Priscilla Shirer: Raising Your Children to Follow God | Praise on TBN

I had to kind of hype myself up and remind myself that I was the boss so I think we live in a day and age where children are the boss like they're kind of they they're totally ignoring what their parents' wishes are because there are no consequences there's no follow through um or there haven't been enough parameters set and most of the time even though your children won't say it they're longing for some boundaries Because boundaries given by an adult who loves them says and communicates that they're loved it's intentional it's in it's investing it's

hard work it takes a whole lot to make it happen and yes we do have those real reality days but in the midst of it I had a mom and a grandmother that had just probably a harder life than I had and I saw them do it for his name's sake and that's what's been ringing in my head all these years still does as I watch my kids now Raising my grandchildren do it for his name's sake because you have all you need to make it happen we were talking a while ago I I asked

uh Miss Lois I said do you do you speak much and she said only when the Lord only when the Lord tells you to yes I so is she is she a mother of not many words I would say that not many words publicly so my mom has been sort of behind the scenes individual as dad my dad is Dr Tony Evans and you know he's Got the small little edling Ministry he'll be somebody someday somebody just pray for him but you know they've been Faithfully pastoring this same church that they started when I was

one that myself and my siblings still attend to this day but they started that church you know 43 years ago yes so um there there has to be a very strong committed faithful person who doesn't necessarily isn't necessarily the person that's in the pull pit or you know Underneath the spotlight but that's just consistent and faithful so that's been my mom not only with the church but with the national Ministry the urban alternative it's my mom who was back there making all those engines run and just making the the ministry work and move forward so

um it's just been in the last maybe decade that that every now and then when someone has invited her to speak that she said okay I'll go but for a lot of years you just were with us at Home is what you were doing raising kids that's right cuz I really felt that was my calling yeah that was my Ministry yeah and I had a mentor in my life my mother she went home to be with the Lord two years ago she was 97 oh my goodness and she looked at me one day as I

was just trying to make everything happen and work because we started our church in our home and she said to me Lois this is your church and I never forgot it so I buckled in and took care Of my church my Ministry my four children and the ministry of God's called us to and I thank the Lord my husband is a very smart man yeah he knows that my background is business so I helped him to start the church and as Priscilla mentioned start the engine of the urban alternative which is our media Ministry and

then start a Ministry for pastor's wife so yes I've been behind the scenes but I feel really grateful that I stayed in my gifting yeah and my If I could use the term my grid my path your lane God my Lane that God has called me to be a part of but these children are my where my Ministry because they're gifts from the Lord you know yeah I think it's so great to hear that actually because I I think one of the hard Parts about being a a mom of children right now is that there

seems to be this uh message that's purported that if you're just doing the motherhood Thing that you're missing out on something you're supposed to be doing some worldwide ministry as well as mothering your children and so those that have chosen to just stay home in some ways I feel like it's easy to feel a bit deficient or a bit like you're not actually doing all that God has called you to do and I I think that that's a that's um not not necessarily the the right message that needs to be extended to people I don't

either you know my dad Used to I was raised in a pastor's home and he always talked about the the family being the church in in miniature you know and if it didn't work there you're going to have a hard time at working anywhere else if it didn't work in your home yeah wow you know and that that was the ministry and I know Priscilla you're you we all love to sit and minister to people and we love to be about the father's business but that business is in the home just as much as It

is on the outside this is our privilege to do to raise our kids you know and and do you think it's harder in this world today to raise children than it than it used to be I I really think so because there's so many things that could distract your kids yeah from the path you want them to walk on because of technology so I think it's harder you know I used to be able to let my kids walk to the library right now with our Culture today I have to take my grandkids to the library

I can't have them walk and we live just a block from the library but I don't feel it's a safe environment and that type of thing so yes I think it's harder it takes more time takes more investment takes more work yeah takes more work and I would agree I would agree with that because of the technology aspect I think that that as as my mom mentioned the fact we did not Have that as a distraction we had the privilege growing up of being bored sometimes I think we we have robbed from our children the

Glorious gift of boredom because imagination and creativity Sparks from being bored and so I'm having to work so hard our oldest son just got a um a phone and he's 15 years old and you know me and me and my husband went back and forth about when that should be and the reality is we do live in a technological culture so it is What it is we can't just you know keep them Shield from it completely because it's our culture but at the same time uh we are we are having to wrestle against this consistant

influx of of of information and brain numbing activities that are available to all of us I mean let's be honest it's not just the kids it's yep I've got my iPhone by the way she's the only one with an iPhone on the set all of us you got the Bible on the Thank you thank you but it is it's a struggle it's a struggle and and pulling it out of their hands and saying no actually we're going to sit around the dinner table and we are going to talk to each other right not text each

other we're actually going to talk to each other and the reason why that's important to me is because that's what we did Growing Up So we had four of us there were four of us and all different activities that we were in Sure but my mom and dad were very now I realize intentional it's the only way it happens is if you're intentional intentional about putting us around the table and that's where we would spend time together as a family other places as well but we were going to have dinner together didn't happen every night

of the week but it was it was a consistent effort on Mom's part to actually cook something and US sit down at the table and eat it together and that's where we Talked that's where we had family devotions that's where we found out what was happening in their day yeah we learned a lot about them and they learned a lot about us yeah you know they actually got involved in how much Ministry we did in the different seasons in our lives they would actually tell us you guys have gone too much yeah but but around

the dinner tables where we heard what was happening in our kids' lives and their hearts yeah you know Like Anthony our son we learned that we couldn't just tell him the day before that we were leaving for Africa and we thought we were doing that was wise because he's was he's our sensitive child and we thought don't give him this information two weeks out let's just do it the day before but we learned at the dining room table that Anthony needs to know a year out yes so the dining room table was very important for

us yeah to learn our Kids so is that lost on this this generation I think I think so I think they're eating wrong the television or I saw a commercial Lori recently where families were sitting eating dinner in like we're sitting today but they're all were there they were all on their iPhones talking to each other oh my goodness literally communicating sitting together by the iPhone so I think it has to be intentional that we put the phones away whatever and sit someplace where we Really listen to each other and talk to each other and

and meal planning doesn't have to be huge because women are busy today so many of them have to be in the marketplace uh helping to support the family's uh income and so dinner could be spaghetti just make sure there's something green in the plate mom you just freed a bunch of people up right there cuz I think we see on Instagram these beautiful images of these Gourmet meals that somebody is making in their Crisp white kitchen you know it's all white and gray and modern and you know it's amazing and the guilt yes the guilt

because they like I'm I'm barely figuring out this hamburger helper right here and um I mean even my mom even recently we had this conversation and she reminded me that there was a time when my dad said to her don't try to be new and creative about the meals just cook what you know they like like because you know it's frustrating when You do all that and then you put it in front of your kids and they're like oh this is too spicy this is too I don't like it I don't like it you know

you just want to say you're going to eat it yeah today um but instead of being frustrated she was like you know what just make what they like yes just make what they like put some vegetables on the plate and then let it be simple and easy a one pan casserole is fine just do that so you're not frustrated yes sit Down at the table just hide the vegetables in the casserole that's right and pull out a crock poot a crock poot will change your life in there and those carrots I love it um we

kind of went through this little stage where when we got to the table everybody put their iPhones in a pile and whoever gets on it first pays for the meal oh so that didn't last because my now with your children being adult children you mean whoever gets on There yes oh now okay that's a good idea so whether there is an allowance or whatever it comes right out of your yeah you know that um Chick-fil-A had this promot at one point where they had these little um baskets that were on all their tables at all

their restaurants and they were called phone cops like chicken coops and the whole point was when you came into their restaurant they were encouraging you to have everybody put it in a basket and talk to each other and I Thought that was so great and such a great example for families cuz we we have a um cell phone contract actually and one of the things on the contract is after 7:30 p.m. I think it might be 8:00 pm um everybody's phones are plugged up you cannot be on your phone after 8:00 p.m. and um also

at the dinner table dinner table well dinner lunch anytime we're sitting together at a meal or restaurant or for my kids you know when an adult is talking to you you are not To be on your cell phone and I think I am tempted actually soon that I'm going to put a basket out at the front door and whenever their friends come over I think I'm going to have everybody good put their cell phone so if your mom needs to contact you sure come down and see if she's texted you but if they don't have

them I find that they actually go play pingpong they actually get get in the pool or they'll play basketball or they'll you know they'll Hang out okay so you're you're a mom with rules you've got three big boys tell us about those rules and how do we how do we maintain it how do we um I'm sure there's a lot of women listening right now that maybe their kids don't listen to them sure much how do you speak to that W do you know I don't know if I could speak to this really well but

I remember when my babies were babies and they're in the crib and you know how You're trying to maybe train them to sleep through the night or something and they're crying and every I mean all your mom Parts want to grab that baby you just you just want to get your hands on that baby and stop the crying and you want to console them I remember standing over the crib um because an older woman in my life encouraged me to do this and reminding myself I'm the mom I'm I'm in charge I'm the boss here

the baby's not the boss I'm the boss and I get the Privilege of helping to shape this life to join with God he's entrusted this life to me I get the privilege of shaping this life and I only have really a short span of time to do it yeah but I you know it doesn't seem like it at the time every day seems like an eternity you know when they're two right but then when they get to high school you start to see actually this is going really fast but I had to kind of hype

myself up and remind myself that I was the boss so I think we live in a day and age where children are the boss like they're kind of they they're totally ignoring what their parents wishes are because there are no consequences there's no follow through um or there haven't been enough parameters set and most of the time even though your children won't say it they're longing for some boundaries because boundaries given by an adult who loves them says and communicates that They're loved yes and they want to be taken care I hate to cut you

but that was that word is a good word for single parents yeah that think that they're inadequate I need I need no no no they're still in charge yeah so that's a good work for single parents so I I have to remind myself of that even now like oh no actually I'm the boss what do I want my children's CH uh childhood to look like what Memories do I want them to have if I want them to have memories As adults of sitting around the table with their family well then if I don't make a

rule about what that's going to look like and here's what we're going to do well then I've actually robbed them of a memory that they could have had an adulthood but I let them just left them to their own devices and didn't um culate that time so just it it almost it just I guess takes a little courage to remind yourself that I'm the boss here well I remember my dad talking About people coming saying I don't know what to do with my kid you know he's three years old and he's just and my dad

would just look at him going God gave you that baby when he couldn't walk he couldn't talk he didn't have any teeth didn't have any hair and it's your responsibility now to because it is a gift from God and we're responsible for that gift what about women that have maybe passed that time where they have that influence I mean I'm sure that's Where prayer is a huge is a huge way yeah and and I I say still take the opportunity if if even it's past that stage yeah I say still take the opportunity every time

God gives you a chance to speak into your the lives of your children even even though they're adults you know I still call my kids and if it's a long um inspiration God's given me to tell my kids I tell them hang up and don't when I call back just when you have time listen to what the Lord inspired me to share with you so I think there's always opportunity to still speak into the lives of our children or those that we have care of family friends uh I mentioned single parents if they allow you

to speak into the children's lives you know Proverbs 18:21 says we need to speak good and today kids need to hear good because there's so much evil around yeah I go Ahead I was just going to say I think also to know that the mercy and the grace of God covers our faults and our frailties and our weaknesses so if there was disfunction cuz who doesn't have dysfunction you know in some capacity and in the way they raise their children or their upbringing coming up um you just sit back in that and you go okay

well Lord you know what the lapses were in my judgment you know how I didn't necessarily get everything right because Nobody does and so God would you bring the right people into their life would you shape their character in this you know as a young adult would you do what now I I can't do Hands-On because I'm not with them every day but Lord I give my kid to you and just know that his Mercy that's what it does his Mercy doesn't give us what we do deserve and his grace gives us what we don't

deserve and um and so that's the goodness of God yeah you know I love what you were Talking about though about setting the boundaries because in those boundaries comes safety safety and care because children left on their own I mean the Bible tells us all about it children left to themselves brings shame you know but setting those boundaries I think that's so important because I do um in a world that is so um you know internet phones all of that boy it's easy to just let the kids be with other kids go to their house

houses and and They're just kind of free to to do what they want to do and I think as parents we do need to gather our children yeah yeah and and bring them inh house a little more than what they are yeah I I kept my kids with me I I have you know they went to school through the third and the sixth grade but but I kept them with me if I back back at that time we had our own company and I was able to travel with my husband and I didn't go without

my kids we just didn't Matt Didn't either you know we just took them and I know that's not a uh it's not yeah everybody's reality exactly but um I think that's so important of course yeah just being close by being close by yeah it's like it I mean think about when you're TR people that nobody nobody thinks about this but I saw a news story about somebody growing this prize tomato and um that's the only reason why it's on my mind and in order for the Tomato actually to to grow to the full capacity That

it needs to grow it has to be strapped very closely to a post um that's the only way that it and by the way other tomatoes have to be cut off that could have been good tomatoes but for all the nutrients to get to the one that's going to be the prize tomato if it's not close to the post and if other things are not cut away it will not get everything that it needs it it'll be it'll be okay tomato but it won't be the prize tomato if it's not close yeah and I think

you're right and we got to pull our kids in get them close to the post and and again like little things like just having dinner together like we're talking about or deciding that before bed hey we're going to sit here for 10 minutes everybody's going to turn off all your stuff we're gonna play one round of Uno and then we're just going to figure out what happened in everybody's day I think little things like that where we don't have to be Perfect parents but just consistent just pick the thing you're going to do and then

do that thing do it well just do it yeah yeah wow did you make him go to church every time the church doors were open yes unless they were sick onto death they they had to be there in church and Tony got to a point where you know the boys I just had them put on slacks and t-shirts you know right or shirts and Tony looked at me one Sunday and said no I want them to dress for Church this was 40 something years ago now people go to church anywh they like they're just comfortable

but he just wanted them to wear a tie and a white shirt and things like that so that's yes that's how churchy we were I love it but now I look at my grandkids and they come to church in their shorts and it's fine it's fine it's fine Priscilla that's all right I just want to quickly say quickly say it's fine I admire that that there's so much release and so much Freedom now Right but in our day 40 something years ago your dad is very traditional when it comes to how you look for church

and and I would never catch you in skinny jeans at church still to this day Lois EV did not coming to church I'm K you oh boy so church was very important yes now as it relates to the youth service or the youth choir or things like that if my children said they didn't want to go we had them sit with us in church yeah yeah but church was important yeah what Traits do you see in Priscilla that that you gave her that's a great question what what traits did I give you Priscilla it's kind

of like a question for you go H what traits did you give me well I think that my interest in being a mom who's there for her came from my mom I saw that modeled in her and and it's it looks very different for me because I do have Ministry that the Lord is entrusted to us so it looks a little bit different Than when my mom did it um but that that's important to me lots of traditions um like every Christmas we would always um pick a family that was in need and my parents

would take us shopping for that family yes and they I think that you tried to coordinate it so there were some children in that family that were near our ages so we could shop for those kids and with those kids in mind then would go to that that family's house and we would give to them and I Still do that with my children now so there are things even like that that just got they're just kind of a part of the fiber of my life but then also my mom used to teach us Bible stories

with a flannel board remember back in the day there's no iPads there's like a flannel board and these little felt pieces and she'd put the felt pieces up on the black fanel do you still have the black flannel board no I finally Let It Go a I'm so sad I should have kept it but um You know every now and then she put the pieces in our hands yeah so that we could tell the Bible story and look how the Lord kind of lit a a match in my heart lit a fire in my heart

for telling the Bible story just from a flannel board and some flannel pieces and being in my pajamas at my mom's knees listening to her tell stories yeah so from the scriptures 43 years of pastoring here in the Dallas Fort Worth Metroplex right right here in Dallas Started in our home with 10 people right here in Dallas goodness gracious that's some faithfulness yeah and that's a lot of mothering I mean she's mothering a lot more than the four of us when you think about it yeah Ming mentoring the whole 43 years and sometimes it wasn't

mentoring coming out of my mouth it was mentoring with them watching what I was doing with my family yeah because I couldn't in those early days actually sit and counsel and preach and teach That type of thing what I did was my Ministry and now the women told me we just kind of followed what you were doing with your children and so I want people to know you're mentoring all the time all the time and everybody's doing it aren't they yeah and I think it was good too that they got to see us be very

imperfect yeah that we you know my parents are you sure girl oh yes oh detail oh listen yes my mother probably already knows I gave parents to run for Their money okay so were you the problem child okay now we're getting down to business this is T I would probably say of all of all my siblings I was probably the one that gave you the hardest time yeah we kept our eyes we kept our eyes on Priscilla a lot more um got a lot more SP and the thing is you know the train up the

child the scriptures talk about TR up the child and the way they should go right that's hard work cuz you're not Sure where they going to go way and so but we kept our eyes on Priscilla a lot more she's still is our outgoing personality very gift and just kind of trying to direct that and not quench the the will how do we yeah how how do we do that cuz there are strong willed kids out there that that are get I mean look at her she's she's amazing yes you know and and gifted but

she probably was a very very strong mouthy but look how God is using right You know the gift of communication and her dad I must say on live television all over the world that her dad takes credit for telling her that she needs to do her degree program in Communications so I want to make that announcement I wish my father would have done that for me a yeah cuz he we saw that in her she she she still is she wants to plan things and she's the life of the party and Mommy I can do

that when I had guests for dinner which was almost every Sunday Priscilla wanted to do name B name Place whatever you call them for the so they knew where to sit and she would help me get the table set so we saw a lot of gifting in her but we had to manage it because it could have taken her another way and I'm going to just be careful here um so it's just again I would say train up the channel the way that they should go it's a lot of monitoring it's a lot of managing

it's a lot of talking It's a lot of communicating it's a lot of partnering with your mate or family members to make sure the kid walks in the path yeah cuz you were trying to figure it out as well well what is God doing with this child yeah and so how do you think the easiest way to know to know that is is that just what the path is is yeah time time with the children that back to that kitchen table or dining room table time and you would say Daddy to spent a lot of

time with you Guys because little bit of reality some days it was too much happening for me to manage four kids pick them up from school ball games dinner what's for dinner huh and thank the Lord uh the church is across the street from our church from our home so I would tell I would call Tony and said Tony time's up for counseling and ministering over there I need some I need you to come and literally Lori it Would be so draining to try to figure out what to do with each kid that he would

say Lois he would greet me with a kiss and let me just go to walk them all just let me out of the house to recoup refuel restore myself to come back to managing so we're not talking about something that's easy in fact you said to me recently that it was a lot of hard years very hard I remember okay this is not my show it's Lorie's show this is your show I think there a lot of women That are it's hard and they it's hard and they think it just happens by as most as

for some of us no it's intentional it's in it's investing it's hard work I remember one day we had a baby Jonathan I remember looking in the Bassin and saying thank you Lord for the gift and then I sat at the edge of the bed and said what's for dinner I don't even know what's for dinner I don't I can't go to the grocery store I've got a little one here what do we do I remember Tony coming home and saying Lois I said Tony I just don't know if I could continue on with all

that God's called us to do because I really believe he just gave us a new gift the church is GR growing my Ministry is growing but I really believe my first commitment is to my family Titus 2 talks about that and so the Lord's given us these priorities of family first and children first but here I am sitting as a pastor's wife and my hand in my lap Not knowing what next to do and I yes I sent Tony to the store said get some back to the Spaghetti again that was the quickest meal get

some spaghetti get something green get some broccoli and that's dinner and Tony's not a cook but he helped me that day you so it it takes a whole lot to make it happen and yes we do have those real reality days but in the midst of it I had a mom and a grandmother that had just probably a harder life than I Had and I saw them do it for his name's sake and that's what's been ringing in my head all these years still does as I watch my kids now raising my grandchildren do it

for his name's sake yeah because you have all you need to make it happen you have all the power you need sometimes yes we need resits we need time away but but to do it for his name's sake because Isaiah let me go to my iPad real quick I phone uh and I did notes Let me read the scripture to you and why I do it day in and day out uh it says in Isaiah 59:21 this is not just about you and me it's about Generations to come we need to leave the lord's name

strong for generations to come it's not about you and me it says in Isaiah 59:21 as for me God says this is my Covenant with them my spirit that I have placed upon you and the words that I've given you to speak they're not going to leave your mouths nor the mouths of your children Nor the mouths of your grandchildren you will keep repeating these words and will ever stop that's God's orders That's The Message Bible God's ordering you and me so when when you come to those places where you just want to thr throw

your hands up remember you have an awesome God that has a plan for you and wants you to make sure your children know and grandchildren know because this is generational yeah God bless you that you know what Miss Lois there's so many Women and I know men are are mothering too they're they're in that business also can you just pray for them it seems like you've got that going right now why don't you just pray sometimes we have a little more faith in somebody else's prayer that's praying for us maybe even our own prayers could

you just minister to the people and pray for them right now father I thank you so much Jesus for this opportunity to just talk to moms and those that are helping with bringing Children up that this is not about us it's about you and what you have empowered us to do you've given us all all we need to make it happen so when the challenging times come in our life and you said in this world we will have tribulation but you also said we're Overcomers because of the blood of the Lamb that when it's challenging

help us to hold on to your unchanging hand and the power that got you out of the Grave so I pray for mothers today that are Just with their hands in their laps thinking how can I do this how can I make it I want to remind you that he's called you he's gifted you he's empowered you and he's released you to raise these children for his name's sake and in his name so we pray for these ladies today that are looking and and gentlemen and fathers and grandparents and all of us who are taking

care of the gifts you've given us that we we'll look at it and realize It's a gift from God and he has given us everything we need to make it happen and we pray your power in jesus' name in all the lives that are listening today amen thank you amen beautiful so beautiful that's so good you know I love the the generational thing because it says you'll teach your children and your children's children the goodness and the faithfulness of God and what he's done for us and that is that you know every seed is a

deed and and there are so many Grandparents I think nowadays raising their grand kids yes yes yeah day in and day out yeah and I wonder is there anything you would have done differently Miss Lois yes I was talking with one of my daughters Crystal was talking with my daughter last night and I said I would have been more vulnerable to you guys I would have told you what my needs were and what my um weaknesses were I would have told you kids I think you might Have sympathized more with me cuz I was telling

her that you know that you probably just sit your children down and tell them that you're doing your best yeah it's not perfect but you're doing your best and tell them why we don't have we have lean funds right now we're only making so much money we can't do what your friends are telling you you should be doing so I would say if I had to do it all over again I would have been more vulnerable and more Commun commun what's the word communic the word communic communicative yes with my children so they were could

be a part of the Journey of her family yeah but I was just making things happen making things work you know again just following my mom and grandmother like I mentioned they had challenging times but we never knew it yeah there was always a clean house and always a small meal but a delicious meal so I never saw vulnerability in my mom or grandmother So I perpetuated that but now I'm telling younger mother s because it's so much more that we have to deal with now in raising children that you need to sit your kids

down at a certain age you decide AG sensitive what you say but let them know you know it's only so much money we have um later on maybe we'll be able to take you to the movies and then go out for a meal and include your children in the Journey of your family yeah yeah how do you do that Priscilla You know I think every now and then I will tell the boys you know yeah I'm tired yeah I'm a girl I'm tired yeah I'm tired I had a really long day because you kind of

think that your parents I thought my parents were superheroes exactly I was just getting ready to say that about mine too that's right you kind of think they're super not until you become an adult that you realize that they actually did have needs you know there were actually things that Were concerning them or I think about the way sometimes as a woman in my 40s now how just my body's changing I excuse me with hormones and wait yeah oh I know but I'm saying something happens in the 40s too you know and um I think

about that that when my mom was in that stage of life um how hard that would have been to still be full on with these four kids and grow in a church with my dad and all of that she didn't even know it and nobody acknowledging yeah that actually She's like for real tired not just because she worked hard but because even your body as a woman is changing and how as daughters maybe we would have been would have responded differently or would have been helpful differently because we're aware that oh there actually she's human

yeah and she actually feels sad when the other women at the church ignore her or don't include her in something that actually hurts her like it's not like she's just Like no big deal she it actually hurts her heart yeah so then you start to look at the humanity of your parents so that's good just every now and then I'll tell the boys I'm tired so we're actually going to all make dinner we're participating and then after you guys set the table you know afterwards the dishes me and your dad are going to actually go

talk cuz we haven't even seen each other all day while y'all clean the dishes good and I Have to set myself up for the fact that the dishes are still going to be be done your way just going have to wash them again put him in the right place you have to go ahead and let go of the perfectionism of of the way you'd like it to be um and that's actually harder in our family for my husband than it is for me just to let them just just let them at the kitchen you know

no matter what it'll look like in the end what it means though is that you and I will have 20 minutes to just sit outside on the patio and talk for a second yeah well that's good you're actually teaching your boy kids to cook yes because our brothers did not know how to cook and that was in that Paradigm now the Paradigm has shifted boys need to learn how to cook yes they do I think so that's good we had to we we had to do a lot for my brothers you did yes so my

my youngest brother now he's a husband and A father and we are amazed at what he does because we thought he could do nothing thought he was paralyzed but he's the best husband and the best he was the baby but no he's he's a he's he's turned out okay yeah yeah we're surprised you know back to the superhero bang you know I look at my own mom and my grandmother lived 96 years old I've got beautiful beautiful grandmothers on both sides um but truly we didn't know what they Were going through no and and my

boys here a lot compared to what I did you know my mom never complained she was all I knew is I was not going to be a pastor's wife I'd look at my mom I go I don't know what I'm I know I'm going to be in Ministry but I'm for sure I'm not going to be a pastor's wife yes you know that's not what I was going to do because I admire you not only have your own family but you have the family there at the church and that's a huge role to Play and

I admire you I adore you for what you and your your husband have done in this this city I'm kind of curious about you though because there's a question you asked my mom and I was thinking I wonder how Miss Lori would answer that what would you have done differently with your two boys looking back um I probably wouldn't have been so hard on my first one yeah probably a little harder on my second one no I was pretty Hard on my little one just um he traveled um at the time with with my L

and they wish I wouldn't have been so hard on him either Mom and Dad Crouch but we were going to places that you know we were going to president's offices around the world and he had to be good and he had to be quiet and he had to you know so I was pretty pretty rough on him but boy he's a good kid he's so sweet um um let me think about that and I'll Get back okay what about discipline that's a huge you know we have swung in this beautiful United States of America on

what discipline is my daddy and my mama believed in spanking yes yes and and we yeah the Bible says spear the rod you spoil the Childs now I know we have to be careful how we use the rod but anyway go ahead Lori um that was that that's a big that's a big deal now you know my dad didn't believe in a time Out ever he didn't count to three I like that you know and um um do you have anything to speak to that well I do think we've swung way too far in the

in the wrong direction I I have had to restrain myself at times being for example in a grocery store and listening to a kid behind me talk to his mother any old kind of way and I mean I had to restrain myself from turning around and getting after this kid talking to his mother that way I couldn't believe that She would just allow that um so you're right we've gone the other direction where again we're letting the kids kind of run the show yeah and not have to learn respect and those sorts of things um

and self-control so we do discipline our kids um I I I'm not a fan of spanking but I do agree I do agree with the principle that controlled spanking is is sometimes just it is what it is and that's what a child needs to get themselves in order I think that Obviously that can be taken to the fur far extreme too and can become abusive and then that's that's not in any way what the scripture is suggesting um but I also do think I had a friend years ago who wrote a book called creative correction

and I do think that there are some creative ways that you can correct that instead of reverting to spanking first to just take a minute to to make sure your boiling point has gone down which I appreciate so so much now Because I realized that's what Daddy was doing he would send us to our room but then it would take him like 25 minutes to come that's just like my it was excruciating but it was it was so that he come down and settle and make sure that discipline it's not about getting your anger out

it's supposed to be about correcting your child and helping them to see um you know the the a better way to navigate the situation but I also think that during that time there could Be some thought put into some creative ways to correct so for example Crystal did this my older sister she was Raising her first child who's now married with a child of her own when she was Raising her um she kept um well there were several things she did creatively but one of them was she she was supposed to be taking things upstairs

there's a basket there um that anything that needed to go upstairs back to her room would be put in that basket and it was Her responsibility to get that upstairs she would just avoid it she would avoid it so Crystal gave her the whole basket which was now full and and she had to run up run up the stairs to her room with the basket put everything away put everything back in the basket run back downstairs run back up the stairs with the basket and she had to do that I don't know 10 or 15

times it was a big like huffing and puffing major thing but she didn't forget that basket anymore After she had to do that um when she wasn't keeping her room clean my sister took the door off the hinges and took the door completely out and um when she still wasn't cleaning her room well after no longer having privacy she had to move out of her room and she had to sleep downstairs in the living room she didn't have the rights to her room anymore I'm learning a lot today but you better believe car started cleaning

up her room after that so I Just wonder if there are some creative ways that are more specifically connected to the offense right that maybe could be more memorable to our kid and I'm not suggesting that you you don't spank but I am saying think about is there something else I could do that actually is going to get them to learn this particular particular principle I love that yeah the name of that book yeah it's called creative correction I think it might be a decade old now by Lisa welchel and she just talks about creative

options of discipline for your children based on certain infractions and maybe you know you might find a way to motivate your kid towards something yeah what's the um what's the role of a grandmother in WoW Grand children's lives you know Lori I had to really learn what that was because you've lived 18 20 something years telling everybody what to do and hopefully them following your directions And now you have to work through the fact that you can't invade another family it might be your daughter but she's married to someone and they probably have different rules

and different things so I I had to work through that because I was still in the mode of telling mhm and and why aren't you not you know and so it's a different rule it's like supporting your children yeah kind of find out where the need is and Supporting like they would call and tell me they're working on certain things in their children's lives so when I'm around them I try to be positive about that yeah yes plant seed into that so it's kind of hands off but you kind of want to have your hands

on it's it's it's really um different different but I feel like where I feel I'm having an impact I hope is um encouraging whatever they need yeah um making sure they hear from Their grandmother and even Tony out we would tell we would tell Daddy you know you might need to say a word here and a word there so that's where we are as Grandparents you know love and just loving and them I love when to sit between me and and service yeah cuz then I they're on their iPads and iPhones but I still put

the Bible in front of there is a word here yes just to because they don't use the Bible per se the kids they use the iPad so I to see the pages I want to see the pages and like Sunday Daddy was reading of a different version than what I had and so Joel looked at me and he said it's different I said it's a different version so I was able to kind of talk through some things and so I love that they're in church and I hope I'm answering your question absolutely so it's kind

of hands off because you want to respect the family right but I think it's so important though to support yeah what they're what they're Hearing at home what they're kind of dealing with at home to have that support that's amazing and I think that you know my mom is also being very consistent and my dad about still having some traditions that are that are rooted in our history so now my parents have great-grandchildren now they have two great-grandchildren and you know every fourth of July every Christmas you know there are going to be certain every

Easter we're together you know every First Sunday of the month my entire family and that's spurred on by grandparents who are saying actually we're going to come together and do certain things together and so my mom sort of Still Still The spearhead with that and we've just recently had a conversation because you know it's a it's a lot of us now just the children alone are like 18 grandkids yeah and then then there's all of us and our spouses and and so we've Had even had a conversation about that recently about well you know Christmas

is a lot of cooking cuz we all want my mother's cooking we want my mom's they all have a special dish like 12 dishes what and um You probably heard her accent she's from Guyana South America so we get the gye food that we kind of Love on Christmas so we're all waiting for it I know so there are still some things we want my mom to cook but she's been very honest with us I still want This tradition yes but we we can't we we all have to participate because yeah can we do it

a different way or even at a different place or where there's more room or we just have to negotiate it but it's still rooted in the tradition that starts at the helm and sort of filters down so in that way for our children they do not know a Christmas outside of yeah we wake up and we do something together with our little family but then we're going to Nani and Poppy's house and they can't even imagine a Christmas that doesn't involve n and Poppy they wouldn't even know what to do with that so the fact

that we that they still have that is a treasure and and I'm thinking about the person who you know maybe their parents have passed on or their grandparents have passed on and they don't have that well don't be discouraged yeah be be excited because that means it's you you're the one that gets to decide what do I want The tradition to be that I start with my kids that we can continue when my grandkids come and just start that tradition that's beautiful keep doing it be let me just be faithful to I'm sorry to interrupt

you but she's used to that I cut them off all the time because I I'm using the age thing if if I don't speak right now I'll forget right but one thing you forgot tell them how old you are by the way no I don't Want to do that because today does not reflect my age this is not my hair that was that was a lot of information oh too much information TMI look but let me back up a little bit even when we get together as a family um a part of the tradition of

getting together is the children saying their Bible verses yes and they run my husband puts a chair up in the room and the kids run in competition with each other to say their verses even the little ones The little two-year-old we let her sing she sings a verse yeah but our point is we're just kind of instilling in our grandchildren like the scripture says the word beautiful beautiful Priscilla we've got a few more minutes in this beautiful show I have loved this every minute of this I love when you speak about the family I love

the blessing that you pray over your boys for the last little while why don't you look into that camera and just minister to The people and and encourage them till we go out okay love to do that I do want to encourage encourage you to not strive for perfection in your parenting just just consistency just pick what it is that you want to do that you want to be faithful about and consistent about with your children whether it's baking bread you you know you decide I want to bake bread so my kids can remember the

smell of bed bread baking you don't have to be perfect at it just decide if that's what You want to do just do it if it's that you want to have a meal around a table um pick the two nights a week this week you can get it done and do it if it's that you want to have devotions do it just start and you don't have to be perfect but your kids will remember whatever it is that you're doing consistently and faithfully and uh that's what we had growing up I will I will say

that it wasn't Perfection it was consistent intentional parents and I'm so grateful for that now your kids will be too if you're on the other side of raising your children and you feel maybe a little discouraged because you're looking back and you're thinking man there's so many things I would have done differently well welcome to the club there are so many things that all of us as parents look back and would have done differently but it's okay because the holy spirit's got you covered there's grace and mercy that is Sufficient for all of our weaknesses

and our shortcomings and our Frailty and I'm so grateful for that for my own life and I'm grateful for that for yours as well so I just want to um tell you that one of the things that I do consistently with my boys is pretty much every single day as much as I can I Square them up and I do um say some words over them it's almost like a little prayer they are so annoyed that I say it to him but I say it to him anyway and I encourage You to write something down

for your kids your daughter or your son and speak it over them I say to my sons that you are a man of integrity character and honesty and you will love the Lord your God with all your heart with all your soul and with all your strength today you'll be a blessing to your teachers and you will be a blessing to your friends you will put on the full armor of God so that you can stand firm against the schemes of the enemy you are The head you are not the tail you are above you

are not beneath you are a leader you are not a follower and today is going to be one of the best days of your entire life and I know that they get annoyed by it but you know the fact that they can quote some of it back to me what that says to me is that it's getting into their system and that they're going to believe about them whatever it is I say about them and so I want to speak to you from God's word and I want you to believe what God God's word says

about you too and God's word says that you have been equipped by the spirit of God that every spiritual blessing that you need Ephesians 1 says pertaining to not just godliness but pertaining to your life every spiritual blessing you need he has already given you you have been lavished upon with the grace and the goodness of God the equipping of God to be the mother or the grandmother that he has called you to be You walk in Victory not in defeat there is an enemy yes but he is already underneath your feet he may form

a weapon against you but that weapon has no possibility of prospering and he already knows that before he even gets started you have not been given a spirit of fear but of power and of love and of a sound mind and you will be a woman a mother a grandmother a single mother who makes a mark on generations to come and God's blessing will flow not just to you But through you one generation to the next and the next and I'm praying the blessing over you that I've gotten to see fruition in my own parents

life I'm praying that you will not just see the blessing extend of your children but that you'll live long enough your eyes will be open long enough to see your grandchildren and your great-grandchildren one generation after the the other experiencing the blessing of God let me pray for you Lord Jesus I Thank you for my sister and my brother who might be sitting on the other side of the screen I pray right now in Jesus name that if there's any discouragement on them that you would lift it off of them Father you would replace it

with encouragement father you would Infuse them with your courage to do what it is that you've called them to be to do to be who you've called them to be I pray Lord that you would blanket their life in a peace that passes all understanding Lord I pray for Supernatural discernment for the mother who is trying to deal with a toddler Lord a teenager Lord a young adult for the grandmother that's trying to figure out her place in it all Lord I pray for Supernatural discernment and wisdom father as they train up their children in

the way that they should go would you give them your eyes to see that child even that problem child Lord through your lens so that they can Steward and guide in a way that will Bring you utmost honor father and I pray in the meanwhile Lord that you would help them to know that every deficiency they have has already been covered by your grace um your blood poured out on Calvary it's already finished it's done so Lord not to look at their weaknesses but to remember that in our weaknesses your strength is made perfect and

so we give our families to you our children to you both now and forever more in Jesus name amen amen oh amen