Be The Best Version Of Yourself: Part 1: Subtitles English: BK Shivani

We set goals for whatever we want to do. I need to do this. I need to become so and so.

I need to reach this position. We also set goals for children that we should make them so and so. Whatever goals we set Goal setting alone is not sufficient.

What do we do after setting our goals? We make efforts to achieve them. We do it with determination.

Even if we face failure, we do not give up. We are determined enough to tell ourselves - I certainly need to do it. I certainly need to become this .

. . And then we reach our goal.

How many of you have set goals and reached them in your life? Raise your hand. Let's not hesitate to raise our hand.

There is no ego in doing it. We need to know our potential. Quite often our goals are so lofty that people around us say - You cannot do it.

We do sets such lofty goals. In fact, most people come to Mumbai, keeping such lofty goals. So this city already has that energy and vibration Because a lot of people come to the city Who is family and friends and everyone else discourage them saying - You cannot achieve this goal.

So this city carries a very special energy. Whoever achieved their goal has a miracle story. But who creates those miracles?

Those miracles are created by our determination. There could also several people who have come into the city Along with their goals. But what did they not have a long the goal?

Determination. It is very easy to set goals. But along the gold what else do we need?

A little determination. Along with determination we also need power. Even if everyone around us believe that we cannot achieve our goal We just need to continue focusing Which means being and touched by public opinion Public refers to anyone and it can be our own family Untouched by people's opinion.

We remain focused and we achieve our goal. Just be very detached and think about it If you want to achieve something outside There could be several obstacles, challenges, and problematic situations. Is that easy?

Or is it easier to change our Sanskars? Which is easier? Is it easier to achieve external goals?

How is that possible? Achieving external goals means we need to deal with so many other factors and not just ourselves. Sometimes we put in a lot of effort but the people who work with us are not doing their job.

Sometimes situations are not favourable. Sometimes we do not get opportunities. So in order to achieve external goals we ourselves are not the sole factors.

There are multiple factors involved. Of course with our determination we can cross all those multiple factors. Nevertheless there are several factors involved.

And what about when we need to change Sanskars? How many factors are involved when we need to change a Sanskar? Only one (ourselves).

So we need to ask ourselves that when we have crossed so many external factors Then crossing this one internal factor is the easiest of all. But why do we sometimes give up on this? Because often we do not keep a goal for this.

We do not sustain our determination for this. We do not determinedly say - I must and should do this. Wherever attention goes, energy flows and things grow.

Which means wherever we focus our attention that I have to do this Our energy radiates in that direction. Where our energy goes Our desire will start manifesting. If we create external goals, we will create miracles there.

And if we create internal goals (Sanskar transformation) and pay just 10% of the attention that we pay for external goals The only problem is that we have not made our Sanskar transformation into a goal. Have you ever created a goal to say - I must and should change this Sanskar? And have you made it time-bound?

We usually make a resolution on new year. Else we make a resolution on our birthday. And we keep saying in advance - I will bring about this change in myself from that day.

So it already gets postponed by a few months. For instance if you tell someone - You were supposed to to change this Sanskar. You were supposed to wake up early.

They will reply - I will do it from 1st January. But on 31st December it would be a late night, so it'll get postponed to 2nd January. So anyway we finally postpone things.

The more we do these two things: Postpone and doubt. And the third factor is to be touched by people's opinion. The more we do these three things, the quality of our determination comes down.

There was a research that a majority of the people cannot sustain their new year resolution beyond 5th January. Because it just remained a resolution that yes I need to do so and so. There was not determination on it There was no act of watering (nurturing the new habit) There was no checking of the progress on a daily basis There was no reaffirming of the goal to make it stronger.

None of them were happening. And this is why the goal was not manifesting. Did all of you choose 3 Sanskars to change in yourself?

I hope you did not look at 3 Sanskars that the person sitting next to you should change in them. Because we spend most of our time focusing on other people's Sanskars. Our intention is very pure that our child or spouse should change this Sanskar.

We are able to see what changes they need. Likewise they will be able to see what changes we need to bring about. Anyone who has not identified 3 Sanskars to change in the self?

Does any of you want to share the 3 Sanskars you have chosen, unless it is personal? Power of listening? Listening with your ears or with your mind?

Listening is of two types. One is when our ears are hearing, but our mind is elsewhere. Essentially we are not listening.

And the other is when we do not even hear through our ears. We are in a hurry to speak. But it is of course easier to remain quiet and not say anything orally.

We need to check whether we are listening with our mind Listening does not mean we are thinking of something else Listening means when the other person is saying something We should not be judging their words internally in our mind as - she should not have done this, she should have done that. Which means we are talking too much inside. When we are internally speaking to ourselves, we are not listening to the other person.

So that is 1 Sanskar to change - to increase my listening power. Anybody else? Want to be the best version of my happy self.

For that we need to eliminate the leakage which is causing my happiness to decrease. Unless we identify what is causing the leakage of happiness I want to be happy That is fine because happiness is our natural form. We need to identify the Sanskar which is depleting my happiness.

Anger is anyway there. It is like our friend, isn't it? It's always sitting with us.

Why does it not leave us? Because we have a deep rooted belief system Work doesn't get done without using anger. Unless we get rid of this belief system We kind of hide anger in a corner of our mind, that we will need it at some point.

Even the society has become such that things get done when we get a little angry. So that belief system gets more reinforced. If I had told lovingly to do it, they would not have done it.

But when I got angry, they did it. So it is a deep rooted belief system. Unless we change our belief system our Sanskar does not change.

Yes, we know what is right but we now need to start following it. Anything else? Not to be affected by people.

Which means whatever people say about me That should not affect my state of mind. First let's check one aspect When somebody says something about me, why does it even make a difference? Not getting affected by it is the second stage.

First is, why does it right now affect me? Because even when we were children I am not sure if it happens even now but it used to happen in our childhood. When guests came over, parents would tell us - Sing a song to them, show them your painting It is a good thing.

That we show our child's talents to relatives and friends. But that child is quite young Whatever the child sees at that moment, he absorbs it into his consciousness. As soon as be portrayed any talent, everyone around us said - Good girl .

. . Good boy They did not say - Good painting.

If they had said good painting or good performance, the comment would have remained at the level of the painting. They did not say it was a good performance or good singing Instead they said Now let's equate it When other people tell me I am a good girl, only then I am a good girl. This got rooted in our consciousness when we were children.

At that time we did not even know the definitions of good and bad, or right and wrong. So our programming started happening. When people said we were a good girl or a good boy, we were applauded and appreciated.

If everyone says that I am good, only then I am good. But if they say I am wrong, then I believe that I am wrong and I am bad. So I grew up believing it is normal, that what people say is true.

Now let's check it slowly. Let's pay attention. What people say about me Who are they actually talking about?

Are they talking about me or not? For example, the dress that you are wearing People give their opinion about it. We are 300 people here today.

Each of you can come here and you will get 300 different opinions about your dress. It is fine. When someone gives an opinion, where is that opinion coming through?

What is the basis for that opinion? Their own perception. We need to double underline this.

If you are wearing a white dress If I like white colour I will say - You look so pretty. Because white comes under my likes. So it is less about your dress and more about my Sanskar.

If I dislike white If I believe that white is to be worn only when there is some sad situation Then as soon as I meet you I will ask - Why did you wear this? Did you not you find any other colour? You are the same and your dress is the same But different people will give you different opinions about it Based on their own Sanskar.

If we underline it as - Whatever they are saying about me reflects their Sanskar. This is not applicable only for negative situations. If someone is is appreciating you Even then, whose sanskars is it reflecting?

It doesn't mean that I don't have weaknesses and vices. It is just that they have a Sanskar of focusing on what is good in me. And they are praising me because they are focused on my good Sanskars.

So their appreciation is a reflection of who's Sanskar? Theirs. So when you get an opinion The first thing our mind should say is - They are reflecting their state of mind.

They are reflecting their belief system. They are reflecting their Sanskar. If we can take something from their opinion, let's take it.

If we don't need to take anything from it, still we thank them. But usually we never realise to say - They are reflecting their Sanskar. Instead we say - They said such things about me.

As though are giving an opinion about our Sanskar. That is not true. They are only showing their Sanskar to us.

If someone has viral fever, they will find even a sweet dish to be bitter. Even if you give them the tastiest sweet, they will reject it saying it is bitter. Does that sweet start feeling bad because of their opinion?

No. That sweet is aware of its own qualities. So all that is required is - we need to know who we are.

Even if someone says wonderful things about us Even then I need to know - What am I? How far have I reached? Where should I reach?

What change should I bring in myself? We should pay attention when we are being appreciated Criticism usually affects us only because appreciation had affected us. Suppose there is a pendulum here.

If this pendulum is at the centre when we get appreciation Then even when we get the opposite of appreciation, it will remain at the centre. If I get 20% excited when I receive appreciation Then it is simple science that The pendulum will shift to the other side by 20% when I receive criticism. Likewise if I get 90% excited when I receive appreciation The pendulum will shift to the other side by 90% when I receive criticism.

So we don't need to pay attention when we receive negative opinions. When should we pay attention? When people are appreciating us.

Even then we just need to say - Thank you to them. They are reflecting their beautiful Sanskars. They are reflecting their Sanskar of focusing only on good things.

Because it is not true that I have no weaknesses in me. So the pendulum always needs to remain centred. And this is 100% science.

It is impossible that the mind shifts only 10% during appreciation and 50% in the face of criticism. This is simple science The extent to which the pendulum moves in this direction is the same extent it moves in the other direction. God teaches us In criticism and in praise In victory and defeat In happiness and sorrow We remain equanimous.

When there is a good situation we get very excited an day - I am on top of the world. Then when there is an opposite situation we go down in the dumps. It is simple science.

How much are we allowing our mind to fluctuate across the spectrum? From now on, whenever there is a favourable situation we will give gratitude. And when the situation is not favourable, we still give gratitude.

Because that circumstances will bring out my inner power. So we need to hold onto this line In criticism and in appreciation, in success and in failure It is not about what is happening outside. It is about what is happening inside.

If something good happens outside and we get very excited, it means we have failed internally. Why have we failed? Because we let the situation overpower us.

If there is a favourable situation let's be grateful. What should we say if the situation is not favourable? Tell yourself there is a benefit even in that situation.

Because there certainly will be a benefit. In fact we will be able to see the benefit after a while. How many of you have experienced it?

You felt unfavourable but later on you realised that what happened was beneficial to you. We need to write down our experiences. But on the date happens We question - How could it happen to me?

Why did it happen? Sometimes we see the benefits after 8 months or one year or two years or after 3 years. At that time we say - Whatever happened was actually good for me.

It is one aspect that whatever happened was actually good for us. But what about the negative energy which we created during those two years or three years? Which means my best version started diluting.

Creating a best version means As soon as a challenging scene occurs We need to check what is the first vibration that we create?