
has been so no wonder I'm screwing myself over and so I want you to think about this right now because you know what time you should be getting out of bed because it just gives you enough time to set yourself up and get your morning Started in a way that empowers you which you deserve by the way CU you're doing so much all day long so let's start there do you want to get up at 5:00 a.m. 6:00 a.m. 7 8 what time do you want to get up and then let's move the clock backwards
9 hours and that's your bedtime and one more also piece of research here that will help you with this is you can pick this as a general rule for yourself like my husband's bedtime is 900 p.m. that's When the man goes to sleep and he falls asleep very fast he wakes up at 5:30 a.m. like clockwork every single day he has no drama no procrastination because he has picked his bedtime and what's interesting is there's research from Harvard Medical School this comes from their guide to a good night's sleep that having a consistent bedtime helps
you fall asleep faster and get deeper sleep so step one what you can do right now is I want you to pick your bedtime and I Promise promise you it's earlier than you think it should be because I never did the math properly until I sat down with Dr Rebecca Robbins and had this whoa wait a minute if I want eight hours of sleep I got to be in bed nine hours that gives me time to read a book it gives me time to kind of lay there it doesn't put pressure on me I don't
start getting nervous I'm actually working with the science and since you pick your bedtime ahead you don't need to worry About decision fatigue and here's another simple tip you can do if you're just starting to learn this new routine put it in your phone as an alarm because that way if you're sitting on the couch mindlessly procrastinating and doom scrolling or flipping through the channels boom it comes up and it's like bedtime you need to be in bed for nine hours to get eight hours of sleep and you deserve that and if that pops up
it's like a little nudge from you when You had clearer thinking to remind you okay put the phone down because it's time to turn back toward you and give your energy back to you now you're going to move to step two clean up the MK so you start your day fresh it's just like flushing the toilet like when you've used the toilet and you've made a mess why would you leave it in there of course you don't want to you want to clean up the mess so that you have a bowl that's fresh right and
I want you To think about your day just like using a bathroom when you're done you flush you don't leave it there you don't want to have to stare it again and the same is true about cleaning up today's mess so you can start tomorrow fresh because why would you leave today's mess for you to clean up tomorrow morning see there's a huge difference when you wake up and you walk into the kitchen area and it's clean there's a huge difference when you walk into the place where your sink is And there's nothing in it
it's the difference between waking up fresh and feeling behind because you got all this stuff all over the kitchen counter you got all this stuff lying on the floor you got all this stuff spread out all over the place you got all this stuff piled up in the sink how does that make you feel it makes me feel like I'm behind it makes me feel like I got stuff that I need to do that I should have done yesterday that's now sitting here Staring at me right in the face first thing in the morning and
so when I just do step two and again this is kind of that thing where you got like 15 minutes before it's your bedtime and now it's time to just clean up today's mess so you can start tomorrow fresh what does that look like it takes 5 minutes like I'm not talking about doing a deep clean I'm talking about just cleaning up the mess why so when you wake up tomorrow it's fresh you're calm you're in control You got nothing you got to do but just step into the day and so here's what I do
it takes less than five minutes and what I love about this is I do this on autopilot like so I've worked a full day I don't want to do anything I've made dinner I've fed the dogs I've done a little laundry I've collapsed on the couch maybe I've clicked through channels maybe I've scrolled a little bit all of a sudden I'm like oh my gosh it's getting close to my bedtime time to Clean up today's mess so I first walk through the kitchen and I get everything out of the sink I literally load the dishwasher
I wash out the pots I clear off the counters if the trash is full I take out the trash and walk it into the garage if there's things that are not where they belong like somebody has hung their jacket on the chairs around the island in the I pick up the jacket I walk it and put it on the hook I plug in my laptop if I've got things that I need To remember for work I stack them in a little pile and I put them on the countertop that's all that I'm talking about that's
it for you it might mean that pile of clothes that are in the in the corner of the bedroom put them in a laundry basket instead of letting them lay there you know the other night I got home from a trip and I had opened up my suitcase but I hadn't unpacked it do you know what clean up today's mess meant it didn't mean unpack everything and start Laundry I literally folded my suitcase back up and stuck it in my closet clean up the mess because when I wake up in the morning the first thing
that I see is not the open suitcase and something that I needed to do that I should have done yesterday and there's something really incredible that happens when you just have no energy and you're starting to wind down and you just kind of make a pass like a Zamboni through the kitchen And you just kind of clear off the counters you hang up the coats and you get everything out of the sink and why ises this work multiple studies show that living in a messy environment it actually raises your stress level because you see things
that aren't done and when you wake up to yesterday's mess it drains all of your energy for today before you even get into your day and so the first decisions that you're making in the morning are should I do the Dishes that I left for last night should I hang up the C you could have mindlessly done those as part of your windown routine and see doing it at night it actually takes less effort why well you already have no gas lift in the tank so you're not going to be a perfectionist about this you're
not going to turn like changing things around into some big project where you're now organizing kitchen drawers you're just going to take the scissors And stick them in the drawer instead of taking the scissors first thing in the morning be like oh my gosh this drawer is a mess now I should be organizing this thing and next thing you know you're like running even later because you took on something more in the morning when you had more energy don't do it don't do it in fact we were talking as a team about this and one
of our team members was like like oh my gosh I have so gotten into a habit of Leaving the dishes at night for me to do in the morning and every time at night I'm like I'll do it in the morning why decision fatigue we know you procrastinate you're impulsive and you avoid things when you have decision fatigue which we all do at the end of the day but what happens when you wake up and you've gotten up and you're ready to start your day and you walk in the kitchen and there is a disgusting
pan that is full of soapy leftover chili That you have filled last night with hot water and soap thinking oh I'll just let it soak all overnight and it'll be easier there is nothing easy about plunging your hands first thing in the morning into a greasy cold chunky pot that has been soaking all night and now it's waiting for you like a dish hangover for you to deal with and this is how you're starting your day don't do it and look again I'm not Trying to blame you this isn't about like becoming an ultra marathoner
and like killing your goals this is literally the world's already beaten you down you got enough to deal with and so while you're already exhausted while you're starting to wind down while you're starting to turn off the lights and close the doors and all this stuff literally like just clear off the counters do you see how this works that you can just boom do yourself a little Favor while you're tired you're kind of zombieing your way to bed all good and when you clean up today's mess so you can start tomorrow fresh five minutes and
it's a gift you can give to yourself all right let's talk about number three okay number three I love this is make tomorrow easier like set yourself up by making tomorrow easier because what's the hardest part about having a good morning routine again it's all the decisions that you have to make Am I going to exercise how do I feel am I getting out of bed am I not am I drinking water am I drinking coffee am I getting sunlight in my eyes what am I doing and so one of my favorite things to do
after I've cleaned up today's mess is how can I make tomorrow morning easier how can I set myself up tonight just in simple ways I'm not talking about anything complicated here again you and I are doing these steps with zero gas in the tank we are doing these Steps on autopilot we are doing these steps because we know these simple things are a way to take care of ourselves when the world is wearing us down and so there are simple things that I do when I'm literally half asleep walking to bed number one I always
pull out my workout clothes and I just lay them right on the floor why well because it's easy when you're exhausted and you're already in your bedroom to just pull open the door And be like okay tights and a and a tank top and a jog bra and okay I'm going to go for a walk so let me throw the sweatshirt on boom I'm done no thinking about it no considering how I feel about it nothing another thing that I do super simple as I'm clearing off the counters a way that I make my mornings
easier is I fill up a water bottle or I fill up you know one of my handy little mason jars and I fill it up with water and I always pour in this uh like electrolyte Mix by this company Element I know you're going to ask they're one of our sponsors they did not pay me to say that I actually used the watermelon flavor pour it into my water it's got like magnesium and salt and potassium and you know what I do with it I stick it in front of the coffee maker why oh well
I've just made my morning so much easier because when I get up and I go through my morning routine and I eventually walk out into the kitchen first of all Kitchen's clean so I got no mess to clear up thank you Mel Robbins my morning just got better and then I walk over to the coffee maker because I want a cup of coffee but then boom I've set up my water now it's easy to drink water before coffee it took me no time like I'm literally doing it sleepwalking at night thank you Mel Robbins last
night what else do I do at times I'll pack up my lunch I will prep a little bit of breakfast or at least look in there and Be like okay there's no eggs oh I could do yogurt okay got it another thing you could do put your keys in the same place pack up your backpack and put it on the counter set out the forms that the kids need why are you doing this well because anything that you do tonight that could make tomorrow morning easier is a gift that you're giving to yourself and so
these simple things that if you are half asleep and you're organizing your work stuff and just collecting it on the Island boom there you go how much easier did you just make the morning now in the morning you don't have to search for stuff and you just kind of did it half asleep and this works because of what we've been talking about this idea of all of the decisions that you have to make all day long and so if you're literally zero gas in the tank and you're already going to turn off the lights and
you're already going to put the dogs in the mud room or in their Crates or you're already going to turn down the heat or you're already going to be kind of going through that okay turn off this light and do like the wine down so that you are now ending the day as part of that just do a few things that set you up for success I mean that's the coolest thing one of the things my husband does that I've noticed recently is he drinks a smoothie in the morning before he works out he now
makes like a triple batch and then he'll pour A bunch of it into mason jars and then he puts it in the freezer and then in the morning he just pulls one out of the freezer and sticks it in the microwave for a minute and now he's got like this soupy yummy pre-made protein thing I mean talk about making your life easier and here's the other thing all of these small little things that you're doing and I love the one about laying out your clothes on the floor right it removes a decision you have to
Make in the morning it removes any friction that your feelings create I don't feel like doing it I'm too tired well there are the clothes just put them on and that makes these new habits easier to stick to because you really don't have to think about it because you've just made it obvious and easier because it's staring at you right there another big trick for me that's really helped with making sure that I exercise every day is I pick what I'm going to do The day before for exercise so for example if I'm going to
walk I know I'm going to walk if I'm going to stream an exercise class which is what I did this morning I've actually picked the exercise class and I text it to me why or I put it in my calendar because then in the morning I don't have to make a decision the clothes are on the floor just staring at me like what are you going to do step over me and ignore the fact that you're supposed to exercise no I'm going to put it on even though I don't feel like it and then instead
of walking into the kitchen going okay what am I going to do am I I've already made the decision I've texted myself the link to the class and that makes it easier to get done do you see how Geniuses is and here's the thing I love about this so much is that because I'm tired at night I don't overthink these things I just kind of mindlessly check the box like do you ever as you're standing at your door Question whether or not you should lock it or turn on the alarm of course not like it
doesn't matter how tired you are you always turn off the lights and you always lock the door like it's part of your routine and picking a bedtime and cleaning up today's mess so tomorrow you can start fresh and just making little things easier in the morning this is so mindless I I it really does feel good and that brings me to step four and this this Part's like amazing you're just going to take five minutes for yourself that's it five minutes for you like you already gave your day to everybody else you already gave time
to social media you already took care of everybody in your family you already responded to the texts and you wrote the emails and you sat in the meetings and you did your work you already took care of the dogs and the cat you already took care of people at work if you have a a job where You taking care of people you've already poured energy into everybody else's stuff you've already wasted time like just mindlessly watching things how about before you climb into bed instead of constantly giving more more of your attention more of your
energy to your phone or to the TV or to somebody's drama what if you turned back to yourself what if you gave yourself something that you haven't had All day which is just time I mean really stop and think about this because I'm sure your life feels a lot like mine like when you wake up in the morning that's a moment of peace and power and you're in control of what you're thinking about in your attention in the morning for whatever period of time that you have until you look at the phone or you look
at the TV like you control those first five to 20 minutes first thing in the morning but the second you give it to your phone or to a TV you literally just turned everything that you got your brain your attention your heart your energy to the world and you're not going to get it back until this moment right here right now every evening and I say you deserve at least 15 minutes of time back this is time you could read a book This is time you could roll out a yoga mat and do a quick
stretch this is time where you could meditate you could Journal you could just after you've turned off the lights and you've kind of cleaned up the mess so you can start tomorrow fresh and you've made a few things a little bit easier you could just sit in gratitude that you did that for for yourself you could ask yourself what Went well today that's a prompt that we learned from The Amazing expert on brain and brain health Dr Daniel aan one of the things that I love to do in these five minutes is I run a
bath like when I start that wine down I turn the bath on and then I go and I clean up the mess in the kitchen and I start to wind down the house and lock the doors and turn on the alarm and put the dogs you know in the mud room and all that stuff while the bath is running and all the while I'm Making things easier this takes me 5 10 minutes tops and by the time I get in my bedroom the bath is drawn these are my five minutes some nights I'll make a
cup of tea and I'll put a scoop of magnesium in it cup of mint tea magnesium I love this time and here's one thing that I've noticed if I have succumbed to decision fatigue and I have engaged in Revenge bedtime procrastination and I have avoided going to bed because I feel like I deserve time do you know what I don't Do I don't take time for myself like it's a lie to believe that scrolling mindlessly is actually time for you it's a lie that you tell yourself that slumping on the couch and having a phone
in your hand while you're flipping and watching trailers is somehow time for you no that's more time that you're giving your attention to other things these five minutes are about turning back to yourself and here's what I've noticed is that when you start to just Reflexively make time for yourself whether you're going to run a bath or make a cup of tea or you're going to journal at night or you're going to have a book that you read you know what you're less likely to do you're less likely to be turning your attention to your
phone or binge watching TV the other thing that happens when you turn to yourself is what Dr Rebecca Robbins calls a windown routine is now you're slowing yourself down and you're Activating what's called your parasympathetic nervous system you're basically signaling to your body okay just like we're turning off the lights and we're locking the door and we're clearing off the counters and we're emptying out the sink and we're doing some simple things to make my day go better tomorrow to take care of myself all of those actions signal hey body hey mind Hey nervous system
you don't have to be in a state of fight or Flight right now you don't have to be on edge you don't have to be bracing or escaping it's safe we're going to rest now like this whole little routine which you can do on autopilot exhausted with zero gas in the tank is also a way to signal to your body that wow I do deserve rest I I do deserve this quiet not everything in my life has to be so stimulating in fact I don't want it to be and you want to know Something cool
that happens over time that five minutes that you spend soaking in a bath becomes 10 and then it becomes 20 minutes because you've made a cup of tea ahead of time and then suddenly you've also bought a good book and now instead of looking at your phone you've read a little you've made your tea you're now part of your wine routine as you're cleaning up today's messes to set yourself up for tomorrow and you're making things easier and you're now Turning back to yourself like your whole evening and are you getting this is actually you
turning back to yourself it is you saying to yourself with every small little move that you make in this tiny little five-step routine I matter my rest matters sleep matters feeling good matters and I've already given enough of myself to the world no more no more I'm going to give myself that time because I deserve it and you're going to feel different like Literally just doing this routine once and I'm done with the procrastination at night you're going to feel so empowered and so that brings me to step number five and this is the final
step I want you to tuck your phone in before you tuck yourself in okay I could spend an entire episode in fact we could do dozens and dozens and dozens of conversations about the phone and how it's impacting your sleep but I'm not going to go all science on you I'm going To appeal to your wisdom to what you know to be true and I am going to appeal to your better nature and your ability to truly take care of yourself and so here's the thing you wouldn't let your toddler sleep with an iPad in
their bed at least I hope you wouldn't why wouldn't you do that well I think we all know that a toddler wouldn't be able to help themselves right they'd be checking it well we're All a toddler when it comes to the phone and so you can't let yourself sleep with your phone like this is a massive GameChanger and the reason why I'm going to say it needs to be a step in your routine is because just remember you are also at the end of the day struggling with decision fatigue that means you are already more
impulsive you already are struggling with Indecision this is why every one of us climbs in the bed and we're like ah I shouldn't look at my phone and then boom you are indecisive about it so you look at your phone you know you should put it away but you avoid putting it away you have decision fatigue this is not your fault which is why you need to tuck your phone in before you tuck yourself in and for me what does this mean it means I tuck my phone into the bathroom I cannot have it next
to me I can't I'm too Impulsive I am prone to procrastinating I will avoid doing what's right for me if I were an alcoholic I would not have a Manhattan next to me a bed if I had cocaine problem I would not have an eightball sitting right there and I Know Myself and I know you and at this moment you are Peak decision fatigue and if you actually care about yourself you will tuck your phone in before you tuck yourself in and for me that meant learning how to plug that thing into the Bathroom even
though it felt like I was going through massive withdrawal and something terrible was going to happen and what if this and what if that this is the single biggest game Cher when it comes to your evenings and your ability to sleep and your ability to wake up tomorrow and have the day actually work for you and to have a fighting chance that you're going to make decisions that Empower you first thing in the morning instead of yet again turning your most Precious asset which is your attention and your energy to the phone and to the
world around you like they get it all day long that's why we have to have boundaries between the world and actually ourselves and what's good for us and so I plug mine into the bathroom because a I can't reach for it in bed B I set my alarm on the phone and that means when the alarm rings I'm not laying in bed and rotting in bed and avoiding getting out of bed I'm getting Up to go turn the alarm off on the phone and number three there's so much research around this aside just from what
we're talking about with decision fatigue and you being more prone to impulsivity and more prone to avoid going to bed and getting the sleep that you need because you feel like you deserve time to hang out the time to hang out is not at night when you need sleep and there's other reasons why this matters I mean and you've heard all of This the blue light from your phone it suppresses melatonin the notifications the Doom scrolling the the the lights that come up it keeps your brain active because your brain is waiting for another notification
it's looking for it which what makes it harder to fall asleep and even just having your phone near you affects the quality of your sleep I mean the science around this is bananas the light at night is part of the reason why so many of you don't get Enough sleep researchers have actually linked shortened sleep cycles to increase risk for depression as well as diabetes cardiovascular problems this this is research that was published in Harvard Health publishing I mean here's the bottom line I want you to find a new bed to tuck your phone into
and it can't be your bedside table charge it in the kitchen charge it in the bathroom charge it across the room from you or charge it where my husband charges his phone in The closet at night with the door closed because that will give you the chance to get the sleep you deserve and again I want you to embrace the truth of where we started okay the fact is you and I live in a moment in time where the world is engineered and designed on purpose to seal your time your energy and your attention all
day long you are giving yourself to work to people you care about to your kids to your friends to your classmates to your teachers you Are pouring your brain into solving projects to answering texts to responding to emails like it's unbelievable how much you do in a day unbelievable and I want you to give yourself credit for that and I also want you to understand that when you come home and you're tired and you're exhausted and you just want to collapse and quote not think this is normal that's exactly how you should feel in a
world where you're working very hard and You're giving it you're all and you're trying to show up and you're doing a great job by the way you are doing a great job giving it all to the world and I want to remind you that you deserve that attention and that effort back to yourself and even though I get it like it is so easy to Doom scroll it is so tempting to collapse on the couch and just be impulsive and avoidant and make decisions that really kind of screw yourself over I'm here to tell you
you Deserve more and nobody's going to change this for you in fact it's just going to get worse honestly the more the headlines are scary the more you have problems in your life the more overwhelmed you are work the worse it gets at night in terms of staying up too late and avoiding going to bed and continuing to look at your phone or TV the worse it's going to get and you now know why oh wait a minute I'm not an idiot I am struggling with decision Fatigue oh wait a minute I've already poured everything
into everybody else so I do have to claw back this time both at night and first thing in the morning this makes a lot of sense oh wait a minute the second that I look at my phone or I turn on the TV I've now put the phone and the TV and everything on it in front of my sanity and my rest and my peace oh wow yeah this makes a lot of sense and so now that you know what's at play and you know that there is a Situation that is beyond your it's not
your fault this is just the way life is right now but more important importantly when you accept that reality you now get to choose you get to choose whether or not you're going to succumb to the pressures and the programming of the modern world or if you're going to take your evenings and your sanity back and the way that I've done it and the way that I keep coming back to it and the way that you're going to do it tonight Is very simple right now pick your bedtime you're going to work backward from the
wakeup time is it 6:00 a.m. is it 7: a.m. is it 8: a.m. when do you want to get up then let's work work backward and you need 9 hours in bed in order to get 8 hours of sleep I love this and it is going to be earlier than you think it is for me it is 900 p.m. Eastern because I have a great morning if I get up at 6:00 a.m. and that means I gotta basically be hit in the bed Around 9 to ensure that I get 8 hours of sleep second thing
that you're going to do and I love this because again you do this when you're tired you do this this is part of the lock the door turn off the lights and start to wind down the day you're just going to clean up today's messes so you can start tomorrow fresh this is not a deep clean this is literally bare minimum people we're throwing the scissors in the drawer we are putting the backpacks by the door We're hanging up the coats we are getting rid of the dishes in the sink and either washing them or
sticking them in the dish we're clearing off the C that's all you're doing so you get to wake up fresh tomorrow how cool is that as you're doing that find small ways to set yourself up for Success tomorrow by making whatever you need to do in the morning easier consolidate your stuff for work put your keys right on top pack your lunch you can do that mindlessly Throw your exercise clothes on the floor find the dog leash and the dog bads like you're literally half asleep while you're doing this that's why this is so cool
because that means you don't actually have to exert any energy tomorrow you've just made things easier if you love a cup of coffee first thing grind the coffee have the coffee maker ready to go if you got a timer on it set the timer boom you just made the morning easy you removed one more decision and You reserved your brain power in the morning for something more important now the four step five minutes for you acknowledge the fact that you gave it all as best you could to everybody else today and now as you are
winding down the day make part of your wind down routine 5 minutes for you that's it a bath cup of tea Journal simply as you're getting undressed ask yourself what went well today just something that's for you Stretch could be reading a book to your kids before they go to bed you know you're kind of just being present with them snuggling five minutes for you for me it's a bath always a bath always a bath always a bath and then finally the fifth step in this incredibly simp simple evening routine for when the world just
makes you feel weary and overwhelmed and tired tuck your phone in before you tuck yourself in this is going to be the hardest one and I get it And here's one final thing if you're somebody that's worried about your kids or work being able to reach you no problem just text everybody in fact you could share this episode with them and say hey I just listened to this thing and I am going to try getting a better night sleep I'm going to try this evening routine and because of what I've just learned I want you
to know something if you have an emergency you can still reach me in the middle of the Night just call me don't text me because I'm going to be tucking my phone into the bathroom so I won't be reading the text till the morning but if you actually need me call me and I'll leave the ringer on Boom notifications off ringer on then you can tuck your phone in knowing that if somebody needs you they'll call you and you my friend can tuck yourself in and actually get the sleep you deserve how cool is that
I'm really excited for you I'm really Excited to see how you use this I'm excited to see how this shifts something in you you know my main desire in talking through this with you is not to make anybody wrong certainly not to make myself wrong I know I'm working really hard right now and I just noticed wow I'm sort of in this slump at night and it's time to remind myself of what I know to be true and I thought since I'm really been struggling with this and I needed this reminder I just figured you
Probably needed this reminder too and so do the people that you love so I want to thank you for being here with me I want to thank you for choosing to listen to something that will really help you take your evenings and your sanity back one five little step routine one night at a time this works you can do it and you deserve you deserve to have your evenings you deserve to wake up and feel refreshed and to feel like you don't Have to do a million things because you've done these five simple things and
I promise you you try it for a couple nights and you're going to feel like a whole new you in fact I think you're going to feel like yourself again all righty in case nobody else tells you I wanted to be sure to tell you that I love you and what does that mean that means love for me is two things it's just simply admiring something in someone And consideration having them in mind and so I say I love you because I admire the fact that even when you don't have time you're finding time to
listen to a podcast or to watch it on YouTube that could actually help you create a better life and I admire that about you and I always have you in mind when I'm thinking about what we're going to talk about because I want to make sure that this is worth your time and I know the conversation today is and so I love you For that and I believe in you and I believe in your ability to take these five steps and try them out for a couple nights and see how it changes how you feel
it changes how you sleep and it changes how you wake up and that my friend is going to change your life all righty I'll be waiting for you in the very next episode I'll be there to welcome you in the moment you hit play I'll see you there and for you thank you thank you thank you for being here with Me all the way to the end on YouTube I love you you for being here I am constantly thinking about ways that our team can make videos and content and bring you experts that will truly
help you change your life and so I want to thank you for spending time watching this and also my goal is to make sure that 50% of the people that watch this channel are subscribers it's free to subscribe you just hit the button and it tells me and our team that you really Value these videos that you value access to worldclass experts and it supports Us in continuing to bring you the Mel Robbins podcast and more and more cool stuff that's coming up here on YouTube that I cannot wait for you to see um and
so thank you for doing that and I know you're thinking all righty I loved this now what I think you're going to love this video next and the second you hit play I will be waiting to welcome you in I'll see you there
