[Music] I then all of a sudden started to feel this warmth as if somebody shined like a really bright light or the sun came out from behind a cloud and started to warm my back and as it did that warmth started to come over my whole being and I turned around to see where this warmth was coming from as I was turning I was seeing all the good things I ever did in my life I started to see that I actually did quite a bit more good than I ever did bad and I got to
see that lots of times when I didn't know I was making a difference for people I was and I felt this tremendous unconditional love and peace and warmth but also coolness at the same time coming over me and and again it was all coming from behind me so I turn fully around and I see this gentleman and I had this thought you must be God and with without him moving his mouth he said no son I'm not God I'm your guide [Music] [Music] [Laughter] [Music] [Music] I'm Vinnie Tolman I was born in Arlington Texas I
was raised in a a pretty rough home a very strict home uh you know raised kind of as an army brat my dad had spent some time in the Army and had really liked the discipline of the army and he tended to to be really really hard especially on me and As I Grew in that environment I tended to have a a hard time respecting men of any kind and I I tended to try to find Opportunities to fight anyone I could to really channel that energy out of me and at one point I realized
that that wasn't me and in that process I discovered bodybuilding as a young 20 something year old um the better my body looked it seemed like the more attention I got and I like that it it felt good so we would do you know early morning workouts evening workouts every day lots of you know your traditional creatine and protein powders and pre-workouts the most popular muscle recovery supplements at the time was a product called Furon dehydro it allowed you to heal about 48 Hours of healing in 24 hours so you could do arms every day
chest every day so that's what we were using it for all the stores ran out and it got to a point where the waiting list was like 6 months to get a bottle of it and we were impatient we didn't want to wait 6 months so we went online to try to find other sources one of them was a company in Thailand and so we ordered a bottle from this company in Thailand and when it arrived we were you know excited we we said heyy we'll use we'll use this on Saturday and do a workout
took it Saturday morning right off the bat we felt something was different about this and come to find out later what we were getting from Thailand was 100% solution and what we were using in the United States was a 5% solution so it was just like taking 20 bottle caps worth of this supplement instantly we both felt um nausea and like almost a dizziness kick in we didn't think we were in trouble we just thought hey let's go get something to eat maybe that'll make us feel better my buddy he was starting to pass out
as he was driving I was like shaking him awake we pulled into the Dairy Queen I went directly into the the restaurant and went straight for the bathroom the supplement itself is has a sedative effect when you have that much of it and it was like putting my body to sleep and so I was passing out conscious and my heart was starting to slow down the last thing I remember was seeing the whole room start to spin on me and I passed out onto the ground on my back my body started to vomit to try
to eject what was causing all this and as it did I breathed it into my lungs so I suffocated I went into an instant like cool dark feeling where it was almost like I got plunged into a a pool of water and this water was just like instantaneous piece and through this this kind of Dark Water I started to see this foggy scene start to to clarify or come into focus in front of me and this scene was this this bathroom but I was seeing it from the ceiling looking down I never thought even for
a second that what I was looking at was my own body because me was up here and it was looking down at this scene so I had no idea that what I was looking at down on the ground on the floor was my own dead body I watched this customer trying to open the men's bathroom and it was locked after about 45 minutes of that he went up to the manager and he's like hey I need to get in here and I saw all of this and I saw um the discovery of this body I
saw them call 911 I saw um as the the manager coached this this gal who was like the assistant for him to um try to check for a pulse while he was on the phone with the 911 operator I saw an ambulance come it had three guys and I don't know how I knew this but I just knew this third EMT was a rookie um I could feel it on him I could also hear the thoughts of of everyone in the restaurant including the EMTs but you could hear them audibly as if someone was like
broadcasting that and that was really that was odd to me and it felt almost like it was a production like I was watching a film and I I remember having the thought that this is an interesting choice for the director to be showing me this this film or show where I'm hearing everyone's thoughts they attempted resuscitation they did some chest compressions didn't work and so they did pronounced me DOA or Dead on Arrival they rolled out one of these bright yellow body bags put the body in it strapped it down to this gurnie and put
it in the back of the ambulance again I'm witnessing all of this from above and that was a another Oddball thing for me I I didn't understand why why they were shooting this whole movie from above it didn't make sense because you know movies you shoot from in front of the target instead above above the Target and I was just kind of contemplating that at the same time as I was really enjoying this peacefulness that was just fully surrounding me and embodying me as they were going down the street in the back of the ambulance
I could actually hear the thoughts of this rookie medic I could hear him really beating himself up and feeling bad that first week on the job he's got his first death and he didn't like that he felt like you know if it was him in charge that he would have tried harder and longer to try to resuscitate the body and he felt that they were short changing that process by by quitting so fast he felt like they should have stayed longer and tried longer um and he was thinking this and as he was thinking it
he started to have this this weird glow start inside of him as if there was a light inside of his shirt and as it it started to brighten and get brighter and brighter and brighter then I I actually heard audibly very loud a voice almost like yell but not yell but firmly speak very loud this one's not dead and instantly he opened the body bag he didn't feel any pulse didn't feel any sign of Life whatsoever and so he undid another strap and was down trying to feel for the the large artery in the leg
and as he was doing that I felt an an actual spark like a shock to me as if somebody shocked me with like car battery or shocked me with electricity and I saw him jump right when I felt that and it wasn't a pulse he knew it wasn't a pulse but it was something and to him that was enough he wanted to try to resuscitate this body despite all the signs that said said you know give up don't do this including um protocol that they're not supposed to continue to resuscitate after a certain point so
he broke protocol he uh went ahead and force-fed oxygen into the lungs he hooked up a a machine called a defib machine to shock the heart on the first round of shocks there was nothing on the second round he got a single heartbeat out of the heart and as soon as that first heartbeat happened the other two Medics went silent dead silent and they instantly snapped into motion um the the front passenger he was radioing ahead to the hospital I saw them actually bring the body and transfer it in to the hospital and still I
had no idea what I was watching thought I was being entertained and and witnessing it from above but as they transferred the body into the hospital gurnie and they started to work on it the body went into seizures and started to to vomit some more and as it was um the the medical professionals decided they needed to restrain the body so they put these straps on it they put the straps on the legs put the straps on the right arm and then when they went to strap the left arm I felt someone strapping me and
that was the first inkling that what I was watching was interactive that I was involved somehow it wasn't just entertainment this was something connected to me and then and it dawned on me that the entire time I had been watching my own death and as I did I went into this spiral of fear that how could I be so so dumb to not know that everything I've been watching was me and my own death and then instantaneous almost in a snap I started to see all the bad things I ever did and I mean all
like even as a little small child anything that was selfish or negative influence on someone else I saw it but I didn't just see it from my eyes I saw it from my eyes and I saw it from the eyes of anyone impacted by my actions or my words and it was weird because I could feel like that lasted a long time but at the same time it felt like a few seconds and as that was happening I started to get kind of enveloped in this dark energy this fear energy as it felt like it
was starting to Snuff out my light I then all of a sudden started to feel this warmth as if somebody shine like a really bright light or the sun came out from behind a cloud and started to warm my back and as it did that warmth started to come over my whole being and I turned around to see where this warmth was coming from as I was turning I was seeing all the good things I ever did in my life I started to see that I actually did quite a bit more good than I ever
did bad and I got to see that lots of times when I didn't know I was making a difference for people I was and I felt this just tremendous unconditional love and peace and warmth but also coolness at the same time coming over me and and again it was all coming from behind me so I turned fully around and I see this gentleman and I had this thought you must be God and without him moving his mouth he said no son I'm not God I'm your guide I kind of followed up with well are you
Jesus because being raised Christian you know um I just didn't quite understand the dynamic of what I was watching what I was seeing what I was experiencing so my follow-up question was to ask if he's Jesus Christ and he he again answered no son I'm Not Jesus I'm your guide and he explained that his name is Drake and that he was here to help me go wherever I wanted to go he motioned with his hand like do you want to go back to your body and I looked back and I could still see the hospital
room and they were doing so many things to save this man's life my life and it looked like so much pain there was no question that I didn't want to go to the body I wanted to go wherever this energy is that he was sending to me and I explained that to him I want to go wherever this love or wherever this energy is coming from I want to go there and and he said okay that's that's coming from your home where where you came from originally and where I came from originally and I can
take you back there so we began our journey I felt like we were going towards heaven and I had recently kind of cleaned up my life and started to live a lot better life I felt like I deserved to get in to heaven and um I told him I said well that's perfect I I already know what I need to know um I've accepted all the things that you're supposed to accept so you can get into heaven and he he looked at me kind of like I was a toddler like with a loving smile on
his face and he and he explained that he was very happy that I felt that way but he wanted to help me get to even a higher level of understanding of of that love that he was allowing to me or he was bringing to me and that in that understanding we could actually go to our home but I did have to raise my understanding and in the process I had to raise my love energy which that's hard to understand what that is here on this side of things but that love energy is is a real
frequency or energy of that's around us every day and that energy is is so high there it wouldn't be possible to take somebody from here and just bring them there they wouldn't match that energy it's almost like they wouldn't even see that space at all and he explained that to me in simple terms but it's so hard to explain because everything was was nonverbal it was just direct understanding so we began this journey and I I kind of had this oh I know it's all going to be about love that's got to be what this
is about and uh and he said no actually the first and and foremost most important thing I have to start with and the foundation of my growth as a spiritual being is to understand authenticity and to be an embodiment of that authenticity and if I can't have that authentic self or know what my authentic self is I can't grow and so he showed me how I didn't I didn't think that I was being inauthentic but he showed me that I had a lot of different masks that I was wearing I would put on a certain
mask to be with my parents or partying at a nightclub or a party there was all these different faces that I wore and he helped me understand that I had to peel away all those masks and allow myself to figure out who I was at my core and from there could build um my love energy I could build my love frequency to to closer match that love energy of heaven and essentially I had to stitch together all these ideas of who I was to see the commonality and as I I discovered who I really was
then we were able to actually start moving away from life here on Earth and start moving to this dimensional space space and so we began that climbing of the dimensions to get to heaven and that brought me to what I thought was going to be love again and I said okay so now we're going to do love now that I've learned authenticity uh and Drake loved that and he said that's a great idea and yeah you're right you can't love until you are authentic but first even before love we need to understand why you came
to Earth and he explained that Earth is just a school that it's always been just a classroom and it's never been a courtroom and that was different for me because it wasn't that I was necessarily officially taught that life and Earth was a courtroom I had assumed it from my teaching from my learning in Christianity I thought that life was a courtroom where you were coming to be judged classified and either kept you know retained into heaven or Cast Away to hell and um he explained that no no no I I had misunderstood the teachings
and that actually Earth School had always been just a school a place where we come to learn to grow and to develop spiritually to learn how to build with our thoughts and with our love energy build relationships um and build cohesive energies to each other which is relationships and to grow that energy grow our ability to love to reflect Love Give Love um and to feel love ourselves then we got to love that love was a a very important principle in all this and it was the and is the strongest energy in the universe and
essentially is the building blocks of the universe it's what moves and motivates and and makes the whole system run and when you can understand that you can understand that you're the one that's in charge [Music] Drake taught me a lot of different principles as we made this progress one that really stuck out to me and and has since stood out to me quite a bit is as we make positive deposits into the universe we get positive dividends but if we make negative deposits we get Negative dividends and that includes our thoughts and and mostly includes
our thoughts not just our actions so how important it is for us to control those thoughts and and understand that we have the power of Creation with our thoughts and from there he also helped me understand that you know if thought is creation how important it would be for me to um honor the that power of thought Creation in my own life and really control what I'm allowing in me as far as energy um specifically he was talking about like media and entertainment and he wanted me to understand that if I allow negative Media or
negative entertainment around me it's going to get into my energetic body and it will be hard to get rid of it so it was important to not allow myself around that type of of energy specifically he he helped me understand that principle I call it the hour of power the first 30 minutes when we wake up and the last 30 minutes before we go to bed what we put in that space essentially becomes our religion or it becomes what we worship and if we put in that space news or we put in that space sports
or stocks we put any of these things in our Hour of Power we end up bowing down our energy to that and that becomes essentially Our God and that if we want to worship the real love of the universe our real God the real creator of the universe that it's important that we put honorable things positive things in our Hour of Power things that lift us up build love in the universe positive energy and as we do that we frame our day with our Hour of Power making us a positive individual versus a negative individual
and as I would Embrace a certain principle I would actually feel the trajectory of us moving faster and faster and faster and we weren't just moving from you know point A to point B we were actually moving dimension ions I could feel the stickiness of Dimensions as we would move through another dimension and it almost felt like we were moving through layers of plastic you would cut through it and all of a sudden it was easy for a while I actually started to see this this big beautiful bright space at first it looks like a
sun it really does but it looks like it's a million times bigger than our sun just huge as we got closer and closer and closer I saw this Mist it almost looked like a a um a wide band of of cloud around the whole space and as we approached this band I was starting to notice that this Mist was not actually a Mist it was a a compilation of all these spheres these round pearls um or orbs that were uh almost like opalescent like you could see through them but and you can see that they're
full of light themselves and as we got closer and closer I I was very intrigued by these and I asked Drake I'm like what is that and with just having the question he was able to instantly take my Consciousness where I was and put me inside of one of them so I could see what was going on inside and there I saw this this gentleman from a a far earlier era than what I was raised in probably the either the late 1800s or early 1900s just with his attire what he was showing up in and
he was he was cussing in Italian and just going off um Talk and it was weird even though he was cussing in Italian I could understand every word that he was saying and he was talking about his son how his son had betrayed him and that ended his life and in his Mind's Eye he was looking at his son but his son wasn't there there it was just in his mind and this this gentleman it got to a point where he he took this big breath and and was like like trying to trying to breathe
but he was a spirit body he looked around and realized that he wasn't where he thought he was and as soon as he had that realization all this light came around him and to me it looked like Angels like real Angels not not the painted pictures of angels but like real messengers of God surrounded him and then instantly they escorted him into that space into the heaven space that we were going towards so to me this is the Pearly gate this this is the Gate of pearls these orbs these big orbs that um I was
given to the understanding that as we triy to to raise our love energy to get to heaven the last little bit we have to exit all all the victim energy off of us we have to exit all the anger all the hatred exit any of these these low frequencies energies off of us so that we can get to that highest love energy to get into heaven and that the the Pearly gate if you want to call it that or the Gate of pearls is there for us not to keep us out but to help get
us ready to get in you know my experience of going in there and seeing him and seeing that whole process it all was running off of love all of it truly unconditional love for him for me for everyone in there and as we got closer and closer I could see mountains I could see this very large pond a beautiful Orchard on one end of the pond and these beautiful trees and grass and flowers and and I could see in the the far distance a building as well and we touched down on the grass I could
actually feel the grass and even though I didn't have a physical body like a tangible physical body from Earth I had an energetic body and I could look down and see my toes I could look down and see my hands and I touched down on this grass and as soon as I touched down on the grass it was like I got plugged into my home and it was like for the first time in In My Memory I felt where like I I'd finally found my home I'd finally found where I supposed to be and there
was this interaction just with the contact of the grass where the grass came up and met my feet and my feet met the grass there was like a comingling there there was a connection there and as that connection happened I could feel the loving presence coming from this grass and the grass itself had a sweet sweet smell and even had a taste even to touch it you could taste it and it had a a music almost like a symphony coming off of it and light was emitting out of the grass and that's when I noticed
that everything there emitted light like Source light was coming from every object in that space not from an outside Source like a sun but from inside everything and I as I was I was doing this I was plugging into the grass and recognizing Consciousness in this grass and to me from my perception that Consciousness is our creator and it was in everything in heaven it was in the the orbs outside of Heaven it was in the grass um it was in the flowers it was in the water it was in the trees it was in
in in everything in that space everything and so I got kind of the I I joke around I got the tourist visa of Heaven because I got to see all the the plant life the water and the healing attributes of water in heaven it completely heals you of any energetic damage that may still reside in you from Earth life I was raised in a fairly abusive home and that abuse stuck I was a broken kid and and I I channeled that Brokenness into rugby and into bodybuilding and into fighting too and that's why I've got
some scars on the head is from the fights and from the the rugby and such but um I didn't need to channel that anymore after that that water healed me it went in all those cracks that were beat to me and abused into me over my life and it healed it I became a different person not physically but energetically from that point forward I could feel Drake he came around and stood to the side of me and he said Vinnie this is going to be hard but it's going to be worth it and as he
hugged me hugs are very very different there because you know when we hug each other here we're copying what a hug is there and a hug there is where you're bringing two energies of maybe yin and yang and you're actually bringing them together to become one and any power or energy that I had and he had as we came together we became like eight times stronger that than what we could have been on our own and this is a a principle that is like an eternal principle that as we can come together in unity in
commonality in true unconditional love we can become eight times greater than what we could ever become on our own I then started to hear a prayer being given to my body now Meanwhile my body was brain dead for 3 days in a coma on Earth and I was hearing as if the the prayer was being said in my ear I was hearing this prayer being given over my body and it was being given by my brother and it had a tremendous amount of love that I didn't know that my my brother had but it wasn't
just his love for me it was the love he had for my mom and how broken she would be if she lost her son to this and that love energy was really really strong to me it felt like it completely removed my ability to choose to stay in heaven and at that point to me it felt instantaneous I went from hearing this prayer to waking up in my body I woke up in the hospital I felt instantaneous claustrophobia tubes coming out of me dodes and IVs stuck in me everywhere I pulled everything off I pulled
everything off I was on on life support so I had a lot of equipment hooked up to me even the Gown that was on me had some blood on it and everything I just yanked it off and I just stood there naked for a moment just taking some deep breaths trying to push that claustrophobia feeling away from me and as that was happening I noticed all these alarms going off on the equipment next to me so I went around and unplugged everything that I could and stuff that I couldn't unplug I just yanked it even
if it was attached to the wall I still yanked it out of the wall I was I was done with that I didn't want any of that I needed to get away from whatever all that equipment was and I didn't recognize that I was naked and so I went rifling through the cupboards found a couple of gowns wrapped them around my midsection I went straight for the elevator when I heard a scream and it was coming from my room one of the nurses had come in and saw like somebody had body snatched this guy that
was in a coma you know and she was she was freaking out another nurse came over she screamed as they saw me and and I had this knowing that I had to go back I had to help these nurses so they didn't get in trouble um and and do whatever they need me to do so I did have to sign about a phone book worth of paperwork to to liability release them as I self checked myself out of the hospital my dad picked me up at 7:30 in the morning and I entered the darkest period
of My Life coming back was the worst thing to ever happen to me dying was awesome dying was easy as soon as I relaxed into it and I embraced it um it was beautiful it's so crazy that we put so much fear around death because that was the best part the hard part was coming back to me that was worse than death it felt like a second death to be removed out of heaven cuz that's my home I know it's my home I wanted to die so bad I contemplated suicide but I knew if I
did that I would mess things up and so I finally settled into I needed to ride this out I needed to figure this out myself weeks later I actually went and sought medical professional help he explained that what I was seeing and hearing was a delusion and that he was going to give me some prescriptions for calming that down like an anti- psychotic type drug as he was writing out the prescriptions three of them by the way an older woman showed up to me in spirit and she said you need to you need to deliver
this message to this doctor and it was a message about his history and his past and I'm like no I'm not going to I'm already diagnosed as crazy here I'm not going to get diagnosed as more crazy and she said said no you've got to you've got to communicate this to him so I said like Doc I got to tell you something there's a lady here and I described what she looked like and I said this is what she's telling me there's some things you forgot about your past and I laid it all out there
it was took me 90 seconds to tell it this is a real good Christian doctor he said get the F out of my office and it it freaked me out surprised me and and I didn't even try to grab the prescriptions or anything I just left and as I was leaving his receptionist was like what did you do he's never yelled at a patient his entire career what did you do and I'm like I don't know I just delivered a little message and as I was driving down the street my phone rang and I picked
it up it was him it's the doctor he was calling from his cell phone he was you could hear he was driving he was like uh Vinnie he said whatever you've got I don't understand it he said all of his clinical and medical um education had no process to treat what I have but he said that what I delivered to him was a memory that he had completely blocked he did not remember it but when I delivered that it hit him with such a force that he realized that that was the the hidden experience in
his life that motivated him into the mental health field and with that experience he said you've got to figure out how you're going to trust this and how you're going to work with this but he said but I can't help you in that process I kept hearing from my Spirit guides that it was going to be worth it it's going to be hard but it's going to be worth it and so I held on I kept holding on and I met um my Earth angel my heaven Angel which is my wife the first time I
met her I actually could see I could truly see heaven like a little Slice of Heaven coming from her eyes and it was the first time I witnessed that love of God in a human being on Earth the month before we got married we were in this little town in Wyoming watching a historical presentation of this town afon Wyoming and they're doing a slideshow in front of all of us about the different founders of the town and up Comes This slide all of a sudden I feel this like cold stiffness to the air and Andrea
says that's your guide that's your guide I had been telling her so much about my experience she felt like she really knew what my guide looked like and so when I popped my head up and I looked I freaked out because now all of a sudden this was not a delusion this was not my mind making up things because I was oxygen deprived I was seeing Drake in real life from Earth and it said his name was Charles cuz it had the name underneath each slide it said the name was Charles kazer and my grandmother
was a cazer and so we went straight to my grandmother's house and I asked her I said Grandma Charles kazer tell me about Charles kazer and her exact words were Oh you mean great grandpa Drake he's pretty famous in our family and again I just like melted into tears because it was real to me now finally until that happened I still thought this is just your brain making things up because I had doctors tell me that and and I was thinking they were probably right that it was just I was messed up in the head
but as I I saw the face of Drake and come to find out that even the name I found out later from my grandmother that he was officially known as Charles kazer professionally he was also in government he worked in government and in clergy he was a a clergyman and he was always known as Charles kazer but all of his friends and all of his family called him Drake that was his middle name he was a big foundational part of this town in afon Wyoming he he was one of the original um site surveyors of
the land out there so that people could have parcels and farms and and such so it was it was really an amazing thing to get that confirmation of who he was in this [Music] life the purpose for us to be here is for us to come and learn we're here to learn the power of creation and we're here in this safe place because it's removed from heaven from where we our home is so that we can come play at the playground at Earth School learn how to create learn how to make decisions learn how to
control our thoughts so that when we come back when we allow that that part of our Consciousness back up to ourself then we feel like we've grown a little we've learned a little bit better how to control thoughts cuz here's the weird thing when we're in heaven there's so much love there that anything that God wants or the Creator wants we instantly want that too we can't have our own independent thought or desire because we're in such synchronization with God so we learned that we have to step away from God but not not in reality
but lend a piece of ourselves away from God and that peace itself is what grows as it comes back to us we go through this veil of forgetfulness cuz if we could even remember how much God loves us it would completely change every decision we make the biggest difference for me is all of my Solutions were worldly Solutions and very little spiritual Solutions before my nde and spirituality and God was almost like a a last ditch effort if I tried everything else then I would seek God whereas after my experience God was right there and
my my connection to God and to Spirit is my first check-in for everything um and I'd say that's the biggest difference where God is a a part of my daily existence in everything I do uh whereas before God would be a part of my life once in a while on a Sunday and that's about [Music] it it's not about your jobs it's not about your careers it's about your interactions it's about how you treat those around you it's how you're treating the gas station attendants how you're treating uh the mailman and and how you're treating
your co-workers how you're treating your family that's what it's about it's about the love energy within you as you love others you actually raise your energy but as you feel any type of lack of love you're drawing energy off of people so in life we can be energy producers or energy consumers and that works with love that works with all sorts of energy and unfortunately in this world we're it's such a consumer Society everything's about me me me but our real existence is about giving love you're taught a principle in heaven anything that you're lacking
go give to someone else and you will now receive exactly what you need but don't don't get it by going and getting it for yourself get it by giving it to someone else and that allows you to receive it and keep it much longer once you step away from the board game of life and you realize you are not the suffering that's been going on that you are this higher being built out of love that you weren't meant to suffer you weren't meant to do any of that you were doing it voluntarily to learn and
to grow and just like when you shape a sword you have to shape it by pounding it heating it tempering it sharpening it and the sword's going to hate you while it's being made but after it's it's made as it steps away and it sees how beautiful it is it's going to be grateful for it and many times in this life we get tunnel vision we're seeing the the hurt we're seeing the victimhood that we are but guess what have a negative thought you will create more negative so even though you may be a real
victim which I was don't allow your thoughts to stay there choose uh to be a Victor or to be victorious over your vict victim and as you do that choose the light choose the love thoughts you will actually leave that victimhood and the power is inside you and always is inside you and the holiest temple in the whole universe is right here between these two temples what you allow in there gives you the keys to the universe or it becomes a cage to lock you in and it's your your ability to allow positive thoughts that
allows you the keys to the universe [Music]
